Julia Allison Travels To Mystical Foreign Land Where She Will Inadvertantly Be Made To Haul Crops Up A Steep Andean Trail

And no doubt she’ll be a lazy ass donkey who fucks up that job too.

En route to Peru for two weeks! (You know it’s a real adventure when you’d rather be home in bed!!)

She’s on some sort of grifter world tour where she will have a nonexistent spiritual awakening for her nonexistent business.

In 8 hours, I’m leaving the country for the Entrepreneurial Awakening retreat in Peru Oct 19-Nov 1. The group will be embarking upon an inspirational journey deep into indigenous Peruvian culture designed to awaken to our deeper life purposes so that we can bring it to the world through our work … Wish me luck on this adventure. Love to you all. xx

Here’s an entrepreneurial awakening that you don’t have to travel to another continent for: GET A JOB, YOU FUCKTARD!

Hey, remember when you called me racist?

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30 Responses to Julia Allison Travels To Mystical Foreign Land Where She Will Inadvertantly Be Made To Haul Crops Up A Steep Andean Trail

  1. CDB says:

    Que verguenza

  2. melting marionette says:

    it’s been said before, but i’ll say it again: other people would kill for the opportunities she has been given.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I would love to go to the Andes, but not with any group o’ grifters, particularly not one that included greasy sex gargoyle Michael Ellsberg and his embarrassing wife Jenna LaFlamme. Their proximity would ruin anything.

      • Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

        He really is disgusting.

        I hate privileged, useless offspring of great people. His dad was worth a shit. Sex Gargoyle is such trash.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        What kind of name is Jenna LaFlamme? That of a Parisian streetwalker? An overeager contestant on Ru Paul’s Drag Race? A smarmy grifter attempting to fleece lazy, get rich quick, wannabe entrepreneurs out of their parents’ dough? Or D) all of the above?

  3. The_Manta says:

    The only entrepreneur on that trip is the dude paid to lead it. Everyone else is a bunch of marks.

    • Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

      This comment makes me horny.

    • Belle says:

      Can we get a “like” button in here? Because I would push it 10 times for this comment.

      • You can also scan says:

        I think the Like button deserves another shot. The site is a lot calmer now and wont be punished by the Ajax refreshes. If it is, then you guys can get rid of it again.

  4. Tingolayo says:

    So indigenous Peruvian culture is about plastic tutus and fashion shows and Botox? I had no idea, but I guess I’m not very “spiritual.” I wonder if they’ll have traditional Peruvian food, such as maltodextrin, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, yellow 5, and yellow 6, served in a cardboard box.

  5. Stinky Velour Couture says:

    Julie is missing Slut-o-weiner??
    Yea! That is a small step in the right direction.

    She doesn’t deserve this opportunity, and won’t see anything
    beyond her pink! iPhone!

    • CaptainGary says:

      Oh my Greg! Folks, I think we’re in the midst of witnessing yet another burned bridge/incomplete grift-and-shill and we may not have even noticed. Bear with me for a moment, won’t you?

      So JuLIAR is off to the Andes for two weeks? That would mean she’ll miss Halloween, long noted as her OMGFAVORITEHOLIDAYEVAR. That means she won’t be dressing up in slooty, flammable slootwear…made by Yandy. Who recently paid her to tweet and run a contest.

      Well, who won that contest? And is it reasonable to assume that a company that pretty much only makes slooty Halloween wear might want their shill/spokesperson/Slutoween Queen Bee to, you know, have photos of herself at Halloween this year?

      Is she skipping out on yet another contractual obligation?

      /conspiracy rant

      • Albie Quirky says:

        She will announce the winner of the contest as soon as she finishes writing up her free trip to Sweden! Feel free to relax!

        She is so bad at shilling.

  6. Scooby Don't says:

    Here’s hoping she doesn’t get left on a railway platform wearing a label saying ” Please look after this donkey”.
    #notPaddingtonDonkey.

  7. Who do you think you are? says:

    Looks like I was rung from the past. Which means that commenter from 2010 has Julia’s hooves all over it.

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      God I hate when I over ANALize things!

      That thread in the comments about the unproductive boss just made me LOL for 10 minutes. That’s my boss, always fucking around on her phone, etc. and dragging me into it.

  8. JFA says:

    CANNOT WAIT for all her life-affirming ZOMG MY LIFE IS CHANGED FOREVER bullshit deep thought by jack handey tweets. Or until she comes home and absolutely nothing is different.

    The description of this event makes me want to fucking punch kittens. As does the idea that travel to such a beautiful place is wasted on such a useless undeserving piece of shit. Sometimes there is no justice.

  9. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    SO MUCH FUCKING SELF-IMPORTANT MELODRAMA

    Jesus, what a vapid self-obsessed tool she is. Why does she need a “spiritual awakening?” Because her life is soooo difficult? She talks as though she’s just been released from captivity from a cave in Afghanistan after being raped and tortured for months. Whatsa matter, fuckhead, did Lilly require an especially early walk before 2 p.m. a few times this week? Are your ends split? Did your manicure chip?

    • JFA says:

      I think it’s more along the lines of “nothing better to do.” Like most of what she does.

      It’s not even first world problems at this point. I don’t even know what the fuck you call this level of entitled ignorant ridiculousness.

  10. Sad Times says:

    I promise these people are going to participate in Ayahuasca (a drug) fueled “ceremonies” that are said to bring on “enlightenment.”

    Elle magazine, of all place, has an article about it this month. Popular in Peru, it cures eat disorders and low self esteem/inadequacy; has JA written all over it.

  11. I just can't - says:

    Please – someone – explain to me:

    1. what do these people do to make money (if they are rich kids why do they pretend to have “careers” – I know rich kids and that’s ok, but much worse to pretend)?

    2. shitting all over things I could give a fuck about is ok – but not things that are semi-cool – like Burning Man was once a credible art gathering – but dressing in stupid outfits you bought isn’t “creating” anything – it’s being a poser – WHY MUST THEY GO THERE???? CAN’T THEY JUST PRETEND TO BE EUROPEAN LIKE NORMAL RICH KIDS????

  12. lu says:

    “The group will be embarking upon an inspirational journey deep into indigenous Peruvian culture designed to awaken to our deeper life purposes so that we can bring it to the world through our work.”

    How perfectly White of her.

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