I didn’t have my copy of Aristotle’s Ethics from college, so I just went to Amazon & it’s FREE! I love technology.
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Can I just go back to college please? Learning all day long with brilliant professors & friends, reading the classics, sitting on the lawn.
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I find it amusing that Aristotle argued the happiest & most virtuous life was that of a philosopher. Convenient … As he was a philosopher.
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And then there’s this, by the always entertaining modern day Aristotle, @JasonSilva: http://vimeo.com/38260970
Donkey, you don’t have to impress Devin Stetler. No one else wants him Bunny! Except maybe Raul, but once he gets a look at Devin’s micro peen, I’m sure he’ll give him right back to you!
I think she is trying to impress Jason Silva. I suspect he is the “Jason” she mentioned in the text to Debbie. Maybe she is ready to OBO Debbie?
Jason Silva dated Heather Gramham (or still dates) – he will never a Donkey.
This.
The Modesto Strangler has nothing to worry about. He may have a nanopeen, but no guy in his right mind would ever the Donkey at this point.
How Donkey WISHES!!!!
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Observer/Columnist/Columnists/2011/6/16/1308214661811/Last-supper-at-El-Bulli-007.jpg
SSSF.
My dream is to eat at El Bulli. Adam Patt of NY Mag did a long piece on that junket I seem to recall. HeatherGraham has made a career of junkets as of late, Julia coud take a page….
Er, Heather Gramahamlamadingdong has dated pretty much everybody at this point.
I actually think she’s cute and has talent, but in a C-list psycho girlfriend mudfight where she and Drew Barrymore were the only contestants, the thing that would lose would be the mud.
She could decide she wants to OBO with George Clooney, but nobody other than Debbie Seltzer is going to want her smelly raft ass.
Yes because by all accounts she was just a brilliant student. Totally fit in amongst America’s college elite. /eyeroll I still would love to know what her GPA was.
Or more specifically what her course work was – you can get a “decent” gpa by taking nothing but fluff classes.
If she had had a good GPA she’d be braying about it years later. I’m sure she tanked.
That’s true. For a second I forgot we’re talking about a person who brings up OMGDEBATECLUB in high school when she’s in her 30s
She published a paper once on her blergh or something that she wrote in college and it was just as awful as you would expect. She is a mental midget no matter what the fuck she says. I’ve said before, I will say again, to fall to get into a single prestigious school the first time around, coming from her family educational pedigree with all the advantages she’s had when CLEARLY she probably applied to them all, is really just a testament to how fucking dumb she really is. Must be hard to be from a family of overachievers and be a complete and utter moron.
Seriously, if any of you guys have not yet read her Kant paper, you need to. It is to vom.
I haven’t and I’d love to! Where can I giggle and vom all over the Kant paper, pls?
I think it might be on her old blog…I couldn’t find it after a few minutes of searching. Paging Prof. FC??
TA-DA!
http://blog.juliaallison.com/2007/04/college_term_papers.html
LOL, in the same fauxto, it looks like s d0nkey was playing w/ the stretching tool …
http://cheerheaven.tumblr.com/post/11403028578/ncaa-tourney-round-1-cheerleader-preview-6
I forgot about that blog. A treasure trove of idiocy. Some serious camel toe going here, with a bonus testicle purse!
I love her old blog. That was the height of her fameballism. It’s chock full of humblebrag and screenshots of her on Fox with very bad hair and party reports etc. She really thought she was hot shit. What a fucking asshole.
Holy shit, that paper. I just kant with it. So embarrassing.
As many of us know, she barely graduated university and only walked the runway (to the sound of one hand clapping) because of serious, constant monitoring by the dean’s office. Georgetown has the lowest attrition rate in the country and would like to keep it that way.
Also you can go back to school, ass. Specifically, grad school. Except they rejected you.
When I saw that face at the end of that statement, this played in my head as if on cue:
Haha. This is my fave price is right music though:
That little guy is the best!! This so reminds me of being sick as a kid and laying on the couch watching this show.
I HATE THIS GAME. I was on the show in college/lost. I get hives when I hear the music. Won a washer and dryer.
SmallTownFashionista just ovulated.
It’s a little late for Julia to be brushing up on ethics. I doubt she even cracked the book in college.
Julia Allison thinks the classics are People, Star, and the Enquirer.
Which she loved to cut and paste in those sacred scrapbooks when classes became a bit too challenging. Who could ever forget the looks on student and faculty faces when they realized what the bought and paid for transfer student was doing at her desk?
This comment made me feel a rush of love for you, Jack. You have given us so much!
Aw, thanks! But what I’ve given is so little when compared to what Jacy, JP, Cuntbunnies, so many others, even Afghani have given us. Never forget the ineffably delicious caulk memos!
LOL. I was just thinking the same thing though, Jack. You have provided some of my very favorite Donkey stories. It’s kind of like finding out how the Joker got his face looking like that.
Re: The Joker – I thought the culprit behind that was Dr. Bobby.
I love you so much Jack that I would piss on your door.
And I’ve painted that door pink, JP, so you’ll be easily able to find me. Sure, that’s a condo violation but rules schmules!
Gee, do you think this Jason is the same Jason she mentioned meeting with in her text exchange with Debbie?
Donkey, you are such an incredible asshat.
Hmmm. Ima bet D0nkey has had her sights / sites / cites set on Jason Silva for a while now … remember her recent mention(s) of Timothy Leary? And TED talks? And now philosophers?
FROM WIKIPEDIA RE: JASON SILVA: The Atlantic describes Silva as “A Timothy Leary of the Viral Video Age.”He has also been described as “part Timothy Leary, part Ray Kurzweil, and part Neo from “The Matrix.”
[...] He left the network in 2011 to become, according to The Atlantic, “a part-time filmmaker and full-time walking, talking TEDTalk.”
[...] Silva produced and directed a short documentary film titled The Immortalists, profiling scientists and philosophers …
And maybe JS is whom Chef Beardette was doing ‘more discovery’ on?
The Modesto Strangler was doing some more discovery for his new “Gloryholes of the Castro” guide he’s doing for Lonely Planet. In the same kind of way Julia covers FW for NBC.
“The Modesto Strangler” makes me laugh every time.
I’m loving it… to think he was once the relatively innocuous “Goat Soap.”
Me, too.
Damn. I just read his Wikipedia page, and she has been exhibiting many of his interests in her recent tweets and comments, seems like she’s molting into another new persona.. Is she really trying to OBO the Greatest Love Ever Known™?
DONK HAS DONK-ESQUE LURVE!
Jesus Christ…WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT DEBBIE GOAT SOAP????
With Devin Stetler as Tumnus (goat legs & a “strange but pheasant little face”) …
NAME THAT C.S. LEWIS TITLE!
* The Chronicles of Mania
* The Lying, the Bitch & the Pink Wardrobe
* The Donkey & Her Boy
SO BLESSED; SO DONK-ESQUE
@She’s So Stupid
What’s great about him is he won’t leave.
why does she keep insisting her parents are MADLY IN LOVE? why has she set this “accomplishment” (parents not divorced!) up on some kind of pedestal? where is the evidence the peter and robin baugher are MADLY IN LOVE?
I’m sorry but there is no way she’s madly in love with the Modesto Strangler.
She’s in a film-esque romance now? Haha, Debbie is Bobby Peru in Wild at Heart.
AT LEAST HALF A DOZEN FILM-ESQUE ROMANCES. YOU HEAR THAT? SHE’S MET THE LOVE OF HER LIFE SIX (count em — 6!) TIMES!
What does that even mean? That because some dude bought her a few dresses and maybe even gave attention to her muff snuffer she feels like she’s lived through Pretty Woman or Sleepless in Seattle? Even against all odds, TRUE LOVE is possible?!
Well, maybe at least with the Sleepless in Seattle comparison, she has the stalker bit down.
This, Nursie. So very much this. When the credits roll on a screen romance, aren’t we given to believe that the characters live happily ever after?
Also, can we please ask The Boys from her rom-com.voms if they found the “romances” “film-esque”? Horror movies don’t count, Donkey.
Um, yeah… once you meet the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, you’re not supposed to OBO them when the next swinging dick comes along.
THAT’S NOT HOW SIXTEEN CANDLES ENDED, DONX. You blow the candles out and then it’s Jake Ryan forever. Not Jake Ryan for a few months then, whatever, a Jelly Donut for a few weeks because you think he can make your video-girl career happen, and then whoever the fuck next for a bit because you think they have more clout.
@Prof. F Camping
‘where is the evidence the peter and robin baugher are MADLY IN LOVE?’
Excuse YOU. Dad$ers is madly in love with Raul. And Momsers is madly in love with booze and pills.
@Dr. Gary: You say “madly in love with booze and pills” like that’s a bad thing.
By FILM-ESQUE, surely Julia Allison Baugher means: Scripted … Fake … For-The-Cameras …
Film-esque romances. Heh. So:
Pancakes = Fatal Attraction
[REDACTED] = Play Misty for Me
JellyD = He’s Just Not That Into You
Debbie = The Object of My Affection
Anything else?
I never saw The Object of My Affection. But I think that right now she’s going through an ugly, low-rent Day of the Locust / Elmer Gantry mashup.
sometimes a lie is just a wish
@Worrisome Pelts
Au contraire, mon ami. Booze and pills = my favorite meal of the day.
My first thought is that their FILM-ESQUE ROMANCE is “Silence of the Lambs.” Debbie Seltzer is Buffalo Bill and Donkey is his latest kidnap victim whom he’s waiting to skin.
Donk is trying to OBO Goat Soap/Mico-peen,,
She has few options though, at this time though..
She wishes she could do better, but No.. you can’t bitch.
Wrong. Donkey has NO options, for OBOing Debbie Seltzer’s nanopeen.
Holy cow, this guy is such a douche. http://thisisjasonsilva.com/
It makes sense that she thinks he’s fascinating.
“Epiphany addict”? Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
And techno-philosopher!
Holy shit, this guy is a complete fucking clown. Watch a couple of his videos, he just spews a bunch of new age bullshit about nothing, but at least his references are tight.
yeah, a walking TED talk is my idea of a nightmare. Run for the hills!
Julia’s college experience consisted of fake rape accusations to avoid papers/deadlines, having her mother write her sex column for her, and hanging out in the med school library to find boys. She barely squeaked by at Georgetown and was universally reviled by other faculty and students. Remember, the only reason she got into Georgetown at all was that her father agreed to pay a full year’s tuition in hard cash once she got in as a transfer. As has been mentioned here before, that’s a classic way private universities scare up quick scratch.
Her entire existence is a fraudulent exercise. How does she go on living?
Isn’t it true that no one in her class applauded when she received her diploma? Supposedly, it was just….crickets.
The fact that this group act made zero impact on her is a true measure if her sociopathy.
It’s true! Donkey hissed “It’s Baugher!” at the poor schlub calling out names before she pranced down the runway and everything became deathly quiet.
Did he pronounce her name wrong?
Yes, and her reaction was venomous. By this time we all nevered the donkey and so just laughed. Nobody gave a shit about even pretending to be nice to her.
Was this the first occurrence of “Don’t you know who I am?!”
Huh. At my high school and university (private, bunnies!), the announcers each had an assistant who accepted the graduate’s name card, asked the pronunciation of the name and then whispered it to the announcer so s/he could say the name correctly. I’m not defending Julie’s overpowering cuntitude, but you’d think for what a Georgetown education cost they’d want to get things right.
If the choice was between pronouncing her surname correctly or just getting her the fuck outta the Healy Gates, I’m guess the administration went with the latter.
It’s hard to argue with that, Jack. Too bad they didn’t just flunk her greasy, unshowered tail the first time they had a chance. No retention rate is worth evering a Donkey.
I went to a huge public university. No one got their names read. We stood up as groups based on our last names. I don’t think even in high-school our names were read, we just stood up by homeroom. That said, I have a kind of hard to pronounce last name, but I would have been elated to hear it read and be able to WALK ON STAGE to receive me diploma. As far as I knew, that shit only happened in the movies.
Reason #782,547 why Juliar is a cunt.
I got my name read and they pronounced it wrong, but it didn’t bother me. I was just excited to graduate and who else even cared what the name was? They were on to the next guy in 2 seconds and hardly any of my college friends even knew my last name anyway. Julia is such a narcissist.
I’d never heard this story before now and all I can say is, WOW. Such an asshole even back then that no one clapped? She graduated with no friends?
I’d be mortified and sad if the place went dead silent for me.
I’m picturing that little girl version of her with the tongue out.
I love this picture. Those of you who’ve been here a while will recognize it as her “lecture” at MIT, if recollection serves. She made several self-snaps using a timer of herself at the front of the classroom. After class. While alone. Gesturing authoritatively. What it must be like to lead such a wholly fulfilling existence.
Oh fuck no. This is amazing. Did not know this story. Why was she there at all?
check out “Podium Pose” in the Glossary and all will be revealed.
pre-frosh pizza
Your wish is my command:
Pre-frosh:
Yes, that dude in the background is yarking. I know that feel, bro.
Pizza:
Yes, that re-re wackjob did insist on posing with her “good” side toward the camera, even though it meant turning her back on her hostages.
And just so I don’t misplace the URLs:
Pre-frosh
http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/100378720
Pizza
http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/100376425
Yes, because pizza has no gluten! #dumbdonkey
She is a demon, and nobody has ever called Pinocchio’s “‘Noch’s” in the history of ever.
God hates me, because I will never enjoy their pepperoni Sicilian again.
@Albie: Nobody who knows her has ever called her a writer/journalist/competent human being, and yet, here we are…
Hostages-too funny.
That is one of my all time favorite Donk fauxtos, with her turned away from her new BFFs like that in a desperate attempt to highlight her “good side.”
Doesn’t that sound like a rip-roaring good time, by the way? Tricking people into thinking Julia Allison was pre-frosh??!??! Craaazzzzzyy!! What a thrilling night that must have been, all focused on Julia Allison!!!! WILD!
A herd of girls make an ongoing commotion but only the stand-out d0nkey causes everyone to make a determination about her & her alone?
Oh honey … that sums up your entire pathetic 24/7 bid for attn, just not in the way you’d hope.
Speshul D0nkey is spheshul !!1!
HAHAHA! I JUST LIKE EATIG PITZA WITH THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY CHEEK OKAY ASSHOLES? ALSO I AM FRIENDS WITH ALL COLORS OKAY YOU SEE LIKE ORIENTAL ME BACK THERE WERE BEST FRIEND SHE BORROWED MY PREETY PINK SHIRT AND MY PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL FUNBAGGAGE FOR THE EVENING. LOL.
YOU JUST DONT SEE ALL THE FUN BECAUSE AFTER I TAUGHT THEM HOW TO STUFF THEIR BRAS WITH PANTIES BORROWED FROM THEIR SORORITY SISTERS WE HAD A TICKLE/PILLOW FIGHT AND I LET THEM TAKE SEVERAL DOZENS OF PICTURES OF ME HOLDING THE PILLOWS FROM DIFFERENT RIGHT ANGELS AND LAUGHING REALLY BIG AND I TAUGHT THEM ABOUT CHARITY BY BORROWED THEIR LADIE MAGAZINES AND LOANED THEM TO THE SHELTER BECAUSE I AM SO NICE YOU SHIT HEADS!!!
The MIT faux-to is a definite high in donkey history.
one of the first things that pushed me over the edge
wow.just.wow. Had not heard that one either. I imagine she also talks into the mirror asking who’s the fairest of the all on a daily basis.
Also, her “lecture” was out in the lobby or foyer, not the classroom itself, if my Donkology serves.
Does she think Aristotle is still under copyright? Every “classic” she’s ever heard of is free online.
What???
“Confessions of an Heiress” is now free online?
When I first read her comment about finding it for free, I thought to myself “Wow, Julie finally realized the intended purpose of the library!”
cut to julie discovering project gutenberg. so up on the latest tech, this one! only a month late to the harlem shake!
“The modern day Aristotle”????? Always nice to start my day off with a loud, long Donkey laugh.
All I know about Aristotle was that he was a bugger for the bottle.
Oh dear God not soda!!!
Mind if we call you Bruce?
Aristotle said the very best play,
Takes place in the space of a day.
Then he laid down more rules,
For tragedian schools,
Which, thank Zeus, we’ve ignored to this day.
… Norman Thijsen, exchange student, poet.
As a theater undergrad bunny, I had to memorize Aristotle’s definition of drama and recite it at the beginning of every class. Lame.
When it comes to philosophers, I learnt everything I know from Monthy Pyton. Namely that….
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boosey beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Shoppenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schloegel.
There’s nothin’ Neitzche couldn’t teach ya ’bout the raisin’ of the wrist;
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed!
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shard was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And René Déscartes was a drunken fart, “I drink therefore I am.”
Yes Socrates, himself, is particularly missed: A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed!
When Rawls wrote abou the Veil of Ignorance, he was talking about Donkey, right?
Like button.
Ah, thank you for this .. I forgot about this little ditty!
Uh oh, a judge ruled that Bloomberg’s soda ban will not go into effect tomorrow. Donkey will be displeased.
[Have we considered the possibility that she’s making a play for him? His family does have a fondness for horses.}
I laughed really hard at this and started to choke. I hope this doesn’t pass. NOTHING cures a hangover like a 32oz cup of Diet Coke.
Given that sugar isn’t a controlled substance, it was never clear to me how this could stand. It would be nice if everyone consumed soft drinks in moderation, but until someone dies and makes me God (I’m looking at you, Helen Mirren), it’s not my call.
I agree with you. It would be nice if people would eat sugar in moderation, but it is not the governments job to control it. I am sure Bloomberg will appeal the courts decision.
the government spends hundreds of millions of dollars subsidizing the corn that makes the cheap sugar that goes into it, so that it is underprived and oversold; providing that is already a government policy. trying to do something about it is a much smarter approach than letting it continue.
I think fixing the larger issue (subsidizing the corn industry) rather than policing individual consumers is a preferable strategy.
Agreed, Albie.
I think it would be great if the government stopped subsidizing corn. It’s primary use is to make high fructose syrup. They’re not subsidizing it as food, they’re basically subsidizing a sweetener. It Baughles the mind.
Maybe they could instead start subsidizing barley, wheat, and the malted grains in beer? Now that’s something I could get behind..
@Random Snowflake
STAY AWAY FROM MY MALT LICKER
@KrakenSkulls
Licker? I didn’t even touch her.
Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Try the veal!
@Kraken: Subsidising corn can suck my balls (and I really hate to agree with Julie). Corn is shit. It needs to go away.
The U.S. Government has no business subsidizing corn syrup, its just fucked up..
So, would you regulate alcohol was well? It’s basically sugar, isn’t it?
And I ask because that’s the true reason for my obesity. Suck it, Bloomberg.
stopping the corn subsidy is the obvious and right thing to do
it will never happen
bloomberg tried to do something local to the same effect
i agree with him
As a good friend (and fellow Cat Lady!) calls it: Diet Coke, Nectar of the Goddesses.
The “not until this summer” is in reference to moving to SF. The rest is her just so FURIOUS about sugar. And also saying “sure was” to someone questioning that cheesy skillets was “years ago” Tired of traveling = not going to SXSW
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 50m
@lauralovesart – Tired of traveling! I’ve been about 5 years in a row, & I just wanted to stay home and go to the beach. I’ll go next year.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 51m
@cohen – Not until this summer!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 51m
@jessie_scrunch @timpatterson – Sure was!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 54m
@TracylovesEdie – I wish everyone in the country were angry ab this! If we allowed cigarettes to be sold w/o warning signs, I’d be livid!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 56m
@TracylovesEdie – and more than that, I’m furious that it’s legal to get kids addicted to sugar, then why we have a diabetes crisis.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 56m
@TracylovesEdie – My parents never ever drink soda, nor does my brother or boyfriend. I’m furious that companies are allowed to sell crap.
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She’s “furious that companies are allowed to sell crap”, but expected FUCK YOU MONEY for NonSociety? Is someone a little conflicted? I think so.
I know we have discussed this before but, her rage issues are slightly frightening. I recently babysat a friends baby and he flew into a rage because I wouldn’t let him stay up past his bedtime. He proceeded to start slamming his head on the ground and I had to physically restrain him until he calmed down. I feel like Julia was like that as a child. These fits she randomly goes into are her way of slamming her head into the ground in hopes of getting attention/get someone to agree with her. I feel bad for whoever her current target is. They don not deserve the donkey.
The thing about babies/toddlers is that inappropriate rage and common behavior like head banging (been there) is a stage that is outgrown as they start to get a hold of their emotions and especially as they gain empathy. Unlike Donkey, most of us have had this transition when we were around 4 or 5.
I don’t even know what to say to her anymore. I thought she’d have been raging about me suggesting she is angry, but no, she wants to chatter. It is to canklehausen vom.
“Sure was!” She is a lunatic! She really must have no conscious at all. I can’t imagine lying so blatantly and glibly. Deranged
WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT HER PARENTS/BROTHER/BOYFRIEND DRINKS. Why does she think anyone gives a shit about the quotidian details of her miserably pedestrian existence? I really can’t anymore with her shit.
And she is, quite literally, the single most annoying person with a boyfriend of ALL TIME. No one fucking cares that you have a goddamn boyfriend for the past five minutes, shut the fuck up already! GAH!
She should just shut up, period. Everything she says or Tweets is truly insufferable. It must require a lot of work to be that much of a relentlessly vile, dishonest, self-important, self-aggrandizing asshat. So maybe she does have a work ethic after all.
She’s SO PROUD to be a twitter “Early adopter.” Like, who fucking cares. IT was seriously one of hte worst inventions of all time, for her, because she’s an unabashed narcissist with a severe internet addiction. She is literally obsessed with and addicted to twitter, and she just makes the biggest asshole of herself on it, 24/7. It’s getting very hard to watch. I just want her to put a sock in it. She’s so manically annoying.
Also I cannot stand upper middle/upper class assholes who brag about the boring snobby details of their rich familial existence. I had a college roommate like this, who expressed mock horror when I brought a tv to school. Guess what, I grew up pretty working class, not only did we always have soda in the house, we also ate McDonald’s on the regular. And I’m more accomplished as a person than you are, so sit the fuck down, asshole. /rant
And there’s more…she’s psycho.
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 11s
#TheBachelor
@BachelorExpert – EXACTLY!!!!!!!! omg, my exact thoughts. I feel like Des … something about her just doesn’t do it for me. Not sure what.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 47s
@BachelorExpert – I do think what Catherine’s sisters said worries me. When the fun dies down, will they still want to be together?
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 1m
@BachelorExpert – I think neither of them are really ready, to be honest. But then again, I wasn’t at 24 and 26, respectively, either!!!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 2m
@BachelorExpert – She’s so beautiful, just exquisite, and clearly quite intelligent. I really wanted her to be the next Bachelorette.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 3m
@BachelorExpert – I could sense that people would be hard on her & that makes me angry. I think she was the most genuinely in it for love.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 4m
@JasonHirschhorn – I don’t remember how it ended up on my bookshelf but it should be REQUIRED reading for all of America! It blew my mind.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 4m
@BachelorExpert – I do like Catherine, too: she’s beautiful & I very much appreciate her quirky sense of humor. A bit young, though.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 6m
@BachelorExpert – Not sure how I feel about Des. She’s sort of … too middle of the road for me. I like someone with more personality.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 7m
@BachelorExpert – I actually was rooting for AshLee, b/c despite her tendency toward seriousness, she struck me as the most intelligent.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 8m
Yes, @SeanLowe09 sucked me into this franchise, after 16 seasons of faithfully, relentlessly, self-righteously avoiding it!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 10m
Is it terribly wrong that today is, in my mind, just about #TheBachelor ? If there are other events occurring, I’m not sure what they are.
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Well, Donkey, the other event I’m watching is a 32 year-old narcissist coming completely unglued on Twitter. It’s pretty entertaining, especially after “16 seasons of faithfully, relentlessly, self-righteously” mocking her delusions of grandeur and inability to function in society.
At least when the Bachelor chooses someone based on their potential interest to media outlets and longevity as a partner in showmance, he might be right. And she might be straight.
comment win!
WP has been *killing it* this post…
I was trying to explain to my roommate’s friends the other day about The Donkey. And they kept saying “but why do you care about a stranger’s life?” and the only way I could explain my interest in this site (because I don’t even care about the donkey) was that it’s become my favorite soap opera. I came here out of curiosity from Miss Assvice, then stayed because Donkey reminded me of family members who are too full of self-involved drama. But I realized I love the Donkey Shitshow because it’s like one of those Housewives shows but like a really sad one that makes me laugh. And for a site that’s supposedly just a bunch of haters, this is really the most civilized comments place on the internet.
It’s hard to explain, because I don’t care about her life per se (in the way she seems to care about the lives of the various Bachelors and Bachelorettes), but she’s the posterchild for rampant buffoonery and pretension, and you all GET it.
LOL and we were just watching something on TV and they mentioned having to visit someone in Modesto, and I just laughed myself silly for 5 minutes thinking about “The Modesto Strangler”. Everyone thinks I’ve gone mad.
Uhm I thought she didn’t even own a TV.. or watch it.
What is up with her conservative *REQUIREMENTS* of everything? People are always required to not drink soda or to read a book. Bitch, no one is required to do shit. This is ‘Merica. I don’t do what you say even at gunpoint. Fuck OFF.
OF COURSE she thought AshLee should have won, bitch was unhinged.
She’s lying about this being her first season watching this, right?
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 6s
Lorenzo
Or so it feels to me!
@BachelorExpert – No! This is my first season!! But I did go on five dates with one of the past season’s Bachelors.
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Julia Allison retweeted
Julia Price @JuliaPriceMusic 38s
@JuliaAllison thanks for the best surprise ever!! #glutenfree #dairyfree #soyfree goodies that I can bring to #SXSW! pic.twitter.com/3NuhHMUWk2
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 47s
@BachelorExpert – So I did a show on Bravo instead. HA … & now I have the most amazing boyfriend in the universe
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 1m
@BachelorExpert – But the only way to be The Bachelorette is to go on The Bachelor & I couldn’t face 24 other women fighting for one guy …
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 2m
@BachelorExpert – Hysterically, about 2 or 3 yrs ago I had a meeting with ABC about me being on the show.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 4m
@KrackersNCheese @SeanLowe09 – No doubt that’s an unusual situation, but no more unusual than women fighting over rock stars
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http://juliaallison.com/sucked-into-8216the-bachelor8217am-new-york-the-dating-lifejanuary-16-2006by-julia-allisoni-have-to-admit-i8217ve-never-watched-the-bachelor-before-last-week-the-hormone-charged-fake-mansion-housed-ca/
HYSTERICAL! WE TALKED ABOUT MARRIA-URM, BEING ON THE SHOW! BY TALK I MEAN I WAS INSIDE…THE STUDIO OFFERING “SECOND DATE SPECIALS” FOR A SPOT! ISN’T THAT JUST SO PRESH AND QUIRKY??
I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN 24 OTHER WOMEN, WERE THEY ON THE COVER OF WIRED? DIDN’T THINK SO. I WILL EAT A BRICK OF GLUTEN IF I CAN GET ANOTHER REALITY SHOW.
I wish someone would tweet her that cheesy skillets were NOT years ago and that she wrote a blog post about watching The Bachelor in 2006. She’s such a liar.
YES PLEASE SOMEONE ANYONE DO THAT
I can’t believe how blatantly she lies, about stuff where the truth is so easy to find. How is she not embarrassed to lie like this? I can’t even imagine lying so casually, so often, and not having the guiltiest conscious and being constantly riddled with embarrassment. There is truly something mentally wrong with her.
Did anyone do this yet? I’ll do it tomorrow morning if nobody else gets to it.
I just did it. I’m pissy and she’s making it worse.
This could get interesting…
Stupid donkey, what is there to ask of the MOST AMAZING BOYFRAAANG ever living the most loving and enlightened life ever and being so spiritual and you tweet about how often you take a shit already.
I admittedly watch the Bachelor and other ridiculously vapid reality offerings – the new Bachelorette, “Des”, reminds me a LOT of Julia. The pre-surgery, younger version. She’s also tiny, cute, and quirky and I think Julia is tres jealous of her. The venom is palpable. If anyone cares, check it out.
As if she would pass up going on an ABC reality show two years ago. Because she was doing…..what now, again?
She didn’t pass it up. They didn’t want her.
Correct.
She said it was a meeting about her being on the show, her definition of meeting was probably a couple of desperate phone calls and tit thrusting around some studio execs with a “camera crew”.
I don’t watch the show, but I saw some clips when I was getting a haircut a couple of weeks ago, and all the chicks seemed to be model pretty and much younger than she is. She’s delusional.
Why would anyone care? She has zero to do with the show, dates a drug addled gay man, is jobless, talentless, purposeless.
She is so batshit and manic here. Also note, this is her pathetisad version of Reddit’s “Ask Me Anything” stupid thing. She’s graciously granting a whole twenty minutes? Lordah mercy. The delusions just keep spinning.
She really is on a weird tear here though. Some kind of odd hyped-up behavior lately that I wonder about. And know about, from my time in SF. The prevalence of this certain something when I lived there. Strange behaviors, animals striking curious poses. Hm, paging Nancy Drew.
Now playing: “Crystal” by New Order.
Maybe she met up with her old bestie Tina in the Tenderloin. Ain’t hard to find.
I absolutely hate women like her, they dwell on some distorted memory of their youth and juvenile shit like PROMMMMM and omgCOLLEGE but turn around and then shit a brick when someone calls out something that happened less than a year ago. She’s fucking unhinged.
Last one I’ll copy into here, but this thread is disturbing because she’s giving advice to an aspiring journalist…
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 51s
@Plp1333 – Nope, I don’t think so. I am happily in a serious relationship, so if I do another show (which I might) it won’t be #MissAdvised.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 4m
@PsychToday – I LOOOOOVE you guys! Psychology Today should be required reading in every household throughout America!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 5m
@BachelorExpert – When I did that shift, it changed my life. I started loving myself more, being more confident, dealing with my issues.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 6m
@BachelorExpert – Paradigm shift from “what do I want in a partner” to “who do I need to BE to attract the partner I want to be with”
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 7m
@JasonHirschhorn – Tell the rest of the hold out Puritans here in America
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 8m
@jerzeywolf76 – Never, probably! No more @MissAdvised, as I am happily with a boyfriend. Maybe a different kind of show, but we’ll see.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 8m
@J_NicoleReed – YES, YES, and YES! (is he trying to have one? Did he ever really leave our hearts? hahah)
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9m
@StephanieeBrayy – Definitely start a blog. The more you write, the better. Try to have a theme so you can tell editors you write on X, or Y
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9m
@StephanieeBrayy – & read a ton of magazines. My faves: @TheAtlantic @wired @GOOD @PsychToday @ELLEmagazine @Inc @FastCompany @EntMagazine
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 11m
@StephanieeBrayy – You can exchange the word “books” for “blogs” with any of those subjects.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 11m
@StephanieeBrayy – And read a LOT of books on marketing, social media, technology and the future. It will give you a competitive edge.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 12m
@StephanieeBrayy – Oh, goodness. I used to say intern, and I still say that, but offer to write for free A LOT when you’re still in college.
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 13m
@BachelorExpert – No, I got dumped at the end of #MissAdvised, but it was VERY MUCH for the best. Here is the story: xojane.com/entertainment/…
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 13m
@KlubKaitlyn – You are very welcome!!! I’m so happy you went!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 14m
@noellehancock – I miss you!!!
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Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 17m
I’m going to be on Twitter answering questions (about life, love & #TheBachelor) for the next 20 minutes! Shoot!
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Wow, she is REALLY hammering that “I’m happily with a BOYFRIEND so I choose not to do Miss Advised for a second season,” bullshit. Why can’t she be authentic for once and just say the damn thing was canceled!?!?!
And wow, Debs…you aren’t going anywhere for a LONG time. She is clinging to you like grim death!
How dare you! I was mutual.
Dealing with her issues? Jobless Sociopath. I think not.
This was soooo OMG painful to read. “I’ll be on Twitter” to “answer questions about the Bachelor” in the middle of the afternoon. Because…why? WTF? Meltdown?
Because she’s a Bachelor expert.
Because everyone wants to hear her take on a shitty reality show that everyone still watches.
Because she was asked to tweet about her expertise on the show by the show’s producers.
Because The Bachelor is a complex drama and it totally needs to be picked apart to fully understand the shows importance in life.
hahaha just kidding, none of these things are true at all.
Because no one will put her on tv anymore.
Those damn Native Americans and their drinking problem ruined Julie’s TV career
(In case it isn’t obvious, I’m kidding.. heh)
I lol’d. I think an Indian shed a tear.
I love “middle of the afternoon” because, no job and also, nothing to do while sexually delicious Debbie has to go make rent on the sad shack pizza table rental.
YOu raaaaaaang?
Yeah, can I have one x-large pizza with everything but dignity on it? Please send to Casa Del Bray.
What grown-up says that their relationship is “serious”?
Exactly. In this whole manic twitter spew, she sounds like an andolecent. Fawning over the bachelor, talking about her parents and brother and their diet habits, lying, exaggerating, and being all BOYFRIEND, BOYFRIEND, BOYFRIEND – it all sounds like stuff from a snotty, spoiled teenager, not a grown woman. It is so cringe inducing.
It’s serious until it isn’t and that’s any day now since Cap
n Microween won’t put a ring on it.
I can’t help wondering whether the lack of engagement means there will be a surprise Vegas wedding in the not-too-distant future? Because that’d just be so Julia! (Also, she wouldn’t have to worry about nobody wanting to come to the princess wedding of the millennium.)
Ahem… Stephanie Bray.
OMG, when worlds collide! My friend from NOLA just posted this article on Facebook about Dirty Billows: http://www.nola.com/opinions/index.ssf/2013/03/let_the_food_trucks_roll_in_ne.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=t.co
Her manic twitter stream reads like an old Firesign Theatre routine:
White lightening, white lightening, this is ground beef control, do you read me, over, over
I read only good books, over
Hahaha, you must be way out there, pastor! over
I’m high alright…but not on false drugs! I’m high on the real thing: powerful gasoline, a clean windsheild, and a shoeshine. over
[sound of airplane losing altitude]
Get thee behind me!!!
Are you insane, dear pastor?
[coughing] I’m alright Roger, just an argument with my co-pilot. [airplane continues its screaming descent] And guess what, Rog? The little red needle is pointing to E! And while that’s always stood for ‘excellent’ in MY book, I guess it means I’m running out gas…
[from the immortal "Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers"]
Firesign Theater. I love you, SS.
What ever you know is wrong!
How can you be two places at once when you’re not anywhere at all?
He’s no fun, he fell right over!
I don’t care who your mistress is, Mr. Danger.
Betty Jo Bialowski! I hadn’t heard that name since college. Everyone knew her as Nancy.
Animals without backbones hid from each other, or fell down. Clamosaurs and oysterettes appeared as appetizers.
Totally OT, but someone posted this on FB and it made my coma-after-daylight-saving-feeling-crappy-Monday immensely more tolerable. I always thought it was funny that Tom Hanks has a fratty son who makes fratboy raps, but now the whole “Chet Haze” thing makes a lot more sense. Like father, like son.
I saw this a while ago. Wasn’t this set-up? Like, didn’t he do this on purpose at the guy’s request to have a funny picture for his friends?
Yes.
Aww. I got trolled. I thought it was funny.
Tom is awesome to do that for somebody.
I never hear anything bad about this guy. I love him. I wish I could find the story about him buying some old lady’s typewriter for way too much money because she gave him some story about it being for her grandkid’s college fund or something. And he later said he probably got trolled and for all he knew it was probably just the grandkid selling his grandma’s typewriter for beer money or something.
I know your username is a Debbie Seltzer joke but I could really use some pigs in a blanket after seeing it.
LOL me too.
it was on chris hardwick’s “nerdist” podcast. episode 65.
Thank you! I thought I saw it on a talk show when he was promoting “Cloud Atlas”. But you’re right it was Nerdist. I’ll have to listen again.
IA and FWMD, the present I got from a friend moving from NYC to Austin was … all her frozen pigs in blankets. I had some recently and they were crazy delicious.
Tom Hanks had some good work to his face done. I noticed it on SNL too. He should give the name of his surgeon to Bruce Jenner
I’m pretty sure that’s not his son, but some random kid. When I first saw that meme I read that TH was there for some event and a kid that love him passed out so missed his chance to meet him. They took the pic to show him the next day. Not sure if it’s true…
With emcees Julia (“currently a contributor at ELLE.com”) Allison and uh Shira Lazar:
http://www.chris4life.org/events/383/2nd-annual-la-dream-date-auction
I just threw up in my mouth. Isn’t Shira Lazar that d-bag who was fired from CBS and ran around with Julie at SXSW a few years back answering questions about being celebrities, or some such nonsense?
I didn’t recognize any of the “celebrities” that Donk and D-Bag will be auctioning off. Mostly soap opera stars, Maxim models, and folks who appeared on a season of The Bachelor. Quelle surprise! No wonder Donk is twattering on and on about that show she could have been on if only her busy self googling schedule weren’t more pressing.
BTW: anyone want to bet that “Aristotle” is the only name that Donkey’s mind can come up every time she (ah, the poor, poor thing) tries to switch to “adorable crazy intellectual dork who’s also very hip and with it and reading books is her thing?”
I am usually not a custodian of Donkey memories, but I SURE AS FUCK remember this from last April (meaning it was practically years ago, ay, Donk?):
https://twitter.com/JuliaAllison/status/191305884838789120
I totally think so. Her efforts to sound intellegent are always so obvious and laughable. She is always so trite and basic with everything, especially when trying to sound worldly and sophisticated. She has zero depth.
Who does she think she’s fooling? Maybe some of the bought Twitterers from Bangladesh?
Well the only thing she reads is self-help books and she is wise enough to know you don’t name drop Dr.Phil.
Who the fuck lives their life according to 2000+ year old philosophers? oh.. sorry..
I am no Dr Phil fan, but his focus on personal accountability is more than enough to repel Julie Booger – no wisdom required. If there were $$$ for her in shilling his high school football coach schtick, she’d ditch her crush on Aristotle in a hot second.
Well, her proud screen grab said she had read about 3 percent of the Aristoteles book. That covers what? The table of content?
The introduction, from which she stole the hilarious witticism about Aristotle, a philosopher, saying that the noblest course in life is to be a philosopher.
Watch for her framing of her next deep question, “If God is omnipotent, can He make a rock so heavy He can’t lift it?”
Further inquiries on who shaves the barber, how much wood a woodchuck can chuck, and what if what you see as blue is what I see as green will be detailed as time permits.
Spoiler: the surgeon was the boy’s mother.
OMG GRUE!! OMG BLEEN!!
What do you mean I can’t make a list of all the lists of things I like such as colors (bright) and rainbows?! DEEPLY CONFUSED.
She stopped when she realized it wasn’t Aristotle Onassis.
I’m really sorry that I am unfashionably late to watching Miss Assvice. I am watching the episode where Andrew surprises Donkey, and Donkey falls to the ground.
Now I am watching Toilet Julia play a super awkward 73 pt checklist and I had to pause it and tell you so I know someone else shares my ten-mile long cringe!!!
Omg, I watched this again just last night. Haven’t seen it since it aired, SO MUCH BAD SINGING.
Someone christened her overreaction “floor oinking.” Truer words, ne’er spoken.
My niece and her friends, all 20, still talk about that episode. As in “that insane chick who should be in the psych ward.”
For a minute I wondered “Who’s Andrew?” but duh, JellyD. How she thought that they had any sort of “relationship” is beyond me.
I may be a horribly bad person, but that shot of her walking down the street in SF crying after he kicked her to the curb just gives me the warm fuzzies.
You are not alone.
I was hoping she’d actually trip on the sidewalk in her hooker boots and roll down the damn hill and hit a trash can where trash belongs. So…yeah, looks like we’re both going to hell.
Make room in that hand basket for me!
And when the cab drove right past her, it would’ve been beautiful if it had splashed her (a la Carrie Bradshaw, natch.)
I’m having a nice Pepsi (not a Coke dude, here) while I eat half of a large pizza. Fuck you, Julie.
I will see your Pepsi + half of a large pizza and raise you a piece of fried chicken from Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles, a couple of Girl Scout Tagalongs + a Diet Coke.
And I enjoyed every. motherfucking. delicious. bite.
FUCK YOU, JULIE.
I am sitting here at work, having forgotten my lunch, and now all I can think about is how fucking amazing fried chicken is.
Fuck, I’m hungry.
Me and my no boyfriend had a girlfriend round tonight. My no boyfriend was really interested in my girlfriend’s pregnancy. We talked and talked about it. Later I’m going to bed with my no boyfriend. We may or may not fuck. I love my no boyfriend. *sigh*
(I don’t have a boyfriend so, naturally I am very jealous of Julia Allison because she is so fab. Just.so.fucking.fab.)
(Modestro Strangler really IS the best name evr!)
I’m suspecting something is not right in Debbie Land. Based on her desperate iPhone Revival House screen grabbed convo and the palpable loneliness of her recent tweets (and that she is posting photos of “paper books” not her Man at bedside), I think she is in the midst of the crazy cry for help tail end of the relationship. Julia has pulled this crap many times when her film-esque things go south, particularly with Pancakes – the “so in love” unsolicited declarations get thunderous and the victim is noticeably absent. Judg(e)Ing from what I gleamed from Devin’s brother, his family seems very Into to the Christ-like and Julia’s Pentacostal dip the other day seems akin to Cindy McCain suck up.
Or I may be wrong and Debbie is still on board with the arrangement and is just meeting his needs for a few days.
The exchange did seem un-rom-com-esque, and it’s not like she doesn’t wildly exaggerate relationships and future plans. And when he’s not around, she does tend to go completely mental re: her Twitter output. I also wondered if she’s trying to make him jealous re: Jason, and he doesn’t have a shit to give.
Simple. Debs didn’t put a ring on the finger for birthcray.
Random thoughts…
- The books were arranged “just so” in front of a photo of donk & debbie, lol.
- Is all her Bachelor tweet mania related to her “emceeing” (LOL) that date auction event thing with Shira Lazar? So she can look like she’s just a huge fan of the show? I wonder if she’s getting all anxious about that – being a busted donk surrounded by more accomplished tiny & cutes and OBOs that are way out of her reach? Oh wait, maybe not the OBOS… #madlyinlove #seriousrelationship
- Interesting that she claims she reads all books simultaneously. They’re just props, yet again. She’ll buy them, she’ll take a photo of them and talk about how she’s reading them (maybe going so far as to pull a random quote she thinks makes her sound thmart), but then I’m going to assume she never bothers to finish them. Are those percentages on the Kindle screenshot download progress or percent read/completed? If it’s the latter, so not surprised that there’s like ONE 100% read book.
Another clue to trouble in debmark is that donkdonk seems to be working OVERTIME to appear intellectual. I’m thinking she definitely has an OBO target.
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
#TheBachelor made me cry tonight. Damn fine television. Someone needs to write a psych dissertation on why this show makes us care so much.
Linking bc it’s ss,sf: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BE-O5YGCEAAeSam.jpg
It’s that Jason dude, no? She’s trying to impress him, and trying to make Deb jealous.
“US.” LOL. Actually most people don’t fucking care about stupid ass reality shows. Only people like you, because you have shallow emotions and your entire life is a cliche. It’s so sad the shit that grabs her.
I specifically watch The Bachelor because of how much it makes me not care. It’s the perfect show to watch because I can answer work emails during it, read the news, miss an episode, and yet I never really miss anything. The only time my emotions got a hold of me during last night’s episode is when I realized that Catherine wasn’t bolting as I hoped she would.
This season of “The Bachelor” seemed to get a lot more attention from people on my Twitter feed (which is mostly acquaintances from journalism and publishing, because I use it for work stuff) than any other season I remember.
Do you (and/or other basement cats who watched it) have a sense of why? Was it the novelty factor of the bachelor saying he was a virgin?
I mean I used to watch bad, bad crap like “Jersey Shore” so I’m not judging, but honey…this shit should not make you cry. She never ceases to amaze me with how maudlin over the stupidest of shit she gets. It’s always people who go on and on about how choked up they get about everything who are the shallowest assholes imaginable.
i’ve never watched “the bachelor” but surmise that she’s crying because they seem genuinely happy – something that she doesn’t have in her relationship.
I’m not sure why more people are watching this season, although I am not a dyed in the wool Bachelor watcher by any means. I would assume that they are assholes like me who would never buy into the “romantic” premise of the show and just want to watch a (very) slow moving trainwreck – but it seems like there are still people who are genuinely into it! I think to a large degree it’s contingent on who the bachelor/bachelorette is, and I guess some women were into really Sean Lowe (which, gym rat body aside, is more or less beyond me).
By all of Julia’s tweeting at Sean Lowe, my guess is that she would OBO Mini Dogs for him in a hot second.
I just read it so I can get lulz from commentary. Someone said Sean had the personality of a computer monitor.
Also, that Leslie chicka seemed cool but I think she’s a famewhore, too. I mean, I know she’s all DC and stuff, but I saw some photos where she was rubbing up against some former show participant who, I guess, is universally reviled. Chris something? Same cloth.
NICE manicure, Donkey. Great color and oh-so-carefully maintained.
Vom!
Plus, judging from that paragraph, that book seems to be a real hard-hitting and profoundly intellectual examination female sexuality. Right up A Donkey’s hallway.*
*Wonder whatever happened to the Hipster Grifter…
Lefoolieh- something is indeed rotten in the state of Debmark!
“Debmark’s a prison”- Shakespeare
Who had a character transform into a donkey in A Midsummer’s Night Dream, I might add.
(iirc)
Ever notice just how often wordsmith Julia Allison is “deeply confused” by the most mundane crap? It’s worrisome! And now her boyfriend has contracted it?
Confusion can be secondary to disorders, including but not limited to: dissociative; depersonalization; personality; but, she could be in a psychotic episode (her recent tweets certainly lend to this theory) … or …
OR, maybe it’s Biology & she of the diabetic feet is simply in the midst of a hypoglycemia attack, in which case: EAT SOMETHING SUGARY, D0NKEY!
I LOVE CATHERINE & SEAN!!! #TheBachelor – And yes I made my boyfriend watch alongside me. He was deeply confused but happy I enjoyed it.
… but a cute 20-something deeply confused about his life’s purpose, all the while wondering where the next camera might be, well, it just gets old after a while.
I just “discovered” (and by discovered I mean someone told me about it) a video uploading/sharing site that 1) doesn’t deeply confuse me 2) doesn’t assault me visually and 3) will still allow me to squander loads of time I should be spending, uh, reading celebrity magazines.
Men attempting the old “let me run my fingers through your thick, sexy mane” trick are deeply confused / grossed-out to find that you have lots of little … strange … bead-type pellets near your scalp.
THE HEADBAND WAS PLASTIC. I’m deeply confused. WHEN DID EVERYTHING GET SO DAMN EXPENSIVE?!?!
I’m deeply confused as to what a “good” Klout score for an “influencer” is …
Deeply confused about whether I can consume products with lecithin on a gluten-free diet. Um … anyone know?
But I do know that I’m deeply confused about how to think …
She is deeply disturbed.
I’m deeply confused as to how this idiot made it to adulthood.
I think it’s an example of her NPD need to use superlatives. Everything she does must be more profound than anything anyone else has ever experienced. Ordinary people are merely confused; Julie is DEEPLY confused.
Yes.
NAIL. ON. HEAD. Another great example:
‘In the midst of college, Julia worked on a high profile congressional campaign, later becoming the youngest legislative correspondent in the DC office of a prominent Illinois politician during the 107th Congress.’
Hear that?? Julia Allison was, at one brief moment in time, THE YOUNGEST of the young’uns in that one guy’s DC office during that one two-year span.
Well, how young were correspondents in his Illinois office? THAT WAS YEARS AGO, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?
BTW, if you feel deeply one way or another, go here to answer: Do you like Julia Allison?
I mean, for Greg’s sake … in the midst of elementary school, I worked on a high profile macaroni mosaic, later becoming the youngest person in 2nd period art class (when the only person younger than me moved away).
Fast, even for D0nkey!
What is that?
Fauxdawg, see the link a post or two above it … some self-aggrandizing site / sight / cite page that D0nkey undoubtedly generated on herself (but I think I saw a kitty paw print as well) … what’s funny is that when I first noticed the change, it was only seven minutes old, but I didn’t screengrab it as quick as I could have.
I think I just found my new username! Thank you, Brayella
OR: “Deeply Confused about Bead-Type Pelts” ?
“maybe it’s biology” = perfection.
Men attempting the old “let me run my fingers through your thick, sexy mane” trick are deeply confused / grossed-out to find that you have lots of little … strange … bead-type pellets near your scalp.
Donkey with your triflin ass, please wash your damn hair! Those “bead type pellets” (kind of redundant, no?) are bits of dirt clinging to grease. Gross. And you have lots of them? Okay…
Take a damn shower.
not that she isn’t gross, because woof, but if i remember correctly, that was part of a discussion about the pros and cons of hair extensions.
I can see on icerocket that kerfsbears and the TrueJA called her out on her twit lies, but they don’t show up on her twitter page. She must have blocked I guess.
1 h 244 KerfsBears: @juliaallison you also wrote extensively about The Bachelor back in 2006 and 2007. why the weird lies about, well, everything? try truth! · Reply · RT
1 h 244 KerfsBears: @juliaallison you did a sponsored tweet for velveeta cheesy skillets only about a year ago. 1 year, not many years. · Reply · RT
1 h 280 TheTrueJA: Yoohoo, @JuliaAllison!! Fourteen months ago, public health warrior! t.co/gCDU5rHzVw · Reply · RT
1 h 280 TheTrueJA: And I wrote a column in 2006 about watching The Bachelor, even though I insist I have never watched it. Ooops! t.co/1MqgMqqnif · Reply · RT
Is there some way I can tell if she’s blocked me? (I am “Churton Bear” aka @kerfsbears)
Who cares? D0nkey “blocking” people on Twitter is futile, since one only has to click on: https://twitter.com/JuliaAllison to see her twat stream, & when you “@” @juliaallison, even if “blocked”, you can bet that she sees it because D0nkey Dement0 spends all of her waking hours seeking out each & every mention of herself.
@JuliaAllison’s bought-&-paid-for Twitter followers are already sloughing of like dead skin, don’t skew the numbers, eh?
If you’re blocked, it just means she won’t see your tweets when you’re logged in, and you won’t see hers when you log in. Use a different browser or a different account or just don’t log in, and you can see anything. It’s deeply useless!
That’s all I could come up with and I thought there must be more to it than that. Useless indeed.
Pretty certain this was discussed here a couple days ago, but has anyone flat out asked her what she would do if she were offered a big bucks endorsement deal with Coke or Pepsi? (I know, I laugh at the very idea too..) I’m just curious how she would handle that question. Would she sanctimoniously say she would never? (liar).. or Bray and make a joke about maybe she would, just for the money, wink wink (hypocrite)…
Come on, this is Julia Allison. Course she’s gonna flat out lie and say she would NEVER EVER DO THAT EVER. Sure, whore.
I read them earlier today. Make sure you select “all” and not featured. Huzza!
I move that RBD mods entertain a motion to change “GLOSSARY” tab to “DONKIPEDIA” …
Is there a second?
seconded + infinity!
Does the motion carry?
Are the hairy times familial?
So hairy, so familial.
I feel really, really stupid. All this time I have thought of Julia as kind of dim-witted and narrow-minded. Intellectually incurious. Like a female George W. Bush. Sometimes I would read her “articles” or whatever and think, man, that sounds so undergraduate english class to me. She’s like one of those people who wants to be considered a “writer” but doesn’t actually like writing or reading.
I could not be more wrong.
According to her twitter she is reading “Sex at Dawn”, one of the most talked-about “idea” books of a couple years ago. It blends anthropology and modern sociology to reinforce a theory that primal sexual urges have been twisted and locked down by modern society, but that they assert themselves nonetheless. Often in our subconscious!
She’s also reading “A brief History of Time”! The book by the famed physicist and thinker Stephen Hawking! That wheelchair smatyy-pants guy with the Speak and Spell voice thingie! Loooove him! I know a lot of people are “familiar” with that book. But not too many people actually READ it. It’s more talked about than read.
But Julia’s reading it!
She’s also reading “The Edcuation of Millionaires”, by the not-at-all-sweaty-and-pervy-looking Michael Ellsberg (totally sane, too, by the way), and “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by that guy Deepak Chopra. Your weird aunts “favorite (real “only”) philosopher. He’s Indian or something! How exotic!
Plus a few more books I never heard of but that sound wicked brainy.
But the real crazy thing is how she’s reading them ALL at the same time. Simultaneously. She is literally reading nine books at once. Nine.
She’s not assembling a batting order. She’s not reading one at a time, back to back. This isn’t like a reading list. Like YOUR reading list. Like: I’ll get to that one as soon as I finish this one. This woman’s brain is so fucking hungry for knowledge, and knowledge RIGHT NOW, that she cannot wait to finish one book and start another. She grabs nine books and just starts devouring them all at once. Like a starving man suddenly thrust in front of a full banquet table. Ravenous for wisdom! Reading! It’s like breathing to her. She can’t NOT do it. She doesn’t know why she does it or why she can’t stop. Better to ask the fish why he swims, or the wind why he blows.
Now I know what you’re thinking. These are the kind of books a certain type of person – maybe one concerned primarily with presentation and perception – might leave strewn about the house. Displayed prominently to give passers-through the impression the owner was a real intellect.
Not the case here.
These are right beside her bed. Stacked altogether, like a delicious stack of buckwheat pancakes for her pretty little head (because she’s reading them AT THE SAME TIME). I know this because she took a picture of them and posted it on her twitter. Sure, some people might say that’s even more craven than just tossing them on the coffee table – I mean, only visitors to her house would see that. Now, everyone on twitter can see her impressive literary buffet.
Tsk, tsk. You are so cynical, some people. So jaded. If we can’t believe what we see and read on Julia Allison’s twitter, what can we believe.
“…or the wind why he blows.” – for shoes of course!
flatface coulda been obama’s speechwriter!
I’m sorry: did you say Osama’s speechwriter? I’m sorry, my bad. I couldn’t hear you. I was listening to the new Son Volt album, and the new Neurosis album, and the new Earl Sweatshirt album and the new Justin Timberlake album and the new Yeah Yeah Yeah’s album, and the new Kylesea album and the new Depeche Mode album.
All at the same time.
What?
You think that’s weird?
I love music. That’s just how I do it. I take like 6 or 7 or 8 or 9 albums i really like and I put them on, all at the same time.
Everyone knows that intellectual, deeply confused music lovers listen to their albums by the simultaneous baker’s dozen. Only a plebe would given focused attention to one work at a time.
I was just banging an Earl Sweatshirt track! While I was listening to Deftones, Sublime, Shamshing Pumpkins, Lil Kim, and 311.
Only smart people bang themselves over the head with shit they can’t understand.
Flat face, this may be my favorite of your comments. And that’s saying a lot.
You are a Treasure.
OMG howling.
From the donkey’s gaping maw:
Of course, I remember approximately 3% of everything I learned. Which is a pretty bad return on my dad’s investment, but … um … memory was never my strong suit. Christ, I can barely remember the plot of the last book I read, let alone shit I studied four years ago. Oops?
Ugh, and the double spaces. I want to jabba her.
Fuck, one little “er” and we would have had the “Er, umm, oops?” bingo.
When I saw that tweet I thought of the 5-Hour Energy commercial where the guy is running and knitting at the same time. Read all the books! At the same time!
Flatface, I’m deeply confused as to how someone could write something as brill and funny as this. Kadooze!
Well, I suppose if anyone is an appropriate representative for malignant assholes:
she is inside!
Her gigantic head is, anyway.
Ordinarily I would predict that she would skip out at the last minute due to gluten intolerance or something so she wouldn’t break her record of talking about charitable endeavors and then never partaking in them, but given the former number of Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants, I think it’s safe to say she’ll be there.