Parental Appoval: Julie’s Doing It Wrong

How is it that I’m 31 … and STILL terrified of parental disapproval?!?

You know what I do when I am plagued with a lifelong fear of parental disapproval? I sign up for a reality show in which I announce that I blew a dude on the second date.

Goat Soap gets unveiled to The Poor Baughers tomorrow. Quite the comedown, I imagine, from the days when their mentally ill daughter was able to convince a McCain to go out with her.

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325 Responses to Parental Appoval: Julie’s Doing It Wrong

  1. KashMoney says:

    her fear of “parental disapproval” is the closest thing she has to a conscience.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      Pssssst. IT IS A LIE. Like that night in the pool, and the fire exit, and her entire story about Pancakes on the first ep of Miss Advised.

      • KashMoney says:

        nah, I think she fears them pulling the financial plug for realz. so maybe it’s not the disapproval per se but the consequences.

        • CountMeInDaisy says:

          You’re probably right, and that made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Yeesh, CheesyDonks is 31 years old, I think it’s time to stand on her own two feet and stopped leeching off Mommy and Daddy.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            time to stand on her own two feet

            four hooves
            #FTFY

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            Thank you! I should’ve said that but I got a wee bit carried away in my ranting. Money sucking leeches hanging off Daddy’s testicles make me apoplectic in rage.

  2. Mooch says:

    What has she done that they actually approve of?

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Supposedly, they’re not appalled by her behavior and actions. You see that Easter Whore outfit in the wallpaper on the right — the sheer white frilly blouse with aqua miniskirt, and giant white hair bow? Not only did she attend Easter services at church with her parents while wearing that outfit (her, not them), but her mother posed for a photo with her — in church — that Dadsers snapped.

    • Pissholes in the Snow says:

      That’s what gets me. I know that I’m a people pleaser and I especially want my parents to approve of me because I have a lot of respect for them and I want to live in a way that honors and reflects that. But I’ve never really been “terrified” of their disapproval because I don’t act like an asshole and I have made a life for myself that I can be proud of. If I like and respect a guy enough to bring him home to my parents, I feel reasonably confident that they will like him too. I know that I’m in a pretty ideal situation, having this relationship with my family that includes largely shared values, etc., but… no adult should be terrified by their parents’ reactions. Either agree with their values and actually put in the work to try to live up to them, or disagree with their values and own the different path that you’ve taken (and, you know, put that money where your mouth is and support yourself).

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        NOT garnering the disapproval of parents & siblings can be a powerful guide when growing up (kind of like the entire village is all under one roof).

        D0nkey doesn’t seek approval. Nope.

        D0nkey’s simply vying to keep a line of financial credit open w/ the Bank of Baugher.

  3. Jelly Roll says:

    you know, if she wasn’t so hideous (couldn’t every sentence start this way…) she COULD have used the McCain connection to fail upward

    She could’ve met plenty of fabulously connected Hill-sers, who respect/fear, but don’t love the McCains. Then post break up spun a story about how they were unreasonable, and moved on to an equal size Capitol Fish.
    Moment missed JABA!
    (from previous, but it totally applies here! bet the parentals have had this thought too)

  4. Donkarena says:

    This may betray why she’s so troubled in the first place: extremely overbearing and controlling parents. Add to that the trauma suffered by the family when Robin was brutally attacked and raped — perhaps some PTSD that wasn’t handled with counseling and healthy tools in the family to recover from it and move confidently into the future. Perhaps they reacted with fear by overprotecting her from consequences, thus teaching her the real world/life is to be feared. I think it’s no coincidence that she has floundered in her young adulthood. Julia sounds terrified of an independent adulthood, because perhaps she was controlled by strong willed people, and saw her mother traumatized by outside forces — it’s no wonder she never learned to stand on her own.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Or maybe she’s just an asshole.

      • CDB says:

        [img]http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e105/CommentCrazyGirl/Smileys%20Sayings/Encouragement/winnersmiley.gif[/img]

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

        Sometimes the amateur psychoanalyzing is a bit over the top. Besides, trying to explain Donkey’s cuntitude as the product of anything that has happened to her in life is like explaining that a nuclear explosion was caused by a sneeze.

        • Donkarena says:

          just offering a thought that occurred to me when she says she’s scared of them at 31.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

            All love. It was insightful.

          • A-Game Content says:

            I think you could be onto something but that what you’re also saying is coming from the point of view of how YOU could understand feeling that way about your family. I’m going to go ahead and take a guess that you’re rational and sane, and that’s the big difference between you and a Donkey. Whereas you, rational and sane Donkarena, would learn that life is to be feared if you had been overprotected, A Donkey learns that the ENTIRE WORLD should protect her, and thus, she has no fear. It’s why she brays on Bravo and expects people to love her. It’s why she thinks she can trot out lie after lie and have no one question her. It’s why she thinks she can produce absolute drivel for all of the legit writing opportunities she’s gotten.

          • CDB says:

            Yes you are an insightful smart kitten. all love [img]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg196/D4mnedArchaine/gif-cat-girl-hand.gif[/img]

          • Donkarena says:

            Actually, I WAS fearful, but did it anyway. And when it was time to unravel the mistakes, fears and habits that were holding me back, I humbled myself and and got help. That’s where our paths diverged. That’s why I have no sympathy for her now — as would be evident in my previous posts here.

          • A-Game Content says:

            Donkarena! I totally wasn’t trying to insult – I just was trying to say that your take is totally valid and I could see it (coming from a pretty protective fam, myself). But Julie is a different kind of animal, a Donkey, to be clear, and A Donkey doesn’t have the capacity to learn the way that you have.

        • EyeRoller says:

          Overpsychoanalyzing her in a non-medically licensed fashion is one of my favorite past times, but so is also making the sweeping generalization of her being an asshole. Why can’t it be nature AND nurture? Can’t both be true?

      • Gimme Pig of Love says:

        +1

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        Seriously. Like Freud said, sometimes an asshole is just an asshole. I’m paraphrasing.

    • Tingolayo says:

      … which is an even better reason for seeking therapy from a trained professional. If you don’t cut the apron strings at age 31, when will you do it? If you’re financially tied to your parents, you’ll feel even more of a sense of duty to them. You can have a relationship with your parents where you don’t always feel like “the kid.”

      PS I started watching Miss Advised at the 2nd episode. I didn’t know about her mother. Jesus, that’s horrible.

      • Donkarena says:

        That’s the root of her problem now, I think: lack of introspection, learning from failures and getting help. She just goes to witches and mind architects who tell her she’s fine, which is exactly what she wants to hear. It’s definitely all on her now, no argument there.

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          I still believe the root of her problem is that she’s an asshole. A spoiled asshole with an unreasonable sense of entitlement, but still an asshole.

      • iblow4shoes says:

        Yes it is horrible. And JAB “was inside”!

        • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

          I want to know more about that smarty-cat gif. I’m very impressed with and now hypnotized by the intelligence of that cat!

  5. Jelly Roll says:

    This is slightly ot, but can I take a minute to look at this in a larger context?
    Almost everyone of this generation has been babied/hovered over/overly supported by their parents (watch the pilot of Girls – it’s dead on).

    It has literally crippled our entire generation. There is a full generation of parents saying things like “you know, no one ever helped me with my homework” and then staying up all night making their kid’s oversize model of a solar system

    The most credit I can possibly give her is to point out that her upbringing is not her fault/wasn’t her responsibility. But Julie: you are now 31. THIRTY ONE. It’s time to take responsibility for what you’re doing now.

    You could blame them at 16, hell even at 21. But 31?!? Time to put on your big girl pants.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      Your points are valid… about SOME people. Not everyone is the same. I work with people fresh out of college and they can be AWESOME. Smart, eager to learn, to try new things, hardworking, etc etc etc. For all the media hungry attention whores (LENA), there are hundreds of regular people building regular lives as well as they can who do NOT need to be painted with the same brush.

      And Girls hardly speaks for an entire generation. It might speak of the trials of being an upper middle class spoiled brat…

      • A-Game Content says:

        I agree – the Girls phenomenon is hardly limited to that generation. I’m in my early thirties, and I know a girl who is a couple years older than me and who has had her parents bankroll her life in a donkish manner. From self-focused, overwrought writing to grifting, shameless self-promotion, and preaching self-love and acceptance as a way to rationalize her own behavior and lack of meaningful contribution to the world, this navel-gazing behavior happens across many age brackets. My M-i-L is another example, and she’s nearly sixty. I know, I know, anecdotes aren’t data (thanks Cancer Dan!) and I’m not trying to hold two examples of narcissistic women I know as proof that the just-out-of-college kids are not entitled twats. I just am uneasy with the generalization that the ONLY entitled twats are the ones of that generation.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I totally agree.

        • Donkarena says:

          I know a 51 year old whose mother has coddled, bankrolled and raged at anybody in the real world who has dared heap any consequences for his behavior on him. She paid for all manner of education after high school, all of which he dropped out of without even trying. The result? He hasn’t held a job for 30 years, she gave him a huge house (trashed now) and $60,000 a year (which never seems to be enough). He is too terrified to go get a job now — and is too good for any menial job to work his way from the bottom. Can’t even hold a normal conversation. He’s completely emotionally and socially crippled because of his mother’s “help”.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

          Yes! There are entitled twats of every generation! The availibility heuristic is suggesting that there are moar of them now because entitled twats are often forgotten once they are no longer young and beautiful. See the direction you’re heading in, Donkey?

      • Donkarena says:

        Valid point — I’m sure those of us on this blog are made up of all types of backgrounds and we have an antenna for bullshit artists who aren’t pulling their own weight. I think that’s why it’s such a refuge for our frustration with her treasure chest of misbehavior: we know a slacker when we see one, especially when we’ve worked hard to overcome our own obstacles.

      • donkolnikov says:

        thank you for saying this. it gets really frustrating to hear about how my generation is entitled and lazy all the time when I’m working my ass off at two jobs and going to school on financial aid/scholarship.

        “Girls” and other shows are funny but don’t represent everyone in this generation – they’re a caricature. I grew up in a lower-income household and have parents who don’t have the money or inclination to shelter me from the real world. And there are plenty of upper-middle class families who raise great kids, just like there are ones that raise shitty (donk) ones.

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          you are welcome. I’m GenX (the cynical slackers) and am used to hearing people talk shit about my peers. Just let it roll off your back.

          After all, the baby boomers are the ones who fucked everything up in the first place AMIRITE???

      • This.

        The thing that annoys me most about GIRLS is how everyone kept going on about how it so perfectly portrayed the generation of people now in their 20s. Sorry, but while there are people who could fit right in with the GIRLS crew, the show doesn’t speak for all of us.

        The people of GIRLS remind me of the JA formerly in my life and people like her. I made it through about 10 minutes of the show before I started getting strong flashbacks of wading through NPD bullshit. Fuck GIRLS.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          The show gets really good after the first three episodes. I didn’t like it at first, and had the same reaction you did, but it gets very funny and very sweet, too.

          • I’ll take your word for it, but I don’t think I could go back and try watching it. I literally felt my blood pressure rising and it took a while for my fists to unball.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            That’s true – I discovered the show one day while I was home sick sick sick with the flu. I started watching it while I was laying in bed reading this site, and I swear it was the juxtaposition of JABA with Lena (not the flu) that made me wretch. But the show itself does become more endearing. And, yes, it IS just a caricature/stereotypes. But lets not forget, stereotypes are born from broader truths.

          • Norse Horse says:

            Agree, “Girls” takes some getting used t0 at first. The cringeworthy sex scenes are kind of uh, realistically awkward and unsexy. Like real life? But it’s a worthy show, there really are moments of humor and sweetness, and often rings a bell as to what it’s like to be young, making mistakes, like we all do then. And Ms. Dunham is a talented voice, I think.

            I understand the criticism of the show, and Millenials in general, that they’re spoiled and unrealistic. Which is a pretty big generalization, but that’s the idea going around.

            But as an expired Gen Xer at 43, may I say I find the Youngs These Days to have many, many fine and admirable qualities? I think many of them I have met and known, Gen Y-ers hitting their 30′s too, are actually pretty cool people.

            I find they’re more tolerant, accepting of difference of all kinds, far less likely to be bigoted against others because of race, sexualitity, ethnicity, religion or even gender identity. Individualism is a prized trait, not something to be frowned upon at all. I think they’re way smarter than a lot of us were back then; the Internet that to them has always been there allowed them to look up their interests and learn, the entire world of information and culture at their fingertips. Or say, the world of music- young people don’t actually care as much for the pop charts, they fing and follow what they like, overlapping eras. They tend to appreciate books and reading as cool things. They’ve been in contact with people all over the world on the Internet, they’re the furthest thing from provincial. They’re closer to their families, their parents, especially when the move home after their expensive college debt kicks in. This used to be a shameful thing, but it’s been de-stigmatized because it’s so common now. And that’s not so bad.

            I realize I’m generalizing too- you can’t really talk about “generations” as a whole. But for young people today, let’s face it, the economy is rotten and terrible, five to ten applicants for every job, no matter how motivated you are, they’re competing against people with perhaps more experience for every slot. It’s not their fault that there’s no place, no point of entry for them into the working world. And I can’t hold it against them that they were encouraged to have big dreams. I understand people have a problem with extended dependence on family by young folks- but it’s either that or starving. In tough times, having that support to survive is important, and it’s not fair to blame young people for not taking jobs that don’t exist, when even the lowliest internships and even barista gigs are competed for. It’s not easy for them, like it wasn’t for me when I graduated with my fine arts degree into a recession and art-world crash in 1990. You muddle through somehow.

            I can’t knock the Youngs these days- most of them are not Donkey-sorts, at all. And like I said, despite the idea that they are a spoiled generation, maybe they’re just young adults figuring it out in a tough economic environment. And don’t think they aren’t learning from it, in an ongoing way. The kids are all right. And I have optimism for all of us, it will be all right.

          • Norse Horse says:

            Wow, that was long. SS;SF.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      I can say I’m one of the few from my generation who was not babied. My father gave me the “wtf” look a lot, and said to me “Uh, you’re self propelled, and self motivated. You know the material, this is YOUR homework, YOUR learning experience. Go do it, and don’t let me see your face again until you’re carrying out the project. If I do this for you, you won’t learn anything, and it’s not gonna kill you to do some independent study. Independent. That means on your OWN, no help.” Looking at Ol’ CheesyDonks…I’ve never, EVER been more thankful for that.

      • Donkarena says:

        Same here. Parents didn’t ever hover over my schoolwork. Had very little money, overbearing mother, quiet father. Applied on my own to college, moved myself there, finished and got a job, got my own place, lived there by myself. Have no sympathy for slackers who have had the opportunities Donkey has.

        • CountMeInDaisy says:

          I just…I have this thing against people who always go running to Mommy and Daddy when something is wrong. Dear Greg, you’re how old? I haven’t ran to my parents in…well, ever, actually. I’ve always been of the opinion “well, I got myself into this mess, I’ll get myself out. It’s not their place to bail me out of my screw ups.”

          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            I’m not going to lie, I totally go running to mommy and daddy when something bad happens (well, at least I call them since I live out of state.) I’m extremely close to my parents.

            On the other hand, I also did my own homework, got into my own damned college, graduated, found a respectable job, and support myself financially. Oh yeah, I can also cook.

            (I am totally contemptuous of her inability to cook. I taught myself out of a cookbook. If you can read, you can cook.

            Oh wait.)

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            Yeah, but there’s a difference between calling them for advice, and then expecting them to swoop in and bail you out. I know so many people my age and older who do that very thing and it infuriates me. It makes me wonder what they’re going to do when their parents inevitably pass on, and they’re left to their own devices.

          • Don Quixote says:

            Ha exactly! Whenever I make a mistake or something is wrong the LAST PEOPLE I want to run to are my parents.

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            Yeah, really! I feel like my poor father got enough gray hair from me while I was under 18, and asking to get pierced and tattooed, and dye my hair blue, and hanging out with boys who had more metal in their faces than in their pockets. The least I can do for him is handle my own screw ups.

      • Are there that few of us? My parents were loving and attentive, but they made my sister and I do housework, do our own homework, walk ourselves home after school, and depend on ourselves to make our own fun. We were disciplined when we misbehaved and were not coddled from the outside world.

        I’m so thankful, too, because I look at some of the kids (kids is intentional) in my generation and younger and it really amazes me that these people are still alive. They are so clueless. A little brother of a friend has been coddled his entire life. He’s 19 now and still acts like an overgrown 3 year old. I asked him to clean after himself and he threw the biggest hissy fit I’ve ever seen. I was embarrassed for him.

        I know that there are plenty of people around my age who weren’t handed everything in life, who have had to work hard and make sacrifices. I wonder why my Gen gets such a bad reputation, but maybe it’s like someone said upthread: There have always been spoiled brats, social media and the proliferation of technology is only making it more apparent.

    • Jelly Roll says:

      Lots of people in this generation do have great parents who forced them to grow up, plenty didn’t have the financial resources to just give and give and give and give, and it’s also true that there are people from other generations that who’s parents are exactly like the Baughers & ended up with kids similar to miss despised – all absolutely true.

      But, this generation (I’m thinking late twenties/early 30s here), is more entitled/enabled across the board. It just hits me every time I hear a set of parents say something like “when I left for college I packed 3 shirts in a trash bag, said goodbye to my parents in the driveway, and that was it” as they’re loading their daughters chaise lounge into the campus adjacent apartment they’re paying for.

      But, my point, is that regardless of all of that – 31 is too old to be using it as an excuse.

      • CountMeInDaisy says:

        You’re unfortunately right, and it makes my black little heart hurt. I wish everyone had to grow up being self sufficient, and independent, I think we’d all be a lot better off.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      Is putting on a big girl tutu good enough?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Almost everyone of this generation has been babied/hovered over/overly supported by their parents

      For values of “almost everyone” that are exclusive to people with financially, socially, and mentally stable parents. I know plenty of 31-year-old people who were getting themselves ready for school in the morning because their parent(s) was or were still passed out drunk. Or working a double shift at a minimum-wage job.

      • Jelly Roll says:

        So the consensus seems to be that this generation is actually in great shape. The majority is made up of mature, hard working, independent adults whose parents by and large ignored Dr. Spock, and instilled their kids with a “by your own bootstraps” mentality. “never mind”

        • Psychotic Today says:

          Please stop making generalizations about my generation. Are some people like the characters on “Girls’? Yes. But, a lot, aren’t. I grew up in a VERY wealthy area. My family is not wealthy and I have had to have jobs since I was 14. That being said I have friends whose parents are unreasonably wealthy and every summer they were forced to get jobs and learn some sort of money management. All of the “cool” kids were expected to be in honors classes and participate in a thousand activities all to look attractive to competitive colleges. Parents were NOT doing your HW even if they were fighting with your teachers. I’m sorry you have met some entitled people in my age bracket. But, honestly, it’s insulting to view us all that way. The majority of the people I graduated with are all fighting their way through corporate America hoping for the best. Julia is awful but we aren’t all her.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Oh dear Greg, it’s my generation too! And I refer to my last statement. It is not a generation full of mature adults. This is the generation who decided to put their entire lives online (and I was going to say “while living on their parent’s couch”, but I don’t want to delve into “it’s the economy!” territory).

            I agree – not this does not apply to every single person of this age group. But it there’s one thing I’d bet my life on: It’s that all those kids you’re referring to? Their parents absolutely did those school projects. 100% of them.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Greg, so many typos – sorry about that.

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            OKAY! Here’s a novel concept, let’s all agree to disagree. Some kids from our generation were spoiled, some weren’t. It wasn’t a crack at anyone other than parents who don’t know when to stop helping. There, problem solved, now let’s stop fighting, yeah?

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            As I said elsewhere, I think we just see more of it with this generation because they put it online, which is something that most of us olds don’t do — and certainly didn’t do when we were young.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          What the fuck?

          No, the consensus is that judging millions of people by your experience in person and in the media of pampered wealthy suburbanites is ridiculous.

          Dr. Spock isn’t even in it; he was long out of fashion by the time Julie’s parents had her. Also, Dr. Spock’s advice is pretty sound.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2176281/Generation-refuse-grow-No-mortgage-No-marriage-No-children-No-career-plan-Like-30-somethings-Marianne-Power-admits-shes-.html

            not earth shattering, but a generally interesting read

            Just don’t think I’m wrong on this one, but I’m certainly not trying to insult anyone’s specific experience.

          • Emily Gould’s Trusty Google Alert says:

            Jelly Roll I agree… Every article about millennials lacking work habits or life skills seems to be answered by a million comments about how ‘they’re not all like that’ or ‘I had two jobs in college blah blah blah.’ I know there are exceptions (like growing up in a poor or troubled family, like Albie said) but in my experience a lot of the stereotypes are true. I am also a millennial, btw.

            I also don’t think the ‘special snowflake’ stereotype is exactly being disproven by all the articles and comments where young people go on about their own experiences with money, jobs, etc, regardless of how many others have said the same thing. I see a lot of posts on fairly popular blogs (the Hairpin, the Billfold http://thebillfold.com/2012/08/places-ive-lived-have-fun-googling-bird-mites/) where the writer assumes everyone is interested in their life and their cutesy quirks and so on.

          • Emily Gould’s Trusty Google Alert says:

            “My parents believe in air conditioning, but only for the ground floor”

            No one cares, is my point.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            The plurality of people are poor, so how can growing up poor be an “exception”? Rich and middle-class people should not define a generation.

          • Emily Gould’s Trusty Google Alert says:

            True but unless you are Howard Zinn, most people do.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

            Generalizations made about huge, heterogenous groups of people whose only common factor is being born in the same decade or two are bound to be either boring (eg most of them have two arms) or wrongggg.

    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      Eh, I’m well past my expiration date and parental approval still matters to me. It’s just built in, and I think it’s an expression of respect. Lord knows pretty much everything I’ve done has been met with frustration and disapproval from my folks but they are unconditional loving folk. I’ve been a pain in the ass and so have they.
      But I would never do is publicly shame them on a low rent/low concept reality show. And certainly not announce to my million paid for “fans” that I need their approval just because I’ve snatched up some revenge curd in response to bringing my madness to audiences on basic cable and flailing out. Because I respect my parents. and sometimes myself.
      Jesus I Kant even follow this inane storyline with this random motel/coffee shop guy with the crystalline features. Julia is really an expert at pulling dumb shit and she should make an effort to make it more entertaining. she should just own that and not throw around the Atlantic
      Monthly and Ivy League bull crap. no one is buying her elite persona and she’s lied down with dogs for all the world to see. Sorry such a bad couple of weeks…

    • This would be the generation that has fought two wars initiated by the baby boomers? I guess in that sense, millennials have been literally crippled by the mistakes of their parents’ generation.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Time to put on your big girl pants.

      Uh oh! Here come the Body Snark Police!

  6. CountMeInDaisy says:

    Dear Ol’ CheesyDonk,

    You are not terrified of their disapproval, honey. I’ll tell you what it is you’re really scared of. Come closer. Closer. Leeeeettle bit closer. There. Now, bend down here. Are you ready? YOU ARE THE POSTER CHILD OF CO-DEPENDENCY, YOU MAN FACED TWERP! DROP THE CHECKLIST, DROP THE ACT, AND SEEK. HELP. NAO.

  7. GimmeaWackjob says:

    Open letter to Donk: You want to escape your parents’ disapproval? Then fly into Chicago on your own dime, rent a hotel room with or without your boyfriend, rent a car and go to the wedding separately and then maybe have a nice dinner with your parents and then fly home.

    Either you run your own life or you don’t. As long as you are dependent on your parents for money/approval/emotional support they will treat you like a kid because to parents you are ALWAYS a kid. Make your own life, be responsible for yourself and you can ignore whatever they think of you, and once you start acting like a responsible adult instead of a rebellious teenager run by hormones, you might see their opinions about you start to change.

    /the more you know

    • Donkarena says:

      Like button

    • Jelly Roll says:

      I really like the way you put this.

      It’s just so much easier not to. It’s SO much easier to just sit through a lecture and keep taking the money.

      That’s why I foresee her staying in this period of arrested development indefinitely. Excuse me, “inexorably”!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      This says it all.

    • Grammarian says:

      Terrified of not getting more money

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I agree w/ you more than 99.9%+ … but
      D0nkey needs to treat them to dinner at her own expense.
      No ifs, ands or buts about it.

      At a restaurant of their choosing.
      With NO mention of Celiac or Pescatarianism.
      And she needs to let them enjoy the meal w/out having to take her fauxto.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Wouldn’t that be a beautiful sight? One can dream I guess. Something tells me, however, that a tweet-free, photoless prime rib dinner @ Outback Steak House on Donkey’s dime as she LISTENS to her parents speak while gagging herself on a white bread dinner roll to keep herself from interrupting them constantly with a statement pertaining to HER, well, just ain’t gonna happen on this particular homecoming trip.

  8. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    All things being equal, Donkey’s parents should be repulsed by her latest “catch.” He is a con-man and a grifter. He worships at the altar of Tim Sykes and Tim Robbins. He is an embarrassment to intelligent, accomplished, sane people.

    But all things are not equal. The Baughers know full well what their lunatic daughter is about. And I am sure they are excited at any chance for her to find anyone who will stick by her despite her mental illness.

    • A-Game Content says:

      You know what… They deserve whatever happens. If Goat Soaps’s family is as sweet and God-fearing as some of our catladies’ research indicates, I’m much more sympathetic to the shit storm that’d ensue if Goat Soap take A Donkey home for a visit.

  9. CountMeInDaisy says:

    Little off topic here, but, who else thinks that pic makes her look like the imaginary friend from Drop Dead Fred?

    • Don Quixote says:

      Oh my god, so funny you said that. I totally forgot about that movie. It terrified me as a kid, and for like, 2 years (probably was only 2 months) after I saw it I would pat around my bed before I slept to make sure Fred wasn’t there.

      • CountMeInDaisy says:

        That sounds like me over Child’s Play. Don’t ask, for what little time I actually lived with my parents, they had questionable judgment about the entertainment they let me watch, and I feared dolls for years after that. Incidentally, her hair also reminds me of Chucky’s.

    • Jelly Roll says:

      I immediately thought of those old school troll dolls.

      • CountMeInDaisy says:

        I DIDN’T EVEN CONSIDER THAT! AND LOOKING AT IT NOW, IT IS SO CLEAR! Wonder if we’ll find a jewel in her belly button.

      • Don Quixote says:

        I didn’t care much for the regular trolls, but the TREASURE trolls with the jewels in their tummies were awesome.

        • CountMeInDaisy says:

          YES! I had a bunch of those! And beanie babies. My favorite old school toy, however, is the Furby, and THEY ARE BRINGING IT BACK! I have already laid down the law with my Furby-phobic fiance, we are getting a pink one, we are naming it Buttercup, and he is sharing custody with me. It’s a good exercise in patience. If he can handle a Furby for hours on end, he can handle a toddler easily.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Tamagochis. People back in the day actually “fed” little pod/stick/game things they kept in the front pocket of their backpacks. Get him one of those too ;)

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            I HAD ONE OF THOSE! I miss those. And I feel really old now. :-[

            Those he’d be okay with. I mentioned to him that I had two Furbies from way back in the day (the joys of having divorced parents, tell them both what you want, and you end up with two). He has never dealt with one and finds them creepy, he says. I’m very rarely evil to him, but I am at times. So when I saw the article on yahoo about them coming back, I decided “y’know, it’s time to test his Biblical level of patience, just a little bit”.

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            I made the mistake of telling him how to torture one though. And then promptly forbid him from doing it to ours. I told him there would be no affection whatsoever from me if I caught him holding our Buttercup upside down. I don’t think he took me too seriously at that point, considering I was laughing like a demon…

            *Totally did not take cues from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days*

          • Grammarian says:

            Tamagotchi, yes. Not so different from Facebook, Twitter and all the other meaningless things that demand attention constantly

          • Don Quixote says:

            Yes! I swear I got my furby to speak almost coherent English cause I played with him all the time. woOOOOOOOaah! (Wasn’t that was they used to say when you flipped them over?)

      • Albie Quirky says:

        This is brilliant and also terrifying because her body proportions are similar to them as well (enormonoggin, short legs).

      • That was my first thought. Trolls creeped me out so bad.

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      It reminds me of Syndrome from The Incredibles.

      [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c8/Syndrome.jpg/150px-Syndrome.jpg[/img]

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Was that guy in The Young Ones? (old british show on MTV in the 80′s)

  10. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    I’m thinking out loud here, expanding on a theory that came up in the last thread w/ regards to NGMB’$ twisted thought-process influencing D0nkey, so bear w/ me …

    The attack on Mom$er happened right before D0nkey’s birthday, so it would stand to reason that a Pretty Pink Princess Party didn’t happen that year. It’s no secret that NGMB’$ didn’t cotton to Mom$er — maybe NGMB’$ used it as a tool to poison D0nkey’s mind that D0nkey was denied her due because Mom$er was soaking up all of the attention — how dare she cancel a party, WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

    It could explain a few things:
    * Forever trying to create a perfect birthday party = BIRTHCRAY
    * Resents inconvenience of rape = CRY “RAPE” IF SCHEDULES INTERFERE
    * One missed event should dictate the remainder of one’s life = NEVER OUTGREW THE PROM EX-BEAU DAN DIDN’T SQUIRE D0NKEY TO

    So, maybe the agreed-upon “Ha Ha, our little scamp is such rascal!” family lore of a d0nkey riding her bike (beach cruiser!) in the rain to a bakery (cupcakes!) to pick up a birthday cake (pink!) that she ordered for herself (after NGMB’$ dialed for D0nkey to place an order & the bakery agreed to take an order from a child, as did University Club to reserve the joint for a child, because NGMB’$ ended each call w/ promises to pay from behind the scenes?) actually occurred a little differently, & a couple of years earlier.

    THOUGHTS?

    The picture below needs CuntBunnies attn, as in rain, streamers & a cake …
    [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/34j2n93.png[/img]
    (TinyPic is laughing at Goat Soap too? CAPTCHA = mustachioed)

    • A-Game Content says:

      There was a donk tweet that i uploaded to TinyPic and the captcha was “Black Gold.” Fitting for the cheesy skillet thread!

    • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

      Correction: The birthday party wasn’t at the University Club in Chicago, it was at their country club in the ‘burbs. Any bratty child of a cc member knows that if you have your parents’ member number, you can sign for anything. The employees don’t question it because then Mommy and Daddy want to know why Snowflake was denied her independence (meaning why they had to stop their card game/flirtation/parental neglect to sign for something). That’s life in the 3%. Great fun when you’re the kid in question, though.

      Also, I doubt even NGMB was callous enough to play the roll you suggest. If anything, I could see her objecting to the cancellation because it would draw attention to the matter. (A small but important distinction in the WASP mind.) Otherwise, your theory holds up. Donkey was denied her special PINK day, so the world must pay for it in draconian perpetuity.

    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      I haz question.

      Was the attack for real? I just remember like…a tweet maybe? And being really disgusted by it? And not sure if I believed it because it’s Donk and she’s a lying liar who lies for attention and also to prove a point?

      Sorry, I’m really paranoid about contributing to rape culture and everything, but I just can’t believe anything the Donk says.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        It was real. Someone (seems like it was Afghani) dug up an online archive of newspaper articles about it (Mom$er was bold in going public w/ her attack, I think w/ the intent to help de-stigmatize the way rape victims can & often are treated? I forget).

        • Gimme Pig of Love says:

          Thanks. Again, it’s just so hard to tell with the Donk; she’s the boy who cried wolf.

          But good for Mom, that’s really brave.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Basically echoing Brayella, yes, I found the same thing– Event was real (evidence is online) and all talk that reflects disgust from what I gather here was directly at Donk, due to her legendary exploitative “i was inside” tweet, never against her mother, who went public as a respectable act of attempting to help others from being victims of similar violent attacks.

        • Gimme Pig of Love says:

          Yeah, I only ever saw the tweet and was disgusted by it. Mom’s a brave woman for going public, I can’t even imagine, but the Donk is a horrible person for exploiting her trauma and tragedy.

  11. Don Quixote says:

    Did anyone see the movie Step-Brothers? Something tells me when she goes home, her family interaction probably plays out a lot like that. She’s just a big baby in a 31 yr old body.

    Also, if the way she is now is a direct result of her upbringing… why isn’t her a brother also a train-wreck? I’m somewhat new to the Donk, so I could be wrong, but it appears as if her brother is relatively sane. If she was an only child, I would definitely be more quick to point to her upbringing.

    BTW I’m 26 and I too am terrified of parental disapproval. I have 3 older sisters, and we all feel the same. But our fear is irrational because all of us are actually doing something good with our lives – it’s just sorta built in cause we had low self esteem inflicted in all of us.

    In my experience, the people who are excessively vain and narcissistic are actually the ones that hate themselves the most. But for Donk, I’m not convinced this is the case.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Also, if the way she is now is a direct result of her upbringing… why isn’t her a brother also a train-wreck?

      Her parents and at least one grandparent seem to be pretty cray on the sexism front, so I’m not sure they had the same upbringing.

      • Grammarian says:

        The mantrap grandma and mother are a generation later than typical for someone 31 now, but they were prevalent

        Doesn’t mean they can’t be overcome

        And those southern bitches still believe in that religion, they are just more clever about it and go to college and all and pretend to have careers while they are chasing their wallets

        I had no idea of any of the above until I went to college and met women who didn’t get that I **wasn’t** on the husband hunt

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Doesn’t mean they can’t be overcome

          Agree! She is just a terrible person and also lazy.

          Still might have been a lot easier growing up Britt in that house than growing up Julie.

        • CountMeInDaisy says:

          Thankfully, the part of the south I’m from, they don’t do that anymore. In fact, most mothers–and in my case, my grandmother–are looking at their daughters and saying “get an education, be self sufficient, and don’t make the mistakes that I made”. Wouldn’t be surprised if they still pushed that further down from me, though…

        • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

          I made a point of working hard and laughing at the girls who were only at university to snap up a meal ticket. I also laughed when I graduated with an Mrs. in addition to my BA as a direct result of my self-sufficiency.

          Donkey, we’ve said it a thousand times: If you want to be attractive to an amazing man (or woman), become an impressive woman.

          • Natasha says:

            Yawn. I think saying your marriage is a direct result of your degree is very Breezy Cool Girl of you. Plenty of women don’t come out of college with a ring; who cares?

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Yes.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Getting married in your early 20s seems like a nightmare to me, not a dream, but different strokes.

          • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

            Spot on Albie. Now that I’m waaay past that age, I’m very grateful to a couple of guys that walked away and ‘broke’ my heart. As in I would sincerely, and genuinely THANK them if I ran into them today.

          • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

            I love you cat ladies. If I had proofed my original comment, I would have seen that it was going to set you off. But I didn’t, and it’s true, so I guess I’ll just say that I’m glad we’ve all made choices that contributed to our current happiness. Franzia for everyone!

            (I actually married at 27 y-o in 2004. Is that really considered super young these days?)

          • Albie Quirky says:

            See, there’s my preconceptions at work; I assume most new college graduates are 21 or 22. Which does feel awfully young to get married, though I certainly know some couples who have great marriages that started when they were that age.

            27 seems different to me. For one thing, your brain has actually finished growing!

          • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

            Albie, you were a victim of my bad writing. I graduated when I was 23. My husband and I met in school and planned to marry, but we didn’t feel the need to dash right down the aisle. I agree that marrying right after graduation can be a recipe for disaster.

          • EyeRoller says:

            Someone said the same thing to me in true Forrest Gump fashion during one of very many skeezy periods in my life when they said, “EyeRoller, it’s not FINDING the right person, it’s BEING the right person.” Is it me or is Donk way more concerned with finding a good man than being a good woman, as if the better of a fish she catches, the better of a catch it makes her for the next OBO that comes along? She’s got it backwards, upside down, inverted…

            And yes, EyeRoller is my given name in case you were wondering.

  12. CountMeInDaisy says:

    Help, BaDonkaDonk, you must seek it, nao. Seek it hard. Seek it like you seek the cock on a second date, and Flapjack’s new number, and the wallet of a rich politician’s son.

  13. Albie Quirky says:

    I am still frightened of my parents’ disapproval, and they’ve been dead for 2 (Dad) and 36 (Mum) years.

    This is part of what makes me think that they weren’t terrific parents. Interesting people, lots of talents, not so much for parenting.

    • 24/7 donkey show says:

      I don’t think she’s actually terrified, though — just exaggerating for “comic” effect.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think she really is, because they’re the only lasting relationship in her life. Her brother clearly can’t stand her, she can’t keep friends, she can’t keep a partner; without her parents’ love, she has nobody she can rely on to love her.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          For D0nkey, who reads here nevery day:
          [img]http://www.rottenecards.com/ecards/Rottenecards_37464610_pj9zcrjknk.png[/img]

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

        I think she thinks her self-deprecation is cute and a statement like: “How is it that I’m 31 … and STILL terrified of parental disapproval?!?” is always followed by the trombone “wah-wahhhhh” and a smirk.

        “That’s our Julia!” (is what she thinks her parents reply)

        Her life plays out like an episode of Charles in Charge…and she thinks that’s good.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        I think I’d care about parental approval if I had a presidential speechwriter for a mother, even if I had a totally different career path. That kind of success would intimidate me. It’s funny because I think you’re right. She’s a “writer” herself, but she really doesn’t care. I’m sure she just gets resentful if they ever seem to disapprove because everything she does is right to her.

    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      My husband and his brother are also terrified of the disapproval of their parents, and in fact I’ve heard Mr. Handbag use those exact words. His parents are universally considered “perfect” people: hardworking, professionally successful in the extreme, dutiful, no vices, no debt, politically correct. None of that has anything to do with love, or being a good parent, and children — who all start out as little crookedy twigs — grow into bent branches for all kinds of reasons, but the fear of the withdrawal of the love of parents is the absolute worst.

      I keep coming back to Annie Lalala saying JA is frozen with shame. I understand she appears to be shameless (she is, in lots of ways) but I still think AL was right. There’s a kind of household where shame is a miasma, and there’s exactly zero reason to think the Pettifogger’s isn’t one of them.

      • LetItExplode says:

        ^^^^^^^^This.

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        This seems to be it. I remember feeling that way when I was about 18-ish and for a few years into my 20′s. If my parents felt about us as I know I feel about my own, parental love is something way deeper then whether or not your kid disappoints you. If this is her driving force, she’s perpetually stuck at 16.

      • Skirt Pull says:

        Yes. And she is so paralyzed by that fear that she thinks it’s easier to just sabotage herself than to wait for someone else to do it for her.

      • Greg says:

        I just want to say that really like your take on her, Handbag. I’ve been thinking about this comment off and on all afternoon, as well as something else you said recently that I thought was very thoughtful and considered. I’m of course blanking on that comment now, SS SF, but I will try to find it.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          You are very kind to say so, Greg.

          • Greg says:

            I just looked – it was the one about her being angry all the time. I think this is so true about her too.

            I realize that she can be an asshole AND frozen and angry (and I think this is the case), but if a person wants to do the work, it is possible to live your life and work for a living (or whatever) without clomping all over the US hurting people and lashing out and just being generally awful and fake and hateful. I was probably older than most people are when they realize that but I’m very conscious of it now.

            (Clearly these comments both resonated with me; while I don’t think I am NPD or BPD, I do fear that I share some unfortunate traits with her that I am uncomfortably aware of and try to understand and control – I am working on it.)

            SS, SF, feeling confessional, I guess.

    • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      IDK Albie… my moral compass also still seems to lean towards the ‘what-would-my-parents-think’, when it comes to many aspects of my life. I’ve got 3 kittens of my own, yet for some reason, I still defer to that parental *thing*. My dad is only half the man he used to be due to the damage of a stroke, but he doesn’t know it. And my mom worries so much about everyone, I find myself leaving out details of things that might add to her burdens. Still, as the years go on and I see my siblings and I taking on the role of protecting our one-time-protectors, my moral compass STILL goes to that place.
      Do you think it’s more out of respect and values I, (and you and probably others), have incorporated? I mean, I feel ‘fear’ when my kids do something in front of the grands that would have gotten me the belt as a kid, but I don’t feel it as a judgment. More a sense of right and wrong. Certainly not money motivation.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        This is a good point. I definitely think my parents were right and wise about a lot of things, so in some ways I’m proud to follow in their footsteps and I feel like that’s healthy and well done, us, all around.

        I am still afraid I’m a disappointment to my parents, though, even though they’re dead. And that is partly my cray and partly their suboptimal parenting skills.

      • bitchface says:

        <3 you

      • [REDACTED]'s mom says:

        DLM and Albie, for my part, I have a very keen sense of my parents being a part of who I am, for better or worse. And having three kids of my own has only strengthened that, as I see myself AND my parents in them.

        My dad has been gone for almost four years now, and I still “check” to see what he would think or do in a difficult situation. Even though he’s gone, I can “hear” his voice and I know what he would say. Then I may or may not follow suit. My mom, bless her, is still with us, and the older I get the more I see how much like her I am.

        This does not preclude me being very different from them in many ways. But I come from them, and wanting to align with them, (and therefore, myself) is only natural. It’s certainly not a question of fear of rejection, but rather acknowledging my connectedness to them. Thinking about it, I guess that may not be true for everyone, so now I feel lucky.

        Sorry if I sounded double-talkey. That was a hard one to express.

        • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          Completely makes sense. I think what happens as we get older is we realize our parents are only human, and filled with flaws – because of that being human and all. It’s quite the epiphany when it sinks in that your parents really aren’t super-heroes and what they brought to the parenting table is what was brought to them. Being a parent yourself, I’m sure you’ve ‘done-the-things-your-parents-didn’t-and-you-wished-they-did’, only to have your own kids talk about the mistakes YOU’VE made as a parent. The trick is to realize that and come to terms with it, and figure out how their values fit, (or don’t fit), in your life. Among the many lessons I’ve learned (and I’m sure there are many more), to learn, is coming to terms with the human-ness of my parents. Realizing there is an end to their reign in the physical sense makes me think I’m going to be very lonely when they go. I’m not looking forward to it. Poor Julia, she just doesn’t seem to get her parents are humans who will love her beyond the grave. She still just wants to be a princess.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Yay! So nice to see you here. This is all the Big Stuff, isn’t it?

          I am loving hearing all you wise catpeeps’ perspective.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      My parents had a very hands-off approach to parenting and made pretty clear that if I got myself into trouble it was my problem. If I went them for advice/help/assistance they invariably responded “why are you asking me?” The upside was that whatever I did they had no problem with, so six of one half a dozen of the other, and I’m more inclined to be thankful that they weren’t fighting my battles for me.

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        RRR – I’ve never pondered your age before – so now I’m wondering if you’re of mine, Albie’s, and Handbag’s generation? (as well as the mystery of what’s between your legs)

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          No mystery there – born in 1979, me.

          So I, um, totally remember life before the 80s when everything was funky, yo.

  14. GimmeaWackjob says:

    My parents disapproved of me changing jobs a lot when I started my career, not knowing that this was how you could move up the ladder faster to a better and more lucrative position. It was a generational thing. They were of the generation that worked at the same place for 25 years and then retired with a pension. Their disapproval bothered me for a while and I went through that “I need to be perfect” phase, but then I GREW UP. HELLO! Earth to Donk: you are not the special snowflake you think you are. Get a freaking job, dial your famewhoring down and figure out who YOU are and stop thinking you think you need some guy to complete you and define your existence.

  15. Jelly Roll says:

    Let’s say she convinces goat soap to take the plunge with her. Think she’ll buy an enormous fake ring?

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      …That means there’s probably going to be children and then Greg help us all.

    • Jelly Roll says:

      …or think she’ll say the (smaller than she’d ever be ok with) ring is a family heirloom, and she’s so proud to honor her (/his/whatever) relative?

      Then we’ll see a picture of him actually buying the ring somewhere and she’ll say “that was for his friend!” or “just so we’d have a another one for when we travel” or “blerglieblerglieblergexcuselie” and act like no one can see right through her.

  16. SirClompsAlot says:

    I’m enjoying her argument with Verizon customer service on twitter right now. “I’m not an idiot”. Yeah, right, donks.

    • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

      Someone should butt in (a la Donk) and point out that the internet is filled with evidence to the contrary.

    • CaptainGary says:

      Wow, she is one nasty piece of work.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Of all the things she has said/done on Twitter, this is the one that almost pushed me over the edge to responding to her.

      Shut the fuck up Donkey. Just shut up. You are a nasty, vile bitch. Pick up the phone and call customer service if its so bad. But enough on Twitter.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Did she delete something?

      • Malformed Face says:

        Her inner rage beast be ragin’, yo!

        Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
        @VZWSupport – I’m not an idiot. I know how to conf – it’s that it was grayed out.
        View conversation
        Reply Retweet Favorite
        4h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
        @VZWSupport – I can’t get my emails approximately 60-70% of the time. Your data network is like a turtle it’s so slow. INFURIATING.
        View conversation
        Reply Retweet Favorite
        4h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
        @tweetcaroleen – the data is SHIT. I can’t get my emails or texts through 50% of the time. You can’t use phone and Internet at same time.
        View conversation
        Reply Retweet Favorite

      • CaptainGary says:

        I like how she’s Twitter bitching at the Verizon Wireless customer service team instead of, you know, spending time with her family that she OMG GETS ALONG SO WELL WITH.

        Oh, wait – it occurs to me that she’s probably holed up doing this in order to avoid the disapproving looks from family and neighbors. Hey Donks – GO OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING.

        Jeebus – I may have a gregdamned coronary over here.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      SUCH a Professional Business Lady in Technology!

      • Jelly Roll says:

        I love how (unbeknownst tot them) verizon customer service was speaking to her the way she “pretend speaks” to most people. “Turtle slow is infuriating! How can we help?”

        I might as well have said “We must all try to overcome this together! Want to get a coffee (*cough* green juice) sometime?”

  17. CaptainGary says:

    I’m enjoying the super low-rent “press” she’s been doing post-”Miss Sadlives.” Like this one. Yikes.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      The syntax, punctuation in the headline? Wow. Just wow.

    • emma bourricot says:

      “I have to say, though, that by the end of telling me all about her terrible dating stories, she totally won. Like, I took off my crown, gave it a little polish, and handed it right on over to her. You know why? Because while I’ve been out with some gigantic losers, I’ve never, ever, ever had to clean all of my sheets and blankets and rugs and ancillary items in my bedroom because my drunken, Del Taco’s taco-filled, stark naked date was passed out, spread-eagle on my pink princess comforter.”

      Wonder who this was? And it’s unclear why Julia felt the need the clean her rugs (?) because her date had the audacity to pass out on top of her covers? Did he puke taco vomit all over the pink palace, maybe even the SHOWER?

      • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

        Unless he projectile sharted like the Bellagio fountains gone very, very wrong, this is a complete mystery. Otherwise why would you date someone whose presence in your home required you to give it a Silkwood scrubdown?

        • bitchface says:

          lol

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Otherwise why would you date someone whose presence in your home required you to give it a Silkwood scrubdown?

          Beggars can’t be choosers. You really think she has her pick of guys?

    • emma bourricot says:

      And no way this bitch watches The Golden Girls. She didn’t elaborate about why Blanche was her favorite, or why the show matters to her, only that Blanche was her fave for being “patently ridiculous.” “Wait, Rose is the spacey one, right?” She’s also at the perfect age that if she’d had real friends in college, she would know every episode by heart.

    • BLB says:

      I just fell down the rabbit hole that is that chick’s wedding blog. She is CRAZY. http://www.filing-jointly.com/2012/04/in-which-i-get-lazy-and-repost-entries.html

      • BLB says:

        Oh wait – that’s not her. My bad.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          It’s just one of her “favs” I guess? Holy FUCK that Bridezilla is a boil on the ass of humanity. If she were a “fav” of mine I would be eyeing the gas pipe longingly.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Somebody actually fell for the “if you talked to me you’d learn to like me” shit? Scary Sadshaw, Jr.!

  18. EyeRoller says:

    I also had a friend who was a writer like Donk in LA. Her parents even had all the similar surface traits as Donk’s (you could basically swap my friend and Donk’s parents and no one would be able to tell the difference on paper). This girl was very was attractive, wrote for the same magazines, dated celebrities “very seriously”, played a similar game w/social climbing, and while everyone is different she had so many surface “Donk” markers it’s scary. She was about Donk’s age when she basically had a nervous breakdown (from her entire lying lifestyle, I personally believe, for whatever that’s worth) which is finally the thing that forced her to start changing her behavior. One of the things that made it most difficult for her to hit anything that resembled a “bottom” was that her parent’s would always support her just enough to allow her to screw around and purse her personality disorders in Hollywood full-time, staying crazily afloat, never forcing her to mature or make her own way. After her breakdown, one of the hardest things she had to learn to do was refuse that money from her parents who kept offering it, because she realized she’d always basically be a “Donk” if she did.

    Not saying I believe all of this is true in Donk’s case. I just think of this particular friend a lot when I behold Donk’s messy life and wonder if similar things could be going on. As “Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant” said earlier, which I pretty much agree with– Maybe she’s just an asshole. Either way though, and unlike my friend, I’m not so sure she’ll change.

  19. Leased D-Class TaskRabbit Boyfriend (formerly Floppy) says:

    “Here’s a hint: she is no longer eighteen. She is no longer in high school. She is not going to the prom. It’s time to put away the toys of childhood.”

    http://stuartschneiderman.blogspot.com/2012/07/miss-advised-being-julia-allison.html

    SS, SF if this was posted elsewhere but a Miss Assvice post worth reading by a guy that looks like Dadsers.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Meh, he bugs me. He also thinks Lewish is 25 and thinks that women should always be younger than their male partners. The smug mansplaining does not turn my crank, even though he’s right about Julie.

    • BLB says:

      Really good!

    • fig says:

      That guys blog is an excellent example of how my enemie’s enemies are not necessary my friend. Yikes!

  20. Skirt Pull says:

    She’ll be engaged by Christmas. I put $1,000 on it.

    • GimmeaWackjob says:

      I disagree. I think he’ll find her too high maintenance well before then. Nor to mention I can’t see broke-ass Goat Soap donkeying up to a ring that meets her pink princess expectations.

    • Malformed Face says:

      I see her getting married at Burning Man. I’m not even kidding, I see her doing something completely psychotic like this.

      • Malformed Face says:

        Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
        I just stress ate peanut butter and dried cherries. Gross.
        Expand
        Reply Retweet Favorite

        WUT ABOUT THE HONEY?????

        She just seems in a free fall to me…

        • She’s a donkey girl / Loves her mama / She loves horses / And mules too / I’m a bad boy / Because I’m a total grifter / She’s a bad girl / Who loves griftin too

          AND I’M FREEEEE…. FREEEE FALLLINNNNN

        • Don Quixote says:

          I’ve heard of drunk eating, depressed eating, boredom eating, etc. but not stress eating. On the other hand, what in the hell does she have to be stressed about? Because her parents are “driving her crazy”?!? She’s stressed about introducing her fake douche of a bf to her parents?? Is she stressed over her imaginary jobs?? I don’t get it! This is stressing me out, I’m gonna go eat some dried cherries. And peanut butter.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Oh stress eating is totally a thing!

            Although, while I get that cherries and PB are gross together, there’s nothing inherently unhealthy about either of them. I think her “eating system” is so messed up she doesn’t know what normal eating is.

          • Cherries and PB actually sound pretty good, all you need is some bread to make it an actual meal.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Tsaritsa, why so mean to us gluten free types? I have almond butter on fruit all the time OH WAIT it’s faux-celiac Julie!

          • I actually laid up in bed last night scolding myself for not including GLUTEN FREE in that comment about bread.

            Gah!

            Eye sorry, Awl-bie.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      I feel like all Miss Advised did was make her less desirable to a wider audience of men while simultaneously making her need to get married RIGHT! NOW! even worse.

      • Don Quixote says:

        Watching it also made me feel A LOT better about myself.

        • CountMeInDaisy says:

          ^^^^ SO much of this. I have never felt more stable and together in my life, than after I watched her antics. Even at my worst during my dating experiences, I wasn’t THAT bad. If it wasn’t happening, it just wasn’t happening, and I didn’t push it. In retrospect, that’s what my fiance said made him fall for me. Because I didn’t push, I just let things happen.

          • Don Quixote says:

            Same. It was like the moment I came to terms with my independence and stopped searching for a boyfriend, one found me, and we’ve been together now for over 3 years.

            Not only did Julia boost my confidence, but Amy did too. The way she acted on her “dates” was ridiculous, though at least she wore her heart on her sleeve. Her insecurities came out loud and clear (god, her food issues! and that voice!), where as with donkey you have to be somewhat intelligent to grasp how fucked up she is.

            I really liked Emily, I thought she was adorable and was this joke of a show’s only redemption.

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            I love Amy, she’s genuine, and she admits “I’m not following on my advice, and I should have”. Emily reminds me a lot of how I used to be–and she was the reason I kept watching.

            I agree with you, I stopped looking, and it just fell into my lap. It’s when you’re not looking, when you’re not trying, that the right person comes along. I’m happy to hear that by the way! I’ve been with mine for two and a half, and I’ve never been happier. If there’s one thing I can thank CheesyDonks for, it’s giving my self esteem a boost and making me realize that I am indeed sane.

  21. bitchface says:

    So how many boys has she brought home/introduced to the family as “the one” now? can you imagine??

    • LetItExplode says:

      I’m setting the over/under at 12.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      I’d bet her high school boyfriend was even touted as “The One”

      • Jelly Roll says:

        From the back reading I’ve done, the actual “ones” have included: 1.an actual fiancé (have we EVER seen proof?) 2. the guy she cheated on him with/left him for/mooched off of to get to NYC 3. Redacted 4. Prom King 5. Pancakes

        but I know I’m leaving tons out… brain is fried, desk errands and all…

        • emma bourricot says:

          Did either of the Redacteds meet the Baughers? Well, we know Jake didn’t.

          • emma bourricot says:

            I bet Dadsers loved hard-drinking billionaire college BF James. We know his sister kicks ass.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I thought that [Redacted] broke up w/ D0nkey just prior to her taking him home for the holibrays to meet the parent$ … maybe the Motherlod will clarify.

  22. sausage curls/fingers says:

    I feel like she’s torn a lot between the wacky dysfunctional family storyline and the SO close knit storyline. And I think the reality is that she has a really shitty relationship with her mom. I really believe her mom is a lot more embarrassed by her and less willing to dole out the phrase and that she probably has some creepy Electra complex thing going on with her dad who coddles her.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      I recall someone having emailed her before and her responding saying that the close relationship with her mom as she portrayed it on her blergh was total BS. She used to trot out the fake closeness far more often (with text screenshots from “Mom!”/Momsers” as proof) and after some time it just ended entirely. I think she’s getting on doing similar with “little brother” Britt, but she’s too dumb to realize how sarcastic he was being with their last exchange about the show. She previously was all too happy to have a way to one-up him by constantly referring to him as “little” (that’s all she has on him at all… that he’s younger than her) but she was even happier to have earned his approval and far too elated by that to notice he wasn’t even giving it at all. Sad.org.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        I wonder if she’s going to be as open to using “Little Brother” as a trump card as she climbs up there in age.

    • EyeRoller says:

      There’s no way to know all hidden specifics of their family dynamics but it’s interesting to speculate, and regardless, without throwing out medical terms for a slew of mental illnesses, let’s just say I don’t put it over on a highly manipulative person to portray their family in radically different lights to different people, however best benefits him/her at any given moment aka she’s a liar.

  23. EyeRoller says:

    Damn it. Donk tricks me every.single.time and she did it again with the troll doll photo in this post! It usually takes me a red hot second to realize most of her pics are taken as she skydives feet up through a cloud over Hawaii and are simply “flipped” in post production so the normal human eye’s able to decipher the odd Dr. Bobby- induced gravity defying facial proportions. I guess we’ll never know with her. Maybe she’ll do her next photo shoot plunging from a plane over Kauai in a 7 Year Itch Marilyn dress. The world is her sewer grate after all, isn’t it? Anyhoo, props to whoever Donk managed to grift into photoshopping out her flapping cheeks in the rushing wind before she released this shot. Yep, that’s Donk for ya, constantly failing upwards. We’re just pessimistic dumb dumbs because everyone really knows in professional skydiving terms it’s called “succeeding downwards!”

    PS– This pic reminded me the only real writing she’ll be a part of is if she glues her ass to the eraser tip of a #2 pencil with this hairdo while someone else uses said pencil to write something decent.

  24. Jelly Roll says:

    For those who brought up the comparison of JABA and Leann Rimes – seems the two have the same attitude towards “letting it go”

    after a back and forth with a twitterer who called her out for cheating during her marriage, Rimes Julia Allison’d back with:
    “@LauraJames00 @kellilleslie excuse me? I have nothing to “prove” we are happy and my fans are wonderful and no one is perfect. All I need to speak to about me and my sins is the good lord. Remember you can’t break what’s already broken. I’m not anything like what you read about. It’s all lies and anything you’ve read about no matter who or where it comes from….well, let’s just say its a game for so many to hurt others. Time to move on, everyone else has.”

  25. Psychotic Today says:

    Catladies, OT. A few threads ago someone posted a link to the Bachelorette movie. What was it? I have scotch and cheetos to share as a thank you.

  26. EyeRoller says:

    If I close my eyes and imagine that tweet being sung in the key of “How Do I Live (Without You)”, I swear Leann could be one of the white nits from last week. Bitch’s cluebox is truly empty when it comes to shade throwin’.

    • EyeRoller says:

      oops, now i have the ‘reply’ capabilities of a nit myself. comment meant for ratchet above.

  27. Dr. Gary says:

    Yeah, right:

    [img]http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/9020/jatweet81512.jpg[/img]

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      Love how she focuses completely on “ex-bff” and not “wannabe”, which is really the insulting part. Good Ol’ CheesyDonks, you never cease to amaze me with your stupidity, and your selective reading.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Thanks, Julie, these pants weren’t going to piss themselves.

      Good Greg in heaven that’s unhinged.

    • EyeRoller says:

      I can’t even address the hilarioshitty-ness of that tweet exchange because I’m too distracted by thinking that the cute, girl next door with eyes depicted in her Twitter photo is not the Donk we know and see today. Who does she think she is keeping this unrecognizable photo up– Nearly every guy on every gay sex hookup site with a Tom Selleck Magnum PI circa 1985 profile pic that ends up at your rent-by-the-hour motel room door looking like he’s wearing a George Burns costume as his real face and body??? Speaking personally from a retired lifetime of past, disappointed online slut experience, I call DECEPTION!

      • CountMeInDaisy says:

        Well, I guess even she knows she’s had so much crap injected into her face that she now resembles a man. She should really try to get that fixed, if it’s possible, or else people will catch onto the fact that there’s an erection under that skirt.

        • EyeRoller says:

          Yeah sorry I don’t mean to distract from Dr. G pointing our these absurd twitter damage control attempts, nor do I intend to lowbrow mock her entirely for physical features, I just had a light bulb moment as to what must have been her initial “cute” appeal (years ago) which I easily forget.

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            You’re absolutely right though, that’s the thing. And it’s really sad.

          • EyeRoller says:

            It was really more of a “slight bulb moment” I had, but it was a moment nonetheless.

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            IIRC, those photos were done about 2 years ago by a photography student (who later went apeshit and insisted that we never mention her name on RBD again). Said photography student photoshopped the living daylights out of that series of photos, giving them the full Toddlers and Tiaras vaseline lens surreal-ly glowing glamor shot treatment, so it is safe to say that Julie has never actually looked like that. The Twitter photo is essentially a Franken-Doll image created in a lab.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            Especially in the midst of a fairly fug group of tech centered chicks. Put old her in the middle of Randi, Sklar, McCarthy, even Mary R. and she’s easily the standout (physically). Too bad she’s ruined herself. Your face is the one thing you can never “put back”.

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        Has Randi responded to any of her public attempts? Looks like she’s trying to get the approval of more than just mommy and daddy.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

          “Close friend” = chance to be on Silicon Valley = I need to be in California for my CAREER, mommy and daddy!

        • Malformed Face says:

          Randi ignores. Even when Julia tweeted 10 times about the grocery store irises Randi sent her for the Miss Advised premiere, Randi ignored.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I’m telling ya …
            They were “Get (MENTALLY) Well” flowers.

            Last Laugh: OMG! Randi!
            Last to Get a Joke: Donkey

      • Malformed Face says:

        She is really spinning out of control in Chicago.

    • Malformed Face says:

      “Still” is the tell. If nothing happened why not say, “Randi and I are close friends.”

      • EyeRoller says:

        It’s possible to read too much into something, but I like your idea of accidentally overcompensating with the “still” word. Naturally, even if she did give herself away in that tweet, she’d turn around and spew something like, “I meant we’re STILL friends after all these years which is totally amazing because we go so far back and she still loves me and it’s rare to have so many close, special amazing supportive important friends in their life!!!”

    • juliajane says:

      I’m in Melbourne and there was an article about Randi in The Age (newspaper) this morning. Thankfully, they did their research and it was delightfully snarky.

      • Malformed Face says:

        There doesn’t appear to be many opportunities Randi has turned down, whether it be Air New Zealand’s conference last month, a jewelry industry event in Arizona, or countless other engagements booked through firms like Saxton Speakers and CAA Speakers.
        The booking site Speakers.com lists Randi’s “keynote fee range” as “$$$$$”, which according to the site means “$40,001 or greater.”

        Julia Allison pay day for Kraft Cheesey Skillets – north of $150

        Randi Zuckerberg speaking engagements – north of $40k

        BURN THOSE BRIDGES DONKEY!!!!

        • Malformed Face says:

          Last month Randi, who is in a band called Feedbomb, performed parody song “Fund Me Maybe” at a charity event in San Francisco, which played off Carly Rae Jepsen’s ubiquitous hit “Call Me Maybe”. The lyrics go: “Hey – I just launched this. My idea’s crazy, but here’s my website – so fund me maybe.”

          Even though I want someone to carry me to the shower to vom, knowing Julia is so fucking jealous makes me squee a bit ;)

        • Malformed Face says:

          STUNNED SILENCE DROPS PHONE!!!!!

          (Why are all the cats in my neighborhood screaming?)

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jieeLqcoMoY

        • EyeRoller says:

          Speakers.com lists Donk’s rate @ “¢¢”, which means “two or less cents”.

  28. Word Count says:

    From an email interview with a blogger

    1. Who’s on your freebie list?

    You know how everyone has that “freebie” list of celebrities that you could meet, sleep with, and your partner couldn’t get mad? Well I asked Julia who was on hers. I mean, if I can get my parents to make that list, I can pretty much get anyone to.

    JA, laughing: This is great. Ok, ready? Andrew Garfield, Topher Grace, Jon Stewart, Tom Brady, and….um…..who else….Channing Tatum. Oooooh Channing Tatum.

    Me: Really?

    JA: I’m obsessed. Did you ever see him in that Step Up movie?

    Me: Wasn’t he just in that stripper movie?

    JA: Oh I never saw that!

    Me: I didn’t either, but you probably should if you like him! But you seemed to pick guys who have a bit of substance, too. Most of mine are basically guys that I just think are hot.

    JA: I mean, a beautiful guy is great to look at, but if they’re not intelligent and funny and clever I’d get bored pretty quickly, you know?

    Me: That’s true, but the way I see it is if I only have one night, I’m not wasting it by talking to them.

    Step Up was from 2006. It’s been 6 years.

    • Psychotic Today says:

      Yeah… Since then he has been in Step Up 2: The Streets, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, Dear John, some movie with fighting in it, The Vow and 21 Jump Street. I’m pretty sure there are others but that’s what I can think off of the top of my head. He is hot. I know he looks like he can’t read but I love him.

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        He does look like he can’t read!!! I think he and Justin Timberlake are good from the neck down.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Sorry Donkey I’m a little confused here.
      “If they’re not intelligent and funny and clever I’d get bored pretty quickly, you know?”
      Tom Brady? Channing Tatum? Andrew Garfield? It’s not their smarts that gets the attention. I’ll give you Jon Stewart and maybe Topher Grace but the bulk of your list is eye candy.
      And not one writer or tech guy among them.

  29. ceeza says:

    I read this recent quote from Joseph Gordon Levitt and it immediately made me think of Donkey and her checklist..

    On what he looks for in a woman: “Making checklists of things you’re looking for in a person is the numero uno thing you can do to guarantee you’ll be alone forever. You can’t meet someone and think, Do they have everything I want in a person? You just have to pay attention, keep your eyes open, listen to people and be present. I guess what I look for in a girl is someone who’s doing that too. Beyond that there’s not much more I would specify, because you never f**king know, man.”

  30. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    I am LMAO now. Upstream mention caused me to wonder if D0nkey has tweleted her infamous “I WAS INSIDE” tweet & so I googled … & found an archive of D0nkey’s 2008 tweets … &, completely OT, there’s this:

    @juliaallison
    I forced my blonde bombshell of a former roommate Krystal onto Twitter. She’s going to blow. this. shit. up. Follow her –> @KrystalK 1:43 PM Oct 5th 2008

    Now, just what do you expect to see if you followed that link?
    [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/wkiss1.png[/img]
    Did a catlady take over Krystal K’s twitter acc’t & add “Raul”, or is Krystal herself a catlady?

    Another goodie:
    @juliaallison
    from a reader email, just now: “go to bed or you’ll be a hag before you’re thirty. you know it’s true.” Um … thanks? 10:47 PM Oct 6th 2008

    Um … true?

  31. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    It’s the return of The Baugher Family Circus!

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison: Dad: Why would anyone want to wear tutus?! I don’t even understand why ballerinas want to wear them. Me: It’s the right to bear tulle, Dad.
    11:14 PM – 15 Aug 12

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Dad$er just vommed in the shower.

    • Malformed Face says:

      I can’t even feel bad for her parents at this point. You know she is running around Chicago putting together slutty costumes for Burning Man. This is the perfect chance to commit her or cut her off.

    • EyeRoller says:

      “It’s the right to be a tool, Dad.”

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Her parents must be so over her.

      • Don Quixote says:

        “My parents’ basement is out of an episode of “reasonable” hoarders or something. How can two people own so much unnecessary STUFF?”

        Maybe now that she just outed them as hoarders on twitter. Unnecessary stuff or unnecessary emotional baggage? There’s a name for that… it starts with a J and rhymes with foolia.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Jesus. She’s like a teenager throwing a tantrum. A grown ass woman talking shit about her parents on twitter? Such a fucking cunt.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            Maybe they’ve finally cut her off? Would explain her public hissy fits.

            Something is definitely up.

        • Scooby Don't says:

          I recommend they throw out her memories, too!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I’m straying a bit here, but does anyone remember Toolia’s self-made video when she was wrapping Xmas presents in her parent$ basement & when there was a voice at the top of the stairs, she gulped & abruptly cut off the video?

          So weird. Makes ya wonder: Does D0nkey hide out in the basement or is she sent there for time-outs?

          • Dr. Gary says:

            Yes. I remember that. It was weird.

            Isn’t the basement also where the 2nd fridge is? The one where she binged on the jar of fudge topping last time?

            Jesus, lady. Get some therapy. You are a hot mess.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Oh, you’re probably right about the fridge — I’d assumed it was in the garage (basements in TX are not the norm), but yeah, she’s just cranky about having ‘things’ between her & the vat of toxins, so of course her parent$ are ‘hoarders’.

            STFU, D0nkey … YOU’re the whore-derrrrr!

        • Malformed Face says:

          Says the Donkey that carted 21 tutus across the country.

          She is such a bitch. And yes, I agree something is up. I wonder (based on nothing) if Randi’s success is making her extra cray.

          It was a year ago that Donkey, Christine Kelly and Randi were plotting to take over the world (or so Julia said in her tweets) and now Randi is the Julia Julia will never be and Donkey is binge eating cherries and peanut butter and dating a barely employed computer guy and Miss Advised sputtered to an end.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            More than 20+ tutus AND an ancient PROMMM! dress.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            I think it has a lot to do with the show ending. She was so high on her own bullshit and all the fangirls tweeting at her every week.

            Now what has she got to do? Show off her new boyfriend to the parents. Buy costumes for Burning Man. Go back to pointless flying around the country.

            Also, anyone else notice there hasn’t been any interaction between her and Tiny Julia? Has she run off into the night already?

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        We all are sick of her and we aren’t related or haven’t had to financially support her, so-yep guessing the parents are disappointed in their HOcreation.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=tutu
      ballet skirt, 1910, from Fr. tutu, alteration of cucu, infantile reduplication of cul “bottom, backside.”
      The Ass likes clothing named after the ass. Figures.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        The OED has a nice quote: “1910 E. F. Spence Our Stage & its Critics ix. 196 She wished to exhibit what in technical slang is called le tutu, a term descriptive of the abbreviated costume and possessed also of a secondary meaning.”

    • EyeRoller says:

      Signing off tonight with a vision: Donk and Goat Soap giggling, opposite each other playing a mad game of footsie-splash in the Baugher’s tub full of pink Tinkerbell bubble bath pumped from a commemorative Little Mermaid Sebastian soap dispenser, Donk in her Alice in Wonderland shower cap and Goat Soap in one featuring all Seven Dwarfs, making sud-taches on each other’s faces as Donk tweets while Dad bangs on the bathroom door:

      Donkey@Donkey: Dad: Why do the men you bring home have to wear tutus around our house? Even our foreign exchange student-ballerina doesn’t do that. Me: It’s the right to be cuckoo fools, dad.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Interesting concept, getting nightmares out of the way BEFORE you close your eyes …

        Toodles!

  32. Dr. Gary says:

    If she’s spinning in Chicago, I bet she’s totally blown up the new boyfriend’s phone. Can you imagine all the insane phone calls, texts, emails over the last 2 days? I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

    • Malformed Face says:

      B M K ‏@bmkaplan
      @unsarah shes the worst. shes gotta be like 40, right?
      Expand
      Reply Retweet Favorite

      @unsarah @bmkaplan – I’m sorry you feel that I am “the worst,” Mr. BMK. Do we know each other? Did I do something to you to hurt you?
      Hide conversation
      Reply Retweet Favorite
      9:48 PM – 15 Aug 12 via web · Details

      OFF. HER. NUTTER.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Do we know each other?

        Said the asshat who wants everyone to wear name tags, because for her, the only name worth remembering is the one she has on a plug-in sign & monograms on tennies & canvas bags & pillows.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        ‘Do we know each other?’

        As if she wasn’t just on a tv show that made her look like a total lunatic.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          But the show was so long ago! Before she became the normal, emotionally healthy Julia she is today!

          Shit, this is getting sad, isn’t it?

  33. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Julia Allison My thumbs started hurting & my friend Bear recommended I download @Hallo so I can send my texts via voice! Now if @Verizon will just work.
    [img]http://www.animationmagazine.net/images/articles/donkey_phone_150.gif[/img]

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      But that…wow, that defeats the purpose of texting. It’s called a stylus, BaDonkaDonk. Use it.

  34. Malformed Face says:

    Donkey still tweeting until 3:30am… LOL… such a nut.

    Also…

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @dspector – I’m a tiny bit worried about that; my camp is 65% virgins. Should be…interesting. Plus, it’s meant to be VERY dusty this year.
    View conversation
    Reply Retweet Favorite

    Such a hose beast… she was the ultimate poser virgin last year. WUT the fuck is she talking about?

  35. CountMeInDaisy says:

    Still tweeting at 5:52 am.

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    LEGWARMERS MADE OF TUTUS!!! Ahh!! Life complete! (Can you tell I’m doing my Burning Man shopping tonight?)

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Slutty elephant costume. I have now seen everything

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    I’ve turned into one of those people who REALLY appreciate it when products are made in the USA. Nationalism starts at age 31, apparently.

    There are no words for how horrified I am by that last one. I have this sinking feeling she only says that because it’s an election year, it’s trendy, and she wants to look politically relevant. Just. Frickin’. Shoot me.

  36. ShesJustStupid says:

    Just here to point out that she sent her latest tweet an hour ago. 5:45am Chicago time. Nice that she’s resting up for goat Soap’s arrival.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      I’m beginning to wonder if she’s actually ON something. Does she ever sleep?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      All this chick does is Tweet. That is her full-time job. She either Tweets what she believes are her own profound observations about life, or she responds to other people’s Tweets and tries to get them to like her. She is a Twitter addict, on top of all her other pathologies.

      • CountMeInDaisy says:

        She’s been up for nearly 24 hours, and she’s still coherent. Something is rotten in Denmark.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          We have heard for years that she’s into Adderall, and I am almost certain that she has to be on something. She routinely pulls all-nighters and exhibits manic online behavior throughout the all-nighters.

          • CountMeInDaisy says:

            I was going to suggest something else, something more illicit, something illegal, but she’s not skinny enough for that.

      • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

        She should get a job as a community manager. She could work from home (or wherever is city of the week) and tweet for a living. She’s not qualified or socially skilled enough to do it for a major brand, but she’d be perfect to do it for a handful of small businesses who just need someone to go all manic and tweet the hell out of a bunch of nobodies.

  37. A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

    OT: In the meantime, back at the farm….

    …Anderson Cooper is back on the market!!!!

    http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/08/anderson-cooper-dumps-his-boyfriend-and-calls-off-engagement/

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      I want to go shopping with him, Carson Kressley, and Austin Scarlett. Just to see the kind of arguments they’d have when they disagreed over things.

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