Oh For Fuck’s Sake, Look Who’s Talking

Honest to fucking God, this blinking, nodding, unlistening, bad interviewing toolbag has GOT to be kidding me.

Does @AndersonCooper practice his serious CNN news frown in the mirror at night, yelling at himself, “MORE GRAVITAS! MORE GRAVITAS, I SAID!”

Sit DOWN, Donkey, and feast your eyes on this command performance:

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar7t297qbyQ’]

p.s. Nice. Outfit.

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287 Responses to Oh For Fuck’s Sake, Look Who’s Talking

  1. DollFuckDate says:

    First to say how awesome things have been lately

  2. DollFuckDate says:

    the purple slipcover blazer omg and the elephant legs omg and the white single female sidebraid

  3. SirClompsAlot says:

    I don’t know … she’s sort of a genius next to the 7th grader there from California Closets.

    That purple jacket is an ’80s Barbie wardrobe item, if ever I’ve seen one.

  4. SirClompsAlot says:

    “Gravitas” – fuck you. PS Anderson Cooper is awesome.

  5. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    What smooth professionalism. They couldn’t go 10 seconds without forcing a cut.

    • hamster of hate says:

      Seriously seizure-inducing cuts! Those must be for all those times Julia interrupted with a made-up personal anecdote or a lame-ass attempt at humor. Closets are more of a show-and-tell subject. Organizing one is not exactly a riveting topic of conversation, as demonstrated here. That poor guest probably ended up with whiplash from that awkward set-up.

  6. How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

    p.s. Nice. Outfit.

    Yeah, WTF is that besides a chemise paired w/ a flammable smoking jacket?

  7. EyeRoller says:

    A true Donkey gem of a brain fart (@3:25 mark):

    “The biggest transition I’ve made from when I was a teenager to now is I don’t use drawers anymore. The only time I use drawers is for underwear, and socks…”

    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/256wfp5.jpg[/img]

    • hamster of hate says:

      Everything else ends up as 3-D wallpaper.

      • EyeRoller says:

        “The only time I use drawers are for underwear, and socks, and steak knives…”

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yes, Jesus son of Greg, she is like some kind of weird hoarder with the whole hanging clothes on the wall nuttiness.

        • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

          A friend of mine has her g.g.grandfather’s overalls (circa 1800’s) hanging on a hook in the laundry room of her old farmhouse (there’s also an old sepia photo of him & some kind of medal he was awarded hanging by it), & I gotta say, that is pretty cool, IMHO.

          But, D0nkey’s stupid ass raft ass prom dress hanging on a towel hook by her bath tub? Freaking bizarro world.

          • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

            See, now, your friend’s display is more like a museum exhibit. Much respect. I have my ggrandfather’s cornet that he played in his barber shop, a pic of him playing it in the barber shop circa 1900, and his barber tools in a little wooden box. So I can relate.

            Donkey is just trying to Barbie up the place.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      And she only uses kitchen cabinets for tampons.

    • JFA says:

      That’s because you don’t wear jeans like normal people. And you don’t own adult furniture, pottery barn kids doesn’t count obvs.

    • bitchface says:

      she probably still spells it Beyonce though

  8. How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

    ThunderThighs looks great on video! Nose Up!
    [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/15ps85s.png[/img]
    (You just know Rambo is saying: “Eat more chickn”)

    • hamster of hate says:

      Donkey needs a bit more gravitas and a lot less gravy.

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      Sorry, this is ultra-bitchy, but …

      M’kay, look at the difference in the thickness of the seat cushion under D0nkey (thinner than MMBH’s thighs!) as opposed to the thickness of the seat cushion under MareMareBeachHair (wayyyyy thick, even though nowhere near as thick as D0nkey’s thighs!) … no wonder D0nkey has her 3rd nose in the air like she’s looking up at MMBH from a teeter-totter seat in the dirt …

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      She looks like a trout poking it’s head out of the water.

    • bitchface says:

      Mary’s legs – ugh…. eat a fucking sammich girl (and don’t do 4 hours of spin class to work it off)

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        Can MMBH not see by her frame (esp: broad shoulders) that she needs a whole lot more meat on those spindly legs to balance out proportionally?

        Sort of looks like one of these …
        [img]http://www.rhettandlink.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/2981786671_426485d9a2-300×203.jpg[/img]

        • JFA says:

          Her broad shoulders/stick legs always freaked me out. I’m sure her new boob implants balance things out quite nicely…yeah.

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            Right? Her center of gravity is at least 4.5 ft away from the floor.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            case AND point

            [img]http://www.morethanmary.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Screen-Shot-2012-09-10-at-11.43.54-AM.png[/img]

          • JFA says:

            LOL EW. Jaysus. Pretty sure I pissed her off once during QOTD TMI days (NEVAR FORGET!) when I made mention of her “linebacker shoulders” in the comments. I know I am a botch. Whatevs. girlfriend needs to eat. Just always made me lol that she works out 75 hours a week, for that result. That’s not even merely skinny. I don’t know WTF that is.

          • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

            Make that 5 ft w/ those FMP’s on …

            #Time wounds all heels

          • juliapublicist says:

            THAT’S where Devin’s balls are.

  9. How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

    LOL!

    MEGANNAISE: “What’s the craziest request you ever got?”
    :: video cuts to commercial ::
    GUEST: “Right now, we’re really pushing using the velvet hangers …”

    Poor, neglected, pointy Megatard.

  10. Pescachickenarian says:

    JA’s inner cunt often comes out when she thinks she has a reason she is better than everyone (see every whisp of ethereal fame). Perhaps the meeting was with the ngmb estate lawyers and the parental talk was more ‘this is it. You get this money once and if used wisely it will last. Don’t spend it all at once.’.

  11. afghani says:

    Good contrast with the 4 morons in the video in this post: http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/22672789 The women are composed, able to string together coherent thoughts, and able to articulate their views on dating without seeming like desperado loons.

    (I know it’s a kind of random video, but every once in a while I follow up on what’s going on with people who were in Mulia’s life in the past and I found this on the blog of Fatty Kate’s ex’s ex.)

  12. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    1. That was months ago! I’ve grown so much since then! In particular, I don’t do tight side braids anymore because it’s tough on the pelts. Too bad, because it’s such a cute look. The inauthentic girlishness and grating lack of symmetry express my personality so perfectly! Also, I’ve given that jacket to my new boyfriend because he wants to wear it everyday. It’s too big for him, but whatever.

    2. It’s not like Anderson Cooper ever reports on anything so deeply important as closets. The gravitas is justified only if he stops talking about boring foreign people dying and starts talking about interior design, fashion, and weddings. Sigh. If the news was all like that, I might follow it even when I’m not forced to watch it at the airport.

    3. I don’t know if you saw my new NYFW interview linked up there, but big fatty statement jewelry is IN!!! Don’t you think it makes me look much less like a librarian in my late 40s???? That’s why I wear it everyday!

  13. SirClompsAlot says:

    @JuliaAllison
    I wish I had been born in an airport. That would be a much cooler story.

    Weirdest fantasy ever.

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      Transbraytion: If I was born in an airport, they’d give me a free flight pass and life-long VIP treatment.

  14. 24/7 donkey show says:

    Nothing says “gravitas” like a fuchsia smoking jacket and no pants.

  15. Lady Donk Donk says:

    Her train is crashing…. She’s more worthless than ever – I mean, what the fuck is next for this horror show cunt of the entitled semi-rich set? Wait… could it be suicide? Awesome. (like in that California “heathers” accent)

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      I’m not sure this is what you mean, but wishing suicide on Donkey is stepping over the line.

  16. juliaspublicist says:

    Yeah, yeah. Julia is a vagabond asshole. Can we talk about Downton Abbey now?

  17. ShesJustStupid says:

    Good god, did you see the tweet where she called her relationship with Micro Balls “film-esque?”. She’s really selling this one.

  18. Can-Swiss says:

    I guess Julia was going through a “I want to dress like pointy Megan”. Same hair, same shiny tops.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      No, this was when she was in the throes of a demented semi-lesbian crush on Jordan, someone she considered a “hipster” because she braided her hair and wore blazers. The shiny purple jacket was a special Donkeyization of the jacket thing, however.

  19. Zandra says:

    “I wish they gesticulated more” – said no one ever.

  20. Zandra says:

    “That’s so New York!” exclaimed the three girls who were not born in New York.

  21. Tingolayo says:

    I missed the whole Non Society train wreck, but… there’s no way that’s for real. That has to be a SNL skit. Were there ANY people who ever watched them and wanted to watch again? Were people talking about the great tips they heard from Julia? Chatting around the water cooler about the amazing thing they heard on Non Society? The content is inane and the production value sucks. You don’t even have to be slick, you can be amateur yet informative.

    She “founded” this? This is her claim to fame? This is entrepreneurship? (PS I STILL don’t know what her brand is, besides famewhore

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      And she thought she would sell it for “fuck-you money”.

      Yeah, I can imagine Google making her an offer any time now.

      (tumbleweed rolls by)

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Go to YouTube. Type in TMI Weekly. Watch them all. They are GOLDEN. And truly show Donk for who/what she is. The passive-aggressive loathing emanating from the other two is awesome.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Excuse you, this was a talk show on NBC!

    • JFA says:

      I don’t even think she knows what her brand is. Which obviously means she’s doing a very good job establishing it. Dating expert? Journalist? Tech Founder (LOL!)!

      Girl with a blog who also uses twitter and FB basically describes EVERY PERSON ON EARTH now. “Internet junkie” I guess, because that’s obviously very original. “ON air personality” that never appears on television anymore. Some combination thereof.

    • EyeRoller says:

      Yes, when I stumbled onto all those TMIWeeklys it was a true delight. I felt like I’d found cutting room floor clippings of a cancelled comedy sketch show.

      [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/15pfxqc.jpg[/img]

    • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

      I was shocked [into laughter] when I saw the TMI Weekly “studio” at Next New Networks a few years ago. I swear it was a storage closet right inside the door! It’s amazing they all could fit in there.

  22. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    OT: Anybody seen PencilDonk’s facebook pic?

    That does NOT look gay at all. Oh, no, it doesn’t.

    https://www.facebook.com/stetler

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      I find Devin Stetler’s cover photo to be more disturbing than Devin Stetler’s profile picture.

      • Gimme Pig of Love says:

        word.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        Devin Stetler sent in that cover photo as part of Devin Stetler’s audition portfolio for Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

        P.S. Devin Stetler

      • JFA says:

        I said this before about him, when she tweeted his picture before they were official, and he was merely a nameless guy with a hairless chest sitting on a leather couch in what looked like his parents basement apartment. But his picture really does look like it belongs in the Onion. I’m convinced he’s a paid actor at this point.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      I love that his only subscription is to Lewis Howes. Devin Stetler probably jerks off to Lewis Howes during one of his webinars.

      PS, how much gay porn do we think Devin Stetler got to watch while Donkey was busy consuming 7/10 of a huge can of chocolate syrup from her parent’s second fridge?

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      What I find odd is that he seems to have had no discernable life before landing in LA recently and doing his Meetup schtick. Does he have friends? His entire existence is now dictated and defined by the Donk.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        He has some bro friends from his fraternity with whom he exchanged public bro jokes during the thing where people grow mustaches for charity.

        I think nobody likes him because he’s a dead tennis ball.

    • EyeRoller says:

      PS– Devin Stetler.

    • bitchface says:

      if he were (openly) gay I might find him attractive

      • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

        If he were openly gay, I’d respect him.

        Not to shame closeted gays,I hope I don’t come across like that, but his part in the d0nkey & pony show is a farce w/in a farce.

  23. JFA says:

    This was just a poor excuse to use “gravitas” and try to sound smart as usual. Actually not a word I would associate with AC but then again, why am I expecting her to use words correctly?

    • DollFuckDate says:

      anderson cooper is a magical unicorn rainbow creature of beauty and uh, i have to stop now

      • JFA says:

        I used to be on fence but I remember him basically losing his shit on people during Hurricane Katrina, blasting public officials etc because he had obviously been done there and seen what was going on and how poor the gov’t response was, and he just had it.

        Which goes to my next point: grav·i·tas   /ˈgrævɪˌtɑs, ‐ˌtæs/ Show Spelled[grav-i-tahs, ‐tas] Show IPA
        noun
        seriousness or sobriety, as of conduct or speech.

        Um, isn’t part of his appeal that he seems sorta like a normal guy on air? NOt a stuffy newsperson? So, her comment, as usual makes no fucking sense. Her lame attempts at humor are legion.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        I feel like everyone regards him as a national treasure, even the youngs. She’s out of tune with what’s cool, as usual.

      • (yes, she was one) says:

        He’s pretty unpopular with people in the humanitarian aid community who have been working in Haiti since the earthquake. His follow-ups have been atrocious, painting a deeply negative picture and ignoring all the progress there. He and his producers were personally shown the incredibly positive outcomes and they chose to ignore them and present a disturbingly false take on reality. I was a fan until he pulled this shit. Now I question the veracity of all of his output.

  24. 11th Wang says:

    I guess if you’re a person who never listens or pays attention to anyone, you’d assume that the rest of the world is just like you and has to “practice a listening face” too.

  25. EyeRoller says:

    [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/9ulz4p.png[/img]
    [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/2wegpl0.jpg[/img]

  26. iwasinside says:

    look at how she LIGHTS UP when the guest mentions prom dresses (2:20)

  27. sausage curls/fingers says:

    That video. Prom dresses are supposed to be tucked away, not hung on the walls, Donkey.

    That’s one of the things that makes her hick status so telling. 11th grade suburban girls can afford Betsey dresses for homecoming or Lilly Pulitzer dresses for a summer vacation. She acts like she owns a Dior gown that’s fit for display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art instead of something any other upper middle income girl hangs up in the back of her closet.

  28. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    She looks like a real estate agent in that horrible purple blazer.

    I really hope Julia and his girlfriend Debbie Seltzer get married. I WANT A DONK WEDDING.

  29. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    OT but I am so happy, catpeeps, I have adopted a new kitteh from my vet, an adorable little 10 week old black male, and I am crowdsourcing a name for him. My other kittehs have been named for blues and jazz guys so I am thinking along those lines. Got any ideas?

  30. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    Non-rhetorical question: when’s the last time Donkey dumped someone? Was it during the Clinton administration?

  31. How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

    I’d like to think that this Twitter acc’t is an RBD catlady mocking La D0nk:-)

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      & on that note:

      Julia Allison: “Few things provide better real-world education in business skills than a good, hard failure.” – @MichaelEllsberg

      Oh honey …
      D0nkey, you been failing so hard & for so long …
      But, whatever. Whatever gets you through the night.

      BTW — has Dad$er’$ check cleared the bank?

      • KrakenSkulls says:

        huh. i’d think a success would be a much better life lesson. she just wants to find excuses for being a constant failure. her dad must have raked her over the coals. good for you petey.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Seriously, has anyone in the history of Twitter ever Tweeted more Tweets about being a fucking failure? How many times does she have to fail and find a way to justify it with some stupid pithy nonsensical rationalization? Loser.

          • EyeRoller says:

            If she would just stop with all the “I’m an expert at everything” and just be a normal person, I’d be much less annoyed by all her “failure/loser” talk.

        • DollFuckDate says:

          here’s your inheritance. $500k. invested conservatively it will yield 40k/year forever. that’s enough for vacations and extras, in addition to your job

          oh, you don’t plan to have a job?

          you’re fucked

          if you spend it all, we’re not giving you any more

          this would be enough to be a lovely safety cushion, nest egg, bank account, security for life if you work and spend just the interest. you’re on your own now. good luck

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            Oh, man. I could live on that, and I know people who do. Actually, I am probably living on less than that now. And I’m not even a donkey. :(

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I wonder if she’s been told there will be no second season of her shit show. Is that what the latest spate of failure tweets have been about? Wow, she was actually viewing that horror show as her meal ticket? What a tool.

        • CDB says:

          Bingo (wings) [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/mom2acat/BINGO.gif[/img]

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Thanks lover.

            Then again, when you think about it, it was her dream job. Just sit and talk about yourself and become “famous” and have people Tweet to you how pretty your hair is and how awesome you are and get paid for it. Right? It’s all she ever wanted.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          Know how the clock goes negative at NASA after a launch failure? That seems to be where she is with her 15 minutes. Anyway, she’s even falling behind in the pink attention whore competition. Today on Bleecker I saw a provocatively dressed woman talking into a pink hand set connected by a pink curly cord to a pink iPhone.

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Or, there’ll be a second season — but she won’t be on it. Either way, that’s the best guess.

        • Sake Bombardier says:

          She recently twatted that the network has five months to decide to pick it up. I’d like to think Bravo will let her stew in her scheme juices for a little longer.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Say, I wonder how the hissing, man-hungry weasels are doing now that Julia has a boyfriend.

  32. FreeLily! says:

    My black cat is named Squid. I did not name him but it works on him, He rocks.
    I had another one named L.B.K. (little black kitten). Jazz/ music names: Miles? Mingus? Albert ( Albert Ayler) Sun (ra)? George (Clinton ) ? Sly? fela kuti ?
    Max (roach)?
    Depends on the kittens personality imhop.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Thanks! Miles was one of the first and best names and it’s still in the lead.

      • Gravy Ass says:

        Django? Waylon?

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Oooh, Django is great. Or Oscar (Aleman).

          I brought him home today, what a sweet cat! A little cuddlebug. The other two cats are NOT amused.

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          Django it is! Thank you! It suits him perfectly (except he is not missing any toes).

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Naturally, you now need a Stéphane and a few moar cats so you can have an entire Hot Club.

          • Gravy Ass says:

            Yay! A few months ago I had already named this adorable shelter pup “Django” in my head before realizing I had my hands full with one dog (also named for a guitarist). My cats growing up were named Willie & Waylon.

    • How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

      So. Weird.

      When I was just a Cute & Tiny™ kid, I named a cat “Squid” too. Mine wasn’t black though, just a whodunit mix of neighboring cats (Mama Cat was a slut nicknamed “Hester”, a joke I eventually caught onto), but I think we’d just studied squids at school & was being all d0nkey trotting out deh big words, doncha know; & downthread someone mentions “Spot” which I also used once.

    • Grammarian says:

      i had a tuxedo cat, whose name was mittens

  33. FreeLily! says:

    My black cat is named Squid. I did not name him but it works on him, He rocks.
    I had another one named L.B.K. (little black kitten). Jazz/ music names: Miles? Mingus? Albert ( Albert Ayler) Sun (ra)? George (Clinton ) ? Sly? fela kuti ?
    Max (roach)?
    Depends on the kittens personality imhop.

  34. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    Out of nowhere and after 3 weeks of Donkey’s Twitter gaining no more than a few people a day, she jumped 2,500 followers today. Guess someone wants some free Yandy costumes for Halloween!

  35. i.just.cant! says:

    allergic to kittehs. but if i weren’t and had a cat i want to name it lex luthor. someone go and do that for me, k thanks.

    haven’t been around these parts lately. hi basement dwellers!

  36. DollFuckDate says:

    i just had pizza for breakfast. it was delicious. that is all.

  37. Flyingdonkeycopter says:

    Another Donkey sighting from twitter. Pretty Princess!
    http://pinterest.com/pin/40110252902605612/

  38. Sake Bombardier says:

    Brit Moron was on the (awful) Katie Couric show today. Apparently because she can use an iPad? Anyway, Wendy Williams was talking with Katie after the segment, and Brit was laughing with them like they were all walking off together. But then Katie and Wendy stopped and sort of huddled, leaving Miss Moron and her moronic smile walking off alone, laughing at nothing. So Codeword Delicious.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      Interesting how her sister Julia did not congratulate her.

    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      Wendy is a class act, I’m not kidding – I adore her. I missed that interaction, wasn’t that hair episode – the one where Brit demonstrated that dumb celebrity hair app- on earlier in the week?

  39. How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

    AND TODAY’S D0NKEY-IN-THE-NEWS IS:

    My friend had to chase d0nkeys off their property this morning …
    Mofos were up in there eating the cat food off the porch.

  40. How Brayella got Her Hoove Back says:

    Has this been discussed & I flat out missed it?

    LetsLunch
    Join The Movers and Shakers of Silicon Valley
    Would you like to have lunch with one of those Silicon Valley celebrities? Join LetsLunch.com and network over lunch with fellow entrepreneurs and high-tech professionals. You must have had at least four lunches to be eligible. Winners are selected based on the feedback from their peers as well as their social reputation, so start networking today over lunch and share your positive energy with others!

    Julia Allison isn’t an entrepreneur (nor has she posted to nut-society in more than three+ months); Julia Allison isn’t a high-tech (or any other kind of) professional …

    Who are the people who fall for this bullshit?

    • KS says:

      Looks new to me. She’s never even LIVED in Silicon Valley! hahahaha I feel sorry for the poor schmuck who signs up for that shit and has to foot the bill for her. You know she wouldn’t pay.

      Some of the other people on there aren’t bad tho.

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