Julia Allison, frequent butt-squirter who infrequently adheres to her strict gluten-free diet, is gushing about her plans for an extravagant European vacation, fresh off the hooves of begging for someone, ANYONE, to pay her $6200 rent that she can’t afford. Yes, our Donkey-Ho-Tay is going to Spain! And she needs your help!
Devin and I are planning a three week trip to Europe this coming May (for Meagan Marks’ wedding in Spain, but also to travel around, and celebrate our one year anniversary!) If anyone has suggestions of where we ABSOLUTELY should go (or if they know friends … particularly friends with castles, LOL, message me!) And what do you think of Venice at that time of year? Romantic or overdone?
If you can please plan the entire itinerary for their romantic vacation. This sexy pair of lovers are currently preoccupied with the enjoyment of their permanent vacation. And be sure her pretty, pretty princess fantasies receive the royal treatment by arranging for free stays in castles. She’s willing to bring her own tiaras. Just one caveat: there will be no Debbie does Donkey in either Lake Como or Milan. Julia would be quick to remind you of noses past when previous lovers would fly her to Europe on a whim because she set her pussy powers to “Gold Digging Whore.”
Wow, this lampoon of a European vacation is four months away, and Julia is already reminding her unemployed boyfriend that she didn’t have to foot the bill the last time she went to Europe with a dude.
Mi burro quiere ir a España.
Cuidado!
“Past lovers?!” Ick! I’m with Liz Lemon: I skeeve the word “lovers” if it isn’t between the words “meat” and “pizza.”
HA. And such a weird thing to say too when you have a boyfriend, when you know he can see your facebook comments. I would be upset if my boyfriend talked about “past lovers” on his facebook page. She’s so selfish.
This just further underscores how fake Julia Allison’s BF sham is … who talks about old flames while planning an anniversary trip, if not someone who cares nothing about the feelings of their SO?
Too bad Debbois doesn’t have any ex-GF’s to flaunt back in D0nkey’s melting face.
Also, if they are truly exes you don’t care about and you are truly in love, you can be in any of these places and experience them in an entirely new way. You shouldn’t be thinking about exes if you’re truly happy.
It’s a bit insane.
seriously wtf is wrong with her.
she is crazy. I can’t process my how fuck into good words right now.
I’m fairly sure that Debbois quite literally couldn’t care less.
Also if you are such good friends with all your exes, wouldnt you refer to it as a trip you took with a friend of yours?
She’s carrie from SATC! Except IRL. She’s had many lovers and she’d been taken to Paris!!!!!!!
Vom.
Crap. My ringer was on silent.
I don’t want to go to places I went with past lovers but I have no problem announcing it all over FB for current “lova” and friends of “lova” to see.
If she was smart (hahahahaha) she’d read through the comments on this blog. You guys give great travel advice.
This is so true. I’ve saved a lot of places and tips mentioned. There really should be a RBD travel section.
The what do you think of Venice part is cracking me up…”romantic or overdone?” Julia might as well list every European destination cliche. Ugly. American.Hick.
Also “the countryside in France.”. There’s countryside all over of France, be specific.
Yeah, it’s a bit like saying “the countryside in America”. Hick.
I’m still trying to get over how she completely disregards ALL OF ANDALUCIA as a place to hang out. Instead “Should I just go somewhere else entirely like other countries?” LOL.
Geography is hard!
JUST LOOK ON THE MAP THEN GOOGLE. HOLY FUCK. START AT GRANADA THERE’S A CLUE.
Julia Allison Baugher: Clue-proof since 1981.
Copenhagen is boring!
I don’t even know how to form a coherent paragraph, she’s such a dolt….
1. “past lovers”– barf. If ANY of my friends posted this, I’d call the men in the white coats. Also: if you like a place, go there again. Every place I’ve been, I’ve been there with *someone.*
2. “the countryside in France”– that’s like “the countryside in America.”
3. She has no thoughts nor ideas. Think of something you’re interested in (Bernini’s sculptures, glass blowing, gardens, WWII battlefields, bird migration, cathedrals, a particular wine, whatever) and go there. I mean, who can’t think of what to do in Europe?
4. If your Facebook profile shot shows you doing Blue Steel, you are a toolbag. If your Facebook profile shot shows your boyfriend doing Blue Steel, you need psychiatric care ASAP.
5. What are they taking a vacation FROM???
On behalf of the United States of America, I apologize to the entire continent of Europe. We’re not unleashing her on you on purpose. And remember, we’re not ALL braying, clomping donkeys in pink platforms and greasy, squinty douchebags in white suits.
Awesome comment.
If Debbie is actually starting a job in SF, I’m sure they’ll be delighted when he asks for three weeks vacation immediately.
Right, my thought exactly. Did she say he had a job? All those self-made man books he’s read by now, does he need a job?
I think she stated he’s moving to SF for a job, she didn’t realize that he meant hand job though.
LOL. As Terry said on Reno 911, “A hand job is still a job.”
<3
I suspect he grifted a job through Ben Wa Balls or one of Donkey’s other famewhore SV contacts.
I’m telling you, twink pR0n.
I’m just happy she’s already been taken to Paris, so we’ll be donkey-free.
Besides, from what I understand, she prefers to bail on trips to Paris to find herself in a desert full of tools…
Of course! How could you forget those incredible paragons of high fashion: green glitter shoes?
Hang on, I’m on the other line.
LMAO!
Whoa, just wrote the same thing about the countryside and didn’t see your comment yet! Great minds…
Great minds think donkeys are ridiculous. (My apologies to the actual animal, which is adorable.)
Regarding #3: She isn’t asking for advice, she’s just
1) bragging
2) asking for invitations for free places to stay/things to do
2) asking for invitations for free places to stay/things to do
Which is another reason I have my doubts this trip will actually happen.
She and Dev are penning the International Grifters Guide. They need victims, I mean research.
First of all, let me repeat: stay the fuck away from here, hosebeast. *drops holy water bottle*
Secondly, let me also repeat that there’s this friend of my father’s who owns that little (and newish, as castles go) castle in “the countryside” and I am very sure he’ll welcome the famous Donkey and Debbois Double Act with open arms. Then there’s my oldest friend who owns a house in the Spanish countryside, oops, she and her HUSBAND own it, because she’s very tiny and very cute, and I know for a fact that they will be absolutely thrilled to host an illiterate but very very loud psycho grifter in filthy hoof covers + gummy girlfriend.
Thirdly, let me also repeat that this trip is about as likely to happen as the “vacay in Paris and Morocco with my sistahs!” a while ago, so boo hiss.
And fourthly: who in the actual fuck asks strangers online where to go on vacation? Tell me what I’m interested in and what I’d care to see and do! That’s right, the same barnyard person who also asks strangers online “can you suggest some of my favorite restaurants?” *ragequake* How about mimicking interest in something other than yourself and landing a wallet with just a LITTLE BIT of effort, hick?
I can’t even see the one-year anniversary happening, let alone the OMG! European! Romantic! trip. Donkey should not be counting (or braying/bragging about) her unhatched huevos at this point. Does she never learn?
Samesies. I’ll be surprised if Debbums is still with us come May.
He’s moving, a subtle action she has yet to fully grasp.
She’s not going to land a wallet. Debbie Seltzer is the best this flabby, unwashed, loud, crass, garish hick is going to get. Who the fuck else would want her?
I agree and yet, I think seeing the very expensive wedding of Megan (sp) Marks who is very tiny and cute and worth millions and her very rich successful boyfriend – and be surrounded by very rich, successful people is really going to bug an unemployed Donkey who is basically going to have to beg for someone to sublet her place for $6200 so she and her unemployed gay boyfriend can take this trip. It might be the tipping point.
I am feeling a little sympathy for Julia…. Having nothing work out for her (not the reality show, not nonsociety, no rich husband, no fox news gig, etc, etc) is rather sad, no matter how clueless and loathsome and ridiculous she is.
But she will surely be better when she does get some sort of job at a PR office or something, decides to build a meaningful life, eases up on the internet oversharing… She could totally do it!
Fuck her. She had every advantage handed to her, and blew up each and every one with her cuntiness.
She’ll never get a job in a PR office, or anything non-glamorous. She’ll never decide to “build a meaningful life.” Bitch will never change, except to get worse. For years, we’ve watched people come here and express high hopes for her pulling her head out of her ass and somehow magically becoming sane. Never happens. Never will happen.
She 2nd-date-blowjobbed a publisher and received a lucrative book deal. She can coast for a while.
Who did?
Even if she wanted to/tried, Julia will never get a job in a PR office because she’s spectacularly and publicly busted her own reputation and everything she has touched.
I used to have these moments of feeling sympathy for her too. Then I learned that she was inside. Point of no fucking return.
Wait, who says she got a lucrative book deal? There’s been zero about it in the book trade announcements.
I thought she mentioned she was writing a book…months ago. Seemed like a connected deal with “MisAdvised” Figured there had to money attached to it.
No way. She’d have to put together a proposal, and she doesn’t have the work ethic (or talent) to do that. And a proposal takes a lot of work. She’s not nearly famous enough to get a book deal just on the basis of her name.
Oh, no. She’s pretending to write a book but there is no deal and no book. You terrified me for a minute there!
Very astute, Malf. And hilarious, because I’m fairly certain what she’s asking her reader (singular and it stays) for are suggestions about where to stage a proposal. It would be hilarious if she fell at the final hurdle, cut down by her inate sense of GIMME.
Hilarious…and the perfect plot for a reality show.
Who is Meghan/Meagan/Meaghan Marks again? I can’t keep these “friends” straight.
Also, why is she so up Jordan’s butthole? (See Fecesbook post under the European Vacation one.)
I missed that Jordan link on her fb before. What is her recent stalking all about? I mean, it’s a post about Jordan’s love for her CHILD. I’m sure Donks is thinking “it’s just like my overwhelming love for MY MAN!”
I think a donkey would like her next persona to be that of an adult, and Jordan’s an adult with responsibilities, so a donk hopes she’ll seem like a grown-up by association.
she’s worth millions? Isn’t she the birthday chicken party apartment with bad caulk?
She is absolutely worth millions. Agree that she got ripped off on the NY apartment, but it was a rental—she owns places in London and I think Palo Alto.
How did she make her money? Anyone who hangs with Donkey can’t be all that bright…
I never implied she didn’t have money, just that the apartment was surprisingly ugly. Pointing out the lack of natural sunlight (“north facing windows”) and single pane windows w/ $3 tube of caulk was me being a weirdo, I guess. It didn’t really require a ton of analysis.
Early Facebooker. I don’t think she “hangs out” with Julie so much, either. Birthday chicken was a perfect illustration of how Julie thinks they’re closer than they actually are.
#LuxuryCaulk
Girl has some pretty impressive academic accomplishments to her name… you’d think she’d be smart enough not to have anything to do with a Donkey. http://www.crunchbase.com/person/meagan-marks
MM is good friends with Dave and Brit Morin, and Julie glommed on to her at the cowboy wedding (which they both attended as singles). Then Julie barnacled for dear life.
Sure, it’ll bug her. But it’s not like she’s going to be able to actually do anything about it. If she could’ve gotten better than a creepy, unemployed, lesbianic boyfriend with a seriously gummy mouth, she’d have done so already. Remember, she couldn’t even get cute guys to kiss her on “MisShapen” — so she better not be planning on nailing a wallet, let alone a regular dude.
He does get creepier and creepier, doesn’t he?
Yes. I hate it, but I have an awful feeling that this is going to end badly. Hideously, actually.
We know she can’t do better, but I’m not convinced she does. And even if she does know it on the average Tuesday, her inner rage beast will kick in when she sees the beautiful people and their free-flowing loot. When she hears about the gifts MM’s boyfriend’s friends send and then imagines the pile of self-help books and goat soap her MANshehasAMAN’s friends will bring to the table, she’ll go Mega Donkey and flee the stall.
We haven’t been snarking on her for years because she’s a sensible, well-balanced person who is capable of evaluating her options and making constructive choices; we point and laugh because she’s a psycho hellbeast who never misses an opportunity to screw herself and everyone else over.
I think that, on some level, she realizes it ain’t gonna get any better than Debbie Seltzer. Of course she wants better — a handsome, wealthy, successful, charming guy with a great personality. But, deep down, she has some sense that she couldn’t even get regular cute guys to kiss her, let alone take her on a second date. She knows she had to “settle” for Debbie, and she’s holding on like grim death…because she knows it’s the best she can do.
Worrisome, you just gave me the most schadenfreutastich (yes, I just made that up) thing to think about this afternoon! High Lame Grifter wedding gifts…
you rang the creep?
I didn’t mean to imply that she has any realistic chance of landing a wallet, I never thought she did. What I meant was that the fantasy of “landing a wallet” is one of the two things that occupy her dumbo brain, the first one being herself (based on pertheption and prethentation).
“And fourthly: who in the actual fuck asks strangers online where to go on vacation?”
1) PEople who humblebrag for breakfast.
2) People who, LITERALLY, cannot think of ONE PLACE on their own they would like to see in all of the cultural extravagance that is Andalucia. In a word, her.
You know, the more I think of the sheer idiocy of her latest humblebrag-for-cretins, the more I’m inclined to find it admirable in a sick way. I don’t think I ever met anyone who would publicly admit that they have NO IDEA how to have fun anywhere in Europe. That takes solid donkey balls (TM).
At least we know the answer to the question no one was asking, will Julia Allison try harder to a) make herself seem OMG SO INTELLECTUAL or b) make herself seem OMG SO JETSETTY AND IN LOVE. Seems like she’s willing to throw all pretense of knowing ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING if it means one more chance to namedrop her boyfriend/boast about her travel schedule. For everyone keeping score at home. She even throws HERSELF under the bus sometimes just to show the 4 ex boyfriend who aren’t watching that she is lovable, damnit.
If she were the least bit JETSETTY, none of these questions would ever be asked of the masses. Impersonating a wealthy person – ur doin’ it rong. For that matter, impersonating a person – ur doin’ it rong.
If I was in France I’d want to head down south and check out Monaco. I’ve always wanted to stop in to the Monte Carlo casino and order a martini shaken, not stirred.
A vacation from a life of no work. Mother F!
Hey, now. I could use a vacation from unemployment. Here I am debating lunch vs. gas in my car, and this bitch is going to Europe.
Maybe she is, and maybe she isn’t. She has a long history of failing to follow through on big plans.
She did, however, make it to Peru, which makes me think she’ll take this three-week trip. Debbie seems to force some follow-through….
And did she ever mention a word about that amazing spiritual journey? Still processing! In the queue!
Paradigms were shifted, fauxtos were stretched. The entire sum of that life-changing pilgrimage.
She put up what, two pics presumably taken in Peru, not fauxtshopped? No scenery pics, no one in her group tagged her in a fauxto? Hmm …
Oi, she’s an horrible cunt.
And I hope many Cockney geezers tell her that.
In Venice, or wherever the fuck she’s going.
I say this because I’m just sooooooooo disgusted, to the point of despair, with how our society rewards people for nothing more than having a wad of cash. It’s not fair, mommy! No, seriously. It’s not. I’m so bummed. And yes, I could take a 3 week vacation but I’d need to quit my job and save up $10K . So, yes, maybe in 2041 I will do that.
Wherever she go, there she will be.
And, trust me, you NOT want to be there.
I have been and karma still muddied up.
Namaste
lol. I am actually reading “Wherever you go, there you are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn right now. It is pretty amazing.
She should actually just ask which countries have the most internet cafes and which hotels have free wifi since the good lord know she’s not going to actually see the sights, take in the culture, explore the local cuisine or learn any history. Her photographs certainly won’t be of the architecture and she’ll spend the whole time Facebooking her “romatic anniversary trip” with pictures of herself and little Mr. No-balls that could have been taken at a rest stop in the middle of Ohio.
And how can you ask people for such a vague recommendation? Where should I go?! I don’t know, don’t normal people have a list of places they’d like to see? Maybe clarify what you’re into. Are you into cities, art, history, or are you less into walking around museums and more into relaxing on a beach? Have you always wanted to see the country your ancestors emigrated from or have an interest in WWII or the battle at Normandy or maybe you’ve been interested in Budapest ever since a friend told you what a great city she thought it was? HAVE YOU A SINGLE THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD?! Jesus Christ, she is such a dim-witted little twit.
“Should I stay in Spain, or go directly to another country on the European continent? Are there other cities in Spain to see, or should I just go to somewhere maybe in Italy? Or France, I hear it’s nice there??? Anyone???”
My first thought when I read the post was that she actually thought Venice was in Spain.
The only thing she knows about my continent is that rich boys used to pay for her trips over here. Money well spent, obvs.
She’s just bragging. That’s all it’s really about, as always.
MMBH is still shilling for botox treatments… this was posted today: http://www.morethanmary.com/2013/01/15/botox/
This is gonna send me directly over the edge today. I studied abroad in Sevilla. I can’t even begin.
Just go fuck and die. The end. Yes, please flee Andalucia the first chance you get, for France or wherever else, because you are too fucking stupid to know where to go in southern Spain without crowd sourcing all 70K of your paid for arabian spam bots.
/rant Also maybe consider paying your rent before you take vacations you cannot afford. Poor Dadsers retirement savings are dwindling fast.
In short, cunt.
I also can’t wait to laugh with my ungay Italian boyfriend later about the suggestion of Lake Como as a place to go in Italy. I’m assuming the Amalfi Coast is also filled with insufferable assholes like her. I’m just gonna take a wild guess wherever she goes/has gone/wants to go in all of Europe but esp in Italy is a terrible place compared to everywhere else there that people in the know actually go.
From wiki: “Lake Como has been a popular retreat for aristocrats and wealthy people since Roman times, and a very popular tourist attraction with many artistic and cultural gems” Of course this is where she has gone. George Clooney etc.
Re: Lake Como, Donk can only dream of a wedding like this http://s3.amazonaws.com/christianothstudio/clippings/pdfs/49/FW-Christian-Oth-84.pdf?1346955537
Seeing how her and Debbie will actually get married, that is going to be priceless.
Lake Cuomo? Villa del Balbianello?? Italy??
More like Villa della Wilmetta, overlooking Laco dei Michigan.
Or Palazzo Modesto, vicino alla autoruta novante e nove.
Totally agree, the contrast between what Donk “deserves” and what Debbie & Dadster will provide will be crushing. I was never implying a Lake Como wedding for our burro. I just remember seeing some pictures of that college classmate’s wedding.
Palazzo Modesto, vicino alla autoruta novante e nove, catering by Doc’s Q’in Pit Stop.
I…kind of like Lake Como…
It’s gorgeous. Pretending to be “over” places because they’ve been popular destinations for hundreds of years is ridiculous. Lots of Italians go to Lake Como for their honeymoon, because it’s beautiful. Lots of Italians go to Venice as tourists, because it’s beautiful.
at leatht her lithp will fit right in, in Andaluthia.
Ha! I was trying to find a way to make that joke.
NICE. xoxo
Also that makeup look, I just can’t. Was she going for the look of the undead? Nice thick charcoal line elegantly slapped around your shit brown eyes. And that lipstick is just so becoming…I think I had that frosty pink shade, it was made by Wet N Wild in 1985. Klassy.
Her complexion looks terrible there, too, like she just plastered a layer of thick, coagulated foundation over unwashed, desert-grit-imbedded skin.
I love this pic. It’s just so effin ghastly. White lips, blue steel.
Blüe Öyster Günt
god, give it a rest…
catlady @mrsfelineton 6h
@JuliaAllison Still with your beau? Miss seeing you on Tv. Hope all is well!
View conversation ·
Julia Allison
@JuliaAllison
@mrsfelineton – yes! Madly in love with him
planning our one year anniversary in Europe this May!
9:02 p.m. Tue, Jan 15
Talking about your one year anniversary when it’s 4 months away is so middle school. But kids in middle school have a higher statistical probability of 1) making it to their one year anniversary, 2) eventually being in a stable long term relationship, 3) holding down a job (e.g. babysitting, doing chores in exchange for an allowance), than she does.
God that’s sad. A middle-schooler actually has more responsibilities than a donkey does.
It’s JANUARY, Julia. May is months away. Gee, why not just plan your five-year anniversary trip already as well, no time like the present! Girl needs to calm down and see if she can make it to February with her latest “lover.” She’s acting like one year of dating – which is a milestone still MONTHS away – is the greatest accomplishment in the entire world. We’ve got ourselves a regular Louis Pasteur over here!
Book that Modesto Elks Hall for your 25th anniversary party! Anniversary party and tractor pull!
Pin the tail on the Donkey!
“mrsfelineton”
OK, which one of you cat ladies is “mrs. felineton”?
Haha, I just noticed that handle. felineton
Ooh, that’s good.
I’m sure it’s one of her fake names.
How why? Does she not realize? How irritating this shit is?????? Does she live on planet earth? Does she not realize the reason most people don’t talk about their significant others this way is because most other people aren’t insufferably? Or does she really not realize that she’s not the only dainty flower who is in love with another person? I can’t.
I can almost hear the collective eye roll every time she posts anything. I can only imagine the number of ppl on her friends list who have her posts on FB hidden.
That one’s on Twitter for the rabble….
I have ketchup that’s older than their relationship. Calm down, Mulia, you’re not a tweenager.
planning our one year anniversary in Europe this May!
Who remembers how many months beyond May that Goat Soap was still posting his bio / bile / buyall (Hai, MMBH!) to that singles meet-up board? That came down as soon as D0nkey read it here first?
HAPPY 1-YEAR MINUS-A-FEW-MONTHS-&-ANY-FUCKS ANNIVERSARY, you two
crazy kidsskeezy tards.JuliaAllison Julia Allison 6m
thanks Joe! pic.twitter.com/sgO7OtEH
What an awesome box of joy in the mail today from fellow Burner @JoeWinke at @HealthySurprise
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It’s kale chips and coconut water and the like…
She’s not a burner; she’s a touristy dipstick poseur who leaves her Mercedes at home and masquerades as a “hippie” for the weekend.
Srsly. She’s a Burner in terms of bridges, opportunities and relationships- really good at torching that shit- but, please.
I wish I could like your comment.
she’s a Barner.
Guys, what if she gets married at Burning Man this year? That would make my summer. She could hide that her parents aren’t willing to shell out on the Pre-Nup Barbie wedding of her dreams by pretending to want a Grifter Surprise (pronounced soo-PREEZ) extravaganza. Just the though of Little Brother’s response is enough to send me into glee overload.
DO IT, DONKEY! DO IT!
Just think: pink hemp wedding dress, all of the sweaty, strung out guests throwing ecologically appropriate pink sand at the bride as she departs on her Big Wheel, Little Debbie No-Balls in pink shorty shorts. It’s the stuff of which
dreamsnightmares are made.I dunno. As hilarzballs as that sounds, I’m hoping for a traditional wedding: a too-small dress that’s all wrong for her body, tacky decorations, bridesmaids who look like they wish they could be anywhere else. A thin crowd of “friends” because too many of them have “something else going on that same weekend, so sorry we can’t make it”. Toasts that barely disguise the person’s hatred of Julia.
So much this. No matter how much her parents are willing to spend, there’s no disguising the bride’s lack of friends.
Burning Man?
They won’t make it that far.
My bet is that they will be done by Memorial Day.
Traveling with the Donkey does seem to be the kiss of death, doesn’t it? Still, a girl can dream.
I speak 4 languages and as an American who loves Europe I absolutely DETEST these uneducated American idiots who go there, don’t even try to speak the language, discredit my nation and shit on the indigenous people.
Fuck you Julia – stay in Tinseltown where you belong you ugly fat cunt!
Nice humblebrag.
exactly!
Yeah douchebag.
This is it sheeple – engagement – that it’s ovah!
How do you figure that?????
So does this mean she’s not even going to attempt the bi-curious birthday cray this year?
I hate people like this…They ask a question but they don’t really want your advice.
“Tell me what I should do!”
“Uh…you could do this. Or try this.”
“Ok, well I was thinking I’d try these other things.”
They why do you ask people in the first place.
Oh, yes. So you can talk about yourself while someone is paying attention.
Lure them in (“Let’s talk about what YOU think”)
then do the ol switcheroo.
(“Booya, tee hee! It’s all about ME. As I was saying…”)
“Hi, does anybody have some tips about how to live my life? Thanks in advance!!!”
“Hi, should I get a Mac or a Dell??? What do you guys think???”
“Who is right? Israel or Palestine??”
No really should I just go elsewhere in Spain (but where??) or to Italy (How’s Venice? CORNY???) Or what about somewhere else entirely, like France? What about those places, any ideas about places in those countries I might wanna go??? Anyone have ideas? Please just keep them to yourself actually as this is only an excuse to namedrop this penis next to me for the 12th time today and I won’t follow anyone’s advice because my question is impossibly stupid anyhow. TEE HEE!!!!
This is really quickly becoming one of my fave JA moments.
Any place you suggest is a place I’ve already been taken to, by a MAN! A lover man! Men love me! I am a hot sexy donkey, hear me bray! Oh, and arrange some castles for me, HAAHA!
It is a truly magnificent moment. In years to come, we’ll be asking each other: “Where were you when Ol’ Donk asked about places in Europe?”
“Hi Julia! Love you on the telly, such a refreshing personality you are! My Grandmother has a castle in Bordeaux, it used to be a monastery. Anyway, you and your girlfriend can stay there! Don’t worry, they’ve solved the basement rat problem, you’ll sleep soundly. Granny drinks a lot, suffers from dementia sometimes, -she’s quite a character!- but she says you can stay there! In exchange for some scullery work and fireplace cleaning, and if you can show paperwork proving you’re not a Jewess. (Sorry about that, I know.) Anyway, let me know! You’re really special. xo!”
May I suggest a charming place in Venice? I’ll throw in a bottle of the local wine.
Did I say bottle?
CASK.
For the love of God, RollsRoyceRevenge!
How about a nice box of wine?
No one insults The Modesto Bungsniffer with impunity.
OT but catladies I’ve had a bunch to drink and my catman is out of town. I’m a little bummed because I work my ass off at a startup — as does the catman — and my idea of an indulgence right now is going to a bar or restaurant in the town we live in once in a rare while. I don’t know why I’m feeling sad that someone who is clearly a mess can even think about planning a trip to Europe but here I am saving every penny so that we could maybe start a life together or make a kitten and I would love to flit off somewhere and just enjoy each other. Which may never happen. I read articles about the economy and the changes of living expenses versus income and it just makes me sad that morons like Brit and JA and etc. get to play around with no real consequences while a wild night for me is extra beers at home. Ugggh I feel lame even typing this. Anyway, I’ve been reading RbDonk since it was RBNS at blogspot and you catladies bring me life and reality when I get this mopey. I know I should just be grateful to have a job and friends who circle round and a catman whose dick you can actually see (and how) if he was ever dumb enough to wear the shit Debbie wore at Burning Man, which thank god he would never. Just typing that cheered me up, so thanks catladies!
Ineffably Adverbial you are drunk.
JFAing myself, thanks JFA!
This is the only time I am ever rung.
But I feel you. There is no justice, sometimes. However if your “probable life partner” is into vagina you are way ahead of her.
It’s only because you really made it your own and it’s always so funny to see! No sad faces.
Exactly. No one else has had their username immortalized as a verb! I’d be proud.
If your “probable life partner is employable, has friends, and doesn’t have a gummy mouth so creepy that vaginas shut themselves down, you are way ahead of Donkey.
In addition to all of that, feel grateful that you are a normal person with normal connections to other humans, not a profoundly sad internet-addicted idiot soused in (failed) scheme juices and wrapped in moldy polyester with a tiara. Don’t let her stupid bullshit bragging let you down. This is one desperate donkey we’re talking about here. She’ll never have what you have.
Thanks, Helena! Like I said above, you catladies always provide a reality check and dose of sanity when I need it. Never change, RBDonk!
ask jacy for my email and I will send you miles
CDB you are the best — that’s an amazingly sweet offer. But if I grift off of you, I’m no better than the Grifty Breakfast Club Julia’s landed in!
I can understand how you feel Ineffably. Getting a 3 week vacation to Europe is such a luxury!
But, I can’t imagine that really, really looking at Julia’s life would make you feel anything other than relief that you are not her.
I mean, think about, for example, the many humiliations of Miss Advised. If my parents had watched me on national television casually announce that I gave a guy a blow job on our second date…. I mean sheesh. I cannot imagine how shocked and hurt they would be. Even THINKING about making them go through that makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.
Then there’s all the other insanities like begging that guy to kiss her like some kind of lunatic, inviting herself to SF in order to have “the talk” with someone who clearly had no interest in her, revealing herself to be so incompetent at her “job”. I mean, JEEZ, how horrifying to have all of my family and friends (not to mention millions of strangers) see me as such a personal and professional failure. I would honestly never leave my house again if I was her.
Now, of course, Julia is more resilient than me (read: doesn’t have the good sense to be ashamed) so she’s skipping along on her merry way, like she has with every other crushing failure.
But that makes it even worse. To err is human. But to have it be the case that THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE has such fundamental problems of which you are not aware…. how fucking awful. I am far from perfect, and I certainly have fucked up in countless ways, and feel countless frustrations over goals I want to reach etc. But, as best as I can tell, I am decent, sane person.
Are you also a decent and sane person? Yes? Then congratulations! You are ahead of the game! Julia should be jealous of you! If only she had the good sense to know it….
If my parents had watched me on national television casually announce that I gave a guy a blow job on our second date….
The “Fuck You Money” Boogers don’t shell out for even basic cable.
Thanks, Jen! In the sober light of day I know you’re absolutely right
Being sane at home beats being crazy on a transatlantic flight.
This is from one who knows.
When is this cunty failure going to run out of Granny’s money?? Seriously, I think she got 100k. Maybe at the end of the trip when her lease ends coincidentally…
Keep burning the cash, you fucking skank. SO BLESSED you’re getting grifted by The Modesto Bungsniffer. Soon you will be back at your parents’ condo. Alone.
“Modesto Bungsniffer” – Sounds like a potential handle if anyone needs one
We’ll know the exact moment she’s burned through NGMB’s inheritance: Little Debbie will be out the door and after his new mark.
That picture of them gives me the stabbies and I am a mellow cat
She just posted on Facebook:
Looking for an eligible (ie: single), good-looking 30-40 year old range guy in the LA area, driven in his career (successful/smart- doesn’t have to be a baller per se, just on a good solid track careerwise) and appealing to appear on a national tv show matched with a hot woman … message Amy Laurent if you’re interested!
Does this mean the Donkey show got another season?
was this written by MMBH?!
“ie:” [sic!]
“30-40 year old range guy”
“appealing to appear” — willing to appear??
Maybe this explain D0nkey’s
suddenrenewed interest in all things THE BACHELOR ? But WHY? does she think Amy needs or wants her help?Ben-FM Presents Valentine’s Day Mile of Meet
January 11, 2013
Let 95.7 BEN-FM help you find your Valentine on Friday February 8 (6-10:30p) at Manayunk Brewery & Restaurant (4120 Main St, Manayunk, PA). It’s the 9th Annual 95.7 BEN-FM Mile of Meet.
At 7:45pm, BEN-FM will line up a mile of eligible bachelors on Main St. in Manayunk. Each bachelor will be holding a number. Single women will be able to walk down the street and “man shop”, jotting down the numbers of the men they are interested in on their ’shopping list’.
At 8:15p, everyone heads inside to mix and mingle. The women can approach any man that they wrote down on their ’shopping list’ or ask for help making an introduction through one of the many BEN-FM Icebreakers in attendance . Icebreakers are BEN staffers that will help a guy or girl make the initial introduction to someone they are interested in meeting.
A live DJ will keep the party moving and BEN-FM Morning Personality, Marilyn Russell, will host an evening full of games and activities aimed at getting listeners acquainted with each other. She’ll be assisted by Philadelphia’ s Craig Robinson from TV’s The Bachelorette as well as Amy Laurent, star of Bravo TV’s Miss Advised. Laurent was voted among Oprah’s featured “9 Female Power Players.”
Women do not need to pre-register for the event. Guys do need to pre-register for the event. Guys can register online now at ilikebenfm.com or on February 8 between 6pm-7:30pm. The first 100 male contestants to register will receive a free drink ticket, as wells as a carnation that they can give to the lady of their choosing.
““9 Female Power Players.”
This has to be a joke. Amy’s a power player for perpetuating a stereotype about “dating rules” for ALL THE GIRLS? Or for promoting gold digging? WTF. Is Patty Stanger also on this list?
I wouldnt be surprised if amy didn’t even ask Julia for help, and Julia just took it upon herself to post this ad
I’d pay a catfriend to reply, “Why, are you looking for one?” or “Speaking of good, solid career tracks, what’s yours?”
This is two days old, but:
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
“If the universe exists, it exists inside your own mind and the minds of others.” – The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing
Aside from the abstract nonsense of that, she’s really tiresome in her endless dumb pose of pretending to know jack shit about “marketing” or “branding” or whatever. She’s not an expert, because she’s too fucking lazy. Why does she act as if she is?
Julia, here’s your “brand”- a dusty can of expired tuna fish laced with botulism.
What the fuck does the idea that the universe is only extant as a set of perceived opinions about its objective nature figure into a plan to sell Middle America a laxitive that really works?
STAY OUT OF CINQUE TERRE, YA TWAT.
my thoughts exactly!
And now she’s crowd sourcing bullfighting names for some party before the wedding WHICH IS 5 MONTHS AWAY. She really has nothing going on.
If that is not the behavior of someone gloriously in love, well I don’t know what is. Certainly ppl who are so in love have endless amounts of free time to post inanities on fb and tester ALL DAY LONG.
Jesus, get offline at least a few hours less a day and go attempt coitus with your homosexual bf or something. Go have a deep convo about something you skimmed in the Atlantic. SPARE US for once.
I love bullfighting. Love it.
However, this is not going to go over with Julie’s new woo-woo circle, because bullfighting is right up there with wearing fur for most hippie types and eco-conscious types
My iPad awarded me both ears and the tail of my comment!
Anyway, bullfighting is so NOT cool in the pescechickatarian Namaste crowd Jujubeans runs with these days.
I’ve got a destination suggestion for her, though.
My iPad awarded me both ears and the tail of my comment!
This is so beautiful; I can’t look away. Is there a Pulitzer for blog comments?
I’d support that comment’s nomination.
Sometimes I think she gets invited places on a dare. Can you imagine being responsible for her presence in a place where she will only insult the locals and mock the culture? Donkey doesn’t have the capacity to appreciate anything that cannot be experienced or acquired at a stripmall in Jersey.
Yeah, I just…I. Many, many ppl in Spain are horrified by bullfighting, as am I, as a veggie person who doesn’t want to eat dead things anymore. And she needs to STFU about being an “almost vegan pescetarian” bla bla if she is gonna go ranting about bullfighting. Talk about animal torture. What an asshole.
They’re not actually going to a bullfight. It’s just some dumb theme for a party.
Ah okay. Reading her FB makes me want to kill myself so I try to avoid.
That’s even stupider. At least an actual bullfight is entertaining and supports the local economy. A fakin’ bacon/soysage-style bullshitfight-themed party of pathetisads is the real crime against the universe.
Although I would pay SO MUCH MONEY to see Julie cram herself into a cheap costume version of the matador’s suit of lights. I would never ever ever stop laughing.
But still! I don’t eat meat and if someone invited me to a bullfighting-themed party my reaction would still be “ugh, gross.” (Well, that or to show up as an ox in a balaclava and fuck some shit up.) Julia’s “vegetarianism” is as much of an image thing as everything else about her.
I have to agree that as a non-consumer of meat, I would be even more grossed-out/puzzled about the stupidity of a bull fight themed party.
Also, didn’t Julia claim she had read some of Peter Singer’s work at one point? I think this was discussed just days ago…
Still, it’s a bit like having a concentration camp party.
I’m a carnivore and a proud member of PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals), and I’m disgusted by bullfighting.
I’ve never bought that eating fish is necessarily better than eating any other animal. There are a great many fish species (also squid) that are over-fished. Whole Foods and other groceries have stopped carrying these species. Julia really doesn’t care about any of this.
Julia really doesn’t care about any of this.
We could end every comment with this sentence and it would always be accurate.
Also, you can’t just toss around the term “vegan” anytime you eat a meatless, dairy-free meal. By a donkey’s logic, Ted Nugent is vegan when he’s snacking on an apple. Veganism means no leather; no beeswax, carmine, or lanolin in cosmetics; no feather pillows (or boas); etc. etc. etc.
If you eat no animal products whatsoever, you’re a “total vegetarian” or “strict vegetarian.” And she’s not even that.
TRANSBRAYTIONS DEBBOIS MUST LEARN:
“Yo soy lesbiana novio de Burra”
(I am lesbian boyfriend of Donkey)
“Sin ella nunca se calla”
(No she never shuts up)
“Burra debe comer sin-gluten! ¿No sabes quién es”
(Donkey must eat gluten-free! Don’t you know who she is?)
“Ella los alquileres lujo calado en Marina amarillor Bray!”
(She rents luxury stall in Marina yell Bray!)
“Tio, que usted ha visto mi pelota saco”
(Dude, have you seen my ball sack)
Hilarious! Some more….
“A mi burra le gusta rebuznar muy fuerte. No se asuste”
(My donkey likes to bray very loudly, don’t be afraid)
“Quiero comer hamburguesas. Donde está In’n'Out?”
(I want a burger. Where is In’n'Out?)
“Ahora no, estoy con mi novia. Dame tu telefóno y te llamaré cuando ella esté durmiendo”
(Not now, I am with my girlfriend. Give me your number and I’ll call you when she is sleeping)
“Donde esta Whole Foods? Mi burro necesita chocolate”
(Where is Whole Foods? My donkey needs some chocolate)
“Que tren me lleva a Chueca?”
(What train to Chueca?)
My spidey sense is tingling this morning. Albie notes above the Julie glommed on the MM at Britt’s wedding and that they aren’t as close as JA is pretending. Obviously, invitations for destination weddings go out several months in advance, but we don’t actually know that Julie has gotten one. Maybe she’s trying to shame MM into inviting her by publicly presuming to be on the list.
Or maybe this is just cankleshausen and I should lie down until it passes.
Maybe it’s cuz I’m a poor but who goes to a fucking destination wedding of a tangential “friend?” Jesus Christ she needs to get a fucking life. I wouldn’t even expect those beyond my immediate family to attend that kinda thing. I don’t understand people. Not only is she going, she won’t STFU about it five months prior. Basically her occupation now is attending weddings.
I have a pretty solid equation for how far I’m willing to travel for a wedding based on how close I am to someone, length of friendship, how much fun the wedding is likely to be and cost. Someone I barely know who’s getting married on another continent? That wedding would have to sound like an absolute blast and fit into the normal timeframe and cost of my vacation for the year. Otherwise, you get a nice card and a bottle of wine when you get back from your honeymoon.
Yes! I have a friend who moved to Germany who got married over there, and I went because she is a very close friend and was even a roommate for a time (unlike Julie, I’m actually still friends with my former roommates aka “sisters!”). I also knew it would be awesome, I could afford it at the time and I was able to take the time away from my desk errands. I also planned a personal vacation around the wedding, which I was able to do by relying on my wits because I’m not a completely useless donkey. Meaning, I thought about where in Germany and wherelse in Europe I wanted to go, what made the most sense financially and geographically, researched these things and asked my friend in Germany and some friends who had also been to my potential destinations their opinions. Normal people do not need to crowd source from the entire internet, “OMG where should I go! On an entire continent! For my one-year anniversary that’s still five months away! For a wedding of a friend that’s not even really that much of a friend!”
She and Megghanne Marks seem like such casual friends, like the type of friend that you probably wouldn’t even go to the wedding if it was anywhere you’d have to book even one night in a hotel to attend, like Philly to NYC or something. And I feel like people who have destination weddings expect certain people can’t come and that Julia might be one of those guests Meghan figured really wouldn’t show up, because why (and HOW) would she fly all the way across an ocean for this?!
Seriously, who is paying for this? Is it all from granny’s estate? And I just have to echo what you’ve all asked a million times before, what the heck is she going to do when it runs out?! Her parents have been paying for her entire lifestyle – outside of what she grifts of course – but the Baughers aren’t exactly the Romneys. Although plentiful, especially compare with the average family, their money can’t last forever, especially if they’d like to retire comfortably at some point. And also have something to give their other child and any potential grandchildren.
And I am tots jealous she can plan a three week European jaunt because I don’t have the time or money for that kind of trip and would love to plan a great vaca, but at least I have a real job, an apartment I can afford, don’t live in Marina del Bray and I don’t have a ball-less boyfriend.
Well, she’s apparently closer friends than people think if she’s invited to the bachelorette party…
Don’t be jealous, Powerful Moms! Donkey and Debbie are going to travel on the ultra cheap. They’ll be staying wherever they can get a stall free or cheap, and they’ll travel on the European equivalent of Bolt Bus. This ain’t a 5-star luxury vacay.
And I’m still not convinced this trip is going to happen.
I’m a friend of a friend of JA’s on Facebook so I can see some of her non-public updates, and she posted something about packing for MM’s “1983 themed Bachelorette camping trip, on a remote island in Florida.” MOSQUITOES!!!!!
Ah, I stand corrected. JA is still sad, but MM might be even sadder.
I have only met MM a few times at parties in the Bay Area, but what I hear is that she is brilliant but cray-cray.
Nah, she’s just got tons of money and a desperate need to be quirky.
She also looooooves the outdoors, hence the whole “living on a boat after the wedding” thing. Odd, but not pathetisad like An Donkey.
I’m gauging MM’s sadness purely off inviting Donkey to her bachelorette party. Apparently she doesn’t mind alienating her real friends if she’d inflict Princess Buttsquirt on them in the great outdoors. The braying alone will be painful.
Eh, her friends group includes Brit Morin, so she obviously has a high tolerance for stupid, which is always a useful quality in Silly Valley.
I think too that people are often flattered when someone, no matter how awful, is incredibly persistent in trying to be friends with them. Of course this is dumb.
when someone tries really hard to be my friend, it worries me and i try to cut off as much contact as I can.
Oh Jesus, I should have heeded that advice.
I became friends with someone this past year on mostly her initiative. She was pleasant enough and liked to go spinning so I figured what the hell and we became friendly and would go to spin class a couple of times a week and occasionally go for brunch after.
I made the terrible mistake of going on a weeklong road trip with her in November. And she was a complete cuntarific hosebeast, had a complete hysterical meltdown at one point when I asked if anything was wrong and why she was so “snappish” — it was so bad that I had to fake a family emergency and hop on a plane to escape her and go back home. She later blamed her awful behavior on PMS and apologized.
But I ran into her recently for the first time since the trip while I was with another friend and she was a total cunt, as in “how dare you have other friends?!!?!!” kind of cunt. Rude and hostile and angry, wouldn’t even say hello to my other friend when I introduced them, just glowered at her and stalked off.
I later emailed her and asked her WTF, and she denied any knowledge of what I was talking about, just said she was a bit spaced out from a run and surprised to see me.
What should I do about this loon, cat ladies?
Well put (as usual), Albie, and I totally agree. I don’t want to diss any former Donkey fans who have seen the light and are here with us now, but I have always suspected that shameless stalkery persistence, together with bizarre over-the-top flattery full of stupid adjectives and lots of braying, is the true face of what some have described as Donkey’s “superficial charm.” I mean I’ve always seen her as a 110% charmless person, someone I’d pay good money to avoid at a party, even if I had no idea about the depths of her sociopathic donkeyness. Loud, dumb, pushy, aggressive, ignorant, loud, uncultured, classless, horribly dressed and painted, attention whore, only speaks in stupid clichés, hickiest hick in the entire Hickville, loud, incapable of listening, humorless, couldn’t care less about the outside world, cheap, incosiderate, and LOUD. This is what IMO shines through her prethentation in all of the five Donkey-starring videos I’ve seen.
Really fucking loud!!
Jacy, Flywheel or Soul Cycle?
Vida Fitness.
“1983 themed Bachelorette camping trip, on a remote island in Florida.”
you can’t make this shit up!
Right?!
With all due respect to JP, Jacy, RRR, and all you other comedians, that line might be the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen here.
Because the wedding in Sevilla clearly wasn’t enough for these assholes. Why not just ask for $5000 gifts from all attendees and call it a day. So over the wedding hysteria industry.
THIS. i have had e-fucking-nough of these destination bachelorette parties in particular. get the fuck over yourselves.
I don’t even know what that means…Christie McNichol will be there?
They’re all gonna wear Jordache jeans, fuzzy sweaters and feather their hair..
Omg
Dumb question but- are there islands in Florida that are really that “remote”? I mean, it’s still Florida and you can get there, right? It’s not a desert island in the vast Pacific or something.
Knowing how dumb she is, it could be on Key West or something.
Sanibel?
Caladesi?
Useppa?
Cuba?
As noted below, she was also invited to the bachelorette party in Florida, so they must be closer friends than people know.
posted wrong place…
Terrible intrusive people always hint at getting invitations. Birthday chicken is a good example!
Uninvited Donkey’s surprise appearance at bachelorette party camp-out:
I’m not convinced. Remember how she invited herself to Randi’s bachelorette party?
Sadly, I haven’t followed RBD in a while but after catching up I just have to comment… After all this time, she’s now with some penniless dolt from Modesto? Crowd sourcing lodging in Europe? For an anniversary that’s 4 months away? And aligns herself with other penniless grifter shilling nobodies? How… sad and unfortunate. It seems she’s spinning her new life into an expected enlightenment and as if it’s the track she actually wants to be on in life. In truth, this new reality is her reality. No amount of ‘I’m blessed! I’m happy!’ tweeting is going to convince me otherwise.
I miss the days of her yacht excursions in sunny St. Barth, skiing in Colorado or Utah or wherever, and the glamour of being ‘upgraded’ on flights to Pensacola and then on to the Home They Shared in Boranado.
And anyone ‘jealous’ of her 3 weeks in Europe, just know this: It won’t happen. If it does happen, would you want to stay in a strangers home and have no privacy? All to save a buck. So embarrassing after the age of 21. If you can’t afford it, don’t go. Classless. A little tip, J.
Yep, I’d love a three-week trip to Europe, but I’m not Julia, so I’d consider myself the clear winner here for sure.
Thing is, she’s so classless that she wouldn’t even mind or realize she had no privacy in a stranger’s home… because it’s all about her. I feel sorry for whoever she stays with (if this trip actually happens, or disappears like the Davos report).
want a sick laugh? Google Maps car ran over the donkey:
http://thenextweb.com/shareables/2013/01/16/no-fox-news-google-did-not-run-over-a-donkey-in-botswana/
Well damn it it had donkey in the title
BTw have you tried Donkey chips..they make them here in Chicago..
http://www.donkeychips.com/
OT: Anybody seen her latest facebook post? It’s beyond funny…..
“I need advice … and it’s serious. The Spanish wedding of Miss Meagan Marks requires that I aquire a “Bull-Fighting Nickname” … like “Pepe El Gigante” or “Lolita La Furiosa” or “Bam Bam.”
What should my nickname be? Meagan thinks it should be “Pink Picante” … And Devin Stetler needs one too.”
La Burra Loca y su Novio Maricón?
“Hi again! I know no one actually believes that I am really in need of this much advice. I just want another excuse to mention that I am going to this wedding! So yes…I am going to this wedding. And Devin is coming! Now please say something cutesy about me!”
Bland Debbois is going to a bachelorette party? Makes sense.
La Burrita “Especial” y “La Debbois” el Eunuco, con sus amigos estafadores.
La Debbois Diamante, por favor!
La Debbois Gayo
I suggest “Dumb Fuck”.
Gets my vote.
Hay-SOOS, Donkey. If the bride has assigned you a nickname, go with it. You’ll probably be the asshole who assigns people new hair colors and significant others in advance of your CrayCray Festival. A nickname that no one will bother to use for one night of your life is not worth a second thought.
This sounds like Donkey called the bride in order to talk about herself under the guise of talking about her nickname for the bride’s party and was met with an even more powerful self-involvement force field.
La Donk Desempleados
“A nickname that no one will bother to use for one night of your life is not worth a second thought.”-
So very true, but this broad really has nothing else to do with her time, and narcissistic cutesy shit like this is her crackpipe.
La Rosa Estafadora
Talk about NOTHING going on in her life. I mean, a wedding that is 4 months away, and her only ‘to-do’ is come up with a moronic Bull Fighting NicknameTM for herself and her Witless Dickless DunceTM. A task that would take anyone not stunted all of two minutes and HAHHHAAHAHAA I picked a nickname!!!!!111!1 Also, stop making this other woman’s wedding about you and your nickname. I can bet they already regret the invite, more now than when they regretted the postage, and then regretted the actual drop off at the post office. I can imagine the bride is annoyed, the groom is ‘I told you so’ing’ and the Witless Dickless Dunce is doing herkes on the beach in Marina del Neigh and twisting to I Wanna Dance With Somebody.
I want WDD for my new handle.
I’m gonna guess the chick who would have two destination events (bachelorette plus European wedding) is probably ticked pink that anyone is talking about her. But agree, Sad Donkey is sad now. And manic. She needs a mood stabilizer or a xanax and to calm the fuck down.
La Burra del Muerte
Dear God, NO! Not in my hood, El Burro Loco & La Debbois Diamante & Idiot Thorney! “San Diego here I come! (well … Here WE come – @Lillydog called shotgun) ROADTRIP! Can’t wait to see @KristinThorne
” BOXES + TAPE! BOXES + TAPE!
I’m thinking Debbie is out of town or working or something. She tends to tweek/fb when she’s alone. Also she would NEVER go to see a friend without bringing her other lapdog.
w–w–w–wo–wo–wor— what’s that?
Are we all bullfight-ifying our usernames now?
Threat Level: PINK!
Google did not kill the donkey
http://vrge.co/10c66zf
Could not help but think of donkey when I saw this
If she dumps Debbie, this will be why:
20) Summary: NBC Casting Bachelorettes Who Would Like to Meet Mr. Perfect
Name: trina dailey Talk Show
Category: Entertainment and Media
Email: query-2r65@helpareporter.net
Media Outlet: Talk Show
Deadline: 7:00 PM EST – 18 January
Query:
Casting single ladies who are ready to meet Mr. Perfect.
We’re looking for adventurous, outgoing, single women between
the ages of 35-50, petite, educated and AMAZING talkers who are
looking for love and interested in meeting an eligible bachelor.
If interested, email recent photos, contact info and some
information about you.
Requirements:
Experts – Please do not respond.
–
But maybe this would finally prompt her to drop the “expert” lies?
By the way, how fucking stupid that you have to be “petite” for this. What’s wrong with being tall?
They’re looking for a less offensive way to say “no fatties.” They haven’t found it.
You might be taller than the bachelors, and that would never do.
I think they want people who are both slender and short, hence “petite” rather than “slender”.
Breaking: she is tweeting about visiting Coronado for the first time since the home she share with the belt!
I guarantee she is WEARING that belt.
I thought you were teasing. Nope, El Burro Loco is indeed twattering about “trying on clothes from a former life.” Give it a rest, asshole. You were barely with Jack McCain for a couple of months before you moved yourself in, magazines and all, and he discovered your cray in full donkey bloom.
Get outta my town!
Trying on belts from a former life.
JACKY COME BACK!!!!! I MISS YOU!!!!! AND YOUR FAT WALLET AND HIGH STATUS MARKER PARENTS!!!!!!!!!
Geez, she down graded from military millionaire with a Porsche to unemployed-needs to rent out his apartment to make ends meet-rides a bike. LO fucking L.
Serious Karma.
sometimes when I’m sad I just compare debbie seltzer to the guys she used to think she was too good for – Charles Forman, Dave Morin, etc. – she would kill for that now
She never really thought she was too good for Dave Morin—that was just sour grapes on TMI Weakly because he was already dating Idiot Girl Brit and didn’t succumb to Julie’s charms.
The photos from that wedding are hilarious because you can see how Borin Morin is terrified of her. In every photo of the two of them, he is straining away from her with all his might.
Brit does seem like a ditz, but prior to Brit & Co she had a steady stream of jobs with good companies (Google, Apple, fb – I don’t remember in what order). Loopy, maybe. But not lazy. And do I really need to point out how much more attractive Brit is compared with Le Donk?
OH MY CATS THE DONKEY SHOW IS GETTING GOOD AGAIN! I just knew it would! So blessed!
Why is Thorne-y in San Diego anyway? Is she from there?
OT catlovers, enough the Julia chatter, let’s talk about MEEEEEEEEEEEE
You guys have been so amazing dolling amazing advice (travel! make up! hosiery! and more!), I would love to use you like the dirty whores you are to get some advice on my travel plans.
I just booked ***my first vacation, ever*** (I am a poor, and held at least one job, continuously since I was 16) to Puerto Rico during March. Would anyone here have a recommendation on hotel/resort/rental? I just looked for deals and it’s seems that I made a mistake booking a plane ticket (although at a very low price) before checking out the hotel prices… From what I saw, the prices are around 100/night and I cannot afford that a turtle’s wink. I am already regretting and feel extremely guilty about spending so much money on myself when I am still in school, but that’s a whole different set of issues.
I am there for 7 days and I would LOVE to spend no more than $400 (although I think $500 is more reasonable). I am not looking for an all inclusive deal, because I do want to experiment with the local cuisine.
The primary purpose of this trip is to RELAX on the beach, but I will definitely do a lot of touristy things as well. I would love recommendations on things to see or visit, outside of what the lonely planet or other guides suggest.
Thank you in advance, everyone! xx
Also, my boss is giving me a bit of a hard time about taking the week off. I would really appreciate any advice on how to talk to her about that.
I work in psychiatric research on a study focusing on adolescents: my boss is giving me a hard time, as I am her “right hand” in the study and, because the trip happens during spring break, many of the children who participate in this research will be off from school, therefore easier to schedule.
I worked with her for the last 3 years and I have never taken more than 2 days in a row off (including sick days). I have plenty of vacation days accrued, personal and sick days available as well. I have accrued overtime hrs on top of that.
Is she even allowed to do that? I am giving her two months notice.
Thank you thank you thank you
honey, lincoln freed the slaves. there’s a movie out about that now.
*sigh* i know. I’m quarter Jewish and all inherited (of the stereotypes) is the pure, unadulterated guilt.
She would say over and over that these times are the worst to take off, because blah blah. And she needs to confirm it’s ok with the big ole boss.
It is really quite simple (and I’ve earned the right to say this without hesitation):
There is never a good time to do anything. Therefore, you either do it when you want, or you never do it.
But just to clarify, as I feel like i am misrepresenting them: I never asked for time of before, bc frankly, I never needed it therefore my vacation days accrued. Because I’m in school and could never justify the price, I never went on any real vacations. I never have issues taking a day off, here and there, or calling out sick, I just rarely do. I really think the only problems is that those dates are difficult for their project (they have deadlines, and targets they need to reach and school breaks are times where we make up for a lot of recruitment lapses).
I used to feel that way too. The reason you boss is saying all this stuff is b/c she KNOWS it will get to you and you might change your plans. I suggest you alternate between the following when she complains… “Oh I know it will be busy, but I tust you guys can muddle through without me!” and “I know you’ll miss me…just think about how happy you’ll be when I get back!” That should shut her up. Nothing worse than being badgered for the next two months about a vacay you’re supposed to enjoy!
Don’t feel guilty. You deserve this time off. Nobody can’t be lived without for a few days. Have fun, enjoy yourself and your boyfriend. Whatever you do, don’t promise to be available!!!! UNPLUG COMPLETELY.
You guys ara amazing, thank you! I will definitely use your suggestions. <3
AirBNB? It’s been so long since I was there, couldn’t tell ya where I stayed or if it was nice.
I did look into AirBNB, but I am not sure how I feel going to someone’s house with my boyfriend in tow and have loud sex in their house (ekhem)…
I saw some private cottages are offered for rent, but at rates similar to a hotel, but it’s definitely something I’ll turn to if all else fails.
Thank you!!
Have you looked into the hostels? You can usually get a private room for $20-$25 per person per night.
A good way to save money is to stay way from the touristy areas if possible. Do some research on where to stay away from, but getting off the so-called “beaten path” is a great way to not only save money, but get a better sense of the country. Street vendors almost always have the best food, and it’s cheap.
That’s actually a brilliant suggestion! I will definitely look into it! GRAZIE!
Also look at Homeaway.com and flip key.
Thank you!
The “rainforests” is PR aren’t that exciting. If you’re thinking about spending money to take a bus excursion to see them…I’d skip it.
My boyfriend and I stupidly did that. After a long-ass bus ride, our “hike” was a five-minute stroll through the trees on a paved walk. I’ve traversed rougher terrain in Central Park.
I remember taking a bus tour up to the rain forest. It was an open bus. We got soaked. We were promised hot chocolate at the gift shop. Gift Shop(pe) was closed, due to rain. Worst joke ever.
I think PR is a big blank in my mind because we scooted over to St. Thomas & (sp?) Megan / Meagan / Meghan / Meaghan / Meghann / Meaghann’s Bay wayyyy early. I remember a casino in PR & that’s about it.
I’m from St. Thomas! And I’m currently sitting there! And Magens Bay is my favorite beach! This is my favorite picture of Jesus, and I believe in him, so God bless you!
I loved, loved, loved St. Thomas. Such a beautiful island and the people were so proud.
Vieques or Luquillo are a lot more exciting.
This is true, also I think you meant to say Culebra. Luquillo is a city in Puerto Rico. Unless you meant Luquillo, and you just think it’s more exciting than the rest of Puerto Rico..
Luquillo has a great beach (San Juan doesn’t really have any). I shouldn’t have said “interesting”. Luquillo is also near Fajardo, which would be a good place to see. I think you can take a ferry from Fajardo to go to Culebra & Vieques.
Viejo San Juan is another great place to visit. Suprisingly NOT expensive. I would stay there instead of staying in Condado (where most people stay in San Juan). Go to the Pablo Casals Museum & La Fortaleza!
I haven’t been to PR in 10 yrs and obviously forget a lot of things.
I agree completely, I just assumed you were attempting to name other nearby islands.
OMG it was on my “definitely to do list.”
Thank you!!
I would suggest checking out the beach rentals in Boqueron, or El Combate in Cabo Rojo. You can get an entire beach house or apartment for cheaper than a hotel stay, and you’re close to lots of cool stuff to do but far away from the more touristy, more expensive attractions. If you do end up on the more touristy side of the island (like the San Juan, Isla Verde, Condado area) definitely check out the ziplining in Campo Rico!! Totally worth the price of admission!
http://www.camporicoziplining.com
Also, as far as cheap street vendors and awesome local cuisine, it doesn’t get much better than Piñones. The beach isn’t the greatest, though.
http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g147319-d148596-Reviews-Pinones-Puerto_Rico.html
Hope this helps!
Thank you! those look incredible! added to my to do list.
And a private beach house sounds incredible. Thank you <3
The Andalucia Guest House in Ocean Park is fabulous! Charming, clean, 2 blocks from the beach, and close enough to the touristy stuff (if that’s what you’re into) while still maintaining some local flavor. The owners are also two of the sweetest, most helpful hosts out there. Highly recommended!
Thank you!!
Which part of Puerto Rico??
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
Coronado. Back for the first time since July 2011. Feels so strange, like trying on clothes from a former life. 3h
She. Is fucking mental. SoCal’s a big place, there’s no reason she needs to be there. Is she announcing to Jack and Cindy that bunny-boiler’s back in town? Also, July 2011 was a year and a fucking half ago. She’s a completely different person now! She is alarming.
And Cock. Lots and lots of Cock…
I mean Bach! Um, err, oops…
Yooo-hooo small dick gay boyfriend, you, madam, are no Jack McCain!
So…Paris is out because of former lovers, but Coronado, “the home (and belt) they shared,” is okay?
What-evah.
ha!
Her life is such a bad attempt at a cheesy rom com. You dated one guy this one time for five minutes. Now you are dating a different guy in a different city for the past ten minutes. Pretty much sums it up. My fucking god who cares.
I <3 you JFA.
Did you see this? Tina Fey weighs in on Twitter. (Spoiler: She's not a fan.)
(Not sure if this is the correct way to link. If it fails, you can google "Ask Tina: Twitter")
Or, right click and open in new tab. That works.
Isn’t it like 2 hours to SD from LA? How is that a road trip?!? That’s a fucking commute.
It’s a road trip because she’s a fucking moron.
No one who lives in either San Diego or Los Angeles refers to traveling simply a couple of hours away as a road trip. Dumb donkey is dumb.
Venice in May will be perfect for her — those canals stink to high heaven in the heat.
Just like her pelts and fake YSLs!
As per Donkey’s FB, she’s visiting Thorney and “her new MAN!” in Coranado at some resort. Not clear that Debbie is with them.
Ugh, stay the fuck away from the Del. It’s bad enough that she ventures from her Illinois stable to places where civilized people congregate; she’s getting too close for comfort.
Of all the fun places to stay and do in SD, why the fuck does she goes to fucking Coronado every time? Idiot.
Oh yeah, Yack and the home she shared then got thrown out of.
Coronado is the Marina del Bray of SD.
Vom Com video of the day:
http://savpr.com/julia-allison-talks-about-her-haters-on-valley-girl-show-with-jesse-draper/
The deep belly laughter around the 3:30 mark gave me canklehausen.
Priceless quote from Donkey: “Some people get a fan base. I got a hate base”.
Pass the ointment, please.
She can’t stop touching herself in these videos. Weird. Is that a mental illness symptom? Also, can you really claim to have been a blogger when you never posted content other then photo’s of yourself or images from other sites?
She’s a reblogger and even though this site is ‘reblogging donk’ it still has more original content in one week than she produces in one year.
But hating is such bad karma, catpeeps! I am so glad Donkey is lecturing us about karma. I’m sure snarking on narcissists is far worse than, oh, deceiving advertisers, scamming merchandise, lying, snooping through private property, treating a dog like an accessory and pimping out your dead grandmother for attention.
Feeding turd-looking sweet potatoes to the poor, buying Twitter followers…
Oh, I just can’t any more, the list is too long.
Having a paid job where you gossiped about celebrities’ personal lives… using a guy to move your furniture, then insulting his looks– on national TV… making rape jokes… outing someone’s mental health status… passive-aggressively e-mailing an ex’s new girlfriend… shamelessly taking money and gifts from men as if they owed you… not supporting yourself or paying your own way through life… saying you’re a feminist when you’re really a kept woman…
stealing tiaras, fleeing from corn vendors with too much skin pigment, yelling at random people in strip mall parking lots, Easter Whore costuming, bachelorette party crashing, outing a family member’s rape on Twitter, making a creepy divorced hater (TM) pay the bar tab for your birthday, using “date rape” charade to get a college paper deadline extended, being “the Medstitute”, breaking off your own engagement to have an affair with a married man, pretending to have celiac, hacking your boyfriend’s email, refusing to sign a college form for your unpaid “intern”, luring Michael McDonald to NYC to photograph your bipolar birthday bash then stranding him….
I don’t know. I don’t really get it. She seems to really believe it when she refers to herself as “a journalist”. But she is, of course, NOT a journalist. She has sporadically written columns/blogs about her love life. And she sounds remarkably sane and self-aware as far as mistakes of her internet oversharing. But just in the last few days she has shown herself to be as obnoxious as ever with the Europe trip!
I don’t think she believes it. She knows she is a phony but thinks she can get away with it, even as she circles the bowl.
She believes it.
Her face looks like carved soap. And the mugging is out of control.
“Carved soap”. These are the words that I didn’t know I was looking for until I read them.
I remember wanting to kill both of them watching this. SO ANNOYING FUCK. Showing up late to interview, so professional.
How much adderall is the host on??? “First female blogger on the internet” LOL.
Also, technology certainly makes not having a home base easy…when you have no fucking job. Ugh the bullshittery never stops.
The host is Tim Draper’s daughter. Which explains why Donkey would try so hard to be friendsies.
OTOH, I have no idea why Jesse would ever dignify A Donkey by letting her on the show.
I didn’t know who that was. Don’t care much, wiki’d a bit. Explains a lot (why this twit has her own “show” why JA gives a shit etc). These people are all huge talentless assholes.
Also she didn’t just let her on show. She seems to genuinely like her. No excuse for that. Except you are profoundly dumb and have poor taste.
All I could think of when I saw the host was Humbert Humbert on “the low-slung hips of college girls”. Sorry—I know it’s not right or funny or helpful—but it’s true.
I should have looked up the quote first…”there are few physiques I loathe more than the heavy low-slung pelvis, thick calves and deplorable complexion of the average coed”. It’s even more awful than my recollection!
“I remember wanting to kill both of them watching this. ”
But it looks like it was just posted yesterday. Is this a rerun?
It’s a year old:
http://rebloggingdonk.com/2012/01/25/jesse-draper-asks-why-is-julia-allison/
I should have guessed that, since she didn’t mention that she had A BOYFRIEND.
Holy shit. She looks like a lumpy 48-yr-old! What happened to her tits? Forgot the cutlets again?
Anyone remember this video?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWzsyZ7G10k
L.O.L.
how can Jules NOT be mortified by this? of course she’s an idiot—she proved it right there—all of it is idiotic!! All of her BS’ing is why she is mockable–forever and ever—she really believes all this crap and comes off as a scammer/grifter.
NO ONE except her parents and Asha’s Dad fell for it.
The hilarious thing is, we all know she couldn’t give 1/10 of a shit what other people are doing, she just has this insatiable need for others to reinforce and approve of what SHE is doing. The whole idea of this being a dialogue is mind-boggling.
“NO ONE except her parents and Asha’s Dad fell for it.”
Don’t forget Snowflake. Or MMBH’s dad.
The annotations are very fucking funny. I salute (Interrupt) whatever catpeep who (Interrupt) did that.
Here is what they will do:
Spain. Seville, maybe Cordoba, maybe someone will inform them that Italica, the Roman ruins, are some of the best preserved in Europe and that Italica acted as the “Western Whitehouse” to Caesar Trajan.
They will go to Granada perhaps. Whatever happens in southern Spain, I am crossing my fingers the dirty dirty south ruins their trip. Seville is a dog-shit strewn dump filled with pickpockets, gypsies, thieves, grifters and every form of mugger from violent to super violent. With unemployment in Spain this high, these two might get DAMAGED by the economy of Spain… literally.
OR…. They go to Seville, train or fly it to some city – Madrid, Rome, Paris, who gives a shit. Then, country side. Then, castles and old shit. Then, whatever.
But I’m just hoping they get mugged.
Seville is a dump LOL. I really hope you are joking. That’s pretty funny. Um, I lived there 6 months. If you are not a moron and are the least bit street smart you are fine. I don’t even know where to begin with this.
I seriously…I can’t even. I think I knew one American who got mugged while in Spain and that was in like, Madrid. WTF are you even talking about.
Gypsies are scary! Seville is a dump! Myrtle, hold onto your pocketbook! Allo, señor, speaka dee Engleesh? Dee EEEN-gleesh? I can’t wait to get home and eat at the Olive Garden.
filled with gypsies?? I hear they steal babies
This reminds me of the american idiots on my study abroad program. Their idea of a big night out was to go to the American style pubs. Because clearly you come to Spain to hang out with all the other Americans at American style places. Also they traveled in packs. In Seville. Because it’s very dangerous.
I guess you didn’t see the legless man from Algeria panhandling? Or the child prostitutes? Or maybe it changed and I haven’t been there in years. But southern Spain is a rat hole compares with clean cities in Italy.
Go fuck yourself.
Many years ago, I sometimes had to go through Penn Station during morning rush and used to see a guy with no legs or lower body. He got around on something that looked like a supersize skateboard, and used his flipper-like hands to propel himself down the corridor. I always wondered how he peed, took a dump, etc.
speaking of dumps, i had a dream about julia last night. she was wearing that green ball gown thing, or maybe a green tutu, and pooing with the door open. that’s all i remember. there was a lot of poo. she seemed to be gleeful about the poo and its abundance.
You probably had a dream about her shilling for Butt Print Cleanse!
I’m talking from experience – but I suppose your six months there were filled with rich-kid shit like a nice apartment in a nice quarter, enough money to avoid certain neighborhoods, a cushy study abroad regimen of going out to clubs and “studying”. Are you related to Donkers?
You’re a stupid racist fuck and this is the last time I will respond to you. But feel free to keep talking and making a complete ass out of yourself, dickhead.
“‘Western Whitehouse’ to Caesar Trajan.”
Huh? I’m all for ancient Rome, but what is this about the ‘Western Whitehouse’? Are you drawing some kind of line between Trajan and Nixon? I’m intrigued and concerned at the same time—what are you on about here? I know that Trajan was from Italica, which was basically colonial Italy in the south of Spain, but whaaa?!
He made the city very, very nice. It had a level of activity on par with Rome. It wasn’t Rome, of course, but the ruins are in many ways better than Rome because they are uncovered, not underneath a modern city.
Where’s Debbie?
On a remote island off the coast of Florida?
Buying boxes and tape for the move?
Where’s Lilly/Lily/Lili? (Hey, Mare-mare) Dropped off with KT’s “new man?”
So many questions.
Seriously. Inquiring minds want to know. Because not like he’s at work or something…
Actually I don’t give a shit, I just like pointing out that bitch has no job. Jesus, how many ppl even willingly remain jobless? She managed to find someone exactly like her. There’s a lid for every pot I guess.
Turns out Julia isn’t in San Diego after all. So blessed!
http://cbs12.com/news/top-stories/stories/florida-man-probation-sex-donkey-named-doodle-arrested-again-4550.shtml
God, she’s soooo obnoxious in this tweet to someone who offered to give her tips on San Diego
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 14h
@BrokeAssStuart – I love SD! I grew up visiting my grandparents in Fallbrook, riding horses & exploring their acres of orange groves.
View conversation ·
Fallbrook is so not San Diego! It’s an hour plus away! Julie, the only time you were taken to San Diego when you were staying with your grandparents was to go to the zoo, don’t lie.
“taken to San Diego” <3
You mean that time the zookeeper didn’t want to let her leave the zoo and she had to explain that she was, in fact, a donkey but had her own stable outside the zoo?
“acres of orange groves”– as opposed to those 3′ x 5′ plots of orange groves
I’m surprised she did not mention the time she lived there with the love of her life–she meant it at the time–Jack McCain.
OT, but I think it applies to Donkey and the loves-of-her-life:
“To fall in love requires a bit of unpredictable human interaction. You have to laugh with a person, test their limits, go back and forth, touch them, reveal something true about yourself. You have to show some vulnerability, some give and take. At the very least, you have to make eye contact. It’s easier to substitute texting, tweeting or Facebook posting for these basic rituals of love and friendship because the digital route offers protection. How can you get dumped when you were never really involved?”
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/17/the-hoax-of-digital-life/?hp
SO BLESSED,
(am I dreaming this? are we BAAAACKKK?)
I think so!!
The catlady basement is up and running.
I hate when she tweets at people who didn’t tweet her in the first place. “Dearest BL”
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 15h
@benleventhal – but, truth be told dearest BL, that very sequence is what got me hooked on Sean like a Harvard undergrad on Adderal.
View conversation ·
I just have to say, and it’s been said a million times before, but FUCK that is a horrid picture of Our Dear Donkey Leader.
I have to tell the truth here. When I was about 18 (over 20 years ago, ok over 25 years ago, but hatever, (spelling mistake and it stays ) I went to the airport to meet my eldest sister who I hadn’t seen in years. I was wearing blue eyeshadow and blue eyeshadowed LIPS. I tell u. I was as cool as the cool arsed thing that ever lived.
Until we were walking out the arrival area and my sister said “the bluelips? maybe not next time ok?” I was crushed at the time, but in retrospect it was really fucking good advice.
I wish we still had the ‘like’ option so I could ‘like’ this comment.