Mr. PaultatoHead Rightfully Hurls A Donkey Under The Bus, Publicly Says She’s A Lying Liar Who Lies

bunchoftools

Try to imagine the fully actualized, vibrationally braying and energetic freakout that occurred when Donkey feasted her eyes upon this smackdown.

In Paultato’s own words:

 

I have now written and rewritten this post a dozen times. At one point it spanned nearly 1500 words. But, actually, I barely need half that many.

 

Here’s the nut: A few days ago, Gawker posted its latest story about former TechCrunch editor (disclosure: and current NSFWCORP investor) Michael Arrington. Specifically, they published allegations that Michael assaulted an ex-girlfriend back in 2009. I won’t name the girlfriend here because she’s asked me not to; instead I’ll call her ‘A’.

 

The allegations came in the form of text messages sent to Gawker by Julia Allison, a friend (or maybe now former friend) of ‘A’. Most of us who know Julia have heard her make these allegations before, although the details frequently change: sometimes the incident happened in a house, other times a hotel room, other times a moving car. Unfortunately, this time, Julia decided to mention my name, implying that I was aware of the incident and so implicit in a cover-up.

 

I don’t want to speculate too much on Julia’s motives here. Maybe she thinks she’s doing right by an old friend. Maybe she thinks it’s a good idea to insert herself into this story at a time when the rest of us wish we could do the opposite. Maybe she isn’t thinking at all.

 

Whatever the case, now that my name has appeared on Gawker in connection with this whole sorry business, I want to say a few words on the record to clear up any misapprehension or misinformation.

 

I was trying very very hard not to get involved with the recent “Bonfire of the Arrington” saga, not least because, until this past Friday, I hadn’t spoken to Michael in a year, since he was fired from PandoDaily. To say that I was angry with Michael for how he behaved as an investor, board member and friend, is the mother of understatements. When I read Jason Calacanis’ Facebook post about Mike the Bully, I found myself nodding along though much of it. By contrast, when I read Heather Harde’s spirited defense of her former business partner, in which she described Michael as “an example for the field of gender studies”, I nearly shot Diet Coke out through my nose. And when I watched Loren Feldman’s video in which he says he believes Mike is capable of at least one of the crimes he’s accused of, I understood why Loren believes that: Mike has treated a lot of people, particularly former friends, very badly indeed. So badly that you could believe him capable of almost anything.

 

But just because Mike can be a bully doesn’t mean he’s guilty of assaulting women, or worse.

 

Here’s the truth: I do have some inside knowledge of the incident to which Julia is referring. I have this knowledge because, unlike Julia, I actually saw ’A’ that day. And, unlike Julia, I’ve since spoken to both Michael and ‘A’, and compared their stories with those of independent witnesses to ensure I actually have all the facts.

 

Earlier drafts of this post included a full and unseemly account of the events of that day. But, the more I think about it the more I realise that the details of a private relationship between two private people are… well.. private.

 

So, and with the full blessing of everyone involved, I’ll just say this. On the day in question — the day on which Michael and ’A’ broke up — there was a heated argument. It wasn’t in a hotel room or a moving car and it wasn’t even on the last day/night of TC50 as Gawker claims (I think the only detail Julia/Gawker did get right was the year). The argument began at the TechCrunch office and it ended at Michael’s home. The TechCrunch portion of the argument was witnessed by several people; the home part by at least one.

 

After the argument, and the break-up, ’A’ was extremely upset — to the point where she said things about Mike that she now says are not true and she wishes could take back. I have no doubt she said similar, if not worse, things to her (then) best friend Julia. But, and this is the important thing: had any of us present that day witnessed anything like the behavior that Mike is currently being accused of, or believed it to have taken place at any other time, we would have immediately called the police, and never spoken to Mike again. Again: Julia Allison was not there that day. I was.

 

Speaking to me on Monday, ‘A’ is absolutely adamant — and she is happy for me to repeat this here — that no assault or physical abuse took place and that she is not a victim of anything. (I asked her for permission to quote her verbatim but she insists that she doesn’t want to speak on the record about her private life. That’s entirely her choice.)

 

So, while I’m sure the rest of this sorry mess will continue to drag on, maybe even into a courtroom, let’s at least put this one claim firmly to rest.

 

Michael may have acted badly towards a lot of people, and I’m certain a lot of those people are glad to see him taking a fall. Maybe in my darkest moments, I’m one of them. But, whatever your feelings towards Michael, it’s important not to say things that aren’t true.

 

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366 Responses to Mr. PaultatoHead Rightfully Hurls A Donkey Under The Bus, Publicly Says She’s A Lying Liar Who Lies

  1. Worrisome Pelts says:

    How’s the view from ‘neath the Tatermobile, Donkey?

  2. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    SO BLESSED!!!

  3. Devin's Shiny Crocs (Base Model) says:

    Wow, it takes a true donkey to come out looking as bad as Julia does here. This whole saga is a truly sordid mess, and I don’t find any of the parties particularly likeable. And yet, of all the questionable people involved, Julia is going come out of this as the one looking the worst. It is hilarious. Dear karma, I love you.

  4. Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

    He was being too kind when he said he did not know Julia’s motives for inserting herself into the story. They are the same reasons that motive her daily-her own self interest. ‘A’ may want to call Julia’s parents for an extraction from the Grifter Cult and call it even.

    • G$ Paddleboat to Hell - R.I.P. says:

      He totally was, BUT I think that the speculation was a pretty tidy chute to get the reader to the ultimate conclusion that she is the fucking worst, without actually having to come right out on the record and say she is the fucking worst.

  5. Word Count says:

    Silicon Valley is lame now.

    • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      OT/sick in bed and reading new Vanity Fair ‘Cougar Night in Silicon Valley’ up next for me-so yep guessing lame may not even cover it.

      • Norse Horse says:

        @Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo – OT/sick in bed and reading new Vanity Fair ‘Cougar Night in Silicon Valley’ up next for me-so yep guessing lame may not even cover it.

        Yep. And that same issue of Vanity Fair also has a Facebook article that I can only describe as “fawning”.

        • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

          VF has gone down hill. Taylor Swift (she bugs me slightly less than Donks-Swifts young age is her saving grace/temp pass), a Kardashian award, Facebook fawing and the article about Cougars was just gross. Like 40 year old women don’t start companies they just hang around VC’s to date them.

    • chet bizzaro says:

      These tech fuckers are so fucking lame. I’ve had nothing but disdain for most of these fucktards since they started popping up in NYC with their fucking “platforms” and “crowd sourcing” and fucking “idea clusters.” It’s like Buddhism 2.0, it’s like fucking nothing, it’s an excuse to do fucking nothing but go to meet-ups and create fucking twitter accounts and facebook pages for all kinds of bullshit ideas that go fucking nowhere. They raise all kinds of money for ideas that go fucking nowhere. These fucking do-nothings make advertising look like a noble profession in comparison, and don’t get me fucking started on advertising agencies. HOWEVER, what’s more fucking lame is that someone would actually want to be a part of this bullshit brave new tech world as much as our Donkey. To that I say – Keep on braying Donkey. Keep spewing that new age tech shit because I need something to hate on. hmmmm, looks like it’s time for my medication. Christ, she almost makes Scientologists seem normal in comparison. I know for a fact those whack-a-doo’s have a better work ethic than her. Namaste.

      • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        I so agree with you. I do start up in medical device. We actually producea product and don’t talk in abstracts and much of that community wants something for nothing and have egos that can eclipse the sun without ever having done anything. I despise having to tell people I do medical start up because I can start to see the grifter wheels turning. And I have found (just my experience) that many of these guys have no knowledge of the real business world. A hoodie works in SV but not with a CEO of a health organization. It’s tragic I have to send a what not to wear email out prior to big meetings.

        • Inevitable Lolyer Debbie and her Legalzoom C's and Deceaseds says:

          They’re usually high off the fart coming out of their mouth on what awesome school they went and how much they’re making off their first job. Don’t drink the kool aid, you make the kool aid and sell it…fucking noobs.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          An amusing story. An extremely conservative foundation in New York scheduled an in-office lunch appointment with a tech twat. Said tech twat showed up 45 minutes late wearing flip-flops and a T-shirt that read DARTH VADER IS GAY (or something similar). Head of meeting hands him bag of garbage from lunch and asks him to take out the recycling as he leaves.

          • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

            I love it. I seriously almost lost a client because the tech guy looked like he slept in his t-shirt the night before and hadn’t showered in a week, oh and showed up to the meeting unannounced. Do you think that there are still only good tech builders in SV? I guess I think it’s like anything else that by the time mainstream is talking about SV it’s already over.

          • Norse Horse says:

            RRR- You’re a cultured NYer, I believe. Anyway, the NYObserver (which sucks now, but this was interesting) had an article about how even though there are tons and tons of Silicon Valley millionaires buying flashy apartments in NYC- thousands of them- they are an incredibly uncultured bunch.

            Vast amounst of young tech people with vast amounts of money, and zero interest in culture or contemporary art. A lot of them buy places downtown, in Chelsea say. You’d think there’d be some crossover between tech money and art, but there isn’t. These SV multimillionaires don’t buy art, support artists, contribute to museums or cultural institutions. They’re just not interested, what with all the new video-games they have to play in their penthouses and townhouses. It’s interesting and unusual. Buying art and supporting artists and institutions is usually what people with great wealth do in NYC, cultural patronage. The Silicon Valley people don’t give a damn. They are spectacularly uncultured for the most part. Anyway, it’s an interesting thing.

          • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

            They are young and it shows in the way they act. Money doesn’t buy experience.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Cultcha? Nah, I don’t eat that there yogurt, it’s totally fag food, know what I’m sayin’?

            There is crossover between tech and the arts in terms of new media art and (on a different level and for different reasons) graphic design, but yes, most techies seem to have little to no knowledge of the arts per se and most of them seem dead set against acquiring such knowledge. It doesn’t fit in with their Masters of the Universe self-mythologizing.

            Of course, with shit like “Gallery Girls” representing the arts scene in the popular mind, I wouldn’t be eager to experience it either. There are plenty of truly terrible people in galleries, most of whom make these idiots look about as intimidating as a rodeo clown.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Seriously. I lived and worked in the thick of it until 1997 when I moved away. I pitched a web business I started on Sand Hill Road when content was crap and software and hardware were king. Never thought about calling myself a “founder” or a “CEO” or even a “startup.” These idiots were ten years old when I was working 80 hours a week in the valley. I don’t think I’d recognize the place today, nor do I think I want to, if this is what shallow bullshit it’s become.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        P.S. Get off my lawn.

        • CDB says:

          Thanks I needed that PS …. i feel like a cranky old man tonight . and guess what I AM! I need to conceptualize my future self…. ROTTING IN THE DIRT!

  6. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    I still cannot get over the name PandoDaily.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      What the hell does is mean?? I can’t believe the site even still exists.

      • affie says:

        Sara Lacy knows all the “right people” and has big investors on board who also plaster ads all over the site, e.g. Accel Partners. The site is pretty strongly pushing some agendas; if you read it for a while it becomes obvious.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        A pando is a botanical organism that exists as a system of roots beneath the soil. It continually sends up shoots that grow into “trees” but the whole “forest” is only one plant. This makes it exceedingly hard to kill – it’s the Hydra of the plant world.

        So. Something impossible to get rid of that has the intelligence of, well, a tree.

        It’s the perfect name for anything Sarah and Paultatohead do.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          Thanks for this. Imagine being the sort of person who would choose such a name for a self-identified company?

      • Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon (HOW WHY/جوليا اليسون ضربات) says:

        PedoDaily

  7. Random Snowflake says:

    Paultatohead summed it up here:

    “Maybe she thinks it’s a good idea to insert herself into this story at a time when the rest of us wish we could do the opposite. Maybe she isn’t thinking at all.”

    Yes, Julia Allison wanted to insert herself into the middle of what she viewed as a “big story.” No, she was not thinking of the ramifications of doing so. She’s just not that smart. And now she may end up having to pay (Read: Have Dad$ers pay) Mikey for the publicity in the end.

    She sickens me. She just wants to be known and talked about, no matter what the cost. No real accomplishments (NO, writing about yourself is not an accomplishment, Donkey), nothing she has done is notable. She’s just a bland nobody that’s still hanging on by her fingernails to her faded 2006/2007 bout with notoriety..

    It’s over, Donk. Maybe time to update the Bio résumé and get a real job?

  8. Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

    I REALLY doubt that Meghan went so far as to lie to Julia about this.

    Here is what M told me about that day, very soon after it happened.

    M says she was at the TC offices, dressed as an iPhone for TC50. Mike was using her phone to take her picture when an overly familiar text from some guy came up on the screen. Mike lost it, in front of everyone. Later, either at his house or his parents’ house (I cannot recall), he pushed her. I believe she said Mike’s parents witnessed this and felt awful for her.

    Where I call BS on Carr is where he says anyone at TC would have called the cops on Mike if they had witnessed him pushing a woman. Hell no. As he notes, Mike is a bully and he throws his weight around all (snap) the (snap) time (snap). He treats people like shit as his default mode. And he has long been surrounded by sycophants and groupies who are enthralled by him. (Indeed, less than a month after this big blow-up with Meghan happened, Mike was in Hawaii with new girlfriend Rebecca Woodcock, plus prominent VC Jeff Clavier and his wife, for Rebecca’s birthday. He wasted no time showing off how quickly he could land fresh meat.)

    Fact is, Mike is smart and funny and just plain energizing to be around when he’s at his best. He can make you feel like the most special, interesting person in the room — and make you laugh like hell with his deadpan humor. People have forgiven a LOT of his more heinous behavior because of this. And there is no way any TC employee in 2009 (pre-acquisition) would have called the cops on Mike for ANYTHING. They didn’t have to, though, because Meghan has always said the big push happened later that day.

    I just can’t see her making that up and feeding Julia some BS story. She always seemed to want to reconcile with Mike, and smearing his name wouldn’t have helped her cause, would it?

    • Random Snowflake says:

      The overall thrust of this whole thing though is that Julia Allison, pathological liar, has tried to use someone else’s drama to gather publicity for herself. The bitch is sick, she needs help desperately. Where the fuck are her parent’s now? They just keep writing the exorbitant rent checks and smile? The poor bitch is fucked, nobody is ever going to help her it looks like, the few who are close to her just keep enabling the fucking lunacy.

      • Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

        None of this is a revelation to those of us who have been following her online reality show for the past 6+ years.

        Paul just seems a little too eager to dismiss all this, and he’s using ludicrous reasoning to reassure us that there’s nothing to see here. He’s even more morally bankrupt than I suspected if he’s cool with playing his readers for mugs.

        • Random Snowflake says:

          I’m with ya.. Accidentally found out about JA when she crashed some TechCrunch party back in the summer of 2007.

          She’s sick. And she has no intention of ever getting better, and her parents seem to be content with supporting and enabling her.. More entertainment for us, I guess.

          • Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

            I don’t think she and Meghan crashed the TC/August Capital party. That they were invited tells you all you need to know about what a “gender studies positive case study” Arrington is. Two dumb-dumbs with no tech chops, but openly seeking tech wallets to pay their way? That’s what passes for “women in tech” in Silicon Valley media terms.

          • Word Count says:

            SV in 2007 was very different. And to be fair, that was a pretty good party/after party.

          • affie says:

            I’ve been saying these for years, re: Robin and Peter are sick for enabling her, it has got to be obvious to them what she’s all about. I know others have said it as well, but there are also some who have absolved her parents, particular her mom. The thing is, I don’t think anyone is actually mad at Dadster/Momser. Personally, I love seeing the parents having their Julia enablement come home to roost.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      “dressed as an iPhone.” The prosecution rests.

  9. Jack, the Alice E. Marwick Chair of Navel Gazing Studies says:

    Geez Louise! The Gawker broahaha, a lovumentary (audio only) that seems like a Joaquin Phoenix hoax, the once fawning white knight Paultato calling a donkey a donkey–April seems like the Birthcray of years past!

    • Wonkeye says:

      Paul Carr has an ugly history with women himself. Too bad his ex deleted her blog.

    • Norse Horse says:

      We still have Eurocray, Engagement Expectations, San Francisco Dream Pad, “Pizza Haus!” (h/t Peggy Olsen) LA pied-a-terre to return to. With no visible sources of income.

      There is a cliff-edge of cray we are speeding towards, Thelma & Louise shit. I mean, how do you go off for a month in Europe with no plans for what you’ll return to? I guess these are just free-thinking, self-actualizing crazy kids in love, and with a bit of grifting and pickpocketing, they’ll somehow make it through. Such a love story!

      • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

        Euro Fantasy: About three weeks into Debbie & Donks insular vacay from nothing, NGMB’s $$$ runs out and Petey refuses to send his lazy spawn & her line cook another check. Eyes will pop as the 2 lovebirds are forced to actualize panhandling near the Louvre.

      • Inevitable Lolyer Debbie and her Legalzoom C's and Deceaseds says:

        May is my birth month! I’m having a bicoastal birthcray bash with some chickens and grifters. So blessed, so actualized.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        She brayed that she’s putting together a hosting reel. Heh, good luck with that.

      • mcakez: We Need to Talk About Devin says:

        I get about six weeks off in th summer, and while it is lovely, and I grumble about going back, I begin to get restless and feel ‘useless/unproductive’ during much of that time. Having a job to rest from and return to is the thing that makes the long break enjoyable.

        I cannot imagine how boring their lives must be, with zero to do other than navel gaze, actualize, and eye contact exercise.

  10. Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

    P.S. After Paul Carr has defended Julia for years, it is soooo satisfying seeing him get screwed hard by her. THIS is what we’ve been trying to tell you, dude. She’s a fucking hosebeast. Next time, be more selective about with whom you choose to align yourself. You are not special to her or immune from her cuntitude.

    • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      friends eventually become victims=sociopath

      • Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

        I think Carr sides with obvious sociopaths sometimes, simply in defiance of all the people who have accused him of being one, too. Ex-gfs, former biz partners — he’s done a number on many people and then twisted the knife by making a career out of being a self-styled bumbling arsehole idiot. Like a Hugh Grant character but without the charm, good looks, regard for others.

        • Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

          See also his alignment with the likes of Loren Feldman, Milo Yiannopolous, and Robert Loch. Birds of a fucking feather.

          • OMGPearskank says:

            Oooh, I almost forgot about Milo, the hapless little turn coat. What ever became of him?

          • kitten mitten says:

            http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/mar/01/the-kernel

            Two other former writers, Margot Huysman and Mic Wright, say they are still waiting for a balance of about £4,000 each to be paid. Yiannopoulos paid each of them about £1,000 at the end of October and, they say, promised further payments each month – but those were not forthcoming. When Huysman complained of the non-payment on Twitter, he sent her emails saying “You’ve already made yourself permanently unemployable in London with your hysterical, brainless tweeting, by behaving like a common prostitute and after starting a war with me, as perhaps you are now discovering” and implying he had a salacious picture of her from a party that he would publish if she persisted in complaining.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Ugh, what a fucking nasty little weasel.

  11. CUNTBunnies! says:

    First of all, who are the dipshits in this pic again? I am terrible with names and faces.
    [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/25h0t47.jpg[/img]

    Also, I was fucking around earlier and made this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=rgw1F9C5abY

    • Albie Quirky says:

      O Ineffable One, you ineff as ever.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      God DAMN IT. You fucking rule.

    • juliajane says:

      Love it

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      <3

    • Brayniac says:

      The dude holding lily is the founder of foursquare dennis crowley. I don’t know who the other guy is.

    • virgil reid says:

      DIED LAUGHING. had awful few days because of the boston bombings and this was so fantastic and needed.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Frikken awesome.

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      [img]http://www.katherinepreston.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/MoreThumbsUp1.jpg[/img]

    • Helena (The Best Philosopher; FIRST CLASS) says:

      Love this and you, CB. Consider yourself hug attacked.

    • Wonkeye says:

      I love you!

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      That fauxto looks like D0nkey did some fauxtoshopping or blurring or whatever on her tit … then I remembered that whatsherface (Alana Joy?) had out this up wayyyy back when …

      [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/wvvp7t.png[/img]

      Is that ^ for real?

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Look at the sausage curl. So funny.

      • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        That’s why you don’t go OVER the muscle with an implant. Donk and her cheap implant.

        • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

          All of her cosmetic work is cheap. The successive nose jobs, the veneers, the injections, the floating chin implant.

    • Barking Mad has always been too busy to actualize says:

      So funny. Hugs, CB.

    • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

      OH GAWD. I could not DEAL with her “pouty face shows my tits every second” era. I almost thought she could not get any more annoying, but with this “greatest love of all new age corporate robot speak” Debbie Seltzer era, I think she has outdone even herself.

  12. moonshinedonkey says:

    It’s finally falling apart all around her. And yet, she will insist that this is the best time of her life and the blessings up her ass are just SO AMAZING.

    Julia Allison Baugher, this has been a long time coming and I just want to remind you that this had nothing to do with the ladiez in the cat basement. You did it all on your own.

    Congratulations, you moronic Donkey, you can finally say you accomplished something on your own.

    • Inevitable Lolyer Debbie and her Legalzoom C's and Deceaseds says:

      But DAAAAAAD they’re BULLYING ME AGAINNN!!!

  13. Brayniac says:

    She’s been mighty silent on FB. I wonder if she’s freaking out right now.

    • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      It appears as if the vibration of shitsicles has hit the energizing air current of the table fan and has dispersed its energy to manifest all over her face and body.

  14. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Here is what I think.

    F Meghan. She deserves this. I don’t mean she deserved to be abused by this Arrington dope. That is heinous and never acceptable. I have nothing but sympathy for her about that. What I mean is she deserves to have the Donkey do this to her. She enabled this sociopath for years. You enable the Donk, this is what you get. Deal with it. Your enabling is what allows her to do this to so many other people over the years without repercussion. This is/was inevitable. Live and learn Megs.

    And F this Paul Carr guy. Same story. He’s enabled and defended this psycopath for years. Tough crap. Life is a boomerang. Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around. And so on. You defend her when her behavior is the detriment of others, it comes back and bites you in the ass.

    Love to see the Donk getting stomped by her old besties, but even better to watch them all get hit with some of the shit from this whole affair.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      It’s a real “who do you root for?” scenario, isn’t it? Who was it the other day who commented that there weren’t enough bus undercarriages in creation to accommodate all these jerks? Word.

    • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

      You enable the Donk, this is what you get. Deal with it. Your enabling is what allows her to do this to so many other people over the years without repercussion.

      Hell YES! Same goes for any sentient adult who chooses to spend time with her and not run screaming into the night. I don’t feel one bit sorry for Pancakes or any other guy who fucked the donkey. A guy would have to be a deaf, dumb, and blind boy not to realize that fucking a Donkey is a really bad idea, but does it anyway.

  15. Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

    I think it’s very sweet that Carr encourages honesty, there at the end. It IS important not to say things that aren’t true, Mr. Potato, and it’s important to share, and to wash your hands after going to the bathroom. But anyone who thinks JA is capable of honesty must not know her at all.

  16. not sure says:

    This is a really crappy thing to do someone who was once a friend.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Paultato to JA or JA to Meghan?

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        Exactly. It makes you wonder what any of their definitions of “friend” could possibly be.

        • affie says:

          It makes you wonder what any of their definitions of “friend” could possibly be.
          ——————
          Wallet

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          Evidently “person not currently violently shoving me” about covers it.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Do I win a prize for voting “both?”

        • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

          No. You win the ultimate prize for never associating with any of these assholes.

      • not sure says:

        JA to Meghan. Even if it did happen, it’s a terrible thing to do. Why would you go on the record to make a private matter public? I wasn’t aware Paul and Julia were even friends. It makes me wonder if Julia and Meghan’s relationship ended badly and this was her twisted payback. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t do this to an enemy.

    • Norse Horse says:

      I don’t think any, any of these people were ever really “friends” as normal people understand the word. I think absolutely everyone involved in this sordid story understood “friendship” to mean, “what can this person do for me?” All of them, every single one.

      Think of the very best friend(s) you’ve had in your life. People who were there for you, mutual love. Compare that feeling to the tangled diagram of “friends” in this whole sick thing that Donks inserted herself into for attention recently. Not remotely the same thing. Bunch of mutual parasites and people on the make. Everyone involved sounds rotten and dishonest and just a bunch of awful people. It’s a mockery of what true friendship is that these people describe their relationships as such.

  17. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    The donkumentary is here!!
    http://www.loveumentary.com/episode-11-devin-and-julia/

    I dare you to listen to Donks braying about the love of her life, with a generous side of Debbie’s soporific voice.

    PS: Pass the ointment.

  18. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Yeah. I got a hold of the original version of this essay.

    Hello everybody. It is I, Paultatohead.

    I have now written and rewritten this post a dozen times. At one point it spanned nearly 1500 words. But actually I barely need half that many. In fact, two (“no comment”) would suffice, but then I wouldn’t be able to wedge my ego into this barf-inducing clusterfuck in my smarmy-English-twerp-with-no-upper-body-mass signature style.

    Here’s the nut (haw haw, I made a funny): A few days ago, Gawker posted its latest story about former TechCrunch editor (disclosure: and current person somehow responsible for my rent check) Michael Arrington. Specifically, they published allegations that Michael assaulted an ex-girlfriend back in 2009. I won’t name the girlfriend here because she’s asked me not to; instead, to protect her indentity, I’ll call her ‘A Stunningly Hot piece of Ass’ (ASHA).

    The allegations came in the form of text messages sent to Gawker by Julia Allison, a friend (or maybe now former friend, hahahahahahahaha) of ‘ASHA’. Most of us who know Julia have heard her make these allegations before, although the details frequently change: sometimes the incident happened in a house, other times a hotel room, other times a moving car, at least once mid-triple flip on a trapeze. Unfortunately, this time, Julia decided to mention my name, implying that I was aware of the incident and so implicit in a cover-up. Although, if I had actually heard her allegations numerous times, this would seem to indicate that I was indeed aware of the incident. Logic is not my strongest point. Neither is foreplay, but that is a separate 1,500-word essay soon to be forthcoming.

    I don’t want to speculate too much on Julia’s motives here. Maybe she thinks she’s doing right by an old friend. Maybe she thinks it’s a good idea to insert herself into this story at a time when the rest of us wish we could do the opposite. Maybe she isn’t thinking at all. She’s been a little fuzzy ever since the trapeze.

    Whatever the case, now that my name has appeared on Gawker in connection with this whole sorry business, I want to say a few words on the record to clear up any misapprehension or misinformation that may be attached to my name regarding accusations and allegations made by Julia, that, being patently false, do impute, infer and imply that I, Paultatohead CUT AND PASTE TO DWI STATEMENT.

    Blah blah blah INSERT boring transparently self-serving diatribe and list of fellow assholes here.

    But just because Mike can be a bully doesn’t mean he’s guilty of assaulting women, or worse, hiring them. Ew. Cooties.

    Here’s the truth: I do have some inside knowledge of the incident to which Julia is referring, thus contradicting myself above where I said I didn’t. I have this knowledge because, unlike Julia, I actually saw ’ASHA’ that day. And, unlike Julia, I’ve since spoken to both Michael and ‘ASHA’, and compared their stories with those of independent witnesses to ensure I actually have all the facts. I even dusted her tits for fingerprints. Just call me Paultatohead, Private Dick.

    Earlier drafts of this post included a full and unseemly account of the events of that day, including the bit where he put his tongue in her ear and she vomited. But, the more I think about it the more I realize that the details of a private relationship between two private people are… well…private. Fuck and damn. It’s like a whole new world.

    So, and with the full blessing of everyone involved, because everybody thinks I am a cuddly bunny, I’ll just say this, finally, after the 800 words above: On the day in question — the day on which Michael and ’ASHA’ broke up, and not some other random day in question, like the one where Sarah finally told me to stop jerking off in her shower — there was a heated argument.

    After the argument, and the break-up, ’ASHA’ was extremely upset — to the point where she said things about Mike that she now says are not true and she wishes could take back. I have no doubt she said similar, if not worse, things to her (then) best friend Julia, mostly about Mike’s little problem with premature ejaculation and rampant crabs. But, and this is the important thing: had any of us present that day witnessed anything like the behavior that Mike is currently being accused of, or believed it to have taken place at any other time – ARE YOU READY FOR THE MASSIVE FUCKING LIE? – we would have immediately called the police, and never spoken to Meal Ticket – I mean, Michael Arrington – again.

    Speaking to me on Monday, ‘ASHA’ is absolutely adamant — and she is happy for me to repeat this here — that no assault or physical abuse took place and that she is not a victim of anything other than some poor choices where lipstick is concerned. And shoes. God, the shoes.

    Michael may have acted badly towards a lot of people, and I’m certain a lot of those people are glad to see him taking a fall. Maybe in my darkest moments, I’m one of them. But, whatever your feelings towards Michael, it’s important not to say things that aren’t true. Or that piss Michael off. You wouldn’t like him when’s mad. He might shove you violently mid-triple flip on a trapeze. And then you’ll wind up like Julia, drooling in the corner and dating Devin Stetler.

    WD ct. 900 – duplicate cc’d Michael Arrington – INVOICE ENCLOSED

  19. Worrisome Pelts says:

    EXTENDED CHORTLE ENCLOSED

  20. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    ITEM: Michael Arrington is an investor in Paultatohead’s current online talent-free shitrag.

    ITEM: Ratio of people willing to say bad things about their investors thought to be remarkably low.

    ITEM: Tater Tot is basically calling Asha a liar. Two girls, one bus.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Bug eyes, no butt.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      This is all very true, but the point is, it’s Asha’s story to tell, to not tell, to retract, to advance, to lie about the story if she wants — it’s not anyone else’s. She obviously wanted to tamp it down for her own reasons and has for years, but of course Donkey knows better and also, publicity. Asshole.

    • affie says:

      Actually, Mike invested in PandoDaily and they still kicked him off their board and fired him from his advisor role last year. And even though Mike is an investor in NSFW, he has no say and doesn’t talk to anyone there. That said, Paultato was still acting like a fluffer for Arrington, so carry on with your message.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I meant NSFW specifically. I was aware they booted him off SadPanda when Sarah caught him wearing her wig.

  21. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Also? Thank fucking Christ I woke up to the fact that social media is not my calling.

    Do you think that these morons ever wake up and think: “Gee. I hate all of my friends and I am not a character in “Heathers” so it’s not like they’re even attractive. There is something wrong with my life”?

    • LickedRandisCake says:

      They say the parties are great but, I would think everybody who attends would have to wear body armor to keep themselves safe from the knives heading towards their backs. And body armor really ruins the silhouette of an expensive dress.

      Aw, what the hello do I know from nice dresses? All I do is unhook one side of my overalls in order to get ready for a flirty night out.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Fortunately, my current line of employment means I have nice parties coming out the gee-gee. Enough champers to float a new season of AbFab. And the guests do not look as if they might recently have had lice.

        • Helena (The Best Philosopher; FIRST CLASS) says:

          Speaking of which, and also to make this about me, today I found out that next week I am starting my new job at an embassy. Woo fucking hoo, bunnies! You wouldn’t believe how actualized I am! /coolstorybro

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Yay!

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            Congratulations!

          • Helena (The Best Philosopher; FIRST CLASS) says:

            Thanks for your harmonizing energetic vibrations, haters. It’s pretty much a dream job, so I guess I should start off by fake-ass crying because I’ll be expected to perform some really easy and fun task in the very beginning?

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            high five!

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Really? That’s amazing. Congratulations!!!

          • Tingolayo says:

            Maybe if your fake crying is convincing, they’ll ask you to just e-mail your work to them… no pressure.

            PS Congratulations! You have indeed actualized on the impactful journey to your authentic vibrational destination.

          • Helena (The Best Philosopher; FIRST CLASS) says:

            Thank you, thank you, sort of sad angries! I can’t wait to fully experience the exponential increase in my development, without touch!

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Helena! You are awesome! Mazel tov!

          • Greg and the One Toke over the Line Cook Sweet Jesus says:

            Congratulations!

          • Helena (The Best Philosopher; FIRST CLASS) says:

            Thank you too, Albie and Greg, you jealous bullies. Your groundbreaking congruent foundation of trust is much appreciated.

  22. affie says:

    OT, but just a flashback to another time when Julia was shown to be a lying liar who lies:

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505123_162-42747228/julia-allisons-campaign-to-rewrite-history-is-coming-along-nicely/

    “Julia Allison’s Campaign to Rewrite History is Coming Along Nicely”… on CBS news’ site. A good blast from the past.

    • affie says:

      Also, amusingly, here is a PDF of an open letter written to Peter Baugher by Loren Feldman (former RBNS/RBDer). http://i.bnet.com/blogs/open-letter-to-peter-baugher.pdf

      • affie says:

        The 2nd page (where Loren gives “tips” to Peter Baugher on how to handle Donkey) is quite amusing.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I personally found this, in context, to be fairly vile.

          Also, he appears to be hinting that he and Julia had sex at some point.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        That was gross. And he knocked it down pretty fast, I thought, and wondered if Petey had been in touch.

        • Diabetic Feet says:

          Oh c’mon the first paragraph is very strong. I still laughed at the reference to Daddy’s “mid-western legal practice” and calling him a “goyisha attorney in the latter stages of his career.” It got gross deeper in the letter, but that’s some A+++ lols right there.

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

        What is the timing of this letter and his whole “mea culpa” , 180 about her? Seems like roughly the same time. Did Petey’s mid western law firm tear him one?

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I think there was a six month gap between this and his discovering that Jacy was actually a guy in a wig who was fucking his wife. He then moved on to loving life and embracing the light in all its forms. And occasionally making videos where he gloats over rape accusations.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          He went mental and thought I was some dude named Erik who was fucking his wife. Contacted Donkey, apologized to her for his years of abuse and told her my “identity.” It was like a Twilight Zone episode.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            You left out the part about moving into his sister’s basement and living off her stock of tuna fish.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            I’m sorry loves – I know the “what’s this about?” questions get old but, seriously: “WTF is THIS about?!?”

            (Come on – if you’d never heard any of this before and just heard that last bit, you know you’d be curious)

            Please, please tell the new kids! (Please!)

          • Modesto Strangler (form. Aspen>Tulips) says:

            I never got what the big deal about Loren Feldman was supposed to be. He would post mildly amusing puppet videos, get in Twitter spats with mommy bloggers and then have semi-frequent vitriol-fueled rants about non-issues, like any other balding white dude hassling a barista because his Frappacino is three degrees below his liking. He just happened to have a following of demographically similar dudes who would passionately declare what a forward-thinking genius he was.

            He got more interesting when he went mental, but beyond his wife leaving him and his RBD conspiracy theory, I didn’t hear many details.

          • Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon (HOW WHY/جوليا اليسون ضربات) says:

            [img]http://i1277.photobucket.com/albums/y488/kanyenast/u3KglCd_zps7a10bb00.gif[/img]

          • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

            So fat so stupid so on a nyquil hangover but wtf? Feldman open letter was a reaction to what exactly?

          • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

            WHAT THE FUCK. How did I not know this?

          • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

            HOW WHY, I am DYING at your gif. Haha.

          • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

            Per JFA, how in the fuck did I miss loony Loren going totally batshit insane? Was I out sick that week? Doing high moral tone and avoiding donkeys?

      • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        Wow-I love when I get to see little gems like this for the first time. It all starts to come together. Her father actually called someone’s work and tried to get them fired???

      • Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon (HOW WHY/جوليا اليسون ضربات) says:

        What the hell? I can’t believe I never saw this (started lurking around time when Julia was sleeping with both Greasy and Jack McCain)

      • Inevitable Lolyer Debbie and her Legalzoom C's and Deceaseds says:

        I feel like I’ve been rung.

      • fig says:

        That letter almost made me hand in my catlady credentials. Vile, misogynist assholery!

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      until very recently, Peter Baugher had a Wikipedia page!
      guess who was lobbying to not have it deleted? The same PR gopher who was messing with Julia’s Wikipedia page, Caroline Gibson (Cprgibson623). What the bloody hell? Where is Keylink PR from Vail? Is Caroline Gibson doing PR (very poorly) for Julia’s father?

      “This page is information about an attorney to provide further information for people that might be seeking more information about him.”

      [img]http://img.pandawhale.com/post-Mila-Kunis-smile-and-nod-gif-Px7M.gif[/img]

      • NonSobriety says:

        [img]http://www.spectacularry.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/jules.jpg[/img]
        SAY INFORMATION AGAIN! I DARE YOU!

        PR = poorly ‘ritten

  23. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    This whole confession smells of “I’ve been implicated and my lawyers are making me write this.”

    2013 = The Year of Being Sued.

    Michael Arrington is still a bully…a bully with the most money. Hey, that’s why we have the inferior gun laws we have today. Yesterday, the Senate protected their big money voters! He with the most money wins every time.

  24. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Picture of Julia and Arrington the last time they met:

    [img]http://images.wikia.com/slaveleia/images/c/cc/809154-leia_strangling_jabba_65.jpg[/img]

  25. Prof. F Camping says:

    did anybody read this cunty sorority email?
    why am i not surprised that this came from the same sorority that scary mandolph, MMBH, and Meghannaise belonged to?

    • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Wow. Reading that giving me PTSD when I went to rush week and knew sorority life was not for me. Hey girls whore it up for the insecure ‘frat’ boys and be sure not to mention other men in front of them, their little wee ta ta’s cannot take it.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Amusingly, they changed the writer’s name. To “Julia.”

      And yes, this is an amazingly cunty e-mail. This bitch is basically screaming at her sisters for not acting like call girls.

      Thank fuck I never went in for this kid of crap at college.

    • Shamoolia says:

      Wasn’t Julia a DG during her year at Indiana? At my college, DG was well known as the one with all the fugly rejects.

    • Older Natural Being (Sake Bombardier) says:

      The fuck? Smegma nu? LOL okay then.

  26. MY (spacious luxury) Beach Home says:

    OT/The JA in my life story:

    My office is 2 blocks from the Cathedral of the Holy Cross where President Obama spoke today. Obviously it was a zoo with tons of law enforcement from around the state. I snuck to the taco truck for lunch and ran into my JA there. She was talking about what it was like right outside of the Church. I asked if she had attended the service and she hee hawed that she had just gone to stand outside and scope out all the cute cops.

    Par for the course with that one.

  27. idiotbox says:

    Let me get this straight:
    “Unfortunately, this time, Julia decided to mention my name, implying that I was aware of the incident and so implicit in a cover-up.”

    Mention my name = Donkey donked to Asha “Hi love – a bunch of people – Paul Carr etc. – just texted me about your statement. Did you really say that? Life is weird.”

    Life IS weird, little donkey!

    How exactly does she imply that he was aware of the incident and implicit in a cover-up? Is it me, or is someone trying to inject his potato into this story?

    • The Missing Davos Report says:

      idiotbox, I also am wondering why Paul is throwing Julia under the bus so hard. Does it really help him?

      Julia did not mention Paul’s name to Gawker (as far as we know). Like you said, she only dropped his name in a private exchange with Meghan that we assume someone ELSE made public.

      Does Julia’s mention of him imply he was aware of the incident (whatever it actually was) and implicit in a cover-up? Yes or no, it’s unclear why HE texted HER. If he considered Meghan’s TechCrunch statement uncontroversial, why was he compelled to alert Julia to it (and invite discussion with Julia about it)?

      I’m not sure he’s trying to inject himself into the story as much as stave off Arrington – “don’t come after me – I don’t believe the worst anymore, or guess what, maybe I never believed the worst to begin with!”

      But to make the point of “even if Arrington’s awful that doesn’t mean he’s guilty” he did not need to pepper his story with anti-Julia comments. If the exact words of his text(s) to Julia have a Feldman flavor, it must now be tempting to Julia to share them.

      Julia doesn’t deserve shit from Paul. She deserves shit for:

      1. Hurting a friend – Commenting to the media, on OR off the record, before knowing what Meghan would be comfortable with her saying (and in absence of that, a simple “No comment”!)
      2. Hypocrisy – Railing against Gawker but happy to help them out behind the scenes.

      And Meghan telling Paul “she’s happy to let him to speak for her” – happy to let him say that she said things in anger that weren’t true? Why wouldn’t she just stick with her vague statement and leave it at that? Yes, he doesn’t reveal her by name, but come on.

      Tl;dr – Not Team Paul.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I am not Team Paul either — he’s obviously freaking the fuck out and publicly trying to curry favor with Arrington — but I love that he also publicly slurred her for being the dishonest attention whore that she is. The stuff about her story always changing was damning. She is a pathological liar, was caught lying in the Gawker comments last week, and is probably continuing to lie as I type this.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Paul threw Julia under the bus because that is what Paul does – throw people under buses. It’s part of his “I am hard and edgy, mad, bad and dangerous to know” spiel.

  28. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    Three times in the past week she has publicly sucked up to Randi Zuckerberg, unprompted. In one Tweet, she even said something like “next time I’m at your house,” as if that’s ever happening again. Of course, the silence from RZ has been deafening.

    Real subtle, Donk. “YOU SEE THIS ARRINGTON?? I AM FRIENDS WITH A ZUCKERBERG!!”

  29. no name please says:

    OT – for Phoenix rbd catdwellers

    I’m sorry to post this here and really wish the forum here was up and running 🙁

    Anyone have a reference for a good psychologist and/or psychiatrist in the valley? I’m losing my damn mind. Please don’t recommend Nisha, and thanks in advance!

    • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Abby Garcia

      • no name please says:

        Thank you!

      • So. Blessed. says:

        If you are without insurance I suggest getting a referral thru Magellan Health Services (I was a clinical liaison for them for years). It can be a slow process at first (if you are in crisis let them know to speed process up) but if you are dealing with major depressive disorder, bipolar, schizophrenia, substance abuse (just examples) they provide free regular visits with a psychiatrist, nurse and tx team, peer support as well as meds and crisis care if you need it. Magellan referral # is 1-800-564-5465 (hours 8-7-ish)

        Also know you can call Maricopa Crisis 24 hrs for ANY REASON. Please please call–they are good people trained to listen. 602-222-9444

        Hugs and best wishes to you. Keep us posted.

  30. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    Apparently there’s some kind of shooting at MIT. Donk should be taking to Twitter any minute now to claim her brother has been shot.

    • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

      LOL! I mean, not at the shooting. At the other part. “OMG MY BROTHER GOES THERE! I called him but he’s okay, thank god. MIT.”

    • JuLIAR Allison says:

      Fuck. You guys, as a non-US reader, I want to send you all love & light. I’m sorry you’re having to cope with so many tragedies as a nation. Be safe.

      • Random Snowflake says:

        Thank you, and we’ll be fine (as long as they don’t use the incidents to take what’s left of our freedoms and privacy). They will though, I’m just kidding myself..

      • Helena (The Best Philosopher; FIRST CLASS) says:

        Ditto what JuLIAR said. I’ve been thinking of you all a lot these days.

        I only spent one day in Boston, but I loved the city and definitely want to come back one day. And the West explosion has been on our news almost nonstop because allegedly 3/4 of the town’s residents are of Czech descent (like that matters, I know, but apparently our ambassador has travelled there and what not). And then these most recent horrible news. Love and light to all of you.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          West is a fun little place, Helena. They are SO proud of their Czech heritage and also pretty goofy, in a small-town Texas way. I think of you whenever I drive through because I’m sure you’d have a massive eyeroll for some of their hammier displays Of Czech love.

          • Helena (The Best Philosopher; FIRST CLASS) says:

            Oh, I didn’t realize you were so (more or less) close to the place! I’ve never been to Texas, and in my mind it’s a ineffably VAST state where nothing is really near anything else.

            I’d love to visit the area some day, though. There are more Czech (“Czech”) towns over there, right? Are “kolaches” a really exotic specialty that most Texans never heard about, or are they baked and sold outside those Czech towns as well? I think I’ve also heard about a small town in Texas OR maybe Nebraska where they have a law that the mayor must speak Czech well enough to deliver the oath of office in that language, but that might have been a myth.

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            Kolaches are so standard around here that I was an adult before I knew they were Czech. We actually live about 75 miles north of West, but it’s on the major north-south thoroughfare, so I go through several times a year on my way to other places.

            I haven’t heard the story about the mayor speaking Czech, but the culture is so strong down there that it may well be true. We have other Czech towns, too!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            West undoubtedly deserves credit for introducing kolaches, but yeah, they’re common enough fare around here, including the freezer section at the grocery.

            I’m 12-15 miles closer to West than WP — our little FD had already been called to come help fight the fire before the texplosion took place.

            The only amusing Texas mayor story I know of is that of Clay Henry, the beer-drinking goat & mayor of Lajitas, TX.

          • Reeks of desperate tutus says:

            West Czech stop is the best. Kolaches! Friendly service. Used to drive through there on the regular and my thoughts are with the town.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      A campus police officer was shot while responding to “an incident” (all I know at the moment) and has died. Fuck this week.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Fuck this week indeed.

        I’d read about the shooting & linked the article & my gregdamn dumbass relative started some stupid shit (she has no fucking clue what she’s talking about; she’s only parroting her idiot BF) on my page right as I was about to update that the cop had died, & I just lost my shit & went off all over her. Tough tits, she needs a clue or a muzzle, & I got one of each for her.

        Poor cop, poor family. I hate the world today. When D0nkey tweets a follow-up to her MIT humblebrag to cover her raftass & say that ‘she misunderstood Allie’s text, that her brother wasn’t patrolling campus tonight’, I’ll probably go find my twitter pw & let her have it too.

    • ThreeBlondesDown says:

      As a Bostonian, I have no idea what to do with myself. I feel like my city is crumbling around me. I am watching the news live as a TV reporter is in the middle of a gunfight with people who have hand grenades. How is this even real?

      Someone please make me feel like it’s normal that I am seriously questioning whether I should ever leave my house again. I just don’t know what to do.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I got no words. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

      • Dr. Gary says:

        The cat ladies love you. We got your back. How ’bout a Dr. Gary Special:

        *Hang out in the basement, watching movies (I never say no to Star Wars). Guest always gets the couch.
        *Extra blankies
        *PBJ sammiches
        *Grape drank
        *Percocet!

      • JuLIAR Allison says:

        More {{{hugs}}}.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Hey! My newsfeed is saying Boston Globe says one of the guy’s caught tonight is one of the BM bombers & the other is loose in Watertown … http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/04/18/mit-police-officer-hit-gunfire-cambridge-police-dispatcher-says/4UeCClOVeLr8PHLvDa99zK/story.html?s_campaign=sm_tw

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Have you slept, TBD? I’m thinking not. I’ve had this* on since your post last night, the way this has come together is incredible.

        * URL doesn’t look right but it really is live coverage.
        http://livewire.wcvb.com/Event/117th_Running_of_Boston_Marathon

        • ThreeBlondesDown says:

          Was up until 3ish, then slept until 7. Office is closed and we aren’t supposed to leave the house so I’m hunkered down watching the news like everyone else. I just want it to be over. I like “Homeland” the tv show, not the real thing.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            So stressful for you & others there — hoping it’s over soon hope you get some rest.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            It’s bizarre as fuck. I heard the explosions in Watertown from my house in North Cambridge, then literally dozens of police cars going past my house all night. Now it is quiet like a blizzard except for the birds singing.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            When Julia Allison Baugher (pathological liar extraordinaire), ambles up out of the hay four hours from now & realizes that the city she never even once lived in (contrary to her ludicrous claim / outright lie), has been on a public safety lockdown during an extensive manhunt, she’s going to be deeply confused as to how to spin some drama & bring it all back to her.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Praise the Greg … Suspect #1 is in custody.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I meant #2 (#1 is dead)

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Unbelievable relief. Hearing gunfire and explosions from the next town over, constant sirens, police and military vehicles racing down my street, choppers overhead…I know that for a lot of the world, that’s just “Friday”, and I don’t know how they can cope, because it was more stressful than I would have imagined. Sobering.

          Thank Greg no bystanders were injured in the last twenty-four hours. The loss of MIT police officer Sean Collier and critical injuries of MBTA police officer Richard Donohue are tragic enough.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Oh, and OneFundBoston.org is there for those of you who’d like to help. Thanks, hams.

            Still trying to find a central donation site for West, Texas that isn’t the Salvation Army, will bug people about that when I do. Also earthquake in China, fuck this week.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I’ll let ya know what I hear about West — there’s been a rush of donations of tangible items & now they have logistics issues, & it remains to be seen what Perry’s Emergency Mgmt request bears (if anything), so I am intentionally holding back ’til I see what seems the biggest bang for buck — their needs are going to take a long while to sort out.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Thanks, Brayella! Would love to know more as you learn it.

  31. Nickelodeon Chic says:

    OT: Apparently Julia’s suspected faux- Twitter follower and inflated online brand scheme is relatively cheap: http://mashable.com/2013/04/18/become-internet-famous/

    • Wife Branding says:

      Wowsa, the tool referenced in the article says 85% of her followers are fake!

      • Random Snowflake says:

        Imagine that.. What a surprise.. I can’t believe it.. How can this be? No way? Math is hard for sites that track these things?

        The dumb bitch bought 110,000 Twitter followers in the couple of weeks leading up to the debut of her miserable low-rated reality TV show.

        Her actual followers before said purchase was around 20,000 – So if you remove the bots that just happen naturally (I get them, too), she has around 18,000 real human followers.

        • Random Snowflake says:

          You’re not fooling anyone, Julia. And, FUCK YOU.

        • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

          85% fake, 7% inactive.

          She has just under 10,000 real followers. Not a terrible number for a nobody, but not enough for her ego I guess.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            Not enough to grift sponsors and/or bamboozle prospective employers. That’s her main concern.

  32. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    These people are like Nathanael West’s wastepaper basket come to life.

  33. ShesJustStupid says:

    So donks is moving to Deb’s place in downtown LA at the end of the month. We know she loved MDR, so what is the area she’s moving to like? How far from a beach?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      It’s probably only 25 miles to the beach but with LA traffic it will take 45 – 60 minutes.

      His area is very sketchy… in fact, there really isn’t an area of downtown LA that is not sketchy. There is a huge HUGE homeless problem but not only homeless, we’re talking homeless + mental illness + drugs. The homeless are really aggressive and you have to be very very careful.

      The city shuts down at 7pm – people used to only go down there for work and then leave. It’s why downtown LA was always the back drop in movies for a post-apocalyptic city. Now they have lots of bars and restaurants – but it’s not like NYC where there are lots of people and business open when you are walking from one to the other. Here you might walk for a 1/4 to a 1/2 mile to get to the next place and nothing is open – nothing is lit well and you do not want to meet someone high on drugs on a long lonely block.

      It’s pretty scary walking down there alone – I just can’t see her down there singing it’s praises. Also the summer is going to be AWFUL down there. Incredibly hot, smell bad – the opposite of Marina del Bray where it’s easily 10 degrees cooler.

      TL;DR those two in a cramped studio living together with 3,000 tutus = disaster

      • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

        What happened to their plan to buy a 5BR house in SanFran?

        They fell through?? Really???

        No, I am sure this just a temporary measure until the closing on their mansion in Pacific Heights is completed.

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      Yeah, despite pockets of improvement, downtown LA is after the white-collar contingent goes down and the sketchy factor goes up markedly.

      I don’t know where in downtown specifically Debs lives but I would suspect at best it’s urban-revival-adjacent.

      It is 100% not Julia’s hood and getting to most of her haunts is a real bitch – the beach would be the easiest as a straight shot on the 10. Weho/Griffith is a bigger pain (weho especially).

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      Pizza Hut tables, here I come!!!

  34. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    The real crowning detail is that I am sure that Julia thought she would be – for once – on the side of the angels. At last, for all the girls!!! But she hadn’t counted on Megs retracting her story…and Adrien Chen revealing her as a source…and, well, all the other things that happen when you make something not your business your business.

    I really doubt that Arrington will sue, however. Simply too much potential for ugliness to be raked up in the process.

  35. Twitter banned by JA says:

    will Julia aggrandize her involvement with Boston?
    or, per usual, dimish/dismiss it since she wasn’t there?

    “East Coast earthquake was NO BIG DEAL!!!11″
    cost estimates—$200-300 million — shakin”””

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      F her. I’m in the suburbs and I’m still uneasy just watching what is happening 45 minutes away from me and the things they are doing right now to find this crazy dangerous nutjob. I know I already mentioned that my brother and his wife and baby were literally between the bombings on Monday. Like, on the sidewalk, between them. Well, they are still shaken. And the shit that has happened since last night and this morning, it’s awful… SO yeah, Julia Allison pretty much can go fuck herself if she says anything else about it other than the “errr, like, what is wrong with the world?” comment she made the other day (or whatever the hell she said. That’s how I remember it.)

      • Dances with Hooves says:

        well, that was intense. they have him.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          🙂

        • KS says:

          Is anyone else revolted by this continual circle jerk law enforcement is giving each other? I’ve been following the bomber’s apprehension since I got home and jesus christ, they shut down AN ENTIRE CITY costing 333 million dollars to find a 19 year old kid– AND DIDNT FIND HIM! After they basically gave up, some dude comes out of his house and found the bloody boat he had holed up in. He would have gotten away if he had been a little more careful. The onslaught of cops and military fucking TANKS did nothing.

          I’m pretty horrified at how anytown, usa can turn into a police state overnight because some punk set off a homemade bomb, the kind I used to experiment with as a lark back when I was a teenager.

          So pat yourself on the back, cops of america. Yeah, you got lucky, but in the end, you didn’t do shit except invade people’s homes without a warrant.

          • Flying Donkeycopter says:

            Nope.

          • One Fat Melman says:

            The people of Boston are overjoyed at this asshole’s capture, regardless of who got lucky and how it happened. Everyone I know, myself included, was more than happy to sit inside glued to the TV to make this a reality.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Are you for real? Why weigh in on what didn’t inconvenience you if you weren’t experiencing what the victims & community went through?

            Listen to Martin Richard’s family’s statement thanking all the LEO agencies precisely for the round-the-clock time spent bringing this chapter of Marathon Monday to a close … look at the celebratory crowds in the streets thanking the police … people are breathing sighs of relief & looking forward to a good night’s sleep.

          • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

            You were a warped kid who didn’t get caught. BFD.

            These terrorists slaughtered 3 people with their “homemade” bombs, and then murdered a police officer this morning.

            Too bad you weren’t caught and didn’t get the help you obviously need. Sicko.

          • Tin Foil Baked Potato Kids Shorts is a LINE COOK says:

            I saw some of this police state complaining shit on Gawker. Listen, if some fugitive came into my house and was hiding, you better fucking believe I want the authorities coming door-to-door to find him.

            Get over yourself. They were trying to save lives, not trample on your civil liberties.

          • Julia'sTooSmallTutu says:

            Go back into hiding, troll.

          • Delurked says:

            and FWIW, they didn’t “give up”. they knew he was watching TV, so they purposely wanted to give the impression that they were backing off and looking elsewhere in the hopes that he would think he could move around more freely.

        • One Fat Melman says:

          I’ve never seen this city so happy – no championship can compare to the jubilation downtown, not even the 2004 World Series. THAT’s how relieved people are that this shit is over.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I was thinking of you! Jesus, this was stressful, I don’t know how people in actual war zones can stand it.

          • Dances with Hooves says:

            Yeah. Can’t say I’m as jubilant as I was in ’04 but I get your gist. More like relief? It was a long effing 24 hours (or, week) for a lot of people. Glad it’s over-ish. Love the uncle, btw.

          • Dances with Hooves says:

            (sorry– you already mentioned relief.. I’m tired… night)

  36. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Totally OT, but I am absolutely amazed by that Milo Yiannopolous guy. Holy fucking shit, I think he even out-douches Arrington (not counting the latter’s alleged assaults).

    Where do these plops of poop come from and how is it that they all know one another?

    • Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon (HOW WHY/جوليا اليسون ضربات) says:

      Yeah, what a winner. Love the fact that his oh-so-clever The Kernel had to shut down b/c it couldn’t pay off a low-5 figure judgement. Check out his other fails. He’s like a alternate reality King Midas who turns everything to steaming shit.

      Oh guess how he describes himself: A journalist and entrepreneur. Where have I heard that before?

      Of course, Wired UK has him as their 100 most influential.

      • Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon (HOW WHY/جوليا اليسون ضربات) says:

        Seriously. Anybody who has edited a Wikipedia article without accidentally deleting it is more successful and influential in tech than these preening idiots.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          He’s just…he’s just…

          I don’t know what he’s just. He makes Jules Kirby look self-aware.

      • Prof. F Camping says:

        wow, donkey and milo have more in common that i thought. using money from dead grandmother’s estate to found failed media empire, calling themselves journalists, entrepreneurs, broadcasters, columnists, with precious little to show, fleeing every city in which they’ve burned bridges (milo now relocated to berlin), and being smug assholes:

        from his website:
        “We have to talk. This thing you’ve been doing, it has to stop. When I ask you for a recommendation for an app, or a restaurant, or a new brand of toothpaste, I do not need to know that the CEO is a personal friend of yours. We all have impressive-sounding address books because this industry is the size of a postage stamp. So cut it out….It impresses no one. It adds nothing to the meaning of a sentence and it just makes me think the speakers are cocks who locate way too much self-esteem in utterly fucking unimportant things. And that makes me sad, because I know they’re not cocks. That’s why they’re my friends. Is there any industry as pathologically addicted to name-dropping as the start-up world? I only ask because this particular epidemic seems to be spiralling way out of control. You see, I was talking about this last night to two dear friends of mine who are chief executives of two of the most successful British internet start-ups. I won’t name names but you’ve probably heard of them.”

    • Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

      He’s also been fired for, among other things, anti-Semitic remarks. Fired from a job he fucked his way into.

      Ugly, vile piece of shit.

      • Devin Stetler, aspiring line cook says:

        P. S. Paul Carr remained friends with him despite his anti-Semitic and other vile comments. Like I said, birds of a fucking feather. Oh, and both are friends of the gross, unwashed Michael Acton, whom Donk “dated” last year. He’s no doubt one of the CEOs to whom Milo was referring.

  37. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    This is really like the 74th Annual Hunger Games.

    Except, instead of bows and arrows and whatnot, they all have buses to shove each other in front of.

    And they’re all revolting.

    And they all face-plant the second they step off the plinth.

  38. Barking Mad has always been too busy to actualize says:

    Well, she’s awake. Not sure how awake, though. Some tweets to whoever she’s brown-nosing today. And then this:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison 1h
    Searching #bitcoin may well be the most interesting thread on the internet right now.

    Is she oblivious to the whole thing or is she trivializing it?

    • Whining Poofy Bore says:

      “Manhunt? What manhunt? I already FOUND a dude in tiny silver shorts.”

    • JuLIAR Allison says:

      She is so epically out of touch with humanity.

      *Reads here, thinks to self ‘I’ll show them, I won’t even mention the one event that has been captivating social media & the nation for the past 20 hours’, writes dumb bitcoin tweet, pats self on the back for being so smart.*

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, my fuck, my Internet trainwrecks collide. Bitcoin is crazy as hell. As is Julie Albertson.

    • Delurked says:

      Is she fucking kidding me with this?!? IS SHE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!??!?

    • Norse Horse says:

      Christ almighty. Yeah, slow news week, Donkfuck. The past four hours, events happening in MA, rapid and dramatic, but #bitcoin is the most interesting thing on the Internet right now. You are an unbelievable fucking asshole, Baugher.

      • Tom Wolfe goes “neenur neenur neenur” to random Amazon reviewers(Queen Neferteeri) says:

        That’s because she already shot her wad on trying to make the Boston atrocity about herself.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Marianne Williamson ‏@marwilliamson 4h Let’s all send light, angels & peace to the city of Boston. Eyes closed, breathing slowly, literally send the love that quells all fear…
          Retweeted by Julia Allison

          Of course D0nkey waited ’til someone else said something poignant about Boston & then RT’d it. She picked a real smart one too …

          Marianne Williamson ‏@marwilliamson 12m What happened to the innocent until proven guilty part? One “surveillance picture” and we’re supposed to go, “Oh, okay…!”?

    • idiotbox says:

      Because none of her friends have tweeted how they feel about this, Donkey doesn’t know how to feel. Staying safe, I see.

      • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        Isolated Donkey is my fav, cause you’re right unless someone else says it first she doesn’t know what to think-and then she starts trying to think for herself which brings delicious riches of stupidity.

  39. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    D0nkey spent another Friday night alone, “working” (stalking) …

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison So, @RamshackleGlam officially has the best reel out there. She WILL be hosting a HGTV show before we all know it: http://youtu.be/83U_rCY

    And then D0nkey, while patting her pelts, cried herself to sleep.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Why is she always on her own on weekends? Does Debbie have a weekend gig?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        You noticed that too? Throughout the universe, in perpetuity Chef Gurl R Dee must have a *Time off for good behavior clause* written into the Fake Boyfriend Agreement.

        I think I just might place a BUY (by/bye/bi) on popcorn options, cuz Shit & Cray is gonna get real when they’re forced to reside in one stall, & one. stall. only.

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          I’m trying to picture how this will work out. How many sq feet is his place? And there’s no bedroom, right? Just one room? That’s going to be a nightmare unless they’re on the same schedule. I guess not going outside isn’t a big deal for her since she spends all her time online anyway. What about a car? She must have gotten out of that lease. So, outside of that dumb pink beach bike, she’ll have no way to get out of the hood.

          Sounds great!

          • juliajane says:

            There’s no way Julia will deign to stay at Debbie’s studio for long. I think Dad$er’s gonna get hit up for rent in another place.

          • Tingolayo says:

            Lilly will be wearing her booties 24/7 in that neighborhood (said no straight man ever.)

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

            500 sq feet I believe, LOL…

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

            PS, what fun to go to Meagan Marks wedding – full of rich REAL founders with real OMG SEXY 4 bedroom homes in SF of their own – with your broke ass, unemployed boyfriend… only to return to a studio apartment in skeezy, boiling hot, smelly downtown LA.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            500 sq feet ? It has to be bigger than that they’ll never make it. I lived in 450 sq feet w my bf goat six months years ago and neither of us owned a lot of stuff and it was still tight.

            I think Debbie has a weekend bar tending or coffee shop gig. Someone has to have an income

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            He’s the bouncer at Bronyland.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Lol my “bf goat”. I don’t even know what that auto corrected

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

            Yeah, it’s 560 sq. feet according to his air bnb ad (eye roll).

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Wow. I don’t believe she’ll be able to hack that. It’s one thing if your small space is in some place with natural beauty or has outside space (my old NYC studio had a deck), but if your only escape is into a depressing downtown? Yikes.

          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            Because I would like to make everything about meeeeee (trick I learned from a donkey) I’ve spent the last 3 years in a 150 square foot studio/efficiency in Manhattan with my bf. Amazingly, we haven’t killed each other yet and are getting married. I pretty much own like 5 outfits and a kindle.

            And this motherfucking broom closet costs $1500. A month. Not including utilities, though mice and roaches are free.

            Also I just finished my master’s thesis. Fuck yeah. Celebrating with cheetos and Franzia.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Seriously, though, if Debbie is committed to becoming a chef or even a marginally credentialed cook or caterer, she better prepare to be alone a lot in the evenings and on weekends.

      • Norse Horse says:

        Go-go boy dancing on a bar in a gay club. I’m calling it as truth. Despite that face of his and the micropeen.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Could there be a better example of how batshit insane this loony is? She has zero recollection of how their friendship ended. Or, more likely, she thinks it just doesn’t matter because it was years ago. So silly.

      For pete’s sake, she stole the tiara.

      Sociopath.

    • Line Cookery says:

      Pointy has probably shut her out, so she’s trying to revive her burned sisterly bridges with Zuckerberg, Jordan, Mary, etc.

    • Tingolayo says:

      Like all her (paid) followers are wondering who has the best “reel” (LOL) out there, until Donk makes the official announcement.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        It’s almost like her completely-ignored question about ‘the most natural (totally posed-for) headshot’ taught her nothing …

    • juliajane says:

      I guess Julia has forgotten that just three years ago she accused Jordan of theft and somewhat mysteriously said she was wrong to have trusted her.

      I wonder what the hell Julia wants from Jordan now?

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

        She might think Jordan knows about what went down with Pointy and will back her up. Because Julia Allison is mental.

  40. Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

    Never been happier to attend a Bruins game.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Did they play “Sweet Caroline” when announcing the news?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Loving the Bruins so hard right now, they have been wonderful (players and management) through this.

  41. Grammarian says:

    what if going to europe means breaking up quietly moving back into downtown omg condo and pretending the three week gap never happened

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I still think she’s going to get a convenient hangnail and be forbidden by her doctors to fly.

      Hanghoof, wevs.

    • fig says:

      I predict a breakup either during the Europe trip or after and a not so quiet move back into the downtown condo to “heal” and “write”. Which will serve as a reasonable explanation (in her head) for why she will remain there for at least the next two years. With some fun trips thrown in to stalk the men she meets at the wedding in their hometown.

      • Grammarian says:

        wagering $1 that the euro trip doesn’t exist, never was real, doesn’t happen: all of the above, some of the above, one of the above

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Or he goes by himself w/out her*?

          I’m still not even convinced that they went to Peru, not since someone floated the idea that their fauxtos (all two of ’em) may have been in front of a greenscreen**.

          *Takes a “buddy” at the last minute, but only because ::wink wink:: D0nkey ran home to Momm$ey & Dadd$ey w/ a busted heart & that other ticket couldn’t go to waste, right? RIGHT?

          **Maybe after she reads here, she’ll post a video of the passports being opened to the pages stamped for entry & exit? OR NOT.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        I bet she still goes to the wedding, unless lawsuit happens. She has too much stupid pride to cancel. But the rest of the trip might be history.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Yeah, Ima wager that Europe is the wrap-up of Chef Gurl R Dee’s contractual obligations playing D0nkey’s Divined Devotee …

        It’s the timing: her lease at the Marina yel Bray stall is up; they conveniently have nothing lined up elsewhere together …

        He got a couple of international trips, as negotiated; D0nkey has a book theme.

  42. Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

    What are Donks and Debs going to do this week-end?

    LA Times Festival of books? (She probably read them ALL.)

    Ciclavia?

    Or will our line cook be participating in the Grilled Cheese Invitational?
    http://wherela.com/blog/2013/04/18/la-weekend-events-roundup-04-19-13/

    • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

      Indeed Donks read ALL those books back in high school, long before they were published but not before she’d cornered the market on yellow highlighters.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      I’m not sure if Devie has the culinary chops to participate in the Grilled Cheese Invitational.. But maybe they’ll make an exception since he already has the checks, jacket and plastic Crocs?

  43. Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1992147/

    Watching this movie and had to put it on pause. It’s the JA story of love.

  44. ShesJustStupid says:

    Did anyone see this clarification on Paultato’s blog post?

    “The only thing I know about the Michael Arrington allegations
    By Paul Carr, April 17, 2013

    [Update: Since publishing this post, I have spoken to Julia Allison who asked that I clarify she did not at any time speak to a Gawker journalist or editor. She spoke to a friend who is affiliated with the site and who passed on her claims to reporting staff without being authorized to do so. I am very happy to make that clarification.]

    • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

      She never stops. She’s such a goddamn cunt.

      • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

        Did her iphone lie too? The one that said she was inside and saw everything? Her iphone is such a liar! How dare it! It should be ashamed of itself!

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

          Her iPhone WAS NOT AUTHORIZED!!!!!

    • Jack the Vibrationally Congruent Bulldog says:

      Did Petey Baugher, Equine, just fax Paultato a C&D re: his pretty pink pelted princess?

    • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      They all deserved to have legal action taken against them. Back peddling, cya, not one of them has an admirable bone in their bodies.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I have come to the conclusion that in terms of social contacts, Ellsberg, Annie Tralalalalalala and Debbie represent a step UP. They may be bonkers new age grifters but they’re not as….yuck….and these tech world phonies.

        • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

          They all seem pretty gross to me. Devil’s lil group is too stoned to do any real harm and the tech group she soooo longs to be a part of would sell their own mother’s soul for a deal. She will circle the drain with these type of people regardless of their career choices because she is fundamentally a broken sociopath unable to be fixed. We could come back to this page in 10 years and the same cycle would be repeating itself-just with worse plastic surgery.

    • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

      She spoke to a friend affiliated with the site. So basically, someone who works for gawker. And yet LO SHE DID NOT KNOW SHE WAS POTENTIALLY TALKING TO GAWKER.

      She honestly is fucking sick.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

        EXACTLY “affiliated with the site,” bitch. That’s even DUMBER than talking to a reporter because, toots, that ain’t off the record.

        God, so dumb, this Donkey Julia Allison.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Any guesses who this friend might be?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      “Without being authorized to do so?” Um, what? Julia Allison, you typed shit on your iPhone – you sent it out into the world. You get how that works? No one has to be authorized shit, once those messages from you pop up on their iPhone.

      Paul Carr, if you get back in bed with her, you are dumber and weaker than you appear.

      • Life is unfair says:

        Oh, bunnies.

        It’s just legalese. Texting and emailing aren’t “speaking.”

      • JFA Lache-lache Lache-lache Si-Lache Baelahnama’na says:

        She’s been pulling this shit forever. You aren’t authorized to use a photo of me taken in public! you aren’t authorized to publish my email! Get a fucking clue. Perhaps asks Dadsers how this stuff works. He’s essentially your lawyer.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Julia Allison did NOT “speak” to a Gawker journalist or editor!!
      (cuz it’s a safe bet that those folks decline to ever take her calls)

      She SPOKE to someone though, an “affiliate” such as a publisher or a photographer or a freelancer or a contributor, who conveyed Julia Allison’s unsolicited, self-serving bid-for-attention cuntribution to highly-publicized drama, which bought her a “text exchange” w/ a person or persons in those aforementioned positions.

      LOL, Paultato Head, you bloomin’ idiot …
      Legalese = Donkinese, doncha know by now?

      But you’re technically right …
      No publisher nor editor ears were harmed in the making of:
      JULIA ALLISON FUCKS OVER A FORMER SISTER
      SPRING 2013 EDITION

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Clarifying Tatter Tot: “she did not at any time speak to a Gawker journalist or editor.”

      Gawker: “Below is a screengrab of a text-message conversation reporter Adrian Chen had with Allison.”

      [img]http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/images/07-minister.jpg[/img]

  45. Silver Cape La Phlegm says:

    From a truly fucktarded princess:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison 5m
    Does anyone know if there’s a way to safely lend your car for $ for a month or so while you are traveling? Isn’t there a startup doing this?

    Things that make you go hmmm…I may be a very stupid and fat person not accustomed to the ways of the world like Julesies but pretty sure your car insurance wouldn’t cover some rando borrowing your car. And pretty sure you have to have car insurance to get a lease. And pretty sure that someone on this site mentioned that she must have gotten rid of her Mercedes status mobile. But she never reads here.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Pretty sure that sub-leasing a lease is a violation of said lease.

      No it’s not, I’m sorry! Knock yourself out, D0nkey! Seriously.
      It’ll be alright, what could possibly go wrong that Dad$er can’t buy you of?

      • Silver Cape La Phlegm says:

        Some FlightCar company responded to her – I looked on their website and it sounds super sketch and as a car owner you only get $10 a day (in my understanding of perusing the site/sight/cite for a whole 20 seconds). She is Desperado in Debt Donkey if she is advertising renting her car to strangers.

        • Grammarian says:

          renting her leased car to strangers ftfy

        • Delurked says:

          I also love how in the FAQs, their answer to the “is this legal?” question is “we’re not aware of any law that says it’s ILLEGAL, so…”

          Oh okay, sure! Sounds great, here, take my keys!

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            In the q and a on relay rides I found this: “I have already rented my leased car out for the day without ever looking at my leasing agreement. I was just about to approve a week rental but checked my leasing agreement and it says it is not permitted. I now have to remove my car from this site. Make sure to check your leasing agreement!”

          • Pilot says:

            Dying. These people deserve each other.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      But it’s not her car to lend.

      • Silver Cape La Phlegm says:

        Exactly. I leased a car several years ago and when I moved states, getting it registered and getting plates was a total clusterfuck since I wasn’t the owner. I’m sure her parents are covering the car note. This deviant would rent that car every day if she had to and then boast that she doesn’t have any carbon footprint while furiously counting out her single dollar bills.

      • Norse Horse says:

        I’m broke-ass myself, but I don’t pretend otherwise.

        This is a one broke-ass Donkey here. Scrounging for cash. I’m sure Europe and San Francisco will go swimmingly for her broke raft-ass.

        Cassé! (Breaking sound.) She and Deborah are going to eat each other alive.

    • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      “Does anyone know…” that the next words out of her mouth are always about how everyone can pay her for the use of her stuff? Is she looking for the Airbnb of the car world? People who travel have points and can rent cars with nav, sat, for like $30 a day. She is so so dumb and uneducated in the ways the real world ‘works’.

      • For serious?? says:

        This!!!!!!

        The Answer to her query is no, no way, uh-uh or you’re fucking kidding me, right?

        We all know that answer because we’ve all dealt with car rentals, car purchases or leases, auto insurance and registration, moving van rentals or parking/speeding tickets as fully functioning adults.

        Ergo, we’ve learned that contracts, payment agreements, speed and parking zones, leases, and state laws actually state their cases pretty clearly. All the information is available to you, fucking stunted donkey.

        She has no idea how the real world functions. Also, does not understand the google

      • Albie Quirky says:

        There are programs like Airbnb for cars. Getaround.com and Relayrides.com are two that exist. Can she only self-Google?

        • Lines with a Line Cook (formerly) Blowjobs by Bravo says:

          Whaaat? You can google something other than the follies of Julia Allison? Shut your mouth. Google was invented for JA only.

        • Smooshed Macaroons says:

          Silly girl (boy?), she’s such a special snowflake that Twitter is her own personal Google + (free!)Task Rabbit.

    • Tingolayo says:

      One of the nice things about having this j-o-b of mine is that I can go on (paid) vacation, leave my car keys on the kitchen counter, tell the pet-sitter, “I left my car keys in case you need the move the car, like if the garage floods or something,” and return home 3 weeks later to find my car in the same place.

      I don’t have to rent out my bed to strangers, either.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

        Yes, my favorite part of the most recent Gawker piece is Julia Allison lying about what a huge success she is AND YET she needs to rent out a room in her apartment in air bnb b/c truthfully, she has no job and can’t afford to pay her rent.

        When you are desperate to rent your car out for ten dollars a day, all I can say is, “Ohhhhhhh, honey.”

    • Dances with Hooves says:

      “It’s just so frustrating having something you only use SOMETIMES, but you don’t want to RENT a car because that is inconvenient and expensive … and public transit isn’t an option all the time. I know we will eventually fix this problem, but in the meantime it’s so wasteful!”

      One more fucking problem “we” need to fix.

      • Dances with Hooves says:

        p.s. Give me your money to use my shit when I’m not using it. Brilliant.

        Hell, forget paying for a babysitter, I should charge people to watch my kids.. you can bring them to social events or whatnot. They’re cute and sometimes I have better things to do than be their mom. Which is completely untrue and I’m laughing at the very thought of being such a douche. But don’t even act like she wouldn’t think that’s an awesome idea.

        • Pilot says:

          Dying of lulz, kitty on my lap freaking out.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Maybe she’ll rent us one of the beat up Chanel bags, moldy prom dresses or those giant neck chandeliers she wears. “Rent the Donkway.”

      • Norse Horse says:

        Also? In all her time in Marina Del Bray, when the fuck has she ever actually gone anywhere else in greater LA?

        We all know she’s profoundly incurious and stupid wherever she is, but there’s no evidence she ever got off the fucking couch, nothing to suggest she ever actually checked out LA, a vast and diverse and sprawling city. Bizarre how she allegedly loves LA, but never ever seems to have ventured out there. Crap filmed scenes for her show don’t count.

  46. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Hilarious for any number of reasons:

    @JuliaAllison: To this day, “Friendship, Benevolence & Love” was the most meaningful & lasting class I took in my entire college experience.
    4:38 PM – 20 Apr 13

    …including the fact that it was taught at Indiana:
    http://www.indiana.edu/~relstud/faculty/stalnaker.shtml

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