What in the HoBag is Julia Allison Wearing?

Seriously, what in the FUPA is that  Tawny Kitaen shit? And why would she even think to pair it with her stupid Chanel purse?

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

187 Responses to What in the HoBag is Julia Allison Wearing?

  1. Occupy Donkeytown says:

    When was the last time she said she’s not pregnant? Just asking.

  2. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    There’s sun on my monitor right now that I can’t dodge & I need coffee, so maybe it’s just me, but this picture isn’t making sense to me …

    Did Julia Allison fauxt-chop her waistline? (that bloated hand has got to be indicative of some medical issue, no?) Anyway, there’s the zipper of the jacket coming down, then it’s suddenly pinned to her body by that biggo sausage snapper of a thumb, but there’s also jacket extending over to her sleeve, & yet there’s carpeted wall to be seen behind her hoof? And what’s that behind her raftass, by her purse, separated by that lighter shade of pink than the other carpet?

  3. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    Is that a hermit crab crawling across her waist…or are those her fingers?!

  4. CUNTBunnies! says:

    FTFY

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/K875p.jpg[/img]

  5. Rick says:

    I think we’re seeing the end of this website. With Donkey being less donkey-ish, this site has less to post. Is Donkey growing up?

  6. JFA says:

    OMG CHANEL ratty bag makes an appearance. Chanel bag adds class to any hooker getup.

    She REALLY likes this set. SHe also posted one with her gay boyfriend as her profile pic. Because the huge background pic of both of them clearly isn’t enough.

    I’m so over her hair too. CHange it up, wench. Ugh.

  7. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    OT: The loft Laurel Toby bought with the fuck-you money Donks wish she had

    http://www.nytimes.com/ref/greathomesanddestinations/the-loft-that-mediabistro-built.html

    Handle with care. May induce acute canklehausen and shower vomitting.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      “Famously brash and bossy, Ms. Touby, 49, charged her decorator, Jaqueline Touby, a distant cousin whom she met by accident when she moved to New York after graduating from Smith in the 1980s, with making a place ‘that everyone would be jealous of.'”

      Well, I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but she missed by a county mile.

      • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

        She paid $2m just for the renovation: for that kind of money, I hope she at least got some decent window caulking.

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        Am I the only one who doesn’t like the industrial look? Is homey and cozy not cool?

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I didn’t used to care for an industrial look, but I’m tired of crap & am craving minimalism & tornado-proof structure & Frank Lloyd Wright overhangs for indoor/outdoor living & absofreakinglutely no thresholds.

          #Big roof_small space to hose out_I want it bad

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      “She also had a really good eye for talent. She spotted Brian Stelter when he was a college student. She spotted Rachel Sklar.”

      There is no way these people are not taking the piss.

    • Wife Branding says:

      Meh. I like Laurel, and I honestly think for the community she built (which for all the clunkiness of the site, is the go-to spot for job listings for certain media set) she should have gotten WAY more money than that. She’s not young, not a “bro,” and she sold before this crazy tech boom where places like Warby Parker are getting 40 million to “disrupt the eye glass industry.”

      • Dyspeptic says:

        plus, never forget, mediabistro printed that hilarious Donkey profile that New York killed, or passed on, or whatever. Talk about a public service for catladies-n-gents

      • Factory Seconds says:

        Whoops. Ordering glasses from Warby Parker as we speak.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          They’re amazing. You can select 6 pair to try on at- home (no charge). I have these for reading:

          http://www.warbyparker.com/women/optical/womens-eyewear-crosby-eyeglass-frame-black

          • bunnies says:

            ooooh, those are cute. i did the home try on & didn’t find a pair i was in love with, but i just found out WP is doing a roadtrip to DC (and some other cities) so i’m going to check ’em out (aka try on every pair ever) soon. http://www.warbyparkerclasstrip.com/

          • Dr. Gary says:

            @bunnies

            Definitely give them another chance. They have so many different styles. Honestly, out of the 6 I tried, the Crosbys were the only pair that really looked good on me.

            Thank you for posting that link! I want a second pair and would love to see other styles in person. Looks like they’ll be in LA on 2-13-13 to 3-10-13.

          • Rosalie says:

            Damn. I just missed the Philly stop.

          • Software Monkey says:

            OT: The model of eyeglass retail success today is already old hat in Japan. I’ll never understand why the American eyewear experience is so clumsy and expensive — esp. the whole WP send-and-return model. In Japan, buying cool eyeglasses is almost as convenient as buying socks.

            Even with the bad yen/dollar exchange now, if you’re passing through Japan, go immediately to the nearest Jins and buy three or four pairs. You will forever wish they had Jins or Alook shops here in the U.S. Frames, eye test and custom lenses cost about $100 each now (high yen) but they’re the best glasses you can buy, and the shopping experience is second-to-none.

            Wearing these as I type this: http://www.jins-jp.com/Products/Detail/number/CCF-12-003/94/

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Jelly of you all. I have ginormous cheekbones so very few glasses work on me, and absolutely none of the Japanese glasses. I can pretty much only wear Mikli, DKNY, Safilo’s various brands, and one German brand with “Neo” or “Neue” in it, because my glasses have to be 140 mm wide or I get face muffintop.

            I realize y’all probably think I look like a Picasso now, between the enormonoggin, mutant cheekbones, and Cubist Calf Syndrome I bemoan here, but I am actually a perfectly presentable middle-aged lady who looks like a taller, bustier Janeane Garofalo.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            OMG, are you Mariel Hemingway?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Ha ha ha ha no.

            She has glamorous cheekbones. Mine are just bulgy.

            🙁

          • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

            Wait. Now I feel really stupid. I had no idea glasses had such a following. I just pick out the frames that look best when I’m at the eye doctor. Am I doing something wrong?

          • Software Monkey says:

            No, you’re cool. It’s just that I never go to the “eye doctor”, and I never want to.

  8. ShesJustStupid says:

    Do we think Donks is going home for Thanksgiving? Or will she go to Debbie’s family? She’s always so great around the holidays. I hope she doesn’t disappoint.

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      I bet she’ll go home. She has no life without her precious family.

      #cutapronstringsalready
      #over30

    • Julia'sTooSmallTutu says:

      No way she misses an opportunity to post the umpteenth photo of the University Club Christmas tree.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      She should go to Modesto and bring Lily to hang with Debbie’s brother’s pit bulls.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      How is it that I imagine her wrestling small children to the ground for the wishbone (this will be my “first holiday” with La Donk and friends). But it’s been like Christmas everyday since I found this site. God Bless you one and all.

  9. idiotbox says:

    Well, one think I know for a fact is that the jackets is pleather. She may have DRANK a chicken (that was ONCE and she was SICK!), but she would never ever ever eat one.

  10. Albie Quirky says:

    Ordinarily I would think heyamberrae’s heysweater was heyterrible, but I can’t even because Julie Alberston as Emma No-A-Peel.

  11. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Any chance this new reserved almost silent Donkey is the work of Bravo? Maybe they told her that she had to tone it all down to stay on the show?

    • Dyspeptic says:

      I think it’s more likely that Annie lalala or one of her newish spiritual gurus finally got through to her during the Peruvian idyll, and Julia is trying out a new policy of not giving her detractors so much ammunition. I doubt it will last. But if it does…more power to her. So many laughs coming out of Tampa these days I’m not feeling the deficit…yet.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        As long as she has an OMGboyfriend she’ll semi-ratchet down the attention whoring. I know somebody just like her and the oversharing always reaches fever pitch when unattached and throwing herself at men to see what sticks.

  12. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    OT: I was looking for a cooking show & of all things, came across this livestream (they broke for lunch right about the time I opened it, so I really have no idea what it is) — looked like Ferrett wrangled in more people than Smellsberg did though. Back in 30 & then runs ’til 2:00 p.m. Pacific time, he said.

    As I type this, a Lewis Howes commercial started playing …

    What next, a D0nkey cite / site / sighting?

    The 4-Hour Life with Tim Ferriss
    http://www.ustream.tv/new

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      “The 4-Hour Life” = in the future we shall all be mayflies. Tim Ferriss and Michael Ellsberg can help you get there, for the bargain price of only $10000!

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Okay, so I sort of liked his brief cooking segment (but I always like cooking stuff unless the focus is on baking sweet crap) & watching him didn’t bug me like I expected.

  13. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    @JuliaAllison: “I live in a three dimensional miracle – and so do you.” – @MarthaBeck

    Sorry if this incurs the wrath of the AK Kitty, but this inspirational quote isn’t even pretending to have meaning. It’s a kind of art form, really: forming a phrase with no substance beyond its intended emotional effect on you. Donkey maybe airing it less on the Internet, but she remains an intriguing mixture of dumb and pretentious.

    • Donkey's Anger Farts says:

      I’ve done a study of Twitter and 82% of everything posted is faux inspirational bullshit. My analysis of Twitter supports your conclusion that all people on there are an “intriguing mixture of dumb and pretentious.”

      This study is in no way scientific or accurate, but I stand by my results.

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        Haha I often make up statistics to support my reality. I have similar thoughts about Twitter-it allows the uninteresting or unintelligent to falsely think they are relevant, causing a generation of self important, self entitled to become futher deluded.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Ha ha ha ha ha holy fuck that’s a real thing not a Mindy Kaling sketch?

      Kavitya J. Patel, the grifter in me greets the grifter in you. Namaste, bitches!

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        “We are literally shifting YOUR VIBES into a place
        where you become a Love + Man Magnet.” Quite a way with words, she has.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      OMG. You guys have to watch this. It is SO incredibly cheesy and bad. And for the low, low price of $97! you can have unlimited access to all of the ‘expert’ videos. It is to LOL.

      Julie has truly found her calling.

    • Donkey's Anger Farts says:

      “You name it, she’s done it.”

      Has she ever been a calm, rational, humble person?

      • Tingolayo says:

        Written puff pieces for free newspapers? She’s done it. Gone to a mainstream American college on her parents’ dime? She’s done it. Lived in mainstream US cities? She’s done it. Owned a mainstream dog breed? She’s done it. Dated yuppie white guys? She’s done it. Taken yoga class? She’s done it.

        Wow, she’s a regular Martha Gellhorn.

    • donkolnikov says:

      LOOK AT THE STILL OF HER ON THE VIDEO

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      Jesus fucking christ, she will never stop talking about herself.

    • Tingolayo says:

      She is such a clown. She is an expert at nothing. Every relationship you have, you think (at the time) that he’s “the one.” She could have given this “interview”when she was with Pancakes, Prom King, JellyD, whomever…. she’s always found “the one.”

      She is obsessed with the past. Why, in your 30s, do you even bring up high school boyfriends and adolescent insecurities (or which college you went to)? She’s like she’s still a teenager– but in the 1950s. “I want a boy to like me! I want a husband!” Instead of trying to be “the woman he’d want,” why not just be happy with yourself and try to find someone who’s a good match for YOU?

      LOL that Stevin Detler is everything on her checklist! What a spin doctor she is.

      Nobody on the planet is as self-absorbed and shallow as she is. She spends so much time trying to articulate what’s so basic to the most of us, what most of us learned years ago: what’s inside counts. She projects her own plentiful issues onto all womankind. She thinks that “I had no self esteem” equals “Women have no self esteem.”

      “I’ve cried more tears than anyone I know.” “I’ve hit rock bottom so many times.” Bitch, EVERYONE has heartbreaks. And most of them have to pick themselves up and go to work, care for their children, find a new home (not one that someone else has bought for them), etc. There are people fighting chronic depression, chronic illness, who have to hold down full-time jobs, and they manage to be much stronger than a donkey could ever be.

      A 45-minute monologue on yourself. God, she’s boring. Actually, it’s pure comedy. Does she ever just shut the fuck up and live her life? Is what you did at 23 even relevant anymore, at her age? What if she got married and had kids– would she still be talking about “boys” and “prom” and dating? Is she going to be talking about high school shit when she’s 60?

      “We model our parents’ relationship”– no shit, Sherlock. She trots out all these insights that everyone already knows. She was raised that “You work– there’s no time for play”? All she does is play!!! When has she ever worked hard in her life??? I just have no patience with 1. grifters 2. lazy asses 3. reality show z-list faux-lebrities and 4. narcissists these days.

      “You can find me (primarily) 3 places on the internet”– WTF??? She has NO content. No substance. No there, there.

      • Don Quixote says:

        WELL FRIGGEN SAID.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        “We model our parents’ relationship”—clearly Twinkerballs doesn’t! Or else he’s got a 14-year-old child somewhere.

        Not mocking them for being teen parents (they seem happy together all these years later, which is sweet), mocking her for saying ridiculous shit that doesn’t extend further than her fake nose.

    • moonshinedonkey says:

      The camera gal or guy must’ve really hated Julia Allison Baugher #bad #press #donkey #fat #angle

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        Agreed, she looks like she just finished mime school or is really taking this Twilight thing to a really unhealthly level.

    • Crack Rock City says:

      “I really thought I’d have to prepare for a life with a dog and a baby of my own, and a house full of pink because there’s no man to tell me to get rid of it.”

      Well done on saying your worst nightmare is EXACTLY what you currently have

    • Sad Sack of Luuv says:

      Wow– pathi-sad that she cannot stop talking about herself.
      And it’s all soooo boring.
      After a few minutes of me-me-me….I just skipped through the rest
      and it’s all the same BS.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I have been crazy-swamped for days and only just tried to watch this and I am being told I have to pay $97 to watch it. As if, bitches. Anyway, no one has it saved anywhere, do they?

  14. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    She spent a full decade as an Elle columnist?! Who knew?!

  15. New Year Same You says:

    And seriously everyone, click on that link. I tried to tip jacy to it earlier this week but I must have done it wrong. But the series is a grifter circle jerk (I’ve been kinda depressed lately and got on all their mailing lists) and I kind of love it.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Wow. That’s some amazing grifter bs. And Donks is on at 8?

    • New Year New You says:

      Are you my nemesis or my mom?

    • idiotbox says:

      she is such a liar. Debbie meets EVERY.SINGLE.THING.ON.THE.CHECKLIST? And her “NOOOOOOOO!” at the hose asking her to clarify that what one’s checklist shouldn’t include “MBA, or graduate from Harvard”

      whoa, fucking nelly

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Liar, liar pants on fire:

        ’20. Great school / well-educated’

        and

        “I actually had a 73 point checklist, which I talked about in my show. It was much maligned on the internet…the truth is, I sat down and I really thought through what I needed in a partner. These weren’t things like ‘drives a red corvette’. They were things like ‘is kind’, ‘is honest’, ‘is authentic’…”

        aHEM:

        ’57. Owns a fast, sexy car’

        http://www.bravotv.com/miss-advised/season-1/julia-allisons-73-point-checklist?page=0,1

        • idiotbox says:

          when did she work “all the time?”

          • Dr. Gary says:

            EXCUSE YOU.

            She was ‘working all the time’ when she was getting Pancakes drunk and hacking into his phone/email/facebook, and texting/emailing all those girls to stay away from him.

            That takes a LOT of work.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          “Has a beautiful home”

          Honey, I am just saying, we saw the pictures of his shabby, restaurant-table-filled hovel.

          • Grammarians says:

            If you have heavy, flabby arms, why would you wear a sleeveless shirt?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Was probably from that depressing AirBNB listing that I googled his address street view … anyway, seedy as hell & who you’d envision as the type to live there could be someone you’d find at a by-the-hour motel pool in the middle of the day, wearing last night’s dress suit but no socks, a found-on-the-ground half-smoked cigarette butt dangling from his gummy mouth.
            [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/23uvh8n.png[/img]

          • AFF says:

            “Has a beautiful home”

            I don’t think she’s had anyone qualify for this since Alex (married guy whose wife got the “beautiful home” in the divorce anyway).

            And remember, beautiful home is more than appearances–Alex’s house probably had cement-based grout in the bathrooms, which is much cheaper than epoxy-based but looks horrible after 5 yrs.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Jesus

          • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

            I know!

            He lives in a studio.

            A STUDIO, for Greg’s sake!

          • Tingolayo says:

            Why does he need to have a beautiful home, when she doesn’t? She hasn’t really made a home anywhere herself; she just moves into other people’s condos. So why does Prince Charming need to supply her with a ready-made castle?

      • JFA says:

        Jesus Christ Im sick
        Of her. Youd think she would have learned her lesson that the 73 point checklist is awful and batshit insane. NOPE FUCK YOU HATERS. I GOTS a man now and he meets every. Snap. Single. Snap. Requirement.

        Sure he does. Go fuck already. She’s been a beard for five minutes and suddenly she’s so happy and healthy in love. Ugh I really can’t. She really thinks she’s “won” bexause one boring unattractive unemployed loser is her lapdog. Slow clap.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          She is so fucking delusional. She is flat-out lying about what superficial bullshit is on her stupid checklist and the thing is posted on line for anybody to see. She has one relationship that lasts past a couple of months and she is suddenly an expert? She is such a sucking vortex of neediness and self-absorption, I have no idea how anyone could stand being around her for any length of time. She wanted to be on TV to be “inspirational” to others? What a crock of shit.

          • JFA says:

            Her “boyfriend” has to be braindead. And I’m taking a wild guess that he’s no Casanova w the ladies and, sadly, THAT is “hot” for him. That…overly madeup probably reeks of bad perfume phony obnoxious loud insane bimbo up there. They are both so gross and sad.

      • JFA says:

        I just reread that list and it’s SO FUCKING STUPID. There are about 7 different ways she says “LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY.” Some are just really fucking stupid, meaningless adjectives like “beloved.” My fave is still “must never have been engaged” because the stupid cunt was engaged herself so. Also “intact parental unit” is awesome, totally someone’s fault if their parents got divorced.

        She’s such an evil piece of shit.

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      I can’t believe there’s almost an hour of this crap. looks like Kavita J Patel can’t take it either…

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/96d5T.png[/img]

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/e9pZu.png[/img]

      [imghttp://i.imgur.com/23SuI.png[/img]

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Poor Kavita. There are a few moments where it looks like she’s blinking ‘SAVE ME’ to someone off-camera.

        • Donkey's Anger Farts says:

          Actually, it looked to me like she was eating that bullshit up. Granted, I only made through the first 8 minutes or so, but Donkey was spewing shit the entire time without any resistance. Perhaps the ensuing 35 minutes (seriously?) were different, but this just seemed like two fucking idiots spewing shit.

      • JFA says:

        And fucking retire the hideous pirate shirt already you dumb ho.

        • Donkey's Anger Farts says:

          Seinfeld is still pretty funny though. Isn’t that what she’s going for?

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            I thought it’s to camouflage a small chest. One that is devoid of cutlet inserts, that is.

        • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

          And what’s up with all that leg showing??

          You are talking about relationships, not modelling beach wear, you stupid donkey.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Ooooh, gurlll, that hand lobster claw!
        [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/1zyhopc.png[/img]

        Anyway, beyond all the usual snark …
        Gotta give kudos to Annie Lalla (sp?) though for making some headway w/ our d0nkey … seems like all that was needed was for someone else to think things through for D0nkey & ‘splain that chit to her.

        No telling how fast & deep the backslide will be once Debbie claws her way out of the closet, but for the meanwhile, D0nkey seems to be getting growed up.

        • Greg says:

          holy fuck that is a really scary picture of her and i just spent a million years trying to figure out her arm deformity. It’s a deltoid, not a deformed hand!

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Trust, she’s not internalized it, she’s just reciting what she’s benn fed. Her insecurities are too deep-seated and will resurface once the Debbie honeymoon is over. And, trust x2, there is not going to be a more disillusioned human being than Donkey after she gets married and it doesn’t magically solve all her issues.

        • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

          Her hands are the unskilled crane.

    • ElGuapo says:

      Stupid Donkey, 1992 called and they want their pirate shirt back. Also, not sure if it is my monitor, but is she wearing light blue eyeshadow? What the fucking fuck???

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Her trademark is heavy application of white eye shadow.

        • JFA says:

          THIS! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. I HAVE TO YELL. It’s like she read an article in Allure in 1996 and never changed her makeup look. Fuck. Go watch some goddamn tutorials on youtube and try something different. It looks reDONKulous.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            She probably read somewhere that a small dab of white on the inner corners of the eyes helps brighten/highlight them, and being a stupid, tacky donkey, she decided to trowel it all over her eyelids. Because she needs to be highlighted all over, people!

          • JFA says:

            I remember some makeup looks, in the 90s, called for applying a lighter color from lid to browbone. But then you are supposed to apply OTHER COLORS ELSEWHERE. A darker color on lid and an even darker one in crease. You don’t just slap on fucking white highligher all over and call it a day. It looks horrible and I can only imagine even worse in person. You’d think someone who wears 12 layers of makeup would learn some technique by now. She has neither style nor class. And obviously no one to tell her she looks fucking stupid.

    • idiotbox says:

      she’s such a moron. Special snowflake was the only one rejected? the only woman out there who went through periods of low self-esteem? the only one who was awkward as an adolescent? She’s an idiot.

      • JFA says:

        I like her ZOMG AMAZING REVELATION that we all need a “love coach” and how AMAZINGLY RIDICULOUS it supposedly is that we don’t all have one. Um, asshole? No, we don’t, it’s called “common sense” and most people use it to secure a mate, eventually. Also, most people have jobs, lives and things to do besides obsessing over themselves and their dateability 24/7.

        I love the whole “I told everyone all the time I was single, everyone I met.” Clearly you did, because you are a desperate and pathetic lunatic. And you attracted whom you clearly deserve, a completely uninteresting dullard with absolutely no life of his own who will bore you to tears in 3…2…1…

        • IDIOTBOX says:

          YES! I wanted to scream at her saying “Did your parents use a love coach, you idiot?!”

          • JFA says:

            Honestly if I ever use a “love coach” I invite the nearest person with a shotgun to take me out. #whitepeopleproblems #pleasegetafuckingjob #toomuchtimeonyourhands

        • Grammarians says:

          most people have “friends”

        • Don Quixote says:

          According to Miss Advised’s premise, isn’t she supposed to be a love and dating “expert?” Yet she’s advocating for everyone to hire a “love coach?” Aren’t they one and the same?

  16. Authenticity Costume says:

    eww and the orange nails! STOP IT!

  17. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    LOOK AT HER HAND! I literally just picked up the laptop and held it closer to my face. Is there something on it? Some blurred our jewelry? SOMETHING? Because otherwise that seriously looks like the hand of an 85 year old giant man.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      The hand?

      Wha ’bout them matted pelts?
      [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/2vhtabn.png[/img]

      ::gags::

      • JFA says:

        SHE WILL NEVER STOP WITH THE WHITE FROSTED EYESHADOW. WHO IN GOD’S NAME TOLD YOU THAT LOOKED GOOD. JESUS. CUT YOUR HAIR TOO.

  18. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    It’s like she’s actually decomposing before our eyes. How is it she looks WORSE than NGMB (present day) at this point?

  19. JFA says:

    Having a boyfriend for literally, a few months = ALL PROBLEMS SOLVED. SELF ESTEEM RENEWED. LIFE’S GOAL ACHIEVED.

    Someone wake me when we are no longer living in 1953 again. These chicks are so sad and so dull. Also she calls herself an entrepreneur at least once in this thing, which always gives me the stabbies. You have a fucking blog, you tard. That does not make you Steve Jobs. I CAN”T.

    • JFA says:

      Also she was on television to influence/inspire/communicate with women. Not to get famous or because she has nothing better to do. I’m glad ALL THE GIRLS learned important life lessons from such an inspirational figure, such as “how to act like a complete jackass on the first and second date” and “how to completely embarrass yourself pretty much at all times” as well as “how to act really crass and mortify your parents on national television.” Such a shaman, this one, with so much to give.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        Maybe in Season 2 of Miss Advised, Donkey will come back as the wise elder who coaches a younger and even stupider version of herself.

        • JFA says:

          I just have a wild and crazy feeling that this did in fact get renewed, and the whole JA concept part of show will be her and her gross boyfriend and if she can learn from her mistakes and bla bla bla. And it makes sense because there has got to be SOME reason that this dude is sticking around, and I doubt it has anythign to do with her fetchingness, or her vagina.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Her fetching vagina?

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

            Her fetching green skin tagged vagina?

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            I’m guessing it’s Donkey’s peen that keeps Debbie Seltzer around.

          • AFGHANI says:

            – He’s as needy as she is.
            – He’s super dumb. Read his efforts at being an attorney “for Youtube, Viacom, Julia Allison” etc.
            – It’s holiday season–both of them need each other
            – They enable each other in their respective delusions.
            – For once, Julia is the one from a “better” family that has more money. It’s possible that Goat Soap sees this as a perk.
            – He’s a fame whore himself and believes that eventually he will get his own “break”.

  20. Albie Quirky says:

    OT: I just read the book Semi-Charmed Life by Nora Zelevansky, and it was a fun light read that combined snark on celebrity culture with a pleasant chick-lit base, sprinkled with a touch of magic and mythology. There were a lot of bits that made me think the writer was a catlady at heart.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Also in the cultural satire wheelhouse was Alix Kates Shulman’s latest, Ménage, about a rich couple and the Eastern European emigre writer whose patron they become. So sharply observed that I winced as much as I laughed!

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        Cannot wait to get both books you mentioned AL to the Q (yes, I’m old school and still like books). I was reading the story in Vanity Fair about Truman Capote and thought about how it would have been great to hear him describe JA.

  21. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:
  22. CUNTBunnies! says:

    ZOMG bunnies! Beekeeper donkey!

    [img]http://media.treehugger.com/assets/images/2012/11/beekeeping_donkey.jpg.492x0_q85_crop-smart.jpg[/img]

    (Sometimes I feel bad for donkeys because they’re so fucking cute and JA is so… NOT, and I feel somehow we’re maligning the good names of donkeys worldwide. But still, this one is adorbs! Also I might be a bit drink.)

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      And this donkey has a job.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Being allergic to bees, I feel bad about the desk errand this donkey had to do!

      I wonder what its hat says … “TOP”? … “STOP”? … “AESOP”? I’m now reminded of Aesop’s fable re: a lazy d0nkey who faked its work schtick one time too many, then it backfired …

      ASSOP’S STABLE: Mulia Mallison on Life with a Gay Boyfriend

      • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

        Now that is an idea for a reality show: “I married my gay boyfriend!”.

    • Tingolayo says:

      They’re adorable and they work hard (mules, too) so I feel bad for associating them with dishonest grifters, too.

      Does his bonnet say “Metro Stop” or something?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/24pgrba.png[/img]

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        I am as stunned now as I was when the pics of her and her lifelong sisters wearing those ridonkulous outfits first appeared. What ever made her think that wide white pants would look good on her raft ass???

  23. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    I hope you guys are happy that you’ve gotten me hopelessly addicted to Downton Abbey. I’m almost done with season one and was up all freaking night watching episodes.

    • Grammarian says:

      having seen seasons 2 and 3 i can say that 1 was the best tho there are some long, slow arcs in 2 that are worth the follow. 3 was meh.

  24. [REDACTED'S] mom says:

    Hey, where is everybody? I’ve been busy with personal life stuff and just touching down lightly here the last couple of weeks, but every time I stop by, the posts have so few responses. Did I miss something? What’s going on (or not going on)??

    I’m feeling a little forlorn…

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      D0nkey has been unusually quiet of late … here’s my guess:
      Animule quarantine before & after that international flight.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      Hi there! Hope all is well. Yours are two really good questions. I am a completely loyal / obsessed RBD reader, who checks in several times a day. And in the past, when Julia has gone quietish and others have written to say they find her boring now, I still always checked in and had fun.

      For me, there has been some kind of shift in the last few weeks. I find Julia as one half of a couple with Debbie completely repulsive in a way I never did before. I thought she was idiotic and maddening and ridiculous and sometimes outrageously immoral…but I never felt so utterly turned off as I do now. I don’t understand the relationship to Goat Soap at all, and I find it completely “icky”.

      I suppose while she was hanging out in various normal worlds – the NY tech scene, the Silicon Valley / Zuckerberg crowd – her crayness was funny and revealing and amusing etc etc. But the grifters she spends her time with now – and I include Debbie – are themselves thoroughly revolting. I have only the tiniest initial interest in pointing fingers at them before the whole thing makes me want to puke.

      So I’ll never give up RBD, but I do find it a bit wierd following Julia at the moment.

      • Helena (Creates Evangelists By Delivering Unexpected Triumphs Of Customer Service) says:

        Well said, FS.

      • fig says:

        I feel pretty similar. The more Julia moves away from the mainstream the less interested I get in her.

        Watching her trying to “make it” while being completely delusional but gutsy was interesting. Seeing her among those crazy and annoying schemers is just repulsive. I can’t even muster enough interest to find out if she is a mark or a junior grifter herself.

  25. Subsidized Donk Den says:

    I will say this: her face looks a LOT better than it did a few months ago. It is nowhere near as puffy and she actually appears to have eyes again. Still, if you manage to sit through her entire chat with that love guru, you can tell that she comes close to saying “I couldn’t make a relationship last because I sucked at being a good, unselfish loving partner,” but she just *can’t* do it, so she says “I just needed to love myself more!” Yeah, okay.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      But if you look at her new facebook profile photo she is looking more plastic faced than ever – and her chompers look ridiculously fake. I’m guess she’s laid off the Restalyne and ramped up the Botox.

    • Tonyamichaela says:

      I think her face looks a little better too. The one thing I got from that video is she appears to have gained a lot of weight. There’s no way her metabolism can handle Devin-cooked meals after surviving on juice, eggs, and kale for years.

      • AFGHANI says:

        Not really disagreeing with anyone else about her face, but if we look at the big picture, her face is still f***ed beyond repair. We can split hairs and discuss current face vs face from 2 months ago, etc. But this is a girl who had an attractive face (almost no one would dispute this) after the 1st rd of nose job + chin implant. But insisted on botox, restylane, juviderm, etc. And she’ll never look nearly as good again. Not to mention the 2nd nose job and the ridiculous hair colors she’s worn over the past few yrs.

        The short version is, look at pictures from 2007-08 and all the rest of the face critiquing is hair-splitting.

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          Or pelt-splitting in this case.

        • SO NICE says:

          ITA.

        • Subsidized Donk Den says:

          True, it’s all relative at this point. I was just marveling at how different her face looks in the photo for this post as opposed to the post directly underneath. It’s hard to know how much aging would’ve changed her face, but she is actually starting to look human again.

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          It was more than Botox and the fillers that ruined her face. They wear off after a number of months. I think she had some plastic surgery done on the cheap, her lifestyle (eating, sleep habits), and batshit craziness have made her complexion look dull and waxy, and just plain shitty.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Her eyes have disappeared and have never returned, that’s what I find so weird. And her overbite is worse than ever. Her whole face has morphed into an entirely different one. So bizarre.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            The disappearing eyes could be because of gaining weight, and it showing up on her face. But neither that nor the overbite is the result of Botox or the fillers. Not even when done by a shitty practitioner who’d trade for nonexistent shills.

  26. Don Quixote says:

    Can someone please embed the new Facebook photo of her with “the boyfriend”, wearing the brown CORDUROY blazer, BLUE skort, and BEIGE boots? It truly is a trainwreck. If I chose to style myself that way it would only be because I was hung over and hungry.

    And to top that all off Debbie is wearing a BROWN puffy vest…. and boat shoes. They have to have planned this horrible color scheme (it’s SO cute when couples want to match outfits!)

    I would love anyone who can embed it because I’m a nimrod and can’t figure it out.

  27. Donkey Doodle says:

    A large part of her checklist is the guy basically having his entire life together already and her just slotting into it. Does she realize this makes her totally dispensable? It’s just as easy for someone with a full life to switch out girlfriends when he hasn’t built a life WITH someone.

  28. Andy Whorehol says:

    Better TV(the station *still* weirdly obsessed with all things smeared with Nonsociety’s stench) just posted this gem. I don’t know which is the more pathetic part: the fact that The Donk&Debby Show felt the need to grift fugly new bedsheets or the fact that I felt the need to watch and then post this shit. Watch at your stomach’s own risk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sC5NIl1fpo

    • donkolnikov says:

      he just sits there with his arm wrapped around her like a human snuggie, laughing when cued. he has less personality than a bucket.

      seriously her dating this guy is karma – compare him to the guys she thought she could marry just a year ago.

      • Andy Whorehol says:

        Admittedly, I find his awkwardly boring demeanor oddly fascinating. He’s like the poor man’s Tom Cruise, only without an iota of talent/career heights/crazy closeted Scientology beliefs.
        Also, nice sweater.
        Also, Julia Allison seems drugged and depressed underneath the forced snorts of delight and “happy in love” exterior. She’s tots the poor man’s Katie Holmes in this sad mess.

        Gosh, just look what you missed out on, Jacob!

    • New Year New You says:

      Nothing hotter than poop color bedding.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      That is the lamest before and after I’ve ever seen. Ever. They changed the sheets? I am dying.

      • Andy Whorehol says:

        Yet they kept the pink nursery bedside lamps. I repeat: they KEPT the pink nursery bedside lamps.

      • Prof. F Camping says:

        Grifting for sheets. SHEETS.
        Fat, lazy, and stupid is no way to go through life, Julie.
        This is exactly what your Stanford and Princeton-educated parents had in mind for their first-born. Thank god they got an insurance policy (=Britt).

        ps. the end result of the “makeover” may be more shiteous than what they started with.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      They need a script doctor.

      “Does that mean you’re moving in?”
      (Long pause.) “A little bit. For now. For now. Doing a soft move-in.”

      • Prof. F Camping says:

        “What happened to your new column? Wasn’t it supposed to launch yesterday [March 1]?”

        Julia: “That was a rough launch date!”

        -March 2, 2011

      • Prof. F Camping says:

        ps. his move-in isn’t the only thing that’s soft.

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      PS. see, naysayers, julie’s famewhore switch has not been turned off. maybe she’s toned it down, but the shills and grifts they keep on coming, even if they are smaller-scale and fewer and far between. how far she’s fallen from the “big time” of fox news and tony.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Jesus Haploid Christ, this is just

      no

      no words

      canklehausen burns so much

    • Tingolayo says:

      Not only is that the lamest, most pointless thing ever, it’s not even light, fluffy fun. I know her big apologia for her ridiculous content is that it’s supposed to “make you smile” or “brighten your day” (i.e., “Don’t take it so seriously”) or whatever she says when she poses as a commenter. But this is just DUMM with two m’s.

      I like to look at nail polish swatches and toilet paper roll art and babies with popsicles and Antoine Dodson remixes as much as the next person, but these two dipshits GETTING NEW SHEETS??? I simply cannot. And I’m a girly-girl who likes shopping for linens.

Comments are closed.