Donk Goes Quiet At Burning Man In Dust-Filled Tent, So Open Thread, Haters

Have at it!

But never forget this profound, life-changing experience from a year ago that caused her to go off the grid for days, only to go immediately back on the grid to post eight billion “look at my hot ass” photos of herself.

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529 Responses to Donk Goes Quiet At Burning Man In Dust-Filled Tent, So Open Thread, Haters

  1. (yes, she was one) says:

    Peter and Robin Baugher must be so proud.

  2. Albie Quirky says:

    Reposting the PandoDaily snark on Burning Man, and on “social media wankers”. I hate PandoDaily, but even the stopped clock is right twice a day.

    (In the second article, Scoble is mentioned! A blast from the past for long-time Donkologists.)

    • Albie Quirky says:

      This bit is Julie Albertson to a tee:

      The smanker is like that kid after he’s been kicked out of regular high school and into adult education. At the remedial school, he actually seems popular, because they’re all rejects. But if you’re a brand using him to create influence, you’re basically going to influence a bunch of losers whose future of minimum wage jobs make them incapable of paying for your product.

      CHEESY SKILLETS AND FLIMSY TUTUS FOREVER!

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        It’s like the definition of smanker is a portrait of JABs, which leads me to the horrifying conclusion that THERE ARE MORE OF HER.

        There are more of her, Albie?!?

  3. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Oh Hairballs everybunny its ME RollsAroundintheDirt! Well I am at Branding Man out in the dessert which is very sandy and has grit blowing most places (into my eyes for one) (also vagina) (haha) and is also very dry becauz = no wetness. There is no judgement in Black Cock City and there is also no air conditioner (haha). Last year when I thought about coming out here I alsmot rented a big RV with a bathtub and water in it and then I thought “why bother?” and just went to Newport with some gays I found.

    But this year I decided to go, so first I e-mailed everyone the day before to see if anyone was going and I could hitch a ride and did they have room for my suitcases (they did not) and then I bought a plane ticket last minutes which was really expensive and then hired a cab from the airport to take my stuff out there to the middle of the dessert where WHOA! They have the big stick man from that one freaky movie from the 70s that my babysitter let me watch and I had nightmares like a gazillion times and could not even look at a grilled hot dog bun for LIKE ever!

    So there was lots of lint and also heat and the stick man thing made me feel like wigging out (I brought wigs too) (haha), and I was thinking maybe this was a bad idea and then I found out there is no hotel at burning man just lots of people living in big plastic bags called tentacles. They said it was called going camping which is bullshit, every gay I know told me it is wigs and a piano in a bar near Sheridan Square. So at least I had the wigs (haha).

    I walked around all day getting very hot and covered with little tiny pieces of dirt. There was no spa treatment or roller coaster or white tigers with gay friends like there is in that other dessert place with flames. Just a bunch of hippiesters with fewer and fewer clothes on until guess what = stark naked. Ew. I so do not need to see this. Plus I was wondering where the bathroom was and there isn’t. I guess they all just hold it in the whole time they are here which seems like a waste because maybe plants could use a drink what with this being the dessert and all.

    So next year it is all Newport all gays all peeing in a room with pipes and light bulbs in it all the time (haha).

    Whooops my wigs blew off.

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Hate to break it to D0nkey, but that deflated mass is not a ‘hot’ ass.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Whenever I see that picture, I remember that I have to buy some cottage cheese. Works every damn time.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      My bottom is saggy like that (my huscat loyally shouts “no!”) and I am a soon-to-be-48-year-old lady who wears a nice comfortable Speedo tank suit on the beach and sometimes board shorts, too.

      Because all human bodies are beautiful in the moral sense, but not so much in the photogenic sense.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Butts just shouldn’t be out in public. Not even perky, toned ones.

        • Pretty much. My BF sez I have a nice donk (hmm, can I still use that slang word after spending months here reading? probably better not, guess I’ll go with booty) bum, but I’d never ask him to take a picture of me posing in a swimsuit with it sticking out.

          If I ever did ask someone to take a pic of my bare ass, it would be so I could look back as an old lady and admire how firm I once was… not put it on Facebook. That just screams “DESPERATE FOR ANY KIND OF ATTENTION, EVEN NEGATIVE ATTENTION MOCKING MY SAGGY ASS”

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            What’s funny is that she bills her Gawker underwear shoot as “I was young. I made mistakes!” but she is posing as Angel Asscheeks in her 30s, um ok.

          • mule on rouge says:

            She’s come a short way, baby.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      A to the-muther-effin-men! I’ve seen less cheese on a pizza.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      It is a testament to her enormous ego that she was actually proud of that shot. She has reverse body dysmorphia.

      Also, I’d had two kids at 31 and my ass looked a lot better than that. That would be impressive if she was 52. Not so impressive on a young woman who has all the time in the world to go to the gym a few times a week.

      I just say.

      Meow.

  5. Top Donkey says:

    Not the biggest Pando Daily fan but this guy nails it! http://pandodaily.com/2012/08/28/why-i-dont-worry-about-missing-burning-man/ And, he’s diagnosed Donks Smanker! http://pandodaily.com/2012/07/03/you-might-be-a-smanker-if/

  6. It floats! It floats! says:

    So gross. She must have a very distorted view of herself if she’s proud of that.

  7. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    here’s hoping for some new herp derp!

    [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/357oay8.jpg[/img]

    PS. Cuntbunnies, catladybasement is gone?!

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Flee, Mr. Blue Wife-beater, flee, flee!

    • Malformed Face says:

      My fav pic was her lying naked with some guy looking post orgasm and her posting that on FB and then quickly shitting herself and taking it down. She looked like suck a fucking tool.

      Now to know someone was paid $1750 (or charged but not paid) to wipe her Princess ass really makes me LOL.

    • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

      this one’s up there with “fauxga” as one of my favorite Donkey photographs.

      • Grammarian says:

        nothing will ever be better than fauxga

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Easter Whore and Cheap See-Thru Black Top she wore on New Year’s Eve with Jack McCain (and memorialized in the wallpaper on the right side of this) come pretty close.

          • bitchface says:

            who are you? Why is Eyeroller saying you have memories of stuff from over a year ago? I thought you were new – did you change your name?
            /drunk /stoned /confused

          • mule on rouge says:

            That giant padded bra under the see-thru top makes me lol every time. I bet it looked even more hilarious from the back, with a double-hook closure and the tag hanging out. What a clueless fucktard.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Bitchface, I’ve been in and out with various names over time.

            Mule, you know that the back view also includes a bra band extender. That way she can insist that she buys smaller (in the band) bras!

          • EyeRoller says:

            @bitchface– @neferteeri was just filling me in on that photo incident of Donk on her back in a feather-bra from last year’s BM, since I wasn’t around back then. I was simply and jokingly thanking her for recalling that painful memory so that I could be brought up to speed, not implying she was actually at the event.

      • Total Jing says:

        Oh, Pelts. Fauxga will always be my fave.

        ARABESQUE = Sun Salutation

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          The fake MIT lectern shot was also a classic. And the photo of her eating pizza with undergrads and twisting herself around so that only her “good side” was showing. I might have laughed harder at that Donk photo than any other.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Ask 50 RDBers for their favorite Laugh At Donk photo, and it’s quite possible that there will be 50 different pics chosen.

    • CUNTBunnies! says:

      Prof FC: Ya, probably. Stupid unemployment isn’t enough to pay my cat food bills and stuff, so non-essentials have to go.

      :(

  8. The Tortuous and the Hair says:

    Q. How can someone who was so offended that she walked out of the Broadway show “Hair” because of the *gasp* nudity be such a big fan of Burning Man? I’m genuinely curious.

  9. She sucks. Sucks sucks sucks.

    I hope she gets stopped at the gates for last year’s non-payment and has to turn back to LA with her 5,000 promotional tutus. If she does make it through, I ‘m sure the entirety of Camp Ideate will be shaking their heads at the sheer obnoxiousness.

    [img]https://p.twimg.com/A1WfiCqCAAAJ1GA.jpg:large[/img]

  10. Lady Donk Donk says:

    The OMG bf is gonna go the way I the do-do bird. Guaranteed

  11. EyeRoller says:

    Prof. F! So that blue muscle shirted guy in the “post-coital” photo (Nick Bilton)– (http://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/09/06/the-whole-nick-bilton-thing/)
    is the SAME GUY running through the side/background of the infamous “Desert Dumbass Air-Swims in Green Tutu” photo so many know and love to loathe (posted earlier in this thread btw)??? I have a lot to learn.

    Also, BEFORE seeing that legendary green tutu photo, I was not aware that the CIA funds underground genetic experiments where they harvest and microwave together the DNA of Kermit the Frog, Jerry Garcia, Kristen Johnston, and a gallon of Godzeera’s chode sweat. Wah lah! Burning Man Donkey.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      and the result is “Kermit the Frog’s deranged princess sister”, as Donks described it. sadly, the videos of her dancing have gone private. but everything on this post pretty much describes it.

  12. Donk. Donk. Who's There? says:

    Ok so maybe this has been discussed, forgive me if it has…. Burning man is my worst nightmare, completely contrary to anything I’d find enjoyable so I know nothing about it and couldn’t give two shits really… BUT… Is it normal to spend so much time and money on costumes and then to take a bazillion pics of yourself? I’m not trying to be an asshole, I’m genuinely curious.

    She’s more insufferable than usual, lately.

    • my parents almost named me TYRA says:

      As someone who was forced to attend Burning Man twice for work, I can wholeheartedly say that the answer to your question is YES.

      Greg, I hated it there. I need to leave this site now before my dust-booger/techno music PTSD starts up again.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        for work…? do tell!

        • my parents almost named me TYRA says:

          I worked for a company that was contracted to work onsite at Burning Man; we also provided customer service to Burning Man patrons throughout the year, so I was communicating with Burners constantly. Many of them are like Donks – kind of stuck in their youth and looking for a place where they can both seek attention and feel all spiritual when large items get set on fire. Burning Man is this place.

          It’s pretty much Disneyland for people on ecstasy. I quit my Burning Man-related job immediately upon returning from BM the second time. I refused to go through what I was forced to go through there again.

          The company I worked for was extremely sexist, to the point where the company rented an RV for each of our male employees to live in out there, while they would not even pay for my TENT. I had to buy my own crappy $20 tent while the male employees took showers in their own fancy RVs. We were out there for 3 weeks, during which time I did not shower once and slept in a sleeping bag on hard playa.

          I was also forced to cover for my boss and coworkers while they did drugs the entire time they were out there. Every morning, we had an 8 am meeting with the Burning Man organizers, and every night, my boss told me that I had to show up to that meeting because he planned to “rage” that night. The president of our company would disappear for days on end, leaving us freaking out, and then reappear after some bender on acid with no explanation or apology.

          I looked forward to going to Burning Man because I thought it could be a spiritual nature experience or something. Yeah, no. You’re literally fenced into an area, and they have radar set up along the perimeters to catch any person who tries to escape or enter the confines of the event. You’re also completely cramped within the city itself, so that you’re practically sleeping on top of frat guys you don’t know. Techno music is blasting literally 24 hours a day. I listened to techno every second of every day for 3 weeks straight.

          I’m going to end this rant here because a lot of my displeasure stems from the way I was treated as an employee while onsite at the event. I take comfort from the fact that my boss got crabs from some hippie chick he slept with at BM. I also take comfort from the fact that I have a new job now.

        • my parents almost named me TYRA says:

          Also, this is terrible for me to do, but I fucking hate my ex-company, so. Somehow they were stupid enough to not delete my admin access to their site after I quit.

          I just logged in and searched for Donks. Looks like she and an unknown companion showed up to the event last Sunday night. It appears that she paid for her own tickets, and thus was not comped them. Duh.

          That’s about all the information I can share.

  13. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    Ecco Donko

    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/2epsm8n.png[/img]

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Lulzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • Mom in a Minivan says:

      Brilliant! I seriously cannot stop laughing.

    • secret fail says:

      Great improvement.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Are those really her hands? They look like man hands. There is nothing about her that is delicate or lady like, I guess that’s why she tries so hard with tiaras.

      • mule on rouge says:

        On the subject of hands, I am waiting with breath duly bated for a photo of Julia’s hand, tattoo side up and holding a pink sharpie, next to the deeply moving tribute to Granny that (which?) she scrawled on the temple. No doubt Jules packed a mourning tutu.

    • Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

      Holy crap! A perfect metaphor for restoring her face and resulting in a botched job.

    • Grammarian says:

      how is that outfit supposed to be worn? is it supposed to be covering the butt? genuinely curious.

      a sad example of reverse body dysmorphia: showing off what looks like crap and thinking it looks great.

      if you look like crap and you’re proud and you say, hey, i look like crap and i’m proud, rock on.

      but if you look like crap and you think you don’t, that’s, what, clinical?

      • Don Quixote says:

        I agree. It looks like she either got those bottoms 30 sizes too small, or she hiked them up super high because she wanted to show off what she believes to be a “hot ass.” But I thoroughly beg to differ.

        In fact, the picture makes me feel better about my own ass. If she thinks her caboose is sexy in that picture, let alone at all, mine really can’t be that bad.

      • melting marionette says:

        maybe she put it on backwards.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      i didn’t know dr. bobby was into restoring frescoes in his spare time.

    • Hunter Gorham says:

      Awesome!

  14. Stinky Velour Couture says:

    I think there is something really OFF about Julia trying to be a burner…..
    she’s not into camping “Fuck Camping”, or grit & grime of dusty playa.
    It just doesn’t add up for me. Julie sitting in the a/c’d RV with Ex-Mrs. Richie Pants
    last year I could understand, and SEE the Julie with make-up and not a speck of dust.

    Could she be driving into the playa for 2-hour FAUX-toe sessions? from some grim No-Tell Moe-Tel nearby?

    • mule on rouge says:

      She’s there because she likes to shop for tutus, and to tweet about shopping for tutus, and to wear tutus, and for people to see her wearing tutus, and to post Facebook albums of herself wearing tutus, etc., to infinity. She’s really deep.

  15. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    I happened to catch the weather report on BMIR — windy, with frequent white-outs lasting 10 minutes or more (the weather guy helpfully added, “the dust devils we see out there are common on Mars”). Julia must be a delight to shelter with: whining on her back while her tutu mountain turns into tumbleweeds.

    • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

      From just a minute or so ago.
      [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/259frbk.jpg[/img]

      • (yes, she was one) says:

        Loving this so hard.

      • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

        Yes, I tuned in this afternoon to see some art cars and it was much the same. The cam was shaking in the wind and visibility was sporadic.

        I’m sure Donks saw herself holding court in her RV bestowing tutus on smiling tech founders. Last year’s clear weather did nothing to prepare her for this. If her tent is even still standing it is full of dust.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        I am also loving it. kinda hard to run around like a pretty pretty tutu princess in a white out.

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

        What’s the forecast for the area? I tried to find out via weather.com but Black Rock Desert, NV doesn’t register on their site.

        Good luck getting the sand out of every article of clothing. You cannot wash that stuff away. She will be encountering for years. Sand = cat fur.

          • Malformed Face says:

            This Afternoon: Areas of blowing dust. Sunny, with a high near 88. Southwest wind around 10 mph.
            Tonight: Areas of blowing dust before 11pm. Clear, with a low around 53. West wind 5 to 15 mph.
            Thursday: Areas of smoke after 2pm. Areas of blowing dust after 2pm. Sunny, with a high near 89. Southwest wind 5 to 10 mph, with gusts as high as 20 mph.
            Thursday Night: Areas of smoke before 11pm. Areas of blowing dust before 11pm. Mostly clear, with a low around 57. West wind 10 to 15 mph decreasing to 5 to 10 mph in the evening. Winds could gust as high as 25 mph.

            SOUNDS FUN!

  16. bitchface says:

    can you imagine her pelts at this place? ewwwwwwwwwwwww

  17. A Donkey is an Ass says:

    Anyone think Donkey is frantically changing whore costumes and snapping fauxtos so she can bail?

    I can just see her leaving because of the weather/lack of RV and trying to play it off as though she stayed the whole time. Maybe slip in some fauxtos from last year to bump up her number.

  18. mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

    So I’ve taken some heat for gushing about Burning Man (and the ‘spirit of’) in the past, so I figure I will use this open post to drop some TL;DR versions of some of my weirdest/most fucked up moments on the playa.

    1. My first year at the Burn, I was super drunk one night, met a chap who seemed okay at first, but soon learned he was what is called a ‘Yahoo’ (someone who just comes for the party) up from Reno on a weekend warrior party adventure. After he fucked up my name a few times and tried to ‘kiss rape’ me, I said good night and walked back — alone — to my tent to get away. I turned back just as I got there and saw him following me. I padded around our communal area to grab water and a book, stumbled into my tent, and heard someone stumbling around outside. I began to panic. I then heard someone fidgeting at my tent door, someone else say, “Shit,” and take off running from the communal area. My tentmate stumbled in and asked, “Dude, who was that stumbling outside?” Lesson learned: Rape does take place at Burning Man.

    2. I’ve had three different occasions where I passed out alone in my communal camp area and woken up to dudes (twice a campsite mate, once not, all creepy) ‘cuddling’ me. Lesson learned: Do not fall asleep in communal areas.

    3. Someone once stole my bike in the middle of the night. Dicks.

    4. Someone once cut the gas line on our art car, polluting the desert, and also requiring that we get an assisted tow out.

    5. At night — when inebriation is at its highest — it is not uncommon to find that the ‘Leave No Trace’ rule has flown out the window under the ‘burden’ of convenience, as people frequently throw garbage and red plastic disposable cups on the floor, or wedge them against the wall.

    6. The more drugs people do at night, the less likely they are to help clean up in the days following. I once camped with a bunch of dudes (mostly virgins) who just threw shit about willy-nilly to be collected by camp mates, or blow away in the wind. That was the one and only time I camped with them.

    7. I once almost got ran over by someone driving around the playa at night in an undecorated SUV. This is more common than you’d imagine. After just missing me walking, they clipped a person on a bike and sped off. The biker required emergency assistance.

    8. Feathers and glitter are fairly common, as much as people are repeatedly told not to bring them. Julia isn’t alone in this assholeishness.

    9. Come the last day, many people dump unevaporated ‘grey water’ on the playa, because they didn’t plan correctly for how much waste would evaporate over the week.

    10. If people don’t plan evap-pools, they frequently just dump in those of their neighbors. One year we witnessed people doing this in our pool, and as a result we had to haul out about eight bottles of gray water because it didn’t evaporate.

    11. We once found a turd floating in our evap pool.

    12. There IS judgment in BRC.

    I have more examples, but the week might be long, so I will try to save some ‘bad Burn’ examples, if anyone cares to continue the BM hate train.

    • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

      Eep. #5 should say, “Thrown on the floor of the port-o-potties.” Some people treat them as a trashcan at night. It sucks.

      Speaking of Port-o-Pottie etiquette, Julia’s picture of her Wal-Mart cart showed multiple packs of toilet paper among her purchases. Port-o-Potties can ONLY use a specific type of toilet paper, and there are signs posted everywhere NOT to use regular toilet paper. The paper used in the John’s is an easily processed, biodegradable type, as it has to be sucked out through a hose a couple times a day. People who throw trash/sanitary napkins/baby wipes/regular toilet paper into the Johnny-on-the-Spot’s cause a blockage in the removal hoses, leading to slowdowns in cleaning, or even major clogs that can cause cleaning malfunctions.

      There are signs ALL OVER the toilets saying not to throw regular toilet paper in (we always brought a pack of the one-ply marine toilet kind, and if a babywipe was used we folded it up and took it back to camp to be disposed of). Something tells me pretty princess Julesie baby wipes and throws, leading to the number one cause of toilet cleaning blockage.

      Asshole.

      • Can-Swiss says:

        I feel like this would have been cool back when it was maybe a few thousand people. Now, it’s just like a giant temporary refugee camp for douchebags.

        • Jelly Roll says:

          It does sound like something that would’ve been really cool about 10 years ago. I’m a little sad I missed it (there’s no way I’d want to be at the modern version). Great stories mcakez! Keep ‘em coming.

        • virgil reid says:

          i think these are my thoughts about it as well. i know a lot of people going and i don’t even know a lot of people.

      • Random Snowflake says:

        Julie is a thoughtless bitch. The rules do not apply to her.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      #6 –> fuck camping with virgins!

      (sorry, but) based on your stories (and what i’ve seen/read), it sounds like burning man sucks. (as in, the utopia does not manifest and it’s mostly an excuse for people to be sanctimonious hypocrites.) i’m kind of surprised that burners continue to perpetuate this myth of ‘leaving nothing behind.’ i mean, it’s hardly eco-friendly to even get to the desert (flying, driving long distances), let alone all the burning that happens there, plus dumping of water, trash, and other MOOP. anyway, i know i’ll never ‘get it’ because i hate most people and happiness. and dirt, i hate dirt. :P

      • mule on rouge says:

        My idea of utopia doesn’t include 50,000 people. Seems like the massive crowds have trampled the original spirit of community.

      • Grammarian says:

        fuck camping

      • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

        Professor, I agree with you 100%.

        And cakez, having someone fumble around your tent opening (non-euphemistically) hardly counts as rape. Bitch please.

        • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

          I don’t think she was claiming to have been raped, just stating that it does happen there and maybe she had a close call. If you google rape at burning man you will find that it has happened and it is a real risk there.

        • Grammarian says:

          someone trying to break and enter is scary as hell.

        • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

          I’m just saying, it’s a bit of a leap.

          • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

            Nobody but you is saying it.

          • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

            eat shit.

          • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

            In other words, I don’t care if nobody but me is saying it. I still believe it. She tells a story about some dude galumphing around her tent and ends it with “RAPE IS REAL KIDS”…. it’s moronic. I don’t give a shit if nobody agrees. I am still going to call it like I see it.

            Nobody gives a shit about how drunnnnnnnk anyone was and OMGPASSEDOUT and SURPRISE CUDDLING.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Surprise Cuddling would make an excellent screen name. Or band name.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Whenever I see “would be a good name for a band” I always think of Dave Barry.

          • Leave the cannoli take the donk says:

            Maybe the way she explained it wasn’t suitable to you but who are you to say when someone felt they were threatened or not? Sounds like an intimidating situtation to me.

        • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

          Hah! I was not intending to imply that what happened to me was rape. I wasn’t trying to ‘I WAS INSIDE!!!! (the tent!)’ I am very aware that what happened was just something I considered a little freaky/possibly a close call/a lesson learned, and, related, ‘hippie paradise’ has scumbag rapists just like the real world. I haven’t read anything about it recently, and the last time I attended the Burn there were, I think, around 35k participants. Even then, though, I remember reading (probably in Piss Clear, a daily newspaper printed and passed out every day at the Burn) that there were over 100+! reported cases of rape on the playa the year before.

          It’s one of those ugly things Burners hate to think about or admit, but it happens, just like it happens anywhere. I was just pointing out that it is one of the dark truths despite the whole ‘positivity and light-filled, find yourself adventure yada yada woo woo’ stuff.

          “fumble around your tent opening” is a great euphemism, though, and I am going to have to try and include it in future discussions of awkward sex.

          • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

            thank you cakez. I appreciate your response.

            I’ve been to a couple rainbow gatherings and there was rape there too despite the possibly-even-more-sanctimonious-than-Burning-Man ostensibly peaceful theoretical [help i’m lost in an adjective forest and cannot finish this sentence] philosophy.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant IS NOT PREGNANT says:

        Yes. Only Americans would think traveling thousands of miles into the middle of nowhere to not get away from people is environmentally friendly.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      mcakez, do you remember Glitter Camp?

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Yeah, I still don’t get it.

    • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

      Thanks for sharing this and your previous gushings. I love reading first hand accounts of Burning Man (and all the weird shit about everything from supplies to sex and personal hygiene at BM). I have quite a few friends that are very genuine burners, but also some who are the “yahoo,” just-there-for-the-party types… including a few who will be spending time with JAB I’m sure (when did all the tech bloggers start going, btw? Alexia, Nick Bilton, etc). I hope you’ll share more of the “most fucked up moments on the playa” — good and bad :)

      And to Prof’s point — shouldn’t everyone walk there or something? Like a real pilgrimage? It really seems like all the driving, flying, and Amazon Prime overnighting of costume supplies outweighs any attempt at leaving no trace or being eco-friendly.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Sounds like it’s all about giving the appearance of being eco-friendly and all that, but really sounds like a major clusterfuck.

        • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

          Plus for all the ecofriendliness claims, it seems like such a huge waste of money and resources. Many of the art installations commissioned just get destroyed at the end. One year there was a gigantic wooden Adirondack style chair on a large wooden deck that they burned at the end. There was probably enough wood in that to frame a small house.

          • Burning Man: Yuppies in the desert pretending to “find themselves” by not buying into corporate culture for a long weekend and burning materials that could have been better used at Habitat for Humanity.

            It’s the “exclusivity” aspect that draws those types, I guess. The fact that not everyone can shell out $800 or whatever it is for a ticket.

          • JFA says:

            These seem like just some of the absolute worst people on earth. Full stop. I would kill myself if i had to be there even a few hours. College is over, people. Get over it.

          • JFA says:

            Like I still don’t even know what burning man is. is it a music festival? Or just a bunch of really emotionally stunted unoriginal people being even more annoying than they are in day to day real life?

            In short, not surprising she thinks this is the best thing ever, as she has the worst taste of almost anyone I have ever encountered, in everything.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Yeah, to be sooooo eco-conscious, they sure do add a helluva lot of unnecessary smoke to the earth’s already-polluted atmosphere …

          • EyeRoller says:

            What a selfless event, all culminating in a massive, ritualistic first world bonfire.

        • Donkarena says:

          I recall being in some major city around the time of “Earth Day” several different times — OH the MESS — we laughed about the irony. To quote Seinfeld, “PEOPLE, they’re the WORST — using the world as their own personal garbage can!”

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      /barfs

  19. mule on rouge says:

    I really hope poor (ailing?) Lilly was left behind in Chicago. Or did Donkey foist her off on Mr. Nice Guy? (Check the collar and dog toys for spy cams and recording devices, GoatBoy.)

  20. Jelly Roll says:

    http://thebravobitch.blogspot.com/2012/08/truly-julia.html
    “Then producers came to me in the early fall of 2010 and asked me to do a casting tape for a show featuring dating experts. At the time I said I wasn’t interested because I was starting a nationally syndicated technology column. ”

    It is to laugh.

    • Jelly Roll says:

      Dear Greg – I hadn’t even gotten to this part:
      “In the past, when I feel the man has to know me as a person first, I’ve just told him my first name and that I’m a journalist. After they get to know me, they understand that everything posted about or from me needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I think it works better for women to not expose all of your information too soon anyway. I also think everyone has to worry about Facebook these days. Watch out for things like posting ridiculous pictures, really. Facebook is the easiest to control because you’re putting that information up there yourself!”

      It is to laugh even harder in light of the post coital pic #neverforgets

      • JFA says:

        “Facebook is the easiest to control because you’re putting that information up there yourself!”

        Deep thoughts. Thanks, Captian Obvious. Georgetown university grad right there. What a pea brain.

        • Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

          No, no you’re not in control. Most of the shit posted on Facebook is not in my control and I want to scream “QUIT TAGGING ME IN DRUNK PHOTOS, YOU ASSHOLE!” Untag. Unfriend. Fucks sake.

    • Grammarian says:

      I used to read things like that and believe them. That was a long time ago. #neveragain

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Now she is referring to her time with JellyD as a dalliance! But I thought it was the greatest three month relationship the world has ever known?

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Lying liar lies again.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant IS NOT PREGNANT says:

      I love this: “There is certainly a side of me that people don’t see on the show – a side that is much more business-oriented.”

      • A Donkey is an Ass says:

        Attending grifter conferences does not make one “business-oriented”.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        “Before the big meeting”

        [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwz2gcrXed1qz6dlko1_400.jpg[/img]

        • Bravo's Bitch says:

          Gah that outfit is my number one hated, even more than Easter Whore. That cheap shiny polyester Dots/Fashion Bug confection will linger in my brain for days now. When I saw it I realized how “special” Julie was.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            You’re right. That whole outfit/canvas bag/shoe combo is so very off that this picture might actually be the worst one I’ve ever seen.

        • EyeRoller says:

          She’s spitting on the grave of Marlene Deitrich.
          [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/dos5kp.jpg[/img]

          • Albie Quirky says:

            One of the very few peole in history who could carry off the “tiny tiny eyebrows” look with panache. Oh, Marlene.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            Everything about this photo takes my breath away.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant IS NOT PREGNANT says:

            Smoking: it takes your breath away.

          • EyeRoller says:

            While Donk’s dropped off grid and retreated to a pile of dessert (NOT a typo) where the playa looks like a titanic, electric, ice cream sundae- playground, especially if you’re crazy, dehydrated from XTC, and spinning from whip-it huffing, I’m left to check comments here with my dogs (who like to dress up in catsuits on the weekends, don’t ask) and they’re forcing me to correct myself: DIETRICH.

            Nothing like snotting, on myself and someone else’s memory, by spelling a name wrong, and not even with purposeful witticism. *humiliated*

            Lifecatsters, my noodle rearranges grammar and letters in a wacky way, spellcheck and online diction sources don’t always work on non-stop slang, OH, plus words are herd and I’m a dumb-dumb (that’s a big one). Other than that I’m just a snowflake who’s out of excuses, but full of interesting parse-nips. Thanks for having me.

        • JFA says:

          There is so much wrong with those pants. I believe there is also a paparazzi shot (LOL) of her in this suit somewhere on the streets of NYC. That is not even flared pants. I don’t even know WTF that is.

          • They look like maternity clothes. Flowy, cheap maternity clothes from Forman Mills. Stretch those bills, bunnies!

            At least at Fashion Bug, you can get those stretchy black pants that flare at the bottom but are form fitting throughout the leg. I used to love those pants, had a few pairs that I would wear during choir recitals.

        • Stinky Velour Couture says:

          I think Julie has a lady boner here—
          she’s in the vicinity of FU Money at a random Hedge Fund, visiting a “friend?”
          Note ugly but E$pensive Damien Hirst Spin art.
          -No pelts?
          -fresher face? pre-expiry?
          -man hands

          • Donkarena says:

            She definitely has man hands….I remember noticing every time she cried on Miss Advised and covered her face — her nail polish colors didn’t help matters

          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            Agree that her face was fresher. Every time I see her earlier faces, I wonder whyyyyyy. Why, DonkeyDonk. You looked so good!

        • Fashion Girl says:

          The shiny pants and the dirty booties are so tragic. This was when I realized she was a bit mentally challenged, because she was SO PROUD of herself for putting together this ensemble.

          I had to look back to see if I included it in my 2009 fashion round-up, but not surprisingly, there were 10 other “looks” that were worse.

          http://rebloggingdonk.com/2009/12/31/guest-post-fashion-girls-top-ten-fashion-faux-pas-of-2009/

        • totaljing says:

          Yesterday I claimed the Fauxga picture is my fave ever. I’d forgotten about the Julia Wears Flammable Interview Ensemble picture. It’s a tie (no pun intended).

        • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

          She dresses so cheaply all the time. I would rather she own one decent fitting/looking outfit and wear it everyday than the costumes she tries to pull off as a wardrobe.

    • JFA says:

      WHo talks about a job like this? “I have a nationally syndicated column.” “I am a lawyer at an international multi-office law firm.” “I am a doctor in residency at a prestigious top 10 research hospital.”

      NOtice how most people don’t talk like that? It’s because they are NOT ASSHOLES.

      • Donkarena says:

        LOL — also, I love the trite cliche “get to know me as a person first” — oh, the kind that demands kisses from her terrified dates? Bosses them around? The one that screams at mothers in parking lots? The kind of person that engages in jumping up and down, shrieking and “floor oinking”? Nah — better let him see the hard hitting journalist first.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        “I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.”

      • Pearipathetic donkey says:

        She has no concept of how people with actual careers conduct themselves.

    • JFA says:

      Also LOL. She writes a fluff piece soon to be a failure column once a week = NO FURTHER OBLIGATIONS NECESSARY. Fail.

    • Prom Party Burnout says:

      What’s up with the random italicizes on TBB blog…ugh!

  21. JFA says:

    That picture of her weird man-ass will never stop being deeply disturbing.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      Her ass is like, weird lumpy shapes. It’s not fat, just frumpy and misshapen – like her face!

      • JFA says:

        she has weirdly tiny cheeks compared to her thighs. it really looks like a man’s ass. not hot. put it away.

        • Malformed Face says:

          Coupled with those super duper man hands is not helping. I cannot imagine Goat Soap getting a handy and looking down and not thinking, “URMAGHAD – I’M WITH A MAN!!!!!”

          • A Donkey is an Ass says:

            [img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9pyGU2nAcnA/TwhqQe5Ms-I/AAAAAAAAZWk/HuuCnqoUa-Q/s1600/MGmanhand.gif[/img]

          • A Donkey is an Ass says:

            Gregdammit.

            [img]www.3.bp.blogspot.com/-9pyGU2nAcnA/TwhqQe5Ms-I/AAAAAAAAZWk/HuuCnqoUa-Q/s1600/MGmanhand.gif[/img]

          • Malformed Face says:

            YES!!!!! I was looking for the photo of the big man hands cracking the lobster from Seinfeld! Every time I see Donkeys bloated corpse hands, all I can see is that lobster being ripped to bits!

        • Pearipathetic donkey says:

          Her cheeks do seem small, but then there was that Miss Assvised screenshot of her walking down the street in black pants and it looked like she was wearing a diaper. I wonder if she has a set of chicken cutlets for her ass?

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      Someone needs to grift a copy of Brazil Butt Lift.

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      I can’t wait until she starts posting updates again so I won’t have to see that ass every time I come here. But wait … her posts will just be more ass shots, so…

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, that is delicious. Her terrible photoshops of her enormonoggin seal the deal. She is Julie Albertson’s spiritual twin.

      I hate TechCrunch but I generally like Anthony Ha’s pieces.

      • darling dearest says:

        those photoshops are creepy

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          That’s a single area where I’ll give JA credit. She’s never (as far as I know) constructed a massive photoshop lie of such magnitude. I’m sure she shaves off part of her anatomy and changes tones in every photo, but putting yourself in an event you didn’t attend at all? PSYCHOTIC.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            The question is, is it moral rectitude, or just that Photoshop is difficult with her unwieldy hooves?

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant IS NOT PREGNANT says:

            Also, Julia has trouble finding jpegs of celebrities. It’s not like there are search engines just for photos! So hard to be a woman in tech! Guess I’ll stick to paper copies of celebrity newsweeklies.

      • Enormonoggin says:

        OMG – I’m a one time noob poster/longtime lurker and I was wrung!!!

    • Don Quixote says:

      I’m now following her on twitter.

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      From what I hear among people in the industry, what Shirley Hornstein has been trying to pull off is worse than anything JA has ever done. Legit business scamming that makes JA’s occasional grifting look like short-changing the barista at Starbucks by ten cents.

    • Hunter Gorham says:

      http://1938news.com/posts/tech-report-shirley-hornstein-thoughts

      Isn’t this the same fucktard who came here all the time and then had a nervous breakdown or something? Grifted off his wife until she dumped him?

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Yes.

        He is a class A cunt and in no position to crap on about Shirley fucking Horstein or anyone else for that matter.

        I do find it hilarious that he went all touchy-feely when wifey kicked his ass into the wall and posted a long opus about Becoming One With the Light and Weeping Sweet G*d-Scented Tears of Peace and Harmony. And now summer is over and he’s back to fisting unfunny puppets.

        Twat.

  22. Cowboys & Brayliens says:

    Catladies and catgentlemen, may I present to you — UTOPIA:

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/drsnz.jpg[/img]

    Er, okay, maybe not.

  23. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    New name. Just because.

  24. K_Swizz says:

    http://blindgossip.com/?p=46984

    Is it sad that my first thought was that Our Girl Teej was doing porn now? (It’s probably someone else from that show, but RBNS/RBD colors my assumptions about everything.)

    • Factory Seconds says:

      Wow, all of those people guessing are clearly not gay and/or have never seen gay porn as that picture is of Michael Lucas. It’s probably definitely someone from The A-List. I couldn’t imagine it would be anyone from Queer Eye.

      My thought was definitely Teej, as well. But I’m thinking Austin makes sense.

  25. EyeRoller says:

    HILARIOUS HUMP DAY FLASHBACK!!! (a Microcelebrity Hall of Sham gem)

    Heeeere’s Donkey, just for (donkey) kicks, appearing on Fox News, a wheelbarrow of faces ago. To set up– This clip is not current, nor is Paris Hilton relevant to even the roach doing pull ups from my bedroom light switch right now, HOWEVER, for crypt keeper’s sake would you look at what a smug boob Donkey’s always been. I did get a kick out of watching Donkey ham-dance for the camera in “Jackie Ho-nassis” pearls and mauve blazer. When she addresses the matter of Paris HIlton being overexposed, she implies that it’s Paris’ own fault, because, in Donkey’s own words, “The lawsuit alleges that the website is compromising her privacy, is degrading her, and is actually overexposing her… I think she should sue HERSELF.” Well said, Donkey. Now take your own damn advice and instead of threatening to sue this site, threaten to sue your damn SELF! (1:56 mark of video). NOW, kindly cram a hoof in your maw and eat your own words you dildoheaded doofus:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me42G-Z_D3Y&feature=player_embedded

    PLEASE REMEMBER: This is the same woman who, as I type, is likely passed out, spread eagle, drooling on a plastic tarp under a tent, two burned out glow stick wedged up her nostrils, in a rainbow clown wig, Road Warrior goggles, and a gritty, spangled tankini.

    My dear Cathearts, I rest my my case.

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Why is she lisping?

    • “Smoking substances that are illegal in, um, all of the, um states of this, um, union…”

      Trying so hard to sound smart. I guess it would have been better if it was just a video of Paris eating a brownie, right?

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      I love how she takes ownership of the reporting and keeps saying “we have” as if she’s Woodward and Bernstein in this whole thing. Also classy of her to shame someone for not paying their bill. Smug grifting bitch.

      • EyeRoller says:

        The Cheshire Mammoth Cheese wearing a giant rope of Tridacna pearls lowered around its neck by a tower crane would’ve done a much better job than Donkey in this interview.

        • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

          As with RRR, I can now read your bon mots and know it’s you without looking at your name (for those of us who enjoy scrolling up).

    • maid of dishonor says:

      I still can’t get over how much crazier she seems now. Apart from the “ums” and the attempts to sound sthmart, she’s way less manic on camera here. Like two different people…and I’m not just talking about the faces.

  26. oh, calm down Kevin; it's MONOGRAMMED!!!!!!!!! says:

    i just flicked over the page in my desk diary and it has a list of random facts.

    first one: “A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won’t.”

    rather appropriate, i thought…..

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      Is this true, though?!? And why not?

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        I understand it’s not Dissertation A Day calendar, though.

      • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

        I thought quicksand was not a real thing.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          It is, although it is seldom as dangerous as people think. The real problem is getting stuck in it and being unable to get out, rather than actually sinking entirely. Not much fun for the prospector working alone in the middle of an unpopulated area.

          Clay is a different and very frightening thing. I once found myself on a clay pan that was in the process of liquification and it was one of the very few times in my life that I felt I was in mortal danger.

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            We’re you clutching your pearls?

          • Crazy Eddie says:

            So you *can’t* sink in quicksand? Victor Hugo lied to us!

            Seriously, in Les Miserables, there’s a little passage telling us in great detail how a man sinks into quicksand, how it takes hours, how he knows he is doomed, ending with the guy’s fingers sticking out of the ground. Kind of disturbing if you read it right before you go to bed…

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            @ABS

            If “clutching your pearls” is slang for “your anus puckering into a knot of terror that makes it impossible to poo for a week,” then yes.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            RRR, your tale of the liquifying clay pan reminds me that I still have the capacity for surprise.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            It happened in Quebec on what we thought was a lovely spot for a picnic and turned out to be what in Canada is called a flat of Leda Clay, i.e., a seeming solid that is in fact 80% liquid and the other 20% oily goop. While firmn in appearance and able to support grasses and flowers, leda clay can liquify at minor shock levels i.e. the thumping progress of a quartet of stupid bitches and their picnic basket.

            Imagine walking along what appears to be a strange green-gray acre in the middle of a sunny field only to realize that the surface of this area is rapidly transforming into something redolent of Momser’s guacamole surprise. After it has been eaten and given everyone a case of the shits.

            The entire town of Saint-Jean Vianney went bye-bye in 1971 when the plain it was built on collapsed into a liquid state and then flowed a mile down the street.

            Blub blub bloop.

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            @RRR, so you were on the Claya? For reals, I’ve never heard of this and thought you were yanking our chains but I so long for the days when my own anus could pucker and hold poo for a week.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Trust me, I hadn’t heard of it either until we were nearly up to our eyebrows in it. And we only figured it out later.

            Classic example of fridge horror – it was a thoroughly nasty and unnerving experience but not really terrifying until afterward when I found out that you could, yes, actually drown in the stuff.

        • A Donkey is an Ass says:

          I don’t know what it is. But I hate it.

        • Jordache and the Pelts says:

          I stepped in it at Yellowstone as a kid (trying to get an up close photo of an elk with my kodak instamatic and got stuck up to my knees or so but didn’t sink all the way in like in the cartoons. I had to be pulled out and lost my favorite pair of brand new shoes. I guess it could’ve been worse and I could have fallen into a geyser.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            I currently have about 15 chigger bites.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            chiggers are the absolute worst. I hate them more than fire ants.

          • brayday cray says:

            Clear nail polish! Just paint over the chigger bites and I swear to you it eases the itch & helps kill them fast.

            …summer camp in rural Illinois dun teach me good.

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            No, no, no, it’s nail polish REMOVER that you apply and then a match.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Not sure if this works on chigger bites, but it does on stinging nettle: pour cold beer where it hurts.

            Srsly. Learned the hard way at a kegger in the woods when we plowed through thicket to go pee.

  27. Lady Donk Donk says:

    Guaranteed she won’t go next year.

    • Jelly Roll says:

      Guaranteed she’s not there now.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I would think that, but I cannot believe she could restrain herself from social media if she were just sitting in a hotel room (the Marina del Bray condo is AirBnB’d, right?)

      • Leased D-Class TaskRabbit "boyfriend" (Formerly Floppy) says:

        I’m waiting for the “Ugh!! Fell off my bike on the playa and had to leave but my boyfriend is taking care of me in his house!” tweet.

        • “My camp didn’t have any gluten free food– what is it with hippies and gluten, anyway? crazy hippies– so I had to go back to MDB. Oh, and I missed Lilly! LILLY… and MY BOYFRIEND.”

      • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

        My OMGBF fell off his bike on the playa so I had to take him home and take care of him!

      • mule on rouge says:

        As long as there is a wallet foolhardy enough to let her inside his luxury RV (which she will cling to like a barnacle), she’ll stick around.

  28. LetItExplode says:

    I’m still holding out hope that at some point she will hit rock bottom (maybe after Goat Soap bolts) and get into extensive cognitive behavioral therapy, preferably in-patient. I feel sorry for her and for all the people in the path of her destruction.

    • EyeRoller says:

      Yes, therapy or change would be unbelievable alright. In the meantime though, as this shitshow dribbles forward, wouldn’t it be overly great if “The boyfriend” tweets something like this in a few days:

      @Goat Soap: The Donkey arrives back in LA tonight & when I asked her what she wanted for dinner she said: “Your penis!” AHHHH! Pressure is on.

      Five wadded dollar bills and a tarot card reading says Goat Soap’s will fix Donk his signature crab legs, beer, and halved lemons–

      http://www.lifecrowd.com/activity/58/294?utm_source=experienceLA&utm_medium=post&utm_campaign=devin_crab

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Review: Sean T. Aug 31, 2011
        “With my wedding and the need for a suit fast approaching I asked Devin for his help.
        He recommended a suit shop in the Fashion District where he knew and trusted the owners. Devin helped me figure out the color, material, style, and alterations that I wanted. He demonstrated his knowledge of how suits should look, the type of shoes to wear with the style of suits I bought, and what occasions the suits would go best with. I ended up with 3 suits: an off-white summer suit (for our beach engagement photos), one for my wedding, and another to make me look better than all the rest when I go out on the town. All 3 suits fit P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y and I feel like they reveal the true me when i wear them. Thank you!!”

        I hope he recommended the white canvas slip-ons.

        • Well, he is the better dressed one out of the couple.

          He is able to throw a suit together and only look half the idiot that is Donk in a “suit.” Do you think he acts as fashion consultant to our burro friend now that he’s contractually obligated to spend time with her?

          “If you want me to go skydiving with you, you CANNOT wear those shorts. Ick. Just ick.”

        • EyeRoller says:

          Dying… because if you remember (I don’t have time to assemble the three photos), but there were pics of Goat Soap in OMGTHREEDIFFERENTSUITS during his Chicago wedding visit–
          1) Donkey and Goatsy at a restaurant with him in suit #1
          2) Donkey and Goatsy at the wedding with him in off-white suit #2
          3) Donkey and Goatsy the next day at Baugher’s charity event (at a table under the tent in) suit #3

          At least he lives his own advice. That’s more than a Donkey.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:
        • EyeRoller says:

          That link made me think of Donkey on a couch that’s covered in Goat hair, smoking cigars and watching Groucho Marx, crab shell shrapnel caught up in her pelts, tears of joylessness pouring down her face…

      • Donkarena says:

        you’re killing me, EyeRoller

      • Hunter Gorham says:

        ER, this has had me laughing since lunch. Nice catch.

    • melting marionette says:

      Unfortunately NPD sufferers are the last to realize that they need therapy, therefore do not seek it…

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      I don’t care. I don’t wish her ill, but I certainly don’t wish her well. Most sentient beings quickly peg her for what she is, and those who don’t flee think they’re clever enough to game the system and get something from her — like being on that shitshow on Bravo or the rube who apparently believes she’s a wallet.

      Personally, I do not feel sorry for anyone who thought they could get something by being around her.

  29. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    I love the fact that she is his wallet. Hysterical.

    • Donkarena says:

      Yeah — which item on Donk’s Perfect Husband/Boyfriend list is that again?

    • EyeRoller says:

      Donkey as Goat Soap’s wallet, that thought is so very everything.
      [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/9rreky.jpg[/img]

      • mcakez says:

        Daawwwww. I am going to look at this whenever I am sad. Who’s a schmoopy bookums? Is it you two? Yes, it is!

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      How stupid and naive is he? Or did he grow up homeless in the woods?

  30. EyeRoller says:

    Donkey– Leann will be patiently waiting for you at the end of the hall with a cup of lukewarm decaf coffee, a frozen twitter account, a thorazine, and a paper gown.

    http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/posts/la-et-ms-leann-rimes-rehab-anxiety-20120830,0,7616879.story

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      I wonder what the real story is there. It’s probably exactly what it appears to be.

    • The sad thing is that despite their love of fauxto shoots in unflattering outfits, Leann has ten times the self-awareness that Donx has. She might be checking into rehab as a publicity stunt, but at least she’s recognizing that she has a problem and is doing something about it.

      • Malformed Face says:

        She’s trying to cover how psychotic she comes off meeting with her Twitter fans to gang up on an ex-Twitter fan and the revelation that she made up fake accounts to harass her husband’s ex-wife.

        I doubt she has much self awareness. I bet her people told her if she ever wants to have any kind of career, she better check into rehab.

        • Okay, so I clearly don’t know very much about Leanne Rimes. Wow. I knew she was slathering her Twitter feed with scary photos of her spazzing out in a bikini, but had no idea she was stanning an ex-stan.

          I take it back: Donk and Leanne are on the same level.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Except that if Rimes gets help, she could return to being a talented performer. If Julie gets help, she’ll be less of a Thundercunt but still talentless.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            Agreed, Albie. This is a woman who has been supporting a small nation on her talent alone since she was TEN YEARS OLD. She never had a chance to learn anything, as far as I can tell. Stressed? Anxiety? An eating disorder? I would fucking think so.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Except that Leanne Rimes has actually gotten something Donks desperately craves — married.

          • To be fair: landing a cheating loser isn’t much of an accomplishment.

            Agree that Rimes has talent and getting help could help restart her career.

            They’re still equally attention whorey.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            It’s still more than Donks can land these days.

  31. JuliaViewerEmails says:

    Is Donks involved in the Shirl scandal?

    Sounds like her twin at the very least..

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant IS NOT PREGNANT says:

      Don’t think Donkey is involved, but I’m unusually fascinated by the whole thing, perhaps because @shirls seems like Donkey but smarter and even more screwed up. I keep checking her Twitter feed, waiting for her to say anything.

  32. Malformed Face says:

    So how is it that Donkey, who went up 15,000 Twitters followers one day last week and 6,000 Twitter followers another day last week, go up zero Twitter followers on a week she is out of town.

    I’M GENUINELY CURIOUS!!!!!

  33. Psychotic Today says:

    OT Cat Ladies. Clint Eastwood. WTF? How was that a good idea? The chair? So many questions.

    • AFGHANI says:

      What happened? I was tending my hedges.

      • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

        Fertilize them with caulk.

      • Psychotic Today says:

        He got up on stage unscripted. Rambled. Had an empty chair on stage where an invisible President Obama sat. He proceeded to get into an argument with an invisible President. It was very bizarre.

        • A Donkey is an Ass says:

          They ate that shit up. Very bizarre indeed.

          They love Clint Eastwood when they’re not calling him the “Hollyweird” elite. Just like they love Mitt Romney when they’re not calling him a RINO.

          Sorry to get political, but conservatives are the worst. And they bring out the worst in me.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          That is an odd, odd choice. But he’s Clint Eastwood; who’s going to tell him “No”?

          I guess it could have been worse, like an interpretive dance or an Abe Lincoln impersonation,

        • A Donkey is an Ass says:

          Interpretive dance? That’s liberal propaganda. Toby Keith and Larry the Cable Guy are the only artists worthy of the RNC.

          IWhen I’m not here I like to spend my free time at Rationalwiki. It’s a snark site/cite/sight that calls out crazy conservatives. Some of those fuckers make Donkey seem downright normal. *Shudders*

          • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

            Oh great – clicked over and there goes my day.
            Love you cats!

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      He’s super-duper conservative. Except when he’s not.

    • Chairman Maw says:

      Eastwood was terrible. I won’t have a final ruling on Worst Convention Speaker Ever until I’ve taken in Jimmy Carter’s performance next week, though. Dirty and Confused Harry is a tough act to follow, but history suggests Jimbo is up to the challenge.

  34. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    So wait…wasn’t one of the woo-woo Donk counselors on MissAdvised named Annie Lalla? Apparently she is a Burner too.

    http://www.burningman.com/blackrockcity_yearround/tales/AnnieLalla.html

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Yes, Julie and La Lalla became best buds at last year’s Burning Man; I think they met a bit earlier at the Tim Ferris grifter carnival where she also met Lewish.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      you must be new here ;)

      [img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/304264_10150802386475417_843210416_21963294_4557322_n.jpg[/img]

      [img]http://i51.tinypic.com/14skxoi.jpg[/img]

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        CAPTION: “THE RAPTOR & THE ASS”

      • A Donkey is an Ass says:

        Holy fuck, why is Donkey dry humping her? She looks like she’s going to break Annie Lalalala.

        Donkey jealous. Donkey smash tiny girl.

        • Donkarena says:

          I know! It looks like Annie is stimulating her with her bony hip bone….blechhh. Annie’s credibility is shot now, as far as I’m concerned.

          • A Donkey is an Ass says:

            Well, it was a pretty low bar to begin with.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            it wasn’t before?!

          • Donkarena says:

            As I said below, I’m new here

          • Donkarena says:

            Of course Donkey finds her life coaches/therapists at Burning Man! Because they’re such BFFs now! And that also means they’ll do it for FREE!! UGH….I’m so ashamed. I was SO blind to the Donkey while watching MissAdvised…..(Now, I’m wondering about the money transfer I sent to help that lady get her millions out of that Nigerian bank)

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Being near a tiny, skinny girl winces Donkey!

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        Prof, I have come very late to the game.

        Look at Donk’s neck in the bottom pic, she looks like the creature from Alien.

      • EyeRoller says:

        *grabs phone… falls out… comes to… returns to comment*:

        Fuck you very much Professor. I must now hitch horses to wagon tomorrow and journey into town where I will barter homespun cathair legwarmers for a jug of Spirits of Hartshorn from the mercantile, because I just sniffed up a whopping jug of it reviving myself after looking at these pictures and falling.the.fuck.out.

        Photo 1: Note the days-old scheme juices dried to the lens. Methinks the photographer must’ve been a schizophrenic homeless man with diabetic retinopathy who Donk and Annie kidnapped and forced at gunpoint to create a photo shoot a la Burning Man LaChapelle.

        At first glance, Manny Lala looks like every other emancipated (I mean emaciated) twink assistant to any random struggling off-strip drag queen magician in Reno (I hear you can’t cum without hitting one there). Somebody saw that bitch in half, please. Anyhow, I was wrong, because after a lengthened glance I realized she’s the carny who guessed my weight incorrectly in 1985 at a traveling circus off the side of the freeway, where I won a purple feathered roach clip hair accessory just like the one she’s wearing in the first photo, when she told me as an innocent child that it was one of a kind. That’s a carny for you.

        Concerning Donk, all I will say is that she’s obviously trying her lip-biting durndest to flatten out her neon-pantied F.U.P.A. by smashing herself against Annie’s boney torso, but, honey boo boo, it’s not working and that is all.

        • EyeRoller says:

          *drops* phone, not *grabs*, i think

          we must keep these slams somewhat historically accurate, correct?

      • Donkarena says:

        Yes Prof. Camping, I’m new here — had never even heard of Burning Man (or julia until the show) or any of this before coming to this site. Seeing Annie on the show, I didn’t have anything else to go on. She seemed to lay on the criticism of Julia, and the criticism seemed authentic — because I was feeling stirrings of a nutjob aura around Julia already.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Wise woman!

          • Donkarena says:

            so very sheltered!!! This site has opened my eyes — and it was so validating to find a place where I wasn’t the only one getting wierd vibes off this chick. “OK, good, it’s not just me” :-)

        • EyeRoller says:

          I’m like you, I didn’t know Annie had been “Priscilla Queen of the Desert”-ing around with Donk outside of the show. Was this before or after M.A. was filmed? This topples Annie’s paradigm, if you will.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Before. La Lalla is a personal friend, which was not disclosed on the show. (Julie was at her wedding to fellow grifter Eben Pagan a/k/a David D’Angelo, for instance.)

            Even so, The Cartographer of Love gave pretty decent advice. But it is ridiculous that the friendship was not disclosed.

          • EyeRoller says:

            Agreed Albert Q. After seeing these pics of Doctor Non Grata Annie Lala, she would’ve filled the “wacky friend” to Donkey’s nutcase role much better than the unbiased 3rd party earth mother ho-school guidance counselor character she ended up portraying on M.A. show.

          • GrammaRian says:

            Wait, are you suggesting that the show was a tissue of lies and misrepresentations from start to finish?

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        If you do an image search for Annie Lalla you’ll find a pic of her dancing at Burning man with a erect penis coming out of her belly dancing skirt..Beware, once seen, cannot be unseen.

      • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

        I said this last year, but I’m pretty sure the side of that RV has been shopped, because normally those things have the logo of the rental company slathered all over them. You can see it on the back of the RVs in other pictures. I’m not sure if Julia was trying to hide the fact that they had ‘ewwww rented’ RVs (as opposed to ‘owned’ ones) or was trying to be in the ‘no advertising’ spirit (I mentioned elsewhere how other people cover the sides to avoid corporate displays) or both. I, naturally, am inclined to believe the former.

        In other news: it hella looks like the guys printed on the side of that RV are peeing off the edge of the Grand Canyon (or whatever).

    • Dr. Gary says:

      More pix from last year:

      [img]http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/6614/jabm2.png[/img]

      [img]http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9392/jabm4.png[/img]

      [img]http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/7756/jabm14.png[/img]

      [img]http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/3081/jabm27.png[/img]

    • Dr. Gary says:

      [img]http://img845.imageshack.us/img845/3110/jabm31.png[/img]

      [img]http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/9628/jabm32.png[/img]

      • mule on rouge says:

        That second one, where she looks like a rubber sex doll, creeps me right out. How long does she have to hold a gaping fish mouth pose before somebody (in this case, HER) finally snaps these “candid” photos? Note the sad shoulder hunching she’s doing to look skinnier. Photoshoppin’ and clavicle poppin’ 4 lyfe, yo.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Love this one, with the weird photoshopping on Julie’s thighs:

      [img]http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/1476/jabm17.png[/img]

      • Random Snowflake says:

        She really needs to start having a more knowledgable Task Rabbit start Photoshopping her photos for her.. her legs near the crotch aren’t even humanly possible here. Damn. Deformed?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/24es1h1.png[/img]

      • Donkarena says:

        That photo on the bike is TOO funny — and the photoshopping on the tutu pic is obvious in several places. Looks like a lunatic stuck a leg into her torso and ran.

      • I keep staring at this photo trying to figure out what is going on with her legs. It looks like one foot, the hoof on the left side of this photo, is on a pedal and is making the left leg look higher up. The right hoof is on the ground.

        It does look like she tried to shop it. The right leg, with the ribbon on it, is missing the indentation of soft tissue at the top where she tied it like a tournequette (sp?, I’m lazy), and the left leg looks like it’s completely detached from her torso. Probably shopped, but it might also be a little bit of twisting and positioning to look skinnier. Very strange.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Fauxto-chopping D0nkey be fauxto-chopping.

          I’ll bet anything that this is more like it …
          [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/33bk8r7.png[/img]
          What’s (still) missing that I don’t know how to replicate is the tongue of the bike seat, because D0nkey, who never reads here, knew it would be mistaken for her peen.

          • SirClompsAlot says:

            You crack me up. The “never reads here” is one of my favorite memes on this site. :-)

            Also love “so fat”.

        • SirClompsAlot says:

          I just grabbed this and looked at it in photoshop with all of the technical things you can investigate and it is indeed shopped to hell. And very badly too. How can she not see how bad it is?

    • Lalalalalalala I can't hear you. says:

      OMG that story is pure conceited bitchfest wrapped up in spirit sparkles.

      “I am more beautiful than sun wizened 23 year olds but they still want to hug me anyway. How magical it all is.”

      What a cunt.

  35. MY Beach Home says:

    Lemme get this out of the way: Jesus her face!

    OT: I am getting OMG Married in a week and we are doing it all private elopey type and then instead of spending all of our money on one meal for our crazy families we are spending it on our honeymoon. No judgement in BRC for others who do it differently, we just want to celebrate and enjoy together, and alone.

    We are doing a week in Paris and a week on the French Riviera. We think we’ve got Paris planned and covered but neither of us has been to the South before. Any catlady tips?

    Many, many thanks and again, wtf with her face? She seriously looks post menopausal.

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      YES! I enjoyed Antibes and Nice. Antibes is beautiful sandy beach, lots of yachts, and an incredible old town with an historic fort. You can take the train easily from Antibes to Nice or Monaco. Nice is lovely, especially Old Town. It feels almost more Italian than French in some ways. The train station there has frequent trains to/from Paris. Get dinner at Le Hussard – best meal of my life. The beach is large, smooth rocks, so you can’t lay on a towel, but you can rent a comfy lounger chair for around twenty euro and it is so relaxing (plus no muss and fuss of beach sand). The train to Monaco is quick and if you’re used to walking around a city then the 15 minute walk to the casino at Monte Carlo will be no sweat. The place that I regret not going is Eze – everyone I know who has gone to that are just adores it, says it is the gem of the region.

      Congrats to you! You will absolutely love it.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Congrats! Sounds amazing. I really think that’s a great way to do it.

      I love the south of France. Possibly one of my favorite spots in the world. Spent a lot of time in Bordeaux. Also love the southeast/Côte d’Azur: Cannes, Nice, Antibes, Juan les Pins.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan-les-Pins

      Take the train from Paris to the south, and get off at one of the small towns on the beach for a day or two. Then hop back on and visit another town. You’ll be so glad you did. A bottle of rosé, fresh grilled sardines, baguettes, cheese…oh Lordy. I do miss it.

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      Sorry, more things. I am so excited for you and I am re-living my own honeymoon through these comments.

      In Nice, Plaza Massena is lovely at night. Beautiful fountain, lit up at night. Just spectacular. Great to walk past on your way back from dinner in Old Town.

      I forgot to mention how scenic the train rides are. The train runs along the coast, so you look out one window and see the Mediterranean, and you look out the other window and you see the Alps.

      • A Donkey is an Ass says:

        Definitely Nice. That place is great.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Yes! It is also bringing back memories for me of my travels across Europe.

        I agree, taking the train through the south of France is magical.

        The south of France and traveling from the south of Italy to Florence are 2 of the most memorable train trips I’ve ever had.

        It was summer, and rainy. I had a train car to myself. It was quiet and peaceful. There were castles and villas on the hills in the distance. I wanted to get off at every stop and explore.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I love Antibes the best of all the cities along the Cote d’Azur. Nice and Cannes are over-rated, and the beaches are stony. Saint Raphael, Antibes, Saint Tropez, they’re all nicer. There is a gorgeous hotel in Saint Tropez called the Hotel Byblos where Brigitte Bardot used to hang out — if you can afford it, book a night or two there. It is beautiful.

      Provence to me is just as beautiful as the coast, so I’d try to explore it too. Grasse, Vence, aix-en-Provence — lovely, lovely places, so many pretty inns and markets and hikes to do, great museums. Very romantic.

      Monaco — meh. It’s fun to see for an afternoon, but it’s some weird Emerald City type place filled with Eurotrash.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        p.s. And oh yeah, Eze is spectacular. Go up and eat at the restaurant at the top of the cliff at sunset … unbelievable view.

        • Scooby Don't says:

          Second the Eze love. It’s amazing, great views, great food and it’s a good place to shop for perfume too.
          We rented motorcycles and drove along the coast road from Cannes to Monaco and back which is amazing if you’re so inclined. Most surreal part of the trip was it was right before the Monaco Grand Prix so the track was laid out and we whipped along it on our bikes, giving me the opportunity to tell everyone I’ve driven the Monaco Gran Prix. Buy a bottle of the local wine, some local cheese and some baguettes, find a good spot on a quiet beach (which is possible) and enjoy the Mediterranean. Enjoy your trip!

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      Congrats, MBH! I don’t have suggestions, I just wanted to tell you my daughter and son-in-law eloped in St. John, and got back two weeks ago from spending their one-year anniversary there. It was a very smart and romantic thing to do, and from the point of the view of the mother of the bride, I applauded it.

      • MY Beach Home says:

        Thank you all for the congratulations and great tips.

        I hope I don’t get the flu and have to cancel the whole trip!

        Kisses

        • Donkarena says:

          I’ll add my congratulations to you, too. Your chosen honeymoon locale is beautiful — I’ll add my 2 cents’ worth — the Villa Rothchild was lovely, quiet — with incredible views. I loved Monaco because I’m a Grace Kelly fan, but those days are long gone, as Jacy pointed out. It’s still lovely to see, but doesn’t take more than a day. I still can’t get over that we could hop the bus from Cannes back to Nice for just one Euro! That’s how we got to the villa, too. Anyway — you’ll love it all — Many happy memories to you both.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      OMG mazel tov! I have yet to go to the South of France so I have nothing to add except hurray!

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Congrats, MBH, and all happiness to you. I’d suggest Menton.

    • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

      Congratulations!!

      This site needs a travel guide subsection. Or a book! I’ve copied & pasted and bookmarked more amazing travel tips from you catladies. Thanks for that!

    • ineffably protracted cankle says:

      i’d also go with grasse, and add vallauris. while the big cities are good bases, the tiny towns are the nicest to walk around (IMHO)

      also, if you’re going further west, hyères is really pretty, and the calanques around cassis are GORGEOUS.

    • Greg says:

      Congratulations!

      I would recommend (from west to east, approximately): Bormes les Mimosas, le Lavandou, les Iles Porquerolles (fun boat day-trip), lunch at a beach club in Ramatuelle (near St. Tropez), Mougins, St. Paul de Vence (the Fondation Maeght is a wonderful museum), the Matisse Chapel in Vence.

      I second/third/fourth/fifth Eze – spectacular. Enjoy – it’s a beautiful place and this is a perfect time of year to go.

      • ineffably protracted cankle says:

        YES to the Porquerolles. I went last year at this time – the beaches are empty, it’s still gorgeous out and the sea is still warm. Rent a bike once you get off the ferry, and you’ll have a great day.

    • She's driving me crazy says:

      I’m way too excited that you guys are talking up my birthplace, Antibes is the best!

  36. Donkarena says:

    Forgive if posted previously — London’s gossip rag “Daily Mail” online has Burning Man as top story — Looks like a sea of misery to me. I think I’d get desert claustrophobia (fear of being without enough water)

  37. helobabe says:

    O/T can someone give me a link to one of those sites used to watch Miss Assvised live? My huscat is looking to watch some upcoming football games on the computer and I couldn’t remember what sites were posted here that stream live tv… Thanks in advance!

  38. Powerful Moms with Fantastic Sons (aka Cindy M's Med Cab) says:

    Michael K had a link on Dlisted recently to City Rag of what he called “MiniDonks!” I can’t get the link because I can’t access either site on my computer right now, but they’re so cute and tiny! So opposite of this donk!

  39. EyeRoller says:

    Anyone notice brand new Bravo promo ad with a kitten that’s a huge nod to all the catpeeps? It was awesome.

  40. The Normal Healthy Julia says:

    Hotel Du Cap Eden Roc in Antibes really is paradise.

  41. Dyspeptic says:

    Is that our Donks on the far left? If not, it’s her playa doppelgänger.

    [img]http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/08/31/article-2196151-14BF8EB6000005DC-763_964x658.jpg[/img]

    • EyeRoller says:

      This really does look like a special ed class field trip.

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        I wish I understood the allure of this event. Actually, I don’t. I know I like indoor plumbing, showers, clean sheets, clean men, yeah there isn’t anything on the face of the earth that could get me to attend.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Could be her, but everyone looks the same with the shamepuff and big sunglasses. The horrible arm and leg warmers do smack of Our Julie’s “style”, and the bike looks pink, so…

      • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

        I’d say not enough tittehs, but that does look like Greasy behind her.

        Also bitches, it’s not shameless grifting, it’s “manifestation power”.

        [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/ma8cw6.jpg[/img]

        And O/T: Am currently reading The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides. Not world changing or anything, about 1/3 through, but thought some of you literary types here might enjoy it as a light-ish read. English Lit main character in the deconstructionist years.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          Yes, I thought she was a little too clad, and a little too unselfconsciously cheerful looking, to be Julia. But the pink motif, the furry white accoutrements and the pink bike made me wonder.

        • afghani says:

          he’s besties with Joyce Carol Oates and it seems like she’s rubbing off on him a little

    • Scooby Don't says:

      [img]http://apocotalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/tina.jpg[/img]
      Aunty Entity says these fools need a good dose of the Thunderdome.
      Everyone enters, no one leaves!

    • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

      not her. Doesn’t look like her in the face and not enough cutlet cleavage.

      • A Donkey is an Ass says:

        Donkey is the Wendell Short Eyes to that girl’s Dennis. The jaw-line is not the same. Though she’ll make you taste things you don’t want to. Give you juice boxes that make you sleepy. Rapey Donkey is rapey (when she’s not inside).

  42. Who do you think you are? says:

    I heart Felix and hope he is a cat lady.

    @felixsalmon Wherein Wired one-ups its Julia Allison cover with a a 6,370-word article about cats on the internet: http://t.co/YagyL8Eh

    If this has already been posted, fuck me, I’m on my slow phone.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      OMG MY WORLDS COLLIDE!

      Felix Salmon is a catlady at heart. Joy joy joy.

    • afghani says:

      And Felix Salmon is an actual journalist, I think with Reuters (not sure–I always hear him on NPR’s Marketplace, though)

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        He’s more than an actual journalist. He’s a widely read and respected financial journalis and one who legitimizes blogging.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          But does he claim to be internationally syndicated at the barest opportunity? That’s how you can tell if someone’s a real journalist, like a writer for celebrity newsweeklies, and not just a two-bit blogger.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      He’s pretty interesting on Twitter. Plus, he has a cool, cat-related name.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        He sometimes writes about urban cycling, too (where my fellow cyclists at? Brianna, where have you been, girl?) and to “salmon” has colloquially become the term to describe riding the wrong way in a bike lane or down a one-way street. Bikesnob (any other readers, here?) hilariously refers to Felix Salmon as someone who either rides the wrong way or who rides while interpreting data. I dunno; funny in context I guess.
        http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2012/06/you-cant-spell-wednesday-without.html?m=1

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      But also the article is fabulous.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        It totally is, and a far worthier subject than Julie Albertson.

        It is taking me hours to finish it, however, because I keep going to find the cats I hadn’t heard of and then spend hours killing myself laughing at them.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          I just finished watching the second Existential Cat video, and when he says, “I’ve learned the whipped cream in the bathroom is not whipped cream,” and you see the cat delicately tasting shaving foam? I totally snorked.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          This paragraph: “What an Internet cat does is thus confront us with how cravenly we ourselves court approval. A cat, if it decides to love you, will do so only on its own terms, and, as that Viennese study showed, the more you let it come to you, i.e., the less you need it, the better loved you’re going to be. The reason the lolcat says “Oh hai” is because he only just noticed, and certainly doesn’t care, that you caught him serenely occupying ur nouns, verbing ur other nouns. He doesn’t worry about you or what you think; by his living in your screen, you can love him, but there isn’t a prayer of reciprocation. Thus is the Internet cat the realest cat of all.”

          SO GOOD.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        Damn, I actually forgot all the about the article he linked to. Yay, cats!

    • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

      Love this, thanks for posting. I had no idea the Japanese had cat cafes.

  43. Factory Seconds says:

    My friend posted a picture of some gay dudes in tutus at BM and I can only imagine the Donkey is afoot.

    [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9mwhp7PXB1qz6muvo1_500.jpg[/img]

  44. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:
    • Random Snowflake says:

      Luckily, I’ll be surrounded by something like this, with all the airbags, in my little non-luxury common person Honda if I get creamed..

      [img]http://spinoff.nasa.gov/Spinoff2009/images/Mars-lander-Crash-bags.jpg[/img]

  45. afghani says:

    Wonder how FB cracking down on fake “likes” will affect A Donkey.

  46. EyeRoller says:

    DESERT PIG OF LOVE
    by Donkey

    Ephemeral zeal to all and HELLO! to readers of whichever nationally syndicated publication I can blow or blackmail into publishing this. It’s yours truly, Donkey Do Little, writing you from Fraggle Rock City where The Man burns tonight everyone! This year’s event is so revolutionary, so groundbreaking, so Tweet-worthy that it’s a shame any second of off grid life here should be kept to only myself, my baker’s dozen of warped personalities residing within my undiagnosed mental illness(es), and the fifty thousand other burners here, who are, at this point, all indistinguishable from Dick Van Dyke after the Chim Chim Cher-ee number in Mary Poppins. But I digest, I mean, digress… Pardon my typos or grammar mistakes dear readers; I’m morse coding this from a DIY high tech communication device I constructed out of some clip in hair extensions, a box of leftover tutus, and a Speak and Spell. Donkey phone home.

    I spent most of yesterday crying and shamefully raking sand over hundreds of discarded nylon tutus from Costume Central. Really guys, I had to bury them and leave them behind forever, because no reasonable person could expect me to be responsible for all of that trash, come on. Then last night after I passed out, some wise guys super glued a tent stake below my frontal hairline and sharpied the word “UNICORNY” across my forehead. It’s super stupid just like me, but I kind of like people pointing and staring at me. Would it be weird and worrisome if I left it on but continued to stomp my hooves and pretended to be upset about it just for attention? :-)

    Today, I’ve got a double header. No, it’s not what you think you port-a-potty brains, it’s back to back workshops where I’m going to learn how to cook hashish-quiche on a hibachi grill, follow by a tour of a carbon footprint-free art installation of household appliances and Disney characters constructed from nothing but crushed pyrite and the spit of a thousand non-white humans. Later, my own personal trough away from home, Camp Idiot, will be dipping me in hot molten organic wax tonight after which I will stand erect for three hours in the middle of a sand trap as part of our exhibition: Dildonius Non-Homocarsonine.

    I should mention that I’ve had lots-o-sex with randoms-o-plenty for drugs and golf cart rides across the playa, solidifying in my mind the micro-whoring cycle that will continue as I begin photoshopping myself from chupacabra into Vegas showgirl with gangs of photos I’ll post the second I leave this Greg forsaken desert. Am I the only one who thinks the nickname for the chupacabra is “Goat Sucker” look it up it’s true LOL can’t wait to hump your carcass when I get back Goatsy!!! Lastly, I’ve dearly missed every single hater who remains halfheartedly irritated with me back in Default Land (that’s what we vintage burners call all the places with porcelain toilets and rational thinking).

    The Man burns tonight! See you soon everyone!!!

    xoxodonkey

  47. frequent liar miles says:

    OT, but OMG! I think I just ran into (almost LITERALLY) Andrew Bancroft (aka JellyD) in Mollie Stones just now! I was awkwardly trundling this huge cart of groceries (big bbq tomorrow) down the ramp and this hapless lad had to look lively (or I might have run him down), which he did with good grace and a sunny smile. I’m pretty sure it was him; I would recognize those lashless, buggy, pink-lidded eyes anywhere (actually, though, he was way cuter in person and seemed nice, so I am glad he escaped A Donkey’s clutching hooves.)

  48. juliaspublicist says:

    So when is Beyond Thundertard over?

    • EyeRoller says:

      From burningman.com:

      Q. What are the dates for the event?
      A. Burning Man is always held the week prior to and including Labor Day weekend. In 2012 the dates are Monday, August 27th to Monday, September 3rd.

      • Grifty Shades of Bray says:

        They burned the man last night. Tonight they burn the temple, and then tomorrow it’s over.

        I got home from a dinner party late last night and tuned into the live stream of the man burn. For whatever reason I have morbid curiosity about the appeal of this world’s fair for freaks so I wanted to see it. So they basically did various drill-team style twirly fire dances around it, shot off fifteen minutes of fireworks in and around it, and then set off some bombs under it and watched it blow up and burn. I did not stay up to watch them roll around and anoint themselves in the ashes.

    • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

      it seems like it’s been going on for weeks.

  49. Grifty Shades of Bray says:

    So I am reading an article about a potential anti-cancer virus, and the author mentions a material the researchers are using in the lab. I did a spit-take when I saw the name of the antigen.

    http://www.millipore.com/catalogue/item/ap180p

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Hee hee, Donkey anti-Goat antibody!

      Goat Soap also always makes me think of Flight of the Conchords’ “I Told You I Was Freaky.”

  50. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    I’ve said it before and I will say it again.

    Rachel Sklar is a fucking useless idiot. I’d rather get a blow job from Mr. Ed.

    http://www.politico.com/multimedia/video/2012/09/rachel-sklar-of-change-the-ratio-joins-politico-live.html

  51. EyeRoller says:

    Supreme Being: “Dead? No excuse for laying off work”.
    http://i48.tinypic.com/11b20xz.png
    Quote: ‘Time Bandits’ (1981)
    Screenshot: Burning Man (noon-thirty’ish) Labor Day 2012

  52. Maggie says:

    Whoa, VERY interesting discussion of narcissistic personality disorder and social media…
    http://itc.conversationsnetwork.org/shows/detail5305.html

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      SPAM LINK for a $25 book off of Amazon

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Maybe not … I initially overlooked the play button …
        Apologies to Maggie if the podcast ever gets around to narcissism.

  53. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Mercedes C Class) says:

    I find Donkey utterly boring at this point. I do miss my hilarious cat ladies but I don’t think I could care less if a Donkey took her last bray.

  54. ShesJustStupid says:

    Aaannnd she’s back! With a tweet about perspective and contentment.

  55. A colossus of scheme juices and failure (fka Donkeycam Now!!) says:

    I was worried for a while.

    BTW, I don’t believe for a minute she stayed in a tent.

    I imagine that within minutes of arriving to the Playa she blowjobbed her way into a luxury RV, because she may (still) have a boyfriend but there is no judgement Black Rock City.

  56. Donkicles says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Life is just a series of repeatedly losing & gaining perspective. The key to contentment is to skew the ratio slightly toward the latter.

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant IS NOT PREGNANT says:

      Typo. Think Donkey meant that the secret to her contentment is losing perspective, because if she had any perspective at all, she’d realize that she’s an offensively useless, universally despised pseudointellectual donkey.

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