Here’s a Tough One To Figure Out

It just occurred to me that there are people in this world who I have had SEX with who refuse to friend me on Facebook. That’s just wrong.

So healthy, fixating over exes and why they refuse to acknowledge her existence. She must be so in love right now; obsessing over your exes is a sure sign of a healthy, emotionally adjusted woman in the throes of the greatest love she’s ever known — again.

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382 Responses to Here’s a Tough One To Figure Out

  1. Fake Kidney Infucktion says:

    I like how “sex” is in RAGE CAPS.
    “I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him!”

    • Idiotbox says:

      Let this be a lesson for all the donkey sexers: you slept with her so you owe her. Those are her memories too, so she’s entitled to be a part of your future. A moment with her vibrator forever on your friend list.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      ha-half a virgin

  2. Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    WTF? Doesn’t she have a new lover-boy? I think I have exactly one-person-I-had-sex-with in my past as a fb friend.
    It’s never a good thing when you’re braggin’ on the secks and the other person denies, denies, denies…

    • LetItExplode says:

      I’d never thought about it before but I’m facebook friends with two people I’ve had sex with. High school boyfriend and a guy I had a hot fling with in my early twenties.

      But then again, I’m pretty much the opposite of Julia. I know myself well enough to spend zero time googling/facebook stalking exes because no good ever comes of it. Even when they’re down and out I still wind up feeling like shit.

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        Exactly. The one I’m friends with is from high-school and we were friends before and after our tiny fling a gazillion years ago. There are others I really prefer to just live in my memory as they were at the time I knew them.

        • LetItExplode says:

          Remaining facebook friends with someone who broke your heart is a form of self-mutilation, in my opinion. Even if you “left the door open” as Julia likes to say, how would it help your future with that person to know who they’re boning right now? In my experience the only couples who get back together and make it work have an absolute and total break in between. They aren’t friends, rooting each other through the break-up and encouraging them to go out and sow their oats. Fuck no. There is no room to heal.

          So the only reason Julia would still be friends with Jack is to stalk him. Which only brings her more angst. Why doesn’t she realize this. Does she ever log off from Facebook feeling good?

  3. braying manatee says:

    This is so insane. Seriously, it’s one thing for that to be the case – a sure sign of her instability, but something that does happen when relationships go sour. It’s another thing entirely to announce such a fact to the Internet. Julia, you cray. Take this as a sign and get some help.

  4. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    Is it possible she’s so fucking stupid that she’s JUST catching on to the fact that lots of people who have encountered her in real life actively hate her guts and find her unhinged, with deep fear of ever being associated with her in ANY way?

    More evidence for the developmental disability theory, here.

  5. JFA says:

    She’s such a freak. I have no desire to be friends w the vast majority of men I’ve had sex with. Because like most normal people I move the fuck on. It’s just Facebook my god. She’s 12 years old.

    Also, in the “take a hint” files. She is trying so hard to be a funny edgy yet relatable Internet figure, spurred on by 100 idiots who thought her show was good so clearly have no taste or intelligence. Every time she makes a comment like this it is a resounding dud, because she is neither amusing nor profound. She’s just sad, dull and crazy. Dull and crazy is really hard to pull off too but she does it magnificently.

    • JFA says:

      I’m friends w exactly three such ppl on fb. And the list is not a short list because I’m old and have enjoyed myself in life w men. Many of them have tried to friend me but I shut it down. Therein lies the difference between me, a fucking adult with interests beyond Facebook posturing and wanting the world and everyone in it to think I am a pretty pretty princess, and this lunatic. The amount of time she spends on fb, or thinking about fb is cray. Leave the house! Read a book! Get a fucking hobby!

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        Plus? Once you cross the facebook-friend-line with an ex-lerver so many things are ruined. What could be ruined you ask? Well, the memory you have of the rock-hard abs, smooth-skin, full-lips, and steamy, summer evening is ANNIHILATED with the cold, hard truth of 20-years-gone in a click of the ‘pictures’ tab. So little is left to wonder anymore. I also prefer to remain a ghostly, good memory in the sands of time of some of my exes. (Time has not been my friend either, so…)

        • bitchface says:

          exactly…I am kind of sad for the young ‘ungs who’ll never do a trip across some other continent and have great memories that last forever wondering and knowing there “out there somewhere” but never knowing their lifea nd what became of it. Most of the time the “knowing” is a let down. Better keep them preserved, as you knew them then.

          • Pelterina says:

            True but there’s also the fact that you can make good, close friends. I spent a month in Europe studying a few years ago and keep in touch with at least four of them to the point that I’m travelling to see one in a few weeks and the others have come to visit me.

            But then again, I’m also not Donkey and I don’t friend guys I’ve been with on Facebook. In fact, I don’t even save their phone numbers after it ends. Why give myself any excuses for drunk texts?

          • bitchface says:

            friends, yes; lovers, notsomuch

            flings with a hot italian named something I don’t recall on the Spanish steps?
            traipsing around France with a blue eyed, dark haired Irish singer?
            flurry of drunken fumbling with a long haired German hippie?

            ah yes, memories….

        • JFA says:

          Exactly.

  6. Lady Donk Donk says:

    This is a neurotic, entitled and incomprehensible thing to say. As if people want to “keep in touch” – hahaha!!! She needs help. Her world view is an augmented, enabled extended childhood- I can’t even use the word extended adolescence.

  7. LEFOOLIEH says:

    What in GREG’S name is this? In such a happy, fulfilled relationship – “I love him!!!” – that she’s bringing up rejection by people she previously had sex with? Yeah, sounds about right/normal. There has to be trouble in paid-for paradise for sure, as her latest tweets and fb behaviors have been bat to the shit. Also, Julie, take the damn hint – you’re the crazy chick who was a hit and quit, simple as that. They are clearly NOT INTERESTED in actually being friends with you beyond that night or handful of times. They probably got the inkling of bunny boilerism and WISELY went screaming into the dark night, and they’re especially not going back there after you put your crazy on a wider stage. Nobody needs that shit.

    • virgil reid says:

      i feel like she’s gotten more crazy since she started dating goat soap, as if that was possible some way…

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        Theorizing… she’s in a tailspin because she has no choice but to spin this into ~*the greatest love of all*~ (thanks, Bravo!) when he – despite her claims to the contrary – doesn’t even meet half of her insane checklist. It’s hard enough for her to spin that as being truth when the proof of it being anything but is EVERYWHERE, from his (original, non-donkey-edited) reading list to his general random musings on the interwebs. She will be forced to continue recognizing this with every passing day and will therefore continue sabotaging the relationship accordingly until his programming career gets in the way of her own “career”, but he leaves the door open and they continue to be in each others’ lives as people in perpetuity.

        • K_Swizz says:

          Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          My greg. I haven’t been following closely enough to have caught that she had Goat Soap edit his reading list. Is that for real?

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            From last thread (that I’m not even halfway through yet) apparently there was a Halo book heavy reading list; now there’s apparently a new, separate list for the guy that’s full of donkey’s favorite self-help authors. “Well-read”, indeed. All signs point to SHAM.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

            I’d like to second Albie in pointing out that the list of videogame novelizations was lowbrow, but still more interesting than the Julie-approved list of idiotic self-help books.

        • My theory is that she was so ready to rub our faces in her hot new man, but when we cut him down to his actual size and started picking apart their “relationship” (and if we’re doing it here, you know the people in her life are thinking the same thing), she realized that she needs to try harder to fool everyone, but this is the best she can come up with because she’s not really smart.

          Instead of trying to do something with her business and be entrepreneurial for once (something she complains about wishing she had done more of in her life), she got a “boyfriend.” And no one was amused or impressed. And she’s back pedaling now, again.

  8. Scooby Don't says:

    PTSD affects different people in different ways, Donkey.

  9. afghani's romantic oyster & champagne establishment says:
    • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

      This is tragedy all the way around. I don’t see any hope for the sister or her surviving children (unless they’ve been adopted?), but it seems like Kayla is trying very hard to get her act together to get Sunny home and be able to keep the new baby. Am I wrong? I pray for those crazy kids.

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        There’s nothing on there about the new baby. Her last post, 2 weeks ago, said she was due in 6 days. I wonder if she has a doctor? I sure hope so.

    • virgil reid says:

      damn i wish i hadnt clicked on over to this. so depressing.

  10. K_Swizz says:

    How is this weird? I usually delete my exes on facebook after the relationship ends. If we are on okay terms later on, I’ll re-friend.

    Where does this idea come from that EVERYTHING IN LIFE MUST BE DEFINED ON FACEBOOK? It’s the fucking internet, geez.

    • LetItExplode says:

      I do the exact same thing. Some people think it’s harsh but I do it to protect myself from the inevitable hurt that comes from knowing they are still out in the world doing things without me. I have to explain this to people. And then if things are cool down the road then we can be friends. But if it was a serious relationship that resulted in heartbreak (or if the person was unhinged) then I have to delete him from my life to move on.

      • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

        I am SO glad social media wasn’t around when I was dating. Something tells me I may have been off the rails.

        • LetItExplode says:

          Oh God. It causes so many problems. I consider myself a relatively sane human being (and I rarely go on Facebook) but there have been times when some random chick has tagged my boyfriend in a shit load of pictures and I’m like “Um. WTF?” You don’t even have to go looking for trouble since they changed it to where when you sign on everyone else’s activity shows up on your home screen.

          • Donkarena says:

            I was friends with one ex boyfriend from long ago — and my conscience bothered me because I knew it would bother my husband to see it. Defriending him was my way of closing that off. As it turned out, the old bf started flirting with me through emails, such that I had to ask him to stop writing altogether. Just made my life feel a little tidier to have that avenue closed off.

    • I’m friends with a few exes on FB but mostly ones from years ago or who were more FWB situations than actual boyfriends. I haven’t dated much since my fiancé died a couple of years ago, but the one person I did date who’s on FB, I rejected his friend request.

      Point being: if it’s someone I’m genuinely friends with, I’ll be friends on Facebook. It has nothing to do with whether I’ve added them to my fluid tree (how a good friend of mine refers to sexual histories). I think at this point Juliar’s fluid tree is a weeping willow.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      Seriously, the only person I’ve had sex with that I’m friends with on Facebook is my current boyfriend. Why would I need validation from exes or one night stands?

  11. Lady Donk Donk says:

    Goat soap is definitely a dim bulb if he’s tolerating his gf saying crap like that.

    • afghani says:

      he’s betamax, for sure

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I’m becoming more sympathetic to Goat Soap — even if he is a wannabe grifter, he’s far too naive for this level of cray, I suspect …

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      I wonder if he is wallet chasing too. She probably told him she’s an angel investor.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      That’s what really rings the alarm bells for this whole thing being a sham. I don’t know if she thinks it’s a techy Carrie Bradshaw-esque musing but it just screams that she’s still obsessing over men who haven’t had their dick wet by her in years.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I don’t get what she’s doing. He has Christian, church-going parents, from the sounds of it (the older brother definitely is). So if he’s told them he’s dating this lovely woman from a reality show, hoping desperately they don’t find out about the blowjob confession, she’s basically just showing her ass on Twitter now too so that it’s just a matter of time before major parental/familial alarm bells start blaring. Every single fucking day since she did the OMG OMG BIG BOYFRIEND REVEAL OMG OMG she has Tweeted something semi-horrifying.

      Why does she sabotage every relationship with this bullshit?

  12. OMGDonk says:

    Refuse to friend me on Facebook? Oh really. How does one REFUSE to friend another on facebook? I could see an ex refusing to accept the Donkey’s repeated friend requests, but simply not adding her as a friend is a passive act. Nice choice of words, Julia. So sneaky! So dumb!

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      No doubt Donkeys friend requests are accompanied with demanding text messages.

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        I started to unfriend a few people and got text messages and emails asking why. I shut down my page entirely over a year ago. Can’t say I miss it. I just don’t get why she needs global rejection. I still think her parents have to be worried about her.

        • anon says:

          I notice that when I take people off my page they often ask me to re-friend them. Recently I gave in out of indifference and weakness and just got a message saying “glad we’re friends again.” This from someone I barely knew in high school who was using Facebook to contact me regularly. She’s a straight woman and I’m female, but it still seemed stalker-y. She does this to other people too. ugh, Facebook.

          • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

            FB needed to come up with a message that states you currently aren’t accepting friends at this time (like an old school busy signal). I had people I hadn’t said two words to since high school making comments on everything I posted. I have a lot more free time since I got rid of FB, (well, I did at least until I found this page). Funnier than fb with one common bond of disgust, it’s a win win for me.

          • bitchface says:

            Ok not to sound like a total bitch but how dare they interact with you online or comment on your posts?? Come on…. Maybe there’s more to the story than that but maybe some people are just lonely or have a really boring job or are awkward IRL but better behind a monitor. Doesn’t mean they’re stalkers (above) or assholes for commenting on shit you post.

          • @Bitchface, I agree, but that’s the weird thing about FB. There are some people whose posts I regularly comment on, because they post funny stuff. Most are cool with it, but sometimes I leave a comment and get a weird response from the OP.

            One time, some guy who went to HS with me, wrote an update saying something like “Why are these ASIANS on the bus speaking RUSSIAN.” I commented that Russia is part of Asia, and got the longest string of ridick comments from him and his “boys.” Like, excuse me for pointing out the obvious.

            Some people on FB are weird about people commenting on their updates. My thinking is why bother adding people who you don’t want to hear from in the first place? One guy once commented to me in a post: Alexandra, thank you for commenting, but I don’t appreciate you disagreeing with me about this.” The topic was Whitney Houston.

            Facebook! It’s just like high-school, only stupider!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            People don’t have to allow comments on their FB posts — if they can’t handle ‘em, they should either turn that feature off or STFU &/or GTFO FB.

          • True. Just re-read my comment and noticed that I used the word “weird” way too many times.

            I dun donked.

  13. Edward R. Burro says:

    Just saw the name of this picture: “visionofelegance” indeed. LOL.

  14. Gimme Pig of Love says:

    I also despise this assumption that somehow facebook is about real relationships instead of being (for the Donk, at least) an exhibitionist showcase of the parts of your life you want others to see.

    I stopped using facebook regularly in college, so I’m not fb friends with a lot of people who have become RL friends since then, but that doesn’t mean those people aren’t important to me or that we’re somehow not as close. I’ve also been dating my (hot, rich, & OMGemployed) boyfriend for more than two years now, and we’re not linked on facebook.

    Not that you have to be (or should be) close friends with people you’ve had sex with (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP, JESUS), but facebook is a stupid way to gauge your closeness to someone.

    Also, yes, Donk, wake the fuck up. There are men who are probably still scrubbing their dangly bits years after having sex with you because the memory of the clam dungeon gives them nightmares. They don’t want to ever be linked to you, on facebook or otherwise.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      People who get offended over Facebook etiquette are beyond help, IMO. My boyfriend’s birthday was a few days ago and I didn’t even look at his page, let alone write on his wall.

    • Donkarena says:

      ‘still scrubbing their dangly bits’….Thanks for the post-midnight laugh!

  15. SirClompsAlot says:

    Dearest Donkey,

    Life: you’re doing it wrong.

  16. New Year New You says:

    “It just occurred to me that there are people in this world who I really regret having had OMGSEX with, who I have no desire to be friends with anywhere. That’s so right.”

  17. Records Custodian says:

    This is perhaps the single most illustrative tweet of her diseased emotional health.

    If she ever fucked or blew you, you owe her public acknowledgments for the rest of your life.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      Absolutely batshit insane, as though every wallet she jumped, even back during her Georgetown days (hint, hint, Julia), is obligated to JOIN Facebook and friend a pelted donkey whom they barely remember and wish they could forget. And this is what you post to the public, to a handful of pathetic fangirls, when you’re so OMG! in love?!?!

      • Tingolayo says:

        A “relationship expert” who wouldn’t advise that it’s healthy to move on. Nice.

        Can you imagine if a trained therapist told you, “You’re in a new relationship? Great! Now why don’t you contact a few exes to see if they still like you? That might boost your ego in a really healthy way.”

  18. LetItExplode says:

    I remember one day getting a Facebook friend request from an unhinged ex. I texted a mutual friend to say “Oh I guess Ryan’s marriage isn’t working out so well” kind of as a joke. My friend wrote back that he’d filed for divorce that day. He literally Facebook friend requested me from the parking lot of his attorney’s office.

    He was the Julia in my life and probably why I became so fascinated with her in the first place. Only relationship I’ve ever been in where I walked away feeling like I’d escaped a burning car. And he still tries to pull shit because he is OMG good looking rich Harvard graduate who cannot FATHOM a woman shutting it down permanently , so I know how Jack, Jakob, etc. feel. It has NOTHING to do with love. It’s all ego. That’s the thing Julia doesn’t understand. She doesn’t love these people. She just wants them to want her and can’t deal when they don’t.

    • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      This is when that *block* feature comes in handy.

      • LetItExplode says:

        I just never responded. He showed up at my apartment a few times (When I wasn’t there. Doorman shut it down) and finally I sent him an email spelling out why he was an unhinged crazy person, all the shitty things he’d done to me, and that under no circumstances was he to ever contact me again.

        Six months later he drunk dialed me in the middle of the night and left a message like “So.. you’re email was pretty clear that I should never call you again…” Um, yeah.

        Luckily that was a year ago and I haven’t heard from him since. But if I saw him on the street I’d totally turn and run like Jakob did from Julia. He’s not physically dangerous, but that would absolutely be my instinct. In fact I’ve had visions where I’m walking down 2nd Avenue and do just that.

        And he is absolutely the type who would go on Twitter and be like “I CAN’T BELIEVE THE EX LOVE OF MY LIFE TURN AND RAN FROM ME ON THE STREET. I AM SUCH A VICTIM.”

        • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          Shiverrrr. I had an ex stalk me when I was in my early 20’s. There were no laws to protect me or anyone else when this happened. He followed me, stayed parked in the parking lot where I worked, drove back-and-forth in front of my house, called relentlessly. Though he threatened to kill me if he had the chance, there was nothing that could be done until he actually acted on it. I stayed with my parents because he was terrified of my father – moreso than of the police. Ugh. It was long and complicated and since I’m posting here, obviously things worked out. Point being that once all was discovered and revealed in court, he had been watching and following months before he made his first contact (leading to the open terror). That incident is THE defining thing when or if I decide to post pictures on fb. It’s always there reminding me that we never, EVER know who is watching. Stupidly, it took a few years for me to realize the same, or even more, precautions need to be taken when online. When I google myself it turns up harmless stuff – except for the devil Spokeo and its ilk. Better yet, when I google my birth name, it’s a page or two of an author making a name for herself before it even hits on me.
          The world is a scary place. Watch yo’ ass.

          • Jelly Roll says:

            I had this exact same experience in my early 20’s (even down to the fact that he was more scared of my father than anything else). Luckily a restraining order made it all go away (months after it began). But the phone calls, the late night pounding on the door, the threatening to kills themselves, it’s all so routine for these types.

            And so manipulative.

            That’s why the Donk cannot be excused. She is not a nice girl who’s gone a little nuts – she is someone who cannot come in contact with another human being without trying to manipulate them in some way.

            The extra terrifying part is that she feels absolutely no shame. (Regardless of what the Lala said). Any slightly rational person would be embarrassed to admit that. And yet, she’s practically bragging.

            Aside from medication, I truly don’t see anything fixing this sociopath. Ever.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Harvard grad! If only you could fix him up with Julie Albertson and watch the ensuing diamond-cut-diamond passion play.

      • Jelly Roll says:

        She’s probably already given him an ambush blow job (check his Facebook: if they’re not friends, then you’ll know ;)

      • LetItExplode says:

        God, I know. He is so much like Julia it’s frightening. NO way he ever loved me. I just crushed his narcissism by telling him to GTFO. He kept circling back because he couldn’t get over THAT. Nothing to do with loving me.

    • GimmeaWackjob says:

      I think she also wants to try to convince the exes who dumped her that she’s changed and grown since they rejected her. I will cop to going through a similar phase at about her age when I could not accept why guys would dare to reject me, because I’d put so darn much effort into trying to be as perfect and pulled together as I could be in every way I could think of. I believe she just wants validation that she is still desirable by ALL THE BOYS because she has not grown up enough yet to feel OK about herself, regardless of which guys pay attention to her or not.

      She needs to learn that life is about more than men and sex and romantic fantasy. Marriage is hard work, people cheat, have substance abuse and money problems, half of marriages break up. She is going to have a rude awakening if she doesn’t make a life for herself that can stand alone regardless of having a guy in her life or not, and she has to stop treating guys like status symbols and props that are only there to service her sucking vortex of need.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Wait, this wasn’t someone in class of 91, was it?

  19. Tingolayo says:

    This is just so sad, I can’t even laugh. Seriously, I’m trying to come up with something witty, but words fail.

    Let’s say she’s just joking around, or making a biting statement on the fleeting, disconnected nature of modern relationships. WHO POSTS THIS? Just PRETEND that you are so content and fulfilled right now, your memories of past sex partners are not even relevant.

    Maybe I’m old-fashioned, or one of them crazy feminists, but as a woman with some pride, I would never friend-request someone just for approval. I wouldn’t let them think I cared. Because I wouldn’t care. We had something, now we don’t; move on.

    Can you imagine the number of men who disavow any past connection with her, in the hope of ever attracting a sane woman? That could be on many women’s lists: #1 Has never a donkey. #2 Great sense of humor. #3 Kind and compassionate.

  20. EyeRoller says:

    Get over it Donkey. I know the concept of “thinkin” might be a passport to a foreign land you’ll never know, but even my friend who’s a well-seasoned (salt and pepper-haired, on top and below) truck stop lot lizard will tell that’s Hoe 101 and that ater you’re done baby wiping a guy’s jizz off your forehead, you take your payment of a wadded up ten spot, a half pack of cigarettes, a pocket sized bottle of Listerine, and a petrified cum-soaked belly button lintball, and you proceed to properly, as my friend used to say (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the point), “Fuckin’ damn bitch get the fuck over it already and move on before you get arrested.” You get my point.

    A spoonful of poon might help your crazy juice go down the gullet of many of your temporary prisoner-boyfriends, but trust me Donk, no guy is targeting you in his rear view mirror and jackknifing a u-turn on the Freeway of Life to go back and get you after he’s already had SEX (all caps, shudder) with you. See Donk, we all know you’re super unique and special (just like every other person in the world you dumbass). However, there’s apparently a red carpet full of guys who’ve effed that forgettable donkey gash and don’t want anything to do with you anymore. That’s embarrassing enough, so stop pounding that fact home into our faces on your Twitter.

    • EyeRoller says:

      sorry for any typos. i swear, i’m trying guys.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      I feel like there’s a long line of proposals for you eyeroller, but I’m right in there.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        We’ll get a big group of us together and do it Sister Wive’s style.

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          Oh hells yes, Doc G, especially if you’re part of the equation. I’d go lez for you at the drop of the hat just as a Donk would for Carole Radziwill, and you know it.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            Oh gwwwuurrrlllll.

            The van is gassed up and freshly stocked with donuts, sexy lingerie and percocet. I’m comin’ to get you.

            And just for old time’s sake:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smyuJbEJ5RQ

            Also:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_IERF7zyEE

            I’m 19 homeboy. Imma a male muthafucka yeahhh. Fuckin stairs and shit. Too much information and shit, man.

            We have GOT to do another group cat lady skype call soon. Miss you bitch!

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            Loves it. “Come all quiet and shit!” MISS YOU MUCHO. Figsy, SS, gumbz, cakez, KS, mcdiz I am eyeing you all right now because it’s about to get real up in here. Anyone new who would like to join, feel free, we can arrange in catchat. <3 I can haz dramatic readings?

          • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

            We can do dramatic reads on the ELLE columns, but I call dibs on the golem one.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            @mcakez

            That’s a great idea. We all need to get in chat + figure out a good night.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Shucks, thanks LeF. . You’re making me feel like I just won the Oscar for Norma Rae right now.

  21. EyeRoller says:

    OMG!!! Donkey just signed a new deal with HGTV for a cutting edge DIY tech-themed show called

    Digital Dumpster Diving with Donk: Repurposing Old Boyfriends into Like-New Humiliation in The Crazy Age of Social Media.

    She really needs to hire some of us as branding specialists. Nah, she couldn’t afford it.

    • Donkarena says:

      Sheesh! Eye Roller you had me going for a second — at first, I thought she had just signed a TV deal…

      • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

        Ha me too, and I had the visual of Jelly Donut sitting next to Pancakes on a curb by a dumpster, fuck-now I’m starving for sugar.

    • Donkarena says:

      “repurposing old boyfriends”….yet another instant Donkey classic by EyeRoller!

  22. Malformed Face says:

    Im LOLing at the fact that she has many an ex, Codename TK and Jack McCain – that we know- who hate her ass but are stuck. Ring FB friends with her. Lol. Donkey, wake up

    Did anyone read her tweet re: thinking about dosing Momsers with a pot brownie? So nice

  23. virgil reid says:

    hey finally caught the picture on facebook of how they put booties on lily and she couldn’t walk. LOL right? nothing funnier than abusing your dog!

  24. Malformed Face says:

    Someone just tweeted Donk saying she is one of the few reality stars who doesn’t come off awful. Donkey says she tried very, very hard not to but it was a battle.

    If “yourself” is so nice, why is it so hard? Hmmmm?

  25. ScoobyDon't says:

    Any one who tweets that to a Donkey should make an appointment to see a neurologist immediately because something in their brain is short circuiting.

  26. Lady Donk Donk says:

    Some of my best sex was with women who didn’t understand English. Hahaha!

  27. OMGDonk says:

    Of course Donkey doesn’t understand that her tweets only point to a mental health issue. [img]http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p549/PancakesMcCaine/fbe2a54b.png[/img]

    • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

      Ok. I’ll bite. How do you “very much” friend someone on FB?

      • Donkarena says:

        Blimey, she’s a slippery one. The guy failed to say “past” relationships and she slithered right past the real meaning of his question. What a snake.

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          Then she fucked that right up by specifying that she was referring to the “men from [her] past”. WHICH extremely happy, fulfilled individual in a relationship has to mention such people in any way, shape or form if everything’s sunny in donkadelphia? Yeah, absolutely none.

          • Donkarena says:

            yes! Also, I detect a note of forced “chirpy cheerfulness” in her reply, betraying a bit of sheepishness at being called out as a “relationship expert” who ignores a very common occurrence which is honoring your current relationship by not being in such public contact with exes. Certainly it doesn’t look good to be braying about it in a twitter post.

    • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

      “My current boyfriend will always be my FB friend…OR ELSE!!!!!”

    • GimmeaWackjob says:

      Ugh. The “beau” thing makes me want to hack up a hairball.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Did Pancakes unfriend her again? What prompted this 3 year old style tantrum, anyone know? Or is it just a self indulgent stroll down stalker lane?

  28. OMGDonk says:

    Hmm. I wonder why she’s bitching about Momsers and Dadsers?[img]http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p549/PancakesMcCaine/9f77d01d.png[/img]

    • emma bourricot says:

      She is loony tunes. What a 12-year-old girl, tweeting about bickering with your parents. God. Lock yourself in your room, refuse to come out for dinner and listen to Taylor Swift until your parents go to bed.

      • EyeRoller says:

        If she’s really upset with them she’ll slam her door and blast Skrillex while sobbing into a pink pillow shammy and slamming her junior high Monchhichi doll against the flowery headboard of her daybed.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Dad$ers refused to let her stay in the OMG! Downtown Condo because Raul is there for the week?

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Seriously, she has gone from “guy I let stick peen in me won’t keep being friends with me!!!!” to “omg, parents are soooo annoying” tripe. FFS Julia, you’re 30-gregdamn-1. Enough with the high school teenager schtick.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        And don’t forget:

        @JuliaAllison: I just hiked Runyon & halfway through I thought, “Would it really be so bad to secretly feed my conservative mom a pot brownie??” hehehe

        Which WTF? After everything they’ve done for her? Greg she is a fucking asshole.

        • New Year New You says:

          Julie, I’d hardly call a mom who edits her daughter’s sex column a conservative. Maybe she turned conservative after watching her donkter talk about ALL THE BLOWJOBS she gives on tv.

          Also Julie, I thought you didn’t do drugs, so how would you know about pot brownies? And do they make gluten free pot brownies.

          Donkey.

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            She’s also said she spoke openly with her mom about her decision to have sex and get on birth control when she was in high school. Rewriting history as usual.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            Right? When I read that tweet I was surprised. Momsers might be politically conservative but she doesn’t strike me as naive at all. She’s endured 31 years of JA, FFS — she would undoubtedly welcome any form of escape.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

      “What’s the plan NOW, Julia?”
      “To kill you. Hahahaha! Come on, that was a joke! Have a brownie.”

    • SirClompsAlot says:

      I love that she specifies that she’s visiting for a week. Lest any catladies think she’s admitting career defeat and moving back in with the folks.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I bet this one is about them telling her she and Goat Soap cannot sleep in the same room. What else would she be fighting with them about before they’ve even arrived?

  29. Jelly Roll says:

    I can’t get over the face that she’s going to burning man to make miniature statues of herself, after taking endless pictures of herself in 3D.

    WAIT – this might be the end of one JABA the Donk. I’m not at all sure she’ll be able to handle seeing herself in 3D without having a full on breakdown. I guarantee she avoids 3 way mirrors like the plague.

    Countdown to the 5150 starts now.

  30. OMGDonk says:

    Whoever she buys Twitter followers from is NOT discrete, much like a Donkey.

    Totally normal to get almost 8k new followers in one day, right?
    [img]http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p549/PancakesMcCaine/0e3eba0a.png[/img]

    Donkey meltdown on the day she lost 1800 eggs. And 3,603 new followers for 3 consecutive days? SAVE YOUR MONEY DONKEY!
    [img]http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p549/PancakesMcCaine/104cd9aa.png[/img]

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      I dunno, those jumps look pretty discrete to me.

      Okay, I’ll go to my corner now.

      • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

        The noticeable jumps all happen from June 16 (+4,350 new followers THAT DAY) to July 20 (+6,824 THAT DAY). Prior to that, she averaged around 15-20 new followers per day and since 50-70 new followers per day.

        For comparison, a real Twitter celebrity like Alyssa Milano with 2mil+ followers averages 1,000-1,500 new followers per day on the high end. And she’s on the suggested user list for new sign-ups to Twitter.

        It just looks discreet zoomed out!

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

          I was just making a pedantic joke about discrete vs discreet. :)

          Her jumps in followers look pretty stepwise, thus they are both discrete and not discreet.

          • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

            You catladies are too smart for me sometimes — I honestly had never noticed those are two different words. I’m in the Twitter analytics biz, so shit like buying followers really irritates me!

  31. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    Her parents nurtured this hosebeast and deserve all her ridiculous behavior and the accompanying embarrassment. Hopefully she doesn’t accidentally suck a dick the whole time she’s back home.

    • Donkarena says:

      I think she’s putting up a strong offense because she is coming home not the conquering hero and new media darling of Bravo on the heels of her smash hit show. Instead, she’s dragging her broke ass home, a total, publicly humiliated failure at EVERYTHING. Totally WASTING her big opportunity.

      • KashMoney says:

        exactly. it’s easy to convince mom and dad she’s queen of the internet, the olds don’t understand that new technology.

        but everyone knows and gets “reality show loser/freak show”. the most liberal mother on earth isn’t going to be proud that her daughter is talking about blowing a guy on tv–and actually referring to it as a “blow job” to boot!

        • Ex Spurt says:

          Imagine what all those fantastic moms with their fantastic sons thought….The shame factor must be huge. I’ve always considered myself a pretty liberal parent but if that was mine who humiliated the family like that (and especially at fucking 31 years of age! FFS)… Poor Robyn, I’ve always felt for her.

          Just as well Donk’s got Goat Soap with her (he must be running low on cash by now), there will be less difficult conversations.

          Also, would love to be a fly on the wall for the Dadsers/Goat Soap one-on-one.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Heh. He’s a sacrificial lamb goat at this point — D0nkey is taking home the obvious non-choice “partner” so as to distract Mom$er & Dad$er from the real issue, ie: her truly whore-rendous hosebeast persona revealed to the masses.

  32. 11th Wang says:

    Call me crazy but…..

    In an effort to save face, Julia convinces the front ender (who she may have been casually dating / boning / attending weddings and grifting seminar parties with) to play the part of boyfriend.

    She was freaking out over her unhappy ending on Miss Advised, didn’t want to look like a TOTAL loser, so made up the narrative of finding true love after filming wrapped.

    She could have easily persuaded his gullible, fame and money hungry ass to be her boyfriend on Facebook, etc. under the guise of pitching their own show or “co-starring” in season 2.

    If she really had a boyfriend, was in the honeymoon tailspin of falling in love, her behavior would be TOTALLY different from what we’re seeing right now. We’ve seen that before, we know what it looks like.

    • Donkarena says:

      yeah….I think you’ve sized it up correctly. Also, notice she hasn’t said how much she’ll miss her honey boo boo…And I guess she’s not bringing him with her?

      • Donkarena says:

        If I were obsessed with twitter and Facebook, and were actually in the first stages of an all-encompassing new love, I’d either be tweeting/posting about him all the time, or so enchanted by him and being with him, that I’d lose interest in that obsession for a time.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        She was more excited about Greasy. When they were dating she would tweet things like missing my SF boy.

        But since Donkey reads here all the time, I expect a tweet once she is in Chicago. Waiting with bated/baited breath for the iPhone screengrabs of their hilarious romcom texts.

  33. Antibiotics with a Side of Antibiotics says:

    Just two words on this picture: SIZE UP!

  34. Dr. Gary says:

    OT – for any other cat ladies out there enjoying a relaxing stay-at-home Sunday, ‘The Bachelorette’ online:

    http://www.1channel.ch/watch-2734559-Bachelorette

    The 1st putlocker link is a good one.

  35. sausage curls/fingers says:

    My mom is on Facebook and she’s never friend requested me!

    It just occurred to me that there are people in this world who have PUSHED ME OUT OF THEIR VAGINA who refuse to friend me on Facebook. That’s just wrong.

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      I just snort laughed and will offer you a hug since your mom won’t fb friend you. Too funny.

  36. Lady Donk Donk says:

    If my woman said that shit anywhere to anyone I’d dump her outright. I should be enough for her. Period full stop.

    • OMGDonk says:

      It would be so telling if OMGbfOMG doesn’t do the dumping after Donkey’s recent exBF braying. Julia’s new perfect partnership can’t be romantic if it survives.

  37. Donkarena says:

    What an INSANE thing to put on one’s twitter feed when you’re supposedly so in love. Also, I don’t believe it “just occurred to her” (a clear attempt to give it a lighter touch — like she spent all day loving up her new soulmate and delivering meals to shut ins , etc… then just came into the kitchen to get a diet coke when it SUDDENLY occurred to her that her old fuck buddies aren’t FB friends!!!) — I think she has obsessed about it 24/7 for quite some time.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Maybe–and I realize this is a stretch–she’s trying to friend the ex’s because she wants to SHOW THEM she’s so happy with goat soap. Neener neener jellyd! I’m dating a code monkey now. Or Michael, who, guaranteed is not her fb friend.

      • Donkarena says:

        excellent point! hadn’t thought of it, but that seems entirely in keeping with her need to broadcast to and convince everyone that she’s SO HAPPY AND SO OVER ALL MY PAST LOVES!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!!!!!

      • OMGDonk says:

        Ah that actually makes sense! Donkey could also think the ‘in a relationship’ status makes her less predatory to the ex-sexed. BUT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW, ACCEPT MY FRIENDSHIP!

      • AFGHANI says:

        Did Michael have his lawyer send a C&D when Donkey pulled that thing with his fiance (now wife)?

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        That was my first thought. She’s pissed they’re not on her friends list so they can see that she’s finally found the greatest love she’s ever known and it wasn’t them, those assholes who had the gall to dump her.

  38. Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

    O/T cat peeps.
    There will be demonstrations around the globe on Friday in support of Pussy Riot. I’ll be attending the gathering in my city. If you’re so inclined, check out what’s going on where you live and stand up for these feminist bad-ass women and raise your voice against repression of artistic expression everywhere.
    http://freepussyriot.org/

  39. diluted brain says:

    Who gives a shit? – which would be the same comment I’d give to about any of her tweets. It must be embarassing to put your whole life out there on twitter, fb, etc., right? I think the internet is her only friend.

    I give this guy another month or two before he flees the scene because she’s nuts — or because he realizes that he isn’t straight or is done playing her beard for her “many fans”.

  40. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    i love how she writes sex in all caps as if to imply she did these people a total favor by banging them. what surprises me is that she didn’t have them sign some sort of legal document beforehand promising to friend her on fb and twitter, and worship her on the internet every day thereafter…

  41. Princess WideStance says:

    OT but Emily has been on Dr. Phil and other media, promoting her podcasts, etc. WTF is donk doing? Picking lint out of her belly button at mommy and daddy’s?

    If she wants to be famous so fucking bad, why doesn’t she try. Strike while the iron is lukewarm, dumbass. This is as good a chance as you’re going to get.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      ‘why doesn’t she try’

      Because she’s too lazy and stupid to capitalize on her brief moment of reality fame. She’ll waste the opportunity like she always does.

      • Jelly Roll says:

        Agreed. Both Amy & Emily are on the hunt.

        Amy’s book is AW-FUL. Literally, it’s filled with worthless advice like: “you should look nice if you’re going on a date, don’t wear the same clothes you wear to the gym…” I mean really, it’s 100% pointless drivel, but at least she got something out there. Show ends, and BAM – her book’s for sale.

        And here’s Donkey, thinking about, maybe, perhaps, someday attempting to have a ghostwriter create a book for her…someday…maybe…maybe not.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          Too busy to think about book proposals right now! Burning Man, then Fashion week, then Halloween, then Christmas, then her 32nd birthday…

          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            AGH THIS BOOK THING MAKES ME SO ANGRYFACE.

            I’m a writer (as I’m sure many of the catladies are) and I make a living writing books, and it is SO FUCKING HARD. I don’t usually complain about it because hell, it’s the job I chose and I love it most of the time and also my covers are pretty *pets*, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t really, really fucking hard to sit down and squeeze out 90,000 words that other people want to read. (Granted, I write fiction and she writes about…herself, but still!!!)

            I hate it–HATE IT–when people are like, “Oh, I’m going to write a book someday!” Writers write. All the fucking time. It’s not something we do “someday.” It’s not something we stop doing because we have “writer’s block.”

            Argh. If I ever meet her and she calls herself a journalist, I’m going to give her a really good reason to get a new nose.

          • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

            I agree it makes me sick to see Lauren Conrad “write” a book and it sells enough for her to “author” a second book. It used to mean something to get a book published. Now you just hop on a stupid reality show, sell your soul and get a book deal.
            Gimme, I think it’s amazing that you make your living that way. Working on my first book and would be happy that someone other than my parents read it.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Blowjobs, there have always been books “by” celebrities, since the very earliest days of publishing. Then, it was highwaymen; now, it’s Snooki and Lauren Conrad and co.

            It doesn’t devalue books by actual writers any more than the thousands of “Highwayman’s Dying Confession!” books devalued Shakespeare, whom they hugely outsold.

          • Can-Swiss says:

            @Gimmie – Julia writing about herself is a form of fiction.

          • EyeRoller says:

            @gimme– Keep up your good writing; don’t let a donkey get you down.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

        She was convinced she was going to be a big star and that people would throw money at her. That was her plan.

      • Donkarena says:

        and as a result, her phone isn’t ringing.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      Emily is smart and articulate and has something to say.

      Donks, on the other hand, has NOTHING interesting to say and never will, because the only object of her interest and curiosity is herself and only herself.

      Add to that that she is not likable, has a disturbing laughter and wears more make up than Joan Rivers, and you got yourself a nonstarter.

      Who in his right mind is going to book her to a show? For what? There aren’t enough bj’s in the world!

  42. Occupy Donkeytown says:

    Well, that’s one way to bump up your friend count…

  43. OMGDonk says:

    WHAT is she talking about? [img]http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p549/PancakesMcCaine/f2b9d0a0.png[/img]

    • Donkarena says:

      Actually, awkwardness between people who have had sex in the past but have moved on to others isn’t unheard of. In fact, that’s one of the definitive awkward situations in humanity. Not saying it’s true for everyone, just saying it has the potential to be awkward. So to declare that it’s just “WRONG” and “weird” is something very ODD for a “relationship expert” to say. A relationship expert would be the FIRST to understand that it’s a possibility.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Uh no, it’s actually what you do EXACTLY when you’re actively involved in a good one. What? Is wrong with her?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      “PARTNERSHIP” ??!!?? Lol, D0nkey, please. You only reinforce the suspicion that Goat Soap has been contracted to appear in fauxtos w/ you as “THE BOYFRIEND” when you bray that nonsense.

      Go pick on someone your own size & let that kid alone.

    • EyeRoller says:

      “It’s not like we stop thinking when we enter a partnership!” (from her tweet above)

      Will someone please explain to this whackaninny that it’s necessary to START thinking about something before you can STOP thinking about it? Also, now she’s too good to consider anyone’s observations who even bothers to tweet her anymore (a great business marketing tactic btw dung for brains), dismissing Claudia with an immediate ‘Nah’ when when all Claudia was doing was pointing what’s obvious to most commoners, which is that it’s slightly ODD to gauge control of your life’s progress by how many of your exes you’ve got blackmailed or on Facebook lockdown.

      All of this is really making me pity the prison full of guys who’ve dipped their dicks into that dirty, witless pit of donkey kerosene she calls her pussy.

      • Gimme Pig of Love says:

        I’m no prude, but thinking about Donkey having sex and all the grossness involved is one of the biggest turn offs I can think of. You know how in that (strangely awesome) movie Think Like a Man, one of the girls tries to keep herself from having sex too soon with a guy by wearing granny panties?

        Yeah. They should all just try thinking of the Donk. Instant turn off!

    • GimmeaWackjob says:

      So she wants to friend everyone she’s had SEX with…I thought Facebook had a limit on friends, 2500, isn’t it? How will she make that work? She’s been with at least twice that many.

  44. OMGDonk says:

    Of COURSE he’s coming. Photo op![img]http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p549/PancakesMcCaine/07fc80cd.png[/img]

    • Donkarena says:

      then why didn’t she say ‘we’ haven’t arrived in Chicago yet and “we” are staying a week — she’s being oddly silent about Goat Soap. Somebody better call the Sheriff to check his apartment.

      • OMGDonk says:

        I think she only responded as part of her strategy like yup, still going strong! such an odd tweet to choose to bray to the world IM TAKING HIM HOME TO MEET MY PARENTS!!!

        I bet Dadsers knows he’s a beard and is all Julia, spare us. How dare they anger a Donkey! Hoof stomp.

        • Donkarena says:

          yeah….if Dadsers has any snap at all, he knows that Julia just blew the biggest chance she had to make it on her own and finally get off his dole. He’s probably crushed and embarrassed that the entire country (not to mention his friends and colleagues) now knows what an incompetent moron his daughter is. Oh, the shame of it.

    • bitchface says:

      my boyfriend my beau my blowjob recipient my lover my partner my man my boy my guy MY MY MY MAN SOMEONE WANTS TO HUMP ME ME ME ME ME ME

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      People give too much information when they are telling lies. (I’m staying for a week), not an important or relevant part of the tweet, just giving information to add to the lie. Think she’d have learned the less said the better, because she can’t keep her lies straight.

    • GimmeaWackjob says:

      Sounds like the ‘rents might be giving her grief about Donk and the Beaujob sharing the same manger.

  45. Donkarena says:

    Let’s see some pictures of You and Goat Soap tearing up Chicago, Donkey. We want PROOF.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      Yes! And shots of the airport carousel and a sign on the Dan Ryan Expressway don’t count. “My beloved Goat Soap on a Rope had never seen bags come down the chute before and so I took this picture to commemorate our O’Hare luggage and donkey feed retrieval.”

  46. Malformed Face says:

    Omg, she is Psyco !!!!!

  47. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    partner$hip not relationship huh? man she is so clever. yeah i bet they’re partner$$$$$!

  48. Donkarena says:

    Well, Donkey, maybe these former sex partners are ‘a mess’, just like you declared you were on the last episode of your show. (And I do mean LAST). Why is it now appropriate that you summarily declare THEM “wierd” and “wrong” for not FB friending you — yet you expect others to just accept and love you unconditionally as a loveable “mess”? My puzzler is getting sore over this double standard of yours and how it’s supposed to work.

  49. EyeRoller says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison:
    My parents are driving me crazy and I haven’t even ARRIVED in Chicago yet (I’m visiting them for a week). UGH.

    Right! I’m sure she’s never frazzled her parent’s nerves so bad that mom had no choice but to start sprinkling crushed Ambien on her own morning Muselix, and dad was forced to double his nightly visits across town to see your “Uncle Raul”. By the way Donk: Your “Uncle Raul” called and wanted me to tell you that when you get off the plane in Chicago, he’ll be waiting for you at baggage carousel 1, where he can’t wait to plant his foot up your arse and teach you a lesson for embarrassing his man, I mean, your dad, with all your frantic low rent Hollywood antics.

    Right, I’m sure her parents are the ones who are bothering her and never the other way around. Too much. This bitch is tackier and wackier than a moldy churro rolled in glitter-batter and deep fried to swap meet imperfection. I take that back, she’s more like a neon macrame wall hanging collecting dust on the bottom shelf of the sale rack at the back of the local mall’s Spencer’s gift store.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      My guess is that her parents are asking her the twenty questions about Goat Soap and of course she doesn’t actually know anything about him because she is too shallow to pay attention.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        She should ask me because I know far too much about him. Ha ha ha it would be funny if it weren’t true.

      • EyeRoller says:

        I’m just wondering who paid for plane fare to Chicago. Think Donk and G. Soap pulled a magical “double grift” somehow? You know once that plane is in the air, Donk will tell Goat Soap Soup she’s going to use the restroom, and 45 minutes later he’ll have to go looking for her, only to discover her, snuck into an empty first class seat, passed out cold, slimy donkey drool oozing down her lobster bib.

    • Gimme Pig of Love says:

      I’ve been a lurker for awhile, but I must confess I do not know where this Uncle Raul thing started. Since I’m mostly literate, I can infer, but can someone sum up/point me to the origins of this?

      • EyeRoller says:

        I will rely on more experienced Donk spectators/commenters as to true inception of “Raul”. When you google “reblogging donk raul” there’s a bunch of comments about him. From what I’ve gathered from reading, “Raul” is her father’s alleged “super special man buddy”, though I also like the idea of using a “Raul” as generic slang for a closeted older man’s gay loverboy.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

        Raul was born on a vast cattle ranch in Argentina in 1957. When Raul was 7, his father died, whereupon his mother immediately married her longtime lover, a Chicago orthodontist (“I thought no one but Jesus could fix my snaggle-teeth, but there he was” she fondly recalls), and Raul grew up dividing his time between Chicago and Argentina (“moving from winter to winter”). After obtaining a B.A. in divinity at Notre Dam, cum laude, he drifted for a time, working as a lighting assistant at Studio 54, living on a commune in Vermont, and selling elaborated tooled leatherwork in Chelsea. Eventually, Chicago called out to him — well, his mother did — and he returned there to open a small art gallery for Thomas Kinkade. The gallery was an enormous success with art lovers from Chicago’s northern suburbs, and one quiet, sunny day, the door opened and there stood a dream in pinstripes…

    • bitchface says:

      Why? Because they’ve asked her yet again when she’ll be getting a job?

      “So what’s the plan THIS time, Julia?”

  50. Albie Quirky says:

    I hate her.

    That said, I am friends with most of my long-term exes on Facebook. Because we’re actually friendly in person and all. “Friendly” as in “if my husband and I happen to be in their city, we might all get together for a drink,” not super-tight because that didn’t turn out to be how it rolled.

    But that’s because I actually liked these people, I didn’t just think of them as walletprops.

  51. OMGDonk says:

    [img]http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p549/PancakesMcCaine/37a7bf1a.png[/img]

    • EyeRoller says:

      That bio would be a lot more accurate if it just read: “American”.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      Not that these Twitter metrics often mean much, but Donkey’s FAR score indicates she has LESS influence over her followers than the AVERAGE TWITTER USER. Her score is 4 out of 10. Such a social media expert. Excuse me while I die laughing.

      • Peltergeist says:

        Is there a way to tell who has bought followers, aside from a sudden increase? I thought I saw someone post a site the other day where you could see which percentage of someone’s followers were bots or bought…

    • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

      I found that link a while back (when she first started #cheesyshilleting and the price per tweet was about $65 at that time, I think. I guess this clears up why she bought so many ‘followers.’ It doubled her rate (that still basically no one will pay).

  52. EyeRoller says:

    Forget the fact that she appears to not only have personal body dysmorphia and ex boyfriend obsession, but more and more it strikes me as flat out Life Dysfunction. It’d be easier if she were an actual crackhead because you could at least throw her in a detox, but alas, she’s free to roam the world (PRISON is a place where donkeys run free… thanks Donkerena), so how do you solve a problem like this donkey? She’s a neanderthal with a 21st century monster ego, to whom the concepts of honest and reasonable behavior are just silly, indecipherable hieroglyphics on a dark stone wall in the back of her head. The only thing she knows is clubbing men on the noggins and dragging them back to her proverbial cave.

    Translation: Donk’s stoopstoop and craycray.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      I think she’s probably faking Bipolar 2 syndrome.

      • Donkarena says:

        I have no doubt there is some sort of behavioral disorder driving her actions. She really does need help. And NOT from a British mind architect. She seems to have some form of a personality disorder, like many other people. I really think she would benefit from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy — “Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) treatment is a cognitive-behavioral approach that emphasizes the psychosocial aspects of treatment. The theory behind the approach is that some people are prone to react in a more intense and out-of-the-ordinary manner toward certain emotional situations, primarily those found in romantic, family and friend relationships. DBT theory suggests that some people’s arousal levels in such situations can increase far more quickly than the average person’s, attain a higher level of emotional stimulation, and take a significant amount of time to return to baseline arousal levels.”
        http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/an-overview-of-dialectical-behavior-therapy/all/1/

        • EyeRoller says:

          Interesting. Perhaps it could benefit her, if she EVER thought there was anything wrong with her. I’m thinking at this point tranquilizer dart or stun gun therapy are Donkzilla’s only hopes before she ends up grabbing helicopters from the sky and tearing the top off the Empire State Building.

        • GimmeaWackjob says:

          I know they plan to take Histrionic Personality Disorder off the DSM next summer but I do think that and Borderline Personality Disorder sum up her behavior.

          Not unheard of for people with these disorders to also be bipolar, which just exacerbates the cray.

  53. Malformed Face says:

    @Gimme Pig

    Raul is Julia’s dad’s sexy times boyfriend. We made him up but we suspect he might be real ;)

  54. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    Man, I am neglecting my reblogging duties. I don’t even know why you call him Goat Soap. Thanks for taking up the slack, lover.

  55. pearipathetic donkey says:

    Does she introduce every wallet to her parents?

  56. Donkarena says:

    The more I think about it, the more I think this is a veiled jab at JellyD, cloaked in a bunch of strawmen…

  57. VictimofFacebookCRAY says:

    Bunnies,

    Off topic, but I would like to report a case of Facebook cray involving none other than my Ex.

    Said Ex was the picture-perfect boyfriend for over a year. Well into his 30’s, complete Ivy League prep, lawyer at prominent firm. DONKEY would have DIED to get this guy.

    I found out he was doing some pretty ghetto shit behind my back a couple weeks ago. He was done. Unlike Donks, I don’t tolerate bad behavior for the sake of having an arm candy. Then what happens….drum roll…..

    This thirty-something, Ivy -educated lawyer sends out a f*cking group message, involving 8 people who are MY friends in real life. First paragraph asking to stay friends despite out break up – sure whateves, I am not one to the possessive about my friends. Second paragraph involves a COMPLETELY FABRICATED STORY about how and why we broke up. It was actually not just untrue but also demeaning.

    “This shit cray!” I yelled at him only this weekend, and I totally wanted to tell him that even Julia Allison – this girl I am on a hater blog for – wouldn’t have stooped so low and so creeps. A fucking group Facebook message?? Well, I was wrong.

    In sum, my picker was off. I was mos def dating the male Jules for the past year.

    • Donkarena says:

      ugh….so sorry for your tumultuous weekend — and last year. Once again proving to look deeper and act with self-respect when you see something wrong. Egos like his (and Julia’s) don’t process rejection well. I think sometimes the best pedigreed “catches” out there are the ones who are the most effed up. Congrats on your freedom.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      Precisely the reason I never went for those staunchy, uptight lawyer types. And why I don’t have a Facebook. Some say greed and the love of money is the root of all evil. I disagree. Social networking is the root of all evil. *makes the sign of the cross*

      • Donkarena says:

        I truly would like to get out of FB, but I have relatives, old classmates and friends I like seeing pictures/news of. What I am doing is weaning myself to once a week or so — I would so love to be off it altogether, though.

  58. Malformed Face says:

    Goat Soap is taking a week off for Chicago and a week off for Burning Man??? Lol. I would be embarrassed if this is my boyfriend. Dude, get a job!

  59. CountMeInDaisy says:

    I just stumbled upon this glorious creation on my interwebz after watching the psycho hosebeast (who, incidentally, tops Courtney Love in my book, and I thought that wasn’t possible) on MissAdvised. How did I go so long without this in my life? I am thoroughly amused and very much addicted to this blog.

    And, I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t say this. FuckedFace? No. No, she looks like a man. She looks more masculine than my fiance, who is the epitome of effortless manliness and machismo. Also, she is batshit crazy, and not in the funny way. Can we not send her in for a 5150, like they did with Britney when she lost her mind? No? Ah, come on, please? She seems like she’s a danger to herself and those around her. Especially after slapping that poor terrified man through the face, after what I believe to be two dates. I don’t care what she says, he was petrified, men who have been happily dating someone for three months don’t look that scared of said someone showing up unannounced.

    She might call stalking a “nasty word”. Daisy here counters with “appropriate term is appropriate. Get. Help. NAO.”

    • Donkarena says:

      Welcome to the basement! Excellent observations. Every new member validates that this chick is so off her rocker, somewhat normal earthbound folks need a place to go so they can scream.

    • Donkarena says:

      she doesn’t like the word “blogger”, either. She prefers the term “journalist”

    • EyeRoller says:

      Yes, I agree. She is very, very manly. You did know she has a dick, right? Yup, she told us. Apparently she has a problem maintaining hard-ons, on her own body and and on those of others as well.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      I thought the hipster term for that now was “lady boner”. Hard on. Why am I not surprised? Hey, have you ever thought that’s why she wears so many full tailed dresses? To hide “her” boner?

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      Also, I feel the need to comment that if she dislikes the term “blogger” so much, why does she write a “blog”. Why is she on social networking, shamelessly promoting herself like a “blogger”? Yeesh, I hate blogging, and I make no bones about it on my–wait for it–anti-blog. Which is hosted on a writing site with my novel, and various other works. Then again I find that social networking is the devil, and I don’t think just anyone needs to be up in my business, but hey, I’m sane.

      • Donkarena says:

        I’ll bet you’re a far better writer, too! When she corrected that guy (after the bike ride date) and said “I prefer the term journalist”, I about fell off the couch laughing. The girl can’t write a word…

        • GimmeaWackjob says:

          I actually think she can write OK. Not great, but certainly she has a passable style for most of the sugary/frivolous kinds of websites she would stalk for jobs. The problem is that her pieces are completely devoid of content and invariably she shifts the focus to herself. Plus there’s that whole missing deadlines thing.

          But even when she did the recent video interview segments for the hi-tech companies, she dressed and made herself up so inappropriately that the viewer’s attention would invariably become focused on her and not on the people she was interviewing. I don’t think she’s capable of toning down her narcissism and histrionic personality disorder enough to change. She has the contacts now to do something but it’s going to require a serious (wait for it) paradigm shift on her part. I don’t think she can do it but it will be fun to watch her try.

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            Chiming in to say welcome! I like your observation about her competing for attention with her interview subjects. So true. I’m not a writer or journalist, but in my civilian mind, I perceive a journalist’s job as presenting a story or interview, not trying to hog the spotlight or act out in a hammy or distracting way.

            It’s especially obvious during Fashion Week, when she badgers and stalks that poor photographer (from Getty? I can’t remember her name) to take her picture, hops in front of step and repeats, and generally makes a nuisance of herself. She isn’t there to tell a story, she wants to be the story and IMO that’s not journalism.

        • Donkarena says:

          ….all elements of good writing

        • CountMeInDaisy says:

          Now, let’s try this AGAIN (since it does not want me to post again apparently…)

          Thank you so much for the compliment! I’m going to link my page here, in case anyone wants to check out my work–it’s not much, and I know it’s probably not that good, but I’m pretty freakin’ proud of what I have. Flash would be the novel, if you’re interested in reading.

          http://figment.com/users/91657-Robin-Leigh#

          Also, since we have deduced that this “woman” (see: poor excuse for a drag queen) has a permanent erection, I am dubbing her Julian the Jackass.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Calling people out of their gender is transphobic. There’s nothing wrong with being trans; there is TONS wrong with being Julie Albertson, who is cis.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            cis?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            “Cis” is the opposite of “trans”. Used in geography (“transalpine/cisalpine”) and chemistry (“transisomeric/cisisomeric”), now in discussions of gender identity as well.

          • AFGHANI says:

            cis/trans is the naming convention for the arrangement of groups attached to double-bonded carbons. it describes whether the higher priority groups are on the same or opposite sides of the C=C bond.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      I’m not trying to be transphobic. I actually have friends who are transgender. Just saying, though, if it looks like a man, sounds like a man, and says it has an erection…

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Calling a cis woman trans as an insult is transphobic, even if you’re BFF with RuPaul and his entire Drag Race.

      • fig says:

        I know you were not trying to be hateful towards people other than Julia, but Albie is right. It makes me very uncomfortable when we call her a drag queen or even worse, a trannie.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Isn’t drag queen simply a dude dressed up in women’s clothing? And doesn’t Donk occasionally look like a dude dressed up in women’s clothing? Why is that offensive?

          • She wears more makeup than most drag queens, those same drag queens who happen to look ten thousand times better than a donkey could ever muster.

            The trans comments make me a lil uncomfortable, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying that RuPaul could take Julie to school in what it means to be a lady.

          • fig says:

            I guess the difference in calling her a drag queen (which is not a hateful term) is that we do mean it as an insult?

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Some drag queens are gorgeous and a lot hotter than she is.

          • But is it an insult to a drag queen to say that Julie could get lessons in being a lady from a drag queen?

            We should sign a donkey up for Ru Paul’s Drag U, but she’s probably too stupid to learn anything.

          • Little Orphan Lilly says:

            So I went to a college that has a Drag Ball as probably the biggest event on its calendar, and there was an ongoing conversation/rant about how the guys would really go for it, often with these INSANELY theatrical costumes (I remember one year during the runway show this guy I knew came out with this enormous Scarlett O’Hara style ballgown with a latex vulva on the front…that he pulled an American flag out of), and meanwhile women would usually either halfass male drag or just go dressed kinda slutty. Anyway, there ended up being a really interesting conversation about how if drag is about gender as a performance, then a cis woman doing female drag as a really exaggerated performance of femininity could potentially still count as drag…anyway, all of this is a really long way of saying that I think Julia Allison is often performing female drag, in that she is wearing/exhibiting markers that she doesn’t actually possess in real live.

            That said, I think that’s a viewpoint I’d only say around people who got that using “drag queen” in that context isn’t meant as “HA HA HA BECAUSE MEN DRESSED AS LADIES IS FUNNY.”

          • I agree, LOL, a donkey dresses and adorns herself in such an exaggerated way, it’s her idea of what femininity is that any drag queen (who are known for going over the top with makeup, hair, and costume) would pull Julie aside and ask her to take several seats with her masquerading self.

            Also, where did you go to school? I wish we had parties like that at my school!

  60. bitchface says:

    she’ll be spouting Gotye lyrics in 3…2….1…..

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      Oh, please God no. Not that. Make it stop, my ears are bleeding! Oh, wait, I mean the braying, not the song, even if it is overplayed.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        She made me hate that song passionately.

        • Jordache & the Pelts says:

          Me too. Although when my four year old niece sings it (very off key) its kinda endearing because she gets a kick out of it. I think i need to do some cultural intervention on her though.

  61. The_Manta says:

    [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/fddl5x.jpg[/img]

  62. Donkarena says:

    When he meets her parents, I hope Goat Soap wears that getup with the dark pants and the nifty white belt….

  63. Albie Quirky says:

    I really really wish I could be a fly on the wall during the Goat Soap visit.

    I hope Robin makes her famous guacamole!

    • EyeRoller says:

      I love it when upper middle class white people make homemade guacamole.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      Will Donkey pretend to clean dishes in her pearl necklace and 1950s-style frock again?

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Do you think he’ll get the stamp of approval from Dadsers? He’s self-employed and has no educational pedigree.

      • JFA says:

        I think they probably want her married off as quickly as possible just so she can STFU. Though, jesus christ I pity anyone involved in the planning of that monster shitshow. She’s NEVER GOING TO SHUT UP ABOUT HER WEDDING, before during and after. She’s going to seriously fucking explode. I cannot even imagine how many pictures seh will take. Shudders.

    • CountMeInDaisy says:

      …The woman that spawned this thing shares my name. I am properly ashamed now. Thank God I don’t make guacamole.

  64. Sake Bombardier says:

    OT: Paging Dr. Gary.

    Last night I was having the drinks because I was trying to screw up (pun intended) my courage to do a CL Casual Encounter but ended up getting too drunk and passing out with people texting and emailing me “SO YOU COMING OR WHAT” and now I have a hangover and am working from home and they are doing construction in my hallway with a tablesaw and nail gun and I have to finish a proposal for a 4:00 client meeting and I just want so very badly to make it all go away.

    Got anything for that?

  65. GimmeaWackjob says:

    Just wanted to say I’ve been here for less than a week and I love all of you. Thank you.

  66. JFA says:

    There is no reason to subject a boyfriend of five minutes to a fucking weeklong meet and greet with your parents. Jesus fuck. I hope the poor fool has been to Chicago before and doesn’t expect this jackass to know where the cool places and things to do are.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      “You’ll just love Hub 51, Dev! Did I tell you that one of the owners wanted to date me?! Oh, I did? I told you several times? Well, anyway, we can definitely get free drinks because they’ll treat me like a star!

      “No, I’ve never been to The Art Institute? Why would you want to go to that silly place when we can hop on a plane to Houston and go to Hunter’s gallery. More free drinks and we can refresh ourselves in the public lavatory!”

      • AFGHANI says:

        aren’t the melmans the brothers that were the subject of julia’s bravo video where she said she slept with brothers before?

        • Jack the Bulldog says:

          Good question, Afghani! I think the one fat Melman invited her to prom and she didn’t go, and I had thought she wasn’t intimate with either … until now, when you reminded me of the Bravo overshare.

          • Speaking of OVERSHARE, why is AMERICA’S NEXT TOP SECOND DATE BLOWJOB QUEEN going on a talk show (Ricki Lake) to talk about social media and oversharing, two things she knows A LOT about, but unfortunately what she knows is COMPLETELY WRONG!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          More likely the brother who flew her to Africa & then she went out w/ his brother? That’d be about right, since she’s previously claimed not to have slept w/ one or both.

  67. Albie Quirky says:

    Say, Julie, Angelyne is here to answer the musical question, Do you know/Where you’re goin’ to?

    To be honest, though, Angelyne brings ten times the wit and warmth to the whole business of trying to be famous for being famous that Julie does.

    • EyeRoller says:

      Angelyne almost knocked me out with a glass door as she was exiting a 7-11 in Hollywood one time. By far the most magical moment of my life.

  68. ShesJustStupid says:

    Julia Allison
    about an hour ago
    Today: I’ll be on Ricki Lake talking social media and OVERSHARING. What’s the worst overshare you’ve ever seen on Facebook??
    Like · Share
    22 people like this.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Wow, she’s going to be on Ricki Lake’s UStream webcast? Huuuuuuuuge.

      (Lake’s actual TV show doesn’t start until September.)

      • mule on rouge says:

        Sounds like she’s a last minute replacement guest, if she’s mentioning it the same day it’s happening.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      The worst, Julia? Seriously? Probably yours complaining about the men you’ve banged not wanting to be FB pals.

    • mule on rouge says:

      Last minute crowdsourcing for content. Typical Donkey. Doesn’t she realize that every one of the “worst overshares” on Facebook are HERS!

    • Can-Swiss says:

      Ricki Lake? Did she travel back in time? Is that show still on? I think I saw a commercial for it in 1997.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Heh. Perfect, actually. How many times has someone on RBD likened D0nkey’s life to a John Waters film?

      Good Greg, please let the stylist put a bow on D0nkey …
      [img]http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ricki.jpg[;img]

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Did I screw that up?
        [img]http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/ricki.jpg[/img]

    • idiotbox says:

      Do people still share their ideas with them? She obviously steals them and presents them as her own. That text-app that wouldn’t allow one to send a text for a certain amount of tine was sourced through twitter for her appearance on Alexa Chung. Remember how she said during some VH1 shit-series that some guy texted her once “sex tonite yes ot no?”
      http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/68898645

      It is to laugh.

  69. CountMeInDaisy says:

    Okay, I’m going to go ahead and call it, I give her three weeks at MOST with this guy. Mostly because I think he just might be gayer than a handful of rainbows.

  70. Arl says:

    I thought I saw Goat Soap while I was waiting for the L this morning. I must be paranoid since I read that they are apparently going to be in Chicago for a week. Then I realized they probably will hardly be in Chicago-proper at all. And further realized even if they were, there’s no reason Goat Soap would be waiting at the Western Blue stop at 8 a.m. Guess it was just some other poncy skinny guy in cigarette pants.

  71. Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

    From bravoratings.com: “At 10pm, ‘Miss Advised‘ aired it’s finale, which retained just 38.58% of its RHoNY lead-in. 556,000 (0.3 demo) tuned in and that meant the overall season average came in at 573,750 and 0.26 demo. This show never seemed to hit the mark, and while the negative attention directed at cast member Julia Allison, seemed to have drawn many viewers, at Bravo Ratings we’d be surprised if a 2nd season is commissioned. With this show airing at 10pm as WWHL’s nightly Tuesday lead-in, it has also hurt the ratings for WWHL as only once during its 8 week run as WWHL rated in the nightly Cable Top 100 shows.”

    • Greg says:

      Ouch.

      Did I read here that there is speculation that Silex is behind the bravoratings.com site/cite/sight? I just read they are going to be on a marriage counseling show – same one as Courtney Stodden. I CANNOT WAIT.

      • OMGDonk says:

        Simon is 100% behind BravoRatings. I’m really surprised Bravo hasn’t sued yet, or at least issued a C&D letter. Silex just cannot let go.

    • Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

      Prince Andy’s WWHL was directly affected by the media kryptonite of Donkey! You should be ashamed all you obese jealous haters.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Sounds like “the haters” are the only reason anyone watched. Donkey must be so proud.

  72. JFA says:

    I love how the more you think about some of the offhand bullshit she says, the stupider it becomes. Happens every time. Why, god, why would anyone want to be friends with every person they’ve had sex with? It’s just SEX for some people, sometimes. Even if it was a love relationship, not every goddamn ex has to be a pretend friend. The amount of validation she needs simply for existing is just very sad.

    • JFA says:

      You’d think a sex columnist would understand this kind of shit.

    • A-Game Content says:

      And the more you think about it, the more her schtick is just pitiful. First off, sane, mature, single people need not be told whether or not to friend an ex on Facebook? Beyond that, where the hell is her “advice” being doled out, anyway? It isn’t!
      When you think of the awesome accomplishments that people can accomplish by age 31, and then you think of sad sorry Donk (ringing DonkSAD… haven’t seen you in a while!) trying and failing to write a guest blog for Elle.com for eight weeks and then spinning, spinning, spinning… well, darned if it ain’t the most pathetic posturing I’ve ever seen.

      • my blocked writing says:

        I think she bills herself as a dating columnist a la Carrie Bradshaw with all the trite soul-searching personal essays and insights- “what is it about men that makes them refuse to wear matching Halloween costumes?”

  73. A-Game Content says:

    The first eleventy times I saw this NYE photo, in all its full-coverage, Maidenform glory, I cringed at the exposed granny bra, but hadn’t really noticed her back legs. My word… size up, indeed… her left haunch! Good lord.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      You put your right foot in,
      You put your right foot out;
      You put your right foot in,
      And you shake it all about.
      You do the Hokey-Pokey,
      And you turn yourself around.
      That’s what it’s all about!

  74. Albie Quirky says:

    Ha ha ha Jesus Christ she is trying to crowdsource a unicorn costume on Facebook.

    A unicorn costume for Burning Man.

    I seriously laughed until I vomited (not in the shower, either). Perhaps Julie is not a good choice for invalids like me.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Honestly, Amy and Emily are actually doing things to try to capitalize on their semi-fame from Miss Advised. Donkey? Nothing. Perhaps Momsers pointed that out and that’s why she’s fighting with her parents and fantasizing about drugging one of them. Lazy asshole.

  75. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    “ChickRx: Which health issue or cause matters to you most?
    Julia: I’m passionate about healthy eating! Particularly gluten free, meat free, dairy free, high-fructose corn syrup free, organic and pesticide free eating. This country needs to get on a fruits and vegetable based, natural, local diet. I think the messages we’ve been sent by advertisers–to purchase packaged chemical toxic CRAP masquerading as “food”–are downright immoral. It disgusts me.”

    http://chickrx.com/articles/confessions-and-tips-from-julia-allison-star-of-bravo-s-miss-advised

    Didn’t she do sponsored tweets for Kraft? As in Kraft “cheese food” or whatever nonsense is on the label.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      Indeed! She was hawking Cheesy Skillets from her twatter. Fucking hypocrite.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      What about chemical toxic CRAP such as CUPCAKES? What about THC, a chemical in the POT BROWNIE she wants Mom$er to eat? What about the ALCOHOL she sips? What about ALL THE CHEMICALS she injects in her face?

      • KS says:

        What about that picture of her fridge, packed to the brim with frozen non-local vegetables (cmon Brayella I know you can dig that up!)

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          That boring one where she had 17 each of three different items? Yeah, D0nkey is ALL about fresh food, eh? But no, her dead-on-the-vine (see what I did there?) site / sight / cite isn’t getting any hits from moi.

  76. FuckYou Money says:

    Apologies if this has already been posted, but here’s an app that purports to identify how many fake followers a Twitter account has.

    http://fakers.statuspeople.com/

    Donk’s shows the following:

    Fake 10%
    Inactive 38%
    Good 52%

    No idea how this compares to the normal world.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      Thanks! Peltergeist was just asking about this.

      • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

        I ran that app a week ago and it said her folllwers were 2/3 fake and inactive and 1/3 real. Odd.

  77. emma bourricot says:

    I think one reason Julia is fuming and spinning her wheels is that she thought this show was going to air in the fall, in the same line at Randi ZOMerberg’s show. Not in the dead of summer. And naturally, she’s spent these past few weeks slobbering over a guy instead of actually writing something (ha, I know guys) or promoting her personal brand (she doesn’t seem to know how to do this for herself anymore, except flippantly suggesting she’s a cautionary tale). Now it’s over and her shelf life as a “reality star” is rapidly nearing its end. There will be no second season and she knows it.

    She blew her chance, again and with even more fanfare than I could have predicted. Probably shamed and irrevocably damaged her relationship with her parents in the process. Amy and Em are out promoting themselves, and Donkey is limited to webcasts with Ricki Lake, publicly sabotaging her new relationship and pretending to be someone she’s not (pot brownies? Oh Donkey).

    Has she said a word about upcoming Fashion Week? 3, 2, 1.

  78. Jack the Bulldog says:

    Kristin Thorne requests your presence:

    “Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @kristinthorne. I promise my tweets aren’t obnoxious ;)”

  79. Don Quixote says:

    Recent fb post from Donk:

    “Today: I’ll be on Ricki Lake talking social media and OVERSHARING. What’s the worst overshare you’ve ever seen on Facebook??”

    Kinda ironic considering she just tweeted that people she has had SEX (note the shouty caps) with refuse to be her fb friend. Doubt she’ll reveal that “overshare” with Ricki!

Comments are closed.