Julia Allison Clues You Into What She Reads While She Takes A Dump

I wouldn’t function properly w/o reading these: @GOOD @TheAtlantic @FastCompany @Inc @Forbes @nytimes @PsychToday @EntMagazine @ELLEmagazine

I mean, how else would that tweet make remotely any sense unless she were referencing her bowels? What is she trying to say?  “Hey, Ajerbaijan! Reading about trendy business practices and pop psychology helped me squeeze out the kale juice and pureed winter squash without my ass exploding!” Certainly she’s not implying that if you want to be a fantastically epic failure just like Julia Allison then you need to subscribe to these publications stat! That would require an inkling of self-awareness on her part.

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355 Responses to Julia Allison Clues You Into What She Reads While She Takes A Dump

  1. Lady Donk Donk says:


  2. juliajane says:

    I wonder who she is trying to impress by listing those magazines? There is always an ulterior motive, people.

  3. Grammariak says:

    Sad ballerina is sad

  4. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    Classic Juliar psychosis on display here. Her father never approved of her intellectually, so she’s constantly trying (lying) to look SO SMART.

    Also remember she is always lying, ALWAYS, about every….little…goddam….thing….so she’s lying here, too. No way she actually reads all of these. She might buy a copy at a Hudson News at SFO and get a real pussy boner over the idea of it, but this bitch doesn’t read.

    • Skirt Pull says:

      Especially not GOOD. Another attempt to get in with Goldhirsch.

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      maybe she means she reads the TWEETS from those news sources….
      the lightweight version of reading dead trees version—yo–gang sign–I.T.–
      legalese, Bunnies!!

  5. Paid-for Twitter Follower says:

    I wouldn’t function properly if I didn’t read:
    1. Pig of Love (Elle)
    2. Social Studies (Calcutta Herald)
    3. Time Out New York (for the photoshoots)
    4. That other free NY mag (when I find it on the subway)
    5. Sex on the Hilltop (OMG Georgetown)
    6. NonSociety (Tumblr, sideways)

    • Tingolayo says:

      Calcutta Herald!

      Shouldn’t a writer write? Shouldn’t she be churning out pages and pages of new content? Updating her blog constantly? Or does she just wait around for some Bravo tie-in opportunity, where she’s asked to submit a few paragraphs (and then complains how haaaarrrrddd it is)?

      Doesn’t a journalist ever cover things out of intellectual curiosity, and then get them published, or publish them herself? She’s a writer the way Kim Zolciak is a singer and Sheree whatshername from RHOA is an actress. I thought writers were passionate, and you couldn’t keep them from writing.

      (Blah blah blah a bunch of excuses about how nobody will publish you unless you dress up like the condom fairy) Just WRITE. You have a frickin website.

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        OT (but you invoked RHOA actresses):
        Anyone catch NeNe Leakes in THE NEW NORMAL?

        Kind of soon to be sure, but I think I’m going to love that show, & I do already think NeNe is perfectly cast.

        See there, D0nkey-Who-Never-Reads-Here?
        Be truly authentic, let your cunty freak flag fly, & work it.

        • Factory Seconds says:

          I heard it’s gotten better, but I couldn’t even make it half way through the second episode.

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            Yeah, there’s some much-needed character development (not Ellen Barkin nor NeNe though) or something that drops by the wayside, I can not really remember what it is that I found fault w/, but I do have hopes for it rounding out.

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          She can never do that, because it flies in the face of her delusions of being loved, admired, and envied. Donks has to be worshipped, not a love-to-hate type.

      • Mazen Carleton says:

        Sheree Whitfield. Her husband is a broke ex-NFL player who skillfully got his alimony/child support lowered by using his OMG Stanford education and representing himself, while Sheree was represented by some borderline-illiterate fellow Housewife.

  6. JFA says:

    Entrepreneur magazine LOLLLLLLLLLL.

    Okay then. God, just fuck off already.

    • Tingolayo says:

      It’s where she culls all her catch phrases, to be regurgitated later as if she’d thought of them herself. That’s a normal, healthy, functioning “expert,” right?

      • JFA says:

        At least one or two others are also similar tool-ish entrepreneury griftery goodness mags. Because if she reads those, it means she’s a tech power player, clearly.

  7. JFA says:

    At least she doesn’t lie about reading the New Yorker. #smallcomforts

    Maybe try a book sometimes, dickhead. One that doesn’t offer life advice.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Remember when someone somewhere challenged her on why she doesn’t read any decent fiction and she got all pissy and argued that she’d read nothing but great fiction as a child/teen (along with Ms. magazine, of course)? Oh that was funny.

      • JFA says:

        She read The Fountainhead when she was 14!!!!

        Has she ever even CLAIMED to like one good literary writer? Ever?? No, no i don’t thinks he has. I wonder who her fave writers are?!?! Oh right, she has none. Zero. How about her fave poets and movie directors? (crickets)

        • JFA says:

          oh, jesus. I love how she expects everyone to believe this, all her other bullshit, but especially the bullshit that she was OMG SUCH A BIG NERD as a youngster. yeah okay. I’m sure you were very studious and bookish. totally explains failing out of Indiana U., barely graduating Georgetown, failing to get into harvard b-school, presenting yourself as a veritable idiot the rest of the time, etc.

          Just stop trying. People who are smart don’t try this hard to appear smart. They just act smart because they are. Kinda like everyone in your family except for you.

        • Greg says:

          It is a year later and she is still braying the same insane stupid shit.

          I thought I was on to an original thought with her and the non-reading of any pleasure books in an earlier post but I should have known better!

          SELF, PLEASE FORGIVE ME/YOU/US, for I have been incautious and unimaginative in the realm of the Donk. Nothing is new under the sun.

          Her presence and My/Your/Our presence critiquing her is merely a meta version of that existence and that criticism. A Hasselhoffian recursion of “she get knocked down / and she get up again” if you will.

          Good night, my peons.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        She read ALL THE BOOKS.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          One of the most hilarious assertions she’s made. Great books? Haz read dem all. Naturally, now it’s time for grifter self help books and empty business buzzwords.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Next time Donkey visits our basement, she needs to note some of the book titles we mention so she can try reading something good.

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        For the attention-whoring political science major who purchased thousands upon thousands of fans in the ‘stans twitter followers, why isn’t D0nkey reading name-dropping highly-acclaimed non-fiction titles such as:
        Anna Badkhen is a badass … Mulia Mallison is just an ass.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      Don’t give her any ideas!

      I can see Miss I-never-read-here adding The New Yorker to her fake list of reads.

      • JFA says:

        I’m honestly surprised she doesn’t lie about reading that. She’s probably scared because the articles are too long to lie about reading.

        Also, no Wall Street journal??? But all the business leaders are reading it!!!!

      • Jordache & the Pelts says:

        I seem to remember her name was mentioned in the Nick Denton piece two (?) years ago. I’m sure if this was over a decade ago and Tina Brown was still at the helm she’d be all name dropping over The New Yorker, faux reading it on the toilet. I somehow doubt The New Yorker was on the coffee table when she was growing – the Baughers do not strike me as particularly interested in anything cultural beyond their beige sphere. a prolife of Julia would be hilarious, because the publications famously fact-checks. Wasn’t she furiously tweeting Jinah Lehrer before his downfall? I don’t even think Julia would get any of the cartoons or even of the more frothy Talk of The Town pieces. But I did find this nugget:

    • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

      Based on the ink-scrawled-on-construction-paper sign this branding expert and her tech genius bf made for that airport pick-up, I’d suggest they put down the celebrity magazines and buy of copy of this:


      • Greg says:

        Belated reply but dear Greg, you’re right. It’s not like they have jobs that get in the way of real life or anything. Mayhaps they could use this time to learn some basic computer skills.

  8. Mandy says:

    “Does anyone know a really talented stylist (for men) in New York? Money isn’t an object. Email me: JA@JuliaAllison.com

    Off topic, but this is her latest tweet. Julia appears to have found a true partner and absolute enable for her special brand of madness, assuming the “for men” in this tweet is the boyfriend. Fully enabled will be the ultimate, insufferable train-wreck on steroids.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I think she’s looking for Tim Sykes.

      • SirClompsAlot says:

        “Money isn’t an object” FUCK YOU. God, she can’t even ask for a recommendation without bragging. Of course the asking is the bragging in itself. A real person would have connections like these and quietly use them.

        • JFA says:

          I think that’s also code for “Don’t worry it’s not for me, it’s for someone who pays money for services this time.”

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            Don’t worry it’s not for me
            Julia Allison is NOT pregnant!
            (& she still shills for freebies)

            Nothing new here; moving on.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            What is that horrible tent-like garment? Did she really wear it to Fashion Week? Who designed it, Honey Boo Boo’s middle sister?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I realize now that “EntMagazine” is the Twitter account for Entrepreneur, but for a horrifying moment I thought that it was some kind of Tolkien thing.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Funny, she’s been covering fashion week for 11 seasons and still needs to crowd source this stuff. But she worked at Elle and is friends with Rachel Zoe! It is to laugh!

  9. Tingolayo says:

    define “function properly”

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      Prancing around in tutus and tiaras with my gay boyfriend, while tweeting manically.

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      Going to the expense of dropping off / picking up your dog in another state & also flying two people coast-to-boast to play imaginary “NBC honor-correspondents” (complete w/ purrr-loined NBC mic flag) with each other outside inaccessible-to-them NYFW shows so as to fool both Dad$er & potential sponsors that one of ’em is in any form or ‘fashion’ (heh, see what I did there?) relevant & in-demand, even though the self-made videos never see the light of day beyond Julia Allison’s personal Vimeo account & her mockers on RBD.

      THAT, folks, is the epitome of Julia Allison & now Devlin Stetler “functioning properly”.

  10. SirClompsAlot says:

    What is it with Julias and toilet posing?

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      It’s a sign that she & Flusher Price were destined to be sisters 4evah!

  11. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    Could we all just pause and take a few seconds to understand that Julia gave her phone or camera to someone and asked them to take a picture of her…then she went and sat down on the closed lid of a toilet and got into this pose. Just think about that moment.

    • Tingolayo says:

      That is insane. A photo of you while you’re putting on your bought-as-a-costume pointe shoes… maybe someone will think you’re backstage at the Bolshoi. Or that you can actually go on pointe.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      The rules about toilet photography haven’t been codified yet!!!

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      Well, it seems that it was determined back then that what Julia Allison must have done is set up her camera for an auto-delay shot (or 70) & then jumped into position on the toilet, half-dressed, for a “candid” tranny-wreck shot.

      No hotel employees were harmed in the making of this pitifully staged fauxto.

      It’s akin to Mary Rambin taking fauxtographs of herself ‘sleeping’, because yeah, that is as normal as it is believable.

      • Fameless Shamewhore says:

        No! I missed that! OK, now *that* is the only thing crazier than getting a friend to do it!

        • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

          All we can really be sure of is that JABa’s cameras function properly.

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            Another pathetic fauxto she took of herself:

          • Lily's Third Eye says:


          • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

            Is that tutu/tiara combo what she wears to bed when dead grandma’s nightgown is at the cleaners?

          • Greg says:

            Does she go to the cleaners, though?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            TaskRabbit, surely?

          • JFA says:

            Oh the ballerina “costume.” You’d think someone who spends so much time in costumes would understand that this is not even a costume. it’s her dressing up as a pretty pretty ballerina. halloween is supposed to be fun and kitschy you dumbass. I’d maybe forgive this kind of behavior in an 8 year old girl.

            Just think of how much money she spent on that getup. to drive around LA to parties she wasn’t even invited to. LOSER.

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            Julia Allison Baugher’s dragstume budget is a level of cray-cray all its own.

            For instance: some of this she actually dragged across the country on a flight, & some of it she acquired during her frenzied slutoween shop-a-thon. Freaky weirdo, that one.


    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      That was the Halloween when Julia was in full stalk mode (the Tom Cruise impersonator?) and had a meltdown in LA (and posed on the “statue” in the hotel lobby). she went to party like this in her her dirty tutu and flats. I think she had one of her sisterectomies with her.

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        Shira Lazar was her captive for the night, only because Leven Rambin outsmarted & outran D0nkey.

        • Jordache & the Pelts says:

          Oh yeah the Leven alley pics. Good times. And Julia was still determined to move to LA after that? Leven must have been “on location” during the Miss Advised production.

    • Gone with the Drapes says:

      was this when redacted was already dating the hot dancer he married, or just starting?

    • sarah says:

      I’m also marveling that she chose to put the pointe clad foot up, and kept the stocking foot all pointy ON THE FLOOR while the whole point of the pose was to show ballerina putting on her pointe shoes. Such a common girly, teenage ballerina poster pose (usually not on the toilet though…that was a special touch) and girlfriend got it backwards. She fails so freaking hard, it’s mind boggling.

      • julia's authentic pelts says:

        Didn’t we figure out that she spent several hundred on this particular dragstume? She bought it all last-minute at a dance supply store, where everything is marked up bigtime. I will never understand how her finances work.

  12. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Any good tips about Flusher’s departure? Its been a while since we heard any little birdies chirping.

  13. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    Braying that list like we’re not all No1curr bears is pretty odd, Donkey, but not as wrong as your assertion that you function properly.

    • JFA says:

      Excuse you, but in case you haven’t heard, she has A BOYFRIEND now. A TALENTED LOVER COOK COOK LIVE IN PARTNER. She also does yoga and is writing a book. What have YOU done lately?

      She’s the happiest, most well-adjusted she’s ever been, fuck you very much. Since the last time she claimed to be the healthiest, most well-adjusted she’s ever been. This is the love of her life. Since jack mccain barely 2 years ago.


  14. Peltergeist says:

    What’s the endgame here? Does she just not have anything to say and felt she needed to tweet? Is she trying to be featured in these publications, or write for them? Does she understand that the people who handle their social media are not the actual journalists?

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      My Guess: She intends to manipulate SEO hits that will forever link her name to these publications. Effective when her name is merely googled rather than due diligence actually being performed by potential sponsors, in the mind’s eye of a shilldebeast d0nkey.

      *wink wink*

  15. Jack the Bulldog says:

    Even if unemployed and occasionally dragging one’s boyfriend along to media events where the two of you pretend to be network journalists, courtesy of sharing a stolen NBC mic, no one has time to read all of these publications on a regular basis. And Donkey, Psychology Today is considered a rag, both by mental health professionals and the university educated public, so you might want to substitute something here. The London Review of Books? Even though you never read anything that could be considered literature? But Dad$er will think you’re super smart! You’re welcome.

    • featherbrained says:

      It’s a total rag to us Mental Health professionals. I will say, both for MH professionals and non-professionals, the NYT MH stories are actually quite good. And I’m not a fan of the NYT lately.

  16. Scooby Don't says:

    No no no no Donkey!
    You’d think a professional BovineFaecesPurveyor like yourself would realize that glossy pages are a mess waiting to happen and don’t flush worth a crap.
    Stick to the NYT and the WSJ for your functional needs.
    Life must be tough in the PinkPalace:MDR when you’re reduced to recycling your glossies for bog roll.
    Guess any local women’s shelters are shit out of luck for donations this month.

  17. Don Quixote says:

    @JuliaAllison but what about the magazine that put you on the cover?! 😉

    @tgoetz – FU-K! I totally forgot to include @WIRED! I subscribe to the paper version (I know, so old school), that’s why I blanked!

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      Good save, D0nkey. You’re golden.

    • JFA says:

      God she’s so out of touch with the world. Like subscribing to a “paper version” of a magazine is SO OLD SCHOOL ZOMG!!!!!

    • Greg says:

      why does forgetting to name a stupid magazine warrant an F-bomb? JESUS GREGGING CHRIST, JULESIE, NO1CURR.

      • Jordache & the Pelts says:

        Yeah, I’ve been finding the swear tweeting kinda crass. Guess she’s given up on legitimate, paying writing gigs because this edgy posturing is a fail. Julia’s confusing her notion of outrageous with sad and desperate and thud.

        • Greg says:

          It’s also, in my mind anyway, not a good fit with her new Earth Mama personality. I don’t picture Serenity Now Barbie cursing.

          • Helena (Vitruvian Donkey) says:

            Whatever the character, she never gets it right.

            It’s hard to be a dumb sociopath.

  18. Princess WideStance says:


    • Albie Quirky says:

      It is exciting to see a jp post! Hope things are going well, jp.

      And Jacy has been absolutely knocking it out of the park lately, too.

  19. Bravo's Bitch says:

    Hick. And since I live in Buffalo and think she’s a hick, her hick flag is flying high and mighty.

  20. Lady Donk Donk says:

    Good magazine is such a piece of toilet paper funded by some rich kids father they originally hired some drug addict loser who happened to be al gore’s son.

    • JFA says:

      what the hell is it? I couldnt’ even get the website to work from my work computer here. Always a good sign.

      • featherbrained says:

        Same here. It seems to be a website for people who want to “DO GOOD” but do they have a print magazine?

        Also, just got to the website, the tagline is “GOOD HQ’s picks of what’s good to learn and do today.” It is to laugh…

        What’s good for Julia is googling herself.

        • featherbrained says:



          So, send a cashier a book you’ve read, and improve literacy? Ignore the issues of income and racial disparity, literacy levels, access to good education etc…

          Send books.

          This kind of bullshit always sends me over the edge. No thanks, GOOD. But I can see why GOOD makes people like Julia Allison, who enjoy being paternalistic and idiotic in their approach to helping others, feel GOOD.

          • JFA says:

            Yeah their website is so thrilling and obviously paradigm shifting that it doesn’t work on my version of IE.

            Condescending magazine no one’s ever heard of = yeah pretty much what I would imagine Julia Allison not being able to live without.

      • featherbrained says:

        Was it GOOD when Julia Allison proposed leaving her old, read, magazines at DV shelters?

        • Albie Quirky says:

          That would probably be seen as amazing philanthropy by the dickweeds who run GOOD, yeah.

  21. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    Lewis Howes
    about an hour ago near West Hollywood, CA ·
    whats the best way to relax your heart when you feel a pain there?

    Trouble with the original Toilet Julia?

    • Albie Quirky says:


    • fig says:

      Eh, i just assume he meant it literal and is having indigestion.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Me too! Because he’s another dim bulb.

        Although TJ also Tweeted something cryptic recently about only-being-around-when-the-cameras-are-on-whatever-the-fuck that we thought might be directed at Donk but perhaps was directed at this lunkhead.

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:


    • melting marionette says:

      beta blockers would work a treat.

  22. Sake Bombardier says:

    His heart wants things to be different than how they are.

  23. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    I need a break from running desk errands. Not that anyone cares but….

    As is known, the Silicon Valley show is produced by Randi Z + Bravo
    Hermione Way is the “star” and has been pushing the show’s concept since she moved to SF ~2 years ago
    Hermione is very good friends with Sarah Austin (the “fued” is b.s. for the show http://www.bravotv.com/people/sarah-austin/bio)
    Sarah Austin was not the first life-caster. She became famous for crashing TechCrunch’s annual SV party and getting kicked out.
    Sarah Austin’s ex is Bear Kittay (I shit you not on the name. Comes from money, wantrepreneur, burner, etc)
    They lived together just a block or two from the show’s house in the Castro (“The Villa”), then she moved into the Four Seasons in Palo Alto (and has been shilling for them during filming)
    Amber Rae started dating Bear just a few weeks after he and Sarah broke up. They were nauseating.
    Amber Rae used to be big in the NY social media “startup” scene until she moved to SF, then Colorado.
    Somewhere in there she worked for Seth Godin, which inspired the Bold Academy stuff.
    JABs could get back on the TV through one of these people (though probably cast as their mom….)

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Jesus fuck, a perfect storm of grift and posing.

      Do you know what Amber Rae’s actual last name is?

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Reading about these people makes me think of these lyrics:
      As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
      I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
      Of society offenders who might well be underground,
      And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!

      • Greg says:

        These people are also very fond of stupid titles.

        Lead Evangelist
        Social Alchemist
        Living Self-Help Book

        • Prof. F Camping says:

          “Internet Enthusiast” fits right in.

        • Princess WideStance says:

          OH MAN, do I hate crap like that. Like a lot of other cat peeps I have actual friends in the tech world and they are hard-working, amazing people with real job titles and real jobs.

          Some of them are a bit glamorous actually, but it’s a quiet glamour, if that makes sense. They are brilliant people with good taste who would never, ever do this kind of horrifying self-promotional bullshit. Arrrgh.

        • Norse Horse says:

          Leada Evangelista was my favorite 90’s supermodel!

      • Lily's Third Eye says:

        Time for a modified limited hangout.

    • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

      Here’s the backstory on the TechCrunch/Sarah Austin/Sarah Meyers thing (yes, another name-changer). She’s a weird one. Sometimes I wonder if she doesn’t have Asperger’s or something.


      Her old site has some Julia stuff that’s probably been posted before, but always fun to review. Like:


      “… Julia Allison the dating journalist, talking head, and Internet mega-celebrity. She makes frequent appearances on Fox (that’s what she was doing when I ran into her right after the Perry Ellis fashion show in New York City). From reading around it seemed clear that she was not dating Jakob Lodwick, founder of IAC-controlled video site Vimeo or Mike Arrington from Tech Crunch.”

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      Glancing through pics on her site / sight / cite, it seems that Sarah was cute & has now become more attractive … someone should do a pic-per-year side-by-side comparison of her & D0nkey (for ALL THE GIRLS, so that they can see what happens when all you do is inject crap into your face).

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      I wonder what Donkey’s chances are of getting on TV since her and Randi aren’t sisters anymore.

  24. Tonyamichaela says:

    Oh my god. That Elle sex article she is tweeting so enthusiatically about. I’ve read less than half, and I just KANT!

  25. skye504 says:

    Knowing that I read even remotely the same publications as her makes me want to burn all my current issues and cancel my subscriptions! I can’t read the same stuff as the Donk! No effing way. But then again, does she REALLY read them?

    • Greg says:

      I think it is safe to say she does NOT. She cherry-picks and live-tweets articles and cuts out 140-character quotes, but no.

  26. Antibiotics with a Side of Antibiotics says:

    OT but I’m hoping someone here can help me find a link that was posted on one of the more recent entries. It was a story about a female (Asian I believe) sociopathic liar and how she duped tons of people and ended up in jail. Someone posted it comparing her to Julia but I can’t remember how to find the link or what publication it was originally published in. Does anyone remember the link or story?

  27. Norse Horse says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    “It’s probably easier to get a consensus on any subject other than sex.” – Daphne Merkin – in @ELLEmagazine

    5h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    “Insistence on gender equality [halted] articulation of desires that don’t speak to a carefully maintained balance of power b/t couples.” DM

    5h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    “We live in postfeminist, assiduously pc times that don’t allow for much deviation from ‘enlightened’ behavior in the bedroom.” – D. Merkin

    What in the FUCK is this all about? That “political correctness”, or “post-feminism” is somehow thwarting nice middle-class white ladies in the bedroom somehow?

    I’m calling Camille Paglia on her bat-phone right now. (She lives in a belfry.) Because I need some ‘splainin’ about what these spoiled women , Merkin And Donkey, are kvetching about now. Donkey seems sexually frustrated for some mysterious reason. Debbie Seltzer may not be up to his manly duties in the bedroom. Let’s all guess why.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Daphne Merkin is a trust fund lady whose entire literary career has revolved around how she likes to get spanked.

    • JFA says:

      Ugh, whatever. Also so subtle linking to the magazine that “hired” you simply for publicity and for which you will probably never work again. HEY HATERZ MY MAG IS AWESOME LOOK AT THE INTELLIGENTS IN IT.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Frustrated indeed.. Dude’s hung like a Ken Doll™

    • Tonyamichaela says:

      This article was so up it’s own ass that I had to skip entire paragraphs, because I just couldn’t handle it.

      “What strikes me as truly strange, however, is this: I’m older than these women and should by all rights be envious of their paradise of sexual opportunities, but I find myself feeling sorry for them instead—just as I winced when I watched Girls, finding it as sad as it was funny.” Young women and the characters in Girls are pathetic for having casual sex? Why don’t they try having a weird obsession with spanking, like Daphne Merkin?

      “Sexual arousal, to the extent that it takes place in the brain as much as in the body, is one of the most subjective of all pleasures, encoded in highly individualized scripts that contain our psychic histories in the form of charged images and fantasies. The details of these scripts—or “microdots,” as the psychiatrist Robert Stoller calls them in his book Sexual Excitement—are designed to reproduce and, ideally, repair past traumas and humiliations that we carry with us from childhood.” This is so Freudian! “Microdots” sounds sciency LOL. Using sex to deal with past traumas seems totally healthy and gratifying, why don’t the characters in Girls try this?

      “Where are the extramarital love affairs that were all the rage in the ’70s, endlessly described in novels like John Updike’s Couples and analyzed in the pages of women’s magazines? If they exist—and undoubtedly they do—they’re no longer touted as attempts to break free of stultifying marital conventions in favor of a more authentically lived existence. And why do younger women seem so rarely to be the objects of romantic pursuit or breathless seduction and much more likely to be willing partners in what one 23-year-old woman I know refers to, somewhat defeatedly, as “goal-oriented sex”?”
      What happened to all the extramarital affairs for all the girls? Julia is an expert on goal-orientated sex, and she’s been in a loving, sexually-thrilling partnership with a dickless man for like three months now! Sorry Merkin, I think I’ll stick to my enlightened, politically-correct ways.

      • Grammarian says:

        did she date other people’s partners or did other people date her partners?

        • Tonyamichaela says:

          I could see her knowingly get spanked by a married man and feeling great about it. Her point seemed to be that affairs are passionate ooh la la, but it’s so juvenile to suggest that cheating on your spouse is living more authentically.

    • fig says:

      Does Miss ALL THE GIRLS seriously believe we live in postfeminist times? Casually throwing out a statement like this seriously bugs me.

    • Totaljing says:

      We live in a time of many more progressive (and card carrying feminists) are sex positive. We embrace our sexuality and break through gendered understanding of sex power dynamics. Men love it BTW, and so do same sex couples. That article is disturbing.

      Ugh, I hate Julia.

      • JFA says:

        That article was a rambling, overly self-referential mess. Jesus. no idea what her point was besides talking about her damn self.

        I was a women’s studies/english major and seeing JA talk about gender theory makes my blood boil. Sit the fuck down, moron. You know nothing about anything.

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      Daphne Merkin’s brother is Ezra Merkin—-Madoff feeder-fund scammer

  28. Anorexia Aphrodisia says:

    I feel like she partly wanted to announce this list of “civilian” mags because she thinks that these are what the cognoscenti read… Psychology Today is sexy but ridiculous – doctors read journals in their respective field, like Annals. People in the fashion industry read WWD. Business people don’t read Inc and Forbes, they read FT and Businessweek. And the entrepreneurs I know are generally too busy to read 9 magazines.

    Who reads periodicals like this anyway? I only have time to read some articles I see on Twitter.

  29. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    “We live in postfeminist, assiduously pc times that don’t allow for much deviation from ‘enlightened’ behavior in the bedroom.” – D. Merkin

    Transbraytion: “I have no idea that I am dating a closet case and am searching for excuses for his physical disinterest in me.”

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      What I get from it is that the author is bummed that simply lying there like a corpse won’t cut it. Sounds like someone who hates sex (except for spanking) & has never experienced intimacy, & so of course a d0nkey w/ daddy issues but no real sexual curiosity is going to glom onto her every written word.

      Maybe Tinkerballz is bi & they actually made a stab at making something work, but now he’s already bored & getting his kicks elsewhere?

    • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

      Maybe Debbie won’t play spank-bottom with her.

    • Tingolayo says:

      That’s JA’s kind of journalism right there: projecting your own personal experience/hang-ups in a sweeping statement with nothing to back it up. (Like all girls everywhere, I’ve been imagining my wedding since I was 10. No woman wants to be seen in a bathing suit. Women feel shame when they see fashion magazines. Every woman would kill, or at least give a blow job, for a pair of shoes. Like every single woman everywhere, I want a white knight to sweep me off my feet. If you say you don’t, you’re lying.)

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Every woman worries about eating bread and pasta. Women only work out until they land a man; then they let themselves go. Every woman wants to be treated like a princess. All women have an expiration date.

  30. Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

    According to her facebook, the ‘rents are coming to visit, so she needs to find a bunch of suitable topics for discussion.

    Can you imagine the cray going on in her head?

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      TRANSBRAYTION: Dad$er is going west to muck her financial stall of fail.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      What is Peter Baugher going to say when Devin Stetler rolls out of bed at 11:00am and has no where to go all day? I hope Devin Stetler wears the baseball t and short shorts in front of Peter Baugher 5 days in a row, per usual.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        That might be super-awkward. Especially if he’s doing yoga in the Dolphin shorts and all.

      • Mazen Bowdoin says:

        Her dad must secretly HATE Goat Soap. Imagine you get an education, work hard at your job, make prudent life decisions… and then your DonkDaughter runs off to hee-haw with a freeloading loser on your dime! I’d be pissed if I was Peter. Then again, Peter let her live like this for 3 decades, so I doubt he’ll really change much.

        • juliajane says:

          I don’t understand how any man or woman would feel comfortable living off their boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents. I mean, come on. It’s one thing if your partner decides to financially support, but their parents?

          • Mazen Berkeley says:

            It’s especially vexing because in the past it’s always been Le Donk living off of others, which relieved Dadster of check-writing responsibilities (even if temporarily). Remember–Jack McCain even booked Julia’s tickets for her to go back and forth (I can’t believe Julia leaked that onto this site/cite/sight(oh hai, MMBH))

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Did this guy not have a lease at his old, junky place?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      Also, something seems up with this Marina del Ray home visit/insanity check that Peter Baugher and Robin Baugher are doing. They just saw their daughter a month ago or less when she picked up Lily – then they met the boyfriend sometime before that.

      The holidays are coming up – so why do they have to fly out and see their daughter now? This can’t be seen as a vacation b/c Marina del Ray? No. So they must be checking in to see what the fuck is going on. These two met in May and they are co-habitating by September (or earlier?)

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        & don’t forget: Mom$er was there for Bra(y)vo filming …
        This is about Dad$er bailing D0nkey out of fail.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

          What’s he bailing her out of? I bet she asked him to cover the whole rent after Julia Price fled in horror, he said no and Donkey’s solution was to move Devin Stetler, unemployed male short-shorts wearer in.

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            *Probably* is what I should have said up yonder.

            She probably wants to walk clomp away from her car & apt lease & thinks he can pull some legal maneuvers that would allow her to do so w/out wrecking her credit.

            Her parent$ could probably bring the family fauxto album & work the developmentally-challenged-not-responsible-for-her-actions angle.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

            LOL, I can totally see him waltzing into the Mercedes C Class Dealers for Princesses Who Make Six Figures.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            OMG, I bet that’s why he’s coming. To throw lawyerly weight around at the car dealership. I wonder if they ever tire of having to rescue her from yet another bad decision.

          • juliajane says:

            He’s totally coming to bail her out of her ‘draconian’ Mercedes contract, and probably make arrangements for where she will live next as her current rent is so high. Heaven forbid Julia actually get a 9-5 job and pay for her own car lease and rent.

            I understand parents helping out their adult children when they get into a tight spot, but this is different. They are total enablers. How old is Dad$ers, 60ish? And he still goes to work every day, while his daughter, in the prime of her life, refuses to grow up.

          • Mazen Berkeley says:

            This was posted on GOMI earlier today but would apply here as well:

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        The Baughers probably had to rent the guest room via Airbnb. Sorry Donkey, that doesn’t count as living independently. Any way you spin it, it’s still your parents supporting you.

        • Prof. F Camping says:

          price has gone down $20 on Airbnb, and check out the new title for the post: “OMG GORGEOUS LUX beachside getaway!” and wouldn’t you know it, it’s blacked out for this and next week (check the calendar).

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            I am cracking up about the OMGnew title! It’s always funny when you see the origins of RBD memes being played out in real life.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Jesus, she reads here too often.

          • Leased D-Class TaskRabbit "boyfriend" (Formerly Floppy) says:

            I can’t get over how her room looks like a fucking nursery.

          • A Donkey is an Ass says:

            In the immortal words of Frank Reynolds:

            “Jesus Christ, the kid’s an idiot.”

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            huge floor-to-ceiling windows that not only fill the place with natural sunlight, but open up to an ocean view

            There wasn’t a single fauxto of the beach as seen through a condo window, was there? Nor is there a single fauxto of the condo as seen from the beach, is there?

            Anyone else find the claim of ‘beachside’ deceiving, if / when the beach is actually half a block away, & not right out the condo door?

            I was puzzled by the laundry room wall also … it looked to be at too much of an angle for the dryer door to fully open.

        • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

          Wait … the new broommate is just getting settled in & so D0nkey has to have out-of-town guests right during the two-month stint that the new pointy sister is there?

      • Jordache & the Pelts says:

        Doesn’t momser’s family live outside of LA? Her father recently passed so maybe they have to do family business stuff. So strange that family.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Glendale, IIRC. It is possible that they’re clearing out the house or having an unveiling (Mama Bird’s father was the grandparent with a Jewish parent, right?) or some other family thing.

          Which Julie will skip out on, just as she skipped out on Grandpa’s memorial service to go to Comic-Con in an upside-down tiara and dirty dance on the Ugli Dolls.

          • Mazen Wellesley says:

            Yes, Glendale. They lived amongst Armenian guidos, basically.

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            Pacific Palisades.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Mama Bird grew up in Pacific Palisades, but later her folks moved to Glendale, per Grandpa’s obit. So we’re all right!

            Caitlin is the cousin who is the Reiki master or similar New Age thingy, yes?

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            Andrea… which now that I think about it is very curious. from which side is she a cousin? clearly not mentioned in grandpa’s obituary there, but also not a child of petey’s sister. (her last name is sholer, married name ruston).

          • Jordache & the Pelts says:

            It always bothered me how cavalier Julia seemed to be regarding her grandfather, like he was a nonentity … And he was living with her parents towards the end.

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            I well-imagine that the sweet ol’ guy had absolutely no use for D0nkey’s shenanigans & called her out on her bullshit.

            What I don’t get is why Mom$er & Dad$er don’t take a page from his playbook & call foul themselves — let D0nkey pout & stomp her pretty little hooves — as soon as she comes begging for money again, they’ll have her undivided attn again.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Andrea’s mum’s maiden name was Jacobs, same as Mama Bird’s mother’s maiden name, so presumably Andrea is the granddaughter of Robin’s uncle on the Jacobs side. (I.e., Andrea and Julie share great-grandparents, the Jacobses. And lo! We seem to have discovered the much-bragged-about Jewish heritage that doesn’t keep her from being faintly anti-Semitic, like, all the time.)

  31. Don Quixote says:

    “Boyfriend: What is that noise? [sounds of a child screaming.]
    Me: That, my dear, is Birth Control.”

    OH HAHAHA YOU ARE SO FUNNY! How clever! Why don’t you tweet every little private joke you have with your gay boyfriend because you are just SO FUNNY and WITTY!!

    • stalker says:

      Julia, please continue not breeding.


      The entire world

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        The entire world

        Well, maybe not the costume industry … but, yeah.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Or the mental healthcare industry. Can you imagine what a psychologically destabilizing double whammy her children will get from her? Julia genes and Julia “mothering”.

      • Leased D-Class TaskRabbit "boyfriend" (Formerly Floppy) says:

        She’s way too lazy and self centered to be a mother, Pancakes was her only “worth it” opportunity.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Her use of “my dear” annoys me almost as much as her heinous taste in shoes.

    • Tingolayo says:

      I’ve heard that joke like 12,000 times (loud child and/or frazzled parent in public=haha, there’s birth control right there!) Zzzzzzzzzzz… she’s so original.

    • JFA says:

      It’s not even sad enough she says shit like this. She then TWEETS it like it’s the most hilarious shit ever. She really does get a kick out of herself. Also, BOYFRIEND.

      • Grammarian says:

        Family Circus

      • diluted brain says:

        You just explained something that has boggled my mind from the time I have been following her (circa 2006 or so). I never understood why she would put her unfunny, unoriginal lame convos on her blog, twitter, whatever.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Transbraytion: Goat Soap doesn’t want kids, so she is pretending she doesn’t either.

      • JFA says:

        Yeah i was gonna say…something along these lines. All these people are having kids but I AM SO HAPPY I DON’T HAVE ANY. Until she does and it’s the greatest thing she’s ever done.

        sit down.

    • CDB says:

      Her face is birth control

  32. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    She has taken down the merkin tweets and the birth control joke.

    /Never reads here

  33. Prof. F Camping says:

    OT but also a propos, i came across this ad on a blog just now…


    • Gone with the Drapes says:

      Sad shopping ad is sad

    • darling dearest says:

      wow. fill the void???

    • frequent liar miles says:

      I used to like that magazine somewhat, in my more acquisitive days, but I haven’t checked it out for a while. That ad is so offensive on multiple levels, and it wasn’t like that back then as far as I recall. I guess I should have suspected it had gone completely downhill when it endorsed the sort of hoofcovers that only A Donkey would wear. (Sorry to any cafladies who owns ’em; I can’t look at them without picturing bulging Fred Flintstone feet overspilling their confines..)

      • stalker says:

        i hate-subscribe to it because I got like 3 years for fifty cents or something. The clothes are uniformly tacky and cheap-looking, and they have almost no diversity in their editorial views. I wouldn’t wear the outfits they feature even if I could afford them. I think Lucky used to feature affordable clothes but now everything is like $300+ except for the odd $40 polyester top or man-made shoe. I scoff. It’s really not that hard to find real leather & natural fibers so don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining, Lucky. I know I can get a pair of nice leather boots for $30-50 if I am careful and watch sales. Fuck your $300 wedge heels that are so ugly I wouldn’t let a dogshaming.com dog chew on them.


  34. Norse Horse says:

    Maybe when the parents come visiting, the nice lady from the “rest home” will be waiting outside the door with a hypo of tranquilizers. Which will come in handy when they lead her away, like Blanche DuBois. “Come along now Julia- it’s a beautiful place, you’ll see!” Dadsers will pay off Debbie with a wad of cash and a stern warning never to speak of this. Debbie will smile and nod.

  35. helobabe says:

    But, where’s the ineffable Julia Allison costume?


    Must be in the queue with her Miss Advised season two notification letter…

  36. Fashion Girl says:

    Off topic question for the litter box: Any recommendations for black opaque tights that are less expensive than Wolfords but won’t run/get overly stretchy after one wear? I had a ton of pairs last year from the Assets line at Target (which is Spanx lower-priced line), but this year they all have high waists, which I don’t like. I’ve had some luck in the past with American Apparel tights, but I prefer not to shop there on principle. I need to order some today, because I’m on my last decent pair.

    (I know that opinions here are mixed on black tights in general, but they are a staple of my fall and winter wardrobe, with dresses and boots. I still do not endorse them with summer-weight Aqua dresses and fake YSL platform shoes.)

  37. Prof. F Camping says:

    OT, can i just say i’m happy tatiana (lovelifelace) is back? i was just thinking about her old blog the other day. i hardly ever read gomi anymore, but when i saw the post about her i not only clicked over to her blog but also read all the comments on the gomi post. tati and her husband look great and happy, so that’s awesome.

  38. Real-life "Cathy" Cartoon says:

    OT, but wow Lasagna sure went out with a whimper and not a bang. Disappointing!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      ? Did anything more happen beyond her Tweets that “that’s my old boss and I haven’t worked for her since forever”? Or are you bemoaning the lack of a post-sisterectomy report from La Lasagna?

      • Real-life "Cathy" Cartoon says:

        I always assumed it would be a bitter, noisy split along the lines of Jordon but bigger and louder with threats from both sides and lots of Lasagna leakage over here.

      • Mazen Carleton says:

        Wait, did Lasagna tweet something? What’s her twitter? Or what are you referring to?

        • Albie Quirky says:

          When the horrible show was on, someone Tweeted to Lasagna something like “Hey, your boss is on TV” and she Tweeted back “Lol, that’s my ex-boss, I haven’t worked for her since a long time ago” or similar.

          • Mazen Wellesley says:

            Of course, Lasagna hasn’t worked for *anyone* in a few yrs.

            The “she’s special and needs a special amount of love” tweet was Lasagna’s best, IMO.

          • Mazen Wellesley says:

            I just visited Lasagna’s twitter. I guess she removed the “that’s NOT my boss” tweet.

            But from one of Lasagna’s retweet’s I learned that Nadia Bjorlin has a twitter and then remembered how hot she is (off topic, I know, so sorry and fat)

  39. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    So Twinkerballs and OMGAmberBray cooked dinner for Donk and the Baughers last night. Donk called Amber “our” roommate.

  40. Mazen Wellesley says:

    Does anyone know if Goat Soap have a twitter? Or tumblr?

  41. Norse Horse says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Final chance to become @TimeothySykes’ new wardrobe stylist. He just lost 35lbs & has 20k to spend! Email him: Tim@TimothySykes.com

    Okay, this is weird and she’s done this before I think: she misspelled his name in his Twitter handle, and I’m not sure it’s a mistake. For whatever reason, maybe she doesn’t want him to notice this tweet.

    And, how pathetic that she’s still trolling for a sucker stylist, and naming tackily how much he has to spend on fucking clothes? Like, if the dude’s so rich, jesus fuck, hire a pro personal shopper or something. And even if you were that rich, would you really want a Donkey braying that you plan to spend $20,000 on clothes, to everyone? That’s probably why she intentionally misspelled his Twitter handle. Sheer crassness, the both of them.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I think she deliberately misspells people’s names too so she can look connected without them seeing it. Who spells GretchEn, GretchIn?

    • Mazen Tufts says:

      Why does he need a stylist to buy himself 2 or 3 bespoke suits, a few pairs of shoes, and some casual clothing?

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      she knows nothing about the rag trade which she claims to have covered for alllllll those years….. B.S. donkster. I bet Cathy Horyn could do this with
      her eyes closed.
      Any NYer who has been on Madison Ave could do this.

      I hope a really bad sytlist like MMBH Rambo puts him in something outrageously tacky & expensive.

    • darling dearest says:

      Doesn’t her phone automatically fill in the rest of this twitter handle once she starts typing @Tim…..?

    • stalker says:

      Timeo is one letter off from Vimeo, I just bray…

  42. ShesJustStupid says:

    One of Donk’s fans tweeted that found this site by mistake and aren’t we awful. Of course she responded with xoxo hugs.

  43. moonshinedonkey says:

    If Donkey brays true, Toilet Julia moved in with that leprechaun looking dude and his tweet this week does not bode well for their elfin future.

  44. Jelly Roll says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Final chance to become @TimeothySykes’ new wardrobe stylist. He just lost 35lbs & has 20k to spend! Email him: Tim@TimothySykes.com

    Anybody else think she’ll ultimately try to OBO Goat Soap for TimEothy the Grifter King?

    • darling dearest says:

      hell, maybe she’s trying right now

    • Greg says:

      wow, that is so tacky, even for her.

      • Random Snowflake says:

        She should have faked the typo with i instead of e, the E is nowhere near the last letter typed (m) or the next letter (o). Even her fat fingers aren’t fat enough to typo that.. She’s an idiot.

    • Jelly Roll says:

      Wonder if there’s ANY chance TimEothy (which I just had to go back and retype because auto-correct fixed it for me!) could spring for a new shirt for Goat Soap before he takes his girl friend? (Not that it won’t be the best thing that ever happened to the Soapster)

      There’s a picture up of Debbie Stets cooking dinner with Amber Bray, wearing… that same. damn. softball shirt. Does he seriously not own another shirt?!?

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      If you can force yourself to think like an irrational, vengeance-seeking donkey for a minute, this tweet is loaded:

      Let’s recall first that Sykes called her OMG fat however many days ago, which definitely set her off – so much so that she had to tweet the exchange, most likely to garner sympathy and less so another attempt at lolz I feel wittay, oh so wittay.

      – First tweet for a stylist is generic and typical, second must humblebrag that “money is not an object”, and mysteriously the third tweet names the “client” and price. Tacky as it is, money apparently IS an object and it’s interesting that she she switched from being the intermediary for this to telling whomever was interested to contact him directly.

      – Weight-loss system/product commercials be damned, not everyone is comfortable or particularly wishes to announce that they’ve lost weight. I haven’t read Sykes’ feed, so I wouldn’t know if he had done so himself at all, but this read to me like a donkey trying to get back at him for telling her to lose a few. The fact that he lost weight is irrelevant to his looking for a competent stylist and apparently having money to burn in pursuit of one. I’m sure he himself could have covered the “lost weight, nothing fits properly” thing with the stylist in a personal setting. The way a donk did it reads as if she wanted to clarify that he wasn’t just looking for a stylist to spruce up his wardrobe at any cost; no, actually he USED TO BE FAT so, you know, he desperately needs one!

      – We can assume she intentionally misspelled his twitter handle so it wouldn’t pop up on his feed. Something tells me that he hasn’t exactly handed this task off to her. Why would he have had to, as she inevitably revealed who it was for with direct contact info? Wouldn’t it have been just as easy for him to tweet it himself and depend on the those among his own followers that may have money, influential friends, or suggestions for this kind of thing? Bizarre.

      – Assumption/theory… donkey didn’t want her crass tweet to catch his eye (he probably doesn’t read her feed anyway), but sure as hell wanted credit if her crowdsourcing ending up successfully getting him a stylist. Maybe she’s counting on the stylist mentioning that they found out about it on her twitter, or she’ll point out to Sykes that SHE tweeted the offer and his email address, therefore SHE was probably instrumental in finding him a stylist. Boom, maybe Sykes feels bad about calling her fat now! Also, she’d probably demand a cut of his expense for her “consulting”.

      Or not. But it doesn’t seem too far-fetched to me.

      • Grammarian says:

        Perfect backwards logic
        Also, I lost 30 lbs., now I am hot. You are too fat to be in a video but you can lose 30 lbs, too, like I did.

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        It’s a credible theory, IMHO — I think psycho Julia Allison wants Syke-0 @TimEothySykes to suffer the embarrassment & humiliation of being bombarded w/ offers to fix his flubby appearance — that’s how RaftAss D0nkey rolls.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          I agree, but I also feel if he showed any romantic interest in her she’d jump at the chance to be Mrs. Sykes.

          • Grammarian says:

            hence the hostility for the absence of that

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I’m sure someone will marry him for the alimony someday. What a douchebucket.

          • Grammarian says:

            offer declined by someone beneath one’s standards

          • Albie Quirky says:

            There is probably a word for that in German…fig? Paging fig!

          • fig says:

            I don’t know any term for that.

            I am still looking for a German term for “rebound”. I don’t even think we have that concept here.

          • fig says:

            PS: But I would like everyone to learn the word Bösewicht (=bad guy) because I love it and it’s becoming archaic and so gives additional insult to the person you are using it to describe just by being kind of funny and old fashioned.

      • Sake Bombardier says:

        It could be as simple as wanting to rub MMBH’s face in an opportunity she might relish if only she would a donkey once again. I mean, our donkey settling a score is always a safe bet.

        Also, Vimeothy? It’s called Brooks Brothers. Good enough for Anna Wintour is surely good enough for you.

        Also also, yes to the OMGLOSTLBS rage. You know, it’s not always a good thing therefore it’s better to just leave it alone. People lose weight when they’re sick, too so just SHUT IT DONKEY.

  45. rld says:

    Hi fellow fat cat ladies and haters
    I know I don’t pop in often, but love your work. And when I realised I had a problem I couldn’t resolve because everyone in my life is too close to the situation, I thought of you guys.
    This is absolutely off topic, nothing to do with Jules, and a really weird request. But I have just accidentally found out about some really disturbing information about a person I know that could either be really innocent or really bad. I don’t know. I have absolutely no one to talk to about how I should handle it. There is no one in my life who wouldn’t know who I’m talking about. I know you all say get a therapist, but this isn’t a therapist situation. It’s a “how the f do I handle this information and should I do anything about it, when it might not be anything at all?”
    I’m sorry to sound so cryptic, and I’m sorry to sound all drama queen. But I love you guys and thought some of you might be good with advice?
    Are any of you guys therapists or counsellors that could help me with this? If you can I will post my email address. (I am self employed so the McCain lawyers can me call directly)
    Anyway I am sorry if this brought any of you down. I will never the donkey! (I started that – my only claim to fame)

    • stalker says:

      Talk to the person. First you have to know if it’s innocent or bad.

      • rld says:

        thanks Stalker. I know that’s what I should do, but I’m just not sure how to handle it. If I’m wrong, I’m really wrong. But if I’m right, well then it’s a whole bag of awful. Anyway thanks for replying. I didn’t mean to bring anyone down here tonight. Just love the community and needed an objective opinion. Thank you!

        • Stinky Velour Couture says:

          maybe keep it under your hat,
          is it something that can be left to simmer?
          wait and see (that’s not too denial’ish? just caution)

          Like when I discovered my friend was schtupping another married friend—not my bizness

        • darling dearest says:

          Is it an issue that warrants action? Is it something, that if you ignored and it ended up being awful and true, the overall situation will be worse?

          do other people have the potential to be negatively affected?

          • rld says:

            Oh thank you for your reply. So many people replied, which was nice. But your response was the one that hit closest to home. Yes, that is why I am so freaked out. People may have been hurt. I don’t think anyone is in danger of being hurt now, but I think maybe in the past.. Thank you anyway for you understanding. It’s given me the courage to talk to a family friend yeaterday and she is helping work through it and reach out to the others who were involved. Thank you!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          “I heard something that concerned me about you, and I didn’t know whether to believe it or not. I know how rumors can get out of hand, so I wanted to ask you first of all.”

      • CDB says:

        my mom always hits the nail on the head

    • Tingolayo says:

      Could you do some non-confrontational investigation first (e.g., a search of online county court records or offender databases, if it’s that kind of thing)?

    • You can also scan says:

      Did I miss the part where you explained what the hell you are talking about? Everyone has something “disturbing” about them.

      Spit it out, friend.

    • Mazen Williams says:

      You saw Loren F and Matt Beauchamp blowing each other in an alley?

      Sounds innocent enough to me.

  46. How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

    On tv news awhile ago, a sound byte caught my ear & my head swiveled so fast …

    “… fans in the ‘stans …”

    WHAT? The actual fuck? Oh. She said “stands” while talking about the price of Texas / OU game tickets this weekend.

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      I think RBD-isms are everywhere. When Joe Biden last night said “That’s a bunch of stuff” it reminded me of “That is very stuff.”

  47. Nickelodeon Chic says:

    Um…isn’t this Julia’s “she-tipped-us-off-to-it” former paramour DeStorm?
    In a Hot Pockets ad?
    With Snoop Dogg?


    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      Haw! I’ve said it here before: I like DeStorm. Not the crotch-grabbing shit, that gets on my damn nerves, but I mostly do like what I’ve seen & I really, really like that he never’d the d0nkey.

  48. bitchface says:

    late last night infomercial for Cindy Crawford was on and I saw through half closed eyes Katrina SwisherZ whatever as “style” something interviewing her…..

    • Mazen Williams says:

      Is Katrina Zilch still alive? (I honestly don’t know; I have never heard of her outside of the disastrous NonSociety period)

      • Jordache & the Pelts says:

        I see her on TV from time to time doing her fashion trend thing, most recently on Wendy Williams.

        • bitchface says:

          that skin care line she touts – if I leave the TV on it’s always on in the early morning hours. This one had a spot where K-Swizsh was interviewing her – didn’t last long (the whole damned thing was like 30 minutes!) but Ughhhhhhhhhhhh

  49. Who do you think you are? says:

    I just want to comment on this photo. As an actual balletomane, I’m not angry as much as I am cringing over the fact that she’d ever dream of stuffing soft muscles, bowed legs, cankles, and sickled bad feet into pointe shoes.

    But if there’s one thing we can always, always count on, it’s Clueless Donkey embarrassing herself in front of as many people as possible.

    • Grammarian says:

      Just dropped my daughter off at class. She is bigger and stronger than the delicate ballerinas, but her legs are taut and her form is excellent.

  50. Factory Seconds says:

    Yoo hoo!!!


    • Factory Seconds says:

      Oops. Let me fix that.


      • ShesJustStupid says:

        That’s right. Debbie has important work ABROAD.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I’m beginning to suspect that Debbie gets weekends off (not counting “business trips” to NYFW).

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          Houseboy holiday in Valparaiso.

          Wasn’t Julia going to Peru this month? Or is looking at her shrinking bank balance all the spiritual experience she needs.

        • Prof. F Camping says:

          Julia has fans in the ‘stans, and Devin has clicks/cliques in the banana repubLICS.
          (yeah, i don’t even know)

      • Stinky Velour Couture says:

        I know Julie is a writer/journalist/columnist 100+!! but
        it looks like Amber Bray’s BF is in Chile, no? Doesn’t make the sense.

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          Maybe that’s what she means? It’s not capitalized, so maybe it’s not Goat Soap The Only Boyfriend in the World!

Comments are closed.