And For Her Latest Attention Whore Stunt…

Thank Greg the world can now rest assured that Julia is not with burro! This is part of some elaborate ruse to explain Goat Soap’s absence from Burning Man, right?

    Important – does anyone know a doctor in LA who treats men who is awake right now? It’s a minor emergency.

    @JuliaAllison don’t all doctors treat both sexes besides gynos? #justsayin

    @Bkyancy That’s exactly what I just asked myself when I read @JuliaAllison post. :)

    @WendyW_A @Bkyancy – Point is, I don’t mean ob-gyn, LOL. I didn’t want people to speculate that I’m pregnant. NOT PREGNANT!

    @JuliaAllison why do you think people would speculate that you are pregnant? Such an odd response.

In other news, Pettifogger had a party, and it sure looks like “keeping my family’s last name and home address private” or “Peter ever getting new headshots” are no longer priorities! Peter, seriously, let Raul take you shopping, that suit is not the look.

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177 Responses to And For Her Latest Attention Whore Stunt…

  1. Cowboys & Brayliens says:

    It’s the ever-elusive reverse-OBO. Goat Soap doesn’t have a ticket, or has expressed an interest in not actually going to what will, this year, be a massive duststorm of epic proportions, and had a bout of the runs from eating too much catfish. Therefore, Donk is lightly telling him not to go.

    Meanwhile, she’s undoubtably planning on acquiring an amount of e or shrooms and running around demanding kisses and more.

    (Of course, the moment she steps out of her RV her skin will be flayed by the flying playa dirt, but that’s another story.)

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      [img]http://indiana.laxallstars.com/files/2011/05/A-winner-is-you.jpg[/img]

    • Malformed Face says:

      She is NOT letting this Goat off the hook for Burning Man. No way. Is she concocting a story because he doesn’t want to go? Most definitely. But she is stomping her hooves if he doesn’t.

      • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

        You’re assuming that she really likes Goat Soap and is not in fact using him as some sort of post-reality-show cover story / angle to try to get a Miss Advised Season 2 to actually happen…

        • Malformed Face says:

          That’s true. You’ve got me there. And I find it hard to believe she likes a guy whose only means of transpo is a bike, who has less of a job than her and lives is a dilapidated apartment downtown.

          Never mind the gummy grin which is to vom!

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Whether she really cares for him or not, if he doesn’t go to BM with her, it’s going to look more and more like a fake relationship.

  2. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    Call me frivolous, but I just kant Pettifogger’s shoes.

    They look like he bought them in Wal-Mart in 1994 and has worn them every day since.

  3. You seem disproportionately angry! says:

    “Guests included […] and the Baughers’ daughter, Julia Allison Baugher, a rising media star who recently wrapped up season one of “Miss Advised,” a Bravo reality show about three former relationship columnists (yes, she was one).”

    Maybe I have reading comprehension fail, but is that not a dig at her being a so-called “relationship columnist”? On her father’s publicity piece, no less? Ahahaha.

    • Pearipathetic donkey says:

      Ha! Rising media star? It is to laugh! I see Julie told them she was a former columnist. Did she tell them her current occupation? Professional burner and girlfriend. What does it matter, once those Burning Man pictures are posted everyone is going to think she is a stripper.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      Risible media scar. FTFY.

    • Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

      She totally wrote that. The cute parenthetical sarcastic addendum is one of her hallmarks as being one of the worst writers I’ve ever encountered.

  4. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    Article:
    They also wanted to take advantage of a giant tent in the Baughers’ yard. It had been set up for a neighbor’s wedding held there a few days before, so the Baughers squeezed in their own party before the tent was carted away.

    Transbraytion:
    The Baughers are so cheap that, to save in rental and cleaning costs, decided to reuse a tent that has been left behind on their yard from a previous party. They served microwaved leftovers in used plates and fizzless Australian champagne at room temperature. The centerpiece of the desserts table was a half-eaten wedding cake.

    • opdop says:

      I actually don’t think so. I’ve seen this done before, even in very wealthy homes.

    • Not! Random! says:

      There were subtle digs aplenty in that article. Totally agree that the Baughers come off as complete and total cheapskates who would never have hosted a charity event if the tent were on their own dime. And opdop, “wealthy” is certainly not the opposite of “cheap.”

      • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

        Yeah, that needless bit of information read like a dig to me. The use of leftover tenting seemed completely irrelevant, so why mention it otherwise?

      • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

        Yes, the article was full of passive aggression.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      It’s super cheap to use the tent that was there for another party. Those tents are usually taken down within 24 hours to be used for other locations. My guess is her parents wouldn’t let the crew back to dismantle and they snuck their guests in during the dead of night. Ahhh what a lovely family of free loaders.

  5. Bravo's Bitch says:

    Not to seem like a donkey but can someone direct me to JuliasPublicist email address? I can’t find it since I am Web impaired today thanks. Also at 2:45 I am having worst day evahhhhh. Fell down in street(dang 5 inch heels), skinned knees, everything including iPad and eyeglasses went flying, people were HONKING at me instead of helping me. Then I went into a Barnes and Noble to check on the damage, sat down on a bench and a man sat near me. Took a glance and it was my dad who I haven’t spoken to in YEARS(long story) said hello and he looked at me, got up and walks out without a word. Fuck Fridays

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      omg, that sounds rough, sorry!
      juliasbadpress at gmail

      • Bravo's Bitch says:

        Thanks. What is wrong with humanity? Not my dad, he’s always been a dick, but other people? Who doesn’t help others? Open a door? Ask? Unless they try to take your parking space in the grocery store lot. Then bitch it be on.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

          If you’re Donkey, forget taking her parking place; it’s on if you don’t give her your parking place.

          • Bravo's Bitch says:

            I still cant get over that story. The sense of entitlement is incredible for that burro.

        • Donkarena says:

          I would have helped in that situation. Sorry about your bad day — that really stinks. Luckily, there’s a new one starting in a matter of hours!

        • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

          Bravo’s Bitch, you might need the sammich-and-vicodin services of our good Dr. Gary.

          • EyeRoller says:

            About that post tweet– Every bitch worth her weight in penny stocks knows Dr. Gary’s the only decent Dr. available late at night who’s paying any attention to Donk. Dr. Gary, tell us– Is she pregnant or not? Does Goat Soap’s weeweez hurt when he peepeez? Did Donk ask you to write an ambien scrip so she and Daddy Baugher could drug Raul and scour his laptop?

    • jane says:

      Sorry bb. Hugs.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I am so sorry all of that happened to you, especially the dad stuff. It sounds like a particularly depressing Rick Moody short story!

    • Jelly Roll says:

      That sucks in at least 6 different ways. So sorry you’re having a shitty one!

    • EyeRoller says:

      Sorry ’bout your day. Family circumstances are forcing me to see my mother next week after not seeing her in years. I’m not looking forward to it, so if it makes you feel better, I’d much rather her accidentally sit near me in a bookstore and immediately get up and walk away. Hang in, things change.

      • Bravo's Bitch says:

        Good luck! I think a planned meeting is even worse because you work up the knots in your stomach about it. This is really mean but my grandmother(Nutty but not moneybags) is extremely ill and I’m more freaked out about having to go to a funeral and engage with those people than her actual death. So I feel for you.

        • EyeRoller says:

          True about the stomach knots in preparation. Coincidentally enough, my mother and I are forced back together by illness/impending death of my grandfather, the sanest one in my family who I will truly miss. My mother is a “difficult” person– she doesn’t speak to her children or her parents, so I think I relate to what you’re saying about your father. Good luck to you too. I think we’ll make it…

    • darling dearest says:

      but are you pregnant?

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

        She hasn’t denied it recently, so it’s safe to assume that she is.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      What an epically bad day, and heartbreaking about your dad’s behavior. My own father is dead (so we get along much better) but there was certainly a period when I was a teenager/early twenties that he would have done the same to me. We can only hope, with such men, that their lives are their own reward.

      • Bravo's Bitch says:

        Thanks, the weird part is that we live 20 minutes away from each other and haven’t spoken in 10 years and never run into each other.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          Could I ask (and ignore if not) why he got up and walked away? Or what you think the reason is? My own dad would have offered up something vague concerning “rebellion,” “failure to honor Fatherly authority,” and “foments insurrection” or whatever, but in truth his new wife had told him he wasn’t allowed to see or speak to his children. Very simple.

          • Bravo's Bitch says:

            Jeepers that stinks. We should all trade email addresses and start a shitty parent forum haha. My own is both of us being too stubborn over ridiculous minutia that I can’t even remember. But I’m not making the first move, and I’m sticking to it.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        My own father is dead (so we get along much better)

        I find this works well for me, too. Even though I sometimes do find myself yelling at my mum, 36 years after her death!

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          I sometimes yell at your mom, too. Mostly I just ask her to give messages to my dad.

  6. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

    How did people get medical attention before Twitter? American healthcare has come a long way.

  7. EyeRoller says:

    I know Big Daddy Baugher has a freeway-long list of accomplishments, degrees, and high profile business associates, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s fucking creepy looking. He reminds me of these old rich bathhouse basement perverts I used to encounter at gay “spas”, who’d grab the hem of my towel and try to drag me into their dark little rented sex stalls for a dirty fuck. Yes, at one point in time I was a young, innocent trick, go figure…

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I don’t know why he can’t buy a suit that fits properly. Seriously, Pettifogger, go to Mark Shale and get a decent suit. Or if you must shop at Brooks Brothers, let them do alterations.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Decent alterations aren’t cheap!

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        What’s wrong with Brooks Brothers? I have a few of their suits and I like them but I’m retarded when it come to fashion. I’m not internalizing just want to know? Am I doing it wrong?

        • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

          Blue suit, grey suit, black suit, tailored. It’s not that hard.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Mark Shale has nicer suits, and Pettifogger could afford them.

          But there is absolutely nothing wrong with Brooks Brothers, except that the suits are cut kind of baggy and Pettifogger clearly doesn’t have them tailored properly. I just assume he shops at Brooks Brothers because Princeton, and that he doesn’t have the proper alterations because he’s too Aspergery to bother and Mama Bird doesn’t insist. Thus he looks like a scarecrow at all times.

    • opdop says:

      i can see that… but he also reminds me of many slightly aspergerish nerdy princeton grads i’ve dated, who don’t really know how to dress properly but are, in the end, harmless.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Yes, I’ve met many of those types in bathhouse basements as well.

      • (yes, she was one) says:

        Ask the innocent people he harassed with legal threats regarding this blog just how “harmless” this asshole creeper is.

  8. Don Quixote says:

    People only say “I’m not pregnant” when they WANT people to think they are. She really is trying to single-handedly start her own pregnancy rumor. Pathetic.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      Seriously. It wasn’t part of the conversation until she put it there. She’s at least suggesting that she’s thinking about pregnancy and might soon be pregnant.

      When a woman I don’t know to be pregnant asks for immediate medical help, my first thought isn’t OMG KNOCKED UP. It’s more along the lines of “apply continuous pressure to staunch the bleeding. Even if she asks on Twitter.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Donk wants to make sure everyone knows she is having lots of sexy sex.

  9. Malformed Face says:

    In 24 hours she’s gone up 15,000 Twitter followers.

    When she Tweeted her man’s medical emergency, she got two responses. Both who gave her shit for it.

    Pathetic.

    • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

      It is going up RIGHT NOW.

      Seriously.

      Go to her Twitter page and keep hitting refresh. She is gaining 4-5 followers every few seconds.

      (To give you an idea: this is faster than how quickly NASA mohawk guy picked up followers the night the Mars mission landed)

      • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

        …and they are ALL fake. Just sample one or two of them.

        – Registered on or around July 7th.
        – One to five tweets to get around Twitter’s obvious spambot filters.
        – The name, location, and url have nothing in common (a guy named Steve who has a url pointing to a Facebook page from a girl named Nikki)

        These three things make it very hard for a machine to be able to distinguish a fake twitter follower from a real one, but to a person it’s blatantly obvious that they’re fake with only cursory investigation.

        • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

          It would be amazeballs if this tidbit of info could be leaked to some online pub that actually cares enough to write about her any more.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        holy shit you’re right!

        PS.
        [img]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8lkftp7II1r3uioi.jpg[/img]

    • KS says:

      If you need any more definitive proof she has no real followers, this is it. A plea for medical attention answered by two people, both of whom are obviously following her just because she is a joke.

      Tens of thousands of people, eh? She is so shortsighted to think people aren’t going to know she paid for followers once those fake-finding algorithms improve a bit more. How embarrassing because you can’t force the fakes to unfollow you en masse. You just look like some idiot who paid a lot of money to sham people and companies. I can’t wait for her to hit some absurdly high number like 500,000 that make people investigate WHY she is so seemingly popular and gets called out all over the place.

    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      Let’s see if she surpasses 130,000 today… Good grief.

      • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

        At the rate it’s increasing, she’ll be over 130k in less than an hour from now.

        Is this what they’re teaching at those penny stock scamming seminars now? Arbitrage between purchasing twitter followers and selling tweets? For fucks sake, people, how about you actually do something with your life rather than trying to piecemeal a few bucks here and there like a dog does with table scraps.

        • Malformed Face says:

          I checked Lewis Howes twitter and he has recently shot up by 70,000. Lord these grifters.

        • Jordache & the Pelts says:

          It stopped at 128,143. No she never reads here or she ran out of cash.

          • SirClompsAlot says:

            OMG it just occurs to me that she clearly set it up to happen while she’s (passing a) BM so she can say “waaa? I no buy twatters, I was on the playa, hater!”

            Scheming donkey.

  10. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Oh Hai Bunnies its MEERP, RollsShucksforClams!! It has been a while since I raped at ya but I have been having so much fun with my new sexytime boyfriend. Anyhoo sorry to bother you on Twitter but does anyone know of a doctor who would be up and walking around in his office now where I am (3 AM) time who treats men? It is kind of an emergency. First off I am NOT PREGGERS in case you were wonderment, it is nothing like that tee hee!!! It is something else that has to do with men, meaning in this case the bits of my boyfriend that are the man-bits.

    We were getting ready for some sexy times in my little brother’s bedroom because little brother is at summer camp and my room is right next door to mom’s and she has Paul over tonight and he always yells I can hear you from in here pervert, so we went to little brother’s room and were getting into it and I thought maybe he (my sexy boyfriend) would enjoy a sexy thing that you know, some people do before the sexy sex, but I forgot that I was not in my room and picked up the wrong tube. And now there is an emergency. I hate model airplanes. Please excuse mistakes am typing with one hand.

  11. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

    Annnnd she deleted the original tweet in which she asks for medical help, but not the one in which she clarifies for all her fans that she is NOT PREGNANT. LOLDONKEY.

  12. Worrisome Pelts says:

    The “massage” pic! So. Proud. I’ll bet it makes Raul feel funny in his NOT PREGNANT parts.

    • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

      everytime we mention Raul I think of Raul Esparza, who is gorgeous and talented and would not deserve a closeted life with Petey Bogger. (Yep I’m a crazed fan-girl)

  13. EyeRoller says:

    That tweet was just Donkey auditioning for TLC’s new show “I Didn’t Know I Wasn’t Pregnant”.

  14. Whiny Bitch Spoiled says:

    Peter Baugher is gayer than the floor drain in Kevin Spacey’s shower.

  15. Albie Quirky says:

    Y’all, I am so not pregnant right now. Thought you would all want to know. Really. Really unpregs.

  16. KS says:

    Possible reasons they needed a man doctor late at night. Go.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Hot “naughty-nursie” porno threesome.

    • KS says:

      Donkey undercooked something and goat soap spilled his goat soup all over the bathroom.

      Goat Soup broke his dick trying to enter the cobwebbed, clam dungeon.

      Peter Baugher accidentally the family tea set and it won’t come out.

    • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

      Donk was gulping for shoes and, while gazing at her iPhone in the middle of the deed, perused the previous RBD thread and had an instinctual reaction of clenching her teeth. Goat Soap may or may not be a eunuch now.

      • opdop says:

        i kind of want to change my username to ‘gulping for shoes’

      • KS says:

        gulping for shoes cracks me up. Username now available!

      • SirClompsAlot says:

        LOLOLOLOLOLOL at “gulping for shoes”. My roommate always asks me what I’m down in the basement laughing so hard at … its you fellow catladies. I came here a few weeks ago after first hearing of Julia on MissAdvised and have stuck around for the LOLs. I don’t give a shit about what the Donkey’s up to anymore but this is the funniest satire I’ve ever read on the internet. You kids are hilarious commenters!

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        With the size of her fake chompers this would be a potential fatality!

    • Tingolayo says:

      She really meant that she needed “a doctor for men who are awake”– she needed to slip Goat Soap a mickey so she could snoop through his phone.

    • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

      The rainbow tutu cock ring won’t come off.

    • 11th Wang says:

      Because Julia has a weiner?

      • 11th Wang says:

        I’ve always cringed at the weiner jokes, but the weiner joke’s punchline has finally arrived.

        It is to laugh.

  17. Random Snowflake says:

    Wow.. I just went to Julia’s Twitter page, waited about 10 seconds, then refreshed. Sure enough, she had gained 4 new followers.

    One of them was this fellow named “Lisa.” Brand new account, 3 bullshit tweets in the last 6 weeks since starting, and the fucking photo is of a guy. NO DONK, YOU’RE NOT BUYING TWITTER FOLLOWERS AT ALL!! They’re all 100% REAL FANS! :)

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/mwRWU.png[/img]

  18. Anonymous says:

    0% Good. Just like her personality…

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/Q0BoG.png[/img]

  19. tutusandtiaras says:

    Bored at work, and just watched her gain 1,000 new followers in about a half hour.

    I can’t.

    • Malformed Face says:

      LOL, up 3,000 followers from 3 hours ago.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Weird. Her page (right now) says she has 125, 923 followers, but click on her ‘favorites’ & it shows (right now) 128,143 followers … why so diff?

  20. KashMoney says:

    If I can offer another theory–

    She is so delusional that she genuinely thinks this site is lies based on nothing other than an amorphous hate/jealous/Franzia. So in her head, mentioning a doctor will be taken by us unscrupulous jealous liars as grounds for a post about how she is possibly pregnant.

    That is how detached she is about this site being about the real her, and why she has not changed her behavior AT ALL despite being called out on it publicly and constantly for YEARS.

  21. SirClompsAlot says:

    LOL I was just reading the Gallery Girls recap on the Frisky and in the first sentence they apologized for running the recap late:

    “Okay, so we’re a little late on recapping the new Bravo show ‘Gallery Girls.’ We’ve Julia Allison-ed our responsibilities.”

    Lazy donkey’s lazy.

  22. Helena (Sexy Baconface) says:

    Hey haters, does anyone happen to know of any firefighter who’s awake RIGHT THE FUCK NOW and saves menz from fire?? It’s a minor emergency – there’s a sexy boy with me in my dilapidated bedroom, and he just lit a cig. Tee hee, you know what was so good that he just needed a smoke afterward? ;) Anyway, I only mention that I need firefighters who save men specifically so it’s clear that I’m not pregnant. Love and light!

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      Hi! I am great fan of yours, Helena. You are amazeballs and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO INSPIRATIONAL to young women out there.
      You are AWESOME!!

      Give me your address, I am not a firefighter but I would love to pee on your fire.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      The catpeeps are fucking slaying me tonight with genius snark.

  23. DONKBAD says:

    HELLPO TWEETER THERE IS A EMERGENCY IN THE BEDROOM ITS VERY IMPORTANT I HAVE A DOCTOR WHO HAS SEEN A PENIS COME TO MY BEDROOM RIGHT NOW (BUT NOT THE KIND WHO MAKES YOU PEE ON A STICK AND MAKES U AND DATE WITH ANOTHER CUTE DOCTOR AS LOG AS IT IS IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS OTHERWISE YOU HAVE TO THREW YOURSELF DOWN THE STAIRS A FEW TIMES BEFORE THEY HANDLE IT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LOL? I JUST MEAN NOT KINDS FOR A VIGANA BUT FOR AN ACTUAL PENIS OR FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ONE LOL RIGHT?) RIGHT NOW IS VERY IMPOTENT BECAUSE IT IS IMPOTENT IT HAPPEN RIGHT NOW AND NOT LATER AND I AM DEFINITELY NOT PREGNAT BECAUSE I ONLY SWALLOW WHEN IM IT IS STIGMATA WEEK AND YOU CANT GET PREGNET THEN.

    ANYWAY PLEASE TELL THIS MAN-DOCTOR ITS AN EMERGENCY THAT HE COME RIGHT NOW TO HELP ME. I KNOW I CAN TRUST U TWEETER TO MAKE THE GUY DOCTOR COME AND HELP BECAUSE IT IS ONLY 3 AND ITS NOT EVEN LIGHT OUT AND NO ONE GOES TO SLEEP THAT ERALY. (LIKE WHO DOES THAT? LOL?)

    THANK YOU TWITTER AND PLESE DONT SENT THAT STUPID “LET ME SEARCH FOR THAT FOR U” LINK ANYMORE BECAUSE IT IS STUPID AND NOT EVEN VERY HELPFUL BECASE IT HAS TOO MANY WORDS AND IS NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE BOLD TITTED LIKE ME AND NEED HELP RIGHT NOWWWWW!

    KTHAX I WILL BE STANDING BY THE WINDOW FOR YOR DOCTORS TO SHOW UP BUT TELL HMI NOT TO RING THE DOORBELL BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE SLEEPING AND DONT KNOW MY BOYFRIEND IS IN MY ROOM. LOL XOXO

  24. Guess she got her re-grifting skills from Dad$er, eh? Reusing the tent is the fundraiser equivalent of juicy track suits for sale?

    OT: I just kant with her today. My unemployment benefits finally ran out and I’m a moody mess. (Seriously, I will do ANYTHING for money right now.) At least the NYC homeless shelters are swanky, according to the ever truthful and honest Bloomberg! Her continual ability to get so much as such a complete scam artist and failure is definitely getting to me today.

  25. Tonyamichaela says:

    I’ve been thinking, OK drinking, and Paris Hilton used to be the ultimate fame whore, but know Kim Kardashian is. So who is Julia’s Kim? When does the Julia snarkfest end? In a few years, will this be Reblogging The New Julia? I’m ride or die and will hate Julia forever, no matter how hateable her replacement is.

    • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

      I think her Kim is Meghan McCain. See Meghan’s videos on Daily Beast for proof.

    • afghani says:

      MckMama or KERF. Or maybe Kayla from Kayla & Checkers.

    • my blocked writing says:

      Hoping it’s someone from Gallery Girls. Love every one of those catty bitches.

      • Jelly Roll says:

        The poor girl who says she has sex with everyone then confessed to the gay best friend that she’s NEVER had an orgasm. (Same one who explained how happy she gets whenever she gets to talk about herself). Strikes me as the most Juli”esque”.

  26. Ex Spurt says:

    That urgent male doctor required tweet is the most bizarre tweet ever. What the fuck. As a nurse, my first thought was priapism, penile fracture, what the fuckity fuck. But
    then I came to the old standby, Donkey has Fucked in the Head disease (FITH).

    Esmaculated Goatsoap is emasculated.

    • Malformed Face says:

      Having suffered a really bad accident and thanking Greg every day for the man who called 911 – it infuriates me to think that instead it could have been a Donkey, pausing to Tweet everyone first.

      SHE IS A THOUGHTLESS PIG!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I knew a couple in college who had a medical emergency when his foreskin got caught on her braces.

      They were in her room, so he had to bellow for her suitemate to a) call the infirmary and get medical advice, and b) go to the store and get butter and ice as recommended by the ER doc.

      I have been sworn to secrecy about this for almost 30 years, but Now It Can Be Told.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        When you mentioned “call the infirmary,” I realized that Donkey was trying to grift a free phone consultation from a doctor.

      • donniedriveby says:

        OH MY GOD! YOU SWORE YOU’D NEVER TELL!!!

        {kidding…wasn’t me}

        • Jelly Roll says:

          But wait? So you are pregnant? Or you’re not? You brought up a medical story – so I just assume…

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      It reads to me like she was not sober when she wrote it. I like pointing and laughing at Donkey a whole lot but I’m not sure I can take a Donkey who is just now experimenting with drugs (at least, those not of the prescription pill kind).

  27. my blocked writing says:

    Does anyone know of a private detective who treats
    women? I have misplaced my beer.

  28. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Is she running a shill operation at Burning Man?

    @JuliaAllison: @jvalentineinc – I’m driving up to Burning Man tomorrow with an RV full of your amazing, magical costumes!!!
    12:13 AM – 25 Aug 12

    J. Valentine, Inc. ‏@jvalentineinc: @JuliaAllison Yay!! Have an amazing time! So jealous :)
    2:50 AM – 25 Aug 12

    @JuliaAllison: Burners, come visit me at my camp – Ideate (6:30 & C)!! I’m running Costume Central so I’ll deck you out in pink tutus!
    2:59 AM – 25 Aug 12

    @JuliaAllison: A huge thank you to @jvalentineinc @yandy & @tutuspirit for donating so many SEXY, FUN, CREATIVE costumes to Costume Central at Burning Man!
    3:04 AM – 25 Aug 12

    Tutu Spirit ‏@TutuSpirit: Julia Allison, star of the hit show Miss Advised is a big tutu fan. http://fb.me/1ynulXKDA
    2:49 PM – 15 Aug 12

    @JuliaAllison: I AM OBSESSED with this Tutu website!!! http://www.tutuspirit.com/
    1:14 PM – 15 Aug 12

    • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

      Notice she always “@”s her corporate shill accounts but never @BurningMan. Hmmm. Wonder why that is?

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/1yl1dy.png[/img]

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      Subtle, this one. (Dropping in screen caps because you know she’ll eliminate the evidence if called out on her flagrant contamination of the spirit of Burning Man.)

      [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/25tfbk6.png[/img]

  29. CountMeInDaisy says:

    We don’t care whether or not you’re pregnant, CheesyDonk. And we really, really don’t care about GoatSoap’s issues with his erection (or the lack thereof). Maybe if you start sucking up to Cialis or Viagra enough, you’ll get some free samples for him.

  30. mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

    Oh, oh, oh! I was reading the Kelaighly See thread someone (EyeRoller?) linked the other day, and I want to point out I called ‘fake pregnancy’ almost a year to the day!

    Here, in the always amusing (for me) listical of search terms.

  31. EyeRoller says:

    Ho’ly Shit. Just THIS and I’ll give you mofos a break I swear:

    The wayback IntrntNvrFrgts time machine took me to this ’07 CNN clip (uploaded by JA herself), where she appears on CNN to talk about television viewers being mean, specifically about the public’s harsh criticism of very bad American Idol auditioners. This is more than hilarious, half past sad, and oh so telling:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZs97Zdosek

    She defends the critics, which in today’s context, makes me think she’d be more appreciative of this site. Her quotes include “Everyone loves a train wreck” and “it’s not like they’re drowning puppies”, and “they’re just telling bad singers they’re bad singers”, and continues, smirking and giggling about the contestants, “and that they’re ugly too.”

    Here’s your diploma from FU Donk, because much of what I see on this site is the thing you were defending on CNN. There’s laughter and some really attentive, insightful people telling a bad donkey she’s a bad donkey. Now exit stage wrong you braying mantis. PS She looked #stiffcheese back then but still really good, several faces ago. Nowadays Donkey officially has a “face for radio”. Ah, a giant pearl necklace from the shaft of Ol’ “Karmic Samsara”. Isn’t that what she calls it?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      “Exit stage wrong.” Howling.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Whoa! Looks-wise, D0nkey peaked at age 26 & then proceeded to become an hysterical trannywreck in her own right.

    • Donkarena says:

      Oh, EyeRoller, this is such gold. From a procedural standpoint, this SHOULD shut up every one of her “defenders” (read: staff), but of course, it doesn’t.

  32. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    riiiiiight because when i need a doctor i always tweet about where to find one. phone books and google search are SO overrate. :P

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