A Trip Down Memory Lane: Donkey Brays About Meeting The Parents

[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6nn8gNRfxE']

Soooooo sooooo loud. And a timely glimpse into how mental she is about her parents and her boyfriends. Love when Mary yells “YOU LIE!” at her.

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360 Responses to A Trip Down Memory Lane: Donkey Brays About Meeting The Parents

  1. LEFOOLIEH says:

    goatye soup is the new first

  2. Ineffably protracted cankle says:

    I always forget how good and sane these videos make Mary look.
    Donks, your advice is terrible.

    • CDB says:

      Ha …. I know you all know I lurve Mary so I agree. Also notice the body language that everytime JAB talks, Mary leans so far away she is almost out of the frame and Megan almost has to pull her back in!

      • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

        Mary’s pretty much all BitchPlease all the time in this video. I watched with the sound off and CC on (the best way) and yes, Mary’s leaning back like she’s trying to avoid Hurricane Cray.

    • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

      For the benefit of us noobs, do these women have anything to do with her any more? They were the ones she launched non-society with, right? Do they stilltalkmto her? Do they hate her and leak tidbits?

      Forgive me, I am still boning up on my Donkology.

      • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

        (Damn iPad keyboard)

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Mary kind of publicly broke away, while Megan did so more stealthily. Only Jacy & JP would know, but it doesn’t appear that they tip this site. They probably want nothing to do with her and regret the day they let her into their lives and ruined their reputations.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        They are publicly friendly, though no longer friends. Mary realized she was nutters early on; Meghannaise had the realization around the time that Donkey was terrorizing people who commented under their own names on RBNS/RBD, including someone who was a friend and contact of Meghan’s. Meghan is also close to OMG Randi Zuckerberg OMG OMG, and Donk has apparently been trying to use her to get back into Randi’s good graces, but Meghannaise is resisting.

        I don’t know if they directly tipped us, but certainly people very close to them did and have, probably with their blessing. Sometimes we got tips with such behind-the-scenes detail, however, that it could have been one of them.

        • JFA says:

          What are you talking about? JA and Randi are still close friends. How dare you.

        • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

          Jacy, do you think Donk is working the OMG Randi OMG and Meghan angle to finagle herself on the Silicon Valley show?

  3. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    The carefully displayed bottles of BPC made me chuckle. As if they’re the American Idol judges or something.

  4. Donk. Donk. Who's There? says:

    Watching that awful vid on mute would be amusing if I didn’t hate her fucking guts. She is incapable of listening. She’s either hee-hawing, waving her arms or pretending to listen by making asinine faces or or looking fake shocked or blinking and shaking her greasy head. UGH. I’m having a day and it’s only 9am and blech I can’t stand her. I should only come to RBD when I’m in a good mood. Sorry rant.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I was reminded in this of those inflatable wavy-arms dolls outside car dealerships.

      • Don Quixote says:

        Wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man!

      • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

        Albie, in times of stress or discouragement my youngest kitten and I send each other flailing arm gifs or vids. They are an excellent coping mechanism!

        [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/1m52e.gif[/img]

  5. Can-Swiss says:

    My fav moment, Donkey: “I don’t think you should be yourself”.

    • juliajane says:

      All of her advice is so bad it’s beyond even parody.

      • JFA says:

        I like the whole “Give your bf a list of things to talk about/not talk about.” That’s not at all condescending, batshit insane, or controlling.

        She’s a cunt.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Her go-to, default advice is always to lie or misrepresent yourself. She is a seriously fucked up chick with bizarre parental issues.

      • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

        And telling them what they want to hear. I wonder if Goat Soap was given the full dossier of note cards on her parents.

    • 11th Wang says:

      “There’s nothing wrong with lying to the grandmother.”

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      Well, that’s obviously working so well for her, isn’t it? Oh, wait…

    • Factory Seconds says:

      I love that the sentence was delivered as if she was saying it sarcastically, but the tone was that of Donkey honesty.

  6. juliajane says:

    It’s so sad that she’s introduced virtually every man she’s ever dated more than a week to her parents. And then nagged them into introducing her to theirs. The pomp and pageantry is so pathetically transparent.

  7. Rld says:

    CDB, your girl Mary is a lady. She says everything she is thinking without saying a word.

  8. JFA says:

    The screen cap says enough. Mare Mare’s bad hair/wardrobe…Meghtard WAYYY overreacting to something because she sucks on camera. Julia making a “very important point” that requires hand gestures.

    RIP, TMI Weakly.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      The beauty of that screenshot though was that Meghannaise was throwing back her head in disbelief over some ridiculous piece of “JUST LIE” advice Donk had just doled out and Mary is looking at the camera as if to say: “This chick is fucking CRAZY.”

  9. iwasinside says:

    I used to work for NNN and you wouldn’t believe the crap that the producers left on the cutting room floor from these segments. Donk is shockingly boring, despite the constant braying and lunacy.

  10. JFA says:

    I love wardrobe tips from someone who wears headbands and tulle on a daytime wannabe talk show. Shut up.

  11. EyeRoller says:

    Ryan Lochte just woke up, watched this video, and fell back down on his bed laughing hysterically.

  12. JFA says:

    Also yeah gee I wonder why they hated the new married boyfriend you dumped your attorney fiance for…so hard to understand…why parents would not like that guy. I don’t care what anyone says I still feel sorry for her parents, even if they are major asshats. They have to deal with this the REST OF THEIR LIVES.

  13. JFA says:

    She had notecards about all her boyfriends. She had so many boyfriends just DYING to have her meet their families that she made notecards. It was very hard to keep her very demanding lovelife straight.

    If this is true, which it isn’t, it’s only probably because she would stay up late at night comparing the notecards, trying to determine which guy she would stalk the hardest based on his familial credentials. She’s a lunatic.

    • KashMoney says:

      or how to keep the narrative straight.

      • JFA says:

        Seriously.

        Jim
        -Law student I met hanging out at law library showing my cleavage.
        -Father Harvard educated doctor
        -parents still married (aw!)
        -Parents house worth $1.2 million
        -Spent approx. $85 on our first date.
        -No summer home.
        -Feelings about marriage still a mystery.
        -Okay body, nothing to write home about.
        -Has expressed interest in working in the nonprofit sector after graduation (boo!)
        -Dropped hints about Chanel bag I was interested in at least 3 times. So far no bites.

    • Factory Seconds says:

      The way she explained it made it sound like she started a new notecard each time she met a new dude. Like, each card was a work in progress until she was invited to meet the parents.

  14. CountMeInDaisy says:

    Ah, CheesyDonks.

    Problem numero uno: Did you ever think they break up with you (notice I said BREAK UP with YOU, because I’m pretty sure they always did the dumping) right before meeting your parents because…you make it into such a huge deal, and make it into a deal breaker? As nervous as you make these poor men, I would dump your ass beforehand too.

    Problem number 2: …A turtleneck. To meet his parents, a turtleneck? Yes, because you’re in such a position to tell other people how to impress their boyfriends parents when Cindy McCain hated you. Obviously, you’re doin’ somethin’ wrong. More importantly, you make yourself out to be nice, and sweet, and normal, but then the turtleneck comes off, and the ass emerges. Because you are a psycho hosebeast.

    Problem Tres: OXFORD AND A MOTHERFUCKING TIE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. No, just, no. You might be into misrepresenting yourself to his parents, but making the poor guy wear a tie? That’s cruel and unusual punishment. Again, seein’ why they dumped you beforehand. No man wants to be dressed as though they are a child. And don’t get me started on the cheat sheet, or the note cards. Was this later used as resources for stalking, I wonder?

    Problem 4: …I’m sorry, no, on a first meeting with the parents, you do not talk politics, and I thought everyone knew that. There’s a polite way to get around that too, as the co-host to the right demonstrates.

    Beginning to remember why I always had a headache during Miss Advised. HEE HAW, much?

    • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

      Discussing politics with the rents seems especially foolish since her parents and grandparents are die-hard conservatives, and she is generally conservative except when she’s not and yet she claims she only dates liberals since she ‘learned her lesson on that.’ I mean, WTF?

      • Jelly Roll says:

        There are obviously very smart conservatives and very smart liberals. The savviest of both groups can argue with each other, vehemently oppose each other’s views, and still find a way to get along. I’m guessing she has to align herself with whatever the dude/’s family is – so that if a conversation involving politics comes up she can get away with just nodding and braying along.

  15. Don Quixote says:

    The only thing that got me through that video without shooting myself in the face was Meghan’s constant eye-rolling at all of julia’s *true-life* stories and advice.

    I honestly am appalled that she said “I don’t think you should be yourself.” That sure is some stand-up, wonderful advice to give to all the young girls out there.

    She’s horrendous.

    • JFA says:

      It’s amazing how normal she makes the others look in comparison. Everything they say sounds healthy and normal. “I always buy a gift.” “I let my guy stand on his own two feet.” EVERYTHING out of Donkey’s mouth in comparison is just literally batshit insane.

      • Don Quixote says:

        Seriously. Giving a guy flashcards before he meets your parents just shows that you aren’t confident in your partner’s character, and it flat-out indicates that you don’t think your parents will like him/her as they are.

        Girl needs to get a desk job, and never dole out “advice” in front of a camera ever again.

    • Learned Paw says:

      The “don’t be yourself” advice is pretty sound. You have to remember that in some occasions yourself is the stalker.

  16. Tingolayo says:

    Oh my god. Who are these people and how did they get an online “show”? God forbid any young women actually listened and took their advice. It’s not 1952 and you’re not in high school. Maybe if your young man impresses your father, Dad will let him take you to prom in his hotrod.

    Julia doesn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise. And what’s with the constant pointing at people with the gun hands? I noticed that in Miss Advised. Very Carrie Bradshaw, natch.

    A turtleneck? Seriously? “I do not have breasts and your son and I are not having sex.” Who appointed her an expert on anything?!

    • darling dearest says:

      “Who appointed her an expert on anything?!”

      she did

    • Stage 5 clinger says:

      I was thinking the same thing as I watched Meghan nodding her head up and down vigorously with an “ohhhhh girl you know it” expression when Mary said (DUH), “Make sure you offer to help clean up after dinner.”

      OMG, rully? Yeah, like, I guess that’s, like, a smart idea! It totally would have like never occurred to me, though. High five, TMI!

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        But you know there is no fucking way that Donkey ever does.

        • Pearipathetic donkey says:

          She doesn’t need to, she has a picture of herself washing dishes in pearls. I bet this is not too far off from her actual way of thinking.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/2m3ff50.jpg[/img]

          • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

            You didn’t “like” the last 375 pictures I posted on facebook?

            I will kill you with my bare hands! Prepare to die, scumbag!

            (there is something sinister about that picture)

          • Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

            Yes, sinister for that I’m-going-to-kill-you look, but also…how the heck is that photo taken! I mean, every kitchen sink I’ve ever seen has a window on the other side of it. So either this is one of those weird island sinks, or someone is standing on the other side of a window to take the pic. It’s freaking odd.

          • Scooby Don't says:

            I get a very ” Serial Mom” vibe from that picture!

  17. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    My canklehausen is through the roof.

    Jesusfriggingchrist, Donks! Calm the f down! You are just playing talkshow with your friends.

    There is really no need to desperately shuffle your hooves in the air as if you were drowning and the last lifeboat just left. And stop pointing your sausegingers at people while you talk, girl. If you keep doing it, you are gonna poke Meghanaisse’s eyes out, for Greg’s sake!

    There is not enough ointment in the world….

    • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

      that last sentence was pretty much what i was whispering to myself, while rocking in the corner of my room, during every episode of Miss Advised.

  18. Factory Seconds says:

    Okay, so I know this makes me even more of a gay than I am, but I hate Meghan’s dress considering it’s the week before Thanksgiving (and also considering that it’s being worn).

    Also, Donkey wore a turtleneck to meet the McCain family, right?

    • JFA says:

      poor girl almost uniformly dressed in sacks. And she desperately needs to get her split ends trimmed. She’s special.

      • Jelly Roll says:

        She’s a beautiful girl, but TERRIBLE on camera. (Has about the skill level of a 5th grader starring in their first school play). So she’s gorgeous but not camera or fashion savvy – just someone who actually knows her stuff. Funny…. everything JABA was pretending to be.

        • Donkarena says:

          and there’s something about her input in these videos — the comments are insipid, useless; not the type of thing a polished speaker with years of experience in her craft, YET, she delivers AS IF she is. At 31, after braying to anyone who will listen that she has a decade of journalistic and dating advice experience — it would SHOW in my comments. She just sounds like a spoiled, low-IQ, grifting college kid (on the prowl for a wallet because she has no other plan and is too lazy to hone a craft and career of her own) who still lives off her parents. Her emotional maturity is about 18 or 20 years of age.

  19. Leased D-Class TaskRabbit Boyfriend (formerly Floppy) says:

    How her exes dealt with “READ THESE FLASH CARDS, YOU’RE GOING TO MEET MY PARENTS!!” *PTERODACTYL SCREECH*

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/VJrcM.gif[/img]

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      OMG. Is that the drunk from Trailer Park Boys?

      • Scooby Don't says:

        You got it Jacy
        That’s Mr. Lahey.
        We just need a shirtless Randy to complete the picture.

      • Burra Fea says:

        Yes, its Mr. Leahy! My favorite quote is when shirtless Randy asks him if its him saying something or the liquor talking and he replies, “Randy, I AM the liquor.”

        Speaking of alcoholics, I gasped when Donks did the chugging motion describing her ex’s drinking habit. Rude and tacky.

    • MY Beach Home says:

      Oh dear lord, my two guilty pleasures collide! TPB on RBD!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      LOVE the Trailer Park Boys. Have you guys seen the movie? So good. I think you can stream it on Netflix.

      • MY Beach Home says:

        It is amazing. Last time I was in Toronto I bought a bag a zesty mordant chips for my soon to be huscat because he is obsessed with Ricky, who is constantly ordering someone to get him a bag of zesty mordant.

      • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

        I will have to add these to my list. Apparently they are Doritos Zesty Cheese in French. I have a standing order for Ketchup and All Dressed chips for my youngest kitten. It sounds like her huscat who enjoys all things spicy would like these!

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        The movie is hilarious. So is the Christmas special.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      I have to admit it lost something for me when Corey and Trevor left.

  20. EyeRoller says:

    A “relationship expert” whose best love advice is to WEAR TURTLENECKS and NOT BE YOURSELF! Amazing. It’s offensive (and should be illegal) for her to post this Niels Bohr quote (falsely representing herself) on her Facebook page and website in order to justify some sort of “expert” status:

    “The physicist Niels Bohr once defined an expert as ‘a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.'”

    Now she’s a scientist, quoting other genius minds like hers? Yeah, we get the quote Donk– You have to make a lot of mistakes to be an expert, but the whole point is that that so called “expert” also learns from their mistakes and is HIGHLY REGARDED in their field. You my dear, aren’t even in a field, much less respected in one. So let me respond to Donkey’s blaspheming of an actual famous scientist (Niels Bohr hates you Donkey) with another one of his famous quotes:

    “Your theory is crazy, but it’s not crazy enough to be true.”
    Niels Bohr

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Or to add some Wolfgang Pauli to the mix, “That’s not right! That’s not even wrong!”

    • It floats! It floats! says:

      I’m so sick her whole “any mistake that’s been made, I’ve made it” persona. Yes, she’s fucked up over and over again, but it has been pretty much been the same boring fuck up each time.

    • Crazy Eddie says:

      If you fucked up, your advice should be “don’t do this!”. If you got it right, then you can say “hey, maybe you should do this!”

      Now if you don’t know whether turtlenecks or cue cards made any difference at all to the outcome, I guess you can just assume that it did and pass it on as “advice” ;)

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      This thread is brilliant.

  21. BE YOURSELF?

    But how can a Donkey do that when her entire being is one fat lie? And she’s been lying about the stupidest things for so long, she doesn’t even know how she likes her eggs! [Yes, I actually saw Runaway Bride in theatres, it was summertime and my mom took me]

  22. Crazy Eddie says:

    Julia would fit right in at the Aspie group I meet with sometimes.

    Attempting to formulate rules to fit social situations, but those rules keep missing the mark? Check
    Too loud, exaggerated/clumsy gestures? Check
    Limited fashion sense? Check
    Notecards/rehearsals for routine social interactions? Check

    Combine that with things she’s written (overly long, somewhat disjointed) and the things that have been written about her. Misjudging relationship levels. Revealing things that should have been kept secret (and pissing off people whose private facts were revealed). Pissing off people in general and being surprised by their reactions. Struggles with basic life tasks. Odd reaction to a loved one’s passing.

    She’s on the spectrum. (I am too)

    Been there, done that on all of the above. Thankfully, I am not in the public eye, and I have a marketable skill.

    I’m not saying this to say “poor thing is disabled, go easy on her”. The blatant resume-padding and grifting are all on her. The lack of follow-through on her jobs can be put down to executive function issues, but her never seeing a real doctor about those is – again – all on her.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      Wow, this is fascinating. Maybe Aspberger’s has been suggested before with her but not in this clear and detailed way.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      Wow. Thanks so much for this comment. Many diagnoses have been made over the years, but this one is totally new to me, and really interesting.

      May I ask how long you’ve been aware of JABA (sorry, I just don’t recall seeing your user name before) and whether you ‘recognised’ her immediately. Basically, I’d love to hear more about this.

      • Crazy Eddie says:

        I wandered in a few weeks ago, following a link from TWOP’s Miss Advised thread.

        I read through the archives, finding more and more “aspie missteps” I guess you could call them. Stuff I could see myself doing under the right circumstances, stuff I’ve heard of other aspies doing. Then I saw her body language in the videos.

    • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

      I think I’ve been rung.

      • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

        There is collective spectulation that Peter pettifogging Baughers is on the spectrum and watching Missed Advised has convinced me that something is wrong with her.

        • Crazy Eddie says:

          It does run heavily in families.

        • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

          agreed…watching the show made me realize that something is really going on with her.

        • Afghani says:

          Peter is definitely on the spectrum, no doubts about that. It’s much harder to tell about Momser–she seems very corny/folksy, but it’s hard to tell whether she’s hamming it up/playing along or if she could be on the spectrum, too.

    • EyeRoller says:

      Interesting speculation. Meanwhile, satirically speaking, to me Donkey is an insult to:

      1) Life
      2) Asperger’s Syndrome
      3) Pearls

      And she should be sued by:

      1) Greg The Creator
      2) The Collective Struggle of Temple Grandin
      3) The Cultured Pearl Association of America

      • CDB says:

        You are very low on the spectrum my friend

        • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

          Was that in response to me?

        • CDB says:

          oops sorry I though Crazy Ediie wrote that Never Mind,[img]http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee1/drstrust/emily_litella.jpg[/img]

          • Crazy Eddie says:

            So I am very low on the spectrum?

            I can’t argue with that…

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            I think cdb actually means you seem like you are high on the functioning spectrum, runs in my family too but sometimes they do get called “assholes”.

          • CDB says:

            Imperceptible is what I meant

          • Crazy Eddie says:

            I write well (some of us do, others not so much), but flying under the radar in person is much harder for me.

            I guess talking about the spectrum is kind of like talking about air conditioners. Does “turn it down” mean “make it cooler” (lower temperature) or “make it warmer” (do less cooling)?

            Also I edit nearly everything I post to within an inch of its life.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      This is really interesting. I know people have speculated about unspecified developmental issues that make Julia’s parents treat her as a special case, but I always thought, meh, just a particularly loud, conscience-free jerk. Asperger’s, the way you’ve explained it, actually makes sense. There’s definitely something seriously “off” there, and it became much more apparent to me once I had seen Julia in action on Miss Advised week after week.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      So, as far as “Aspie missteps” go, would dressing up in a flag minidress costume (right column of Cuntbunnie cosplay collage) on the anniversary of 9/11 qualify? That one always sort of stunned me, even on the broad spectrum of Donkeytude.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Slutty Flag Costume is number three on my All-Time Inappropriateness Hall of Shame for our Julie (number two being “Keep that helo in the air, babe!” and number one being forever “I was inside.”)

        • Crazy Eddie says:

          Those three are all pretty heinous protocol errors. The reaction she got for them – which I’m sure she did not expect at all when she wrote those things -can teach her to be way more careful about what she says/posts in public if she hits the learn button.

          It’s frustrating having to second-guess everything you say before you say it. For one thing, in-person conversations don’t go all that well. But if that’s what it takes to avoid crossing these kinds of lines, well so be it.

      • Crazy Eddie says:

        Yes I think it counts. It was probably intended as a gesture of commemoration and respect, like plenty of other folks do to mark the occasion. For instance, every time the date rolls around, plenty of related status updates appear in my Facebook feed.

        I’m kind of hard pressed to nail down the exact reasons why her display would be far less appropriate. Maybe because she was wearing it on her person? Maybe because she doesn’t have the right “standing” to be publicly marking it at all?

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          Because she was doing it for attention.

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          The attention thing, and how she had to make it whoreish, not respectful.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          The costume was for Halloween, 2001, not for the 9/11 anniversary — so it was 6 weeks after the attacks.

          “Halloween 2001: Sexy American Flag

          “This was after 9/11, so I felt the need to integrate a bit of patriotism into my holiday revelry.”

          http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/227647183

          I don’t see aspie; I see attention-starved asshole.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            WHAT JESUS CHRIST THAT MAKES IT WORSE

            SHE WORE THAT TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY IN NEW YORK IN OCTOBER OF 2001

            HOLY FUCK

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Albie — I think she was still in Chicago. NYC hadn’t been infected by her yet.

            And I’m with Sacred — I don’t see Aspie, I see attention-desperate asshole too. I think it’s an insult to Aspies to suggest she’s one of them. My almost brother-in-law has Asperger’s and he’s not a complete braying self-obsessed dickwad like she is, just socially awkward and says inappropriate things at times without realizing it.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Yes. Spoiled asshole who was never told “Don’t do that!” when she was a child and grew up believing that the rest of the world would find her just as adorbs and charming as her parents do.

        • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

          Per flag protocol, it is never supposed to be worn as attire.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Interesting. I can see how narcissism + slightly abnormal position on the autism spectrum synergize to produce much of Donkey’s more abhorrent behavior.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        On the other hand, I think it’s easy to project one’s own issues on Donkey when she’s really just an asshole first and foremost. Yes, she often behaves oddly and inappropriately, but wouldn’t anyone if they thought they’re so special that normal rules of human behavior don’t apply to them?

        Aspies sometimes make a poor impression because they honestly don’t know what’s normal or acceptable. Wouldn’t it be easy to confuse this Aspie behavior with “I know how you little people are supposed to behave, but I’m going to break the rules because I’m entitled to”?

        I conclude by once again comparing Donkey to Raskolnikov.

        • Crazy Eddie says:

          I figure that normal privileged people would be much better than Julia at keeping their strategic friendships going. And decorating themselves and their homes.

          (I generally don’t see what’s wrong with Julia’s clothes or home in the pictures y’all post until y’all point it out… but once it is pointed out, I can see the differences. I did see right away that that flag dress was at least 12 inches too short, though… em, er, oops?)

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I think you have something there, TLDR. Narcissism magnifying a touch (or more) of Asperger’s could produce pretty much all the behavior we’ve seen from her, especially her really painful and awkward self-presentation on Miss Advised. I wonder.

    • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

      I can see her being on the spectrum, esp after seeing her on tv, but her stubborn wilful ignorance means the asshole factor trumps anything else. She refuses to seek help.

      And that is why we are all still here.

      • Crazy Eddie says:

        Yes, stubborn willfull ignorance is a good way to put it. Things keep going wrong for a reason.

        The red pill awaits, Julia.

    • Donkarena says:

      Crazy Eddie, thank you for this.

  23. Peltergeist says:

    I don’t know if anyone watches that Teen Mom show on MTV (don’t judge, I was home sick last week) but that awful girl Farrah took a trip to meet her boyfriend’s parents on the show after maybe a month of dating. She really let her donk flag fly, too. She was normal, normal, normal, INSANE, RUDE, CRAZY, STAGE 5 CLINGER, then totally shocked that she scared him away. It was like she was following Julia’s advice to a T. Granted she’s probably 20 but Julia is mentally 15 so it’s a fair comparison.

    • Prom Party Burnout says:

      YES! Watched the last two episodes on demand last night and was thinking the same thing reading this tread!

    • alessa says:

      I watched that too. I am ashamed. My favorite was when Farah told her boyfriend’s stepmom it was too late for her to have kids, and that she was going to be a “lone bird.” Also when she blithely announced that she “popped out” her daughter at 16 and wants the kid to have another sibling soon–to which the dad nervously suggested she take her time… and she of course responded by rolling her eyes and saying “to each their own.” I died.

      Of course it’s totally logical and completely appropriate that she now has a book out–because there’s nothing more I want to do than read about an insane, entitled little brat and her views on the world. It really did remind me of the ineffable donkey.

  24. muppet face says:

    Marys 65 year old Houston Socialite look here is killing me…

    Frazzled blown back hair…check.

    Silk blouse from Saks 80% off rack…check.

    Self aware “bless her heart” schtick…check.

    Now she’s all boobies, hotel reviews, and trying to tell us where the new IT spots are in every town she’s spent 5 minutes in…. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • JFA says:

      Why was her hair so bad?

      Why can’t they just dress like normal people, any of them? This isn’t the Oprah show…just wear jeans and be done with it.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        They believed that they were going to be fashion and style icons to young women everywhere. Yes, really. Now stop laughing so hard, you’ll hurt yourself!

    • D says:

      Speaking of, Mare Mare has been all up in my city (Atlanta) and I can’t figure out why. I figured she travels with her boyfriend (If they are still together, kudos for keeping him offline). Being a ‘consultant’ (HAR!!! Yeah, okay), she can do that, I guess. But why is MMBH taking a different body pump/soul cycle/spin class in a new city every week? It doesn’t seem to be for her own work.

      I’m terrified of seeing her in person.

  25. EyeRoller says:

    I’m humbled by seeing this old clip and have no idea how you long-standing catpeeps have endured. I’m realizing I know so little, because there’s no end to said cray.

    Her parents CRIED (:36 mark) after “she broke up with her ex-fiance”? Can anyone confirm that SHE broke up with HIM or is she always working overtime to make her appear more in control and favorable? That’s the only type of overtime she works, trust. And her mother and father cried because they knew it was her last chance at tricking a man into legal enslavement and because this Chinese water torture drill of conveyer belt future-exes you’ve been rolling out for years has brought them to their mother fucking, donkey-rearing knees!

    Then she calls out out her ex BY NAME (:59 mark) as James, a trust fund baby with a drinking problem, implying the drinking problem with one of her illustrious hoof gestures. Keepin’ it classy, I see. It’s despicable, because it shows no secret is safe with her, even if you broke up with her years ago she’s happy to spill your secrets on camer, for fame, and to make herself seem like more of an “expert”. WHAT. A. WHORE. Especially when EVEN A NEWCOMER like me can google and find his full name is James Fay (she probably wishes it was James Frey), and she was STILL stalking him years later, publicly and online, while also talking shit about him on her stupid not-even-a-show series of 5 minute TMI Reekly–

    http://friendfeed.com/juliaallison/517b382c/huge-congratulations-to-my-college-boyfriend

    Pig.

    • EyeRoller says:

      several typos. please forgive.

      • EyeRoller says:

        I also should’ve been more clear: James was a different ex, not the “ex-fiance” I was referring to in the first paragraph. Totally different victims it seems.

        • Donkarena says:

          Sidebar, OT — but with all this sleeping around that she does in her pursuit of a wallet, there is no doubt in my mind that she blew JellyD after the dinner party. He surprised her, so she thought she had a live one on the hook, and she moved right in to the physical portion of the Donkey Seduction Program. I’m a bit of a newbie, so forgive my slow dawning on her strategic sluttiness.

          • Donkarena says:

            I also remember a very brief cutaway shot at the end of the dinner party episode, after Toilet Julia’s song, Donkey straddled JellyD, even with her maxi dress on. Too bad he wasn’t hooked up to heart monitors at the time.

    • JFA says:

      Also pretty sure she openly dissed that chick (the fiance) during her Learning Annex “class” and mocked her website. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out who she was talking about. But Im’ sure her congratulations were VERY SINCERE.

      You’d cry as parents too if your daugher accepted a proposal of some poor sap she admitted to never wanting to marry, moved with him to LA, loafed without a job for a good while, then dumped his ass for a married man and fled to NYC.

      James the Billionaire alcoholic ex is also the subject of this, my fave nonsociety post of all time:

      http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/24734793

      • AH-ha! I had been wondering if the “stunned silence, drops the phone” thingy was a Julia-ism.

        Completely doubtful that that conversation ever happened.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Thank you for posting that link and being patient. I’ve read and seen many of these things but it’s taking time for me to cognitively absorb all the Donksanity (Donk=In) microshards that are falling into place. Last month, I even watched her whole “Learning” Annex appearance and let me tell you, that was a real gift to society and nonsociety alike.

        • Goat Soup for the White Soles (/Sake Bombardier) says:

          ER, I think you’ve earned a treat for your perseverance.

          If you haven’t seen this already, then prepare for one of the greatest comedic creations of all time.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjmPHtlirfY

          • JFA says:

            Ah yes good linkage! Also, comments on that youtube post reminded me of yet ANOTHER piece in the James the Billionaire Ex lore, that being the sister of the Ex, who punched Julia in the face for stealing and using his credit card post-breakup. She would become a faceless hero to many for all the days.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        yes! where the infamous cat lady memes *stunned silence* and *drops phone* come from.

      • Tingolayo says:

        What kind of piece of shit posts something like this?! I’ve known of this woman’s existence for less than 2 months, and I think I already hate her. Does anyone ever call her on this stuff (besides here)? How could she justify these things she’s done?

        She posts personal e-mails and conversations– does she tell people, “Wait, before you speak, please be aware that I might post this online”?

        • JFA says:

          Caring about other people’s feelings/privacy would imply having a conscience, and if you stick around long enough you realize this sociopathic piece of shit obviously has none.

        • Who do you think you are? says:

          Given that she’s a journalist, anything could be on the record, silly!

      • SirClompsAlot says:

        Officially the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

    • emma bourricot (slutty elephant costume) says:

      I hesitate to bring this up, but in her first Elle column, Donkey admitted to sleeping with James just two years ago. Not sure if he was attached at the time, but she implied that the morning after was the “moment” she decided she didn’t want to be single anymore.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        well, technically, she said they were in bed, not that they were doing it. yes, she wanted to imply that james just couldn’t get over her, even though he was engaged to an OMG model.

    • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

      This thread is giving me vertigo, so apologies if I’m repeating another catlady or misunderstanding you.

      James was not the fiance. The fiance was Jon, an attorney. She broke up with Jon when she moved to NYC to shack up with Alex, a married eunuch. My guess is that her parents were invested in the Julia-Jon relationship because it was a chance for her to have a normal-ish life. And who would be proud of their little Donkey for breaking up a marriage?

      • Wonkeye says:

        It would also be a chance for them to have a normal life because she’d then be her husband’s problem, not theirs. They need to unload this bitch. A normal parent would just cut off support and let her make it on her own, but these throwbacks seem to think she needs a man to take care of her.

      • Donkarena says:

        Wow — that must be the reference she made in the other video where she humblebragged “When I lived in Manhattan for 5 years”….of course, that sounds more glamourous than “I stalked, slept and squatted until evicted in Manhattan until I ran out of people to leech off of”….That would also be the time period that she said she went to the grocery store all the time and cooked. Salads.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      1. They may have cried; he was a lawyer and going places. And she left him for a married guy who seemed pretty sleazy by comparison. And yes, she’s been an asshole since birth so you can imagine how relieved they must have been to be marrying her off in her early 20s so she could be someone else’s problem.

      2. She also suggested recently — either her Pig of Love column or on the Bravo site — that she slept with James again semi-recently. He’s now engaged to be married, and the fiancee hated her BEFORE she dropped that little tidbit publicly. Again, very classy of Donk

  26. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    So O/T but I’m procrastinating from some admin work. (Except, Stalker: Yes! Sound off exposes all. I Was Inside: Spill!! Crazy Eddy: I think you’re on to something there.)
    And now this:

    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/15p22b8.png[/img]

    • Dr. Gary says:

      idiots like Julie are the reason Burning Man has jumped the shark.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        you mean jumped the donk

        [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/2qmnqtf.jpg[/img]

      • CaptainGary says:

        Most people, as I understand it, put some serious time into creating and building their Burning Man ensembles. While it’s not my particular bag, I can appreciate that some creative people get very into it as an art project, with their installations and their steampunk and all that jazz.

        Not our Julie, however – she just goes to Yandy and buys some cheap-ass, mass-produced (but hey, in the USA!) crap, just like she does for everything. She always says she’s going to create something new, but then just gives as little effort as humanly possible.

        But as there’s no judgement [sic] in Black Rock City, how DARE YOU question her for her art (which is the same as her costumes that she buys).

        If I were a legit Burner, I’d ask for my money back if I had to camp anywhere near her.

        • fig says:

          What annoys me most is that there are pretty awesome ideas regarding around Burning Man. Not leaving any trace is one of those, so you really are not supposed to wear cheap stripper crap with feathers and sequins that will come loose and hang around. There are people literally sweeping the desert to make sure nothing is left behind, and seeing Julia in her slutty feathered Angel costume just makes me think about how much she is spoiling this for people.

          • fig says:

            Sorry, please strike regarding. Languages and editing are hard! Like math!

          • CaptainGary says:

            Not to mention the fact that it’s just stupid “clubwear” that she’s grifting (saw on her Twatter that J.Valentine is sending her stuff to wear). Literally ANYONE can get that shit – there’s nothing special or creative about it. That’s like me wearing Gap jeans and saying “I’m expressing myself through these bootcuts!”

            PR people who fall for her grifts these days deserve to get rooked.

    • Casa Del Sweden Is A City, Whatever, It's Miss Cast says:

      Festive pinata hooves for your next birthday party.
      Thwack!

    • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

      hey baby.

  27. Scooby Don't says:

    On a sad note:
    http://www.dlisted.com/2012/08/20/phyllis-diller-was-supposed-live-forever

    More awesome than a barrel of Donkeys!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, sad. Phyllis Diller was awesome and hilarious. Even at her most self-mocking “clueless, brassy broad” persona, she was ten million times the elegant lady that Julie Albertson aspires to be.

      I am pouring out a 40 of Oil of Olay in her honor tonight.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        A great, great lady.

        Favorite quote: “If my wardrobe could talk it would plead for mercy.”

        Check out her role in the bizarre animated film “Mad Monster Party” (1966), which partly inspired Tim Burton’s “Nightmare Before Christmas.”

  28. The Tortuous and the Hair says:

    OT, I’m not sure how long it’s been up, but this is JellyD’s facebook profile pic:

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/lL3Gg.png[/img]

    And, coincidentally:

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/yM3sA.png[/img]

  29. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    I ma four thousand years old, so this much I know:

    Back in the day, turtleneck sweaters used to be worn to draw attention to your tits. Bob Hope actually made jokes about it, describing one woman’s breasts to a friend as: “well, she’s really – look, you got a turtleneck?”

    Something about covering to reveal.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      I have a black cashmere turtleneck that is by far the sexiest thing I own. It’s not fine material, either, it’s ribbed — it’s actually very warm and practical — but there are tons of occasions I wouldn’t wear it. I think a lot of people misunderstand the glory of that silhouette.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Exactly. Whenever they want to show a sexually forthright young woman in a film noir flick, the look is librarian spectacles and turtleneck sweater.

        #underplayinyerboobiesURdoinitrong

  30. EyeRoller says:

    I only had the patience to scroll through the last six weeks of tweets on her Twitter page, and yesterday was her first single day with nothing at all. There was a lazy tweet with a link to an article (she’s featured in) earlier today, but no original Donkey speak. Hasn’t she tweeted Every.Single.Day since the beginning of Time? Someone hold me to their bosom and tell me if this is the beginning of biblical end times? I know others here have a better feel for her long-term ebb and flow habits. Is this normal when she gets a new “boyfriend”? Does she every temporarily lay off social media, trying to prove something to new man? Did Dad and Mom corner her after the wedding and harpoon her with a sedative causing her to finally sleep, all the way through August 19th? Help!

    • bitchface says:

      the worst are the days she’s having sex and just tweets

      ;)

    • Malformed Face says:

      I think she knows she got called out here for tweeting 39 times in a day like some kind of psycho maniac so she is trying to “calm down Kevin!” I doubt anything is going on other than her running around buying slutty costumes for Burning Man. Things might be quiet for a week or so but they’ll be epic when she comes back from Burning Man, posts 1,000 photos of herself and then has nothing to do and no where to go.

    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      “Did Dad and Mom corner her after the wedding and harpoon her with a sedative causing her to finally sleep, all the way through August 19th?”

      I just imagined this scenario and it was magical. I especially appreciate the word choice of “harpoon.” You have a gift.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      It ebbs and flows. But generally, in the past we’ve found that when she went silent on Twitter and Facebook (and previously, her blog) for a couple of days, it meant she was up to her psycho-est behavior — usually followed by cryptic Tweets declaring how happy and/or blessed she is, with lots of emoticons. Those Tweets almost always mean the following: “I have spent the last two days doing some really psycho shit, and I got caught/read the riot act/called out in a humiliating fashion, sobbed for a day, and now I will pretend that I have never been happier.”

      The prime example of this is when one of the REDACTED’s finally snapped and eviscerated her in an email, telling her to stop blogging about him/stalking him/harassing him with endless messages, and in a fury, she sent the email to his fiancee suggesting she’d fucked her husband-to-be after they met. While all this was going down in a 24-hour period, there were a ton of “I AM SO HAPPY!!!” and “So. Very. Blessed!” Tweets.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        I want to say that happened right after a week at the ashram but I could be mis-remembering.

  31. pink pestilence says:

    ok excuse me if this is old news- but in TMI “must have winter accessories” Mary straight up CALLS Julia out on getting her lips done! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dV05LWCswE&feature=player_embedded (starts about 3:50)

    And the way Mary says it is so weird… like she’s breaking sad news to an alzheimers patient. and Julia STILL tries to deny it, right to Mary’s face. AWESOME JOB JULIA.

    • Don Quixote says:

      And then said to the camera “we’re not gonna use this part.” Looks like that edit slipped right by her! Thanks for posting that clip.

    • Slutty Catbanger says:

      Never seen that one. Amazing.

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      Haaaa I clicked over there and misread the first line as “Accusations are crucial for any holiday outfit”

  32. bitchface says:

    see, now I would think Julia Allison Baugher is the type to make weirdly sexual, awkward comments in front of both of her boyfriend’s parents and kind of wink wink nudge nudge the momsers while everyone shifted uncomfortably as the air grew thick

  33. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    i can’t believe people out there watch this lame crap. really? really?!!

    • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

      No one but us watched it. That’s why the episodes ended up running in the backs of cabs. From her face to her career, everything about Donkey turns to filler.

  34. Beauchamp says:

    This is the dumbest piece of shit I have ever seen in my life. Three dumb twats who all look horribly uncomfortable on camera yammering about idiotic high-school shit in the most annoying way possible. Who the fuck ever watched this heap of crap? I’m sorry I clicked on it. First and last time I ever do that where these morons are involved.

  35. Blowjobs by Bravo says:

    ex fiance? ugh, really? she was engaged? before you AK me, I’m too tired to research it.

    • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

      Read up. ^^^

      It’s your luck day, lots of history here today.

    • Afghani says:

      when Julia was a senior in college, she dated a guy who was in his 3L year of law school. they became engaged at some point and lived together while the guy worked as a lawyer in southern california. I believe they lived in newport beach, but i could be wrong. somewhere along the way, julia started fucking a married guy 12-15 yrs her senior. the guy’s wife eventually left him and divorced him. somewhere in that time, julia left her fiancee and moved to new york, which started the chain of events that brings us to where we are today.

      • Diabetic Feet says:

        What a retardo-whore

        • Leased D-Class TaskRabbit Boyfriend (formerly Floppy) says:

          I read that out loud to my bf, he LOL’d and said “that’s the best description of her I’ve ever heard”

          “Retardowhore” will be a permanent addition to this home.

          • Donkarena says:

            The home you share? :-)

          • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

            Am I remembering correctly that Donkey was sucking up to your boyfriend during her NYC days thinking he would do something for her? That was true of someone around here.

          • Leased D-Class TaskRabbit Boyfriend (formerly Floppy) says:

            No, he’s not connected to La Donk.
            He’d be all
            [img]http://i.imgur.com/aKWV9.gif[/img]
            [img]http://i.imgur.com/DwjBp.gif[/img]

            and I’d probably punch her in the tits and push her into the gutter.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        And may I add that while Julia was engaged to the GU law student, she cruised med students in the med library when she was supposed to be working there. She also spoke LOUDLY on the phone when at at the med center, usually about various men and how much money they were worth. One couldn’t dream up a creature so vulgar. Undergrads would go the med library just to witness Julia in action and we’d laugh and laugh and laugh!

      • alessa says:

        WOW. stunned.

        i’m pretty new here too– i knew she was engaged before and cheated but i had no idea she broke up a marriage.

        that is so terrible. it’s gone from funny to just really, really tragic and despicable to me. to think of the amount of pain, humiliation, and the sense of betrayal and trauma she caused another human being by assisting in destroying her marriage.

        i see now why she’s destined to always be unhappy. i don’t wish her ill, but now i could really give a fuck whether she ever gets the help so she has repeatedly demonstrated that she so badly needs.

        • Who do you think you are? says:

          Worse, I get the feeling that she’s proud of it.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            The children from that marriage are now products of a broken home with their own marriage appeal forever diminished (in the world according to Donkey), but hey, she bested another woman, so yes, she’s damn proud of it.

      • JFA says:

        Please let’s also not all forget…the married dude was the one whose apartment she squatted in for over a year without paying rent after they broke up. The same guy whose Mercedes she stole and drove to the Hamptons, conveniently not telling him about it (chronicled in the Mediabistro article). She’s a terrible, terrible person. I think he finally evicted her and forced her into the pink palace. Honestly she’d probably still be there today if he hadn’t. They are “great friends.”

        • JFA says:

          Guaranteed she dumped Alex for Redacted 1 also, then just refused to move out…for some reason the apartment squatting for me was always just the most balls to the wall insane thing she’s done. PAY YOUR OWN RENT YOU WHORE.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I think she dumped him for the Men’s Health guy. There were a few dudes between Alex and Lodwick.

          • JFA says:

            I was talking about Michael, wasn’t Michael after Alex? Then she dumped Michael for Jakob? It gets so confusing being such a trash bag.

          • emma bourricot (slutty elephant costume) says:

            IIRC, she met Michael and broke up with Alex (in a Jamba Juice!! #nevarforget) in summer 2006 but never committed to Michael, although he is the one who took her to the Gawker Halloween party that year and bought her five dresses for her Christmas. She ended up taking Alex home with her to Chicago for Christmas without Michael knowing and then, AND THEN, Michael flew in to surprise her. Well, in her own words:

            “In 2006, I was ending one relationship and starting another, but they overlapped a bit (oops). I took one home to Chicago for the holidays without telling the other and lost ten years from my life when the second guy flew in and surprised me—at the place I was having lunch with the first guy. I didn’t spend New Year’s with either, but flew to South Africa instead. With a third guy.”

            http://juliaallisonarticles.tumblr.com/post/127663418/i-got-dumped-on-xmas-the-holidays-arent-all

            She then spent the next few months chasing wallets (remember Milo the Heroes dude? LOL) before meeting Ricky Van Veen, and when he clearly wasn’t into her, she set her sights on Jakob.

          • JFA says:

            Jesus christ, her whoring knows no bounds. She’s the absolute worst piece of shit imaginable. I love how she DEMANDED closure from Redacted 1 years later, even though she treated him (as she does everyone) like complete shit, cheated on him, and dumped his ass. BUT YES THREE YEARS LATER PROVIDE ME CLOSURE. Dick.

            Ugh, she really fancied herself the girl about town. I reread the mediabistro article yesterday out of boredom. She is SO IN LOVE with herself during that time period. Using guys left and right for free trips etc. She’s the antithesis of the woman I aim to be. Funny how all that wallet chasing worked out so well for her.

          • SirClompsAlot says:

            Wow I never read the Christmas dumping story. She is ballz insane! She is a total evil whore one year than paints herself as the victim the next year. (Actually she kinda paints herself as the victim for what she did the year before too.)

            I’d say it wasn’t Donks who had the bad Christmas, it was the poor guys who flew around the country, giving up the holidays with their own families to find out they’re dating a two-timing whore.

            That was a lot of “whore”, sorry. Whore.

        • Jelly Roll says:

          what article is that?!?

      • Peltergeist says:

        Does anyone know how she met Alex? They were on opposite coasts and both in serious relationships so I’m wondering if it was just chance or if she “made it happen.”

  36. idiotbox says:

    Christine Kelly is a gift from Greg:

    “Christine Kelly [@‎Allie Baugher] Clearly I sat next to your Mom at dinner – how Julia never heard your parent’s first date story is beyond me. We are officially obsessed with it. :) You were missed! Good luck with training!”

    Is it really THAT surprising that Julia hadn’t heard someone’s story?

  37. After Market Errands says:

    From Julia’s NonSociety blog, January 2008:

    “So, if marketing requires that marketers be keenly AWARE of how their product is being perceived, then self-marketing (in the dating world) requires that the single person be keenly aware of how he or she is being perceived.

    In other words, successful personal marketing requires a great deal of self-awareness (at the very least).

    ah-ha!!

    It reminds me of makeover tv segments where they show the hapless dater footage of them on an actual date and point out things (that seem obvious to the outside viewer) that would rub someone else the wrong way. And the dater, in response, is almost always shocked.

    It seems that our default mode is pretty UN-self-aware, isn’t it? We actually have to make a concerted effort to have a firm grasp on how other people perceive us (it won’t come naturally), and dating – especially in the beginning stages – is all about perception.”

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Personal marketing is one thing when a person, say an athlete, has achieved something; here it’s just sad. She wants to be perceived as perfect, somehow, or as an all-knowing expert, or the ideal some guy has been searching for, and that’s a long lonely path. Particularly when the ‘learn button’ is missing.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Hitler’s Propaganda Minister is credited with saying (paraphrasing)– “A lie, told over and over, becomes truth.”(http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Joseph_Goebbels)

        Serious, I know, but not in this case, because it even helps when dealing with tricky little donkeys. She’s a Love Nazi, pushing imaginary propaganda to suits whatever “plan” she’s got percolating in that gassy little scheme chamber head of hers.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          I’m really sorry to see Godwin’s Law on RBD.

          And “gassy” is absolutely disgusting.

          • Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

            Very relevant to this personal branding (propaganda) piece posted tonight:

            RT Inc. ‏@Inc
            RT @nigelcameron: Smart. RT @CaitlinVLong: personal branding via @Inc featuring @JuliaAllison http://bit.ly/QJFDyW

            Btw, we had Inc. shooting a story at our office this week, and now seeing this stupid story makes me feel very cheap. Maybe it’s the difference between print and online, but I work hard; she doesn’t. F her.

          • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

            I was cringing reading that, particularly the one-word branding descriptions she claimed for herself. She really has zero self-awareness that all she is is an empty suit with a big mouth. There’s no “there” there.

          • Gummy Rictus of Love says:

            Oh also? “Kathy GRIFFITH?” Oh, Donkey.

          • EyeRoller says:

            inappropriate. did not realize. thank you. apologies to you and anyone i offended. nothing further need be said.

  38. SirClompsAlot says:

    OT but has anyone been watching Gallery Girls? Those ladies might give donks a run for her money as the Worst Human Alive. It’s like they’re all collected in one place, and I can’t pick which one is the worst. (Although it’s probably Chantal.) I would like to see Donks and Chantal in a caged death match.

    • I’m watching right now. They all seem pretty awful so far. The Eli Klein girls are snotty and the mousy one definitely had something going on with the boss at one point. Ugh, the complaining, about the littlest tasks. Who cares if you have to go to Brooklyn for 15 minutes? Brooklyn is awesome.

      I think the Long Island girl seems all right. They’re all kinda catty, but that just might be the reality show producers poking in.

      • One Fat Melman says:

        Chantal is TERRIBLE. The mousy one makes me cringe; she’s dumber that a rock, but needs to learn to stand up for herself.

    • Julia be Cray says:

      It was my guilty pleasure Sunday at mom’s house. They’re all semi-dreadful, but amazing at the same time.

    • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:
    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I have not yet seen this show because froth rage blood pressure chew off tongue, but is it worth seeking out after buying some Paxil?

      • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

        according to the recaps, very little art is shown.

        What could possibly be enraging about watching people who are financed by their parents pretend to be contributing to the cultural wealth of our society?

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          AND THEN NEVER SEE THE ART?

          • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

            You stole this line from Donkey’s Paris itinerary, didn’t you?

          • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

            Only on her itinerary it ends with a slammer and is followed by an entry for being filmed shoe shopping while mainlining eclairs.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I, alas, have to deal with bitches of this type to the plethora exponential. And as much fun as it is reminding them from time to time that their ability to contribute to my clients’ dialogue begins and ends with operating a Xerox machine, I generally don’t unwind after work hours with the same people I want to kill during.

          • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

            you’re probably too close to it, then. I don’t think it’s worth one Paxil of your time.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        Eh, Bravo cancelled “Work of Art” today. I liked that circus with all the art school archetypes I know so well. And dreamy China Chow, charming Simon du Pury, douchey Bill Powers, and putzy Jerry Salz….. at least they had to be productive and make stuff on that show.
        I’ve been circling around “Gallery Girls” and pecked at it briefly last night. From what I’ve seen its what I expected – a a poor riff on HBO “Girls” and a junior version of housewives. It can’t worse than “Miss Advised” though – should I invest my time in this show – if only for shits and giggles?
        Those girls seem pretty awful. The drama seemed to revolve around Upper East Side versus downtown and Brooklyn which wasn’t even interesting on SATC ten years ago. Can’t these bitches just get over it and hop on a subway and don’t they get bored staying in their own little part of the city? And it didn’t seem like any of them are exactly exactly part of the gallery scene – two them seem to have a pretend/daddy-funded store of some sort – with hippie dresses and beads and a few really awful painting (I may be mistaken I only watched a few minutes and couldn’t handle their yappiness and had just taken a sleeping pill I’d stolen from my mom’s stash)

        • They cancelled Work of Art? That’s a shame. I enjoyed that show, for the stereotypes and some of the awesome work it produced.

        • Norse Horse says:

          Agree with everything you wrote, Jordache. I liked “Work of Art” too, it was an interesting experiment. Even if you didn’t like the art made each week, it wasn’t dull. Anyway, they are shopping it to other networks, it may return somehow.

          “Gallery Girls” is terrible, for the reasons you noted astutely. Brooklyn vs Manhattan is such an ancient tired thing, so stupid. I sort of think I like Andrea, she seems lively and fun. The rest are either bores or activeally unlikeable. Very little art, very little to do with the actual art world. Meh.

        • stalker is the new very meandering home intruder says:

          I watched it on the treadmill at the gym last night with the sound off and there is really no way to tell that the art world is involved more than tangentially. A lot of the paintings are blurred out and many of the scenes are set in places other than galleries. I think I saw a collector for a total of 5 seconds.

        • Jordache and the Pelts says:

          You know, I happened to catch about forty minutes of the “Gallery Girls” late last night (as opposed to just a few minutes) and it kind of grew on me…. it’s like watching squirrels or chipmunks.
          These chicas are so young (and so tiny) and so indifferent to work and actual “art” there’s no way any of them will actually go on to be gallerists or curators or anything in the art world. But it’s funny to see them try.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      EmphasisAdded Emily blogged that she used to babysit one of the Gallery Girls. go figure.

  39. Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

    Man, I miss RBNS. These bidges are cray-z, and donk is boring lately.

  40. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/2ibj5lx.png[/img]

  41. Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

    OT: Catpeeps, my pup is at the vet for a teeth cleaning and extractions and I am having a meltdown. He’s a pound puppy from a breed known for gnarly teeth, so the extractions are not unexpected, but this is the first time I’ve ever had to take him to the vet for anything more painful than a shot. Can someone please tell me he’ll feel better soon?

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      Aw. It’s so difficult to see these creatures, completely reliant on our care, in any kind of distress. Young children and pets … it is heartbreaking!! Been there on both counts. Just know you are doing the very best thing you can for your pup, and provide him (as I know you will) with as much comfort and care post-op as you can. He’ll be fine and wagging himself silly at the sight of you again in no time.

      • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

        Thank you. I know this is the right thing to do, but it’s so hard when you can’t explain it to the little guy. He’s going to be in pain and he won’t know why. : (

    • helobabe says:

      Can I ask how you knew he needed extractions? I hope they give him some good doggie painkillers and lots of treats!

      • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

        Thanks for your concern. Apparently there will be enough painkillers and antibiotics to go around after this. I’d rather not gross anyone else out with the details of how we got to today.

        The whole process with my little fluffball leaves me even more baffled about Julia’s ASSinine vet tweet from this weekend. If Lilly is such an inconvenience, maybe she should stay at the lakehouse with her brother.

      • Grammarian says:

        bad doggie breath is a hint

        • helobabe says:

          That’s why I asked…my dog’s breath absolutely reeks no matter how much we brush his teeth. I’m thinking I should take him in for a tooth inspection – do vets do that?

        • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

          Apologies. I was in a tizzy this morning. Bad breath is a big clue, as is a lot of unusual licking. Your vet can absolutely check your dog’s teeth and probably should as part of an annual visit.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      My brocat’s dog just had a couple of extractions. She was pretty high for a couple of days afterward from the painkillers.

      She did have some continence issues during her recovery, so it probably wouldn’t hurt to be prepared for that with your little dude.

      Best of luck to you both!

      • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

        Awww, thanks Albie! I just got the call that he’s done and doing really well. He’ll be ready to come home by the end of the day. Getting his favorite blankie all cleaned and fluffed for him in the meantime.

        • Greg says:

          I will keep a good thought for your pupper. I had to take my cat in for extractions and he was absolutely fine afterward. They even got the matted-in Cheeto dust off of him. :)

    • He is going to be okay!

      When I had to take my kitty to the vet for dental extractions, I flipped out in my head because she had to go under and that is really scary to me. But I spoke with the surgeon for a while and she reassured me that it was a simple procedure and everything would be fine.

      I personally hate the dentist, but it’s a whole other kind of anxiety to see a loved one go for surgery.

      • Donkarena says:

        Same here. Both of my four-legged babies had dental issues and needed extractions — and I was a nervous wreck until I got the call from the vet they were fine. Couldn’t wait to get them home. Felt mommy guilt that they had bad teeth in the first place.

        • ME TOO. Do you brush their teeth? I feed my cat Greenies regularly because she she’s a squirmy worm who barely lets my boycat clip her nails.

          • Donkarena says:

            No, I don’t. I did buy a toothbrush and toothpaste packet from the vet awhile back — the toothpaste was chicken flavor, which still makes me giggle. The vet that extracted the teeth said it’s kind of a crapshoot: some dogs have tooth issues, others don’t. I felt better after that. But I still don’t brush their teeth! Do you?

          • Donkarena says:

            I have gotten their teeth cleaned since then, so I figure that might compensate for the lack of daily brushing….

          • I think teeth cleaning (by someone who knows what they’re doing) is a good idea. Our pet supply store does cleanings, I need to take her there.

    • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

      Baby Pup is home and as crazy as ever! Thank you so much for your good wishes. He’s sending all of you a drooly grin.

  42. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    I love how this stupid cunt is going to blow through her “Intel contract” money, AKA her inheritance, within a year on traveling to grifter conferences, spiritual journeys, and unaffordable MdR condo leases. Wonder if her parents cut her off?

    At Thirty-fucking-one?

    • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

      The spiritual journey alone will probably cost $4-5k, excluding flights to and from Peru. I still wonder if she didn’t move into the studio in her same building that was mentioned in a thread a few weeks ago. Toilet Julia seems to have cleared out.

  43. Jelly Roll says:

    Have we discussed this particular nugget? I read almost all of the last thread and didn’t see a mention…

    (posted under the pic of Donks/Goatsoap at the wedding)
    Mark Stetler: Love this one and the ones in the swing. I cant wait to see you! MOM

    Yikes! Are his parents, like, entirely off the grid or something? How on earth could they be fans of this relationship? Maybe there really is something wrong with this guy if they’re actually excited for him to hook up with a Donkey?

    • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

      I think they’re excited to see pics their son took or is in. It’s unlikely they know anything about his “friend”/client/literal piece of ass.

    • Afghani says:

      His parents live in some dump like Modesto or Stockton (paging Albie for exact location) and are evangelical Christians. They probably don’t exactly follow the life and times of A Donkey.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      They live in Modesto, are really into their non-denominational Evangelical church, work for a living, seem really excited about their grandchild (child of Goat Soap’s older brother, I hasten to add), and just seem like generally sweet people who don’t deserve a Donkey in their lives.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think they assume that if their son likes her, she must be a nice lady.

        Yeah, I have a bit of a crush on them now.

        • Afghani says:

          Don’t get too carried away with the love, in that part of CA there’s a definite chance of that the love the Jeebus and hate gays and Mexicans. They might not, but that is a very rough area of CA. Victor Davis Hanson has chronicled this over the past yr and it’s become a morbid fascination of mine.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Not to turn this in to a whole discussion on that (really really really!), but just wanted to say that, as an evangelical christian myself, I have none of that. No hate for gays (and no hate for Mexicans, but I didn’t know that was even considered a “thing”. People think Christians hate Mexicans?) Only love. Probably silly to type out, but it strikes me that it’s getting kind of rare that people hear from the real voices of Christianity (the crazies are so loud, really, they bray – and wading into the conversation with them is usually pointless, but it tends to mean they’re the only ones who’re heard). So – just wanted to say – as one myself, it’s only love on this end! That is all. :)

          • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

            Aren’t most Mexicans catholic?

          • Catfish & Sweet Potatoes For Dessert says:

            @Jelly: Afghani is a fussy, unhappy little man. Ignore him.

            Glad to have you on the cat team.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I would be sad if that were true of them, but what they’ve put out into the world of social media doesn’t suggest that.

            Their church doesn’t seem nativist or Dominionist based on its website and the press it’s received.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            There are some churches in the US that identify themselves as Evangelical and which include a nativist/anti-Latino-immigration theme in their philosophies, which may or may not include anti-Catholicism explicitly. This is of course an extreme and minority view, but the jerks who get into this nonsense get an undue share of attention.

            The Goat Soap parents’ church doesn’t seem to be on this bandwagon at all, though.

          • Psychotic Today says:

            @iblow4shoes we mostly are and it’s a hard religion to be a part of as Democrat. That being said a bus of nun’s is going around the country denouncing Paul Ryan. This is the one thing my church has done in ages that I am actually proud of.

          • Grammarian says:

            Once upon a time long ago, there was a religious christian left that helped the poor

            Then came the republican rightwing lunatic christians, who hate the poor and the gays

            Fuck them

            Catholicism came to Mexico with the Spaniards, and the Conquistadores implanted their religion while raping the women.

            Current generations are split between Catholocism and a growing fundamentalism

        • C says:

          I like that you said this. Very Much.

          • C says:

            That was to Albie. But Catfish, I agree with you too.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            I’m confused about who said what — oh, I see — Jelly Roll: there are plenty of Christians here, and all of us of the most prostitute-loving, gay-embracing, God-is-on-the-side-0f-the-poor-and-oppressed, Jesus type imaginable. I, for one, am shamelessly so.

    • Grammarian says:

      A gay Mexican from a born-again formerly Catholic family in Milwaukee once brought me home as his date for a wedding. He was a good friend, so I did it when he asked. It bought him at least a year of family not calling him gay. He eventually came out, but it meant a lot to him at the time.

  44. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    as the donkey is dull…if you want a quick look at julia’s faces of yore, check out her birthday retrospective

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, it is sad how she ruined her face. That slide show really brings it home.

      • Nickelodeon Chic says:

        At 24 and 25, she’s quite pretty.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I think she’s cutest at 22 in the last picture but one. The very last picture…well, it’s not a look I’d try myself, but I give her props for a solid entry in “best-dressed single appearance soap opera guest star of 1987.”

    • Factory Seconds says:

      She was my age when she got that stripper cop and I wish that I had a stripper cop.

    • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

      It’s so funny how disgusted she looks by what is going on in that stripper cop photo, yet she has reenacted that pose/behavior so many times since.

    • Psychotic Today says:

      This makes me really sad. I’m turning 26 next month and looking at pictures of her when she was 26… WOW. She was actually pretty. She had pretty eyes, clear skin and looked decently healthy and skinny. Her downward spiral has been documented and when brought out like this really shines light on her crazy obsession with her looks.

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      The pictures are so different then, but so is the content. Consider this agenda she posted from “a day in the life.”. Remember – now its all cheesy skillets and penny stocks:

      I’m too tired to get into details now, but in case you were confused about yesterday’s chronology…
      3 pm – Return from Princeton

      6 pm – Dinner at Nick & Toni’s with Mary, CD, Parents, Britt & Allie  

      8 pm – NY City Ballet with CD

      10:45 pm – Back to my apt to freshen up for late night festivities

      11:15 pm – Off to 30 Rock to crash ice skating rink, ride zamboni

      12:30 am – Drinks at the Waldorf with CD

      1 am – McCormicks for the SNL afterparty

      4 am – Professor Thom’s for the SNL after-AFTER party

      6 am – Home.  Walk puppy.

      7:30 am (softbooked) – Go to bed.

      Tomorrow

      1:30 pm – Fitting for birthday dress 

      4 pm – CNN international

      6 pm – dinner with Meghan, Mary & friends

      8 pm – New York magazine’s Oscar viewing party at the Spotted Pig

      11 pm – Funny or Die afterparty 

  45. Afghani says:

    20-something Julia imagined herself in the category of an Anna Mahler or Harriet Smithson–an attractive woman and a muse to a successful, creative partner. No one really criticizes such women, even the men whose hearts are ultimately broken after the OBO. Julia just annointed herself as being that special, without a shred of talent, dignity, or (most of all) self-awareness.

  46. Afghani says:

    OT, but for those of you who wonder what Loren is up to (RRR, admit it…), I think he stopped taking his meds:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hxl5A4xLgi0

  47. Norse Horse says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    My favorite millionaire @timothysykes is giving away 20k & the chance to be MISS PENNY STOCK (you can’t make this up): http://www.misspennystock.com/

    Oh my GOD, would you look at that depraved link? (SFW, just hideously tacky). Penny stocks, how glamorous. It’s like a cattle call for attractive women “Girls will be asked to model in their bikini’s (sic) and cocktail outfits for the judges.” Godawful. Donks would make a good madam at a whorehouse. Seriously, the top picture at that link is unbelievable. Sooo classy.

    • Afghani says:

      beyond tacky.

      and trading penny stocks… a great way for rubes to piss away money, I guess.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Chick on the far right (our left) … where’s the shin of her left leg?
      Chick on the far right … was she on ANTM?

      • Tingolayo says:

        It’s like the Joe Theismann clip– legs just don’t bend like that. (Don’t search unless you have a strong stomach.)

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Will there be tiaras?

      ALL THE GIRLS can be exploited to hell & back, & Feminist D0nkey will help …

      So long as there are tiaras.

    • Malformed Face says:

      You might win a trip to Las Vegas OR OR OR OR… the Maldives, because you know, those two places are interchangeable.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      It looks like a Brazzers banner. Thank god she is protecting all the girls, I don’t know where feminism would be without her help.

    • Tingolayo says:

      “Girls will have a chance to rub shoulders with some of the most important businessmen in America”. That’s nice– is it “Dads, Take Your Daughters to Work” Day? Children, especially girls, should be encouraged to learn about investing, beyond putting money in the piggybank. I wonder whether they’ll do something with boys and businesswomen, too.

      Women as mascots. Fuck you, Timothy Sykes, whoever you are, and your groupie Julia for thinking that this is an exciting career opportunity. He’s “giving away” $20,000? Um, I think that “representing” his “brand” “globally” and “locally” is actual work. He’s not giving away a prize. I hate this shit: you should be so thrilled to be selected Miss Bikini Model, and so grateful that you get to travel the world, because you’re just a girl and you’re too dumb to negotiate an actual job. This job is so glamorous, you should really be doing it for free! But here’s a $20,000 “prize” (not a salary– that’s for men.)

      • Greg says:

        Ugh, disgusting. I don’t think it’s shoulders the “winner” is going to be rubbing.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Wha …? Da …? Fuk …?

        He now is a financial activist where he exposes corporations, companies and individuals involved in ‘pump and dump’ scams

        Did you know that you can rate his wikipedia page?

    • Scooby Don't says:

      So this guy’s the Joe Francis of penny stocks?
      Warning to any girls attending these events, don’t let your drink out of your sight.
      I get a very roofy feel about the whole situation.
      Seriously Sykes, save yourself the lawsuits and criminal charges and just hire some escorts.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
      My favorite millionaire @timothysykes is giving away 20k & the chance to be MISS PENNY STOCK (you can’t make this up):

      Amy ‏@amybizzarri
      @JuliaAllison @timothysykes I wish The grand winner had the chance to “rub shoulders” with famous businessWOMEN too.

      Timothy Sykes ‏@timothysykes
      @amybizzarri @JuliaAllison Actually Amy we have big plans for Miss Penny Stock, this is not just a little modeling contest, you’ll see</i.

  48. Andy Whorehol says:

    It’s funny to watch this clip and remember the Nonsociety salad days of yore.
    Especially considering how all the “sisters” have since fled the Donkey’s stable in horror.
    At least Jordan appears to have fled with her reputation in tact and has another season of her little web show she’s filming while she nests in her new house in the ‘burbs. Mary appears content to simply review hotels/spas and jet-set with her boyfriend. Very telling that Katrina now appears to have Donk-nesea and has no mentions of Nonsociety in her bio and has since deleted her vimeo account. Even Meghan deleted her old vimeo account and has since started a brand new one to showcase her current career as….as…an occassional tech commentator/Home Shopping Network saleswoman?

    http://vimeo.com/user232778

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      “technology expert!” Is if she is still trying to make that happen?!

      [img]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m93flynvPp1rtyaky.gif[/img]

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I wonder if she’s still pulling in major coin as a Facebook Profile Photo Consultant — such an important and growing field.

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