Kate “Julia Allison” Middleton

How does Kate Middleton get her panty hose NOT to show in photos?!?! Ugh. — with Devin Stetler.

Some questions:

1. For whom is she covering Fashion Week? Her Twitter followers? How did she get accredited to cover Fashion Week if she’s not “covering” it, as laughable as that’s been for the past two years. “I’m covering it for my Vimeo account!!!! Don’t take it so seriously!!!”

2. So PencilDonk doesn’t work? He takes off for two weeks to Burning Man and is now tagging along like a loser with another loser to Fashion Week in NYC? When does he actually do work, and get paid for it? She’s really met her match with this dude, huh? Two unemployed 30-something layabouts with no prospects and apparently no need to do any work. Both sets of parents must be so thrilled.

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421 Responses to Kate “Julia Allison” Middleton

  1. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    Look at those shiny cankles!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I mean surely to Greg she can find a sheer pair of hosiery if she wants to wear hosiery? Or nude fishnets? It’s like she’s wearing heavy, shiny, beige tights.

      Also — have never thought this chick was chunky, but she looks like she’s packing on the pounds a bit, or is that just because she’s always posed next to this manorexic? Honey — you should have gone for Tim “Pillsbury Doughboy” Sykes. You’d look like a waif by comparison. Oh … wait ……. he wasn’t interested!

      • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

        That lift up one heel and pidgeon toe the other foot pose does not flatter her figure. But the twist, lean forward, and hunch shoulder/suck in abdomen pose is hard to pull off in a here’s me with my omg bf shot. Poor bunny. Also, ultra sheer nude Dims never shine like that. What the hell is she wearing?

        • maid of dishonor says:

          What are these Dims you speak of? I wear nude hose on occasion (I know, I know…I live in North Dakota and sometimes I want to wear light-colored skirts in the winter, okay?) and my favorites for several years have been some Hanes from Target. But if there’s something better I’m all over it.

          • Greg says:

            I’ve only seen Dims in Europe.

            I really like Donna Karan’s hose – they aren’t cheap though.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            They really are good. You can get them online here if nobody near you carries them (they don’t stock to department stores, but lingerie shops might have them).

            The 15 denier are great for occasions where you have to wear hose but don’t want shiny sausage legs.

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Maybe Capezio shiny tights? We know she loves to play dress up as a ballerina with the tutus and shoes, so why not the tights, too? http://www.capezio.com/products/23901-capezio-adult-ultra-shimmery-tight

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        I think its her crazy contortions? She looks like she has gained 30lbs since burning man.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

          Did she eat all the 7/10 jars of chocolate syrup in ALL the second fridges in the world?????

          Girlfriend looks like she chunked up. She needs to really stop the binge/starve cycle like whoa.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Actually, I think she’s been looking chunked up since the confessionals for “Miss Shapen.”

          • my blocked writing says:

            Part of it is that she’s not wearing the five-inch platforms she was wearing at Burning Man. Add five inches to anyone’s normal frame and they’ll look slimmer.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I’m firmly in the No Pantyhose Ever camp, but I’ve seen plenty of old ladies wearing somewhat saggy, super matte panty hose in my lifetime so I know they exist. I think she bought the shimmery suntan dance recital tights.

  2. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Why do you think he needs a job? He is buddies with financial guru Timothy Sykes. I am sure financial genius Timothy Sykes is managing his portfolio and generating huge returns.

    Donkey has failed at life. And she’s found a partner who is as big a failure as is she. Match made in heaven.

    Congratulations Petey and Mrs. Baugher. Great parenting. Here is your reward. Meet your new son-in-law.

  3. LEFOOLIEH says:

    WWKMD?

    * Not wear shimmery dance team/cheerleading squad tights one thinks have a slimming effect

    * Not be photographed up close by “crappy” (grifted) Canon cameras

    * Not this:

    Andrew Roin’s Food Truck Wedding in SF! With the groom himself! (He used to be my debate partner … and we went to senior prom together! Platonically, I might add. LOL)

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Semi-related, simply because I get to go into desk errands late-ish today, and in no particular order:

      ***

      “With Andrew Roin, my high school debate partner and a first year student at MIT Sloan. We were the worst debaters, pretty much ever. And we fought like brother & sister. In fact, I once threw an accordion of evidence at his head.

      We also went to senior prom together! (after Dan dumped me, leaving me dateless two weeks before the dance. Bad Dan!) And I once made the mistake of visiting him in London for a week when he studied abroad there. Disaster. Never again. ;)”
      NOTE: Clearly the ego/psych wound here. Also, the rest of this will be funny because IIRC, there was some other post where a commenter who had been on debate with her mentioned how terrible she was at it, something about her being distracting and trying to make arguments with pictures or some mess.

      “With Andrew, my debate partner from high school”

      “with my high school debate partner Andrew”

      “my high school debate partner @andrewroin’s wedding!!!”

      “attend my high school debate partner Andrew Roin’s wedding”

      @JoshuaForman, @EllyBenson, hs debate partner Andrew Roin”

      “Brunch at Tangerine with my high school debate partner Andrew Roin, his girlfriend, and my good high school friend Elly Benson …”

      “She also dated my old debate partner/prom date, Andrew, for four years!”

      “In case you weren’t already convinced of my inveterate geekiness, senior prom, I went — platonically — with my debate partner, Andrew.”

      “With my high school debate partner Andrew & my high school friend Josh”

      “Tonight I have dinner with another high school friend, Josh Forman”

      Question: How does Josh turn from friend to ex in about a year? Is it because he became a founder? I think she referred to him as an ex for the first time post-pancakes. It was the beginning of “the belt” when I must have imagined she was holding an alcoholic beverage – as she never drinks – and she was looking tipsy and crazy-eyed.

      ALSO: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO JUDY?

      “Ladies and gentlemen, Judy Tomkins, the only person who finds it funny when I send back food, demanding to know if they put “rat poison in it.” hehe”

      “At a diner on 100th street waiting to meet my high school debate partner, Judy, for dinner. Two items of note: 1) Judy was one of my closest friends since we were 7th grade science class partners, and yet, since she moved to NY to go to Columbia Law last June, I have seen her ONE TIME. That is pathetic and I apologize to the friendship gods. 2) I think I have an unhealthy obsession with diners.”

      “Judy, my high school debate partner, who is the whitest girl I know (she went to JOHNS HOPKINS for christssake) but used to have this Tupac or Biggie quote after the signature line of all her emails about “getting SMOTE.” It made me cry with laughter every single time I read it.

      Did I mention Judy drove a Volvo when she was in high school? “

      • SirClompsAlot says:

        I bow to your investigative reporting. Wow, she is a freak.

      • Jordache & the Pelts says:

        I don’t get the Johns Hopkins “whitest” snark. It seems to me, living in Baltimore (which is hardly the “whitest” city) near both campuses that Hopkins is pretty Asian. Georgetown seems “whiter” to me.

        • iwasinside says:

          Shocker… Donk makes a glaring, offensive generalization that shows how out of touch with reality she really is. Just another Monday.

        • (yes, she was one) says:

          She just wanted to insert the prestigious school where someone went. Reflected glory is her only glory, hence her hard-on for OMG Ivy League graduates in her life.

        • Prom Party Burnout says:

          In b-more too… actually Hopkins is very multicultural. My alma mater up the street is the whitest place of higher education in Baltimore… 2nd rate Jesuit “University” (recently rebranded as university instead of a college) Loyola of Maryland.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think you’re confusing your Formans. The ex-boyfriend is Charles.

      • Bulimia bloat with a side of bray says:

        She’s always been a violent little twat, hasn’t she?

      • JFA says:

        “In case you weren’t already convinced of my inveterate geekiness…”

        Ugh, she really thinks her life is just endlessly adorable and envy-inducing and that anyone really cares. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO!??! YOU DON”T HAVE FANS.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      She got dumped shortly before senior prom right? So this dude must have been a leftover guy who got rejected by other girls which allowed her to swoop in at the last minute? Why would anyone bray about going with a guy like that EVER, let alone 13 years later?

  4. Antibiotics with a Side of Antibiotics says:

    How about this?: DON’T WEAR PANTYHOSE!

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Pantyhose that aren’t thick and shiny do exist.

    • Don Quixote says:

      Honestly! She’s not outside in f*cking Alaska.

      • Skirt Pull says:

        As a f*cking Alaskan, I take exception to this. No one would be caught dead in those.

        • CUNTBunnies! says:

          SP, you’re Alaskan too? I thought I was the only lonely hater here.

          Also, I’ve always been a pantyhose gal, on the 2 occasions a year I might actually wear a dress… I can’t stand wearing shoes barefoot, and my legs are so white I’d have to hand out sunglasses to ward off the glare.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I never really saw the point myself, unless the hose are colored and worn with a specific outfit. Even this stopped being plausible sometime in 1992.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Personally, I can’t imagine not wearing them in certain situations. Like going to services at synagogue, formal parties, job interviews, etc.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I agree about job interviews, but elsewhere I think I favor a long dress.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            That could work. But as someone on the shorter side, I feel dwarfy in most long skirts. Also, I don’t like the feel of bare feet in dress shoes. And my legs are quite pale.

    • Peltergeist says:

      So funny that the one thing she took from Kate Middleton’s “style” are these nude pantyhose. How about wearing some of the very covered-up dresses she likes? I’m surprised she didn’t go for the circled eyeliner, too.

  5. (yes, she was one) says:

    I really want these two losers to get married. I’m very excited at the prospect of an engagement in time for birthcray (love how my iPhone just auto-completed that word). Do we think Donk will try to grift a ring or what? This guy probably can’t afford the Cracker Jack.

    • Whitleymariongilbertwaynemeetsscarysadshaw says:

      It will either be cz or a hand- me- down omgitsvintage from Grandma Nuttybags.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      OMG… Twinkerbell’s like her Slade except if a Donkey was ever on a hit show or ever had any job prospects or ever had plastic surgery that wasn’t wonk.

      LOL, Slade wanted to buy Gretchen a CZ engagement ring. I died from second hand embarrassment like I do daily with a Donkey.

  6. Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

    Why is his hand facing up toward her tittehs rather than down toward her hips? So odd these two.

    • Wincing says:

      My first thought exactly.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      I think he doesn’t know what the natural position would be for a straight guy with his arm around his GF, because he is not straight.

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

      He probably had his hand in a normal position, but then someone came along with a camera and…TIT THRUST!

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      I know, he looks like he’s holding her up by the boobs.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      I thinks its to convince everyone that he isn’t gay. Nice try.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Jesus. You’re right. It looks like he’s trying to grab her boob.

      • JFA says:

        I’m telling you they are both UBER creepy. My guess is he’s not had a lot of action with the ladies, ever…and they are both enjoying their batshit insane codependency since, let’s face it, neither one has a lot of other things going on. They are probably one of those disgusting couples who can never stop pawing each other in front of whatever audience is trying not watch.

        This will implode spectacularly before they get to month 6. Trust.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          ‘This will implode spectacularly before they get to month 6. Trust.’

          NO!

          Not before Halloween, where they will dress up in matching or coordinated outfits. Or Thanksgiving, where she will drag him home and pose him next to the turkey.

          Not before Christmas! Where we will get to see him posed alongside Dad$ers in a matching xmas sweater at the Lakeside Assisted Living Facility. Or in front of the tree at church, wearing plaid pants and a red or green sweater + jacket. Or at the University Club by the dessert table, wearing a suit with a skinny plaid tie.

          These are our holiday traditions now, too, damn it. I will not have my holidays ruined by a *breakup*.

          • Lily's 3rd Eye says:

            I DEMAND A WEDDING! AT BURNING MAN!

          • Princess WideStance says:

            This is a tough one. I too want to see the matching Christmas sweaters, but then again watching the cray unfold as a single donkey endures another holiday season is always a treat. Either way it will be a hoot.

          • JFA says:

            OH yeah I forgot…she might feign interest til the holidaze. She needs a willing penis for photographs (“OMG SO MUCH FUN AT THE DOWNTOWN CHICAGO CONDO HAPPY NEW YEAR” Etc etc). That’s the only reason. This guy just makes me sad. He’s being whisked away into her lifestyle, LOL, which, how much of a loser do you have to be to follow this dipshit around?? She found a willing lapdog she will no doubt start to abuse if she hasn’t already, until she gets bored and some one better comes along, which come on, isn’t that hard, as this poor schlub is an obvious class A tool.

            No one else gets the sadsies from this?

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

            I don’t get the sadies because this is the life he wants? Come on… to have no job and to follow your girlfriend who has no job around? He must be kind of slow.

          • Fat Freddys Cat says:

            …or Thanksgiving, where she will drag him home and pose him next to the turkey catfish.

          • sausage curls/fingers says:

            I think she’ll make it all the way to birthcray 2013 if she makes it all the way to Christmas.

          • JFA says:

            It still makes me sad that people that lame exist. I can’t help it. Like losing faith in humanity sort of sad. She’s just an evil piece of shit, always will be. But…him? He chooses to hang out with her on purpose? Can he not read? Does he not have eyeballs? I just…think he’s very special, as in, really fucking dumb, and I sort of feel bad for the poor asshole. NOt bad enough that I won’t make fun of his stupid face (because he honestly has one of the dumbest expressions on his face at all times, that I have ever seen, and I think that is related to his idiocy), but still sort of…wish I could pull him aside and just, save him a lot of distress down the road.

            But yeah mostly point and laugh.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      I noticed that in the pictures of the burning man grifters wedding reception (the one where she wore the wedding tutu) he had his arm on her tit then as well.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      every picture of them together is like that,looks clinical like a mammogram

  7. JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

    I threw out my last pair of pantyhose in 1998. So sorry, so fat and so old am I.

  8. LOL says:

    this is a fashion week event? It looks like a retirement home party

  9. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Unless Pencil Donk had his right thumb & pointer finger severed & re-attached at some point, that mitt looks hella fauxto-chopped, in addition to what D0nkey did to reduce her waist / waste / weighst line …
    [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/f22f5k.png[/img]

  10. ShesJustStupid says:

    Lol the photo where he’s giving serious face. He must think she can help him become a model. These two really are made for each other.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      Right???? I die for him. Die. So embarrassed.

  11. frequent liar miles says:

    It would help if you didn’t choose post-varicous-surgery-grade hosiery, Donkey. Also, you are dreaming if you think the shiny sausage-casing look only shows up in photos.

  12. EyeRoller says:

    Upon seeing Donkey’s taste in pantyhose, HOOTERS called her immediately to set up a job interview. Take that, world!
    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/2hd4sck.jpg[/img]

    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      I dunno, I think any Hooters that hired her would see a sharp drop in business.

      Men do not go there to listen to the bray, do they?

      • EyeRoller says:

        No, but corporate thinks they could save money now by hiring bitches who come with their own pantyhose.

      • EyeRoller says:

        I’m now convinced. She’s been stealthily gunning to land a position with Hooters for years. A plate of chicken wings and a couple of chicken cutlets later, and the difference would be uncanny, Donkchathink?
        [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/2w71qx3.jpg[/img]
        [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/2mw5cv5.jpg[/img]

        A little Q&A Donkey, QUICK!

        QUESTION: If you were covering New York Fashion Week, what questions would you ask?
        ANSWER(S):
        [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/vp98io.jpg[/img]

  13. ShesJustStupid says:

    She’s crowd-sourcing FW questions again. Every year, the same lameness. How does she not get tired of being ill-prepared and laughed at?

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      I just saw that. God, she’s lazy even when doing an “assignment” for her all two Twitter fans.

    • Don Quixote says:

      I really hope someone asks what she’s covering it for. If anyone here takes one for the team, I’ll love you forever.

    • Helena (Vitruvian Donkey) says:

      Dunno if any of you haters remember the guy I mentioned the other week, the one who called me “a Vulcan” because I never get angry. Well, clearly he’s never been around me when Ol’ Donkula pulls this shit, because this gives me red hot ragies. You ask fucking strangers on fucking Twitter to think of questions that you could harass FW people with, and you see absolutely nothing embarrassing in that, and you call yourself a JOURNALITH? In the words of the Mighty Boosh, CRIMPITY CRIMPITY FUCK YOU!!1!

  14. idiotbox says:

    such a shame…if the tights weren’t reflecting, she’d look just like Kate Middleton. So…elegant. -.-

  15. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    Wait…wait…so this year she isn’t even carrying around the fake microphone attached to nothing with the NBC mic flag? She’s just…there?

    Also her boyfriend is gayer than boot leather.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      She will appear on camera…somewhere. Even if it is just a livestream. She is too much in love with herself not to.

  16. Don Quixote says:

    Love how she chooses Kate Middleton to compare herself to. A lot of women wear pantyhose, you idiot. This chick just can’t get enough of herself.

    Incidentally, what is her deal with Kate Middleton? This is the 2nd time she’s mentioned her on the ole’ facebook. Last time it was a dream about a hot tub. Leave the poor girl alone!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      She loves Kate Middleton and is always gushing about her.

    • Psychotic Today says:

      Do you not remember the cray that went down when William and Kate got married? She more unbalanced than usual. The way she obsessed about Kate always made me think that, given the chance, she would go all Buffalo Bill on poor Kate.

    • emma bourricot (slutty elephant costume) says:

      Never thought it was a coincidence that Jack finally dumped her a few days after the Kate/William wedding. That was some classic cray.

  17. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    North of the hemline they almost look normal.

    Well, her fingernails.

    Well, his boob grab.

    Well, the roof of the tent.

    I like the older woman in the back with no shoes on.

    Mad party, y’all.

  18. pearipathetic donkey says:

    Such a veteran fashion reporter:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Lots of bold, bright colors for the spring season, including Princeton orange at Carolina Herrera. #NYFW

    I’m sure that is the exact hue CH was going for (eye roll)

    • Frequency and Burning says:

      LOL yes – never mind the medieval principality whose scions have been crowned heads of Europe.

      Princeton-Orange goes well with Wilmette-Chartreuse and Marina-Del-Ray-Schiapp-Pink.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        Schiap pink, wtf is that? veteran fashion journalist Julia Allison has never heard of such a shade, it must not exist. the following descriptors should be used for colors at fashion week:
        green: “grass”
        blue: “Yale”
        red: “rose” or “Cardinal”
        yellow: “sun”, “gold”
        orange: “Princeton”
        pink: “hot”

    • Don Quixote says:

      “Oh oh oh … I love these super wide leg grass green pleated silk charmeuse pants @CarlosMiele. Very bold! #NYFW”

      Love how she described the pants as “grass” green. Veteran fashion reporter, you said it.

    • Helena (Vitruvian Donkey) says:

      Princeton orange. Mwhahaha! Now I’ve heard it all.

      Does anyone remember the gorgeous wedding of Mary II and William III of Princeton Orange? She was so tiny and cute, and her momsers looked so dear in her Georgetown blue and grey. I loved the Fat Melman’s burgundy decorations, too. Very bold!

  19. EyeRoller says:

    Julia Allison @ juliaallison:
    “If you were covering NY Fashion Week … What questions would you ask?”
    2 hours ago from Twitter – Comment – Like – Share

    Funny, I was going to ask Donk that same question.

  20. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Speaking of disasters involving tents, I attended the Harriman Cup this weekend and will never make fun of Burning Man again.

    I ran into Unabasedly Prep while there. Alas, I was not driving at the time. He is just as charming in real life as on his blog.

    • Stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

      verbatim recap immediately please. Did he cry?

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        We did not exchange comments. He was wandering around wearing a patchwork quilt hobo costume taking pictures and giving the crew blazer brigade pre-emptive gay-eye.

        A lovely time was had by all, minus the tornado warning, the on-field heart attack and the tents blowing over in 50 mph gusts of wind.

        Had a delightful conversation with a gent who came in an enormous Gatsby-Era crusier the color of the silver spoon up everyone’s ass. He was over four million years old and helped God edit the Old Testament Prep School Handbook, so he was a trove of amusing anecdotes to say the very least.

        All in all, the main difference between Burning Man and the Harriman Cup is that at BM the tickling sensation afterward in your vagina is sand and at the HC it’s some Choate grad’s index finger.

        • Stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

          I saw you, or one of your relatives this weekend. Though not Harriman Cup-level fancy, there are fancy doings afoot here right now (Keeneland sales coming up) and I saw more than one Rolls Royce tooling about. The first thing I think when I see one is the word “Revenge!” so it always makes it seem like it’s coming right for me, although I haven’t done anything, like blog, that would be cause for alarm.

        • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

          [img]https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/404082_10151043334498309_450500139_n.jpg[/img]

          • Albie Quirky says:

            The things you see when you don’t have a gun!

            As we discovered when I went all Nancy Drew on him over at GOMI, he has two siblings who are really cool and all about embracing their mum’s Taiwanese heritage, but FE seems just determined to try to fit in with fucking racist WASP fossils. I suppose it is fitting that he works for Ralph Lauren, king of appropriating the styles of people who hate him because he’s Jewish, but I don’t think FE has Lauren’s “fuck you, creepy-ass WASPs, I’m rewriting the rules and just stealing your swag” attitude; I think he really thinks WASPs are cool and hello, we’re just fucking NOT.

          • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

            How nice, the help don’t have to wear white uniforms anymore.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            If there was ever a look that screamed “we are two desperate guys who just fucked each other in the porta-potty and exited the foul-smelling plastic toilet wearing each others pants by mistake” louder, I have yet to be aware of it.

          • Jordache & the Pelts says:

            Ay seersucker and patchwork this douche tries too hard – all he needs is a critter tie.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            I think that is the name of his pal! Ty Critter (Pottyquickie the VIth) at your service! At anybody’s service, really.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Jesus, I think I saw one of those tools at the Republican convention. If not one of these dudes, several tools just like them — 35 going on 73, with ascots and talking like Uncle Arthur on Bewitched. So fucking bizarre; weirdest people I have ever seen at that thing.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Were you actually at the Convention?

          • my blocked writing says:

            Not one article of clothing in this picture fits right.

            Also, Castleberry???

          • AFGHANI says:

            The weirdest thing about Fred Egan (his real name, BTW) is the whole Baptist College/married young/2 kids —> divorces his wife, moves from Texas to NYC, becomes a twink prep in his 30s. His real life was anything but preppy, but then he attempted to reinvent himself at 30-whatever. But still doesn’t have the sack to come out of the closet.

            And RRR, your comments about H.C. were amazeballz, thank you for bringing your A Game Content today.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            His real name is Frederick Egan Castleberry. “Fred Egan” was the name he used as a wedding photographer in Fort Worth.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Oh God.

            I checked out the blog this pic was taken from.

            http://www.socialprimer.com/2012/09/the-harriman-cup-2012/

            Um…did he really not notice the fucking tornado warning? The on-field heart attack? Girls in party dresses administering CPR? Tents blowing over? And how is it that everybody remembers the green lawns and lavish parties in Gatsby and nobody remembers everybody fucking murdering each other?

            I mean, I get being blase about major shit going down is a WASP characteristic, but you’d think dodging multiple ambulances would have rated a mention.

        • Grammarian says:

          when the southern christian fundamentalist creationist evangelical republican lunatic crazy people talk about being gay is a choice, in their world they are right because it is: people can choose to be themselves or they can choose to deny it and live in the closet and marry poor dumb girls and have a kid or two and haunt the bars on the other side of town or the bathrooms at the airport when they travel.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      What is his accent like? Did he roll his own, or is he still Fred from Fort Worth?

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        He is so up to his wonk-face in this scene, I think he simply communicates in meerschaum pipe smoke signals at this point.

      • AFGHANI says:

        Yeah, he’s from Dallas area and his background is about as far from prep as could possibly be. When I first saw the U.P. blog I thought (hoped?) he was doing performance art.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Yeah, people who know fuck-all about Texas think Fort Worth is Dallas. FWIW, Fred is originally from Weatherford, which is west of the town of cow, which is west of Big D. HTH.

          • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

            Well I’ll be durned. Weatherford, huh? There’s an ole boy out there name a Metz Castleberry, I think that’s the way you spell his first name. He’s a pretty fair western sculptor, or whatever you call artists who make bronze castings of horses and cowboys and stuff. Wonder if they kin.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I think Metz is Fred’s grandfather.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I bet that they are — I gather Metz is also a banjo player, which coincidentally ties into a musician friend’s ode to his old stompin’ grounds (W’ford) & running buddies — in a roundabout way, I first heard of Fred (as he’s known to some from back in the day) in this song, which led to offhand discussion of whether or not he’s of the same family for which Castleberry HS is named (probably), but maybe we should wait for Afghani to clear it all up? :-)

            #SmallWorldStuff

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I think you’re right, Albie, & I think Fred’s father’s name is John … ?

    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      That thread about that tool on GOMI gave me a much needed case of the shits and giggles when it came out. Thank you.

  21. EyeRoller says:

    The more I look at this picture the more I think “What a lovely pair of Hos”.

  22. Peltergeist says:

    She’s covering it on the basis that she’s been covering it. This is what she does and I find it infuriating. You can present any amount of pointed, fact-based questions (“You need certification to go backstage. Who are you reporting for?”) and she will answer you with a mildly factual, unrelated response (“I’ve been covering FW for years.”). How does she keep getting away with this, when everyone should know what a total liar she is by now?

    PS – It’s hilarious that she’s so obsessed with her time on the debate team, because she would have been THE WORST at organized debate.

    • LOL says:

      ummm she covers stories without having any publication or media outlet…the same way she does photo shoots…

      Normal people are like I am doing a photo shoot for my new movie or my new album came out and I am doing a photo shoot for it…

      She doesn’t need any opportunity for a photo shoot or to cover an event, like a loon she just does it

      The same with the pantyhose…Kate Middleton wears them because she actually goes to events where bare legs are inappropriate…She wears them because she is a moron that wants to be like Kate.

      • SirClompsAlot says:

        Yes, the fauxto shoot thing is so weird. I’m really surprised she doesn’t list “model” as her job, because clearly that’s what she thinks she’s doing.

        It’s like that quote from Miss Assvice – she’s talking about how she writes about her love life for a living and she says like “it’s a tough job, but someone has to do it”. Literally no one has to do it, Julia. No one. Does not need to exist as an occupation.

        • sausage curls/fingers says:

          I assume she doesn’t want anyone to take her for a model. She wants to be considered the great beauty of intellectual techy and journalism circles. As if she’s a brain first and foremost but just happens to be such a knockout that photographers ask to shoot her.

  23. Albie Quirky says:

    Julie, honey, never the ankle straps for you. They shorten the leg.

  24. JFA says:

    Literally the only thing these two do in life is pointlessly travel around where they are not wanted/don’t belong, taking pics of themselves dressed up, being creepy together. She really did find the perfect man for her.

    • JFA says:

      She currently has not one, but BOTH profile pics on FB of her in hot pants and bra at BM. In case anyone hasn’t noticed she is skinny now, with a boyfriend, and a pointless existence.

  25. JFA says:

    ALso yeah um, you are not 65, why are you even fucking wearing stockings when it’s still warm enough to go without? I’ve had numerous jobs in actual offices and no one under the age of 45 wears pantyhose. Just buy a pair of non shimmery ones you fucking jackass. #notthathard

  26. Lady Donk Donk says:

    How the fuck do these twats make money?

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      My guess is that Pencildonk is temporarily in Pettifoger’s payroll.

      For how long, it’s anybody’s guess…..

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        Doing what? Designing Petey’s grindr profile?

      • Lady Donk Donk says:

        So like Pettifogger pays the way for this smiles-too-much douchey closet homo?

        • KS says:

          I highly doubt it. Then again, he looks like a male escort, maybe she went home and whined “DAAAAAAAD, I need a BOOOYFRIEND for appearances but no one will date me because of the show you warned me about!”

          I’m starting to like this theory.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            I can see her whining that to Dad$er, but I doubt they have the kind of money that could buy a gigolo on any kind of longterm (or even medium term) basis.

          • Factory Seconds says:

            It wasn’t any extra pay because he’s on loan from Petey.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        You know, I bet Pettifogger and Mama Bird paid for Twinkerballs’s AMAZEBALLS redesign of JuliaAllison.com as a way to “help” their daughter’s “career”.

        I may run out of scare quotes with Julie. She needs so many scare quotes all the time.

    • It floats! It floats! says:

      This is obviously pure speculation, but I’ve always thought credit cards were the most believable theory. I used to work for a financial advisor and it seems like there was no shortage of parents who claim to have “cut off” their adult children but still caved at least once a year and paid off the huge pile of credit card debt that their offspring hadaccumulated (with no intention of ever paying it back). No doubt dadsers places a lot of value on a good credit history and he wants to avoid the shame of the debt collectors coming after his little donkey.

      • Grammarian says:

        I have a friend who is/was one of those. 10k every year at christmas.

        • It floats! It floats! says:

          It was always weird to actually meet the “kid”. To listen to the parents talk, I’d always imagine their kid a fun-loving twenty-something who was working on some sort of exciting career. Then I’d meet the “kid” at a client event and they’d be about twenty years older than I’d imagined, always angry at someone or something and clearly not ever going to be able to hold down a job of any sort.

          • Grammarian says:

            yes, exactly

          • GrammaRian says:

            people with the means to do so bail out credit card debt for irresponsible offspring every year on dec 31 to the tune of about 10k to avoid the gift tax

            it’s just a small gift, of course; 10k isn’t much at all

            /snark

      • Also, if you make the minimum payments on your credit cards, they tend to up the limits regularly. I wouldn’t be surprised if Juliar is running around with upwards of $250k of available credit on her cards… a friend of mine spent 10+ years after college in his parents’ basement, drawing on the walls and being an “artist” who did a lot of drugs. He made the minimum payments on his credit cards (that he got during college) and by the time he was 30 had more than $100k in available credit. And he had *no* verifiable income.

        Juliar at least “had” a job… which means she had something — however false — to put down in terms of income on various applications. Make the minimum payments on those cards, and she has “money” to use.

  27. superdorkilicious says:

    I just said out loud, “wow, he’s really skinny.” I wish he wore a wider tie. Are skinny ties it now? I don’t know any of these things. I don’t think she looks bad, hose aside, considering what she’s capable of.

  28. EyeRoller says:

    Royal Pig of Love
    by Donkey

    Good afternoon sweets and sours, it’s your one and only Donkey, typing madly from the überglam rafters at Fashion Week, and taking a moment out to protect my good name. For the record, YES, sue me, I’m a huge fan of Kate Middleton. I hear (if I lie in a sensory depravation chamber long enough) that she’s a huge fan of mine as well, but I’ve yet to meet her in person– @PrincessKatie tweet me!!! She’s so pretty and tiny she makes me forget the #1 rule of dressing for my body type. After studying online photos of her, every day, for years on end, how can I help but nosejob-dive into a pile of ill-fitting clothes in an attempt to BE HER?!? Here’s a few additional reasons why I want to be Kate Middleton so all you RBD haters will leave me alone:
    1) She landed the biggest wallet/tiara-provider known to man
    2) She can now afford to have her jam and pistachio butters served, by a hot butler, from separate china bowls, whereas I still have to send PencilDick with a fistful of quarters in pink hotshorts down to the Ralph’s on the corner to buy the Panner brand “Peanut Butter and Jelly Swirl” in one plastic jar.
    3) She wears 1982 Olivia Newton John “Let’s Get Physical” nude aerobic tights under tight designer frocks and pulls it off.

    So when you think about it, we really are like soul sisters. As you can see below, I even modeled my 2012 Burning Man wardrobe after some of her greatest fashion moments:
    [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/2vwzpcj.jpg[/img]
    [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/9qdbag.jpg[/img]

    Ok, maybe I’m not royalty (YET. LOL!), but why can’t everyone see if Kate would just give me a chance, we’d could be the best of besties, or even facebook frenemies I’ll take anything really. I even found two photos that reminded me how we are both so photogenic, alike in style, and how we I’M POSITIVE we’d feel about each other if she would just give me a chance!!!
    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/15nrv3l.jpg[/img]
    [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/3091slx.jpg[/img]

    Also, Kate– If you’re reading this, and you and William would like to rent a fabulous apartment in Marina Del Rey for the weekend, I know of a place that’s totally available. Also, my assistant/boyfriend would like me to ask you to invite Harry as well. #10%DiscountToBritishRoyalty!

    xoxoDonkey

    • EyeRoller says:

      Sorry sillies I’m dizzy and the air’s thin up here– I’ve been hired on by a new designer for $20/hour to serve as a human ceiling fan to cool off the spectators, so I’m currently suspended by a harness from the top of a rental tent, spinning, sorry my spelling was a little off on the entry above:

      *deprivation tank*

      xoxoDonkey

    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      *ded*

      I love you, you ineffable being of magic and light.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      The ressemblance is uncanny.

      Ha ha! Excellent work!

  29. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    Maybe one of the weirdest twists over the last two years is how she went from wallet-chasing to becoming a wallet for another deluded narcissist. It’s a temporary condition that only lasts until Granny’s money runs out, of course, but how funny is that day of reckoning going to be? She can’t even golddig correctly after 12 years of practice!

    Julia Allison: whore, cunt, FAILURE!

    • Pearipathetic donkey says:

      So much for her big plan to be an angel investor.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        that’s it!
        maybe the investment is in Twinkerballs and his laughable career as an entrepreneur/code monkey with dynamiqs. i’m sure she’ll find some way to deduct him in her taxes.

      • KS says:

        Fucking lazy ass… Now that I think about it, the whole angel investor thing was her idea to make money with the least effort possible. “I give you money and a little later, you give me more than I gave you? Can I put ALL my eggs in that basket? yay.com”

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          I still think she is angling to get him on Randi’s show, then she can appear as the gf. You know she has delusions of a spin-off.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        She had to invest in getting a boyfriend to stay with her instead

  30. Pearipathetic donkey says:

    She’s braying about it being her boyfriend’s OMGFirst fashion show. Who cares! She takes all of her bfs and fuckbuddies to fashion week. Greasy, Lewis, etc.

    • JFA says:

      Can I just take this opportunity, again, to point out that NO ONE CARES? I don’t know what is more embarrassing. Braying about taking her frog faced gay father to FW, or her gummy toothed gay boyfriend, neither of whom ANYONE CARES ABOUT. She is tweeting to an audience of zero, and it’s painful.

      The world has zero fucks to give. I find it hilarious, however, that she got fired from a job she never really seemed to have for a channel that no one watched anyway (NBC New York nonstop). Good work!

      • JFA says:

        YOO HOO! I am a nobody! HI! I’m at FW again! This time with DEVIN STETLER MY BOYFRIEND! He’s never been here, can you believe it! Backstage at Nanette Lepore!!!!!!

        zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • KS says:

      More importantly, what straight man wants to go to FW?

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Greasy. Who obviously wanted to ogle and perhaps pick up models or fashionistas. Which, fail. (His gf is surprisingly cute, though, far cuter than he deserves.)

  31. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    PencilDonk: He’s no Jon Hamm. Imagine this package in those little short shorts? Even more so than I was last week, I am convinced PencilDonk is missing his meat and two veg.

    http://gawker.com/5941893/jon-hamms-penis-takes-its-owner-out-for-a-walk

  32. Gimme Pig of Love says:

    Timothy Sykes ‏@timothysykes
    Check out where I’m hosting my $50,000 party: http://tim.ly/P8b88k guestlist is conference attendees/speakers only + 150 Vegas girlssssss

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @timothysykes – and me!!!

    …I’ll just let this one speak for itself

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      She dropped & caught her phone mid-air, then resumed her conversation, all before ever uprighting the sprog? Mother of the Year, that one.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I cut Peaches all the slack because I am also the daughter of an immensely narcissistic father and a dead mum.

      Also, Peaches is a million times better looking than Jordumb.

    • juliajane says:

      I actually don’t really get what all the fuss is about, but I don’t know much about babies. There was a huge pot hole in the pavement, the pram toppled over and she quickly grabbed her baby while talking on the phone. The whole things probably lasted about five seconds.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Agreed. Sheesh, the judgment.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        mostly this bumbling just reminded me of jordan (plus the look: cutoff shorts, blond bun, tattooed, skinny, newish baby). did anyone read about how jordarded locked herself onto the tiny balcony at her new house while she was alone at home with the baby?

        • GrammaRian says:

          still with the tee hee meeeeeeeeeeeeee?

          i had to laugh the other day at the blog post that complained about what a time waster it is to commute every day into the city. poor thing. that’s what her husband does, but it’s just so not for her.

  33. braydaycray says:

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/sTeUW.jpg[/img]

    …gluten free hamburger buns?

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      is she fucking with us? Fins ON THE HOOF??!!
      is this the food truck at the OMG high school debate partner’s wedding? she looks so matronly.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Maybe Devin has a feeding fetish? You know, one of those super skinny guys who likes a *big* girl, and gets off on feeding them or watching them eat.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think he’d probably have found someone who was actually fat, then, not someone average sized. Fat admirers generally aren’t interested in women who are below a US size 20.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      It is not, according to the menu on their website.

      I HATE HER SO MUCH FOR THIS. There is this one burger place in Cambridge that has gluten-free buns and so it is the only place I can get a burger with a bun and this makes me sad because the burgers there are just not as good as all the other places that only have wheat buns.

      I really, really hate that she pretends to have celiac while she doesn’t. It is so fucking rude and disrespectful to those of us who can’t have the delicious delicious wheat ever again in our lives.

      Yes, I am touchy about this because my huscat had garlic bread last night. Oh, my huscat makes the best garlic bread ever and yet it will never pass my lips again, grrr grrr.

      Fuck you, Julie Albertson. I hope you choke on your wheat-filled hamburger buns. You lied on Twitter about having celiac just the other fucking day, too.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Yesterday! When someone called her on the Botox and the cupcakes when she looked down her nose at people who drink diet soda. Ass. Hole.

      • Don Quixote says:

        You don’t happen to mean Cambridge MA, do you? Four Burgers? If so, I live like 2 blocks from there and I go every hang-over sunday. If not, never mind.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Wait, Four Burgers has gluten-free buns? So happy if true!

          I meant b.good, whose burgers are just okay. I didn’t know you were a Cantabrigian as well, yay!

          • Don Quixote says:

            Yeah man! Four Burgers totally has gluten free buns. I’ve never had one because I don’t have celiac disease, nor do I pretend to =P, but I do think their burgs are really good! Definitely better than b.good’s!

    • JFA says:

      Does EVERY. FUCKING. FART. Have to be photographically documented. My god. This is such a retarded photograph.

      • KS says:

        Seriously. I’ve never in my life seen someone pose in front of a goddamn food truck.

        • JFA says:

          Why? Would that be of interest? To anyone? “Here’s me and my flaming manfriend, eating fish burgers! LOL!” Just. Stop.

          Seriously. Every fucking fart documented. Most people don’t even have that much interest in THEIR OWN LIVES. She’s so pathologically obsessed with photographs. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s batshit.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          are you sure???

          [img]http://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/eww.jpg[/img]

        • sausage curls/fingers says:

          The only way I can fathom it would be some suburban hick who has never been in a city before posing with it because it’s such a novelty. I guess she fits that bill.

          • mule on rouge says:

            Apparently, you have not had to disguise twin ham hocks masquerading as your upper arms on a moment’s notice. See how strained her neck muscles are? She’s using perspective, props, and body contortions to pose away AT LEAST 30 pounds of unsightly flab. All that effort for a meaningless photo of a completely forgettable event! And yet some people call her “lazy”. I think we all can agree that’s not the case. “Retarded”, “dipshit” and “asshole” still fly, of course.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      WAIT WHOA HOLD ON.

      I fucking do not understand this. Was she seriously wearing a belted fuschia coat over a fuschia shift dress, shiny support stockings, and ankle-strap fuschia Minnie Mouse shoes?

      WHO DOES THAT? Who fucking does that? Who? Who?

      This is like some kind of costume from a Doris Day movie.

      • Gimme Pig of Love says:

        I just realized you are right and that is a coat.

        This creature should not be allowed to dress herself.

    • braydaycray says:

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/K7Q5p.png[/img]

      It just makes this exchange that much bitchier.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        As if people with celiac never eat cupcakes. Betty fucking Crocker makes gluten free cupcake mix. But knowing that would require to actually have celiac disease.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          make sense. remember that time she bitched about britt refusing to make gluten-free pancakes on christmas morning? he’s onto her and knows she’s lying.

          • sausage curls/fingers says:

            As if it’s not obnoxious to ask your brother to make pancakes twice, using a whole separate mixing bowl and griddle for you so you aren’t contaminated by the gluten that you’re pretend allergic too.

            I wonder if even makes her parents keep gluten free mixes, pasta, cookies, etc in their kitchen for her?

          • Pearipathetic donkey says:

            And she is always going on shot gluten fee brownies. This bitch eats gluten!

      • Peltergeist says:

        Okay Julia, wouldn’t someone who REALLY cares about their health have NEVER gotten Botox? (I thought she said she didn’t get Botox??) This is why I can’t stand her.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

        She wishes she hasn’t gotten Botox since 2012 – that waxy Joker face don’t lie!

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

          Hmmm… here she says over a year, not two years, how curious!

          Amelia ‏@xoamelia
          @JuliaAllison got a fresh round o’ Botox for #WWHL.
          Details
          Reply Retweet Favorite

          Follow

          Julia AllisonVerified
          ‏@JuliaAllison
          @xoamelia – nope, I didn’t. It’s just makeup & lighting. I haven’t gotten Botox in over a year. I probably need it!
          Reply Retweet Favorite
          9:34 PM – 23 Jul 12 · Embed this Tweet

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Thank you! RAEG RAEG

        I wanted birthday cake for my birthday yesterday but I didn’t organize myself to bake one or to order one from the gluten-free bakery so had to have brownies from Whole Foods instead. So sad, because I had wanted cake with icing for the first time in, like, three years and sometimes WF has it but not this time.

        CAKE WITH ICING. Which Julie eats (or at least licks) ALL THE FUCKING TIME and I couldn’t even have it for my 48th birthday.

        ARGH ARGH THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL

      • mule on rouge says:

        Isn’t this Julia Allison person the same bitch who laps up entire jars of fudge sauce? And tosses back chocolate bars like they’re tic tacs? The same one who had the disgusting habit of hoovering BOWLS of honey? Sit down, jackass.

        • mule on rouge says:

          Oh, great. I was replying to the comment waaaaay up there about dingdonk’s sanctimonious tweets. Now it looks like I’m dissing the birthday bunnies. While I may have a shriveled turnip where my heart should be, I celebrate the births of Albie and Dr. G, and wish them all the best!

  34. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    Hi Julia, I am genuinely curious when the last paying real job you had in your life. A quick search shows that you were fired in June of ’08 from Star. Did that Sony commercial pay you more than 25k? That Tribune column we know paid you a couple hundred bucks a column, but oh yeah, you got fired from that after what, seven months?

    So for the last four years, you’ve been unemployed. Your dad paid all your bills in NYC, because obvs, you had no job. When he stopped paying your rent, you moved to Chicago and lived at your parents’ place.

    I guess you would call your reality show a job, but now that’s over.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      What about “the home we shared in Coronado”?

      She lived there for like an entire 11 days!

    • JFA says:

      She still has Bravo listed as her employer LOL. As an “on air personality” or something. Because you know all zero of those future interviews she will do for a show no one watched that will never get renewed pays THE BIG BUCKS. I like how she doesn’t even pretend on her FB profile to be a “consultant” or whatever, like she does sometimes whenever people call her out for obviously having no income.

      Oh yeah she’s also an angel investor. MAJOR FUCK YOU MONEY RIGHT THERE. I’m sure she’s heavily invested in a diversified portfolio including tutu futures and padded bra commodities or whatever.

      • KS says:

        Don’t forget Magic Beans, Inc.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        She is not on air and she has no personality.

        “Tutu futures”= I die forever. She is the tutu angel.

      • Greg says:

        It’s not even the correct Bravo listed!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Yes, that’s marvelous that she linked to Canadian Bravo instead.

          Maybe she’s trying to pass herself off as an opera singer?

          • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

            This is even funnier now. Miss Advised will probably never air on Canadian Bravo which retains the original arts/drama format. It is airing here on E!, an entertainment channel that runs a lot of reality shows starting in October.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            wait, you’re saying miss advised is airing on E! in Canada this fall? so now Julia Allison will be able to claim that her show is “internationally syndicated” AND that she is an “on-air personality” for E! AND Bravo??!

          • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

            Should have kept my fingers in my pockets. She prob would never have known.

    • KS says:

      You know, if she has never taken money from her parents as she has repeatedly claimed, she must be one of the most frugal people I’ve heard of, living off less than $50k for years and years and years.

      Julia, why don’t you become a blogger who describes how to get by without working? You could put up those signs on telephone poles “MAKE $5k/wk AT HOME! ASK ME HOW!”

      Oh right… you are simply too lazy to write more than a tweet.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        Maybe she’s still getting by on her oh so modest 10k graduation gift.

      • juliajane says:

        There is simply no way she has ever been financially independent, the numbers just don’t add up. Her rent alone has always been very high.

    • A-Game Content says:

      Based completely on no evidence, just a hunch that her grifter-friends are the type to do this – I think that she is somehow involved in pyramid scheme that sells Twitter and Facebook followers.

    • juliajane says:

      The only honest 9-5 job she’s ever had was working as a receptionist and she was fired after 6 weeks. That was about ten years ago. Since then it’s all been smoke and mirrors and Dad$ers credit card.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        She has so squandered her education and all the opportunities she has been given. It’s just so telling that her contracts don’t get renewed or that she is fired from every job she undertakes. With all the high level contacts she’s made you’d think she would be able to network into a great career, but she is just so inept due to her self-absorption.

  35. SirClompsAlot says:

    Oh for fuck’s sake, she’s grifting for clothes on Twitter now:

    “Does anyone have a @BetseyJohnson dress (pref one in pink) I can borrow in NYC for her retrospective tomorrow night? I FORGOT to bring one!”

    Transbraytion: daddy wouldn’t buy me a new one! pout!

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      what, is Betsey Johnson herself not outfitting Donks in the finest flammable technicolor gowns in her showroom??!

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      Transbrayation: my old ones didn’t fit and permanently reek of Lilly’s shit, mold and Febreeze from hanging on my wall for years

    • Greg says:

      Is Rent the Runway still around?!?

    • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

      Are there new ones? Last I heard Miss J had filed for bankruptcy, which I guess explains the retrospective.

      • Gimme Pig of Love says:

        Yeah, this. She’s still obnoxious as all hell (and are you seriously asking strangers for clothes, donkey??? TOTAL STRANGERS???), but Betsey Johnson went bankrupt in April and the stores all closed.

        I’m not going to lie, though, I have stuff from BJ that I really love, and I’ve enjoyed a lot of her jewelry.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I have a really cute Betsey Johnson owl pendant that I wear a lot and get lots of compliments on. The dresses, though — not really. Maybe when I was 16.

          • JFA says:

            I wore her to prom. That was okay, because I was fucking 17 and it was the 90s. Get over her already. Jaysus.

          • Stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

            Me too!!! It was a little black dress from Betsey Johnson for Victoria’s Secret. I was skinny then…

          • JFA says:

            Mine was awesome, it was 1950s style, really simple black tulle knee length skirt, A-line, with a fitted bodice or whatever, off the shoulder, and a little belt. I wore it with my 90s alternative girl graduated bob, because I was cool. We only went to the damn prom on a lark anyway, and it was lame. Needless to say, I am not reliving it 15+ years later, because I am not a sad fucking loser.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        There aren’t new ones, you’re right! Betsey will be designing for Steve Madden now, and has a show of those clothes, but they’re not in stores yet. Her stores are all closed—she had a FNO party in front of the closed flagship, which holy fuck nothing has made me so glad I don’t do event planning anymore, because the vicarious stress—so you can’t buy a Betsey Johnson dress anywhere but a vintage store at the moment.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          “has a show of those clothes” during Fashion Week this week, I mean. Say what you like about Steve Madden as a company, but they’re doing right by her with the retrospective and positioning the new line.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          a party in front of one of your closed stores, its that a bit depressing?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      What a desperate TWAT. Why would I let you wear my dress you ungrateful smelly cow????

  36. Don Quixote says:

    “Am I allowed to wear pink heels with a green dress? Or is that too much? Then again, maybe that sartorial ship has sailed for me. ;-)”

    A so-called fashion reporter soliciting fashion advice from strangers? And I’m no fashion expert, but I don’t think you should wear pink heels with anything, let alone a green dress.

    “Does anyone have a @BetseyJohnson dress (pref one in pink) I can borrow in NYC for her retrospective tomorrow night? I FORGOT to bring one!”

    Translation: I don’t OWN one and I am too cheap/poor to go out and buy it. You will not be credited for the dress, nor can I guarantee you will get it back. Won’t you help me?

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      Really, aren’t Betsey dresses the go to thing for homecoming dances and that kind of teenage stuff? They’re not more than $350ish. Surely someone making 6 figures could afford that for something as important as omg NYFW.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Translation: I don’t OWN one and I am too cheap/poor to go out and buy it. You will not be credited for the dress, nor can I guarantee you will get it back. Won’t you help me?

      More like she can no longer fit into the ones she shilled for.

    • A-Game Content says:

      Weren’t the pink and blue dresses that Donk and Randi swapped at one of the Bi-polar Birthcray Parties by Betsey Johnson?

  37. afghani says:

    Goat Soap McTinydick —

    Try working out once or twice a week, get your suits drycleaned (or at least learn to sue a steamer or iron), don’t wear baggy suits, and YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE FLOOR. Pull that shit up!

    • KS says:

      yeah. those cufflinks can suck my balls.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Damnit, the GoDaddy DDOS means I can’t link to Jimmy Fallon’s “Pants on the Ground” as done by Neil Young.

      Twinkerballs is indeed looking like a fool with pants on the ground.

    • Factory Seconds says:

      The suit looks fine wrinkle-wise considering he’s been wearing it for a few hours and sitting.

  38. Grammaruan says:

    Please kill me for knowing this but the toilet paper cozy dress hanging at the sublease vacation condo next to the dime store heart shaped purse is from a bipolar birfcray bash and is Betsy I actually saw it in the store at the mall on clearance at the time and no doubt it was two sizes too small then and five sizes too small now

    • Albie Quirky says:

      There is no judgment here in Black Rock City.

      Also, all of us Donkologists know that that dress is a Betsey Johnson because Julie bragged about it. She didn’t bring it to FW because she is dumb (and probably because she didn’t get a ticket to the Betsey-Johnson-for-Steve-Madden show until other people had canceled).

      I am interested to see if Betsey’s first “for someone else” collection is as stuck on the same same same old shit as her last few for-herself collections were.

    • Pearipathetic donkey says:

      I don’t understand why the boyfriend doesn’t just buy her five Betsy Johnson dresses and have her choose one to wear to the fashion show? He must not love her, because seriously who does that?

    • EyeRoller says:

      For anyone new, or everyone else who’s had their memory erased with electroshock therapy since that dress made it’s debut on it’s long journey from 29th birthday party all the way to graveyard of Marina Del Rey condo wall, here’s the visual reminder:

      “And here is THE DRESS for last night’s New York Bicoastal Birthday Bash. Thank you Betsey Johnson!!”
      (Twitpic, 926 days ago)
      [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/igxgfp.jpg[/img]

      Also, COME ON with that purse already that was hanging next to the dress on the BnB photos from yesterday. Get a new heart-shaped prop already! From that 7.31.12 Elle.com “Guinea Pig Of Love” article:
      “My friend Amanda Mihaly gave me this pink Bebe heart purse for my 29th birthday. I’ve had it hanging on the coat rack in my
      hallway as a decoration ever since. I don’t wear it that often, although I did tote it along to my “Prom Date” with Andrew in the 5th episode of my Bravo show.”
      [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/ru5xr8.jpg[/img]

      Seriously, I’m starting to think this purse is what Brad Pitt found in the box at the end of the movie “Seven” instead of Gwyneth Paltrow’s severed head.

      • Hunter Gorham says:

        Calling this dumbfuck out isn’t easy. There are way too many examples of her lying, grifting, sociopathic life to pick from.

  39. iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

    I kind of feel bad watching her try to hang on to being relevant….not really!

  40. Norse Horse says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison- I have a few extra tickets for #NYFW shows this afternoon … Email me if you would like them! JA@JuliaAllison.com :-) 6h

    There’s no way she doesn’t want some cash for these tickets, right? Always be griftin’.

  41. Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

    [img]http://gickr.com/results3/anim_0341766f-3db7-2884-3980-697c21f0b1ee.gif[/img]

  42. EyeRoller says:

    PS– From Winter Fashion Week Diva of February 2012 to Harvest Cheeseburger Cart Queen of September 2012, Donkey can really work a hot pink maternity blazer:
    [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/21dlyko.jpg[/img]
    [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/fm5ft3.jpg[/img]
    [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/nq7mkn.jpg[/img]

    To be clear, there is NO JUDGMENT! inside the Black Rock City I call My Heart (Population: 1 cold me). Repurposing is fine. I just hope Donkey steams the manhand prints off that cinched tarp between Fashion Week seasons.

  43. Random Snowflake says:

    So I came home to find 3ME” tweets in a row in Google Reader.. No, she’s not a narcissist at all.

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/Hx4DL.png[/img]
    https://twitter.com/JuliaAllison/statuses/245227606021132288

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/iK37T.png[/img]
    https://twitter.com/JuliaAllison/statuses/245243657882566656

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/fGvk2.png[/img]
    https://twitter.com/JuliaAllison/statuses/245243852091432960

    • authenticity costume says:

      my eyes are tired and so fat; so old, but i read that 2nd tweet and was like, ‘this bitch did NOT just tweet @ werner herzog!”

      • mule on rouge says:

        I did a double-take on that one, as well. Then I fixed a cup of coffee and thought about ways a Donkey might end up on Death Row. She murdered fashion — does that count?

    • mule on rouge says:

      Honey, the title of Fashion Week Fairy has already been claimed. By Devin Stetler.

    • JFA says:

      SO GENEROUS. Giving away free tix to (probably D list) FW shows because she obviously has no friends who want to go with her. Her altruism knows no bounds.

      #usedfashionmagazines #nevarforget

  44. Dr. Gary says:

    Devin really is her new pet, isn’t he?

    What kind of man spends all of his time traveling around the country, tagging along with his girlfriend like this? It makes him look like a huge loser. I’d have no respect for a guy who dropped everything to follow me around like a puppy dog.

    Even though it’s what she must really want, I think eventually she will tire of it and resent the fact that he doesn’t have a big, fat wallet. I bet she keeps him around until she can OBO.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      He is so ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz-tastic. I think she is just man starved since she went a year without a date post Jack. And yes, this guy is a loser. But so is the whole grifting group she associates herself.

      Nary a word about her sister Julia Price.

    • Helena (Vitruvian Donkey) says:

      I’m getting increasingly inclined to believe that this is much more of a “business partnership” than a “romantic relationship.” IMO, she clearly doesn’t give a fuck about him, and I have yet to see any evidence that he’d be able to identify her in a line of pink-painted braying donkeys.

      • Fameless Shamewhore says:

        Yes, they just don’t look *at all* as though they are having fun in each other’s company. Dead eyes, fake smiles is all I can see.

        • Helena (Vitruvian Donkey) says:

          It’s not just that, although I totally agree, but also her lulztastic idea that revealing that she has a BOY who LOVES her, SUCK IT HATERS, right after the MissAdviced debacle somehow proves her right (which we all know every good narcissist must be at all times and don’t you ever forget it). Classic imbecile donkey. Plus the (nearly?) total lack of those “my amazing boyfriend loves me so much; here’s a screengrab of this head-slappingly stupid exchange we just had, LOL!” and “check out this stupid thing my amazing boyfriend does, jealous much??” and “Dadsers loves my amazing boyfriend so hard, LOL!” and “;)” tweets. I know some kind people have speculated that she’s learning not to overshare, but come on. AND let’s not forget the fact that he was on that singles / dating website well into the time she claimed they were already an item. And let’s not forget the fact that he’s the kind of guy who poses for fauxtoshoots, which comes pretty close to the kind of guy who would pose for fauxtoshoots with a braying paying (haha, I know) donkey in my book.

          • Hunter Gorham says:

            I still kick myself for being pissed that she got on TV. Jacy was like “this is going to be awesome!” but I was all “This stupid cunt is getting REWARDED for being a piece of shit, her whole life???”

            Jacy and JP: doing the Lord’s work.

          • EyeRoller says:

            All I know is that my ass is sick of seeing them wasting time posing in front of shit like this:
            [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/2zew9dt.jpg[/img]
            When I would give my non-deceased grandmother’s gold fillings if they would just full- time start posing in front of shit like this:
            [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/29qftqb.jpg[/img]

          • JFA says:

            This is all saving face. That’s all it EVER is with her though. She could not deal with the ego blow that she was made to look like an undateable lunatic on television. So SURPRISE! Now I have a boyfriend!

            People really in love don’t have to prove to the world constantly how in love they are. Also, one of the only things she’s said about him is “he’s just so NICE!” yeah. 100% real true love.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I’m starting to agree, too. I think that somehow she has convinced herself (and others) that she is a super celeb, and that she needs the boyfriend for a set time in order to maintain her image post dating show. She is really expecting papparazzi to follow her to lunch. This would explain why Devin seems to have over a month totally free and why two unemployed adults are blowing through mystery money they don’t have. I’m betting a press release will be issued after the “parting on good terms.”

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      Proposed new name for Goat Soap: “Man Lilly” (or “Lillydude”)

    • Hunter Gorham says:

      MOS DEF

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      This.
      Julie is going to cheat on him, then dump him.
      Julie’s despicable past behavior predicts her future, over and over again.

      Engaged, cheats, dumps. Read all about it, Newbies.

      #foreveralonealwaysandinperpetuity

    • Fauxt of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

      I have a theory that Devin is going to OBO her. And it will be delicious. Sexually.

  45. Blowjobs by Bravo says:

    I’m sure it’s been mentioned, but Deadman has the most unnatural pose with her and that under boob grab.

    • mule on rouge says:

      Maybe her waist really IS directly beneath her bra. If so, I take back all my snarky comments regarding her tragic habit of hiking waistbands up to her chest.

  46. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    She’s actually starting to look like NGMB in photos now. Bitch is aging FAST.

    • mule on rouge says:

      I was just thinking about ol’ Granny and her bags of money. What if a good chunk of Donkey’s inheritance is being held until she settles down and gets married? With maybe another shake of the money tree when she reproduces (shudder)? It would explain the instant couplehood. And why Devin willingly spends all his time with an ass (teehee). He’s always smiling because he’s getting a cut.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      separated at birth!

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/ali5Z.png[/img]

      • EyeRoller says:

        This moment is brought to you by:
        “Women (Stretching Their Arms) Throughout History”

        Here we see Amelia Earhart, standing in front of something, accomplishing something, and then she DISAPPEARED!
        [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/23tp001.jpg[/img]

        Here we see Donkey, standing in front of nothing, accomplishing nothing, and now she WON’T GO AWAY!
        [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/10f6dc4.jpg[/img]

  47. EyeRoller says:

    [img]http://i.picasion.com/pic58/e51110c26b0d6c77da52e89092cd8988.gif[/img]

  48. Hunter Gorham says:

    Wait a minute…between these two fucksticks…who OBO’s first?

    Bettin’ on Stetler. Any takers?

    • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

      That’s my theory, too! As I said upstream, it’s going to be delicious! Sexually.

  49. rankles the jankles says:

    Go Fug YourselfVerified
    ‏@fuggirls
    After preening for 10 mins for a dude who may be her boyfriend, a girl just methodically photobombed 3 people’s street-style pictures. -H

    This has to be JA, right?

  50. Jack the Bulldog says:

    In the grand tradition of Julia Allison, Kristin Thorne makes a national tragedy all about me, Me, Me!

    “It’s strange to think that on this day 11 years ago I was a sophomore in college. I watched the towers fall, saw the Pentagon burning from my college campus. Little did I know that I would go into a business that would bring me so close to the families of the victims.”

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      full of insight, empathy, and tact, this one.

    • JFA says:

      There is nothing, and I mean literally NOTHING, worse than assholes with nonstories about where they were 9/11. Especially if you are a NYer who was anywhere near the towers that day. No one cares where you were you stupid twat. Ugh.

      I hate that chick. What a moron.

    • Helena (Vitruvian Donkey) says:

      “It’s strange to think that on this day 11 years ago I was a sophomore in college??” Strange HOW, tool? Time moves, this has been generally known since about 27 years ago (ON THIS DAY, HOW STRANGE).

  51. JFA says:

    Those shiny pantyhose. They really don’t get better upon multiple viewings. I had a few pairs like that, I was on the dance team. I was 14. I bet they are control top.

    • JFA says:

      Other random thoughts – her face is gynormous next to pencildick there. It’s expanding, I’m pretty sure of it.

  52. SirClompsAlot says:

    I love the Brit gem she just retweeted:

    “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” Words by Maya Angelou, design by Brit + Co

    Then a link to the least creative design I’ve ever seen http://ow.ly/i/Vqx6/original

  53. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    can someone explain the meaning of “on top” here?

    @MarcusLovingood: Wonderful having the beautiful @Juliaallison with us @TheVillaSFO this weekend! #fierce #beautiful #ontop

  54. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    Skirt Pull and Princess Widestance, paging Skirt Pull and Princess Widestance!

    [img]http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/548107_10151277717195485_437099094_n.jpg[/img]

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      LOL’g cuz that dress looks just like what my friend has up for sale on ebay (that her tiny 7-yr-old daughter wore as a flower girl in a wedding) …

      LOL’g at D0nkey wearing white clodhoppers to NYFW after Labor Bray …

      LOL’g at how much the fauxtographer obvs hates D0nkey … that proportion!

  55. Belle says:

    It’s actually really easy to get accredited for FW. You submit a very simple app, and are only asked to provide the platform where your content will be shown and some samples of previous work. Even a half-assed Donk blog post would probably do.

    The hard part is being invited to shows. The PR team Mercedes Benz hires will give you a list of designers and contact info that’s several pages, and you could, in theory, write and ask for invites. I know that in Donk’s world this would be considered work–excuse me, running errands while sitting at a desk–so it would probably be pawned off to an intern. Or more likely, she’s on the list for some of the many PR agencies who plan these things and they use her as filler when they have empty seats.

    Anyone can get credentialed, and some designers, both at NYFW proper and outside of it, are desperate for attendees and would invite anyone with a pulse.

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