I feel really, really stupid. All this time I have thought of Julia as kind of dim-witted and narrow-minded. Intellectually incurious. Like a female George W. Bush. Sometimes I would read her “articles” or whatever and think, man, that sounds so undergraduate English class to me. She’s like one of those people who wants to be considered a “writer” but doesn’t actually like writing or reading.
I could not be more wrong.
According to her Twitter she is reading “Sex at Dawn”, one of the most talked-about “idea” books of a couple years ago. It blends anthropology and modern sociology to reinforce a theory that primal sexual urges have been twisted and locked down by modern society, but that they assert themselves nonetheless. Often in our subconscious!
She’s also reading “A brief History of Time”! The book by the famed physicist and thinker Stephen Hawking! That wheelchair smarty-pants guy with the Speak and Spell voice thingie! Loooove him! I know a lot of people are “familiar” with that book. But not too many people actually READ it. It’s more talked about than read.
But Julia’s reading it!
She’s also reading “The Education of Millionaires”, by the not-at-all-sweaty-and-pervy-looking Michael Ellsberg (totally sane, too, by the way), and “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by that guy Deepak Chopra. Your weird aunt’s “favorite (real “only”) philosopher. He’s Indian or something! How exotic!
Plus a few more books I never heard of but that sound wicked brainy.
But the real crazy thing is how she’s reading them ALL at the same time. Simultaneously. She is literally reading nine books at once. Nine.
She’s not assembling a batting order. She’s not reading one at a time, back to back. This isn’t like a reading list. Like YOUR reading list. Like: I’ll get to that one as soon as I finish this one. This woman’s brain is so fucking hungry for knowledge, and knowledge RIGHT NOW, that she cannot wait to finish one book and start another. She grabs nine books and just starts devouring them all at once. Like a starving man suddenly thrust in front of a full banquet table. Ravenous for wisdom! Reading! It’s like breathing to her. She can’t NOT do it. She doesn’t know why she does it or why she can’t stop. Better to ask the fish why he swims, or the wind why he blows.
Now I know what you’re thinking. These are the kind of books a certain type of person – maybe one concerned primarily with presentation and perception – might leave strewn about the house. Displayed prominently to give passers-through the impression the owner was a real intellect.
Not the case here.
These are right beside her bed. Stacked altogether, like a delicious stack of buckwheat pancakes for her pretty little head (because she’s reading them AT THE SAME TIME). I know this because she took a picture of them and posted it on her Twitter. Sure, some people might say that’s even more craven than just tossing them on the coffee table – I mean, only visitors to her house would see that. Now, everyone on Twitter can see her impressive literary buffet.
Tsk, tsk. You are so cynical, some people. So jaded. If we can’t believe what we see and read on Julia Allison’s Twitter, what can we believe?
*slow clap while backing away*
I’m guessing this is her “deeply intellectual” persona, showing up in an attempt to impress Modern-Day Aristotle…and eventually OBO Devin. #Sadz4Strangles
Also bitch? Soda is not an “atrocity”. The battle of Wounded Knee was an atrocity.
Her face is.
What a total joke.
Sorry to go completely off topic, but in my defense, the juxtaposition of Donkey and book learnin’ is causing a momentary psychotic break.
What ever happened to Pointy a.k.a. Meghan? I always kind of liked her.
I keep getting very dark, gossipy tips about Meghan. If you can decipher these, they’re all yours:
startup no more. CEO fired her. also, Mayo got dismissed from CBS due to the lowest grades in her (EMBA!) class and just returned back on academic probation.. she is now exploring her “me” time to appeal back into school.
fallback:
https://vimeo.com/47715516
although…
think she got fired from QVC as well.
—
http://livingthere.com/sale/328622-250-Mercer-Street-C318
Megatard puts her apartment up for sale in NYC… a nice cash out when she had nothing to do with the purchase,, Looks like her recent firing/joblessness/dismissal from school will pay a nice sum, with no mortgage as a “stay away from me and my wife,” I am sorry I got bro relatipnship” payment …. Why are these women handed EVERYTHING?
she got into a conflict with her partner Melissa Thompson, with whom she started “TalkSession,” and was fired. She was shilling for QVC but apparently got fired there too. Guess she also sucked at her EMBA course.
Selling her condo is a new development… worrisome?!
Do you guys remember Meghan during the “live-chat” with Mary and JA? As dumb as she is, you could see the wheels turning as she scrolled through the “viewer questions” (many of which were in spanish).
She stopped posting pretty damn soon after that.
“stay away from me and my wife,” I am sorry I got bro relatipnship” payment
What the hell does this even mean? Is this some sort of dig about her being a home wrecker/stalker?
That’s what I don’t get. Sounds like she was banging/harassing some chick’s husband.
at first when i read all this, i felt bad for her – like, why does she have to have her stuff all dragged out on this page when she hasn’t done anything with Julia (at least publicly) in years? (no offense to you Jacy, I just genuinely felt bad). and then i saw that fox news clip, and i was like, oh, god. this girl seems to get so much shit handed to her on so little ability. she’s gorgeous, and i have to give her credit for never getting as bitchy as Julia and Mary did when they were all sisters. but honestly. it’s ridiculous.
yes from a former sugar who ruined my marriage and life.
she is just really, really dumb.
Huh. For the sake of argument, let’s say I were a rich, handsome NYC Wall Street guy, posting here via proxy, who was aware of Meghan through a one-off unfortunate interaction with Donkey. And if I were to run into her, would probably ask her out.
This (unsubstantiated) gossip puts a damper on her charming goofiness. Getting dismissed from an EMBA is truly a sign of extreme flakiness/laziness/whatever you want to call it. I wouldn’t even say stupidity because the EMBA’s are genuinely a joke as long as you show up.
I guess Julia really does ruin everyone she comes into contact with unless they escape within a couple of months like McCain.
Or maybe trainwrecks attract trainwrecks.
exactly. telling you. they are all dark, dark, screwed up people.
Jesus Christ. She always seemed like a class A moron but this is beyond. I can’t with these stupid bitches.
Could these come from Julia? I certainly wouldn’t put it past her and she’d be sick enough to be hoping that another ex-sister’s failings will detract from her own unstoppable descent into the sewage of wannabees.
I was kinda thinking that. She is certainly not above that kind of behavior.
Co-sign. Those tips sound like they’re coming from someone with an axe to grind who isn’t above exaggerating the facts.
Remember when Jordan left Nonsociety and Julia spread rumors that she stole a whole bunch of money from the business (as if!)? I wouldn’t be surprised if she di the same type of thing to someone else, especially since she has been so rageful lately.
$700k for what looks like one mid-sized room? You New Yorkers are cray cray.
It’s like a 700 sq. ft. loft in the heart of the West Village with a doorman bla bla. Really not that bad IMO. And not like she paid for it herself so what does she care.
Central Village, not West Village. Close to NYU.
Meh I was too lazy to look. I think I actually meant soho.
Definitely not SoHo. I live a few blocks from her now, so I know what it is and what it’s not.
Oh I believe you. I meant more that I didn’t really care to look.
OK, because I know that Megtard likes to pretend she lives in SoHo, but that would require living *south* of Houston St. Technically, she lives in what real estate douchebags have dubbed NoHo.
@Kraft Cheesy – we’re likely neighbors, I live right near there, too (close to Arturo’s Pizza).
I’m a little north of Megtard, and I’m not familiar with Arturo’s — I moved to this ‘hood less than a year ago.
And slightly east. Depending on who you ask (Post Office, Con Ed, newspapers), I’m either in the Village or the East Village.
Ah, we’re in opposite directions, then, but still close-ish. Arturo’s is an old-school joint, one of the remaining Village relics that hasn’t been turned into a Pinkberry (yet). I have the same issue with the precise name of the ‘hood, but I normally just say the Village and be done with it. I’d like to suggest simply ‘Ho but I don’t know if the neighbors would be cool with that.
I wonder how many other cat ladies are in the area. Maybe when the whether is warmer, we can have a cat lady summit at one of the remaining Village relics?
A meet-up would be fun! There must be a few local cat-peeps we could muster…
No offense to the awesome Neferteeti, but as a native New Yorker, “Central Village” is an absolutely new thing to me. I’ve literally never heard that term before. Ideas about where the West Village ends and the East Village begins vary; Broadway is the general consensus.
But it’s all variable and changes, so my being out of it doesn’t mean I’m contradicting. It wasn’t til the 70′s that the Lower East Side parallel to Greenwich Village was called the “East Village”. And GV suddenly called the West Village. I suppose it’s all real estate marketing; the EV has a very different history from the WV. I’m not sure anyone but NYU students and grads can get behind “Central Village”, but things change, and what do I know.
I lived near Washington Square Park for 8 years (now Brooklyn). I know what you mean. The “Central Village” is synonymous with “Greenwich Village” and describes the sliver of real estate between East and West. It never really took off as a moniker b.c. it’s sandwiched between two better branded neighborhoods. But nonetheless, it exists to depict the neighborhood around NYU. Basically the “West Village” starts west of Ave of Americas, and “East” is east of Broadway. Think about all that stuff above the Park on either side of Fifth Ave. Swanky buildings up to Union Square, the townhouse the Weathermen blew up, the New School, the Beat Generation scene on MacDougal Street, where Dylan got his start. All of that is “Greenwich Village” or “Central Village.”
I used to live In “Central Village” and never called it that.
Good grief, I was just using “Central Village” as a description for that part of the Village that doesn’t fall into West Village or East Village. And as another native New Yorker here, I find it puzzling and amusing that some people refer to everything on the west side of Fifth Avenue as “West Village” and all on the east side of it as “East Village.” It’s as if “Greenwich Village” doesn’t exist.
I give up. You can have your one-upping all to yourself.
Ack! That comes off a bit more cranky than intended, but I’ve been dealing with the repercussions of just now realizing that a former friend is very Donkey-like in certain ways. I’ve only started to discover how she’s fucked me over and it’s making for a less pleasant me these days.
And, yes, one of her hobbies is one-upping every fucking thing.
Sorry. I guess I did sound ..whatever there. I didn’t know it was your own description, I thought that was a Thing now. I didn’t mean to offend you and one-upping wasn’t the intent at all. Just musing about how descriptions of neighborhoods and boundaries change. Didn’t mean to come off as bossy, I apologize.
At the end of the day…not once did she mention the name of the scanner. I want one, too! Anybody have any tips on where I can get one at a cut-rate price but not cut-rate quality?
It gets horrible reviews. Google portable scanner qvc and cross reference it.
https://streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/85506-coop-250-mercer-street-greenwich-village-new-york
Looks like her apartment was listed and then taken off the market. Same thing a few years ago.
Hmm, you don’t say. That’s not been mentioned before.
But what of her caulk?
DYING.
Worrisome Pelts, asking the important questions.
this may be time-change/work-craziness delirium speaking, but someone please make an embroidered pillow that says “but what of her caulk?” for me. i’ll pay tens!
i’m serious about the plea/paying.
She sells scarves made out of Executive MBAs or something. Every time someone starts talking about her, my yawn reflex goes into overdrive and I have to fight the urge to photograph donkeys in bathtubs.
She’s getting the band back together. Pointer Sisters World Tour 2013!
Once upon a time, didn’t a commenter used to call Meghan, Puerto Rican? (The joke being us white folks are easily confused by minorities)
That was El Flatface, tambien.
And so the circle of life…or insult. It is good.
Her reel sucks: http://vimeo.com/45081625
wow, that is really bad. for a “tech blogger”, that’s the best she could do?? the quality of the video clips looks like something from my dad’s video camera circa 1988. not to mention none of the things she says in any of the clips make her sound like any sort of tech expert, besides the fact that she bought apple stock when it was low. good for you *eye roll*
Meghan’s reel suck much less than Julia’s, though.. She just never annoyed me near as much.
And I remember Julia in an interview talking about how she would call Meghan, while she was at work (at an actual job), and make fun of her for it. Donk said she would tell her “Guess where I am? I’m `at large’” (referring to her only doing 5 minutes of work each day as a talking head on Fox, blabbering on about Britney Spears).
Donk ruined that poor girl’s life and sucked the work ethic right out of her..
eh I dont think Donk ruined her life — she doesn’t have that much power.
that girl has NEVER had a job for more than a few months. she worked for two investment firms, c/o daddycakes’ connections… all lasting less than a year. Wittenberg (her “neighbor” on Mercer St), and Galleon (for the record books). NS (self-exp), Leather scarves (fail), new startup (fired), Columbia (fired), QVC (fired). My friend works at QVC and ran into Mega last summer. Said she was thin as a rail, and spoke of all of the media training she got for that QVC job.
the greatness of that fauxto is that everything was already over
The greatness of that photo is that just before the picture was snapped she was reading the books on the shelves behind her.
All of them.
At the same time.
She can’t NOT read!
all.the.time.
She loves books a little too much maybe …
…and not just lately! Since she was a little girl. It’s just her thing!
you are a gem, flatface. This entry is bringing me so much post-desk errands joy.
This series of photos make me so happy in my heart.
Library schmibrary.
This pic is from her appearance at the Irish Embassy ball.
She went as “The Troubles.”
“The Great Potato-Knee Famine”
^ I think Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon won the internet today!
“They’re after me fucky charms!”
The best thing about Donkey’s manic twitter episodes? It brings ALL the Cat Ladies to the yard.
Flatface, you are a national treasure.
Sheer wonderfulness.
LOL LOL Ummmm… ooops?
Of course, I remember approximately 3% of everything I learned. Which is a pretty bad return on my dad’s investment, but … um … memory was never my strong suit. Christ, I can barely remember the plot of the last book I read, let alone shit I studied four years ago. Oops?
posted in previous post, but works here too
Actually seemingly in her old blergh she tried way, way less hard to prove how OMG SMART she was. But that was like, 75 identities ago. She has to make up for the lost looks somehow.
It seems like her schtick then was “I’m so hot, I don’t need to be smart!”
Quite the contrary. The 3% thing was a humble brag. She clearly doesn’t believe it, was playing at false modesty, and the 3% thing translates – in Donkey brain – to: “I am going demure how I only remember a little bit (actually, I pleasure myself over these constantly to affirm how I smart I think I am) but look at how dauntingly brilliant I was in this aaaammmmaaazing paper on Kunt! Now tell me how brilliant I am, darling bunnies! Oh, wow, look! Reader mail.”
It’s all fake, but at least when she was on her “hee hee, I’m not very smart, but look at my boobs!” tip she seemed marginally more likable.
“Plot?” But she doesn’t read fiction anymore (having devoured all the great works in her youth.)
wasn’t she “deeply shocked” when reading “fifty shades”?
potty mouth then, too; also the unfunny and uncharming um, oops
I still think this girl has undiagnosed adult ADD. Textbook – child from a high-achieving academic family, supposedly high potential that she can never quite realize, the inability to follow through past the first chapter of a book, the lack of memory, the posturing for what she thinks she’s “supposed” to be and the lies……
Eh, don’t give Julia ideas…. She’d totally embrace being the ADD poster child and never shut up about it.
(I don’t think she has ADD. A lazy NPD sociopath yes.)
I have AD/HD and have thought this many times. Then, a bug!
Holy shit. I think I have ADD. I never thought about it.
I have little doubt she has ADD but I also think she’s just not much more than marginally intelligent.
Highly ADD myself, and sometimes the sort of “background” things she does are so similar to things I’ve done that I slink off into the corner and douse myself with ointment while having a good cry.
But here’s the difference: I do it by mistake, and then feel HORRIBLE about it, apologize profusely and then feel horrible some more. She does it on purpose, then defends it (while somehow, simultaneously blaming somebody else), and then defends it again – louder.
So I ll say this. She may very well have ADD. But that’s not ALL the has. There are at least 2 other conditions happening here. There just have to be.
Co-sign here, jellyroll. ADDers can very much be a “forgive them, they know not what they do” sort, which is actually pretty literal because it’s about brain function (or lack thereof). There’s just so much to it and it isn’t something particularly fun; it tends to complicate things.
Now a person like JA can very well have ADD – she exhibits a lot of the traits – but she can also have co-morbidities out the wazoo, including (and certainly not limited to) a personality disorder, etc. The two (or however many) things existing all at once can create one hell of a monster, as we’ve seen.
A major part of the management of ADD in addition to meds involves lifestyle changes related to sleep, stress management, nutrition and exercise. Then there’s the almost mandatory development of a routine and system of self-organization. It’s a challenge, and sometimes all it takes is one of these things being out of wack to completely take ADD tendencies to their maximum level.
Seeing as donkers neglects just about all of these things almost daily while also clearly having some major rage/emotional (crying all the time) issues, her psychotic moments don’t surprise me. I’m guessing are at their absolute worst when she has 3.5 sips because the results is due to the lack of her usual narrative-constructing filter. Enter donkey hosebeast. Most people would be mortified, apologetic, probably swear off the devil’s sauce as a result. If you have a personality disorder to boot like BP, NPD, or plain sociopathy, it just “wasn’t your finest moment”.
Now see, once I post this I’m sure I’ll just have written an essay… one benefit of ADD hyperfocus; it’s really more an issue of selective attention and sleepiness of the brain during boring activities. Then again, I also have 157 tabs open, so there’s that.
ss,sf, so typo-loaded.. but in my defense, there has been the pot involved.
flatface, you have shown me the error of my ways. Here I thought she was an intellectual lightweight, but this is what 146 pounds looks like!
Just in case you needed to feel worse about yourself, Michael Eisenberg is selling his bachelor pad in LA for a mere $4M
http://www.redfin.com/CA/Los-Angeles/Undisclosed-address-90046/home/7116399
even more pics here http://www.1850stanley.com/
Holy shit, I read that as Michael Ellsberg, and actually did feel bad.
Then I thought you meant Jesse Eisenberg, and was like, nice place.
But who is Michael Eisenberg?
someone needs to give me some stern, serious side eye bitchface
“OPEN FLOOR PLAN WITH ENTERTAINERS KITCHEN AND BAR, A FREE FORM STAIRCASE TO PRINCIPAL BEDROOMS WITH PRIVATE IN GROUND SPA, A DETACHED GUEST UNIT WITH BATH THAT DOUBLES AS A MEDIA ROOM. VERY PRIVATE FOR YOUR MOST DISCRIMINATING CLIENTS.”
I’m not quite sure how important it is to me that my principal bedrooms be very private for my most discriminating clients. Perhaps this is because I do not actually charge for sex.
Hippie.
I always have to have entertainers in my kitchen and bar area, I make them dance like clowns, they amuse me. But they never stop bitching about their dressing- toilet and the tough crowd, which is me.
Creepy as the guy is, his house is beautiful.
Pretty sure Michael Eisenberg is the realtor selling that property.
Rather than the owner, I mean. Also, why would we care if he was the owner (and why would it be his “bachelor pad” since he’s apparently been married forever)?
Deeply confused, maybe it’s biology.
2shay
oh my, I’m an idiot! The person who posted that is a ~in real life~ friend of michael ELLSBERG so I just assumed; I did NOT do my homework!!!! I got so excited that I perpetuated a rumor!
sorry about that (slinking off); sssf x infinity
Oh! Didn’t mean to be snarky there. Conflating two Michael E-bergs at this point in the evening is perfectly understandable.
outdoor space is nice; nothing indoors looks comfortable.
but, to keep it relevant, yo, Ellsberg did just post on the evils of sugar
http://www.ellsberg.com/junk-food-consciousness
“But here’s the deeper problem. The fact that we already have a culture in which it is viewed as normal and acceptable to intake that much refined sugar in one sitting or day–and that the majority of people in our world now view that as normal (whether by soda or corn syrup in food or whatever)–already puts us all into the zone of true collective cultural insanity.”
Gross greasy sex gargoyle feels superior about not drinking soda, fuck that noise.
I’m certainly not going to argue that HFCS is good for people, but this shit is all about shaming the poors. “We” don’t drink icky SODA! “We” have lattes and ButtPrintCleanses (replete with sugar, but who’s counting?)
EXACTLY THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Butt Print has triple the amount of sugar as a can of Coke and your body does not read that shit as refined, unrefined. It just brings it to your ass so stop acting superior, Donkey!
Sorry, I underestimated… BP has as much sugar as a can of Coke AND YOU’RE REQUIRED TO DRINK 4 A DAY.
Get bent, Donkey.
i still can’t believe that shit has no fiber in it – what did they do: pulp the organic fruit and throw away all the good bits?
Her shaming of the poors is what pissing me off. She thinks she has so much influence, THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YOU LAZY DONKEY.
Raging on Twitter does not to “solve the problem,” Donkey, it’s just an epic time waster like your life.
I think her attitudes toward the poor are shameful at best. During her last sugar rampage, the way she talked about people who use food stamps made me ill. She is an elitist, out of touch, hateful person.
But like you said, what is she doing about the problem she perceives? If she is truly as outraged about soda as she claims, why doesn’t she act? I her racist tv comments, she was so snide about people just writing letters and not “fixing the problem.” In that case, her idea of the problem was a racist stereotype. But the point remains, if soda is such a huge scourge on our society why doesn’t she “do something” and “fix it” rather than tweeting about it in between humblebrags about her bookshelf and proclamations about The Bachelor? She is such a lazy, idiotic lowlife.
I WAS JUST COMING TO SAY, I’m sure the poors love being lectured to by insane griftery white upper middle class trustafarians. STFU.
If I didn’t love “yoo hoo” so much, I would totally take Gross Greasy Sex Gargoyle for a username.
We discussed an explanation for this on an econ message board I comment on. And I think you’ll see it in the NY Times comment sections on similar articles. The explanation has to do with HFCS being absurdly cheap because we subsidize corn. Much of that corn is turned into ethanol (terrible use, very inefficient) and most of the rest is turned into HFCS and livestock feed, making both HFCS and meat absurdly cheap – far cheaper than their price would be in a market free of distortion.
The largest beneficiaries of these subsidies are major landowners (farm land for purchase or lease is much more expensive than it should be) and Big Ag. So it’s really good old fashioned crony capitalism and greed that lead to our diet epidemic in the U.S. Sugar consumption by children and the poor are predictable side effects. Although I think Bloomberg does want to help the situation, you have to wonder why he hasn’t crusaded against Big Ag either instead of or alongside his effort to ban large serving sizes of soft drinks.
Really, when you scratch the surface, isn’t it always that — good old-fashioned crony capitalism and greed? Same goes for guns. The NRA is representing gun manufacturers while pretending to defend the 2nd Amendment and the gun manufacturers make gazillions from gun-obsessed Americans. Not trying to start any big political argument, but every social ill/problem/epidemic in this country usually comes down to someone, somewhere, making serious money from it.
i agree and i think the soda laws are bloomberg’s practical realization that you can never stop big ag so try to change behavior instead
[Before anyone starts screaming, I favor green energy research and implementation. Calm down, Kevin.]
Same for green energy, Jacy. When you get past the people who have an obvious interest in distorting research and diverting funds, you find that the government and the “good guys” can be just as bad.
Who wants to fast track promising technologies when you can steer a grant to your wife’s nephew’s roommate’s startup that your family just *happens* to have an investment in? Bonus points if the company never produces anything or produces something overseas that doesn’t function.
Green energy is not an open and free competion, I agree 100%. Anyone who wants confirmation only needs to sit down with SolarCity and look into the fine print and do some research. The most green things we could do as a nation would be stop subsidizing the purchase of large, far-flung houses (via Mortgage Interest Deduction, the Fed’s zero interest rate policy to encourage lending, and a ~$760k limit on conforming loans purchased by GSEs) and refocusing the money on urban redevelopment, meaningful public transit, and energy conservation (as opposed to green energy). Energy not used at all is a 100% reduction, whereas it takes an incredible amount of energy and rare earths to create solar panels, wind turbines, etc.
When you get past the people who have an obvious interest in distorting research and diverting funds, you find that the government and the “good guys” can be just as bad.
So many scenarios; so applicable.
Take the FDA & Big Pharma, for instance … hence medical tourism to get adult stem cell transplants for people seeking effective treatment rather as opposed to a lifetime of expensive medicine maintenance.
eff my proofreading skillz!
‘rather than’ OR ‘as opposed to’
Nice bloated deep face, Jackles. Lernin dem berks at de laarbarry!
I wanna know who did her make-up …
Suppose the artist is still in business?
Might I find him or her on Facebook?
skirt pull to the max.
Christ, I didn’t even notice the epic skirt pull. Blinded by stupidity.
… with a long skirt. What’s the point? She’s such a robot of fail.
Skirt pull is to make waist look smaller.
I will probably never type these words again, but Julie needed more makeup in those pictures. The dress color (bright) washes her out; she needed stronger eye makeup and a more vivid lip color.
Or, you know, not to do the ridiculous vanity shoot at all, that would have worked too.
OH MY GOD
Is she truly brain-dead? Truly?
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
I hope this ratings high season of #TheBachelor inspires ABC producers to feature more decent, kind, genuine, commitment-minded human beings
That’s a rhetorical question, right?
I was just composing a long rant that included this Tweet, but I get the impression that a) somehow she thinks she can get into Sean Lowe’s virginal pants, and b) that something is rotten in the state of Devin. She was just going on about an OMGBOOK about how monogamy is unnatural or something, and now she’s extolling the virtues of “commitment-minded human beings.” Paired with that bizarro friends zone text that made it seem like they are living separate lives I think something is up. And it’s not micro peen.
I actually read it as her acting smugly superior because didn’t ya know she has the most perfect boyfriend ever now? She’s in a serious committed relationship, in case her 1200 tweets, FB status, and written articles about it didn’t clue you in. She has a boyfriend now. They are madly in love, and serious.
Oh, true, I didn’t consider that angle. Perhaps I am just hoping for a dramatic meltdown – although I do still think there is something seriously off in that relationship (I mean, more so than the average Donks relationship).
There is something off because they are both jobless lunatics.
The primary reason Mulia is kissing ABC ass is because she and d-bag Shira Lazar are hosting LA Dream Date next month, in which many of the “celebrities”–I didn’t recognize a single name–being auctioned off did time on The Bachelor. So transparent, our delicious donkey!
I think she must actually think herself to be decent, kind and genuine too. Despite the trail of burned bridges, broken friendships and OBOs she leaves in her wake. The disconnect between who she thinks she is and the reality of her life and actions is astounding. Worrisome, even.
Of course! And if you’d just take the time to get to know her, you’d simply adore her!
Except that she smells like mold and pee.
That’s what the ten people in America said after watching Miss Assvice, you shit head.
La Donks they are all wanna be somebodies like you on this show. Most want to be actors like everyone on any reality show (ahem).
Okay, three things on Twitter that are currently giving me the brayge (well, one thing giving me brayge, the other two I just want to point out).
In order from least to most brayge:
* constantly Tweeting about how much she doesn’t care about missing SXSW I believe is inversely proportional to how much it’s killing her that she’s not there. Note: SXSW does not miss Julia Allison.
* this: “I hope this ratings high season of #TheBachelor inspires ABC producers to feature more decent, kind, genuine, commitment-minded human beings.” Beyond her newfound Bachelor obsession, is any one else getting the impression that Devin is trying to go for an open relationship (especially given her recent reading material)?
Finally, what is giving me the most BRAYGE of them all – her current Tweeting/talking about Sheryl Sandberg and acting as if she is some sort of authority on balancing work and family (HA!). Granted, it particularly irks me because after having my son I changed my work situation so I could work part-time from home and maximize my time with him before he’s in school forever. It’s not for everyone and I certainly understand people who try and get back into their previous career trajectory as quickly as possible, but I also dislike the implication that women who are willingly staying at home are somehow unfulfilled or incomplete (though I’m not disregarding the fact that it can leave a lot of women without their own identity, financial security, etc). In any case, it is to laugh that a Donkey who has no business ever procreating and already is shamefully neglecting a low maintenance dog is somehow now the expert on raising children while having a career.
No experience with procreating or having a career. Yeah, I want to know Julia’s thoughts on this hot button issue, stat.
Classic Donk-she lies to herself more than she does to everyone else-which is tough to imagine. She is bitter and dating a beard.
Yeah, she really acts like her presence is missed at SXSW and she only brings it up because her imaginary legion of fans in the ‘Stans demand an answer as to why such a powerful wummin in teck isn’t there. No one gives a shit, the Onion has been doing a series on the sorts of dreary fuckos who shouldn’t be there either.
I can’t even start to engage with whatever Donks thinks about the Sheryl Sandberg book. I can already guess exactly what it is. Tremendous self-identification with a stupendously accomplished person, and acting as if she can relate. Bishplz.
It really had to chap her ass that Bravo is live from there all this week and they’re having bravolebrities on, oh how donkey must be crying into her pink pillow.
I think part of it is that she’s already trying to justify having 10 nannies if someone is ever fool enough to knock her up. Good luck with outsourcing childcare for free.
I’m really trying to determine what she was going for with this picture, and what kinda insane dumb sham photographer took that shit. Did she think this was elegant or something? She looks ridiculous. Her pose is ridiculous, that dress is ridiculous. She just has no clue whatsoever.
She has a lot of semi-professional photos that fit into that “what was she going for” oeuvre. My only possible explanation is that it generally fits into what guy she’s dating or is trying to snare. In this case, I think she was trying to appear smart for a gentleman who favored the color green.
And the glazed porn star eyes that are in pretty much every fauxto of her. I will cry if I ever see those eyes on my little girl kitten. I don’t know how her parents sleep at night.
They’re lulled gently into slumber by the mythic power of their love.
Wait, I meant “pills” there.
Either fauxtographers, or earnest newbies willing to do gratis work because of the promise of getting some exposure (in other words, Donkey lies about her fame and the purpose of her fauxto shoots).
I hate her from that particular fauxto-shoot for standing her dirty hooves on a reading table at the NY Public Library. Presented as her personal palace or something. Batty bitch.
That still burns my ass too. How did she even get that location for a vanity shoot that was going nowhere?!?! So disrespectful…like NYC monuments are there simply to provide backdrop to her endless vanity. And yeah, get your goddamned feet off the reading tables!
The Mike and Molly CNN clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Knm8Y_PFE
“How do you bring the sacred into everyday life? Saying grace? Prayer, meditation? Gratitude journal? An altar? More creative ways?”
I hate her some days.
You start by buying me a soda.
Win. x
I make pear-shaped voodoo Donkeys stuffed with poop and wheat flour. When I poke them with pins labeled “misguided condescension” and “hilariously transparent posing,” it seems to produce the desired results.
Asshole.
Unsympathetic magic!
LOL!!! Who says a gratitude journal is sacred? And I’m sure she has no idea of what an altar is for. Greg forbid she discovers an article on Buddhism in a purty, flowery magazine at the checkstand in Whole Foods– she’ll Tweet quotations that she could never hope to understand.
There are no shortcuts or gimmicks in a spiritual practice, Donk. PS There are Catholics who go to Mass every.single.morning. Before noon. Imagine that, lazy ass.
I wish someone would tweet at her, “An altar, definitely. Forget the other things, you need an altar ASAP to live a truly spiritchal life. Restoration Hardware has some great ones.”
What a nutfuck.
Oh god, please make it stop.
Sati?
I have an idea – get the fuck off FB and twitter for roughly 12 hours a day at least, start from there, you dick.
I hope someone offers to just donate the money and refuse the date. She DOES know that she should get at least $1,700, which is what a good raping costs and she’d be inside anyway.
Is she just hosting or on the block as well? Has she pressed the learn button?
She and Shira will be emceeing, in a reprise of their scintillating dynamism and superb audience rapport when they shared a microphone at SXSW:
Ugh. This “discussion” is about as scintillating as a bag of hair. It is such nonsense with no substance at all.
Which I know Sacred Scrapbook hinted it would be but SHEESH!
So, as best as she can tell, the problems of “women on the internet” are comments on their appearance and their dating lives?? This is someone who’s career is about writing about her dating life and posting sexually suggestive photos of herself.
Such banal, superficial faux-feminism. Is that what all SXSW panels are like? Because, if so, what a colossal waste of time.
I never can understand this “women need to treat women nicely” mindset. You know what? Assholes come in male and female forms, and just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I can’t be dismissive of assholes of either sex. I’m not going to support a pretentious lazy worthless narcissist like Donkey just because we share the same number of chromosomes! Especially when she is so fucking hypocritical about the whole subject! Was she supportive of Rachel Zoe when she slagged her off that time? The bottom line is that she wants to be given a PASS for her bad behavior and her sole justification for that behavior is that women should support her and not be mean to her simply because she’s a woman.
You know what, Julia Allison? FUCK YOU. You are a miserable excuse for a human being, you prove it over and over again every single day, and I don’t freaking care who calls you out on it. You are a horrible person and I really wonder if you will ever pull yourself together in this lifetime. I seriously doubt it. Karma is already raining down on you like hellfire and this is only the start.
These conferences start off as worthwhile endeavors because they’re focused on legitimate participants/professionals. After a few years, all the large companies buy their way in and start to overrun the thing with fluff. At this point, the events are also professionally managed and staged by conference organizers – not people who originally founded the conference. A lot of money is changing hands and the thing is overrun and dilluted by increasingly douche-baggy types. The same thing has happened to TED in the last handful of years; TED might be the best example because at this point if you pay them a fee and follow some very loose criteria, you can host TEDx[any town] and line up any stupid as*holes you like to give presentations, all while piggybacking on the solid reputation of the original TED.
I’m surprised that JuLiar hasn’t spoken at any TED events. Messica Quirk spoke at TEDxBloomington so it has to be super easy to do.
As usual just talking about something that pertains to her – please stop hating me online! STFU. i’ll stop hating you when you stop acting like an asshole. She’ll never get it. What the fuck is “setting standards” anyway? Okay internet police for all the girls. She’s so dumb and irrelevant.
Aw, taking on the male dominated tech business and embracing the women in this industry! They did it for all the girls, helping to set back feminism a good 30 years in the process. Let’s clap for all the women. Yee-haw!
Why is her tongue ALWAYS out??? Nobody wants to see that. Nobody wants to see you in your underwear, either.
The first woman who stands up to blather is the idiot Julia did the “digital nomad” discussion with last year. The brunette woman in green (in background, looking around nervously) is Stephanie Agresta, one of the biggest sociopaths in social media — which is saying something. These bitches deserve to be treated poorly.
I couldn’t watch all of that, just- this Shira person and Donks introducing the topic of “Why women aren’t taken seriously on the Internet” while they’re both dressed like Russian prostitutes at a nightclub. Huh, maybe you’re the problem, you two right there.
I will never understand who the fuck told her that white eyeshadow from lid to brow was a good idea.
I am deeply confused about that as well …
And I daresay: TinyPic is deeply familiar w/ D0nkey & no one will ever convince me otherwise …
CAPTCHA = fast and loose
This also must be the height of her fatness, girlfriend’s face is bloated as hell. Her hair, her makeup, everything is just wrong.
Ironic for @JuliaAllison to snark that @aplusk “Ashton Kutcher has figured out Twitter”, when four years later, she herself is too ReRe to do a Google search to decide for herself where in Europe to visit & she’s the same bint who can’t even compile a list of her favorite restaurants w/out asking Twitter what her favorite restaurants are. Stupid much?
Hey D0nkey … you should treat Ashton Kutcher well too, Greg dammit! How do you know that this won’t affect his step-daughters, down the line or otherwise? Think of ALL THE GIRLS!
I believe that was her trying to nod and wink to all the “techies” in the audience because she was an “early adopter” of twitter, like anyone gives a crap. Wow, you realized a place to talk about you and you for 7 additional hours a day was somewhere you wanted to be, always with your finger on the pulse.
She ate all the brownies.
I can’t anymore.
Two girls and a mic.
don’t kitty-AK me if this has been posted
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viVYjQgw6Uc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Knm8Y_PFE
You need to read back a ways, because she followed up on this by insulting a spokesperson for the Navajo Nation on Twitter when he called her out on her racism. It was craytastic.
So rich to hear JuLiar Allison claim that she doesn’t respect Joe Flacco for winning the Super Bowl because she bases her respect for people off of “how good a person they are and how they treat others”. Haha. Yes, I bet Steve Bisciotti is having regrets now. “Hmmm, Joe won us the Super Bowl, but what really matters is: Can he burn sweet potatoes and deliver them to the poor like Chef Devin and A Donkey?”
Seriously, she looks deeply like shit. And manly.
Deeply J. Manly?
Her blinking and nodding is so distracting, my god.
Oh my god. This is the first time I’ve seen the clip. So much reacting. CALM DOWN JULIA.
I only got as far as her “fix the problem” comment and it did initially come across as some flubbed attempt at humor by somebody both unfunny and kind of dumb. That she continued to stand by it on Twitter, even when confronted by an actual Navajo, still shocks me. Who does she think she is?
The clip it played for me was one in which she derides whomever this football person is, for saying he deserves all that money. And she goes on about how that’s not how to judge a person, being kind is bla bla. What a fucktard. We all know you’ve been a prostitute attracted to rich men for years, quit frontin. She’s the worst. “Fuck you money” indeed.
She wants to ensure all eyes are constantly on only her.
She tries to mimic the fembots on Fox News and it’s fucking CREEPY.
I haven’t been on here in a bit -because I’ve been reading 9 books at 1 time and annotating in the margins takes time-I’m so twee and tiny and cute and nerdy.
Anyway, catching up on her latest cray has reminded me of one of my most embarrassing moments as a child. I once got everyone’s attention during class to show them some new trick I thought was so very cool. I like our lady of introspection thought I was just so cool and loved attention. I called out for everyone around me to “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” Just as I was about to show everyone in class my nifty trick, my body decides to be a real dick and lets out this loud ass fart. I was mortified. To this day I am still mortified, but it taught me a valuable lesson. Be careful what you wish for. I wanted attention and believe me I got it, but not for what I thought. I don’t need attention that badly.
The reason I thought of this is that she has done the same thing with her life; she has called out for everyone to look at her and just farted. Her life/career (everything) is just one big embarrassment that she forced everyone to watch.
I learned my lesson at 8 and she still hasn’t at 32.
Deeply truthful.
Also, probably the first fart story I’ve ever liked.
only fart story i’ve ever liked
http://buburuza.net/2009/07/dr-drobkin/
Dr. Drobkin was a world-famous cardiologist who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his home town and then left for Manhattan where he quickly rose to the top of his field.
Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference Coincidently held in his home town. He walked on stage, placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor. As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the lecture room and reverberated it down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his home town again.
Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Cohen and arrived under cover of darkness.
The desk clerk asked him, “Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Cohen?”
Dr. Drobkin replied, “Well, young man, no, it isn’t. I grew up here, received my education here, but then moved away.”
“Why haven’t you visited?” asked the desk clerk.
(P) Haine Chic
“Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I’ve been too ashamed to return.”
The clerk consoled him. “Sir, while I don’t have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn’t even remembered by others.. I bet that’s true of your incident too.”
Dr. Drobkin replied, “Son, I doubt that’s the case with my embarrassment.”
“Was it a long time ago?”
“Yes, many years.”
The clerk asked, “Was it before or after the Drobkin Fart?”
I know this has been referenced several times over the years. In a story about Hunter Moore, someone over at Gawker referenced the Hare PCL-R diagnostic tool for identifying psychopathy and listed the factors. It never ceases to amaze me how high Donkey would score if tested on this scale.
Here are the twenty traits that are assessed:
glib and superficial charm
grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
need for stimulation
pathological lying
cunning and manipulativeness
lack of remorse or guilt
shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)
callousness and lack of empathy
parasitic lifestyle
poor behavioral controls
sexual promiscuity
early behavior problems
lack of realistic long-term goals
impulsivity
irresponsibility
failure to accept responsibility for own actions
many short-term marital relationships
juvenile delinquency
revocation of conditional release
criminal versatility
Really interesting, Slip. The first seventeen are deeply, DEEPLY, Julia.
That’s a very interesting list, SfS. I wanted to post something similar from Eyes for Lies, which is a blog by “an expert in deception”. She wrote recently in a post about Jodi Arias:
“Psychopathic people tend to cross personal boundaries very quickly. They will fall “in love” almost overnight. They will commit themselves to a person very quickly. They will profess love for another way sooner than the average person and they will shower their object of affection with an abnormal amount of attention very quickly. They will tell you that you are the one long before most other people would do so naturally. Take heed!”
Pure speculation on my part, but I wonder if the recent manic cray is due to this (alleged) impending move to San Francisco and that it might be falling apart. I sense that Chef Girl R Dee wants to move there but Donkey is happy to stay in Marina Del Bray, thinking that LA is a better place for famewhores like her to find work.
First the move was supposed to happen April 1, then it was late May, now it’s “this summer.” I bet it never happens at all, or if it does, it’s just Debbie moving up there on his own.
This makes sense, but she’s been braying about moving to San Francisco for years. Maybe her interest waned when Randi Jayne HolyZuckHappenedToHerFace moved on to other methods of non-birthcray famewhoring. She has to know on some level that she would be even more thoroughly ignored in SF/SV than she is in LA.
She probably also got a rude wakeup call when she tried to atrophied muscle her way into the SF real estate market. I think those posts about finding a house she loved and looking for someone “very special” to share it with were part of her Secret wish manifestation baloney. (If those are the wrong terms, it is because I cannot locate the damn I otherwise give about getting things right.)
In summary: Asshole.
I’ve suspected from the begining that was what the “move” was really about. Why would the two jobless (and at least in Donkey’s case, intentionally and stubbornly determined to stay jobless) nutcases need two places in two different cities, one of them with over 16+ bedrooms no less? Most likely because one of the nutcases doesn’t want to be around the other nutcase too much, that’s why. And it’s probably the same nutless nutcase who sent the other nutcase to an OMG romantic nutcase-wash on OMG Valentine’s Day.
Yup. I’m guessing he’s in del Bray mostly when his place is airbnb’d, and that he needs lots of me (and Bobby McGee) time.
Remember the
brownchocolate sheets episode, where Donkey called it “moving in” and Debbie said it was more of a “soft move-in.” There are never any signs that a man lives at Marina del Bray, but how could you tell anyway?this photo just reminded me of the time she said she was a “muse” for the dress designer, gustavo cadile. i can’t be bothered to dig it up now, but i remember someone on her blog asked her what she meant by that and she responded “you’ll just have to wait and see!
”
…still waiting donks!
Can’t be bothered to look up the original tweets, but this related thread is hilarious:
http://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/02/19/a-clairee-belcher-would-say/#comment-140542
Donkey, when you are looking around at your life, baffled by why we are here making fun of you year after year and why the people in your life are so quick distance themselves from you, look no further than this:
juliaallison 9 minutes ago in reply to Nella_Fashion
Hahha well this isn’t exactly a “vanity” shoot – I am a muse for the designer Gustavo Cadille and I’ve always wanted to do an amazing collaboration with the photographer Jamie Beck. It’s about being creative – I love putting on shoots. We were making art!
We could spend hours and hours here at catperson central and fail to come up with a fake tweet as ridiculous and hysterical as this one that you actually wrote. A muse? Creative? Making art?
You are such an incredible buffoon.
And p.s., its Cadile, not Cadille, moron
He probably said, “I am amused by you.” As a way to get rid of her.
Ugh. I have many artist friends, my OMG BOYFRIEND is a filmmaker…trust me Donkey, real artists’ creative processes don’t look anything like this. Just sit down. There is nothing at all artistic about this, or anything she does. Or will ever do.
She just says buzzwords and that makes it true in her eyes. I’m an artist! And a founder/entrepreneur! I’m really spiritual and kind! None of these things are true but if I keep saying them, they are! I’m a journalist!
You mean you are around creative types and have never done photoshoots that you then post to your Facebook? I am deeply confused as to why you are nobody’s muse JFA. Oh wait, you’re not an insane narcissist with no job…that makes sense.
If you tell a lie enough times it becomes the truth, bunny.
Oh my god. The Gunne Sax 80′s prom dress, whore make-up, and photos that never saw the light of day.
Assuming Jamie Beck did in fact take photos of the Donkey, it must KILL her to have access to them – it was her big 30th birthday vanity shoot, as I recall. To this day I’m dying to know what went down and why we never saw the photos.
er, not to have access to them…
invisible segway, nevah forget, SSSF.
http://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/ohdear.jpg
*takes bow*
Breathtaking (in my worst imitation of James Lipton). What a work of art. She’s an inspiration and a genius. Generations of up and coming artists will herald the day she put on that dress, the mask of makeup, borrowed a gay man from somewhere, and this magic occurred. Slow clap.
She looks so rough there. Funny we never saw much posted from that fauxto-shoot.
Jacy, that’s one of the scariest photos of her of all time, which is saying a lot. She looks like a cross between a troll and something undead. I don’t even know WTF that is.
I can’t even adequately put into words just how bad she looks. Yes, almost corpse-like. With a bit of Delta Burke at 75.
Good Lord. A look to match her personality.
I wonder if the guy in the background is a douche or just unlucky that day.
That thar is teh face of a puff adder!
puff ad·der
Noun
A large, sluggish, mainly nocturnal African viper (Bitis arietans) that inflates the upper part of its body and hisses loudly in threat.
“To this day I’m dying to know what went down and why we never saw the photos.”
Oh em gee me too. I must say though, even the little we’ve seen and heard (from Darling Donkey’s very own braying, too!) is literally deeply amazing. So art on several levels.
I tried googling Jamie Beck and Julia Allison and this is what came up.
http://juliaallison.com/tag/photography/
WTF about being “reminiscent” of being pregnant?
The answer you’re looking for is “Donkey doesn’t know what words mean.”
D0nkey would have meant ‘convulsant’.
it was a reblog, the person who was reminiscing about being pregnant was lindsay campbell.
Ugh, SS, SF.
OMG, seriously, check out JA’s Facebook page right now……She’s posting about working in a nursing home and this guy has posted a super aggressive comment back to her….this is what the guy wrote (sorry I can’t do screen shots…):
Julia. Do you think nursing homes are going to approve you to “help” their members just because you and your friends think you are qualified?? What do you know about elder care? What do your moneyed, asshole friends know about poverty? Maybe these homes don’t need you and Jonathan Cheban, that simpering cunt. Did that ever occur to you? Unfriend me.
Is that a spiegelman on a bender comment?
Yep. It’s spiegelman, classic spiegelman. What I’d really like to know is who is this Jenny Parker McCloskey who liked the comment? She seems awesome. Also, this should be its own post. She’s such a jerk. “One family had a Mercedes?!” “How dare the poors have nice things.” Ugh. Go away, Donkey Allison.
Here is Jenny Parker Mccloskey: http://www.queenbeecommunications.com/about.htm.
I think she needs an invitation to the basement. Unless she is already here.
BEFORE D0NKEY DONKLETES THIS:
“I would love to bring my dog Lilly to seniors but I’m not quite sure how to do it other than cold calling random nursing homes (which is what I did today). That doesn’t give me a very accurate assessment of which home needs me the most.”
Which home(s) need her the most? Is she for real?
Knowing D0nkey, this is a calculated move for dog-sitting!
Totally re: the dog-sitting. That was my first thought.
The whole thrust of her complaint in that FB update is that the charity work she’s done hasn’t been fulfilling enough FOR HER. She says donating to Goodwill wasn’t “direct” enough for her, i.e., she didn’t get to see the poors SHE was SO GENEROUSLY helping with her used, filthy TopShop booties or whatever. And the people at the shelter (??) where she delivered the food weren’t so clearly destitute as to give her warm fuzzies about being such a super kind sweet person.
Here’s a tip, Donkey: Charity is not about you. It’s not about fulfilling you in any way, shape or form. Sometimes what organizations need most is not what will make the most fascinating or moving entry in your spiritual growth journal.
“Donkey: Charity is not about you.” Perfectly said. One could really reuse that phrase with pretty much anything concerning her. Donkey: _______ is not about you. *insert whatever she’s banging on about this week*