I feel really, really stupid. All this time I have thought of Julia as kind of dim-witted and narrow-minded. Intellectually incurious. Like a female George W. Bush. Sometimes I would read her “articles” or whatever and think, man, that sounds so undergraduate English class to me. She’s like one of those people who wants to be considered a “writer” but doesn’t actually like writing or reading.
I could not be more wrong.
According to her Twitter she is reading “Sex at Dawn”, one of the most talked-about “idea” books of a couple years ago. It blends anthropology and modern sociology to reinforce a theory that primal sexual urges have been twisted and locked down by modern society, but that they assert themselves nonetheless. Often in our subconscious!
She’s also reading “A brief History of Time”! The book by the famed physicist and thinker Stephen Hawking! That wheelchair smarty-pants guy with the Speak and Spell voice thingie! Loooove him! I know a lot of people are “familiar” with that book. But not too many people actually READ it. It’s more talked about than read.
But Julia’s reading it!
She’s also reading “The Education of Millionaires”, by the not-at-all-sweaty-and-pervy-looking Michael Ellsberg (totally sane, too, by the way), and “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by that guy Deepak Chopra. Your weird aunt’s “favorite (real “only”) philosopher. He’s Indian or something! How exotic!
Plus a few more books I never heard of but that sound wicked brainy.
But the real crazy thing is how she’s reading them ALL at the same time. Simultaneously. She is literally reading nine books at once. Nine.
She’s not assembling a batting order. She’s not reading one at a time, back to back. This isn’t like a reading list. Like YOUR reading list. Like: I’ll get to that one as soon as I finish this one. This woman’s brain is so fucking hungry for knowledge, and knowledge RIGHT NOW, that she cannot wait to finish one book and start another. She grabs nine books and just starts devouring them all at once. Like a starving man suddenly thrust in front of a full banquet table. Ravenous for wisdom! Reading! It’s like breathing to her. She can’t NOT do it. She doesn’t know why she does it or why she can’t stop. Better to ask the fish why he swims, or the wind why he blows.
Now I know what you’re thinking. These are the kind of books a certain type of person – maybe one concerned primarily with presentation and perception – might leave strewn about the house. Displayed prominently to give passers-through the impression the owner was a real intellect.
Not the case here.
These are right beside her bed. Stacked altogether, like a delicious stack of buckwheat pancakes for her pretty little head (because she’s reading them AT THE SAME TIME). I know this because she took a picture of them and posted it on her Twitter. Sure, some people might say that’s even more craven than just tossing them on the coffee table – I mean, only visitors to her house would see that. Now, everyone on Twitter can see her impressive literary buffet.
Tsk, tsk. You are so cynical, some people. So jaded. If we can’t believe what we see and read on Julia Allison’s Twitter, what can we believe?