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Julia Allison’s favorite subject: Julia Allison. And all the amazing things Julia Allison has been able to do in her long, storied career. It’s about HARD WORK, y’all. Julia Allison knows a great deal about HARD WORK. You should ask her about it. If you have a camera she will talk to you for a very long time.
Yet she’s still not getting paid. At 32. She’s spending a week in NYC covering fashion week for free for the millionth year in a row.
nowhere else does “write for” = “hand in a page of crap eventually whittled down to a paragraph”
And she still has one of THE most grating on-air presences I’ve ever had the misfortune to witness.
Funny how she left out “find a rich boyfriend for food, shelter and clothing” while interning, and “flash your ass at Gawker parties” to make connections.
Also conspicuously absent: sucking cock.
She’s saving that for next week’s video: America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen and Serial Dater Julia Allison Explains How To Get Your Shoes for Free
Or getting diddled under the table at Balthazar by an editor at Men’s Health and then bragging about it to Gawker.
For the n00bs:
http://gawker.com/380373/third-base-at-balthazar-mens-healths-dave-zinczenko-and-julia-allison
Also..
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/152175/fingerbang
p.s. Nice eyelashes.
Also, lipstick… it seems like a color an out of touch mortician would apply to Grannies and Great Aunts.
Also, Botox lumps which is all I could see, on her forehead…
What a complete fucking loser. When her father sends along yet another cash payment to help fund her “career”, the rest of us are busy with real victories and real defeats.
I really want to see more of this shit. This is the old JA. Full of shit and telling everyone about it.
How many spoonfuls of Vaseline were smeared on that lens?
That’s Barbara Walters level smearage.
Yeah, really. I didn’t think it was possible to actually shoot something that hazy without actually losing track of where your subject was in the shot.
“Interning taught me to make do with nothing; no resources whatsoever.”
Except for the parents paying your rent and that $10,000 they gave you.
(Knowing how she lies, they probably gave her much more than that over the years, constantly.)
Loved this: “I kept applying for editorial positions within Condé Nast, within Hearst..”. Not applying for jobs at those companies, but “within”. Intentionally implying that she actually worked at them, or even interned there. As in, “hiring from within”.
There really is such a thing I suppose, that people call a “television personality” as shorthand, especially when it’s vague about what they actually do. A “personality” is not actually a job description. No one actually calls themselvesthat. (Hi, I’m a television personality”.)
Except of course for this delusional beast, using it hilariously without a shred of irony.
I’m gonna fucking get the rages. Don’t make
Me watch this.
Bitch? You never paid your own rent a day in your life. Go fuck right off w your fake struggles. Needs more wine brb.
Didn’t she hire an intern when she was an intern? Her mantra is to delegate the work.
Didn’t this come up during that recent interview with NPR’s Maura Johnston? Something about Julia being best at delegating work to others? Something along the lines of put that stack of chairs over there, measly intern, for I am Mulia Mallison!
Another weird thing that doesn’t add up? She describes this technique of majorly sucking up to EICs or editors “who have a book out”, want promotion for it bla bla. So she says she wants to interview and write an article about it. Actually she said, “column”. So, if she’s just this lowly intern, where did she place or sell these articles?
She strongly seemed to imply that she did. I’m pretty sure it’s uncool for editors to buy articles about themselves, or their books, and publish them in the magazines that they work for. Kind of a profeshnul no-no. And why would competitors want to publish gushing puff-pieces about their rivals? You’re never going to see an ass-kissy valentine about say, Anna Wintour in a Hearst magazine, say.
Basically she was saying, kiss as much ass as you can, and one day you’ll be just as cracked, unemployed and desperate as she is now. It takes hard work, people!
She said all the right things in this video… too bad none of them are true for her.
To clarify: Donks could have sold them elsewhere I guess. But isn’t that leaving out the crucial step of how she did this, as a self-described nobody? She really seems to be saying that because she wanted to write for Cosmo, she did that by flattering Cosmo editors, and that’s how she got to write for Cosmo. I don’t buy it. She just blew the right people.
Is it possible she was publishing them online? Yay, an incoherent blog column!
They show those TV segment clips and she LIES about not getting paid to do them, when she was an “Editor at Large” getting paid to do them. She’s just trying to justify using people and not paying her help.
You can totally tell that those clips span YEARS, as the faces and hair styles rapidly change. So, she interned for years and years and did all these for free, or she is grossly inflating the amount of TV spots she got during her short tenure as an intern and is using paid footage from later in her career to pad the clips? Hmmmm
First of all, there’s no fucking way that she worked her ass off anywhere at anytime in her life. I do not believe that for a turtle’s wink. Second of all, did she invent interning? does she think that without her assvice everyone would half-ass their internship?
UGH i can’t
It’s so fucking offensive. She’s the idiot child in a family of well to do over achievers and an embarassment to all of them who has literally earned not a single accolade o her own since conception. She’s the absolute worst.
It’s so easy! Just be born rich, fail out of a state school because you couldn’t get into a fancier one the first time, have daddy’s name buy you an internship on the hill and a place at g town where you clearly do not belong, graduate by a hair, use a series of men to pay your rent while you pretend to write, then befriend even wealthier ladies and start a fake company that beer makes a dime. ANYONE CAN DO IT WITH HARD WORK.
Best part is her work product such as it exists is a laughing stock.
That’s “never makes a dime.” Fuk you iPhone.
Beer makes much more money than Donkey ever has, and it’s an inanimate object. Seems appropriate.
Beer > yeast > infection> Donkey
The screenshots from this one are #liquidshit.
When Jack McCain ended our imaginary relationship I was THO THAD.
I love you. LOOK AT THE BOTOX LUMPS!!!!!!! And that hair do… NO! Not with that puffy face, sister.
The horns, the hair. Santo dios.
the chin freaked me out in this video.
Then Bravo offered me a chance to be the butt of an 8 week joke on people who misplaced their tv remotes, so I made my shocked face:
OMG strokeface
I actually find her likable here.
Ha joke on people who lost their remotes. That’s how I actually found it, well I was too lazy to move to go get it and then too shocked it was a tv.
I mean, I knew I was right for it because I am THO THEX-THAY:
She is a walking SNL spoof of herself. The way she closes her eyes, contorts her face and emotes to make a point…it’s so contrived and phony.
As soon as the producers introduced me to the finest and least expensive men a Craigslist casting call had to offer I was all:
Paging MY SYMMETRICAL NOSTRILS!
Uhm, er, oops? O^o
And when that didn’t work I was all:
DERP
My “friends” were all:
I still wanted America to see what a charming and well-bred young lass I am, though, so when I FINALLY got a second date I was all:
Here that Debbie???? Blowing Andrew Bancroft on their second date. What a lady you landed.
To better illustrate for Devie, she blew this guy after their second date, and he promptly kicked her to the curb soon after:
D0nkey, put these on your hooves to complete the Blow-Up Doll look.
After that, the six people who watched the show were all:
When I found out the show was not being renewed on the grounds that it was offensive to all carbon-based life forms I was all:
But it’s okay, because now I have time to pursue my true vocation: being SO FASHION.
bravo, some of the best screencapping since the Orange Arches of Doom era.
The Orange Arches of Doom were a pinnacle we’ll ne’er see again unless Donkey starts grifting for meth.
dead
Worrisome Pelts, I think I love you.
Oh my god, what was this from?
It’s from a video shot by Sean Percival of Lalawag, I believe. Looks like it’s been taken private (by him, not her).
And who pray tell do you write for now? Where can I read your fascinating tomes
On you, and you, and dating or something cutting edge social media Facebook twitter something something?? Exactly. You write for no one now because you suck at it. Please stop. Jesus Christ I just wanted her to marry rich an stfu an she failed at that even.
Lies, biotch, LIES! Seriously isn’t blinking like that supposed to be a “tell” when someone isn’t being truthful. When she starts talking in the beginning and then starts naming some of the publications she supposedly “wrote” for the blinking gets out of control!
Look coming from a rich family doesn’t make you a bad person automatically. It’s the fact that she came from a wealthy family and blew every opportunity to really improve and better herself. I’m lucky enough to be in school right now and have parents who love the shit out of me and are helping me stay afloat while I study. I am at school 7 days a week to work with my classmates or do research. I don’t go out. I bust my ass at school, at the gym and in the kitchen. And this is why they help me. If I were her they would’ve locked my lazy lard ass in a treatment facility long ago till I tackled my personality disorder and discovered a work ethic. That’s the deal and I’m happy with it. I would feel horrible accepting help from them for me to sit on my ass. I don’t want this to be the case forever. I’m grateful for their support and feel incredibly lucky but I can’t wait for the day when my degree gets me to a great place in my career all on my own and I can genuinely thank my parents from the bottom of my heart and maybe, hopefully pay them back ever cent they spent on me. It is a crazy daydream I have sometimes but I really hope to do that for them some way as the ultimate thank you because I know I wouldn’t be who I am without them. But in order to do that I know I have to study hard and take really good care of myself. Some people are highly motivated whether they have wealthy families or not, sometimes its innate. The money doesn’t make a difference. Sure it can help. But ultimately it falls on an individual to deliver the goods to keep themselves in a good position and not make a fool out of themselves, even if someone helped them get there at first. No amount of coddling or parental interference will keep you at the top of your game. Exhibit A: Donkey!
Magazine Writer and Contributor Julia Allison Explains How To Get Your Work Published
1. Get on a
hotBravo TV show.2. Get handed column at Elle.
3. Profat!
Have column appear buried somewhere on website only because no1curr.
I made it to 1:14 before I actually surprised myself by saying, out loud, “I can’t do it.” and clicking stop.
BECAUSE OMYFUCKINGGOD THIS PART OF HER IS THE WURSTEST. The ‘writer’ shtick is so fucking offensive to anyone, ANYONE who’s really tried to make it in that racket. The establishing shot of her fucking Macbook Air, with the little notepad tucked underneath. I. Just. Kant.
Dear Greg…
From her Faceboooks
Happy. It’s snowing, it’s beautiful, I’m safe and warm snuggled in bed and this week has been filled with wonderful, deep conversations with friends, both new and old. Life, when you push beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone, becomes a hell of a lot more delicious as you return back into pleasure & ease after pain & stretching.
Yeah people who often have “deep conversations” reflect about it on Fb. She is a pseudo subhuman.
“Pain and stretching.” All righty then.
Also: YOU HEAR THAT DEBBIE?
I keep withholding my anger on this, but this is some dumb ass bullshit. No, you will not get hired if you work your ass off (every time) because some companies just fulfill their intern duty. And as a writer, you’ll probably get published sooner if you WORK hard and LIVE a damn ass life and submit well written work or keep on writing some good shit publicly (and I don’t mean HuffPo). But PLEASE don’t listen to me. I mean that. But most importantly, don’t listen to this monkeydickfaced ass bundle about what it’s like to get out there. Of COURSE intern, but don’t do it in any way guided by this taint bracelet. Shame on you, intern sushi. Do your frog fiddling research.
It’s patently offensive. This chick is literally a model to no one on anything. She’s like a text book case of unbridled narcissism, entitlement and failure. She’s an embarassment. Not someone to emulate. And that is why she gets fired, every time. Sorry, her contract is just never renewed but its totes mutual of course.
Also every good writer has at least one plagiarism scandal. Tell us about yours, Julia Alison, professional person!
Thank Greg it’s February, the most magical Cat Lady time of year: NYFW and Birthcray. When boyfriends and new besties run off screaming into the night.
It’s 3 AM and as expected, our girl is wide awake, posting to FB and twitter. And blessing us with pix like this:
too fat to be preident
too fug to be … anything
Oh my god!!!! The fucking prom dresses at fw it never ends!!’ Year after year! She looks so fucking retarded!!!
Seriously she’s been trotting out this look for over 4 years. It was awful the first time. Who told her this was in style! Booties check tween prom dress check terrible costume jewelry check. I can’t. Also that is a wrinkled mess. My god.
She would probably bray that it’s her ‘signature look,’ like Anna Wintour’s bob.
Bare shoulders & black tights … THE stupidest look ever …
Why is Julia Allison consistently dressing for fail at NYFW?
Every. Single. Time. Such inexplicable lengths just to get noticed.
And that new helmet of pelts, D0nkey? Looks shitacular, natch.
Well done, Julsie, well done.
That friggen neon pink “julia” sign immediately negates any professionalism she was trying to convey in this ridiculous interview.
I am convinced she will never grow up, she will never learn from her mistakes, and her father will be footing the bill forever. Her parents will keep enabling her until they die and then she will go after her “little brother” when she is broke. The hipster grifters have her convinced that she will never have to work a day in her life.
Bad choices, bad influences, no personal responsibility and she will never have any. She is a sad sad sad sack of an excuse for a human being. She will call this omg bullying but it’s not its just the damn truth. She flounces through life making excuses like an addict
and never being responsible for anything. There is no reasoning with an addict and until she gets lots of help and therapy she will never fracking change.
Just a shill for Intern Sushi to convince idiotic kids to work for free and “not talk to anyone” brilliant. did she get a free intern out of this? oh wait.