“For those who were asking, my Burning Man photos were taken on a cheap Canon camera. None – NONE – not a SINGLE one – were photoshopped. (I don’t even own photoshop.) I *did* brighten them (using the Enhance tool in iPhoto), and sometimes I amped up the color using the color saturation boost to a 1, but that’s it. I find that the sun in the desert does most of the hard work of lighting the photo perfectly!”
Well, now you know, Nobody Who Asked! No dramatic digital enhancement was necessary to make Julia Allison look like a bat shit insane tranny Peter Pan. It was all her — and the demon that lives inside her that makes her body contort in humanly impossible ways.
Doesn’t “own” “photoshop”. That’s why they aren’t “photoshopped”. She uses whatever tools (heh) that came free with her Mac. And maybe a bit of Pixlr, which is free online. She stretches the hell out of these photos, which gives the guys toothpick ankles that look like they’re about to snap.
Yes, the legalese! PhotoShop is seriously expensive and the industry standard, so Adobe doesn’t need to give it to low-rent grifters. Donks may have a borrowed copy of PhotoShop Elements (stripped down basic version) or any number of freebie photo editing applications.
It’s really misrepresentation or lying or fraud, not legalese. Legalese is legal terminology, not telling lies or misleading folks.
As a professional photog who SLAYS IT…(gasp)…I taught her a few things…
be my bro lover, lover boy
He’s taken, Stinky!
I use iPhoto and it has a LOT of retouching tools now. Not just for adjusting lighting. She’s full of bullshit as usual.
but, it’s not photoshop. and that is the important part. legalese.
I wonder if that “cheap Canon camera” was one of the free ones she somehow got from an overly generous Canon for doing some shoutout one time on her sideways Tumblr blog.
SOURCE: I have a Phd in Donk
jp I bow down to your incandescent outrage. Or scorn. Or whatever. Long may it burn, or simmer, or boil over ever so slowly.
I believe it’s ennui.
can ennui sear?
Come on – she had a box vagina. Look at the pic where she is sitting on the swing. Those doughy thighs are crammed so close close together she could start a fire. Then in other photos… all of a sudden her thighs are five feet apart as are her labia lips.
Donkey, pro tip, when you shop out your huge wiener we know the pic has been tampered with.
Bull. Fucking. Shit.
This is some ‘shopped cooter right here:
p.s. WHERE IS YOUR CAMEL TOE?
Found it!
She needs to Photoshop out that nasty ass skin tag.
I finally looked up what a skin tag was the other day because I was curious (had no idea what they were, I thought it might be referring to a botched plastic surgery job), and oh my Gregory House. Nastiness.
In iPhoto, that skintag would have been really easy to take out. She could have used the blemish remover tool.
Video stills do not lie
The fact that she was up until 3am makes me convinced she’s on something – hence the weight loss. If you come home after Burning Man – you sleep for a week – not stay up all night Googling yourself and talking to no one on Facebook.
She was up later than that. I woke up early, 5:30/6AM ish, and she had just posted on FB.
THIS DOES NOT EVEN MAKE ANATOMICAL SENSE.
AT ALL!!!!!!!
Leave it to our donkey to one up last years ass photo by making us blow up and examine her snatch.
Seriously.
p.s. I’m so glad you’re back, Daddy.
She also reduced the width of her thighs.
No, really though, her right leg below the knee is confusing as all hell in this picture.
“Schedule for the rest of September: Devin and I fly to SF on Friday to stay at Ben Way’s soon-to-be-legendary BRAVO house “The Villa,” then attend my high school debate partner Andrew Roin’s wedding that Saturday. Sunday at 6 am we fly to New York so I can cover Fashion Week for my 11th straight season … and on the 17th I fly to my parents’ home in Chicago to pick up Lillydog, who has been visiting her “grandparents” while I was “being irresponsible” (my parents’ term) at Burning Man. I offered to pay them to dog sit! They declined, preferring to choose the option of “hold it over daughter’s head” instead. Age 12 for life in my parents’ eyes.”
Derek Stetler needs to get a job, Derek Stetler.
When I’m dating someone, I want there to be a little mystery, not him towing around behind me snapping photos of me while I do my pretend job for my Vimeo account.
This guy is a loser with a Pencil dick.
WHO is she covering Fashion Week for?
Us
Us, or “Us”?
catpeeps are the only audience. us.
Has she really been “covering” this event for 11 straight years? That sounds bogus as hell. Why would she be “covering” NY Fashion Week in college for a dating column?
2 seasons per year = 5.5 years
She meant: Her ass has been “covering” a plastic 3-legged foldout chair with an iphone and a Playschool Junior Superstar Mic camped out for two days in an underground parking garage a football field away from Fashion Week.
For 11. straight. years.
Seriously, does she even have the fake NBC mic anymore? Is she still trying out the ruse that it’ll be shown on NBC ny nonstop channel which like, literally zero people watch? Or did she finally just give that lie up?
Wait. This is real??? I thought it was a *faux* Julie travel update. Lulz.
She sees her parents more often than I do, and mine live 20 minutes away.
This.
They make her pick up her check in person, so they can give her the “irresponsible” talking to first.
She’s such a bitch for making fun of them for that on twitter.
This. It’s called ‘get a fucking life.”
Also, at least she admits she is a terrible dog owner. Holy shit. I have a dog sitter I pay lots of money for when I have the time/money to travel, which is pretty much never right now. Because guess what? Everyone in my life has their own dogs/lives/kids/responsibilities, and they wouldn’t do it nor would I expect them to watch my fucking dogs.
She is a piece of shit human being.
i pay a dog walker to come 2x day
Oh yeah me too, once a day. Because we dont suck. I also pay to have a sitter watch them when I go away because i’m not a selfish asshole.
Devin Stetler is acting like a fucking lapdog. Devin Stetler a/k/a Twinkerbell should be embarrassed to be boytoyed around the country like a Gregdamn accessory. If I were Devin Stetler, I would be embarrassed for my Devin Stetler self.
Low interest rates, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Lady Gaga, lose weight, breast implants, Miss Advised, Devin Stetler, student loans, great sex, barely legal, The Avengers.
TWINKERBELL IS IT!!!!!!
Absolute perfection, we have a new name!!!!
Devin Stetler is the new Lilly. Twinkerbell is perfect.
thin thighs in 30 days
Or just watch Donks edit the shit out of hers.
Twinkerballs
Furthermore: Tucker Max, Emily Gould, Two Girls, One Cup, Devorah Rose, Penis Length, Tentacle Porn, Gallery Girls, Golden Showers
Furtherfurthermoremore: Slutty Prisoner 2004, Taylor Swift, Pancake blintchikis, floor oinking, Bambi porn, breast implant removal, Cheesy Skillets, Maybe It’s Adobe, Maybe It’s Braybelline, Dirty Sanchezes
Also, she’s missing most of FW. Why even bother for so little time, and so few of the good shows?
Her pairs of viewers on her Vimeo account will be so disappointed.
her protege [Jordacted] is doing Fashion Week this year, and I’m sure will produce actual OMG content for her OMG actual sponsors for their sites (although, I mean, shilling for Timex watches is lame-O but, as Michael K. says, #getmoneybitch)
Her 11th straight season of coverage (of herself backstage) is also her 11th straight season of gatecrashing, front row seat poaching, and NOT GETTING PAID.
Oh, but she’ll be there for Juicy (stinky velour) Couture!
wow, points to Robin and Peter, at least, for truth-telling, even if they caved.
Donkey, you are age 12 in EVERYONE’S eyes because of your ridiculous behavior!
“Age 12 for life in my parents’ eyes.”
Wearing Adult sized Care Bear costumes, tiaras, tutus, and sleeping with teddy bears has no bearing on this, whatsoever.
Somehow, I don’t think her parents have to chastise her “baby” brother for acting like a thoughtless, bratty pre-teen.
This guy is a real catch, huh? Travels around and crashes couches with her. Maybe she’s told him she can help him find a job?
her 73 point checklist could actually have been whittled down to just one item:
1. he does not have a job so he can follow me around all day, every day.
It’s my only requirement, too, and Hunter’s happy to let me dress him up in puka shells and pink hot pants.
This bitch is going to be in my hood for the wedding. I will be on Bray patrol and by that hanging out at the douchiest joints in the neighborhood because that’s where she’ll probably end up “sipping” and yelling at her gay to get married.
Okay, I know fuck all about photochop, and can barely use Gimp, but what explains the weird shadows/contours in photos like this, other than photochop?
Playa Magic, Bunnies!
a “cheap Canon camera”?
It’s a flash sync issue.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_synchronization
Basically, when the subjects are darker than the bright background, you stop the aperture down to pick up all the detail in the background. Then you deploy the flash at the end of the long exposure to illuminate the subjects. You’ll see artifacts where the subjects have shifted slightly during the long exposure. Rear-curtain sync is what’s happening here.
Julia Allison
14 minutes ago near Los Angeles
Who dares me to wear a tiara to Fashion Week?
Like ·
4 people like this.
Steven Grossman Please don’t.
8 minutes ago · Like · 1
Her manager is so FUCKING over a Donkey.
OMG! I want to see Steven Grossman and Derek Stetler in a room together!!!!!
Who DARES her? It’s not really a dare, is it, since she wears one more often than not. Yo, Donkzilla, I dare you NOT to wear a tiara, you dipshit.
Oh god, her mania and self love is off the fucking charts. She really, honestly thinks a) she is cute and b) everyone notices and cares.
No one cares! About your stupid fucking tutus, burning man vanity costumes, gay boyfriend, or fake FW coverage. Literally, zero people. She just never stops trying to make herself happen even though she is confronted with resounding boos and/or silence.
Just because you got a decent looking moron with no balls to schtupp you doesn’t mean you are the shit. Just stop.
Seriously this has been going on since, what, at least 2007? Haha, I love pink! Haha here is me eating a cupcake! Oh look at me, I’m such a card, I wear tiaras everywhere! oh here I am on television making a complete bunner boiler fool out of myself! Please love me and laugh!
No.
Love, no.
Laugh, yes.
With you, no.
At you, yes.
OT – BUNNY BOILER MOMENT!!!!!
Julia Allison
Subscribe · Yesterday via iPhoto
Julia Allison Devin Stetler, I know you’re on Facebook right now.
3 hours ago · Like
The call out for a man doctor was to reposition that GPS up his ass …
+1
+2
ulia Allison Michael, I saw your photos from later in the week and am despondent I missed it.
You channeled the Burning Man magic. xoxo
27 minutes ago · Like
So… as some suspected, looks like she might have been there for a photo op and then bailed, LOL.
Good catch!
so her red costume, her yellow costume, her green costume, her rainbow costume, her pink costume, her white costume, her blue costume, and her care bear costume wear all worn in the span of one or two days?! did i miss any colors (bright)??!
AND she withheld her tweets and facebook updates until monday, even though she wasn’t actually at BM anymore??!
THE CONSPIRACY GOES SO DEEP
DEEPER THAN JULIA ALLISON’S APPLICATION OF CHANEL FOUNDATION AND PRESSED POWDER
AND THAT’S PRETTY DEEP
YOU CAN SERIOUSLY STICK A THUMBTACK INTO HER FACE AND SHE CAN’T EVEN FEEL IT
The pic description of Goat Soap, The Beard and Elmo?
From FB:
— with Devin Stetler.
Julia Allison – We stumbled across this Elmo doll in Camp Mystic, and since he was the color of the day, he got to pose with us.
Like · Share
6 people like this.
John Neffinger That’s Elmo, dear. Gonzo is this guy: http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/241888/The%2BGreat%2BGonzo.jpg
Monday at 11:50pm · Like
Julia Allison Errrr … oops? hahaha
Tuesday at 12:18am · Like · 1
Gonzo journalism!!!!!
so I guess previously the comment said gonzo and she edited it to say elmo? b/c otherwise im confused
What confuses me is WHO THE F DOESN’T KNOW ELMO!?!?
the same donkey who has never heard radiohead, seen star wars, or smoked “the pot”
Never heard Radiohead?????????????????????
No wonder she’s such a tool.
I loathe it when she says shit like “errr….oops?”
IT’S NOT CUTE.
Nor is the Spanish Interrogation. Dumb Donkey is Dumb.
Gonzo Goes to Twitburg.
This Photoshoopgate is pretty much like a 9/11 Truther campaign.
Either the US government is good enough to pull off 9/11, or it’s too dumb to prevent it. Pick one and stick with it.
Julia Allison, tech founder and journalist, is either smart enough to know how to do production-level photo editing or she’s too dumb to do anything right except ask Twitter for help on how to google.
We’re analyzing shadows and gaps on overblown blocky chopping artifact filled jpegs for the existence of a Patterson bigfoot sighting when in reality it’s really just our heads playing tricks thinking there’s a messiah Jesus on french toast.
Julia Allison is too stupid to use Photoshop. Frankly, I think she’s too stupid to even use iPhoto. Or even how to use a camera. A lot of her photos are just horrible even for amateur Facebooking status, they lack composition, they’re out of focus, they’re not interesting, they have shitty coloring. If these are what makes to “print” then imagine what she left on the cutting floor.
Wait, scratch that, she doesn’t edit anything and holds nothing back, she essentially uses iPhoto to slurp out all the shitty photos and presses the Publish to Facebook button and calls it a day. Like a keyboard monkey.
Please. Stop with the zooming in to her cameltoes and snatches. Stop with the photoshop conspiracies. Frankly the subject matters–wtf is up with her ghostface? wtf is up with wearing a tiara everywhere? wtf is up with her shitty costume choices?–is already scary enough.
PS. I will concede that maybe she will stretch a photo vertically to create some forced perspective bullshit to elongate her body but to think this Georgetown political sci major is smart enough to get art is like believing a 2nd grader fingerpainting gets Picasso.
She definitely used to do heavy airbrushing on her photos. Her skin looked like plastic. Now whether she did it or some unpaid intern… seems likely the latter.
She really needs to stop trying to make the tiara happen. It’s not her Skinnygirl Martini.
totally agree — her weight fluctuates, she wears weird clothes and she knows how to work her angles and contort her body like crazy.
perfectly said
And she has a square crotch?
One square crotch & one prominent cheek …
And no tittehs.
Nothing says “professional” like “please take a picture of me in a terrible dress signing a ‘contract.’” If I ever do that in a professional setting…I just hope the nearest person puts me out of my misery like I deserve.
That cheek is so weird! It looks like a Jay Leno chin is growing out of the side of her face!
Those things posing as eyelashes make me want to heave.
Everything aspect of this photo is subtly wrong. The aforementioned cheek. The view of far, far too much of her left breast. The fact that all her jewelry looks like it came out of a gumball machine. That strange orange cast on her arms, as if she’s sitting in a giant toaster oven. It’s like a Diane Arbus, you can’t stare at it too long without feeling unsettled.
I partially agree. However one reason the colors are rubbish, the framing is terrible and the composition lacks is because these are not factors in determining a good photo for her. It’s all about how she looks; how skinny and if it’s her “good side”.
Agreed, we overestimate the digital nip-tucking at times, the bitch does have a crazy waist and hips, but I also believe she skews the ratio with strange poses, cutlets, costumes, fillers, weight fluctation, and a true narcissist’s eye when tossing off photos of herself into the great wide open. Sneaky AND stupid.
“Oh – and my theme – in case it wasn’t obvious – was Rainbow. Since the theme for Burning Man 2012 was Fertility 2.0, my interpretation of that theme was to dress as a symbol of life, the rainbow after the rain shower – in bright, solid colors, a different color every day. With a tiara! Next year maybe I’ll do hard core black reactionary Mad Max style.
”
She *never* reads here.
my theme was buying crap from the crap store
ftfy
my theme was wearing whatever clothes I got for free
FTFY
winner
My theme was seeing just how much I could emasculate the love of my life.
My theme, in case you couldn’t tell it from my boyfriend– was Rainbow.
Ugh.
Nothing says “fertility” like Care Bears.
Bwahaha!
What, no unicorns? That’s like having a theme of green eggs without ham. Why am I not surprised that, on Planet Donkey, rainbows have distinct, opaque bands of bright, solid colors that came straight out of God’s magic box of crayons?
Judging by her two favorite poses, I thought the themes were the Vitruvian Donkey / Donkey Fighting Bowel Movements.
Please someone take Vitruvian Donkey.
Well if you insist.
Aaaaand she’s uploaded a few more. Starting with some scenery shots NOT of her or the Ken doll — because, of course, she never reads here.
My goodness, she actually got a photo of the Neverwas Haul. (East Bay – represent!)
I never realized Oldsmobile had a Bates Motel model back in the day.
Them’s people is nekkid!
Is that Howl’s Moving Castle? I really want it to be.
Somebody broke a chunk off an Old Spaghetti Factory and glued wheels to it.
So much contorting.
Why are her thighs touching! I have seen several BM photos and it is very clear that she has a wide set vagina and a five inch space between her thighs.
Wait, does she have a beach bike in very color? I hope she donated them when she was done because, gross.
I think she’s posing with someone else’s bike; you see her dumbass pink bike off to the left.
The orange bike was Twinkerball’s.
Oh, lol, die.
how much practice that must take in front of mirrors in every direction
Who told her that stupid leg wrap looked amazing? Enough to pack one in every color and strap it on the ol’ hoof every day? Sheeeeeesh
The voices in her head encourage her to wear all sorts of hilariously awful fuggery. Because they hate her.
Nice port-a-potties.
how much lift did it take to be able to jump in those platform boot monstrosities?
I may have just crapped my pants (in a good way). (If you actually know of a “good way” to crap your pants, please don’t tell me about it. Ever.)
I just barked. OMG.
Sploosh.
Is Fat-Bottom Burro paying tribute to the late Freddy Mercury here?
Now THERE’s a non-photoshopped Donkey hindquarters.
The red sausage casings again, really?
Did Germany teach D0nkey nothing?
The return of Ballpark Franks!
Can she actually walk in all these Frankenstein clodhoppers, or does Tweedleum carry her everywhere? It must be like walking on stilts.
Ugh, beyond the obvious snark on Vienna Red Not-Hot, look at all that pink Wal-Mart crap behind her. Doesn’t even look like she washed the sheets before using them (see the pillowcase creases).
Wait just a second… what is this place? Is this inside the RV? Why are there stairs and an air vent?
So I’m confused. In this pic there is what appears to be just a single bed, all made up for someone to sleep in. But they also have that queen/king sized bed from the photo with all her clothes splayed out. So who slept in this bed?
Comparing it to this photo, I think it’s a couch that’s been covered in a blanket with bed pillows on either side. The line down the carpet matches. Stairs up to the bedroom? Where’s the door to enter this thing?
0 likes
Can someone wiser than I point out: does this, or does this not, signal that she is a lesbian now?
She’s just supporting devin stetler.
Gee — there isn’t a 5 foot space between her thighs here…..hmmmm
Cameltoes are really just hearts turned upside down.
Love!
Gay escort.
COME ON DEVIN STETLER!!!!!
he looks like an
airDonk traffic controller.Please little Donkeyboy, with the costumes, just:
http://i48.tinypic.com/23l0duu.jpg
when did the villiage people get back together?
<3
That left thigh is lumpy bumpy. Sure she’s too dumb to photoshop….without the whole world noticing that is.
And she has no hips! If someone is going to stoop to the low level that is photoshopping yourself, wouldn’t you want to ADD length to your body, not take it away? What an idiot.
Thighs not photoshopped here — “uh, oooops!!! ha ha ha”
Her calves are wider than his thighs.
WHO FUCK IS TAKING THESE PICTURES??? You, sir or madam are an asswipe.
I’m going to guess a Gorillapod mounted on the bicycle handlebars or whatever that tin cup thing was.
He looks like an Eastern European low budget gay porn actor.
Men at play dot com.
I was thinking more of those bizarro videos on the free porn sites like youporn or xtube where the guys are strangely hairless and underdeveloped and oddly proportioned and seem really demented and wear frighteningly euro trashy ensembles. He’s def not Bel Ami calibre.
I have no idea what any of you are talking about.
There’s a ’94 gay porn where a guy on the side of the road in the desert fucks himself with a traffic cone. Actually, he SQUATS on the traffic cone, thereby easing it up his own ass, but those are tiny deets when it comes to quality entertainment.
THAT’S what this photo of Donk and Road Work Twink reminds me of. Flashpoint: Hot as Hell (Falcon Studios, 1994). Thanks for letting me share.
He strikes me as being into scat or filching – def something off about that one. I find him kinda disturbing.
I mean “felching” dam autocorrect.
There was a minor character on 30 Rock last season named Gaylord Felcher. I think that’d be a swell name for this guy.
I approve of this name
What is her deal with this leg wrapping thing she kept doing?
my goodness, it just keeps getting better and better. A cornucopia of astonishments.
You want to run from this cornucopia as fast as you can, or your fate will be far worse than getting killed by one of those fuckers from District 1.
May the clods be ever in your favor.
Those boots are so fucking stupid.
she forgot to “amp up the color” on her back there…
Let me quote the great Kent Brockman here: “‘There’s only one word for that — idiocy.”
She’s passing gas in this photo.
This one, too…
Looks like borrowed the coat from Annie Lala… Rember the eyeball atrocity from their session on miss advised? Also those c. 93 platforms must stink to high hell.
Looking at her pictures two thoughts spring to mind.
Burning Man looks whiter than any White Weekend I’ve ever seen.
and do the initials of the event also stand for Burgeoning Melanoma?
The whole gathering seems like a dermatologist’s wet dream. Scantily clad Caucasians under intense desert sun, many of them too messed up to remember to apply suntan lotion I’m sure is excellent for business!
lulz!
Dr. Bobby should go next year and set up shop on site.
This thing what whiter than the RNC.
I have insomnia and I’m guessing Donkey does too, as she is talking to herself on the Facebooks.
Julia Allison Devin Stetler, I love that huge grin on your face.
55 minutes ago · Like
It’s 4:00am.
Ugh, there is absolutely nothing worse than THAT couple, the one on FB who constantly posts pics of themselves with each other, has both profile pics of themselves with each other, constantly cooing all over each other in comments etc.
You are 31. You are insufferable. Please stop.
And there’s nothing worse than the girl whose profile pic AND cover photo is that of herself in a bikini. Hate those girls, hate her.
And there’s nothing worse than the Donks.
That huge, gummy grin with giant teeth is so cuuute, Devin Stetler. Your gums are soooo, erm….PINK! You match my room, bunny!!!!
i don’t own photoshop
i manipulate the hell out of photographic images in however many other editing programs i can borrow or steal
clarified
sorry; i should have read from the top, not from the bottom. yes.
What is the point of this fucking festival again? Now that gold digging Donk is going, it’s really over. I mean, she didn’t even make her costumes – the whole point is that it’s a creative art festival right?
What does this woman do for a living again? Dad? Dad?
are you suggesting that buying crap and wearing it is not art?
The point is to wear tutus and hang out in hammocks with gay boyfriends, it’s art and stuff. Clearly.
Give the girl a break from her very stressful life of not working, not taking care of her pets, and not paying her own rent.
your judgement has no place in black rock city
This is just creepy… and so telling she can’t just get in a fucking hammock and chill if people don’t see she’s chillin’ with a boy.
http://vimeo.com/48939725
omg the feet handled by gloved hands
The gloved hands ON THE BLOATED CORPSE TOES!!!!!!
The maw of this catlady loudly guffawing at the visual!!!!
The bloated corpse toes with RAINBOW polish!
Rainbows, rainbows, everywhere, haters, even on my sausage toes!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
(disappears into the desert braying maniacally)
I thought I was watching a Dario Argento flick, The Donk with the Crystal Hooves!
Donkey, Pro tip, in some photos your boyfriend, Twinkerbell, almost passes for a man – but when you put him on video – he can’t hide his herp derp/gummy smile/more gay looking than a Tom Cruise impersonator in Weho on Halloween night.
You feel me? Keep Devin Stetler in stills, not video.
Hope that helps!
At the very last frame at 00:38 dude’s expression is like “how much longer do I have to fake hetero for this cunt”…
I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it
+1
Donkey wouldn’t have a clue what you’re talking about there, which is why I give this comment a super sized “+” with a half twist.
+ ∞
I know you’re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin.
I’m going to hang up this phone*Drops phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world … without you.However, here’s a quote she might recognize:
“You’re a spoiled, silly, boring, insignificant little twit.”
–Fairy Godmother Stella Winston (as played flawlessly by Beverly D’Angelo, Maid To Order, 1987)
If you want to recite a Fairy Godmother quotation a Donkey will recognize, you’re gonna have to thumb through the Walt Disney collection.
Though I can’t recall any Disney Fairy Godmother ever keeping it real like in the Maid To Order line.
Ratchet– Dippity Donkity Doo!
haha, love it, though Donk is more of an ugly step-sister than a Cinderella.
I think he wanted to sing along too!
@idiotbox Why did you do this to me @ the beginning of a workday.
A “Killing Me Hardly” mini lip dub!!! I can’t comment on this fully yet. It’s that bad.
still processing in the queue
Paging @Donkerena: Please report to the front desk where your dreams have come false. Didn’t you post last night that you were getting headfried on this boring creepshow? Well, it’s looks like the ol’ Donkey’s backed her ass out of her paddock and kicked up a cloud of new dust in your mug. Enjoy that vimeo clip and her new, very important photoshopping diatribe and travel itinierary/soliloquy.
So gross and uncomfortable to watch.
LOST & FOUND: LackaSacka’s sack be under his chin …
Ooops!
Looks like the BF has a bad case of chinballalitis.
Julia Allison’s fake plastic pelts are sooooo pretty!
You can’t even tell, no breakage or stringy shit whatsoever!
Nice 5:00 o’clock side burn shadows too!
BONUS LAUGH: Captcha = “live life with purpose”
Pssssttt!
Anyone wanna bet LackaSacka is a Republican?
log cabin
dead
He’s passed out from the toejam stench.
This is truly terrifying and I will have nightmares.
Wow, he truly belongs in gay porn.
Here, I think LackaSacka is simultaneously trying to make a deal with the devil & to breathe through his mouth because D0nkey has her blowfeet in his face …
Herp to the derp power.
Those hooves are SWOLLED. UP. Methinks she’d been standing in those Barbawronga space boots while eating nothing but potato chips and straight yeastballs FOR DAYS.
if anything needs to be photoshopped, it’s those feet
My feet look like that at the end of the day.
Of course, I’m 31 weeks pregnant.
i wore flip flops the last month and the first month after
I said this before, but I think those two were rollin’ deep on the playa.
The way he moves his jaw back and forth/moves his tongue around in his mouth and kind of rolls his eyes around reminds me of someone on sort of speedy e. Or maybe he is really hungover and can’t figure out how to get away.
This is so frightening to me. Is he turned on or repulsed by her Ham Slabs feet? I can’t tell!!
That is the face of repulsion…it’s the same one Andrew made during Miss Advised
1. Wait a minute did someone ask her if her images were “photoshopped” and if so…who?
2. The term “photoshop” (however inaccurate) is basically used by the masses for any picture editing software…so she probably didn’t use “photoshop” but some low rent version…
3. This whole festival looks ridiculous…I can’t believe people are paying to do it…
4. These images have totally been edited and by someone that’s needs a photo editing class.
5. and even edited they still look bad…
have looked – have not seen ANYONE mention fauxtoshopping anywhere but here
hmmnn… I wonder who that rant was being addressed to…
She’s so stupid and clumsy about it too. Overexplaining about something no one even mentioned.
She also posted a bunch of her FRIEND, Nick Bilton’s photos after I mentioned that she wasn’t in any of them. PSYCHO.
She NEVER reads here.
No one asked her. She just wanted to make sure, lest the 40 pics of her ass didnt make it clear enough, that she is skinny and hot now with a gay boyfriend so fuck you. She won. Anything else you want clarified? How about her travel schedule for the next 2 months?
I wonder if she has any pets?
Hey guys …
Ever used BitTorrent to download a song? A book? How about a film or a TV show?
It’s highly likely that within 3 hours of doing so, the copyright enforcement people were on to you, monitoring your IP address, according to new research.
CONTINUE READING
You can change your IP by unplugging your cable modem for a few minutes and then powering it back on.
If you are dedicated to a life of pirating movies though, I suggest you get a VPN and/or seedbox.
I like the phrase “dedicated to a life of pirating movies.”
I envision flouncy shirts, eye-patches, unwashed hair, and swords are involved in such a life.
Yeah, no. I don’t know if a DSL modem is the same as a cable modem, but, doesn’t matter, I don’t need a work-around either way. I just found it interesting enough to pass on, since the occasional BT link is posted here.
None “was” photoshopped. You’re welcome Jaba
(n.b. I’m not one of those prescriptivists that insist “none” is always singular, but in this instance, since she went to the trouble to say “not a SINGLE one” — it should be “was”.)
She could’ve used the “idiot removal” tool but it would’ve entirely erased her from the photos.
This was Burning Man. That tool would leave just blank pictures of dirt.
I just want to clarify that I do not own a copy of Photoshop. I do not own a camera either or I have ever borrowed one. My phone’s camera broke down years ago and was never repaired.
I am also invisible, so any pictures of me you may see out there are just a product of your imagination.
Oh, and in case you are wondering, I am not pregnant either.
I’d like to add that if I DID own a camera it’d be a Canon and it’d be “cheap”, and also if I DID own photoshop I’d never use it on anything, ever.
“And fourth, I don’t have a d0nkey.
~Richard Brayswhores Haynes
The way she makes her excuses are just so telling – telling that’s she’s obviously lying, that is. I mean, we all know it anyway, but let’s have a look.
1) Deny. DENY. EMPHATICALLY DENY!
2) Details, details, details. (Cheap Canon camera! As if that makes it impossible to Photoshop something?)
3) A little bitta parsin’ the truth/legalese (I don’t even own photoshop!! What’s a truck?)
4) Understanding. Understanding as to why it may look, to a jelly hator, like her photos were shopped (I DID use SOME tools and make SOME enhancements, OK, but it wasn’t on Photoshop! I don’t even own that!)
5) And, of course, the big tell – explaining when no explaining has been asked for.
6) And, for a bonus, her posting Nick Bilton’s album and praising the photography skills. Misdirection after the fact.
*on feet, clapping*
Awesome!!!!!!!!!
Bravo!
perfection.
Perfection.
Thank you, Blinky!
My marriage proposal to you is in the queue!
At your service, Brayella! Didn’t see your request until late-ish last night so threw this rush job together for you today between running errands at my desk.
::blows air kisses at the monitor::
DEAD
(only to resurrect and bow down to you, then…)
DEAD
Impeccable triumph. You have been killing it lately, but this is outstanding.
Now this, this is art.
Amaze Ball-z.
When Donkey finds an OBO, she’ll be plopping Little Devvy in his carrying case and and flying to Chicago to drop him at her parents’ house with Lilly. Save Little Devvy!
For fuck’s sake. There’s no clearer proof of her mental illness than her insistence on referring to her “coverage” of fashion week.
She knows that the last few years her crap hasn’t appeared anywhere. She knows that her friends know that. She knows that her haters know it. And yet she can’t stop herself from perpetuating the lie and in fact probably believing it a bit.
Donkey, you are NOT covering Fashion Week. You are attending it. Like thousands of other people. You are a spectator. Sure, you’re a fucking lunatic with a mic, a cameraman you are paying yourself and a fake NBC flag, but you’re still just a spectator.
Sociopath.
YES. Such a liar about this. So blatant.
Tonight is “Fashion’s Night Out.” You’d think she’d be here.
Oooh, oooh, I’m covering Fashion’s Night Out! LOL, which means I’m attending, hosting an unofficial happy hour, and might post pics on my blog.
Seriouf reporter here.
Totally, cause you know if she was covering it for real she would be namedropping the shit out of her assignment.
Jesus, I am so sick of this vapid cunt. I just want her to go away. I fucking can’t wait until she blows through her whole inheritance with Crabby O’Tool, and he leaves her. Her dumbshit parents better cut her off or she’ll never get a job!
Julia, you fucking clown, NOBODY pays you to “cover” Fashion Week! Worse yet, all your friends and family know it too, which is just straight-up delusional. The only person who doesn’t see through this fraud is your dumbass dreamboat boyfriend.
And for those who were asking, “dreamboat” should be interpreted as “no-balls wallet-chasing lemon-halving fuckwad”.
Crabby will bounce when tick-tock, her money runs out, TRUST.
She’s in love and people like you are all envious simpletons who are merely high on cheeto dust and EMPLOYED!!!
You know how her parents will be repaid for supporting her virtually her entire life? When they’re old and frail, she’ll dump them off with little brother. Which is exactly what they deserve for enabling this twat.
OBO’d bitches.
EXACTLY!
And when her parents die, I suspect her “little” brother will have her put in a home.
omg omg omg omg i just saw her at 80 yo at the supermarket
chubby little lady, veiny mottled arms and legs, white fishnets, white and gold high platform sneakers, pink tank top, short white skirt, yellow straw hair, blue blue blue eyeshadow, pink pink lipstick
Are you sure it wasn’t her????? Was she shouting into a pink iPhone????
That was Donkey’s younger sister you saw.
When I was a kid & worked for a grocery chain, I’d sometimes fill in at a sister store where there was an old bat who’d come in wearing a short, short polka dot pinafore w/ a biggo bow on it, white tights & shiny patent leather mary janes, + her steel wool hair would be in braided pig-tails w/ matching bows. She came to the store in a taxi to buy candy bars. It would be eerily quiet after she left.
Oh, & she carried a coin purse on a little chain that looked like it was part of a doll’s wardrobe.
She is destined to shop @ the “Rock & Roll Ralphs” on Sunset for the rest of her life.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rock%20%26%20Roll%20Ralphs
That image will give me nightmares for days. When I Was a kid working in a grocery store we had a pervy old man who would ask us gals to help him reaching for items on the top shelves. He would then lean in and press his extremely expired “sell by date” wiener against our backs. Ahh memories.
Awesome
Twilight Zone episode right there
She changed her relationship status today to “in a relationship with Devin Stetler on September 6th.”
I thought they’ve been in a relationship since Mess Assfaced wrapped? Trouble on the playa made up by a sandy blowie on the way back in the RV?
Before she just had “in a relationship”—she didn’t have a link to his FB.
Poor Twinkerbell.
I think he has to approve the link and looks like he finally got around to it. Not that she’d strong-arm anyone into doing that. (“I know you’re on FB right now!”) Or secretly record conversations. Or send a thundercunt email to the fiance of an ex-boyfriend who’s ignoring her. No, not our madam.
Oh, fuck. You’re right. The “I know you’re on Facebook” was her tantruming until he approved his e-masculation.
She has deleted all the tweets mentioned in this post: FB bf creeper, bailing early on BM, and NYFW tiaragate.
Hi Julia!! Thanks for reading!! Wouldn’t your time be better spent filling out job applications??
(PS: Screen caps people!)
Donkey: “Approve Facebook relationship. Now.”
Little Lord Donk Le Boy: “Julia, I don’t have any testicle left to give…”
Donkey: “I know you’re on Facebook!”
I very much appreciated e-masculation (and, obviously) EyeRoller’s moniker for The current Donkey handler.
Little Lord Donk Le Boy is awesome as well.
Oh sorz, I didn’t realize that was what Eye Roller came up with. Awesome either way!
The tiara at Fashion Week is on her FB page and was still up late this afternoon ET.
I’m imagining Donk, after likely being “No, but thank you”-ed by Camp Ideate, getting dressed and redressed, like a Sizzler salad bar on high noon Sundays, in her RV, alone, but for one Little Lord Donk Le Boy she forced to snap cheap Canon photos of her, interminably, prenant la posé. Shout out to m’chatte/chatpeeps out there!
She reshat shamelessness further out of her Donkhole when she renamed her own RV area and costume tent:
“JABA’s The Tutu Hut”.
“Little Lord Donk Le Boy”
Dead.
I couldn’t wait for Mr. Handbag to get home from work so I could tell him about Little Lord Donk le Boy. I even practiced it, so I wouldn’t mess it up. But I made the mistake of saying, “So this angel of god named EyeRoller joined the litterbox,” and he asked where you came from, and we talked about that for a minute, and then I tried to say it and FUCKED IT UP. I got through Little Lo — and started laughing and ruined it and now am overwhelmed with the self-loathing. I am never going to make it in standup.
I love you so much.
Standup needs, but doesn’t deserve, your elegance. Stay here!
OT but um… between the extreme fake boobage and the Flintstones vest, I’m not feeling this. But they seem really happy to be working together and to be rid of the “moron.”
Her boobs look great.
McFake boobs are sadly the new norm.
Preferably high up near the shoulders (see MMBH)
Not attractive, and she’s a lonely spinster forever.
Mine look like that (sitting high on the chest, spilling out) when I wear a push up bra. I know she has falsies, but I think she’s cute and has more potential to be happy than a donkey.
She’s merely annoying, not full-blown cuntarific.
Amy’s cute, but also super annoying and stupid. But she doesn’t broadcast it on social media and actually has a legitimate(?) occupation, so it automatically makes her 100000000x less annoying than donks. Though, her botox is very apparent, much more so than donk’s IMO.
Julia Allison shared a link.
7 hours ago near Los Angeles, CA.In a relationship, overweight and unhappy? READ THIS: http://thebreathtakingbride.com/bb-blog/bossypants
(cc: Michael Ellsberg & Jena la Flamme)
——-
Is Miss Julie gaining a sense of self awareness?!
Oh, man…I am so tempted to reply to that blog post.
don’t do it don’t do it save your keystrokes!!!
You’d do a much better job than I would. Ohpleaseohplease.
I have to save my energy to mock Donk’s upcoming gems. That said, I DID read that article that girl wrote and my favorite part was how she preaches about NOT being a bossy pants, and then proceeds to tell any bitch who’s reading what to do with their life AND HOW, when she needs to stop telling everybody to stop telling everybody else what to do, damn:
“So here’s what I want you to do:
Write down all the things that you’re being a bossy-pants about in your relationship, friendships and family.
Stop telling other people what to do, and focus all that energy on taking care of yourself.
Leave a comment below to pledge what you’re going to zip your lips about, and tell us how you’re going to take better care of yourself this week.”
Yeah, ok girlfriend.
Devonne Stutler.
STUT (@urbandictionary)
1. (n/v) Substitute for any swear word.
Today Rich was acting so immature and so we told him to go eat a stut as we left him to play with his beanie babies.
2. (verb) Going to note lobsters on runescape.
My inventory is full, anyone want to follow for a stut run?
3. (noun) an idiot
The guys were fishing this weekend and Joe brought along his brother-in-law. The guy was such a stut, telling us that we drank too much on the boat. We pushed him off.
Annnnd…here we go:
J. Valentine, Inc. @jvalentineinc
We were so happy that @JuliaAllison rocked our clubwear for Burning Man! She looked AMAZING!!! We can’t wait http://instagr.am/p/PPyDdLvj0d/
4:16 PM – 6 Sep 12
J. Valentine, Inc. @jvalentineinc
It was so cool to get a couple of quick pics from our awesome friend Julia Allison while at Burning Man. She… http://fb.me/x7eC3nAf
4:31 PM – 6 Sep 12
http://www.burningman.com/press/trademarks.html
Damnit! I don’t know what I want more: her being baninated from BM or more fauxtos next year.
GAH! Those pics! THAT’S what you want your young club sirens to look at before the come to you for clubwear??
Why not go straight to the source and hire Janice Dickinson? At least JD knows from smizing.
Whew, now THAT is rough!
If LackaSacka wasn’t gay before, THAT right the oughta do it.
“Can’t wait to see the other photos and read about her adventure at BM online…”
It’s in the queue!
CAN SHE DO ONE FUCKING THING WITHOUT BEING A STUPID SHILLING ASSHOLE ABOUT IT?
No.
” a couple of quick pics” and then they left
“I don’t own photoshop, but my fake gay boyfriend does. And he thinks I’m paying him to do everything I say.”
Also can someone pleeeease photoshop out the boots that make her look proportional because I keep covering them up with my thumb and it’s hiiiiilarious.
by the way, what the fuck does a rainbow have to do with fertility?!?!?! she has zero creativity.
Yeah, that was really fucking stupid.
When I think of rainbows I think of gallons and gallons of wasted sperm.
Random bitch: “Fashion is my obsession. Politics is just a pasttime. Any chance you can get this mom into Fashion Week? @juliaallison”
Donks: “@Chatonsworld – yes!!!!! Email me ASAP ja@JuliaAllison.com”
Oh no! She just leeked her personal email address to the twitter-verse! Bet soon she’ll be FLOODED with fan mail. Not.
I’d assume she just has every possible alias xxx@juliaallison.com forwarded to whatever she uses for her main account…
try donkey@juliaallison.com
woof
This one always lying and misrepresenting. She says she doesn’t have Photoshop, but there are dozens of programs that alter photos besides Photoshop. I’ve never had Photoshop, either, but there are at least three programs on my Dell that came standard with other programs to alter photos. Hell, I can photoshop with Paint. Also, square crotch. What is wrong with a grown woman that she lies about such small things?