Today in Shut The Fuck Up:
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RT
@mashable: The Best Entrepreneurs Are Older, Have Less Ego http://on.mash.to/X3kFz6
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But the article is clearly wrong!!! “The best entrepreneurs are ones who work in their field first, gaining valuable real-world knowledge and experience for a decade or more.” No, no, no! What matters is experience with a magical imaginary corporation! And standing behind a podium at MIT in an empty auditorium! Silly writer! Boy entrepreneurs exist to buy Julia shoes!
And wearing fuck-me shoes a A LOT of makeup!
At all times!
Fuck-me shoes will bring you fuck-you money.
The first thing I thought when I read this was, “Where is Grammarian?”
aaaaaaaw right here xoxoxo
yikes so large so fat SS
so fat SO DELIGHTFUL.
Fuck you none-y!
Missed you, bitch!
Also popping in to say I am so glad Daddy is posting again.
And Mommy, I am sorry to hear about your mom. Sending you cat lady love.
BBQ, have missed you much as well! <3
Clearly this is a warning of some kind. Donks has nothing but bad founder DNA coursing through her veins…
That’s lovely. Where does that come from?
The article in the link above-bonus-it’s Donk’s new tattoo.
So sorry, so fat, so dumb. I just assumed the article would be thoroughly stupid because Julie Albertson was recommending it, so did not bother to click.
How does she see this and not think, “Oops, they’re talking about me, let me not post this lest I embarrass myself..”
I guess we could ask that about a lot of things. But even to this day, after years of following the Donkey show, her lack of self-awareness is startling.
It is lovely, but it lacks two crucial elements of the patented Donkey touch:
stubborn refusal to do any work whatsoever
and
zero ideas that could be considered as even vaguely original.
PROMMMMM!!1!
Throwing shade at Randy, maybe? LOL
I saw this tweet earlier today, because I was feeling down and when I need to cheer myself up I just take a glance at JAbba’s recent tweets.
Glancing at Juliar’s recent tweets always cheers me up, too. Ain’t it grand how that works, nurse? No prescription needed.
Maybe it’s just me (after a few cocktails) but does Donk look like Michael Jackson in the picture above?
I am painfully sober and I see it too.
Then again, Michael was adorable when he was a kid.
Yes, that was about the Michael Jackson-ist she’s looked, apart from another photo I remember of her VERY pale with very dark hair and sunglasses that I will never be able to locate.
Actually…http://cheezburger.com/4567749888
Early on I thought she looked very artificial, like she was sort of cute and then BLAM – plastic.
CDB aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Seems to me that one major downfall of wannabe founders would include wasting time pushing paper by applying to the Founder Institute to perform their battery of personality & aptitude tests … who seriously gives a free-flying fuck, besides the Julia Allison’s of the Fail Society?
There are some good conclusions that have been made by “Management Scientists” on how individual personalities work in groups, how they are best motivated, what assignments are best for workers based on their personality, how to build trust with various personality types, etc. It has helped me in my line of work and I marketed the research of a Professor at UVA, who is considered an expert in this field. It’s pretty powerful stuff… but obviously not universally applicable.
A good article from the Washington Post…”Why extroverts fail, introverts flounder and you probably succeed”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/on-leadership/why-extroverts-fail-introverts-flounder-and-you-probably-succeed/2013/01/28/bc4949b0-695d-11e2-95b3-272d604a10a3_story.html
Very service-y link. I am reading this right now and I can feel the paradigms shifting. (!!!)
Same’s Prof’s reading list includes “The No Asshole Rule” (mentioned in the founder article) and Covey Institute books that are one the donk’s reading list. Julie needs to get out her ball point and highlighter for those serious bidness books!!!
“The No Asshole Rule”
Sounds like a rule that Devin Stetler would hate.
There need to be more comments for me to peruse. Please say more things, cat persons.
More things. (HEE HAW!)
Also, I sometimes wonder [I couldn't help but wonder?] if Julia is just the least self-aware loser in the world or whether her delusions really are powerful enough to make her think she’s a smart, sexy, enviably talented entrepreneur and “personality.” Either way she’s got a flashing neon AVOID sign on her forehead.
It’s scary, like Poltergeist as a child or even as a now scary.
LOL because she is a person with a small ego LOLOL. Stop retweeting shit that you know nothing about, cannot relate to, and has nothing to do with you, you ninny.
THIS. It’s just as relevant as if she decided to critique the rehab plans of NFL players this off-season.
Take a seat, Julia. Preferably one on a bus to Antarctica. (SCIENCE! AND MAPS!)
Pfftt don’t you know everything has to do with her!!
Remind me, wasn’t D0nkey sucking up to this dude, or defending him, or both?
Maybe she can jump on the plagiarist speaking engagement band wagon …
(she’d probably crib his notes though)
From NPR:
‘Jonah Lehrer, the science writer who resigned from The New Yorker in July after he was caught recycling his own material and fabricating quotes, was paid a $20,000 honorarium by the Knight Foundation to speak about his “mistakes” at a media seminar Tuesday. Lehrer introduced himself as “the author of a book on creativity that contained several fabricated Bob Dylan quotes.”
He’s making plagiarism part of his brand. Julia, are you listening?
Our civilization had a nice run, I guess.
+1
Huscat this morning (in reference to civilization): “so we’re basically done here, huh? Guess we had a good run…”
why is he being paid, supported, rehabilitated? oh, wait, white guy.
Failing upward, the Honkie-American Dream.
sadly yes
startups are two kinds: making a company and making an app/product
the simpler one first: you can make an app/product and grow it into a company or you can make it tight enough to sell it
making a company starts with the question, to do what?
Missing from the diagram:
-Befriending tech billionaire’s sister
-Sexual favors to tech journalists
-Crowdsourcing dog sitting
-Acquiring boyfriend with basic technology knowledge, regardless of sexual orientation
Speaking of the toyfriend, her hand gesture in this photo: wishful thinking?
Mouse over the photo.
Never fails!
Some observations:
1) These fucking tweets at 5:00am this morning -
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
We all have front row seats to our own lives.
Expand
9h Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
Paradox runs the world … And you.
Expand
Um, WUT?
2) A bizarre lack of fashuun photos of herself. What’s up? This is highly unusual. I’m guessing she has no time to photoshop, what with all the important tweeting until 5am
3) Where in the world is Devin Stetler? He hasn’t liked any of her recent FB posts… Dadsers had to fly in the calm down a Donkey (I’m guessing) and she’s a hot mess until 5am every morning. She’s flying into SFO tomorrow, Valentine’s Day (grabs popcorn)
So how is Debbie does San Fran working out?
Debbie’s Tenderloin is probably loving The Castro.
I’m sure his Nob Hill got quite the welcoming.
His Richmond was in Potrero Hill. Wait, I don’t think I am doing this right.
Wait, no, I think it works! His “rich mound” was in… uh.
His Coit Tower can’t wait to check into the Gaylord Hotel.
I just learned that Allison Williams from Girls has been dating Ricky Van Veen for the past two years. I had no idea. Wow, what a step up from a donkey.
Seriously? Wow. Wait – wasn’t he linked to Donkdonk’s idol, Lena Dunham for awhile?
RVV dumped his longtime gf for Allison, I thought this was discussed on RBD before?
RVV is a prime case study of an extremely nice guy who very slowly turned into a serious dick as he got richer and more famous.
His ex-GF is now dating comedian John Mulaney, who’s certainly a step up from RVV in looks, so don’t feel TOO bad for her.
THIS guy? Also jesus christ look at her old schnoz.
Eh, he just does not look so good there. Recent photos of him are adorable IMHO.
Nice eyebrows, though [not].
Yeah, i saw that in Gawker yesterday. Makes sense because she started on Funny or Die (which I can’t stand). Yet I can’t help but like her from the interviews I’ve seen. She’s the only one who doesn’t get nekkid on Girls, must be in her contract. I’m surprised Julia isn’t tweeting and idolizing her.
Wait really – so who was the former Donkey hostage linked to Lena for awhile?
Donkey’s not tweeting about it because how is she going to get around the question – “Why don’t you hang out with Ricky Van Veen anymore???” Oh, because he hates you, openly mocks you and banned you from his office. Oh, sadz
I went to college with her and she is the nicest, least pretentious person ever. I still can’t watch Girls, though.
That guy really gets around.
Julia never dated RVV; she dated his co-founder [Redacted #2]. There was some speculation in NY media circles that she was after RVV the whole time and settled for [Redacted #2] as a means of getting one step closer to him, but I don’t know whether this is true and am actually inclined to think it isn’t.
I always assumed Donk was after RVV, what with the pulling him into photo op after photo op, and when he clearly has such a high opinion of the d-bag opportunist.
http://guestofaguest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/57450.jpg
You have a point.
Wow… just wow.
———————————
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
I read at 12; Formative for me. RT @TheAtlantic: skeptical early reviews of Betty Friedan’s ‘The Feminine Mystique’ http://theatln.tc/YcYo3b
Ha, I temped briefly for Betty Friedan at the former Mount Vernon College for Women in DC. No bullshit kind of lady. Didn’t the Feminine Mystique come out in the late 50s? Julia’s tweet makes no sense as usual. does she even know Friedan is dead? I just Kant.
Julia Allison Baugher clearly read EVERY important book ever written–and with highlighter–during her formative years. Think THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE was published in ’63. No, I didn’t look it up. Re: Friedan, I ran on the treadmill beside her–she walked briskly–at Washington Sports in upper Dupont maybe 15 years ago. A study in determination, the octogenarian seemed to be there just about every evening, unlike Donkey’s “gym commitment” lasting a whole two days.
She once read the Communist Manifesto.
Or made a note saying that she would.
Or said that made a note saying that she would.
Ha, I lived right by that WSC for a number of years (off of Florida on Seaton)!
Temp gigs are usually awful. But the one at Mount Vernon was particularly bad because of the commute – the campus wasn’t by any metro stations and I had to take a couple of buses (i was living in Mount Pleasant pre opening of Columbia Heights metro at the time) and it was kind of a waning, surreal place. Also I felt self-conscious a guy on an all girl campus. Because I was stuffing envelopes or doing some kind of filing or excel thing I didn’t have much contact with Friedan even though I was in her department.
Julia has never had to temp, do such humiliating work in her life!!!
There is no way she read that at 12, 15, 18 or ever.
So true. Even Donkey has admitted she has the attention span of a sewer rat and she would have had little context–Why is MAD MEN mean to all the girls?!– for Friedan’s 60′s manifesto at age 12 in 199?. Her claim is nearly as offensive as the photo op in which she and Rat Teef Randi flanked Gloria Steinem.
What??? I have never seen that picture. Ugh. They both disgust me.
http://peterfeld.tumblr.com/post/104672579/jgh-julia-allison-had-dinner-with-gloria-steinem
OH JESUS CHRIST SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP /dead
Because at fucking TWELVE she really understood how confining it can be to be a woman with a family and no career. You really feel that sense of suffocation and sacrifice at twelve. We can see the message was received given she has NO CAREER AND ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS LAND A WALLET
Please, just sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.
I read the Autobiography of Malcolm X at about that age. JA is a feminist in just about the same way that I am a person of Color. Not at all, my dear.
She’ll fit right in at xojane, who pay $50 giant dollars per story:
http://www.xojane.com/entertainment/julia-allison-love-coach-bravo-tv-miss-advised
And the dead granny hand pic is included!
This is so grotesque.
Please leave your message at the tone.
I-I-I-I-I-I. Me-me-me-me-me-me. When she takes her tongue out of Lalalal’s asshole long enough. “You see, Annie is a love coach. Yes. A love coach … ” Donkey’s never ending, dull as shit writing about herself as though she were actually interesting winces me.
http://annielalla.com/author/julia/
So she just regurgitated the old Elle article, then? Keep fucking that chicken.
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL Paging RRR! RRR made a funny comment on GOMI a couple of days ago on a post about Gala Darling getting canned from xojane as beauty editor, about the position opening up being the only position known to man JA is actually overqualfied for. OF COURSE JA in actuality is now writing for xojane, which is a total shitshow and the only place that will have her. Of course she is recycling content.
MY GOD NO ONE CARES that your granny died and then you got a bf. That is called “life” it’s not the stars aligning! Go fuck!
Mandy no-thought-is-too-retarded-to-keep-to-myself Stadtmiller just posted it on Facebook saying that the story gave her the chills.
Those chills were from poor ventilation that Mandy, as Charo would say, misconscrewed as an emotion
Ha ha ha ha ha oh my sides.
I have a couple of friends who write for xojane, and it’s just not a useful gig unless you use it to leverage something else you’ve got going. But Julie’s cargo cult of a career just requires her to appear to be working and then she’s happy. It doesn’t matter that she’s only making $500/month (so far this month we’ve seen her on a talk show and now this cash cow of a colyum) and spending quintuple that to fly to NY and hire a camera dude to film her fake interviews with the stolen, expired mike flag.
Six-figure income? Maybe in Zimbabwean currency.
That is one fugtastic herp-derp photo of Miss Debbie!
That photo will give me nightmares.
Can’t do it #whilst running desk errands, but the only interesting to come out of this shitty regurge will be to note the changes she’s made since the first time around. I already see through a quick run through a text comparions that she’s embellishing on things like what Annie supposedly said to her and how she “cried herself to sleep every night”. Weren’t there plenty of periods where she was SO. HAPPY. SO. BLESSED before Miss Advised ever aired? The problem with documenting all the minutia of your damn existence is that it’s ON THE INTERNET FOREVER where comparisons can easily be made. She can’t even fake a new persona (not that she’s even been successful at this) without having her lies pointed out. Silly donkey.
Oh my. Cliff Clavin ist doing a guest appearance on 2 Broke Girls.
I can’t read this. I just skimmed and looked at the photos– here I am with LaLa and we’re both wearing ugly coats and I look like someone’s governess on Downton Abbey…. and here I am again with LaLa where we’re both dressed like burning man witches and I just love LaLa so much because she humors me by agreeing to make silly poses with me for photographs. And here is my granny’s veiny hand and my shitty tattoo. And here is my twink boyfriend crouching on the pavement because I told him to.
God, and this last line…
And so this story has become the greatest lesson in my life: Love giveth and love taketh away; out of the pain of love lost was the ecstasy of love gained.
This is the meaning of life, in all its devastating glory. Let it unfold.
Excuse me while I shower vom.
It’s that bad. It just gets worse and worse.
Oh my. Professor Fuck Camping et al Kitty Committee …
WHAT? did ya’ll do on your last meet-up?
We were shocked and devastated to hear that the beloved donkey mascot at local Mission watering hole Rock Bar was recently stolen from his rightful home. Who would commit such a horrendous crime? I spoke with bartender Brion Rosch to get the lowdown on the recent donkey-napping.
haha, I saw that on the Bold Italic this morning. Made me feel a little sad for the statue.