Julia Allison Would Like To Let You Know That, Indeed, She Is Thin And Her Face Is Falling Off

“For those who were asking, my Burning Man photos were taken on a cheap Canon camera. None – NONE – not a SINGLE one – were photoshopped. (I don’t even own photoshop.) I *did* brighten them (using the Enhance tool in iPhoto), and sometimes I amped up the color using the color saturation boost to a 1, but that’s it. I find that the sun in the desert does most of the hard work of lighting the photo perfectly!”

Well, now you know, Nobody Who Asked! No dramatic digital enhancement was necessary to make Julia Allison look like a bat shit insane tranny Peter Pan. It was all her — and the demon that lives inside her that makes her body contort in humanly impossible ways.

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341 Responses to Julia Allison Would Like To Let You Know That, Indeed, She Is Thin And Her Face Is Falling Off

  1. hamster of hate says:

    Doesn’t “own” “photoshop”. That’s why they aren’t “photoshopped”. She uses whatever tools (heh) that came free with her Mac. And maybe a bit of Pixlr, which is free online. She stretches the hell out of these photos, which gives the guys toothpick ankles that look like they’re about to snap.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Yes, the legalese! PhotoShop is seriously expensive and the industry standard, so Adobe doesn’t need to give it to low-rent grifters. Donks may have a borrowed copy of PhotoShop Elements (stripped down basic version) or any number of freebie photo editing applications.

      • CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

        It’s really misrepresentation or lying or fraud, not legalese. Legalese is legal terminology, not telling lies or misleading folks.

    • Hunter Gorham says:

      As a professional photog who SLAYS IT…(gasp)…I taught her a few things…

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      I use iPhoto and it has a LOT of retouching tools now. Not just for adjusting lighting. She’s full of bullshit as usual.

  2. KrakenSkulls says:

    I wonder if that “cheap Canon camera” was one of the free ones she somehow got from an overly generous Canon for doing some shoutout one time on her sideways Tumblr blog.

    SOURCE: I have a Phd in Donk

  3. Dyspeptic says:

    jp I bow down to your incandescent outrage. Or scorn. Or whatever. Long may it burn, or simmer, or boil over ever so slowly.

  4. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    Come on – she had a box vagina. Look at the pic where she is sitting on the swing. Those doughy thighs are crammed so close close together she could start a fire. Then in other photos… all of a sudden her thighs are five feet apart as are her labia lips.

    Donkey, pro tip, when you shop out your huge wiener we know the pic has been tampered with.

  5. Dr. Gary says:

    Bull. Fucking. Shit.

    This is some ‘shopped cooter right here:

    [img]http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/7715/jacooter.jpg[/img]

    • Dr. Gary says:

      p.s. WHERE IS YOUR CAMEL TOE?

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Found it!

        [img]http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/9161/jacameltoe.png[/img]

        • Whitleymariongilbertwaynemeetsscarysadshaw says:

          She needs to Photoshop out that nasty ass skin tag.

          • I finally looked up what a skin tag was the other day because I was curious (had no idea what they were, I thought it might be referring to a botched plastic surgery job), and oh my Gregory House. Nastiness.

            In iPhoto, that skintag would have been really easy to take out. She could have used the blemish remover tool.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Video stills do not lie
        [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/260v2gh.png[/img]

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

          The fact that she was up until 3am makes me convinced she’s on something – hence the weight loss. If you come home after Burning Man – you sleep for a week – not stay up all night Googling yourself and talking to no one on Facebook.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      THIS DOES NOT EVEN MAKE ANATOMICAL SENSE.

      AT ALL!!!!!!!

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Leave it to our donkey to one up last years ass photo by making us blow up and examine her snatch.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      She also reduced the width of her thighs.

  6. mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

    No, really though, her right leg below the knee is confusing as all hell in this picture.

  7. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    “Schedule for the rest of September: Devin and I fly to SF on Friday to stay at Ben Way’s soon-to-be-legendary BRAVO house “The Villa,” then attend my high school debate partner Andrew Roin’s wedding that Saturday. Sunday at 6 am we fly to New York so I can cover Fashion Week for my 11th straight season … and on the 17th I fly to my parents’ home in Chicago to pick up Lillydog, who has been visiting her “grandparents” while I was “being irresponsible” (my parents’ term) at Burning Man. I offered to pay them to dog sit! They declined, preferring to choose the option of “hold it over daughter’s head” instead. Age 12 for life in my parents’ eyes.”

    Derek Stetler needs to get a job, Derek Stetler.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      When I’m dating someone, I want there to be a little mystery, not him towing around behind me snapping photos of me while I do my pretend job for my Vimeo account.

      This guy is a loser with a Pencil dick.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Wait. This is real??? I thought it was a *faux* Julie travel update. Lulz.

    • K_Swizz says:

      She sees her parents more often than I do, and mine live 20 minutes away.

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        This.

      • SirClompsAlot says:

        They make her pick up her check in person, so they can give her the “irresponsible” talking to first.

        She’s such a bitch for making fun of them for that on twitter.

      • JFA says:

        This. It’s called ‘get a fucking life.”

        Also, at least she admits she is a terrible dog owner. Holy shit. I have a dog sitter I pay lots of money for when I have the time/money to travel, which is pretty much never right now. Because guess what? Everyone in my life has their own dogs/lives/kids/responsibilities, and they wouldn’t do it nor would I expect them to watch my fucking dogs.

        She is a piece of shit human being.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Devin Stetler is acting like a fucking lapdog. Devin Stetler a/k/a Twinkerbell should be embarrassed to be boytoyed around the country like a Gregdamn accessory. If I were Devin Stetler, I would be embarrassed for my Devin Stetler self.

      Low interest rates, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Lady Gaga, lose weight, breast implants, Miss Advised, Devin Stetler, student loans, great sex, barely legal, The Avengers.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Also, she’s missing most of FW. Why even bother for so little time, and so few of the good shows?

      Her pairs of viewers on her Vimeo account will be so disappointed.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        her protege [Jordacted] is doing Fashion Week this year, and I’m sure will produce actual OMG content for her OMG actual sponsors for their sites (although, I mean, shilling for Timex watches is lame-O but, as Michael K. says, #getmoneybitch)

      • hamster of hate says:

        Her 11th straight season of coverage (of herself backstage) is also her 11th straight season of gatecrashing, front row seat poaching, and NOT GETTING PAID.

      • Fauxto of Dorian Bray (In Reverse) says:

        Oh, but she’ll be there for Juicy (stinky velour) Couture!

    • Dyspeptic says:

      wow, points to Robin and Peter, at least, for truth-telling, even if they caved.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Donkey, you are age 12 in EVERYONE’S eyes because of your ridiculous behavior!

    • Braya on da Playa says:

      “Age 12 for life in my parents’ eyes.”

      Wearing Adult sized Care Bear costumes, tiaras, tutus, and sleeping with teddy bears has no bearing on this, whatsoever.

      • hamster of hate says:

        Somehow, I don’t think her parents have to chastise her “baby” brother for acting like a thoughtless, bratty pre-teen.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      This guy is a real catch, huh? Travels around and crashes couches with her. Maybe she’s told him she can help him find a job?

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      her 73 point checklist could actually have been whittled down to just one item:
      1. he does not have a job so he can follow me around all day, every day.

      • Monika de Myer says:

        It’s my only requirement, too, and Hunter’s happy to let me dress him up in puka shells and pink hot pants.

    • Leased D-Class TaskRabbit "boyfriend" (Formerly Floppy) says:

      This bitch is going to be in my hood for the wedding. I will be on Bray patrol and by that hanging out at the douchiest joints in the neighborhood because that’s where she’ll probably end up “sipping” and yelling at her gay to get married.

  8. mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

    Okay, I know fuck all about photochop, and can barely use Gimp, but what explains the weird shadows/contours in photos like this, other than photochop?

    [img]http://oi45.tinypic.com/2cqffcg.jpg[/img]

  9. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    Julia Allison
    14 minutes ago near Los Angeles
    Who dares me to wear a tiara to Fashion Week?
    Like ·
    4 people like this.

    Steven Grossman Please don’t.
    8 minutes ago · Like · 1

    Her manager is so FUCKING over a Donkey.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      OMG! I want to see Steven Grossman and Derek Stetler in a room together!!!!!

    • hamster of hate says:

      Who DARES her? It’s not really a dare, is it, since she wears one more often than not. Yo, Donkzilla, I dare you NOT to wear a tiara, you dipshit.

    • JFA says:

      Oh god, her mania and self love is off the fucking charts. She really, honestly thinks a) she is cute and b) everyone notices and cares.

      No one cares! About your stupid fucking tutus, burning man vanity costumes, gay boyfriend, or fake FW coverage. Literally, zero people. She just never stops trying to make herself happen even though she is confronted with resounding boos and/or silence.

      Just because you got a decent looking moron with no balls to schtupp you doesn’t mean you are the shit. Just stop.

      • JFA says:

        Seriously this has been going on since, what, at least 2007? Haha, I love pink! Haha here is me eating a cupcake! Oh look at me, I’m such a card, I wear tiaras everywhere! oh here I am on television making a complete bunner boiler fool out of myself! Please love me and laugh!

        No.

  10. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    OT – BUNNY BOILER MOMENT!!!!!

    Julia Allison
    Subscribe · Yesterday via iPhoto

    Julia Allison ‎Devin Stetler, I know you’re on Facebook right now. ;-)
    3 hours ago · Like

  11. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    ulia Allison ‎Michael, I saw your photos from later in the week and am despondent I missed it. ;-) You channeled the Burning Man magic. xoxo
    27 minutes ago · Like

    So… as some suspected, looks like she might have been there for a photo op and then bailed, LOL.

    • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

      Good catch!

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      so her red costume, her yellow costume, her green costume, her rainbow costume, her pink costume, her white costume, her blue costume, and her care bear costume wear all worn in the span of one or two days?! did i miss any colors (bright)??!

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        AND she withheld her tweets and facebook updates until monday, even though she wasn’t actually at BM anymore??!

        • Mini Driver says:

          THE CONSPIRACY GOES SO DEEP

          DEEPER THAN JULIA ALLISON’S APPLICATION OF CHANEL FOUNDATION AND PRESSED POWDER

          AND THAT’S PRETTY DEEP

          YOU CAN SERIOUSLY STICK A THUMBTACK INTO HER FACE AND SHE CAN’T EVEN FEEL IT

  12. moonshinedonkey says:

    The pic description of Goat Soap, The Beard and Elmo?

    From FB:
    Julia Allison – We stumbled across this Elmo doll in Camp Mystic, and since he was the color of the day, he got to pose with us. ;-) — with Devin Stetler.
    Like · Share

    6 people like this.

    John Neffinger That’s Elmo, dear. Gonzo is this guy: http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/241888/The%2BGreat%2BGonzo.jpg
    Monday at 11:50pm · Like

    Julia Allison Errrr … oops? hahaha
    Tuesday at 12:18am · Like · 1

  13. Word Count says:

    This Photoshoopgate is pretty much like a 9/11 Truther campaign.

    Either the US government is good enough to pull off 9/11, or it’s too dumb to prevent it. Pick one and stick with it.

    Julia Allison, tech founder and journalist, is either smart enough to know how to do production-level photo editing or she’s too dumb to do anything right except ask Twitter for help on how to google.

    We’re analyzing shadows and gaps on overblown blocky chopping artifact filled jpegs for the existence of a Patterson bigfoot sighting when in reality it’s really just our heads playing tricks thinking there’s a messiah Jesus on french toast.

    Julia Allison is too stupid to use Photoshop. Frankly, I think she’s too stupid to even use iPhoto. Or even how to use a camera. A lot of her photos are just horrible even for amateur Facebooking status, they lack composition, they’re out of focus, they’re not interesting, they have shitty coloring. If these are what makes to “print” then imagine what she left on the cutting floor.

    Wait, scratch that, she doesn’t edit anything and holds nothing back, she essentially uses iPhoto to slurp out all the shitty photos and presses the Publish to Facebook button and calls it a day. Like a keyboard monkey.

    Please. Stop with the zooming in to her cameltoes and snatches. Stop with the photoshop conspiracies. Frankly the subject matters–wtf is up with her ghostface? wtf is up with wearing a tiara everywhere? wtf is up with her shitty costume choices?–is already scary enough.

    PS. I will concede that maybe she will stretch a photo vertically to create some forced perspective bullshit to elongate her body but to think this Georgetown political sci major is smart enough to get art is like believing a 2nd grader fingerpainting gets Picasso.

    • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

      She definitely used to do heavy airbrushing on her photos. Her skin looked like plastic. Now whether she did it or some unpaid intern… seems likely the latter.

      She really needs to stop trying to make the tiara happen. It’s not her Skinnygirl Martini.

    • darling dearest says:

      totally agree — her weight fluctuates, she wears weird clothes and she knows how to work her angles and contort her body like crazy.

      • fl00fy says:

        perfectly said

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        And she has a square crotch?

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          One square crotch & one prominent cheek …
          [img]http://i56.tinypic.com/qn34id.png[/img]

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            And no tittehs.

          • JFA says:

            Nothing says “professional” like “please take a picture of me in a terrible dress signing a ‘contract.'” If I ever do that in a professional setting…I just hope the nearest person puts me out of my misery like I deserve.

          • That cheek is so weird! It looks like a Jay Leno chin is growing out of the side of her face!

          • Helena (Sexy Baconface) says:

            Those things posing as eyelashes make me want to heave.

          • Mini Driver says:

            Everything aspect of this photo is subtly wrong. The aforementioned cheek. The view of far, far too much of her left breast. The fact that all her jewelry looks like it came out of a gumball machine. That strange orange cast on her arms, as if she’s sitting in a giant toaster oven. It’s like a Diane Arbus, you can’t stare at it too long without feeling unsettled.

    • Pescachickenarian says:

      I partially agree. However one reason the colors are rubbish, the framing is terrible and the composition lacks is because these are not factors in determining a good photo for her. It’s all about how she looks; how skinny and if it’s her “good side”.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Agreed, we overestimate the digital nip-tucking at times, the bitch does have a crazy waist and hips, but I also believe she skews the ratio with strange poses, cutlets, costumes, fillers, weight fluctation, and a true narcissist’s eye when tossing off photos of herself into the great wide open. Sneaky AND stupid.

  14. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    “Oh – and my theme – in case it wasn’t obvious – was Rainbow. Since the theme for Burning Man 2012 was Fertility 2.0, my interpretation of that theme was to dress as a symbol of life, the rainbow after the rain shower – in bright, solid colors, a different color every day. With a tiara! Next year maybe I’ll do hard core black reactionary Mad Max style. ;-)

    She *never* reads here.

  15. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    Aaaaand she’s uploaded a few more. Starting with some scenery shots NOT of her or the Ken doll — because, of course, she never reads here.

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/bb0d4325.jpg[/img]

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/518b3a06.jpg[/img]

  16. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/74e2cc02.jpg[/img]

    So much contorting.

  17. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/147ea1df.jpg[/img]

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/900eeaa8.jpg[/img]
    Nice port-a-potties.

  18. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/86c53c5e.jpg[/img]

  19. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/43c8fd7d.jpg[/img]

  20. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/5bf4730e.jpg[/img]

  21. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    [img]http://i1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/thesehooves/ca8f0163.jpg[/img]

  22. Scooby Don't says:

    Looking at her pictures two thoughts spring to mind.
    Burning Man looks whiter than any White Weekend I’ve ever seen.
    and do the initials of the event also stand for Burgeoning Melanoma?
    The whole gathering seems like a dermatologist’s wet dream. Scantily clad Caucasians under intense desert sun, many of them too messed up to remember to apply suntan lotion I’m sure is excellent for business!

  23. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    I have insomnia and I’m guessing Donkey does too, as she is talking to herself on the Facebooks.

    Julia Allison ‎Devin Stetler, I love that huge grin on your face.
    55 minutes ago · Like

    It’s 4:00am.

    • JFA says:

      Ugh, there is absolutely nothing worse than THAT couple, the one on FB who constantly posts pics of themselves with each other, has both profile pics of themselves with each other, constantly cooing all over each other in comments etc.

      You are 31. You are insufferable. Please stop.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      That huge, gummy grin with giant teeth is so cuuute, Devin Stetler. Your gums are soooo, erm….PINK! You match my room, bunny!!!!

  24. GrammaRian says:

    i don’t own photoshop

    i manipulate the hell out of photographic images in however many other editing programs i can borrow or steal

    clarified

  25. Lady Donk Donk says:

    What is the point of this fucking festival again? Now that gold digging Donk is going, it’s really over. I mean, she didn’t even make her costumes – the whole point is that it’s a creative art festival right?

    What does this woman do for a living again? Dad? Dad?

  26. idiotbox says:

    This is just creepy… and so telling she can’t just get in a fucking hammock and chill if people don’t see she’s chillin’ with a boy.
    http://vimeo.com/48939725

    • GrammaRian says:

      omg the feet handled by gloved hands

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

        The gloved hands ON THE BLOATED CORPSE TOES!!!!!!

        • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          The maw of this catlady loudly guffawing at the visual!!!!

        • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

          The bloated corpse toes with RAINBOW polish!

          Rainbows, rainbows, everywhere, haters, even on my sausage toes!

          BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

          (disappears into the desert braying maniacally)

        • Monika de Myer says:

          I thought I was watching a Dario Argento flick, The Donk with the Crystal Hooves!

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      Donkey, Pro tip, in some photos your boyfriend, Twinkerbell, almost passes for a man – but when you put him on video – he can’t hide his herp derp/gummy smile/more gay looking than a Tom Cruise impersonator in Weho on Halloween night.

      You feel me? Keep Devin Stetler in stills, not video.

      Hope that helps!

    • Braya on da Playa says:

      At the very last frame at 00:38 dude’s expression is like “how much longer do I have to fake hetero for this cunt”…

      • GrammaRian says:

        I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it

        • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

          +1

        • EyeRoller says:

          Donkey wouldn’t have a clue what you’re talking about there, which is why I give this comment a super sized “+” with a half twist.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          + ∞

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          I know you’re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone *Drops phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world … without you.

        • EyeRoller says:

          However, here’s a quote she might recognize:

          “You’re a spoiled, silly, boring, insignificant little twit.”

          –Fairy Godmother Stella Winston (as played flawlessly by Beverly D’Angelo, Maid To Order, 1987)

      • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

        I think he wanted to sing along too!

    • EyeRoller says:

      @idiotbox Why did you do this to me @ the beginning of a workday.

      A “Killing Me Hardly” mini lip dub!!! I can’t comment on this fully yet. It’s that bad.

      • GrammaRian says:

        still processing in the queue

      • EyeRoller says:

        Paging @Donkerena: Please report to the front desk where your dreams have come false. Didn’t you post last night that you were getting headfried on this boring creepshow? Well, it’s looks like the ol’ Donkey’s backed her ass out of her paddock and kicked up a cloud of new dust in your mug. Enjoy that vimeo clip and her new, very important photoshopping diatribe and travel itinierary/soliloquy.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      So gross and uncomfortable to watch.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      LOST & FOUND: LackaSacka’s sack be under his chin …
      [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/212xoh5.png[/img]

      • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

        Ooops!

        Looks like the BF has a bad case of chinballalitis.

        [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/2h64wwh.jpg[/img]

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Julia Allison’s fake plastic pelts are sooooo pretty!
      You can’t even tell, no breakage or stringy shit whatsoever!
      [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/14twy0n.png[/img]
      Nice 5:00 o’clock side burn shadows too!

      BONUS LAUGH: Captcha = “live life with purpose”

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Pssssttt!

      Anyone wanna bet LackaSacka is a Republican?
      [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/27wx8uf.png[/img]

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      He’s passed out from the toejam stench.

    • Don Quixote says:

      This is truly terrifying and I will have nightmares.

    • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

      Wow, he truly belongs in gay porn.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Here, I think LackaSacka is simultaneously trying to make a deal with the devil & to breathe through his mouth because D0nkey has her blowfeet in his face …
      [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/1j5l77.png[/img]

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Herp to the derp power.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Those hooves are SWOLLED. UP. Methinks she’d been standing in those Barbawronga space boots while eating nothing but potato chips and straight yeastballs FOR DAYS.

      • LOL says:

        if anything needs to be photoshopped, it’s those feet

      • Bulimia bloat with a side of bray says:

        My feet look like that at the end of the day.

        Of course, I’m 31 weeks pregnant.

      • mcakez says:

        I said this before, but I think those two were rollin’ deep on the playa.

        The way he moves his jaw back and forth/moves his tongue around in his mouth and kind of rolls his eyes around reminds me of someone on sort of speedy e. Or maybe he is really hungover and can’t figure out how to get away.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      This is so frightening to me. Is he turned on or repulsed by her Ham Slabs feet? I can’t tell!!

  27. LOL says:

    1. Wait a minute did someone ask her if her images were “photoshopped” and if so…who?
    2. The term “photoshop” (however inaccurate) is basically used by the masses for any picture editing software…so she probably didn’t use “photoshop” but some low rent version…
    3. This whole festival looks ridiculous…I can’t believe people are paying to do it…
    4. These images have totally been edited and by someone that’s needs a photo editing class.
    5. and even edited they still look bad…

  28. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Hey guys …

    Ever used BitTorrent to download a song? A book? How about a film or a TV show?

    It’s highly likely that within 3 hours of doing so, the copyright enforcement people were on to you, monitoring your IP address, according to new research.

    CONTINUE READING

    • KS says:

      You can change your IP by unplugging your cable modem for a few minutes and then powering it back on.

      If you are dedicated to a life of pirating movies though, I suggest you get a VPN and/or seedbox.

      • Gimme Pig of Love says:

        I like the phrase “dedicated to a life of pirating movies.”

        I envision flouncy shirts, eye-patches, unwashed hair, and swords are involved in such a life.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Yeah, no. I don’t know if a DSL modem is the same as a cable modem, but, doesn’t matter, I don’t need a work-around either way. I just found it interesting enough to pass on, since the occasional BT link is posted here.

  29. Natasha says:

    None “was” photoshopped. You’re welcome Jaba

    (n.b. I’m not one of those prescriptivists that insist “none” is always singular, but in this instance, since she went to the trouble to say “not a SINGLE one” — it should be “was”.)

  30. EyeRoller says:

    She could’ve used the “idiot removal” tool but it would’ve entirely erased her from the photos.

  31. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    I just want to clarify that I do not own a copy of Photoshop. I do not own a camera either or I have ever borrowed one. My phone’s camera broke down years ago and was never repaired.

    I am also invisible, so any pictures of me you may see out there are just a product of your imagination.

    Oh, and in case you are wondering, I am not pregnant either.

    • EyeRoller says:

      I’d like to add that if I DID own a camera it’d be a Canon and it’d be “cheap”, and also if I DID own photoshop I’d never use it on anything, ever.

    • CaptainGary` says:

      The way she makes her excuses are just so telling – telling that’s she’s obviously lying, that is. I mean, we all know it anyway, but let’s have a look.
      1) Deny. DENY. EMPHATICALLY DENY!
      2) Details, details, details. (Cheap Canon camera! As if that makes it impossible to Photoshop something?)
      3) A little bitta parsin’ the truth/legalese (I don’t even own photoshop!! What’s a truck?)
      4) Understanding. Understanding as to why it may look, to a jelly hator, like her photos were shopped (I DID use SOME tools and make SOME enhancements, OK, but it wasn’t on Photoshop! I don’t even own that!)
      5) And, of course, the big tell – explaining when no explaining has been asked for.
      6) And, for a bonus, her posting Nick Bilton’s album and praising the photography skills. Misdirection after the fact.

  32. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    [img]http://gickr.com/results3/anim_47b99936-0069-9aa4-4969-877bea7a8c5e.gif[/img]

  33. EyeRoller says:

    When Donkey finds an OBO, she’ll be plopping Little Devvy in his carrying case and and flying to Chicago to drop him at her parents’ house with Lilly. Save Little Devvy!

  34. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    For fuck’s sake. There’s no clearer proof of her mental illness than her insistence on referring to her “coverage” of fashion week.

    She knows that the last few years her crap hasn’t appeared anywhere. She knows that her friends know that. She knows that her haters know it. And yet she can’t stop herself from perpetuating the lie and in fact probably believing it a bit.

    Donkey, you are NOT covering Fashion Week. You are attending it. Like thousands of other people. You are a spectator. Sure, you’re a fucking lunatic with a mic, a cameraman you are paying yourself and a fake NBC flag, but you’re still just a spectator.

    Sociopath.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      YES. Such a liar about this. So blatant.

      Tonight is “Fashion’s Night Out.” You’d think she’d be here.

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      Totally, cause you know if she was covering it for real she would be namedropping the shit out of her assignment.

  35. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    Jesus, I am so sick of this vapid cunt. I just want her to go away. I fucking can’t wait until she blows through her whole inheritance with Crabby O’Tool, and he leaves her. Her dumbshit parents better cut her off or she’ll never get a job!

  36. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    Julia, you fucking clown, NOBODY pays you to “cover” Fashion Week! Worse yet, all your friends and family know it too, which is just straight-up delusional. The only person who doesn’t see through this fraud is your dumbass dreamboat boyfriend.

  37. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    And for those who were asking, “dreamboat” should be interpreted as “no-balls wallet-chasing lemon-halving fuckwad”.

  38. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    Crabby will bounce when tick-tock, her money runs out, TRUST.

    • EyeRoller says:

      She’s in love and people like you are all envious simpletons who are merely high on cheeto dust and EMPLOYED!!!

  39. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    You know how her parents will be repaid for supporting her virtually her entire life? When they’re old and frail, she’ll dump them off with little brother. Which is exactly what they deserve for enabling this twat.

    OBO’d bitches.

  40. GrammaRian says:

    omg omg omg omg i just saw her at 80 yo at the supermarket

    chubby little lady, veiny mottled arms and legs, white fishnets, white and gold high platform sneakers, pink tank top, short white skirt, yellow straw hair, blue blue blue eyeshadow, pink pink lipstick

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

      Are you sure it wasn’t her????? Was she shouting into a pink iPhone????

    • EyeRoller says:

      That was Donkey’s younger sister you saw.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      When I was a kid & worked for a grocery chain, I’d sometimes fill in at a sister store where there was an old bat who’d come in wearing a short, short polka dot pinafore w/ a biggo bow on it, white tights & shiny patent leather mary janes, + her steel wool hair would be in braided pig-tails w/ matching bows. She came to the store in a taxi to buy candy bars. It would be eerily quiet after she left.

  41. She changed her relationship status today to “in a relationship with Devin Stetler on September 6th.”

    I thought they’ve been in a relationship since Mess Assfaced wrapped? Trouble on the playa made up by a sandy blowie on the way back in the RV?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Before she just had “in a relationship”—she didn’t have a link to his FB.

      Poor Twinkerbell.

      • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

        I think he has to approve the link and looks like he finally got around to it. Not that she’d strong-arm anyone into doing that. (“I know you’re on FB right now!”) Or secretly record conversations. Or send a thundercunt email to the fiance of an ex-boyfriend who’s ignoring her. No, not our madam.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Oh, fuck. You’re right. The “I know you’re on Facebook” was her tantruming until he approved his e-masculation.

          • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

            She has deleted all the tweets mentioned in this post: FB bf creeper, bailing early on BM, and NYFW tiaragate.

            Hi Julia!! Thanks for reading!! Wouldn’t your time be better spent filling out job applications??

            (PS: Screen caps people!)

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Donkey: “Approve Facebook relationship. Now.”

            Little Lord Donk Le Boy: “Julia, I don’t have any testicle left to give…”

            Donkey: “I know you’re on Facebook!”

            I very much appreciated e-masculation (and, obviously) EyeRoller’s moniker for The current Donkey handler.

          • Helena (Sexy Baconface) says:

            Little Lord Donk Le Boy is awesome as well.

          • Helena (Sexy Baconface) says:

            Oh sorz, I didn’t realize that was what Eye Roller came up with. Awesome either way!

          • Greg says:

            The tiara at Fashion Week is on her FB page and was still up late this afternoon ET.

  42. EyeRoller says:

    I’m imagining Donk, after likely being “No, but thank you”-ed by Camp Ideate, getting dressed and redressed, like a Sizzler salad bar on high noon Sundays, in her RV, alone, but for one Little Lord Donk Le Boy she forced to snap cheap Canon photos of her, interminably, prenant la posé. Shout out to m’chatte/chatpeeps out there!

    She reshat shamelessness further out of her Donkhole when she renamed her own RV area and costume tent:

    “JABA’s The Tutu Hut”.

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      “Little Lord Donk Le Boy”

      Dead.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      I couldn’t wait for Mr. Handbag to get home from work so I could tell him about Little Lord Donk le Boy. I even practiced it, so I wouldn’t mess it up. But I made the mistake of saying, “So this angel of god named EyeRoller joined the litterbox,” and he asked where you came from, and we talked about that for a minute, and then I tried to say it and FUCKED IT UP. I got through Little Lo — and started laughing and ruined it and now am overwhelmed with the self-loathing. I am never going to make it in standup.

  43. Princess WideStance says:

    OT but um… between the extreme fake boobage and the Flintstones vest, I’m not feeling this. But they seem really happy to be working together and to be rid of the “moron.”

    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/dgmqzo.jpg[/img]

    • KS says:

      Her boobs look great.

      • Stinky Velour Couture says:

        McFake boobs are sadly the new norm.
        Preferably high up near the shoulders (see MMBH)
        Not attractive, and she’s a lonely spinster forever.

        • Mine look like that (sitting high on the chest, spilling out) when I wear a push up bra. I know she has falsies, but I think she’s cute and has more potential to be happy than a donkey.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            She’s merely annoying, not full-blown cuntarific.

          • Don Quixote says:

            Amy’s cute, but also super annoying and stupid. But she doesn’t broadcast it on social media and actually has a legitimate(?) occupation, so it automatically makes her 100000000x less annoying than donks. Though, her botox is very apparent, much more so than donk’s IMO.

  44. Prom Party Burnout says:

    Julia Allison shared a link.
    7 hours ago near Los Angeles, CA.In a relationship, overweight and unhappy? READ THIS: http://thebreathtakingbride.com/bb-blog/bossypants

    (cc: Michael Ellsberg & Jena la Flamme)
    ——-
    Is Miss Julie gaining a sense of self awareness?!

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Oh, man…I am so tempted to reply to that blog post.

      • EyeRoller says:

        don’t do it don’t do it save your keystrokes!!!

        • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

          You’d do a much better job than I would. Ohpleaseohplease.

          • EyeRoller says:

            I have to save my energy to mock Donk’s upcoming gems. That said, I DID read that article that girl wrote and my favorite part was how she preaches about NOT being a bossy pants, and then proceeds to tell any bitch who’s reading what to do with their life AND HOW, when she needs to stop telling everybody to stop telling everybody else what to do, damn:

            “So here’s what I want you to do:

            Write down all the things that you’re being a bossy-pants about in your relationship, friendships and family.

            Stop telling other people what to do, and focus all that energy on taking care of yourself.

            Leave a comment below to pledge what you’re going to zip your lips about, and tell us how you’re going to take better care of yourself this week.”

            Yeah, ok girlfriend.

  45. EyeRoller says:

    Devonne Stutler.

    STUT (@urbandictionary)
    1. (n/v) Substitute for any swear word.
    Today Rich was acting so immature and so we told him to go eat a stut as we left him to play with his beanie babies.

    2. (verb) Going to note lobsters on runescape.
    My inventory is full, anyone want to follow for a stut run?

    3. (noun) an idiot
    The guys were fishing this weekend and Joe brought along his brother-in-law. The guy was such a stut, telling us that we drank too much on the boat. We pushed him off.

  46. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Annnnd…here we go:

    J. Valentine, Inc. ‏@jvalentineinc
    We were so happy that @JuliaAllison rocked our clubwear for Burning Man! She looked AMAZING!!! We can’t wait http://instagr.am/p/PPyDdLvj0d/
    4:16 PM – 6 Sep 12

    J. Valentine, Inc. ‏@jvalentineinc
    It was so cool to get a couple of quick pics from our awesome friend Julia Allison while at Burning Man. She… http://fb.me/x7eC3nAf
    4:31 PM – 6 Sep 12

  47. 11th Wang says:

    “I don’t own photoshop, but my fake gay boyfriend does. And he thinks I’m paying him to do everything I say.”

    Also can someone pleeeease photoshop out the boots that make her look proportional because I keep covering them up with my thumb and it’s hiiiiilarious.

  48. Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

    by the way, what the fuck does a rainbow have to do with fertility?!?!?! she has zero creativity.

  49. Don Quixote says:

    Random bitch: “Fashion is my obsession. Politics is just a pasttime. Any chance you can get this mom into Fashion Week? @juliaallison”

    Donks: “@Chatonsworld – yes!!!!! Email me ASAP ja@JuliaAllison.com

    Oh no! She just leeked her personal email address to the twitter-verse! Bet soon she’ll be FLOODED with fan mail. Not.

  50. idiotbox says:

    woof [img]http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/270655_10151128671339528_59309724_n.jpg[/img]

  51. CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

    This one always lying and misrepresenting. She says she doesn’t have Photoshop, but there are dozens of programs that alter photos besides Photoshop. I’ve never had Photoshop, either, but there are at least three programs on my Dell that came standard with other programs to alter photos. Hell, I can photoshop with Paint. Also, square crotch. What is wrong with a grown woman that she lies about such small things?

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