Julia Allison pushed some vegetables around in a pan and thinks she deserves some sort of lady medal.
What? Is with this chick and catfish? Way to class up a nice, romantic dinner with a cheap and slimy bottom feeder. And catfish is disgusting, too, as is talapia, while we’re at it, as is sweet potatoes for dessert. And don’t start the “but sweet potatoes are good when you. . . .” debate again, because, no, they are not. Keep that white people shit to yourself. Sweet potatoes are the devil’s starch. And Julia Allison is a cloven-hoofed demon of the highest order.
Jesus, bake him a cake (with flour), and give him a handy, and be done with it. And keep that shit off Twitter. Stop acting like successfully making A SALAD is your life’s greatest accomplishment, even though, sadly, it is.
P.S. I haven’t been paying attention. Why do we call this new dude Goat Soup?
I don’t think it counts as cooking unless a conventional stove, toaster oven, or microwave is involved. Otherwise, you’re just tossing a few greens and veggies together with some dressing.
Hey everybody…(wheez)…speaking of cooking…(gulp)…let me share my creative recipe…
http://huntergorham.com/video/hunter-s-creative-recipe.html
Um…how you doin’, Hunter?
Hi Hunter. I bit and clicked on your link. As I watched your ‘meet Hunter’ video, my 8 yr. old daugther said, “That looks like NC.” Sure enough. Outer Banks is my most favorite place in the world. Almost all of it. I’ve never been as south as Figure 8 Island. There’s just something about that place you either get or you don’t. I get it
Just overwhelmed at the huge green salad. wowsers.
Goat Soap: Donk’s dude (pity the fucker) went to some soap-making evening. There were giggles and some discussion here and I believe goat’s milk came into it and Goat Soap was born. Bless his challenged little heart.
Goat Soap, I love it. All the best donkey scrubbers around town are using it.
Wondering how Dadsers and him are getting along. Especially after Pancakes.
Also, back to the HUGE green salad. Who the fuck says HUGE green salad. If anything you try not to draw attention to it, a lazy plate filler that you can sell on the basis it’s healthy. No effort at all needed. Wow, Donkey, did you stick two hands into the plastic bag of prepackaged green salad instead of one.
I know it’s a small thing but she is so full of shit in everything, everyfuckingthing.
It’s not that big of an accomplishment. If you’re going to be proud of anything, be proud of the fish. Even if it is nasty. I wonder if she’s even bothered to ask if he has food allergies. It’d be a shame if he were allergic to catfish, and had no access to an epi-pen.
Maybe that’s what he was hoping for – quick death by catfish.
hahahaha!
You’d think she’d be extra cautious right now–until she gets the rock, and the wedding band, that is.
And wow, green salad? What, as opposed to, say, blue or yellow salad?
I hate to be in the position of defending JA but……fruit salad, macaroni salad, potato salad, waldorf salad, chicken salad, tuna salad, ham salad, bean salad, egg salad, pasta salad, antipasto salad and so on.
Tsk, I know, but if someone says, ‘I made fish, vegetables and a salad,’ I assume they mean a tossed salad. If you go to a restaurant and order a “side salad” it’s not those other kinds.
I don’t want to get pedantic about it, I just think in this case it’s redundant.
Right, it’s not she she even took five minutes to make a chopped salad with some interesting things in it. It’s greens. And she probably didn’t even wash them. YUMK
So she basically made what monsters makes her and cooked dinner for herself. Goat Soap looks like he could use a few pounds–why not just get him a double dish pizza? She sucks.
I love that autocorrect.
Momsers (broken down from all the crying/whining/braying) probably broke down and made it for her.
“Chef Monsters”
ring ring
This also appears to be almost exactly menu that was served at the dinner party on Miss Advised, right down to the sweet potatoes. Video here: http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-07-24/truly-miss-advised-prom-dates-awkward-breakups-a-boring-dinner-party-10-millions-signs-that-hes-just-not-that-into-you/
Oy, exactly the same menu. Not so secret failure to proofread.
DAMNIT I sucked myself into watching the clips from the episode. It’s just ONE plane ride Andrew! Idk about everyone else, but transporting by plane, no matter how long the flight, is kinda a big deal to me.
I felt Andrew’s increasing creepiness in that episode. He was seeing Defcon-5 Insanity in full bloom, and I’m sure was counting the hours until he could bolt. Nothing worse than walking into a situation, having the inner survival voice scream “Run for your life!”, but knowing you’re stuck for hours.
Yeah, that alarm used to go off in my head all the time in college when I’d buy really shitty pot from this two bit nitwit donk-alike. Ugh, she took an unusual liking to me and would constantly manipulate me into staying at her stupid apartment (complete with giant stuffed pink unicorn and it’s metallic rainbow streamer tail hanging over her bed) waaaaaay after I’d ponied up my $20 for a ziploc-ed wadded up corner of stems and seeds. You practically had to fuck her just to get out of there.
Yep, Some Donks love to corral impressionable gay guys (I’m looking at you Goat Soap) into polking their mulekoozes, not so much out of horniness, but desperation (and it makes them feel powerfully desirable to “turn” a guy).
PS–For the record, I NEVER’d that donkey.
Pineapple Express!
And then having to spend the night on a neon pink pillow engraved with your captor’s initials. If I were Andrew, the moment a donkey shrieked and subsequently fell on the floor at the sight of my face, I would know shit was getting real, and this was no place for a jelly donut.
He wanted out so bad. You knew he was fucked by the three episode arc contract he signed.
Son, I have to tell you this: fried catfish was what got the Israelites through the 40 years wandering in the wilderness. It showed up every day from heavin like clockwork just….BAM….right outen the air. They called it “manna” because they hadn’t been interduced to the word “catfish”.
It remains manna today to every good Bible Thumpin’ Southern Baptist and even the rest of the heathern world. Selah.
I love me some Preacher Jim.
Now if only Reader Becky, Jesus and God would make appearances.
I’m naming my next cat after Reader Becky.
I’m naming my next cat after Reader Becky.
(just in case anyone missed that the first time; thx wordpress!)
Lo, I am with thee always. You can quote me on that.
Son, I told you to go to your room.
Catfish isn’t kosher. Israelites wouldn’t have eaten a bottom feeder. Got that Donk, you fuckin bottom feeding ho?
I really really hope some little birdies pop out to give us the real scoop after this weekend. Of course Donkey is going to announce that her parents LOVE her new BEAU and all is wonderful with the Baugher clan.
I want the real story.
Me too, Slippy, me too.
I can tell you the faked story: SHE WAS HACKED!
Again.
I haven’t seen anyone squee about “A boy’s coming over to meet my parents and I’M cooking dinner! OMG!” since we were in high school. But that’s probably because I am a grown-up and I’ve been feeding myself real, hot meals for years, which I have (OMG!) often shared with other grow-ups.
And if you don’t cook, you can take someone out to dinner and pay for it yourself, like a grown-up does.
Agreed.
Also, I really, really don’t get how the Donk can’t cook. I taught myself to cook from reading foodblogs. I’m not the greatest, but if you can read and follow directions, there are pretty basic things you can make. Cooking isn’t magic.
It’s ok if you hate cooking or don’t have time to cook or admit you don’t want to learn because of reasons, but in Donkey’s case, it’s just another manifestation of her supreme laziness.
Despite listing the specific vegetables she pushed around in a pan, no clarification on how said catfish was prepared. Julia! Did you shake a bunch of lemon pepper on top and overbake it? Did you braise it to perfection in a cast iron skillet? Did Momsers trust you with the family recipe (involves cranberries)? How fuck did you manage to render this fish edible? No idea why, but this is LITERALLY the only topic where I have ever WANTED more details regarding Julia Allison’s life – other than where she got that belt – and perversely the only topic where no more details are thrust into my face. #fish
I also think we should call this guy Catfish instead. #pancakes
Catfish or HUGE Salad…
I vote for HUGE Salad. He’s kinda green and has no luck with tomatoes.
Yes, but then he’ll have to live up to the HUGE part, and I really don’t wanna see what size zucchini he’s packing. Fruit Salad, maybe?
I wouldn’t worry.
I suspect his banana split.
Touche. Hey, maybe we should call him that. Banana Split.
You had to have the BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG salad.
exactly….”It’s a salad only it’s BIG, with lots of STUFF in it”
It was in a big bag of breaded, frozen catfish — just like fish sticks, but with catfish… and all she did was dump pieces onto a cookie sheet and shove into the oven, after Momsers taught her how to set the temperature.
Tossed Salad.
Ewwwwww…
Imagine eating a huge salad & undercooked catfish, and then licking Julia Allison’s farty bunghole.
#iam12
Well, that’d really make him toss his salad…
Is it wrong that at my advanced age I’m laugh-gagging at this comment?
Not at all. I found it hilarious.
me, too
You weren’t wrong. That was actually a very insightful statement.
Did I miss something when Hunter Gorham joined the cat basement? Or am I just being too literal pre-morning tea?
it is a Nom du Donque.
Got it. I let my lack of caffeine and excitement over this potential cat lady acquisition overpower my reason. When [Redacted]‘s mom is on the boards, it seems like anything is possible.
I could be wrong, but I don’t think she’s been around here since before he wagged his ween in the wedding pic.
I don’t mean that Donk is commenting under that name. that would be way too clever for her. She comments under generic female names usually, like Casey or Kayla or the like.
I meant it is not the real Hunter, just someone using the name Hunter for our entertainment.
Now I feel really stupid.
oh my Greg, that made me laugh.
Off topic, but, has anyone here heard the Julia Child remix NBC put out? Laughed my ass off, I loved her show.
This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen.
Bring on the roasted potatoes…
Awesome Julia Child tribute the other day on PBS Newshour. It was her birthday or some sort of anniversary or whatever…. But basically it talked about how her essence was of teacher AND student and she developed a highly appealing, though idiosyncratic, brand and spread joy and launched careers in pioneer days. Take that hollow Julia.
Also I highly suspect she bought the catfish and monumental salad as well as the odd yam dessert. And I doubt convenient instant boyfriend eats much or cares really – since he’s hovering around this trout.
For the record I love catfish and tilapia when prepared thoughtfully. I had some questionable flounder last night in Corolla which is apparently the Ocean City of North Carolina these days, who knew?
I haven’t been to the OBX in years, and I live in NC. I feel so out of touch.
Now there was a real self-made woman with a real career (and quite a passionate marriage, I might add).
Didn’t she also do some covert intelligence work?
A kick ass chef and a spy too!
Her namesake can only dream to have a yoctometre of the respect and coolness of Ms. Child.
Meat free living right there. Ugh, can you imagine showing up for a “hot date” and your lover made you…catfish? And onions? And a vegetable for dessert?
This guy has no penis.
Maybe I’m weird, but before I offer to cook, I try to get an idea of what someone likes, and what they’re allergic to–because I have severe food allergies myself–and it’s just common courtesy. How weird would it be if he showed up and made a face, because he was hoping for something carb heavy like pasta, and maybe a bottle of red wine?
she’s clearly made that exact menu before and he’s been dating her for months, he’s probably used to her pescatarianism. i hate giving her credit, but no one dating julia allison would expect to be fed carbs.
Seriously, if you’re going to treat your man with a fish dinner, go buy a really nice piece of fish. Halibut, red snapper, tuna, even a piece of wild salmon. Catfish? Wow, thanks.
Wild salmon is some of the best fish on the market, and one of the cheapest–holds flavor really good as well. I’ve had catfish before, back before I developed the allergy, and it’s…eh. She could have done better, IMHO.
Catfish unless deepfried is fucking gross. What the fuck is wrong her? Who the hell serve serves catfish unless your shitfaced drunk around a campfire lighting your farts on fire. For lifelong pescatarian you’d think she’d have a wide pallet for different types of fish.
Where is her mom? Any person with a fuck to give would say “You don’t want to do that”. I don’t think my fish monger even carries catfish. It boggles my mind trying to figure out how she got this idea in her head. Where in the world did she eat non-deep fried catfish and thought…mmmmm I can’t cook but I want to cook this nasty tasting fish and then serve it to other people.
IMO she thinks catfish sounds exotic (vs salmon) and it sounds like a good compliment to her menu; like everything else in her life its the appearance not the substance.
That’s what is so funny about it though. She thought it sounded exotic or something and it just sounds so off, like she was raised in the forest by wolves and is just now learning how to integrate into human society. Her attempts at mimicking normal human-type things like cooking dinner and being humorous and having a boyfriend are always so bizarre.
Yea why not spam?
Lol — like Daryl Hannah in “Splash”
OMGreg, that is brilliant insight.
agreed. Also, I noticed she didn’t talk about ALL of them sitting down to dinner — just talked about making HIM dinner…
She didn’t post a fauxto taken buy Dad$er of her wearing an apron & freshwater pearls while hip-checking the stove, so it’s a safe bet that her folk$ haven’t yet had the experience of seeing an honest-to-goodness code monkey up close & personal.
Didn’t she have Momsers make her catfish for Thanksgiving dinner some year recently? Methinks it’s another Baugher family secret recipe.
She has Momser’s make her catfish every year. What better way for a Donkey to draw attention to herself on a day built around a meal than by demanding an entirely separate meal? Such a tool.
Or Momsers.
I was born in Indiana, about a two-hour drive away from Chicago. Catfish was ALWAYS breaded and fried. It was a treat that as only ever enjoyed at “that catfish place”, which was a half-hour’s drive away, past many a corn field, in a town even smaller than our own. Every county had at least one. Most folks went there once a month: bachelors and widowers went once a week, after church, with their mothers in tow.
There’s a hamburger joint here in town that has a once-a-week, all-you-can-eat fried catfish special — people love it — personally, I can’t even stomach the idea of gorging on fish, but we’re talking ‘a line out the door & down the sidewalk kind of devotion’ that’s been a tradition for damn near 30 years.
I didn’t know you were a fellow Hoosier! Wait, maybe I did. Cheers, at any rate!
I’m a Hoosier as well.
#hoosierprice #Messica #Juliasmissingyear
I’m a Hoosier by alma mater. #messica knows
“wide pallet” – new euphemism meaning “raft-ass”
Deep fried catfish is delicious, but a Donkey is so white and waspy I doubt she even knows how to deep fry anything.
deep fried anything is amazing. The guys that clean my car weekly do a french fry count. This week most actually made it into my mouth/hips. Yeah for getting better aim.
I always wondered why she never eats quality fish.
She also made it for her fancy NYE dinner party when she was with Pancakes, as I recall.
Aw, poor “Meat Free” Goat Soap.
This. A fucking sweet potato for dessert? That’s what I had when I was in the throes of an eating disorder. You don’t feed men like they’re orthorexics with bad taste in seafood.
Love how her narcissism even extends to feeding a man what SHE likes, rather than what he likes. Fucking catfish?!
I only ate fish and poultry for many years before going veggie (again) not too long ago. I loved fish, and I never, ever ate catfish. Jesus. I don’t even know if I’ve ever seen that on any menu. Isn’t fried catfish generally the way it’s served as like, a southern thing? Sounds gross.
Also, love some salad with my vegetables. God forbid she made some rice or something.
It doesn’t sound gross fried, anything fried is good. It sounds gross otherwise. I never knew anyone to eat catfish regularly as a thing. She is an alien.
Catfish is cheap, and so is she.
Fried catfish nuggets, hot sauce, mayo, lettuce, and tomato….mmmmmmmm.
catfish is straight up white trash. I could maybe enjoy it as part of a fish sandwich, at a fair, but even then I’d prefer whitefish. It has the most nausea-inducing mud taste. It’s disgusting.
I was about to agree on that. Nobody in my family wanted to let it be brought into the house, when we went fishing, that was always the one that got released, because it was a bottom feeder.
It is what it eats and it eats shit.
I would think if you’re going for a fish you don’t see often on a dinner table, you’d go for a trout, but, that’s just me.
Trout is amazing. Once, someone gave me a trout they’d caught and smoked. It made my mouth genuflect.
In my opinion, nothing is better than a trout you catch yourself, and cook yourself. Ah, the joys of being southern, right?
And as I suspected, most recipes I’ve seen of catfish online are southern fried catfish type dealios. She fails at life.
Sweet potato pie is actually not bad for dessert, it is like pumpkin pie. But she didn’t say they had pie.
The only other way I can stand sweet potatoes is as fries, with horseradish sauce. Those actually would not be bad with fish.
Sweet potato pie, when done right, is absolutely fantastic IMHO. I just prefer sweet potatoes as a side item I guess, and at Thanksgiving.
Pie is one thing. Just serving a vegetable and calling it a dessert because your identity of the month is a “healthy living” person is lame as fuck. Just eat a goddamn gluten free brownie and stop being such a fucking fake. We know you are scarfing down chocolate bars in secret, and I would be too if this is the only shit I knew how to prepare myself as sustenance.
I would love to see how she’d nourish herself if she had to live the way I do. Seriously. No soy, no coconut, no seafood, none of that health food crap. Having to cook everything yourself that you ingest, just to make sure you don’t have a severe allergic reaction. She’d die, I think.
Also, I read somewhere not too long ago that unless you are seriously allergic to gluten and wheat products, there are no real health benefits to avoiding it. At the rate she’s going, NOTHING will be worth eating.
How about a fruit salad with sugar free whip cream, and a bowl of sugar/splenda on the side. Is it that tough?
When my man showed up at my doorstep 10 years ago after driving across country with all his worldly possessions (minus the gun), I served him steak. And then I served him myself.
Tuna steak, salmon: YUM; catfish: eughhh. Stupid Yankees.
Right? Although, guessing Goat Soap at least got a blow job out of the deal… or maybe not, maybe just a tour of the second fridge.
stalker did you say you’d live in chicago? is Julie well known there in real life? say she shows up at a restaurant downtown, does anybody have any idea who she is?
no, not I. I am in the gret stet of Kentucky.
oops! mixed up – regardless, I do agree: Tuna Steak = yes, Catfish = shower vomit
No worries!
(newb!)
(kidding!!!!)
My first ever: YOU RANG?
Kentucky is indeed great — I was born there, that’s why.
but to answer your question, we’ve had eyewitness reports from Chicago and nobody knows whothafuk she is. Also the Melmans drunk-emailed partypants once to disclaim any association with Baugherdom.
Really? But they LOVE her
Thank you Stalker.
Ha, the Drunk Melman’s, that was freakin’ hilarious. Was it in chat or just a GOMI thread where PP revealed it? I seem to remember it unfolding in real time, so to speak.
i remember a GOMI post but I could be wrong… It might have started in chat (haven’t ever been in GOMI chat).
I’ve never been to GOMI chat either; was thinking of back when PP still ran the RBNS chat (& now I’m remembering the pizza delivery guy updates. Lulz).
I’m in Chicago (2 blocks from the OMG!downtown condo) and no one knows who the hell she is here.
Also, juliaspublicist, “And don’t start the ‘but sweet potatoes are good when you. . . .’ debate again, because, no, they are not. Keep that white people shit to yourself.” is why Jack McCain’s lawyer will NEVAR keep me from enjoying this site. You bishes are on fire this morning.
Two blocks away??? Can you see the unit? Are her sweaty pelts air-drying on the balcony railing? Did Raul leave the blinds open? Why is Goat Soap wearing Spanx when he’s got such a nice natural swimmers build? Why is Donkey using a penis pump on her lips when Goat Soap is the one suffering from a case of Limpworm?
Finally, was that Donkey sleeping on the fold out couch last night while Raul and Goat Soap took the California King-sized waterbed?
You’re too close to her! My head is going to explode!!!
So wait, she has been dating Beaujob (my favorite name for him) since May, and for some reason in mid-August she thinks it’s such an accomplishment to cook a pretty basic meal that she has to put the details of it on the Internet? Is there something culinarily magic about Chicago vs. LA that’s suddenly turned her into domestic goddess? She makes this sound like the first time she’s cooked for him.
I wonder if she’ll post every time she and The Boyfriend take a glorious shit.
This is right on schedule for a Labor Day breakup.
almost spewed coffee on this one, Hunter…Maybe you should be ‘breakup tracker’ instead
Yeah fireworks for labor day!
I’ll bet anybody here five bucks & a beer that the slimy catfish was filched from Mom$er’$ auxiliary freezer.
Yes. Was it you earlier in the thread who said it was probably fishstick-esque premade stuff out of the freezer? I think that is dead on. Julia clearly raided her parents’ house for ingredients; given her mom’s guacamole recipe I wouldn’t be surprised if the sweet potato was canned.
she can’t be bothered to plan a surprise dinner for her boyfriend — she had to be up all night tweeting from the basement! This girl is lazy and thinks only of herself. She should have been up all night scouring recipes for a big feast. And again, I note no mention of Momsers helping her — joining in the family effort to welcome the Checklist-bustin’ Love of Her Life
Wasn’t me. Mechanically-engineered “fish” byproducts give me the effen heebie jeebies just thinking about them, thanks to what someone here (mcakez?) once said a friend in the business told them about the process.
#Actual shower-vomming may ensue …
I offered that comment — I’ve seen cornfish breaded catfish in the bag
gah! correction: cornMEAL breaded catfish in a bag. People cook ‘em just like fish sticks. Very little effort required — perfect for the culinary genius of Donkey Chef.
Yes, the Baughers love frozen premade food. Remember how she went on and on about frozen pureed butternut squash?
Wasn’t that a thanksgiving thing too? I feel certain her mother made all of this and the only Julie contributed was the salad.
momsers’ thanksgiving catfish: http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/258854915
NYE catfish with pancakes: http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/2569613428
frozen squash “dessert”: http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/235348163
I don’t know why she’s gone all Julia Child in Chicago, but if I flew into town and I wasn’t immediately taken out for pizza, I’d be peeved.
So would I, I hear their deep dish pizza is the BEST evar.
Well the Baughers of Wilmette don’t take you out for pizza.
They pick you up at the airport with it in the car and make you eat it on the way home.
They’re classy like that.
This is a situation where I’d like an Oxford comma. Now it reads like the catfish and sweet potatoes were both elements of dessert. Granted, that’s probably because only an asshole would serve sweet potatoes for dessert in this context. Way to showcase local delicacies for your guest, Bogger. He’ll be raving about that green salad for…NEVER.
Thank you! I am weirdly belligerent about Oxford/Serial commas being the way to go EVERY time. The entire office was arguing about it yesterday. Too funny to see it brought up here.
I’m changing my name in honor of her illiteracy, poor taste and crippling lack of basic life skills.
It’s Oxford comma or bust. I don’t understand why people hate it, it’s for clarity’s sake!
Eats, shoots, and leaves
vs.
Eats shoots, and leaves
vs.
Eats shoots and leaves
Or: eats, shoots and leaves
brays clomps & tweets
She really is stuck in one groove. Remember when Pancakes asked her to cook dinner for a few days? She crowdsourced recipes on twitter all day and then made fried vegetables and grilled corn. Not even any fish or a veggieburger.
Also, wasn’t her gala New Year’s Eve dinner also catfish? I also don’t get the devotion to it.
Omg I said “also” 3 times. I am also stuck in a groove.
I had forgotten that episode of the Pancakes No Variety Hour. He probably told her if she planned to [romper]squat in his mother’s home, the least she could do is manage some basic chores.
Frozen broccoli with garlic salt. It sounded horrible.
She must be trying to get a catfish campaign going. Like Pork the other white meat.
Catfish for the Crazy (just doesn’t have the same ring, does it?)
I am shocked – shocked – by the hatred shown the humble catfish here. Dusted with cornmeal and fried, it is a fabulous little beast (although nothing I’d make as a romantic dinner).
Sweet potatoes, on the other hand (shudder).
However it’s precisely the above response that keeps fish off the menu for first-time meals with anyone: it’s simply too subject to personal taste to be a safe choice. I know people who refuse to eat any kind of fish because they find it, guess what, too fishy. And by “I know” I mean “they gave birth to me.”
My guess is she asked him what he wanted to eat the first night, he whispered “your tuna” and of course the ding-a-ling misunderstood.
^^^^ Funniest post of the day, so far, to me anyway.
Keep slaying it RRR!
Judging solely from what we’ve seen so far, I highly doubt he wants any part of her fish; tuna, taco, or otherwise…
No, I suspect this one likes bananas and sword fish…
A+++++++++++
bingo
Her tuna is probably very similar to catfish.
She was probably hoping the lingering catfish smell would fool him. Like blaming Lily for Donk’s stinky farts.
That might work when they’re up and about, but what happens when she gasses the bed, and Lilly’s in another room…
that’s it…I’m setting my coffee down until I’ve caught up with the thread, dammit. My white shirt is in danger
Yuck.
I bet he would have preffered a grilled-cheese sammy, (w/ bacon and tomato), and a bowl of tomato soup. A package of funny bones would have been a better dessert.
I would also prefer to have spelled *preferred* correctly.
Tots OT: Had BLTs the other day in which the T was leftover fried green tomato … oh. my. greg. … best stoner food ever.
ahhhhhhhh
that sounds really good. i might need to make this for myself.
The capitalization of The Boyfriend is giving me the brayges.
But it’s my favorite Kurt Russell film! (Minus all of the other ones.)
Escape from New York was surpassed only by the amazing followup Escape from LA.
loved Overboard
And I meant Ken…
#shitty1971musicalreferencefail
too late, RRR — we’re on a Kurt Russell binge now…:-)
Okay, then I vote for “The Thing.”
One of my top five movies. Very underrated.
Ken Russell — maker of “The Music Lovers”? Made in 1970? …..Never heard of it
Ahhhh, I see now, RRR….that is BAD, bad, bad…thereby making your original attempt at a Ken Russell joke very valiant indeed.
The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes
Used Cars! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081698/
Don’t forget “Big Trouble in Little China”. A classic movie!
YES
I watched that for the first time last year when I was sick and thoroughly enjoyed it. Ah, the movies my parents didn’t want me to see when I was a kid…
She is a frickin 31-year-old woman. Who says The Boy or The Boyfriend (or Sir William or Prom King or whatever)? It’s “the man I’m dating” or “my boyfriend” or, best of all, his actual name.
Oh, I know who says The Boy– Sarah Jessica Parker, who portrayed our idol Carrie Bradshaw. But she isn’t actually Carrie Bradshaw, she’s a regular grown-up person, and she was talking about her SON when he was little.
I thought the term “The Boyfriend” would be more correctly worded as “The Boyfriend — (insert current name here)” — maybe she should start a numbering system of serial numbers…you know, in sequence, followed by the current year. Like homicide case numbers.
I didn’t even say that when I was a teen. I’ve always said “the man”, in recent months “the hubby” or “the hubby to be”, but that’s only because he started it first. It makes me a wee bit sick to see a 31 year old woman doing it.
It’s just a shame that Grandmother never met The Boyfriend. Oh wait, of course, Grandmother sent Julia The Boyfriend from the Grave.
I think this boyfriend would have sent Grandmother to her grave.
A crystal loving, tarot card-reading psychic told Donk she would meet the transmigrated spirit of dead granny now inhabiting a tall, dick-owning glass of goat-flavored water.
Juila knew he was the one when he was wearing a night gown just like her grandmother’s.
Catfish???
Catfish!
So puzzling, her bland choice of major milestone and “welcome to Chicago and our family home” dinner — you know, since she went to the grocery store in Manhattan and cooked all the time. Such a tall-tale-humblebragger, she is.
she cooked SALADS (huge)!
And green. Very green. So green.
Why didn’t she just take him out to dinner? It’s summertime in arguably the best dining city in America. A nice meal and cocktail in a casual restaurant with her “friends”, if she has any, would make more sense to me.. Why didn’t she plan anything? She’s the least thoughtful person ever.. She can cook him a crappy catfish dinner any day of the week in Marina Del Ray. Meet the parents for and hour or so then go explore a great city like a normal 30 year old that’s in “love”..
But she’s tired of dinner for a date! She likes horseback riding while tasting wine at the beach…and finding horseshoe crabs, sometimes, and throwing them back out into the water or at each other, screaming with hysterical laughter and fun. Sometimes they dip candles. Her favorite recent date involved carving a pair of clasped hands out of a salt lick. Feh to you and your dull, uninspired eating of things that shall taste deliciously to me.
Love
(or anything pictured in the “Three’s Company” intro, i.e. walking arm-in-arm along the boardwalk eating sweet potato flavored cotton candy)
HAHAHHAHAH!
exactly. Something is very wrong with this whole setup
Because, silly, she had to get back to her fulltime job of Tweeting people — fawning “I love yous” for all the @stupidwomen, crowd-sourcing for advice on basic life skills and snarkily challenging all the @smartpeople who rightfully despise her.
Who the hell does she think she is, Paula Deen post-diabetes diagnosis? This meal sounds like something from the “Healthy Options” section of the Kenny Rogers’ Roasters menu in the mall food court. What Goat Soap fails to realize is that this is the best it’s going to get, and everything else is going to be half-assed substandard versions of that meal until he dumps her. I will say to Donk, like Madonna would say about Gaga in true twat-style: “That meal is so …reductive.”
Re: “Reductive” – I can’t wait to see Donkey use this word in a twat about this meal/weight loss. #bigwords #shesdoingitwrong
Mmmmm… catfish.
I’d scarf that whole meal down if it didn’t have onions in it. It sounds pretty good to me otherwise.
She’s not twittering it because it’s a huuuge accomplishment. She’s twittering it because she has no filter whatsoever and will post any damn thing online. It’s her thing.
I’ve got it: She had to feed him because her parents have him in the basement, circling him while he sits in a chair under a bright lamp — interrogating him about his 401(k), intentions to support their daughter, etc….you know, just like she thought they would do to Andrew/JellyD, as she was lamenting that he wouldn’t be the type to measure up. Goat Soap is a FAR better candidate for the witness stand downstairs.
The entire north-facing wall of the basement is a whiteboard of unchecked 73-Point bullets; the piped-in muzak alternates at 85dB between Flusher Price’s rendition of said checklist or Bach, lots & lots of Bach; a perky D0nkey hovers furtively in the shadows to avoid the Klieg lights further melting her face while on the phone with Apple getting the password to Goaty’s phone reset.
Meanwhile, Mom$er sniffs the air, detecting the familiar odor of urine, & absentmindedly wonders when Lilly left a puddle on the floor under the chair of The Whimpering Boyfriend.
And all of this is just the beginning of what will culminate in the Baugher basement version of the final scene of “Reservior Dogs”.
Tots related, because no shit, the guy in the middle’s nickname is”Donkey”.
lerv.
absolutely this
she’s feeding him catfish to prepare him for battle with the catladies.
julia has found the warrior that will defend her honor and shut us jealous haters up once and for all. Is that sweet, potatoes?
Who wants to bet the green salad was little more than lettuce leaves, uncut cherry tomatoes and chunks of cucumber?
Because if it actually looked presentable she would’ve posted it for shizzle.
with a skin tag garnish
well they are green
She put the airplane salad in her purse on the flight to Chicago and just fluffed it up and dusted it with a little vinaigrette when she got to the condo.
Bottled vinaigrette, I am certain.
It’s just her way of saying, “See, sad sort of adults, I totally make sure I always eat healthy. Who even remembers Cheesy Skillets? That was months ago.”
Everything she likes is just so fucking pedestrian. Her insanity is the only thing interesting about her.
When something sound so off, like the catfish, for example, it’s a lie. She didn’t cook him dinner. The end.
we have a winner
She probably didn’t even open the frozen food bags for Mom$er.
Donkey:
I made The Boyfriend a huge green salad, sautéed vegetables (squash, onions zucchini), catfish & sweet potatoes for dessert!
Transbraytion:
I went to Trader Joe’s (it sucks to do your shopping yourself, the line was so long, I need a travelling intern NOW!!!), I got a big bag of salad, a tray with some vegetables, some fish-in-a-bag (catfish is not made of cat meat, right?.That would be funny, ha ha,, cat meat….), some chocolate for ME ME MEEEE and a 99c sweet potato mix in a can that was near the checkout. As soon as I get home, I am going to eat the chocolate and ask Mom to plate and microwave all the stuff (How much do you microwave a green salad??? Anybody know??) and then I am going to tweet humblebragging about it but I will capitalize the word Boyfriend so that the whole Internet know how much I love him (ha ha! I can’t cook but I can tweet!). Then I’ll go back to my favorite pastime: googling myself. MOOOOOM!! How do I serve a salad??? Do we have some kind of salad serving tools ?? MOOOOOOOOM!
You’re right. The only thing she can cook is a tweet.
She can also cook a fart.
My favorite comment of the day.
Tweets the whore who can’t use a search engine.
C.U.N.T.
D0nkey seems irrationally excited at the prospect of a man sticking something in her gaping maw, alright. Downright perky, some might say.
Maybe her dentist gives out shoes instead of free toothbrushes?
Or lollipops. And THIS TIME she’s getting the pink one!
She makes me want to fan my fucking face while leaning against an antebellum column and say “My word, how dreadful.”
There is ZERO ammo in her brain. Hey you blockheaded donkey bitch, listen up: There’s nothing wrong with a person who doesn’t spell out the word “your”. There’s something wrong with admitting there’s something wrong with you (you said it flat out in your stupid tweet), and announcing to a world that doesn’t like you that you’re going to have your fake porcelain choppers buffed out, THEN proceed to insult dryben’s tweet when he actually gave you the time of day by responding to you directly, something I’d never waste my time doing.
So FUCK YOU and your giddy gingivitis prevention you dirtmouthed Donkey.
Excuse me, before Donkey has a chance to correct me since I’m sure she’s reading, let me correct my spelling above– “You’re”, with an apostrophe. Now shut up Donkey.
Doritos Locos Burros has not the nerve to respond to you, though. Sadly, she’d never admit to reading our comments where we all tell her she needs serious mental help. I don’t think she’d need those cheap ass veneers cleaned so much if she didn’t CONSTANTLY HAVE HER HEAD up her SPHINCTER!
Agreed, but wait, remember– She gave herself away when she did admit on national television (to mother earth pixie Annie Tralala, right?) that she reads comments on this blog. She truly has a giant lone Rice Krispy Tweet in a place where a normal person’s brain resides.
I wouldn’t worry about it. This is the Gtown grad who had to look up “piquant.”
How thoughtful.. You can spend the day with your boyfriend who is visiting Chicago or you go can to the dentist?! Unless she got into a hockey fight last night this makes no sense to me.. She is so random.. Does she ever plan anything?
good point….why didn’t she go to the dentist the few days she was there before Checklist Slayer got there?
“Checklist Slayer” – LOL!!!!!
That poor poor ignorant Donkey can’t distinguish between a misspelling and an abbreviation.
Let me try that again, Donkey style:
That poor poor ignorant Donkey can’t distinguish between a misspelling and an abbreviation
See? If I put a winky smiley at the end it’s a joke! Get it, Donks? Ha HA HA HAAA! Are you amused??? Ha ha haaa! I know I am!
And who doesn’t know the difference between “that” and “which.”
I also fucking hate “winky face” abusers.
I am SO quirky LOL! My vices include teeth cleanings, green juices
and call-me-crazy-and-unique Runyon hikes!
The mean ol’ internet just won’t stop teasing me about my cute lil’ quirks! I guess because all the stuff I’m into is so like, weird, and unheard of. I’m a tee-hee geek! I’m a total tooth whitening nerd you guys! I’m like a juice cleanse nerd omg lol!
quirky!
Slightly OT, but does Goat Soap tweet?
Anyone know? I would love to spend so much time cross-referencing the 2 lovebirds tweets. It would be quite entertaining.
He locked it down post haste once he became a topic of discussion here.
Slightly OT, but does Goat Soap tweet?
Anyone know? I would love to spend so much time cross-referencing the 2 lovebirds tweets. That would totes fill my entertainment quota until school starts in Sept.
Sorry for the double post! I tried to make my lest sentence wittier. You caught me.
hahahahah, I love this. who doesn’t do this?
Oh. I wondered why no one had answered ya when I replied above. ::sigh:: Here kittykitty kittykitty kittykitty
He does but a Donkey made him lock up his Twitter account the day we found out his favorite books were Halo fan fiction.
Oh, yes, that’s also the day she made him take down all his Halo fan fiction on Goodreads it replace them with Tim Ferris and Michael Ellsberg books.
I just about choked on my lunch when I read “Halo fan fiction.” This guy is the gift that keeps giving. Off to find the thread where you cat ladies initially discussed him…
Yeesh! If having a Donkey make you lock up your twitter isn’t a red flag, I don’t know what is.
You know how some people want to get caught, so they’re purposely sloppy about their lies/crimes?
I think donkey’s proud exclamation about cooking him catflish was a clue/confession about all her bullshit:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1584016/
I love that movie and think about it constantly in relation to Donk (creating a fantasy life out of fabricated Twitter and Facebook friends).
In fact, I sometimes imagine her going so far as to create A Goat Soap from a leftover box of clip art facial features and then photoshopping pics of them “together and in love”. That day can’t be far down the road; she needs to brush up in Illustrator.
Donkey’s antics in the kitchen remind me of one of my favorite episodes of a favorite long ago comedy: The Ellen Show, when Martha Stewart is coming to dinner — Fast forward to 11:50: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HtGoTPlOXE
She talks about entering Georgetown as a freshman in the article linked on her twitter. That is probably technically correct – maybe she didn’t bring any credits from her failure semester at Indiana.
She is such a lying liarpants. You transferred – the only shame in that comes from her, by trying to cover it up. Indiana U is a good school, why so embarrassed?
good catch…I ALWAYS list the two schools I attended when people ask where I went to college. Started in one, transferred & graduated from the other. It’s my way of giving a shout out to both.
It’s just so weird. Why doesn’t she just say “when I transferred to Georgetown” or something? It’s not shameful to transfer schools, especially if you’re going up like she does. She is so fake and weird.
It just underlines how scared she is to reveal the truth about IU and that fall semester.
Anyone else getting a distinct Tom and Katie feel here, where Donk is Tom and Skinny Gayish Guy is Katie?
TOTALLY! But Donkey doesn’t worship scientology, she just worships herself. I don’t know which is worse.
I’m telling you we need to bundle Donkey up and leave her at Scientology Los Angeles headquarters with a note: “Forward to Tom Cruise” — she’s PERFECT for him! Won’t be threatened by his constant bossing her around and an ever-present entourage; has plenty of money; gets plenty of attention everywhere he goes — all she has to do is let him lead her around while she travels the world by private jet and spends from an unlimited budget and asks NO questions. PERFECT MATCH!
She’s too dim. She’d screw it up with her tiny brain via her big mouth. Tom Cruise would NEVER trust Donkey with exposure to some of his sick secrets, no matter how iron clad her contractualized hoof print was on paper.
plus she bitches about EVERYTHING. And she’s a hamster on the wheel of eternal recurrence. She frantically flies from NY/LA/Chicago, never once using her money and free time to explore new places. Travelling the world would be wasted on her. She’d probably pack cases of Amy’s Chili and Blueprint Cleanse and never sample anything else.
YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT TILAPIA!
NYC lovers of the fish, I highly recommend KIOSK for tilapia and hookah
Seconded. I also love catfish, especially done up Creole style.
Holy shit this thread is hot! JP is back with catfish, rimjobs, and Oxford commas. 500 comments not out of the question. Let it ride! (I mean unfold…SS,SF$
This is a non-problem.
One of you get takeout, you have each other for dessert, end of story.
Get fancier than that if you want to, not if the thought of it makes you freak out and call for help. Maybe afterwards plan and fix a meal together and see how well that goes.
Am I the only one who won’t believe a word she’s saying about goat boy’s presence unless she posts a picture?
I’m craving it the way I crave something that I do not crave at all, but it would definitely make the nightmare bigger, better, and more believable.
I want to see if he is capable of looking truly happy with her in a picture instead of the gummy rictus with unsmiling eyes we’ve seen so far.
Comment Win!!!!!!
OT, but I feel like sharing, so bear with me or ignore.
I had a completely non-sexual dream last night which involved this blog and Julia’s Publicist. We were at a bar having a conversation about this site and America’s Next Top 2nd Date Blowjob Queen. I congratulated JP on the blog and told him I was so happy to find it. That was it.
Don’t AK Kitty me, but it was a nice break from the rambling anxiety dreams of walking through endless hallways and climbing slanted stairwells that usually grace me.
Non-sexual? What a waste of a dream.
Was I unnervingly handsome?
You were!! I could see your beauty beneath the cheeto crumbs. You thought I looked okay, too, despite the wine stains on my “spill shirt.”
one of the greatest amusements to me (and there are many) about all this is that in one of the very first catlady responses to the post yesterday about her “what shall I cook?! GAH PRESSURE IS ON!” tweet, s/he correctly guessed catfish. anyone else catch that?
Oh donkey. So stupid. So inexorably predictable. So ineffably transparent.
Donkey is so boring and unadventurous in life… not surprising she couldn’t think about what she’s seen her man eat, and enjoy, and then whip up a far superior version of it. I am sure she’s a snoozefest in bed.
She will always get by with as little effort as humanly possible.
Also, this may be repetitive but–they have been dating for four months and… pressure is on? What the fuck? I get that with a boyfriend flying in to your hometown you’d want to do something beyond breaking out the congealed jar of peanut butter and do something nice but– pressure? What, is he going to break up with you if you didn’t cook the perfect dinner? Give me a fucking break.
I recently made my OMGOMGBOYFRENNN a steak dinner (roasted potatoes, grilled asparagus, the works) to thank him for something. He noted that the steak was rather fatty. I noted that it was a fucking ribeye. That was fucking it. No one’s going to break up over dinner, you petty, stupid, stupid spoiled child.
Obviously the pressure was not on if she cooked the same lame ass meal she always cooks… and even cooked for Pancakes.
She just crowd sources for drama so it seems like she has something to do in her life.
It’s funny that the pressure’s on because I thought she “never felt so safe” and that he “loves [her] mess.”
Tossed Salad. Instead of goat soap
They should go to Olive Garden with the never-ending pasta bowl!
I haven’t even read this thread yet, but I have to throw down:
Tilapia is delicious!
(Catfish is nasty, however, so carry on.)
Tilapia works okay in fish tacos.
I LOVE fish tacos! They are, like, my favorite thing, ever, food-wise.
TMI.
Snort.
Your opinion is invalid.
How do you know? You didn’t even ask if s/he is married, size medium. Maybe you should adjust your monitor. #GOMIhumor #1yearsober
Yes, size medium, THANK YOU!1!
That remains to be seen JP. Is she married to a surgeon?
FYI, I am not married to a surgeon, but rather to an engineer. (But I have a professional job myself, so whatever.) I still love cheetoes and my two cats!!!
OH MY GOOD GREG!
I have been racking my brain for who Goat Soap looks like and today it hits me! Butt head from Beavis and Butthead.
Brayella, can you do a side by side? Use the pic from his Twitter (also on Google) – that’s where he looks the most Butthead-y. I SWEAR!
Catfish is delicious. Fuck y’all on that. Ima get some fried ass catfish and grits tomorrow morning in fact.
Damn right. Even grilled catfish is good, with some Tony Cacherie’s and maybe a little lemon.
I’ve had some good Asian dishes with catfish, too.
Donkey tweeting this menu like cooking it is a major fucking accomplishment makes me even curiouser about what the hell she usually eats.
Restaurants? No. Prepared/packaged food? Almost criminally toxic waste. Cooking? Obviously not.
What the hell does she subsist on? Eggs in the morning, Amy’s chili for lunch and dinner?
That is a good question, one I’m surprised she hasn’t already given us the answer to.
A year or so ago, she brayed about how she frequently orders Amy’s chili by the crate from Amazon. If she still eats like that, the flatulent Donkey jokes might be truer than is pleasant to contemplate.
Blaming it on Lilly will only work until she gasses the bed, and Lilly’s in another room…
Is this the first time in WASP history that catfish was served as a romantic meal?
Probably happened occasionally during the Great Depression, too.
Happens all the time down by the Gulf.
That’s an awfully flattering euphemism for the green clam dungeon.
PRESSURE’S ON
Aw, Dadsers and Goatsers, discussing quantum physics and how to properly prepare for firewalking. http://lockerz.com/s/235688994
captcha = old codger
Can you imagine her delusions of grandeur being at this wedding??? Upping the cray cray 24/7!
NO PRESSURE!
the only thing i can imagine peter baugher and this twerp goat soap discussing is what it’s like to be super-closeted.
i refuse to believe that peter baugher is open minded/nonjudgmental enough to really accept someone like goat soap as a legit part of his family. he’s gotta be massively disappointed that this is the best julia can do at this point
seriously, other than having a Raul, they have almost nothing in common except maybe the fact that they’re both physically diminuative
Anyone else notice how it’s always “my boyfriend” or “the boy” or something, when only a year and change ago it was “Jack” this and “Jack McCain” that, not to mention all the screenshots.
But…it’s weird. It’s never “Devin.” So strange.
his name is Devin? I thought it really was Goat Soap.
The resemblance is uncanny:
SOMEONE DO A SIDE BY SIDE!!!!!!
Especially the man face!
LOL, no, I think Goat Soap, and his oblong head and gummy smile, looks exactly like Butthead!
The BF loves his white suits!
The white shoes. Dear God.
Ha! My eyes went right to that. Good Greg.
All so John Travolta-esque….
Broke arse Goat Soap is broke and getting his money’s worth.
Also, interesting body language between Pete and him.
So gay.
Donkey’s boyfriend has the same weakling body as Dadsers (aka PETER BAUGHER). Sick, demented Donkey.
It’s like an end paren next to a semi-colon.
Whose wedding is this? Did I miss a whole discussion of this? I have actually left my basement and am staying in a country inn so quaint we only have Wi-Fi in the bathroom, so I am strung out and jonesing for my catpeeps.
I have no clue. A cousin? Can’t recall if/when she mentioned it.
So it was Momsers’ interior designer. I wonder if this was a grift. Design my house you can have a wedding on the lake. Hmmmm?
The thing that most shocks me is that an interior designer was involved in decorating that sterile, bland house.
this
bunnies, i’ve been busy the last few days, has it been discussed that KK (the NonBusiness “CEO”) has a Twitter account, for which she changed the displayed name to “Raul” ??
was this some kind of RBD shout out or solidarity statement?
I was at the wedding. The bride’s mother had been the interior decorator for Julia’s father. In turn, he was happy to let his house which fronts Lake Michigan, be used for the wedding and reception.
sit down next to us here and tell us more
Welcome to the basement. I like your hair.
On Wednesdays we wear pink!
So she flies her broke ass halfway across the country to attend the wedding of the daughter of her parents’ interior decorator?
That is odd. You know it’s totally because she wants Goat Soap to see how awesome their own wedding could be in the same locale. Poor, poor Goat Soap.
Also, bitching publicly about how her family is driving her mental while they’re in the midst of hosting a big white wedding at their house. Asshole.
Thank you! You are like manna from the heavens.
Is there a Donkey tracker on this page? (how many times a day she visits) I imagine she checks this page when she wakes up, reads some comments to her fee for service friends, goes on pretend date and reads more comments aloud to mortified date, and when heading of to bed reads the final posts as a bedtime story to the dog, the boy, or whoever else she can drug and drag to get in her bed.
We need one. Can’t we use her IP address and cause it to track specifically for her?
Is that a typo? How are catfish & sweet potatoes a dessert?
Yvonne, you must be new to the basement. Our Donks does not have grammar skills. Or cooking skills, for that matter.
see also that/which.