When I saw Donk on Facebook last night, still extolling the virtues of bouncing on a mini-trampoline as serious exercise — something Rambo once laughed at in a TMI Weekly segment — I was reminded of a hilarious episode in The History of Donk. And that was when, with great fanfare, she announced she was embarking on a 30-day fitness challenge to lose 10 pounds and get fit — and quit soon after.
Here’s how it began (p.s. nice hair):
And then it simply ended in failure, but with equal fanfare, two weeks later. Shame she made that video private because it was a study in melodramatic lunacy.
I was on vacay for a few weeks so allow me to get some OT things off my (extremely manly) chest:
a) First!!111
b) NonBusiness COO Lasagna got engaged to Guido Joe last month. Was this discussed here? (If so, no need for machine gun kitty .gif, I will sanction myself appropriately)
c) Calleigh de Whatever is really dating some guy named Chesly J. Manly?
d) My assistant walked in on my watching this yesterday: http://vimeo.com/55186589 . I didn’t even attempt an explanation, bc, what the hell could I say to explain this braying/laughing combo?
Hope you had a lovely vacation.
a) Cut that out.
b) I, at least, had no clue. I hope Lasagna will be very happy, and that it galls the fuck out of Julie’s withers that Lasagna got engaged first.
c) “Cailleach de Weingart-Ryan” and “Chesly J. Manly” are the funniest names ever (especially if you know Irish, because the Cailleach is a gruesome hag). But I am really appreciating “de Weingart” lately (there is, of course, no actual place named Weingart to be de).
d) Forget it, Jake. It’s Donkeytown.
Oh, also, no big MckMama revelations—she went on a diet-pill-hawking road trip, and the husband’s former employee won his judgement for $56,000.
Thanks for the updates and happy belated Hub51-sponsored New Year! I hadn’t had a real vacay for more than a year, so it was great. I haven’t caught up on MckMama yet because Penelope Trunk and that c-ville.com article about KERF are so juicy. I’m saving MckDrama for my weekend reading.\
I wonder if my post would be the first time Donkey hears about Lasagna beating her to omgengagement? Do they even talk anymore? It was so obvious that Donkey always thought herself superior to “the dogsitter”. But now that Julia’s resigned herself to Goat Soap, time for a reality check.
I just laughed out loud at Von und Zu.
I love it too.
+1 for (d), Albie, and gold star for Von und Zu . also, Afghani has an assistant??!
um, I think he’s a lawyer, or something? So he needs someone to do the detail side while he focusses on the big picture and the caulk.
entryways as well stalker.
Did Julia’s Craigslist ad specify whether the caulk was luxury, or super-luxury?
She also didn’t specify how many (if any) windows are north-facing.. For $3,200 simoleons we need to know this shit.
Actually.. It’s more like $3,450 with $200 for the “stall muckers” and another $50 for the utilities..
AHEM! I’ll have you know that the Manly name is at the TOP of the Winnetka Ladies Social Fingerblasting Register.
There you are.
(I let you be first.)
Why do her arms look so funny to me? Like she knows they’re supposed to be vaguely boxer-like, but she’s not really punching anything?
Of D0nkey’s 33″ bust measurement, HALF OF IT is back fat, eh?
Or she put the cutlets in back instead of front?
She’s obviously posturing so as to appear grossly out of shape … you know she’d have been standing tall & sucking it in by the end of 30 days, but apparently she realized that fauxt0shoppe was going to take a while longer to master.
Actually, I think she has a microphone pack under her shirt in the back, just like all the reality show nitwits do.
I’ve seen those as a small box, but never looking like a dowager’s hump a la hunchback of Notre Dame.
Donkey probably wanted everyone in the gym to see it and be duped into thinking she’s a star.
NP: “My Humps”, as covered by Alanis Morrissette.
She should really, really stop trying to make the red hair happen. Bad then, bad now.
True! But it’s more than a little sad to realize now that she looked good compared to now.
I love the working out in twelve pounds
Of makeup. Christ. I can feel the zits waiting to happen.
That’s almost a haiku!
Yeah, her face muscles must be developed like whoa from hefting the slap everyday.
Yeah when I type on my iphone it comes out in verse.
And doesn’t anyone have a hair elastic this girl can borrow? Jesus.
Pony tails aren’t glamorous. Sausage curls 24/7 because real men like long hair and she’s the only person who has long hair on earth.
Just saw this on Gawker and LOL’d: http://jalopnik.com/5974931/your-guide-to-the-worlds-most-hated-car-culture-donks
Did you know that a donk is a car with ridiculously big
calveswheels?Yup, that also gave me a delicious laugh.
It was the class and elegance level of the whole thing that reminded me of Julia.
Not to body snark exactly, but…backbulge and trowled makeup aside, she actually looks really good here – and claims at least 137 of her pounds (in a video that she can’t fauxtochop) . Makes me think that, in addition to all the aftermarket facial construction, she must’ve gained at least 20 pounds since then. I mean, compare that to the unchopped photos of her from the bohemian/crackden wedding, and its insane how much she’s changed for the worse.
Hmmm, maybe it’s me but I think she looks terrible in this video. The hair & make-up is awful but I think the worst thing is that she doesn’t wear her weight well. Whether she really needed to lose 10 pounds is beside the point. (For the record, I don’t think she needed to.) It’s that she seems so clumsy and hefty in the way she moves – dance training, my ass – which to me says she is completely unaware of her own body. How to be in it, I mean, and how it works. She’s spent so much of her life looking at what reflects back to her in the mirror – hence the procedures, the posing – that she doesn’t pay any attention to what it physically feels like. That screams self-esteem issues, which, I know, is stating the obvious and does nothing to excuse her cunty behavior.
How high is she?
She’s not unattractive on the outside… until recent years when she bloated out and fakey’ed her face…. but the insides are fucking atrocious.
She looked pretty good after her first round of plastic surgery, but didn’t know when to stop with the alterations. And going to cut-rate surgeons is always a bad idea, especially if you base your entire self-worth on perthepthun and prethentation.
I somehow keep forgetting how UNWATCHABLE that TMI shit wreck was. Holy sweet moses and mary. First of all, THE WANGS! Then the (retarded person) side eye Pocahantas shoots Mary when Julia talks about the “world famous” trampoline classes?
Also Juliar looks about 25 years older now.
I always lol on the inside at the clearly ripped off from SATC theme music. Also, yeah. It was so bad, low budget and ridiculous. I miss it. I miss Megan’s batshit insane smiling at the camera for no reason. When Mary Rambin is the genius of the group, you know you have problems.
Remember the Instant Diarrhea Potato Chip Sponsor?????
I loved that part—Body Dismorphic Disorder FOR ALL THE GIRLS!!!!
Can some non-snark CatBuddy realistically estimate how much money Asha’s Dad “invested” in this non-start-up? How much money could have sunk into NS? (including CupCake budget)
$50k? or $100k? I genuinely curious!
Awwwww, you wang!
hey guys,
been a while since i commented, as i kinda lost interest.
thanks for the “blast from the past” post – she’s been so borrringgg lately that i’m kinda losing interest.
also, i love the video record of how much more of a looney she appears to be when contrasted with m&m