Let The Joint Fauxto Shoots Begin!

1. This dude is extremely cute. Has she ever dated a hotter guy? I don’t think so.

2. She looks like his mother. Seriously, she could be 15-20 years older than him. I wonder if she’ll stop injecting her face now that she’s met “the greatest love of all.”

3. Should be interesting to watch how she screws this one up. And when that happens, it will be at least her third round of “how will I survive the loss of the greatest love I’ve ever known?” Remember how mad she got when we had a poll predicting how long she and Pancakes would last? Hmmmmmmmm ….

4. The only reason she wasn’t braying to the rooftops about this dude after the first date is because, I am guessing, she was contractually obligated to shut her trap about her personal life til after the show had aired. It must have been killing her, and she slipped up a couple of times. And she will never acknowledge how publicizing her relationships, and exaggerating them while doing so, has caused her so much grief. In fact, in one photo she tweeted she wrote simply: “I love him.” Three months, people. That’s our Julie — continuing to never learn!

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486 Responses to Let The Joint Fauxto Shoots Begin!

  1. Nickelodeon Chic says:

    I don’t know, you guys. He’s already acquiesced to matching outfits. I think this could be the one.

    • Malformed Face says:

      Plus he went to an out of town wedding with her after like, 6 weeks of dating. Way to play it cool Julia. And she brought him around all those Burning Man grifters.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Out of town wedding and introing to BM grifters – I’ll allow it. But the matching outfits, not so much; that was the wedding (for people she’d known for all of two seconds) where guests were specifically instructed to wear white.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I never understand those all-white weddings.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          “What do you want most on your special day, spoiled bride?”

          “To look out over the assembled guests and have them all wearing my dress.”

  2. Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

    I think he loves his pockets.

  3. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Pic #1 she looks a bit wrecked.

    Pic #2 is kind of cute, but they both look a bit wrecked.

    Pic #3 actually looks pretty good. Not a huge fan of white-on-white but the outfits are consistent and look appropriate for something outdoors. For once the pearls don’t make me want to rip them off her neck and flush them down the toilet.

    I think you’re right in that this is the best looking man she’s ever dated.

    Best of luck with this one, Julia. I mean it sincerely.

    • CDB says:

      RRR I am with you, I hope this one works out.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure (fka Donkeycam now!) says:

      Hmmmm.. It’s a little scary that they went to such lengths to wear white (pic #3).

      Because of that, I give the latest greatest-love-of-her-life till Labor Day.

    • Donkarena says:

      Me, too. Just praying there’s no reality show like Giuliana & Bill.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      greg help me, I looked at Julia’s genuinely beaming face (his, too!) in these photos and thought the same thing: maybe this one will work out, and I kinda hope it does.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I’ve gone soft in the head. It was Oliver Sacks showing up in that thread yesterday that did it.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I hope it does too because I want that wedding. I NEED that wedding.

        • Factory Seconds says:

          Seriously. A Donkey wedding would be refreshing. Her being happy with someone and still managing to be an asshole would be so so refreshing and probably better for her.

        • boredm says:

          yessss!!!!!! i want a wedding, too! i honestly think it will be the only thing that will keep me interested anymore.

          this guy’s also a great dresser…i’m hoping that will rub off on her as well. i’m curious to see what julia would look like dressed age-appropriately and trendy!

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      I don’t find this aspiring grifter attractive in the least. Too skinny, dorky, sort of a low rent Guy Pearce, and I don’t think there’s a lot going on upstairs–Exhibit A: the Good Reads list–so I think this relationship will last a few more months because it’s going to take him a little time to catch on that Julie is batshit insane. And she may dress him up in matching outfits, but nobody shares the spotlight with our donkey.

      • LOL at low rent Guy Pearce. This dude has a long goofy face and small beady eyes. Not cute, totally fug.

      • I think he’s seriously skeevy. That second photo gives me the creeps.

        • Badonkeydonk says:

          Am I the only one who thinks he looks TOTALLY gay? The face, the hair, the posture, the clothes…!!! Gay.

          And in that first pic, it really looks like A Donkey needs to tinkle. What a stupid pose.

          • Breakfast Burro-ito says:

            I just think he looks dumb. Such a willing grin. Maybe they’ll be the next Speidi!

          • Patricia Grace says:

            I didn’t want to say anything, but as soon as I saw the photo, that was my first thought. (Not that there’s anything wrong with it!)

            If we could hear his voice, we’d all know in an instant.

            Backstory on how they met, etc?

          • defective LEARN button says:

            Burr-ito i can see donk ending up staying in her parents basement just like Speidi is now.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            LOL’g at DEFECTIVE!

            Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
            Last night I had a dream (nightmare??) that I went home to visit my parents but they didn’t have any room for me at their house. :-( geez.

            This shit really does write itself :-)

          • Neferteri says:

            No, you are not! Exactly what I thought when I saw these pics.

  4. Can-Swiss says:

    He’s not rich, he’s more or less unemployed. I’m assuming he’s arm candy to prove that she CAN have a man to all her twitter followers.

    I’d give it 2 months.

    • virgil reid says:

      i feel kinda bad for him honestly. she is not a changed person. she’s trying to to think she can love him but she can’t. she’s an opportunist and a sycophant. he has nothing to offer her. he’s like prom king 2.0; he’ll either ditch her when he sees what she’s really like or she’ll OBO him.

    • fig says:

      Maybe the fact that he is unemployed works in his favor. Making Julia feel loved and validated seems to be a full time job.

      • donniedriveby says:

        She’ll put him to work…. dogsitting, luggage toting, Clam Dungeon Spelunking…

        • Dr. Gary says:

          ‘Clam Dungeon Spelunking’ = gave me major lulz.

          Out of curiosity, I decided to google image search ‘clam dungeon’ to see what I’d find. Look at the 1st and 2nd search results:

          [img]http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/815/clamdungeon.png[/img]

          Momsers and Dad$ers must be so proud.

    • AFGHANI says:

      Him being marginally employed is why he’ll tolerate her. He has had opportunities to do things he never would’ve been able to afford otherwise. This wouldn’t be true of most guys Julia has “dated”/banged. Hell, it wouldn’t be normal for any fairly successful ~30 yr old guy. Add in that he’s dumb and you can see that he won’t figure out that Julia is batshit crazy for a while…

  5. Malformed Face says:

    Sorry, I don’t think he’s hot at all. His teef are so little, the eyes are beady… PASS.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I like his face. He could seriously get a much, much hotter chick than Mrs. Potato Head there.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      I agree: not hot at all.

      How old is he? He seems to have crow’s feet and vertical wrinkles in his face, like a 40+.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Not hot in my opinion. Too try hard and too skinny. Just not my type.

      • Donkarena says:

        has his moments in photographs, but not my type, either. Must be really skinny in the flesh…needs to bicep curl a couple o’ cats.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      Michael was hotter, IMO.

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        Michael was the hottest.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Oh yeah, forgot about him. Eater Guy was also smoking hot. And I’ve always thought Lodwick was really hot too in an unconventional way.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Eater Guy was the only hot guy she’s dated in my opinion.

          • Diabetic Feet says:

            Lodwick is gross. So is his weird brother.

          • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

            Eater Guy gets my vote for hottest too.

          • New Year New You says:

            Team Eat A Guy too.

          • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

            I think Eater Guy is rather unattractive, myself. I also feel like if you do a side-by-side with him and PK, they looked very similar to each other, yet everyone seemed to think PK was hideous.

            I’m still team Yummy Yimmy. Elephant neck and all.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            [img]http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/967/teamyimmy.jpg[/img]

        • heddy says:

          Michael was hot, but I’m probably alone in also thinking that Chaz Forman (sp?) is the second hottest.

          This guy looks gross to me, but I hope this one sticks because I’m sick of this bitch after all these years. Please get your fantasy wedding and disappear.

          • Lilly Liberation Front says:

            No, I think Forman is hot too. Strange as fuck, but hot.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I’m probably alone in also thinking that Chaz Forman (sp?) is the second hottest

            Whatever turns your crank. He looks like Popeye to me. Also a small head, though that wouldn’t be a bad choice for Miss Enormonoggin in terms of having birthable childrens.

          • Donkarena says:

            that’s priceless, albie…

          • mcakez says:

            Albie – I don’t think she needs to worry about that. Look at the spread she manages in the sailor boys picture; her inevitable fuck-trophy is going to pop out like a pez.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            She do have a wide stance.

          • JFA says:

            I used to think Forman was super hot. Now he looks like a goddamn freak on roids and his shirtless internet photos gross me out to no end. He is also a tremendous weirdo and not in a good way.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Yep.

      • JFA says:

        Michael was hot, and okay he was not even her bf cuz he had a gf lol but I thought TK was very very very hot.

        Speaking of which, that is just another example of a guy she could not STFU about (she announced on that terrible MTV talk show she appeared on that she had a boyfriend she met on FB when she was dating him)…and was over the moon, etc etc etc until OOPSIE he had a gf and ran fleeing. She is super into every guy she is with and it never works. This will be no different I’m sure.

        • JFA says:

          Oops that is written all wrong, I meant Michael was hot but I thought TK was too but HE wasn’t her bf cuz he had a gf.

          Anyhoo. I feel like I never heard anyone else say they thought TK was hot. But I remember thinking he was very hot. And way out of her league clearly.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            TK was hot.
            I like Eater Guy best.

          • JFA says:

            I don’t find eater guy hot AT ALL. Yes I google image searched him because I am that bored and procrastinating majorly doing work. He is moderately attractive at best. My humble opinion.

    • emma bourricot says:

      I agree. He’s cute, but I thought Eater Guy and Redacteds 1 & 2 were so much hotter. I’m gonna refer to this guy as Spray Tan until a proper nickname is established.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        I think of him as Cardboard Cutout, because he seems like a useless prop she just hauls around.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        I kind of like Spraytan

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Eater Guy is the only one who is my type at all. High School Dan appeals to me in terms of personality, but doesn’t float my boat lookswise—I only like dark-haired boys.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I cannot believe I am sharing my opinion on which of a stranger’s boyfriends I would fuck. Sometimes I feel like my extensive studies in Donkology are making me a pettier person.

      • Pescachickenarian says:

        Waldorf salad. Bland with a hint of nuts.

    • SilverBulletViBRAYtor says:

      The brow ridge gives him a Geico caveman quality when viewed from certain angles.

    • JFA says:

      He does nothing for me. He’s generically “hot” I guess but besides not being my type at all, I think he’s just thoroughly meh.

      • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

        plus he’s been to the donkey show, so… he’s tainted. and clearly has no judgment.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      We need to go back and watch TJ’s video again. Just remembered he’s in that.

    • Neferteri says:

      STTS — small town teef syndrome.

  6. iblow4shoes says:

    In this current world state of uncertainty it’s nice to have JAB around. You can count on her repeating the same mistakes over and over again. My bet is 4 months until he bolts.

    • CDB says:

      Thats just it. I am sort of getting tired of the wash rinse repeat cycle and so I am hoping this turns out to be a phoenix event for her.

      Here is a suggestion JAB…. Keep this one private and see if it turns out better for you .

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        She is incapable of doing so. That’s truly what’s so sad about her. She claims not to care anymore about what people think but just by posting these photos she’s proving she still does, because why else would you do it? It’s yet another form of boasting/bragging/self-aggrandizing.

        I have been with the same guy for four years and there is not a single photo of the two of us on my FB page, or even a photo of him. The only people who have seen photos of us together, when we’re not in their company, are family members and very close, lifelong friends.

        • iblow4shoes says:

          This.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Cognitive therapy with an actual cognitive therapist and not a bunch of glitter-coated grifters might actually help this lunatic. It would make her examine her motivations for doing stupid shit before she actually does stupid shit. There was no purpose in posting these photos other than to inflate her own reputation. Which means nothing’s changed at fucking all. Which actually, for some reason, kind of pisses me off. I WANT her to grow up. Grow up, dumbass, and maybe you’ll finally seal the deal and I WILL GET THE WEDDING THAT I DESERVE!

        • Bulimia bloat with a side of bray says:

          Eh I have a few of me and the man on my fb page. But its not OH MY GOD I’M SO IN LOVE HE’S THE ONE FOR ME DURRR HURR HURR thing. Matter of fact, my profile picture is a chicken in a wheel chair that I got from the Regretsy website. I don’t think a pic or few here or there are harmless. What Julsie does though…..Christ on a cracker….

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I know, I am bit in the other extreme. There’s nothing wrong with having a few shots of you and your man up on FB if you’ve been together for awhile. But it’s always WAY TOO SOON with her, and her motivation is always self-aggrandizement.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            A chicken in a wheelchair, you say? I covet that beyond words.

  7. Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

    He’s a freelance/contract kinda guy, no? Not the type of guy who’s starting his own thing beyond hanging a consultancy shingle. Front end dev is a long, long, long way from “ready to pitch Sand Hill”.

    Beyond that, I didn’t get the impression he was particularly of the kind of $$background$$ Julia would want.

    So I’d guess he’s a candidate for a cunty OBO that backfires on JAB; whatever it is, it’s all done before Halloween.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I dunno, this very well could be the year when D0nkey actually has her own costumed date for Slutoween, instead of flying cross-country to work crash bachelor parties …

      [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/90d3lk.png[/img]
      Even CAPTCHA (who deemed this ‘one and only‘), wants a wedding!
      [PHOTOGRAPHY CREDIT: Drew Alitzer]

      ::wondering if CuntBunnies & I have the same ‘vision’ for this *ahem* fauxto opp::

      • darling dearest says:

        its impossible not to have that vision

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Wow, he and she have a shared love of shitty costumes from Walmart! They could go out for Halloween, him in that whatever it is and her as Upside-Down Wonder Woman!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      To be honest, I would feel a grudging respect for her for discarding her checklist and going with a guy who seems to like her regardless of how he doesn’t meet her dumbass checklist criteria IF SHE HADN’T ALREADY LIED ABOUT HOW HE MET ALL THE DUMBASS CHECKLIST CRITERIA.

      Ways he doesn’t meet her checklist:

      He’s self-employed, and given that he had time to do Julie’s website, probably doesn’t have many gigs coming in.

      He isn’t from money or from a statusy family.

      He didn’t go to a prestige school.

      No sick whip.

      He isn’t “connected” or whatever shit she wanted in that respect.

      We’ve been over the “well-read” business ad nauseam.

      Ways he does meet her checklist:

      Obviously loves costume parties.

      Seems to enjoy vanity photo shoots just like she does.

      Seems to really like her. (WHY?!?!?!? Run like the wind, Waldorf!)

      Is probably what she considers “handsome” and has what she defines as “a great body.”

      His parents are still married. In fact, they seem to have been together since they were 16.

      • darling dearest says:

        this is the same shirtless website guy?

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Yes. He is weirdly protean in pictures, isn’t he? In some of them he looks like a thinner Justin Theroux and in others he looks like a stocky frat boy.

          Which he was. A frat boy, that is.

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        You can’t teach an old donkey new tricks. There is no way in this world she suddenly (or even gradually over the few moths since shooting ended) realized there was more to life than materialism and fame balling. If she’d changed, she wouldn’t have added another dozen items to her List Of Lunacy including one stressing the importance of him being willing to be on TV. She lives by the list and that means she’s still “me, me, me” in her thinking. I’ll stick with OBO the second some Valley clown in a Tesla gives her a second glance.

        I’d almost believe she’d fall for the “I’m a producer” line, honestly.

      • Helena (Never Dated a Normal Person) says:

        Eh, I never for a second thought The List (which I’m admittedly not sure I ever read in its entirety) was something she really genuinely literally meant. I wouldn’t call her picky, even though that is probably what The List is probably trying to convey because it’s so cute and princessy. She wants a 1) rich (willing to spend lots of money on her), 2) well connected, 3) kind of good looking guy who will 4) love her unconditionally (tell her that she’s the most beautiful princess in the world, approximately 12 times a day, never pay any kind of attention to anyone else, never question anything she does, wants or brays, make adoring comments at all times, and spend lots and lots of money on tacky shit). Oh, and 5) doesn’t mind posing for 12,000 fauxtos a year. That’s it as far as I can tell.

        All the other points on The List are just hickish snobbery and/or nonsense that she believes makes her look SMART / upper class / thexay /adorable. In many cases, she has no idea what those words mean in the first place. “Well-read?” “Fascinating?” Yeah-right. “Intellectually curious?” OMG stop, I’m laughing so hard I may get an aneurysma.

        Does anyone here really believe she would turn down a guy who matched all the points on my Short and Concise version of The List but was a “social conservative” or had OMG divorced parents? Suuuure.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        The guy with the initial A. Brother?? Old, no, considering the age of the rentals? Teen love child? Also — Jesus freak!!

        They’re gonna LOVE America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen!

  8. Malformed Face says:

    So if she’s going to Chicago for ten days, she must be bringing her new amour. What is Daddy going to think of this downgrade????

    • A-Game Content says:

      I agree- my impression from all the nonsense she spouted at the finale episode was that she wanted to stop “caring what people think.” that meant her parents. I think her snobbery is a learned behavior – feeling like she needed to marry as well as Brother Brit did.
      Coupled with the references to how she *thought* she needed to have a routine life in the ‘burbs if she got married makes me think this whole relationship is, in part, a thinly veiled jab at her parents.
      Little Julie is rebelling!

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

        Did Brit “marry well” in a snob sense, or did he just marry someone who seems smart and nice?

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Her family seems to be comfortably off, probably not quite as much as the Baughers. Her dad works in real estate; they live in Winnetka in a house that Zillows for 75% of what the OMG BEACH HOUSE Zillows for.

          Anyway, in these fucking old class-obsessed fossils’ worldview, the man is the wallet. Your son marrying a woman whose family is close to your level of economic status, but not quite there, is ideal, because she fits in but you can patronize her to your heart’s content. Your daughter, on the other hand, should marry a man who’s way richer than you because that’s how you advance up the social ladder.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

            Well, if Donkey ever achieves her dream of marrying a wallet, in some ways, she is very well adapted to the role you describe; there aren’t many people easier or more enjoyable to patronize to one’s heart’s content.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            You can’t really patronize Julie enjoyably, because she is always braying and pink and tacky and horrible all over the place in front of your friends, though.

            It’s like that Woody Allen movie where everyone is a dick and Maureen Stapleton wears a red dress, except without Maureen Stapleton actually being awesome as fuck.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

            I see. Is the ideal more like the Melroses in Never Mind, with the sadistic and sophisticated husband driving his comparative nonentity of a wife to drug abuse and stifled despair?

            PS Julia is Bridget, except not as classy.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            YES YES YES YES

            Edward St. Aubyn love forever!!!

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Well, if Donkey ever achieves her dream of marrying

            Funniest thing I’ve read all day!

          • Norse Horse says:

            Wow! Albie mentions Interiors, and Tremendous L brings up the Patrick Melrose novels, which I just finished and Albie also loves.. no wonder I love you catpeeps so much. :) Smart crowd.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I would buy that if she wasn’t all ‘OH HE MEETS ALL THE CRITERIA IN MY CHECKLIST’ when most of the criteria are snobbery that he doesn’t actually meet.

        • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

          You have to remember that she herself doesn’t meet many of the demands on her check list, so I have to imagine those ones sort of cancel out in real world application. We need TL;DR to come up with a fancy mathematical analogy for it.

          For example, ‘brilliant’ and ‘well-read’ for Julia equals “Thinks I am brilliant, and has lots of insight into talking about me,” and “will read my drivel and tell me how great it is, and occasionally leafs through a self-help book.”

          Maybe he DOES meet many of her qualifications, but it’s because, despite her having a 73 point list, the standard for those points is actually pretty low.

    • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

      I wonder if Dadsers has given up his own rules at this point. She’s from the midwest, 31 (32?), and not remotely close to a wedding (I’ll believe it when I see it). He might ease up on the 401k bit (was it ever really his deal, or does she just like saying that?) if it meant have his daughter seem a little more stable.

      Although having said that, I think most dads hear the word “freelance” and hear “unemployed”. (Father of the Bride, anyone?)

      • Can-Swiss says:

        Freelance can mean many things. I run my own small business and work freelance as well. I do pretty well for myself and make more than most people who are staff in my industry. I also work less in general.

        But I also know a friend of a friend who is a “freelance consultant”. He went to a good business school but is a slacker/asshole who can’t land a job let alone keep one. So for the last 3 years he’s been “freelance” which means working part time and having his girlfriend pay rent, buy him clothes, vacations, etc (her parents are rich, so it’s not even her money).

        They just broke up and he is hopping couches at the moment. I think he’ll actually have to get a real job soon…

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think “underemployed” is probably accurate in Waldorf’s case. To be fair to him, the last place he worked closed a couple of months after he left.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I mean, I think he left because he could see the place was closing, or they ran out of $$ to pay him, or whatever. Shit that happens to too many smart people these days.

          • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

            ” Shit that happens to too many smart people these days.”

            True, but dude is a Donkey Diddler. We can safely exclude him from the category “smart people.”

        • Lilly Liberation Front says:

          Jesus, Albie. You’re quite the sleuth! Can I hire you to find my birth mother? ;-)

          • Albie Quirky says:

            It’s a terrible habit, really. I blame my childhood addiction to Harriet the Spy. Also past reporting jobs. But mostly I am just nosey.

            And I get delighted by the little novels of people’s lives that turn up, like the whole Rick Moody-esque story that came out of figuring out who was selling the building Julie’s living in. In my headcanon, Dawn L. Roddy was this feisty single lady who made big bank in California real estate at a time when it was even more male-dominated than it is today, and when she died her lawyer nephew started managing Auntie Dawn’s property empire for all the nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews.

          • EyeRoller says:

            He can find your mother, but he can’t make Donkey disappear.

  9. Donkey Sanctuary says:

    Adriana rios ‏@adris88crazyluv
    @juliaallison Aww congrats :) you deserved it after all the heartache.post a picture of you two

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @adris88crazyluv – Thank you Adriana! Not sure about a photo just yet … we’re still a new couple (just three months)! Maybe one day!

    I guess “maybe one day” meant today?

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      Lying conniving donkey had an entire batch of photos ready to be published as soon as the Miss Ass Vice finale was over.

      Who is she kidding? She was desperate for the world to know that she landed a hot man.

    • bitchface says:

      LOL

      she did it for all her fans – ALL THE GIRLS – who think they cannot find twue wuv by going on a reality show. YOU CAN DO EEET!

    • Donkarena says:

      Must have been short for “in one day”

  10. juliajane says:

    I’m still working on my PhD in Donkey Studies, but I’m pretty sure most of her relationships break up around the three month mark, no? Although I must say he does look genuinely happy in those photos.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      It’s probably the most money he’s made in months!

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      I’m with you, juliajane. Most other guys have some kind of “get me out of here” vibe to their forced smiles. (Exhibit A: any picture of Julia with Pancakes.) I think he looks like he is genuinely enjoying the ride. He’s not a founder, he’s not a scion of a major political family, he’s not a politician and not a celebrity, he’s not from money…and yet Julia also looks pretty genuinely happy here.

      Do I think she’s a changed woman? No. But do I think there’s a tiny, tiny chance that this could go the distance to a February 2013 Valentines wedding? Oh yes, yes I do.

    • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

      I also agree, he does not look like he wants to flee. But now that the online cray is beginning, he may not be so content. I think she will keep cranking up the exposure to keep her twit-fans entertained and engaged as the attention from the show winds down. And the off-line cray will increase accordingly.

      • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

        Right? He’s been off the grid this entire time. No WONDER it lasted 3 whole months. This is an experience no bf of here’s has had in the last decade. It all starts crumbling now.

        Honestly, the guy may be a publicity whore (any man who does his own vanity fauxto shoots has to be), but so was Jelly(x11) and even he could take the cray.

  11. A-Game Content says:

    My Greg, those jeans! SIZE UP DONK.

    • Pearipathetic Donkey says:

      I think that is her I’m-a-cool-Eastsider-because-my-boyfriend-lives-in-downtown look.

  12. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    I’m not kidding: I feel like this guy is being paid to go along with this. Their body language even looks like they’re both party to a transaction.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      You & I may be the only ones, but yeah, pretty sure that the hoof is greasin’ the palm.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        What are you talking about? She only lent him the Mercedes so he could go pick up his unemployment check and get her TV fixed, her CD player repaired, her computer updated, her jewelry re-set and the chandelier cleaned. He’ll be back any day now.

      • Records Custodian says:

        You two are not the only ones.

        This is an arrangement, pure and simple. I have zero doubt.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          You say that about every boyfriend, or doubt the existence of dudes who turn out to be real. Love you immensely, but this is true. I understand your skepticism, however.

          • Records Custodian says:

            You are right beyond right. I never believe anything she says.

            It is utterly unimaginable to me that any human being can spend time with her for reasons that have nothing to do with personal gain.

            Maybe there is a lid for every pot, even the ones boiling bunnies. I don’t buy it, but I guess anything is possible.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      I might agree with this, if only because during that Hawaii trip, she seemed kind of miserable. “I’m staying in because I’m old!” “I miss my family” “I wouldn’t come back here.” Maybe Devin went out without her and partied with Doughboy Penny Stocks?

      • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

        I wondered about this too. He was there, but she seemed to spend all her time tweeting and googling herself.

      • Donkarena says:

        Perhaps a desperation deal was struck in the waiting area before her flight home…

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        If I’m in Hawaii (or even an airport motel in Boise) with my boyfriend, I’m fucking, not tweeting. (I would not be surprised if she counts tweeting as “work” and plans to write this off as a business trip.)

        • Can-Swiss says:

          Yeah, in general with all the YOU’D LOVE ME IN REAL LIFE shit, she seems manic and crazy and miserable. If she was really happy and in love, she would just shut up about everything and move on.

        • EyeRoller says:

          Write off what? You’re assuming she does her taxes.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I am sure Pettifogger’s accountant does her taxes. Because he knows she won’t do them if he doesn’t make sure they get done.

    • Wonkeye says:

      Me too. He’s her beard so she can get a book deal on how her retarded checklist OMG really works!

      • Malformed Face says:

        AGREE, AGREE, AGREE!!!!!

        It also helps her explain why the Elle gig is up, “I mean it doesn’t make any sense NOW THAT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. HAVE YOU MET MY BOYFRIEND? OH, LET ME SHOW YOU SOME PICTURES OF MY BOYFRIEND!!!!”

  13. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    why do all of these photos look super set-up?

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure says:

      Because they are?

      I can’t even imagine what a pain in the ass Donks must be when she poses for her fauxtoshoots!

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        Some things I recall…

        – Somewhere there exists video of donkey live and in action taking fauxtos (w. complete photo shoot setup, natch) at the Webutante Ball. You get to see her leaping, posturing and blowing kisses on video and it’s as crazy as you’d expect.

        – A former fan-turned-catlady met a donkey in the wild and after taking a picture, donkey immediately ran to look at the camera screen and demanded it be taken again because she “looked fat” or something to that effect. Other people have also noted that she does that whole “endless photos until there’s one she’s satisfied with” deal constantly. So yeah. This is also the same person who said that “commissioned” (LOL) Warhol fake of her face was created from a candid shot. Donkey candid is closer to the profile shot taken at FooCamp that one time while she was completely unaware; naturally, she hated it.

        I actually think this intel and her obvious posturing in every shot is what sparked the decision to post less flattering shots that were beyond her control re: removal/switching for something better. She went somewhat batshit in her wikipedia page “talk” section because they wouldn’t replace her red hair, green dress opera photo with the one that exists now – a profile shot from 2006. Far more accurate!

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Let me put it this way.

        Her nickname isn’t Karla Kubrick for nothing.

  14. stalker is the new fat says:

    The Jack McCain reveal was one of the happiest days of my RBD life. This one is not doing it for me so much. I guess due to his nobodyness. If a crazy person makes a scene with an anonymouse, does it provide any entertainment for me? Future unclear.

    That said, if she finds happiness, I am happy for her.

    (BWAHHAHAHAHA as if that could happen)

  15. EyeRoller says:

    I’ve seen guys that like with donkeys such as ours.

    Trust me, she’s OVER THE MOON right now. However, a helicopter ride like this (piloted by Donk, Keep that helo in the air, Donkey!) is headed in two directions– Down in flames and up in smoke.

    • Donkarena says:

      Can you imagine her having to live a low income, domestic life? Washing his dirty whites? Making tuna melts? What worries me is what she will do now that the show is over, the spotlight has moved on, she’s been unmasked as lazy, shallow, an inept “writer”, bad candidate for any serious employment structure, and shameless fame whore.

      • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

        exactly – these types are NOT is financially stable (unless he’s sitting on a pile of family cash we don’t know about…)

        and she’s not even looking for stable, she’s looking for R-I-C-H

        good luck dude (wonder if she’s already filled out his application for Stanford?)

        • Albie Quirky says:

          (unless he’s sitting on a pile of family cash we don’t know about…)

          He is not.

          • AFGHANI says:

            I love that while I’ve been engrossed in making fuck you money$$$ lately, you’ve been here keeping things on track and vetting all the new characters in this Enchanted Donkeytale.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            It’s a sickness, I think.

          • AFGHANI says:

            I don’t think it’s sickness, it’s just extreme curiosity, combined with your own knowledge that you’d never act on anything in an unethical way. Like if you found out about a painful family tragedy, you wouldn’t post it publicly, but it would inform your thinking.

            I do this type of thing all day, 5 days a week, and unless I’m fooling myself, I’ve been able to keep that same boundary up, but use the info in ethical/legal ways. I just appreciate it that you saved me some time tonight when I’m tired. I understand a little more about Goat Soap without having to do the leg work :-)

          • AFGHANI says:

            OK I am JFA’ing myself to clarify and say that I don’t do this to random people all day, I do it for clients who know or should know that someone is going through their dirty laundry, legally speaking. Like if you own a company and are drawing down your credit and selling assets to transfer to someone else or to pay off something an exempt asset, then doing BK with the company… then I will be in your laundry. I don’t do this on RBD anymore (don’t have time) and have even mostly stayed out of the MckMama drama, even as she did a Cash for Deed transaction, despite the fact the Trustee in her BK case has opened an adversarial case against her and her estranged husand…

      • bitchface says:

        omg I love tuna melts…..

      • Pearipathetic Donkey says:

        I don’t think the show has hindered her employment prospects anymore than anything else she has done over the years. She will get something that spin into something respectable on her resume. She turn eight blog posts on Elle.com into contributing writer for Elle magazine. The spin is strong with this one.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          She isn’t stupid enough to actually tell anyone in publishing that she was a contributing writer for ELLE on the basis of eight probably unpaid web columns. That’s on her Facebook for the masses.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            What the fuck am I saying? She may well be just that stupid. But magazine publishing is a small world and anyone she tries to sell that to will know better.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            She’s definitely that stupid. I can totally see this happening. Part of the Donkey M.O. Fake it til you make it with a dollop of The Secret on top.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            The thing is that she doesn’t “make it” but she keeps on faking it. Remember that she totally squandered the TV break by not having anything to promote but herself, doing a crappy job with her undeserved ELLE gig and burning those bridges.

            All she got out of this was a few months’ free rent and her payday of $20,000 or whatever it was. That’s not much for a year’s work. And of course, last year her column, another undeserved opportunity that she fucked up with her laziness and stupidity, netted her $100/week or whatever instead of becoming established and/or becoming a stepping stone to better-paying writing gigs.

          • AFGHANI says:

            Albie, I agree with your analysis and I would never want to put myself through want Donkey has done the past year. However, for the right person, a $150/week column (or whatever) could be a great investment and opportunity. The column should’ve never been seen as a “career” in and of itself, it should’ve been used to open up doors to other legitimate opportunities. Same with this dumb TV show — she should’ve done a ton of work prior to/during/after the TV show and then used the filming and promotion of the TV show as a free commercial for something else she had going on.

            What I want to know is– she has an agent/manager? really? Why don’t they either drill this thinking into her skull or else drop her? Entertainment must be quite a bit different than the real world.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Exactly, Afghani! I know so many people who would and could have parlayed that column into lots of other writing gigs and maybe a book deal.

            She seemed to value it mostly as a way to meet guys and logroll her acquaintances’ tech companies. She is so stupid and lazy.

        • Peltergeist says:

          While she most certainly is that stupid, she has to have the worst reputation in all NYC media by now. People have been moving around a lot the past couple of years and I think it would be impossible for her to find a magazine, website, or newspaper that didn’t have at least one person who hates her.

          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            Indeed! Reputable folks in L.A. media and NYC publishing hear Donkey’s name, roll their eyes, and laugh. No one with any clout will hire her at this point.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Unfortunately, they DO keep giving her opportunity after squandered opportunity. Somehow, she always seems to land on her hooves. Not through hard work or talent, though.

          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            But the opportunities are getting fewer and fewer. Crawling back to Chicago with her tail between her legs and managing to fuck up a job at the Trib that her daddy had finagled. And her name is synonymous with unprofessional and nutcase in L.A. Word is out, and yes, Jackles can probably hustle a few more jobs but the circle is shrinking and folks know to stay away.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            But she still gets to put “internationally syndicated columnist at the Tribune” on her resume.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            And nobody questions or looks into it.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Well, she really was an internationally syndicated columnist for Tribune Media Services.

            It’s just that nobody wanted her terrible column so it wound up earning her $100 a week. Until they canceled it.

            So, yeah, she gets undeserved opportunities, but she always pisses them away with her hideous work ethic. She is lucky she doesn’t have to pay her own bills in that respect!

          • EyeRoller says:

            How bout switching up those free, plagiarized vista.com business cards that read RELATIONSHIP EXPERT for a more accurate branding. How ’bout–

            DONKEY FOR HIRE:
            Expert Opportunity Squanderer, Professional
            Nth Chance Waster, and America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Can you imagine her having to live a low income, domestic life? Washing his dirty whites?

        Oh, it gets better: … first, D0nkey has to make the soap!

        Devin Stetler ‏@devinstetler
        I Booked ‘The First Rule of Soap Making Is…’ on Lifecrowd! Join me! http://www.lifecrowd.com/activity/the-first-rule-of-soap-making-is?rc=10003&c=CROWD20REF … via @lifecrowder

        Devin S. Elite Crowder Dec 01, 2011
        Activity: The First Rule of Soap Making Is…
        Quayum was very knowledgable, friendly, fun, and most of all patient! I had a great time learning how soap is formed, colored, and scented. He was patient while we experiemented [SIC] and we even made some bonus stuff like bath salt and ‘petal soaps’. I went home with a bag full of soap and goodies which was really cool. It would be cool to do another session with goat’s milk and shea butter bases in addition to the glycerin.
        [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/2rwkm1c.png[/img]
        TinyPic is all but laughing IN Donkey’s face …
        CAPTCHA = live your dream

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Oh, you are killing me here.

          HEY ANOTHER POINT OF COMPATIBILITY! He is throwing douchey pseudo-gang signs!

        • Fauxto Shoot me Now says:

          Yes, but were they monogrammed?

        • Donkarena says:

          Oh, this is getting better by the hour….

        • JFA says:

          What in the holy fuck. Jesus I know this is nitpicky but…dude goes to soap making meetups? Okay then.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I think that’s kind of fun, and certainly a reasonable way to meet laydeez when you’re new in town.

          • Lilly Liberation Front says:

            I think it’s kind of cute that a guy would be into that! I just got into making my own soap, scrubs, etc. I thought they wouldn’t turn out to be usable, but they’re awesome! And you don’t get all the strange chemicals and preservatives that way.

          • JFA says:

            To each her own. I just…personally would not be interested in a guy who goes to soap making events, of all the things available in a big city to do. That’s just me. Also how new in town is this dude? I didn’t massively google him but I did see crap he had on meetup or whatever looking to get out there. Nothing wrong that that, however, he could be lonely, and that partially explains wanting to date a lunatic.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Yeah, I’ve google homemade soap recipes & will probably get around to making my own at some point …

            I can appreciate that Little Dude puts himself out there to meet a caliber of people other than what you find in a club scene, & that he is frugal — THAT’s just it — he’s seemingly nothing that D0nkey demands of a wallet & face it, NO one is buying for one minute that she has changed (or that he owns a wallet that doesn’t include a Velcro closure).

          • Malformed Face says:

            I’m with JFA, I’m all for learning but perhaps a craft beer meetup… and not a shea butter meetup…

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            I’m with Albie: I think it’s cute and admire his lack of fucks to give about what others may think of him. ANY guy is too good for Donk, but this one especially. Sure beats the usual crowd of egomaniacs she rolls with.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Probably watercress meetups, too

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            @Queen Neferteeri: that’s what I was thinking!

        • Greg says:

          He made bath salts! There’s his income stream!

          • Malformed Face says:

            May I propose Codename Goat Soap?

          • Helena (Never Dated a Normal Person) says:

            Or Goats Head Soap, for added Satanism. EXTRA!

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            OK, Codename Goat Soap is really funny.

          • Pearipathetic Donkey says:

            Just waiting for someone to take a screen shot of his etsy store. This also explain her sudden interest in an all natural deodorant.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Spraytan Goat Soap is doing it for me. You can be all British and just call him by his last name, “Goat Soap” or be folksy and call him “Spraytan” but they both work.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/2q2q0qg.png[/img]
            CAPTCHA slayed me w/: “fowl play

      • Badonkeydonk says:

        Isn’t this about the time for A Donkey to start shopping her memoir? “Writing a book” and living off the “advance” sounds a grifty new way to do very little while pretending to work. And bonus: More missed deadlines and “writer’s block.”

        • Pearipathetic Donkey says:

          I said this before: she is going to try to get a huge advance and schedule an international book tour before she ever writes a single word.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          If she can get a proposal done (by Andrea “Cashmere” Dunlop, let’s be serious) and actually get an agent for it and actually sell the thing, any advance she’d get is going to be peanuts. At best (and I would plotz forever if this happened) the same kind of payday as for the tv show.

          But she will never get the proposal done, because she is lazy and stupid.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Also, some grifter will sell her on how traditional publishing is dead, new paradigm, blah blah, so if she does by some miracle complete a few thousand words of writing, she’ll self-publish with all the dash and élan and business acumen she brought to NonSociety. And her book will be a NonSeller.

          • AFGHANI says:

            wait, why did you call Andrea Dunlop “cashmere”… I feel like I’m missing something good.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Her novel has long descriptions of fancy sweaters in it!

  16. LEFOOLIEH says:

    OT, but clicked to the photo either before or after this and it was Britt and donkey on a boat for momsers bday… and Prom King was tagged in it. Weird. Why would he be there? Maybe he rented the boat to them? Also, didn’t BrittnAllie supposedly arrange all that (causing a donk to deem them show-offs)? You know if donk had any hand in that whatsoever, and ESPECIALLY if it was made possible by the ex who “left the door open”, there is zero chance she wouldn’t be all over bragging nonstop about it. There is simply no way she would allow family favorite Britt and tiny n’ cute wife Allie to take the credit for something she made happen.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Silly! D0nkey & Prop Thing share a love of fancy boats! He took D0nkey & her cock-blocking friends on his parents biggo boat, remember? Those are his memories too!

      • Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

        Carpe Diem is the name of PK’s family owned boat in St. Bart’s. Asbestos litigation pays big dividends.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I saw that too and had no idea why — I thought she was wearing his sweatshirt or something. Who fucking knows with this loon.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      They’re still in each others’ lives as photo-tagging people, haterz.

  17. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    and continuing to wear jeans that are too motherfucking tight.

  18. dmee says:

    i’m sort of new here and have but 1 question. tis a serious question so please don’t just shrug this off.

    after having read here for the past 2 months, i’d simply like to ask the following:

    WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH JULIA? seriously? does her short-to-long term memory JUST NOT EXIST? what a tard!

    • iblow4shoes says:

      I think she has either a severe personality disorder or is slightly mentally handicapped.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      It’s a question for the ages, and why this blog exists. She lies and distorts all the time, and pretends she didn’t do and say things she said she did and said, publicly, for thousands to read and see. Weirdest chick ever.

    • Donkarena says:

      dmee — welcome to the basement. Come sit down by me….and thank you for the validation that this chick truly is a no-talent, lazy, maniuplative, shameless fame whore. Somewhat normal, intelligent people are put off by these types. Again, welcome — that icky feeling you get when you watch her is REAL. It’s not YOU, and it’s not your TV. It’s HER.

    • JFA says:

      SHe’s a sociopath. That answers most questions about her. And that is not an exaggeration. I have no doubt whatsoever she is one.

    • EyeRoller says:

      Don’t fret. You are not the crazy one. Hang in there, it gets better. For us of course, not for her. For her this all a hot air balloon ride through a hall of fun house mirrors in a larger than life kaleidoscopic milkshake.

    • Helena (Never Dated a Normal Person) says:

      “A Matter of Identity.” That’s the title of the chapter in Oliver Sacks’ “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat” that I semi-coherently brought up yesterday. I couldn’t remember the title.

      “He remembered nothing for more than a few seconds. He was continually disoriented. Abysses of amnesia continually opened beneath him, but he would bridge them, nimbly, by fluent confabulations and fictions of all kinds. For him they were not fictions, but how he suddenly saw, or interpreted, the world. Its radical flux and incoherence could not be tolerated, acknowledged, for an instant—there was, instead, this strange, delirious, quasi-coherence, as Mr Thompson, with his ceaseless, unconscious, quick-fire inventions, continually improvised a world around him. . . .”

      The again, Mr. Thompson had Korsakov’s syndrome.

      • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

        This is crushing to really consider.

        • Helena (Never Dated a Normal Person) says:

          No kidding.

          You’ve read it, I’m sure? There are several chapters of the book that have sort of haunted me ever since I first read them (maybe a decade ago). This one, the one about “The Lost Mariner,” and “The Twins” in particular.

          • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

            I read it years ago; I barely remember the details at all. Extreme facial blindness; the amnesia described above — but other than that I’ve forgotten it. Maybe I should re-read?

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      welcome, and congratulations! i love it when noobs crack and GET IT.

    • Badonkeydonk says:

      Ask not for whom the Donkey brays.

  19. LEFOOLIEH says:

    “Julia has an extraordinary ability to transform herself when she moves from one stage of life to another…. She literally forgets anything that is inconsistent with the person she is trying to become at that moment in time. It’s a little sad, I have to be the custodian of her memories.”
    – donkey ex who may have been the first mental/emotional wounding experience when he dumped her right before – you guessed it – PROOOMMMMM!

    Also: married, the plural of anecdote is not data, etc. etc.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      meant as a reply to dmee – um, er, (bpc p)oops?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Team Dan forever.

      OMG, maybe if she does lure Spraytan McDrama to Chicago, she and he and Dan and Wife of Dan could go on a double date? The amount of shade being thrown at that encounter would probably wipe out crop production in all of Illinois and most of Indiana.

      I would pay money to see Dan take on Spraytan’s love of Tony Robbins!

  20. KashMoney says:

    in all seriousness, it appears she really has changed in that “being a wallet” is obviously not her primary consideration any longer with a dude.

    however, the Iron Law of Donkology states that she is incapable of growth (except physically). therefore, I’m willing to bet that he’s trust fund or the like.

    • bitchface says:

      she probably has a super-user account at Intelius

    • Albie Quirky says:

      He is not trust fund. Oh, my heavens, is he ever not trust fund.

      His family may well be lovely people. They probably are. Or at least most of them. But there are several easily Googleable things about his family’s experiences that will send the Baugher parents’ snob alerts into Code Plaid.

      • Learned Paw says:

        Code plaid! Dying!!!

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        Albie, for greg’s sake, put that Nancy Drew sleuthing to good use and SPILL!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          No, it would be wrong, because his family shouldn’t be on the spot just because their son/brother/grandson is dipping his wick in a dipshit.

          Anyway, y’all have the same Google I do. I didn’t use any secret sources or even Intelius or Nexis.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Okay, here’s a family thing that is really cool in my opinion, that I can’t imagine any sane person thinking is anything worse than “neutral”, but that I am sure will send the Baugher parents’ snob-dar into full-on alarm mode: Spraytan’s brother is training to compete in UFC events.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Initial “A”? Who’s 10-11 years older?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Yes! Which, um, do the math on that.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Said math is something else that the Baughers are GUARANTEED to be dicks about.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Right after I google UFC … durrr! But srsly.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Whoops, sorry! Ultimate Fighting Championship, which people like the Baughers generally dismiss as a redneck thing or similar. It is actually a demanding sport and the athletes are really dedicated.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Ah, I guess there’s another initial “A” relative, (same name!) (maybe an uncle?) who is showing up as “__” related to “_”, unless the parents hooked up at 14 …

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Pssstttt, D0nkey!!! You tell Dafd$er that
            UFC = Urban Forestry Commission, m’kai?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            The “A” who is 42 is his brother.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Jesus!

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Albie! So that IS the brother? Did you notice all the Jesus-freak-ness? And are we SURE it’s his brother, and not one of the rentals younger brothers? Because the math — it is startling!

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Absolutely is the brother. The parents had no siblings of that name, per their parents’ obituaries, all four of which are online.

            They do seem to like the Jesus in a different style from the Kenilworth United Church. Another opportunity for the Baughers to snoot it up!

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I mean, it is sweet that the parents are still married and have been together since high school, seriously. That’s impressive.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Oh for braying out loud, Albie! LOL — I thought you were telling me that there was too big a diff in age between bros (being the youngest of a big litter, the span didn’t really strike me as odd).

            I imagine Mom$er & Dad$er will put on a brave front if it means a chance to pass on the reins.

            My in-laws were 14 & 15 when they married & were together until the day he died an old man, & same w/ neighbors who were both 14 — it’s very much a ‘small town’ thing among many in that age group — w/ his folks, less so, but more power to ‘em.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            A couple of my best friends from high school became mothers at the same age and grandmothers even earlier than Spraytan’s mum did, so I am seriously not judging. It just seems like the kind of thing the Baugher parents would be arrant dicks about, and tbh I’m kind of amazed/impressed that Julie herself isn’t.

            Modesto and environs were really small-town farmland when they were young, so their being teen parents doesn’t seem surprising (Spraytan’s dad went to high school in Escalon, which is like Green Acres even today).

            I mean, I assume they were teen parents, and of course I might be miles off about that. Perhaps brother A was adopted as an older child? They were married by 1976, per her dad’s obituary, though, so hurray to them for being married all these years. They look cute together.

          • Peltsy says:

            Umm, all of this family stalking is a littttle creepy.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I will totally cop to “creepy” on this.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Albie, have you come across the image of a woman w/ the same last name who is a wringer / ringer / reenger for Mom$er?

        I won’t name her; hell, I can’t even bring myself to see it out & determine if D0nkey is blowing a relative, but it’s … FREAKY!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          His mum’s first initial is “J”—is that the same lady you turned up? I didn’t think she looked that much like Momsers, except being a brunette white lady of the same age who shops at Chico’s. Mama Drama seemed from the photos I saw to be a bit chubbier than Robin. Both California girls, though!

          His dad has a full head of hair, though. Which I guess doesn’t matter because male pattern baldness is matrilineal. Dad looks like a young Harry Dean Stanton to me.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Wait, I take “Harry Dean Stanton” back. Dad has recently chubbed up as well and now has a classic Old Guy Grampa-stache. They’re cute Modesto grandparent types!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Oh wow, yeah, Mom was easy to find & whoa, did or did not D0nkey JUST slam her humble profession before millions of viewers?

            This is gonna be fun, alright …

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Nope, NOT a “J”!
          *cough cough* “B” *cough cough*
          Damn cat hair!

          • Albie Quirky says:

            No, “J” is definitely his mum.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            OMG, “B” Stetler does look exactly like Robin! She’s not his mum, or his aunt. Maybe his dad’s cousin, though.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Actually, doubt that Robin’s twin is a relative, because Dad hasn’t friended her on Facebook.

            WHY AM I SO SICK? Seriously, this is fucked up of me to feel I need to know this stuff. I am getting up from the computer and taking a Gregdamn walk in the out of doors and cutting this shit out.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            It’s just to frigging easy to piece together in-between running errands from the home desk w/ little or no real effort.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            I love reading the Nancy Drew clues…!

  21. JFA says:

    He’s okay, not my type but sorry, he looks like a tremendous tool. I know that’s mean but there you. Nice white suit Don Johnson.

  22. bitchface says:

    I’m sure someone brought it up already, but she “liked” her own status of “in a relationship” yesterday (much like all her “favorited” tweets are all her own -WHO DOES THAT?)

    seriously Julia? lather, rinse, repeat

    pathetic Julia is pathetic

  23. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    As Jacy pointed out in the last comment stream and in this post, Miss Albertson still does not seem to get it.

    Bravo show, done. ELLE column, done. Boyfriend, found. Regardless of what anyone thinks of the content, character(s), or the means, one true thing is that she’s accomplished these goals as intended. So congratulations! And now she says she is writing a book as well as running a branding business or being a social media consultant or whatever.

    So why not get the hell off line, write the book, and concentrate on building the business? But no. Same old, same old. Overshare, flit around to one destination after another for no real purpose beyond self-indulgence, overshare some more. Is it so impossible to cap the geyser? Chill with the self-congratulatory FB status updates, humblebrag tweets, fauxto shoots, and related online vanity projects. CHILL.

    This narcissistic mania trips her up every time; yet as Jacy so rightly points out, it’s that very mania that is the one thing she refuses to ever question or “evolve herself” beyond. When it backfires, it’s the internet’s fault, or the editors; the responsibility is never hers, someone else has got it wrong. (Interesting in that branding interview she states that the key to successful image management is to set specific goals. She claims she has been wildly successful in directing the outcome of how she is portrayed by going into interviews etc. with specific intentions: I want them to think I am intelligent, funny, relatable, etc. She claims this has been wildly successful. Viewers of her appearance on WWHL might be forgiven for thinking otherwise.)

    One might have thought that being released from the pressures of the excruciating Bravo series and demanding ELLE column would be the perfect opportunity to embark on a whole new approach; to really focus on enjoying life and love, to work on building a business. And one would be wrong.

    Of the many issues I have with this creature, number one is the blatant misrepresentation and selective or complete lack of disclosure that has seduced naive women into joining her cheerleading squad. Associated with that is my incredulity/frustration re: the open-eyed enablers/employers. But I certainly wish no one harm in this world and if things work out nicely for Miss Baugher with her new relationship, all hail and well met.

    However, in my perhaps limited understanding, true happiness or longevity in this instance would entail deliberately stepping out of what ultimately becomes a very unflattering limelight.

    So ya. Not likely to happen.

    And it will somehow be someone else’s fault, not hers.

    And nothing changes.

    • bitchface says:

      why are you being so reasonable? it’s worrisome

    • Welcome to Freedom says:

      nothing changes because she is a narcissist. she doesn’t think she is wrong. ever. it is not a realistic possibility in her mind that she is really doing anything wrong or needs to actually change anything.
      anything that might be slightly wrong is only wrong because people are misinterpreting her, and just don’t understand. not because she could possibly be actually wrong.

      i work with one
      it’s not worth arguing

  24. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    That guy really loves his tan and he seems vain enough to hang around her. He’ll dump her if/when he doesn’t get his reality t.v. shot.

    • Malformed Face says:

      That’s what I think too. Donkey thinks they’ll get married and she can be a Real Housewife of BH. The delusion is strong with this one. Between his Tony Robbins love, blinding white shiny suit and staged GQ fauxto shoots, he thinks Donkey is his hookup to Hollywood fame.

      • Can you imagine Lisa reacting to a Donkey braying and flailing in her all white living room during tea time?

        Or Kyle Richards? She would eat that Donkey alive. Pam (forget her actual name, but Kim, Kristin Wiig character, called her Pam) would probably be nice to her and talk about traveling together, but then would trash her behind her back to Kim and Kyle.

  25. Queen Neferteeri says:

    Good fucking grief! Those jeans are so tight they actually make her look bigger. She won’t wear the right size because that would mean no longer being able to bray about wearing a size in the single digits!

  26. Pelts Aplenty says:

    OMG! I’ve been in the wilds of Canada and have just returned to sort-of civilization, and am just getting all of this news! I have to head back into the wilderness later today but first I gotta catch up on all this RBD goodness!
    I did not see the final episode…not sure if I should watch it when I get home or just read the ineffable live blog and comments. Did this new dude show up on the finale?
    So much to catch up on! Have missed you catladies and gents!
    Bisous!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      She met him after the show had finished filming. But then UNVEILED HIM via Twitter as soon as the show wrapped up. Read the live blog and spare yourself the torture of having to watch the show — it’s all there, including the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      The final episode was unbelievably boring, and DAVID RUBIN outraged us all by being a megadouche. Definitely skip it and just read the liveblog here and the recaps at TVgasm and The Frisky.

    • Pelts Aplenty says:

      thanks, les chats! sounds like i should skip the dvr recording and just read the blog. still haven’t had time. i was running around today buying a new axe and some spark plugs for my dad’s outboard motor from 1985. yep, i am in northern Ontario!

  27. Braying Jenny says:

    Okay, forgive, but…maybe it’s just the metro vibe, maybe it’s that smile or the tan, maybe it’s just something about the body language, but my inner ragebeast is whispering, “Gay.” Now, I don’t know that, obviously. And I don’t wish that, even on her, because it is devastating when someone you love turns out to be living that much of a lie (Be who you are, but don’t tie up my heart while you’re doing it please). I have had that happen to me and it was truly awful. But…I dunno.

    He certainly is cute in a sort of a way, I guess, and she seems happy, so… whatevs. I wish the best for the peltmistress, and if this dude’s it and he’s happy enough about it, then mazeltov and bring on the pretty pink princess wedding.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I won’t deny my gaydar also pinged way back when she posted the first coffee bar photo of him. But apparently he meets the “sexually delicious!” requirement on her checklist so I’m assuming all’s well on the hetero front.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Was this the same much skinnier-looking dude who was in the coffee shop?

        If so, wow. I never would have thought this was the same person for some reason.

    • lizzieborden says:

      My thoughts exactly…Julia a beard? hmmm

      • flatface says:

        I’m with you. This guy has more than just limited watercress experience. He knows his way around watercress, if you catch my drift.

        • Handbag Stuffed With Hair says:

          His time with watercress was EXTRA.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Then you won’t be surprised to learn:

          Little Dude is a card-carrying member of the MO COMMUNITY, where members of the stachecrowd ‘Grow, show and connect with fellow Mo’s’.

          (I think it’s just a frat thang, but it made me laugh)

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:
          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            McSpraytan is the kind of douche I would have loathed back in college. Well, and probably now too.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I thought it was sad that nobody gave him money for his mo-stache. Not even his fellow Sigma Nu (Kappa Gamma chapter!) bros.

            Note: He has his fraternity listed on his LinkedIn. Oh yeahhhhhhhhhh.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Albie, it seems like Greasy also has a frat bro fundraiser page of $0 … D0nkey sure can pick ‘em, eh, these dudes who don’t put any effort into helping others.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

            Well, he may not have been helping others before, but if he lasts until February, I’m sure he will be hosting a huge event to benefit Komen.

    • JFA says:

      I didn’t want to say it. Thank you for doing so. He reeks of gay.

      • JFA says:

        And I don’t mean that as an insult. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that” etc. He just…seems gay to me. Muchly.

      • Malformed Face says:

        Check him in the Checklist video. The sweater tied around his neck gave me pause.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Just said the same below. I’m definitely getting a gay vibe from this guy.

  28. Ummm... says:

    1. I don’t think this guy is even remotely attractive. However, I don’t think any of the guys she dates are so maybe we just have different tastes or he photographs poorly (which sucks for her because he will have pose lots of pictures).
    2. She has to post pictures of their relationship because after that reality show completely humiliated her this shows that she is less pathetic…except it really doesn’t.
    3. If this guy is willing to date her after she made a complete fool of herself, knows about that ridiculous checklist, her second date BJ confession, and her rape kisses against her dates…then they deserve each other. Maybe he likes being forcibly kissed, to sleep under piles of tulle, and to hold small dogs.
    4. All of the pictures look fake like she pasted him in after the fact. Maybe it’s because of her weird pose.

  29. ShesJustStupid says:

    Also…buy bigger jeans and fucking pull your shirt down! What kind of “look” is that?

    • bitchface says:

      um how dare you! her idol wears the *exact* same outfit!
      [img]http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2012/08/31/4/192/1922398/a3306ec4f2e8aa9c_149701070.preview/i/Kate-Middleton-Prince-William-Hugging-Olympics.jpg[/img]

  30. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Confirmation that one or more of the dinner guests are actors:
    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/1z148kj.png[/img]
    Looks like Flusher Price aka JP co-opted yet another RBD nick (Julia Goulia)

    Interesting IMDb tidbit about dinner guest ~slash~ actress Meg Cionni:
    ‘… She attended Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana …’
    Maybe she’ll join the basement & spill the beans, once Big Julia backstabs Little Julia.

  31. Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

    Stuffing hands in your pockets is a movement of deceit — you’re hiding something. A person may be telling you one thing, but this cue indicates you’re not getting the whole story.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Then they are perfect for each other.

      And what could he be hiding? Perhaps he has his own ‘Raul’ tucked away in a downtown condo. Just what she’s always wanted: someone just like Dad$ers.

  32. Fauxto Shoot Me Now says:

    I’m gonna get rung more than Mario Batalia’s dinner bell for the next 3-6 months!

  33. Cowboys & Brayliens says:

    Dude lives downtown? It’ll never last. No way– after driving an hour each way just to listen to braying, forget it.

  34. Floppy says:

    She looked happier with that Tim Sykes guy. These look so forced, even for Julia. She’s really trying to settle for him, for now, she doesn’t look all that happy. Something tells me he might actually be the controlling type, something seems off.

    My guess is she’ll have a breakdown and dump him because she can’t get past the fact he’s not some American tech royalty famous person with an omg sexy start up. Fame grifter Devin will be relieved to let go of Norma Donksmond and go back to being “normal” person but less likely to post fauxto shoot pics anywhere because he’s slightly embarrassed to have stooped so low for a bit of fame with her…or that he didn’t get sufficient exposure for his labor.

    It will take one trip to San Jose or running into Randi HeeHaw Zuckerberg to be reminded of all those skittish founder nerds she needs to get her claws into so desperately and start all over again with the wallet chasing.

    Though for once I think this guy is capable of leaving us with some Donkisms, “I was inside her”, “we were serious, we talked about season 2″ and “the photoshoots we shared”.

  35. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    In those photos, at least to me, they look happy.

    But we know she is a sociopath. And we know he is a grifter.

    So who knows.

    Only thing we know is this will be fun to watch, as usual.

  36. EyeRoller says:

    It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a DOUBLE CHEESEburger with a side of WHORE!!!

    Now I’m dizzy. And hungry.

  37. Lady Donk Donk says:

    He looks stupid. I mean – he looks like he is a stupid person. What I mean is – look at him. Imagine smart things. Have eer the twain met???

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      Donkey has a long-running, very active hate site devoted exclusively to her. She was on a tv reality program in which she looked stupid, desperate, and loony-tunes. So, if I’m New Guy to Donkey World, I’d think something must be off about her – or if not, at least high-risk.

      If he watched it with her, as she claims, then you can do the math on what his mental capacity must be.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        He makes soap and sniffs for watercress truffles. Of course, he’d sit through Mess Despised and probably cries every time TeleDonkey sheds a tear.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        If he watched it with her, as she claims, then you can do the math on what his mental capacity must be.

        If he’s willingly been with her for more than 1 date, we know how low his mental capacity is.

  38. Princess WideStance says:

    This guy is giving me serious Johnny Drama vibes – in both the looks and brains departments. Bleh. Not impressed.

  39. EyeRoller says:

    I see what she’s going for. New Man looks like Bill Rancic, the businessman from Chicago married to E!’s Giuliana (formerly) Depandi, but younger, gayer, and much more gullible.

    Donkbrain WISHES she was a Rancic.

  40. Dr. Gary says:

    jane seymour ‏@prancingpink
    @JuliaAllison @ELLEmagazine so it was coincidence that Elle asked you for exactly 8 columns?

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
    @prancingpink – no – I asked THEM for 8 columns! I wanted it to coordinate. :-)

    Yeah right. I want someone from Elle to come in here and give us the real story.

    • EyeRoller says:

      I did give you the real story. I rewrote the whole thing and posted in last night’s section here, within an hour of her posting her version. She’s a dick.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      All right, I admit it. I, Dread Lilith, Queen of the Night, did hear the pleas of Julia Allison and did, in exchange for the soul of her little dog, grant her eight appearances in a major–oh, you said ELLE.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Not even ELLE. (Which actually pays pretty wELLE.) ELLE.com. Buried in the no1curr section.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Yes, I got my “dream job” writing for Elle magazine (cough, elle.com) but I only wanted it to last for the 8 weeks my reality shitshow ran on TV. Of course I didn’t want it to last beyond that or turn into a steady paying gig!!! No, not me, Juliar Allison, who must be free, physically and emotionally free to travel pointlessly and suddenly and escape the clutches of any discommoding writer’s block. It was all my idea for it to work out that way, bunnies, and don’t you forget it.

      • cola champagne says:

        Her book should be “8 Weeks to Never Lasting: How I ‘Blow’ it Each Time”

        • Princess WideStance says:

          Heehee. Blow.

          I still cannot fucking get over that. Admitting to giving a blow job on the second date on national tv. I don’t care how much “pressure” she was under – holy bejeezus was that a stupid and classless thing to do.

          She was basically tap-dancing her way through that whole thing, saying “hey world, aren’t I kooky and funny and crazy?? Haha? Adore me plz?” And the world said, “Meh.”

          • cola champagne says:

            I think it’s also the term. He’s a man you are dating, can you not say that you fooled around? I want to know why Skinny Julia would ask that pointed question? That’s very specific. I know I know it’s rehearsed, but “blow job” is a term I’ve always associated with hookers, maybe because the word “job” is in it. Usually, you hear “oral” or “fool around” but “blow job” for a television show? That you can cut and reshoot? They wanted to humiliate her, and she’s so desperate she let it happen.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Toilet asked “Did you go down on him?” actually.

          • cola champagne says:

            That’s what I am saying. She asked that question so specifically, like she knew the answer (which could be that they rehearsed it or whatever). But even she said “go down” not “blow job.” I don’t know maybe it’s just my personal quirk, but I always associate that term with hooker-speak.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Oh, I definitely am with you on thinking “blow job” is much crasser than “go down” or “oral”. Also, the way she brayed it was just icky.

          • cola champagne says:

            I think she thinks it makes her look edgy but it doesn’t. It doesn’t seem to coincide with the way a person who is educated and is being filmed on a television show should speak. She uses all these ridiculous words for her articles, but when it comes to basic conversation, she seems to lack the ability to find proper terms. I mean, she’s not Tamra Barney. Tamra is vulgar and people love or hate her for it, but she calls a bitch out. Julia is phony and always putting up this persona but when she has to perform, she fails at the most basic things, like being articulate.

          • EyeRoller says:

            It’s like she couldn’t decide whether to be “Meg Ryan” Julia or “Katie Price” Julia. She ended up falling on her face in the muddy middle. I have nothing against people talking about dick sucking, but don’t turn around and act like you never did it. Geezus honey just pick a character and COMMIT.

          • Helena (Never Dated a Normal Person) says:

            Picking a character is something she’s never been capable of, for two closely intertwined reason: 1) she wants it ALL, FOR ALL THE GIRLS, and would hate to miss any way to be admired and envied (wildly successful businesswoman, new media tech girl, writer, sexpot, beautiful pink princess, model and muse, Stepford wife, adorkable klutz, etc. etc. ad vom) and 2) she’s very very stupid. She knows very little about how the world and people in it function.

            She doesn’t see that, for example, serious business ladies and klassy intellekshuls who spend hours talking about architecture and maps DO NOT also spend hours frantically explaining their (imaginary) love life to randoms on Twitter.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        The bullshit never stops.

        • Can-Swiss says:

          Yes, she’s worried her career isn’t where she wants it to be, worried about money, she requested that her ELLE job be limited to 8 pieces. That makes sense.

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            Now that she’s fully unemployed, I wonder how long it will take him to realize she’s a lazy, unhireable sack of turds?

    • Donkarena says:

      But, Julia, you didn’t write SHIT ABOUT THE SHOW!! Certainly not 8 columns’ worth!

    • mcakez says:

      Her ability to predict – way back in October – that her series would air only eight weeks, despite filming for six months, is some mond-baughering shit. Move over love psychic, Julia is the true untuit here.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        The producers would have known how many episodes, and spelled it out in her contract. That bit isn’t a lie.

        • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

          Oh, you might be right. At the same time, I thought ’13 episodes’ was being tossed around as a number at some point, which is part of why we all cackled when it was revealed to be eight. I just imagined that after six months TPTB realized they’d be hard pressed to get even close to 13 ‘hours’ of interesting show out of it, and dropped it down to eight.

          I, of course, admit to knowing fuck-all about season length, especially for reality shows, first season ones in particular. It just seems like a REALLY short season, and I thought we all laughed about that at one point in time.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I definitely expected it to be 13 episodes! But Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys was also 8, and my friend who was on that knew it was going to be 8 from the contract.

            But maybe that’s a coincidence, and I shouldn’t extrapolate that Julie knew the same for MA.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          eh, julie also thought this would be airing in the fall, not summer. speaking of which, what happened to the youtube show and accompanying interns?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I’m going to forever be wondering if Keith Pollock’s departure from elle.com was in any way tied to the fiassco known as Julia Allison’s more-than-seven-weeks+ stint as a syndicated guest blogger …

        This bit about not writing until the show airs just doesn’t pass the smell test, & of course a lying d0nkey would lie & throw him under the bus to cover her own raftass regarding obligations she wasn’t living up to …

        I wish he’d come on here & spill it!

        • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

          Right? How weird and embarrassing must it be for him to be portrayed on the shitshow when ultimately he had NOTHING to do with what she ultimately wrote and published months later?

          His ‘bitch please’ faces were worth it, for us. I only hope they brought him some satisfaction as well.

  41. EyeRoller says:

    I demand to know how they perfected Hawaiian lighting inside the local Marina Del Rey JC Penney portrait studio.

  42. Peltergeist says:

    There’s always more to the story with her, but if things really are as she says I think it’s down to the simple fact that she hasn’t dated a “regular” guy. She always insisted on having someone who was good on paper and ignoring everything else about the person. A more normal person who doesn’t even care much about the internet might get a huge kick out of someone like her (until she went insane, that is).

  43. [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/hegemonster/donkey-diving.jpg[/img]

    Such a BADASS, but he didn’t like the comment. Snub?

    • Pearipathetic Donkey says:

      She better beat him into submission! Nobody ignores Donkey!

    • Norse Horse says:

      It really isn’t that badass to skydive when you’re strapped to an instructor doing all the work. The one and only and last time I sky-dived/dove, we had to climb out, hang from the strut of the plane, solo, let go when we got the signal. A line pulled the chute out, but we had to steer, with instructions from a radio on the arm, and land, you were on your own. It was scary and fun and I’m glad I did it but I’ll never do it again. Having an instructor taking you for a ride is fine, but not really that badass at all.

      • Floppy says:

        I had to throw my own chute after sitting in a classroom most of the day learning about the million ways you can die during your jump. Tadems are just for funsies.

  44. ShesJustStupid says:

    Very active shilling for herself…

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 50m
    Wednesday Hump Day Links! Heard about my 73-Point Checklist? Now hear my roommate @JuliaPriceMusic sing it to me! youtube.com/watch?v=oDgUhN…
    View details ·

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 51m
    Wednesday Hump Day Links! Entrepreneurs looking to bolster your personal brand? Read my @Inc interview here: inc.com/jeff-haden/the…
    View details ·

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 52m
    Wednesday Hump Day Links! Read my final @ELLEmagazine column on love here: elle.com/news/lifestyle…
    View details ·

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 54m
    Wednesday Hump Day Links! If you missed any of our @Bravotv show, you can watch the entire season on iTunes: (yay) itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/m…
    View details ·

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      HAPPY HUMP DAY, @JuliaAllison !
      [img]http://www.forkparty.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Bull-Humps-Donkey-Bull-Humps-Statue.jpg[/img]

      • Albie Quirky says:

        This is perfection right here.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Yeah, but sadly, the ‘bull’ D0nkey is full of is just ‘shit’.

      • EyeRoller says:

        It’s her self-produced sex tape. But like a donkey, she’s too lazy to film it herself and too cheap to hire a cameraman. Though, as you can tell from the background, she successfully grifted a photographer from the local newspaper to capture the magic.

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      Oh, honey. If your brand is any indication, we all should stay far away from any branding wisdom you have to offer.

  45. Jungle Area says:

    You guys, I think this is THE ONE.

    He’s actually looking *at* her in every photo and has his arms wrapped around her, *willingly*. All the other guys looked clearly uncomfortable in every photo she has ever posted.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      This very well may be an interesting & enlightening transition to watch — just wait’ll he figures out how badly he’s been manipulated & how seriously his privacy has been breached — he’ll probably wake up one day looking ten years older.

      BRAYFORMANCE ART!

  46. Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

    She’s using this Goober (I can hear her manager screaming, “You better find a boyfriend stat!”). End of story.

    • JFA says:

      I’m with you, as usual. I am not buying this. She HAD to save face massively after looking like a complete and total nutbag desperate man-repelling loser on television. The end.

  47. ShesJustStupid says:

    She really thinks she needs to take time off from that grueling reality TV gig. What’s she doing next?

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 1h
    @jessie_scrunch @prancingpink – Burning Man!! Then a book, most likely. :-)
    View conversation ·

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      “Crayons! Where are my crayons?”

    • JFA says:

      She never stops. She really is in full on manic mode right now. “Maybe a book, maybe my own show, maybe I’ll start my own highly successful company again, maybe I’ll just travel the world and write about it, we will see!” Just stop. you are never. Ever. Writing. A book.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      I know they’ve clearly come to accept her as she is and in fact they enable as bad as anyone, but man her parents must be so ashamed of her. She is an embarrassment to them.

      They are finally through with the nightmare of her television show and now this.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

        You’re probably right, but I’m not sure stage parents ever learn.

  48. The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

    This guy is generically ‘attractive’ but there’s not much sexy about him at all. I’ve dated guys who are ‘uglier’ than him who have much more sexual ooomph than he ever will. Just my opinion.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Yep — sexy is the guy w/ razor-sharp mind & a caustic sense of humor …
      I don’t see any such animal in Little Dude up there.

  49. PinkUberFitnFlareDress says:

    Y’all. Y’ALL. So I had a kitten about two months ago (watched the season premiere of Miss Advised while in labor ((though refused to have my baby actually born with it on so we switched to Pawn Stars instead)) so I haven’t had as much time to read RBD as religiously as before and have only now been catching up on this shitshow. HOLY SHIT.

    Anyway, my mom’s in town and I’ve had Miss Advised on a few times and I had to share her EGREGIOUS HORRIFYING comments with you:

    Upon seeing it for the first time, she commented that JA was “absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I love the color of her red hair.” I died.

    THEN, a few days later we were watching some other shite on TV and she asks, “Isn’t that show with the gorgeous redhead on? Can’t we watch that?” Jesus tits on a dog. Dead.

    So I attempt to explain it all to her with limited success but as we were watching the finale, she did say, “I guess she does seem a little intolerable.”

    I have about 30 posts to catch up on, so I’ll catch you fatties later.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      LOL. And congrats on the kitten!

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      “Jesus tits on a dog.”

      This tells me you’re going to be good mom. Congrats.

      • A Donkey is an Ass says:

        I mean that in all sincerity. Intent is sometimes hard to gauge when reading a comment. Just thought I should clarify.

        • PinkUberFitnFlareDress says:

          It would have never occurred to me to be offended! I can’t take credit for Jesus tits on a dog – got it from Louie, which is truly brilliant television unlike our Miss Advised. Been watching a lot of Archer too.
          Not exactly Sesame Street. PS – I’m writing this from my phone so don’t know if my avatar will be different but it’s still me!

    • EyeRoller says:

      Have fun catching up on posts. And I agree with you; if I had momparts I’d much rather usher new life into the world while staring at the old man’s face from Pawn Stars than staring at Donkey’s face from Yawn Stars. I mean, Miss Advised.

    • solidarity cat says:

      PinkUberFitness!! I had a kitten abt two months ago as well…June 12!
      I hope you are getting a little rest here and there, and congrats!
      #rbdbabyboom

      • PinkUberFitnFlareDress says:

        Congrats to you too! I’m sleeping a little, what about you? (I’m a first time mom so all of it was a complete shock to my system.)

        Middle of the night Miss Advised episodes make me feel more normal . I had never really heard JA’s voice/bray before and actually thought y’all were exaggerating. Nope. I’ll never doubt you again.

  50. ShesJustStupid says:

    This is exactly the kind of guy she SHOULD be dating. She’s been heading this direction with the grifters, etc. we all know she’s not that smart. And with someone like Goat Soap, she doesn’t have to impress anyone. He probably thinks she’s a branding genius woman of tech who is a GREAT writer. He doesn’t have money, but neither does she. He’s a shallow model wannabe…again, right up her alley. She’s finally found her peer to date.

    • AFGHANI says:

      bingo

    • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

      He is poor enough, and comes from a modest background, so he probably is completely dazzled with her ‘connections’ and (appearance of) ‘money’ right now. It really is what she needs — someone who is enough of a hick to be wowed by her famous ‘friends’ and think she leads this really fascinating, wealthy, cosmopolitan lifestyle.

      (Sorry for gratuitous use of ‘quotes’ but they need to be included when discussing the laughable notion of Julia’s fame, friends, and finances.)

  51. ShesJustStupid says:

    Whoa. She just posted a photo of Lily hating on some dog booties and said they were Goat Soap’s idea because “downtown LA is so dirty.”

  52. A Donkey is an Ass says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison

    Wednesday Hump Day Links! And here are all 8 @BravoTV Behind the Scenes blogs –> http://www.bravotv.com/miss-advised/season-1/blogs/julia-allison

    Add “Behind the Scenes” to the list of things Donkey doesn’t understand.

    It’s quite a spin though. Instead her blogging about the episodes, she can just pretend that this is the real story that editing didn’t show. Even though it’s not.

  53. EyeRoller says:

    You can be in lerve with practically with practically any fool for a few months.

    She’s addicted to riding pink clouds, doesn’t matter which Ken Doll smoothie crotch du jour she uses for photo ops, does it?

  54. Jack the Bulldog says:

    Donkey’s been clomping around the city of angels with more than goat soap on a rope! Intrepid Long Island “journalist” Kristin Thorne just paid our burro a visit:

    “Hope I don’t look bleary eyed on TV today. Just took the red eye home from LA. GREAT vacation! Now time to hit the ground running!”

    • CaptainGary says:

      I noticed that the two of them were at the Hollywood Bowl (a place I hold near and dear for reasons I can’t disclose) for the “Pixar in Concert” performance on Friday night. Typically, Donks the Social Media Expert/Enthusiast got some info wrong when she FB’d/Tweeted about it by saying the LA Phil were playing, which they weren’t. It was the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra. You’d think the Donks, with her listening to lots and lots of Bach, would grasp the difference between the LA Phil (a true “philharmonic”) and the HBO, which is more of a pops orchestra. I’m sure she just wanted to see the cartoons, though.

      /rant

  55. EyeRoller says:

    Photo #1: Her arm makes it look like she’s toting around a medicine ball purse wrapped in netting from a Red Lobster display for better “man catchin”.

    Photo #2: Donk in deep trance state aka Typical Love Stage 1 storyline happening here. A perfect metaphor depicts itself in textbook Donksploitation vacay pic mode with all the signs and symbols playing out– A tranquil sea of blue meets a tilted matching skyline as two wannabe grifters locking lying eyes, all the while a thunderheaded Dumpcloud hovers above a pink-leid idiot.

    Photo #3: Man dresses up vacuum cleaner in red wig and pearls. Can’t he get a date?

  56. AFGHANI says:

    OT, but someone over at MckMama Without Pity is stealing my “north facing single paned windows” schtick.

    http://mwopblog.com/2012/08/house-six/#comment-613895094

  57. annab says:

    I feel sorry for the people here who seem to waste an inordinate amount of time and energy criticizing this woman’s life. Don’t you have anything better to do?

    • Grammarian says:

      Oh, hi. You must be new. Did you just happen to stumble on this sight?

    • AFGHANI says:

      A couple of quick 5 min visits on weeknight evenings to check up on a braying lunatic. Yes, clearly I’m fat, poor, and a loser for coming here and sharing some laughs about a braying lunatic.

      • annab says:

        I didn’t say you were fat, poor, or a loser… though I am sorry to hear it. I came across this site (Grammarians should spell better, no?) as a link from another blog about the finale. Reading this post is kind of like watching a trainwreck.

        I was referring more to the people who seem to make commenting on this woman’s every action into a full time job… though I also don’t understand why it’s so entertaining to point out all this woman’s flaws. We’ve all got them.

        I suppose the pointing and laughing must make some people feel better about themselves in the process because it sure isn’t meant to help anyone else. How would you feel if a bunch of people you didn’t know made it such a focus of their life to tell the world you were an asshole and make fun of every thing you said or did? I think it’d be nice if human beings could be a little better than that. Just find it sad.

        Certainly don’t expect anyone here to agree with me, but hope that maybe someone stops to think about why they’re so invested in being hateful.

        • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

          annab — Just consider me the welcoming committee. “fat, slob, loser” is a bit of an inside joke around these parts, as are the words ‘basement’ and ‘catlady.’

          Some of them come from Julia herself. She has, at times, complained that we must be ‘fat, jealous, basement-dwelling catladies,’ losers, and the likes. It is kind of funny when you consider that several people here are in the same circle of friends she herself claims.

          In any case, it is just a running joke. ‘Cheetos’ pops up a lot, too. A way of playing to the stereotype. Should you find yourself hanging around here more, you would find that there are lots of successful career persons (yes, we include men among our numbers), especially journalists, PR, and lawyers.

          As for “How would you feel?” I feel that question is honestly irrelevant. We didn’t make it our mission to be in the public eye constantly, and then get all poopy-pants when people just didn’t like what they saw. Were I making a public spectacle of myself, I’d expect to take the bad with the good. It says something about Julia that 80% of her online press is bad, doesn’t it?

          As for the introspection and ‘why we are here,’ honestly, I answered this question elsewhere, so if you don’t mind me linking again, here is what I said to someone who asked this same question a few days ago.

          Hope you took some time to peek around, and I also this has been enlightening for you!

        • CaptainGary says:

          /TheMoreYouKnow!

          Oh, you’re here to help us! As Marla Singer suggested, “Go candystripe a cancer ward – it’s not my problem.”

        • Grammarian says:

          Cite? Site? Sight?

        • AFGHANI says:

          “How would you feel if a bunch of people you didn’t know made it such a focus of their life to tell the world you were an asshole and make fun of every thing you said or did? ”

          I would at least consider the possibility that these people were on to something. As a matter of fact, posters here can probably vouch that I’ve reconsidered some of my judgments and my general attitude during the 2+ yrs I’ve been posting here.

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      Yes, but picking lice out of my dog’s taint fur gets borrrring after a few hours. :(

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      [img]http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/60/6069/1KYD100Z/posters/charles-barsotti-you-re-the-therapist-you-make-it-go-away-new-yorker-cartoon.jpg[/img]

    • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

      Hi annab, welcome to the basement.

      Just as a suggestion, read the links supplied here (they are below the poll), just to get a sense of Julia Allison outside the TV show you probably have seen.

      There have been many ‘great’ (by which I mean sad and offensive) moments sense then, but that is a nice prep course in some of the things that make people accumulate here.

      A second thing that makes people accumulate here is that there are lots of funny, intelligent, well-read commenters. If you’ve been wondering what to put on your reading list next, there tend to be great recommendations in almost any thread. The people in this here hater basement are very servicey.

      Finally, don’t feel sorry for me, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!! And that is all that matters, right?!

      • annab says:

        Thank you for the suggestion but I’ll skip the reading. I don’t care about this individual one way or another as a specific person. I was more struck by the phenomenon happening here than the actual person on whom you all focus… and it’s disturbing for me that we would treat any human being this way regardless of their faults. That’s all I was commenting on.

        • Donkarena says:

          yeah…Look how you crater at the thought of actually gaining knowledge about Julia. …don’t bother reading about her nutjob screeching at other people — because then you might have to yield a little of that moral high ground you’ve taken. Go ahead — defend her without knowing what you’re really standing up for.

          • annab says:

            You don’t get it.

            I’m not defending her… I’ve been pretty clear she has her faults. I don’t like or dislike her. What sparked my curiosity is why so many people are so fixated on her, gleefully pointing out every mistake she’s made, ragging on her tirelessly, making hurtful comments, etc as though it’s their day job.

            My subject of interest is the social phenomenon (ie. the posters here and on other sites) going on around her, not her. I don’t care if she’s the devil incarnate and if you read what I wrote I haven’t defended her at all. My point isn’t “she’s an awesome person and everyone should shut up”… I’m more questioning why a group of anonymous people have come onto the internet and made hating her (or anyone else who is the subject of a site like this) a priority and bonded over it.

          • Scooby Don't says:

            If you were really serious with this “questioning” and concern about this unique disturbing phenomena you’ve discovered (anonymous people posting negative things on the internet has never happened anywhere else but here of course), you’d follow the links and do the research. Saying you’re concerned but not wanting to do any follow up when it’s presented to you on a silver platter at best makes you lazy, at worst makes you a troll.
            Either way you’re not someone to be taken seriously.

          • CaptainGary says:

            Since you’re “skipping the reading” I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes (and I’m Leher-ing/Julia-ing myself here): Julia grifts her way through professions that many of us care about. She’s been handed some pretty incredible opportunities – not a fucking reality TV show, by the way, but writing, social media, and the like – and basically said “Fuck you” to said opportunities. I won’t try to point out what those are since you’re being willfully obtuse with your “Hands Across America” bullshit, but the fact remains that her professional behavior and conduct leaves much to be desired. For professionals in said industries – like many of us are – it’s like she’s saying “fuck you” to things we’ve worked hard for.

            Clear enough for ya?

        • A Donkey is an Ass says:

          “…it’s disturbing for me that we would treat any human being this way regardless of their faults.”

          Totally agree. We should celebrate everyone.

        • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

          annab — You really ought to check out the links.

          That said, I appreciate that you are looking at this from a ‘social phenomenon’ perspective, as you indicated below.

          Elsewhere I linked a post where I described the different ways this place has provided a ‘social phenomenon’ for many of us. For example, many of us have dealt with people like Julia — sociopaths, narcissists, grifters and liars — and in a way being a part of this site has allowed catharsis and understanding. This is part of what attracted me, personally, having to deal with a few different ‘Julia’s in My Life.’ It’s sort of pop culture psychology, or critical theory, with a unified object of interest to explore and express the feelings many people feel in diverging circumstances.

          For others, this is a global water cooler. Those are people who’ve had to deal with her personally, or who are friends/loved ones of those who’ve dealt with her personally. Call it a slambook, if you will, but when someone courts fame and attention as she does, and screws people over in the process, sometimes it is fun to get together with your friends and just vent.

          Consider it also Reality TV 2.0. That is Julia’s wildest dream, honestly; the idea that we’ve been watching an edited version of her ‘life’ online (where she tries to control the editing) and laughing at the gaffs, lies, and infuriating behavior. She sought and she got, honestly, and for some of us it is our own little online ‘reality’ show that existed before she got her dream reality show.

          It is a very interesting social phenom, to be sure, but not necessarily as sad as you make it out to be. Especially considering the quality of many of the commenters. Most reality stars should be so lucky as to have such an enchantingly creative, funny, intelligent and well-spoken audience.

          Also, I apologize for my since/sense mistake above. Mary got my tongue.

          • mcakez: Strange Puss = Sexually Delicious! says:

            I also apologize for ‘Julia’s’ — I’m tired.

          • Donkarena says:

            Excellent post. Very true.

          • annab says:

            I read the comment you linked to in the other thread. It’s very articulate and does shed some light on where you’re coming from, and that’s what I was interested to know more about. I suppose my follow up question would be at what point does spending so much time and energy on this one individual become overkill?

            For the others above, I understand this is not a new phenomenon and that it goes on all over the web… which is precisely why I’m interested in it and why you shouldn’t take my comments so personally. I’m sorry if those in the chain above feel that by not reading about her in detail I’m not to be taken seriously or that I’m to be called a troll or a white knighter. I imagine you’ll have a field day with me and that’s okay, I knew that was a possibility when I posted here.

            I suppose I see this group behavior as sad because if you are all intelligent, articulate and ambitious individuals (and I never said you weren’t, you all came forth with all kinds of self-disparaging comments first!), couldn’t you be more productive working towards something positive than something like this? I recognize the world isn’t all happiness and smiles and we don’t all love one another, but it seems to me that with the invention on the internet there’s been a distinct culture shift in terms of what is culturally acceptable and normal behavior when it comes to how we interact with others in the world.

            Even in looking at the variety of responses to my comment, it’s clear there is a certain pack mentality and reflexive defensiveness that comes out whenever anyone challenges the status quo. I do appreciate those of you who were more respectful about it than others.

          • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

            Since you are interested in the “cultural shift” that we represent, perhaps you should consider the “cultural shift” that Julia represents. Julia is a lazy, lying grifter who is constantly rewarded with attention and opportunities because she lies and misrepresents herself at every turn.

            Perhaps we are people who have not shifted at all but hold to more traditional values where people should be rewarded for hard work and ethical living.

          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            okay, I want to know, where is this idea coming from that everything people do has to be somehow productive?

            no, seriously, why is that what all the wite-niters (+ curiosity seekers) keep on emphasizing this idea that people somehow have to do productive things with all their time? as if, if we weren’t here, we could somehow save more orphans or whales or donkeys?

            how is productivity at all relevant to what we do here? just because we spend on this sight/site/cite doesn’t mean we’re not productive with the rest of our time (and I’ll bet you anything that we’re all more productive and have more social utility than A Donkey).

          • Gimme Pig of Love says:

            *spend time on this site

            tl;dr version: We’re allowed to be unproductive if we want.

            (And also? I think this site/sight/cite is totally productive. Who are you, the productivity police?)

          • annab says:

            I’m not the productivity police… again, why the need for all the snark? A little goes a long way.

            If it’s true this woman is a sociopath, it’s definitely a wasted effort. Sociopaths don’t learn, don’t change, and most of all, don’t care. I can see the value in raising awareness to those types of people (as mentioned in another post), but at what point does it become an obsessive thing for you?

            My comment wasn’t meant as some moral or philosophical question so much as it was meant as a sociological/psychological point of view. mcakez’s responses have been very interesting and so have some others. That being said, could we all be nicer (self included), yup.

        • Grammarian says:

          But if you don’t do the reading, you will have no idea what you are talking about ;)

        • EyeRoller says:

          Hi annab. No need to feel sorry for me, but I appreciate your confused curiosity. I have to say, I’m not the best speller, but that should hardly be the thing to criticize people about if, as you say, the crux of your questions lie in the whys and what fors of this bl og. However, I am not responsible for the feeling “sad” you confessed as you read this blog. Perhaps further reading or even introspection would help you to realize that. Good luck in your further studies of Social Phenomena and thank you for your interest.

          Oh, wait. Last thing: I’ll fess up to the face that I’m a shit speller, but that should hardly be the thing to criticize people about as you did with Afghani if, as you say, the crux of your questions truly lie in the whys and what fors of this blog. Discrediting someone for missing a letter in a word when you initially approach them with a supposed deep philosophical bent makes you come off probably not as smart as we all know you are in real life, donchathink?

          • EyeRoller says:

            Sorry annab if message above was a little choppy I know you like to tear people apart for their grammar first and their beliefs second, so i thought I’d mention I’m texting these messages to you on a sad, non smart people’s 2006 Chocolate Razor phone from the back of a very dark, very shallow closet. I’m losing reception in here so take care!

          • A Donkey is an Ass says:

            I’d say I like you hard if I wasn’t such a pathetic person incapable of those kind of feelings.

            If annab wants to criticize grammar maybe she should go to a snark site/sight/cite that isn’t filled with talented writers.

            I used to be intimidated by the quality of writing here. Now, I don’t really care because I’m not pretending to be a writer like a Donkey. Commas and hyphens confuse me. Always have.

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      You’re right. She’s a special little snowflake with a wonderful writing ability. She’s never treated another human being poorly in her life. But if she has, feel free to relax, it was months ago. Who even remembers that?

      I used to feel sorry for white knighters who couldn’t see through her bullshit. But your well thought-out argument has convinced me. I know you won’t ever forget about Donkey, sorry, Julia now that her amazing TV experience is over and she’s had such tremendous personal growth . We’ll all just stop now. Thank you.

      Please don’t feel sorry for me. If I’ve learned anything from Donkey, dammit I mean Julia, it’s that I should just accept myself and not care what anyone else thinks. Stop feeling sorry for me! I’m special! Somebody is fucking me!

    • Tingolayo says:

      This is my first time here, too, and I’m only posting from this basement because I’m down here to launder my two amazing children’s soccer uniforms.

      “I was referring more to the people who seem to make commenting on this woman’s every action into a full time job”

      *She* makes commenting on her every action a full-time job. OK, to be honest, I have to say that I’d never heard of her until I watched Miss Advised. When she said she was “the most hated person on the internet,” I wondered how someone with just 3 episodes of an obscure reality show under her belt could even be known, much less hated. (I mean, nobody I know could name more than 1 or 2 Survivor contestants, whereas I can name someone from every season.) So I looked up the site that “hated” her.

      All the in-jokes and the references to people I’ve never heard of were confusing, but as I sifted through them I realized that it wasn’t really about mocking her dorky shoes or bad plastic surgery. It was about calling out her bad behavior (and some of it was really, really bad.) Intelligent people were commenting on it. But how did all these people know about her bad behavior? She’s a reality show participant, and such people are hardly household names. Turns out, she blogs/tweets/trails banners from Goodyear blimps/drops flyers from airplanes/send out smoke signals about her EVERY FRICKIN MOVE.

      Again, who was she? An international correspondent, like Christiane Amanpour or Anderson Cooper? A writer for the New York Times or Vanity Fair? A writer? A performer? Bill Maher, Kathy Griffin, Rush Limbaugh? A popular columnist for a quaint small-town newspaper, even? Nope. She’s just an average person of average accomplishments, who puts very single aspect of her life online in an effort to get known. She’s just that person in the photos on the side margins of this site.

      “My subject of interest is the social phenomenon (ie. the posters here and on other sites) going on around her, not her.”

      This website didn’t pique my curiosity at all, as a “social phenomenon.” It’s witty and trenchant, but pretty standard stuff, in that people gather on websites to discuss stuff all the time. Important stuff, boring stuff, silly stuff. Current events, cookie recipes, video games, Jennifer Aniston’s haircut, child abuse law, gay marriage, Star Trek, nail polish colors. Whatever. People spend hours online. It’s what they do. Even busy people with full-time jobs, volunteer gigs, family commitments, etc. (Ahem. Myself.) I certainly don’t see any “jealousy” on this site. Nobody envies Julia; they just don’t like her. The social phenomenon that I find odd is the phenomenon of Julia Allison. And it doesn’t even have to be her, per se. (I find her banal and annoying and not too bright, and I couldn’t care less what she does or wears or whom she dates.) It could be Jane Doe or Suzy Q or Joe Doakes or anyone who got famous for just being famous. How does that happen? Why did anyone find her interesting or talented enough to hire her for anything? The answer is, they didn’t. She’s not. She said “I’m interesting and talented!” and spun some buzz about herself, and people went, “Um, OK” and hired her to dash off a few “Dating is really hard when you’re 30! It turns out that real life isn’t like Sex and the City! Will I ever meet a cute boy who’s likes me?” blog posts.

      And still she refers to herself as a serious journalist or dating expert or relationship columnist or whatever. It’s like when other reality show people insist that they are really, truly, actually a SERIOUS singer! An actress! A clothing designer! An entrepreneur! An author! (See: any Real Housewives franchise.) Do they say it just to sound important? Or do they really believe it? If you say it enough, does it become reality?

      I’m not interested in what Julia does, any more than I’m interested in the life of some guy from The Jersey Shore or the woman who works at the dry cleaner or my cousin’s dentist’s husband’s first wife. Her shoes might be cute or hideous or whatever, I don’t really notice. (I’m too busy watching Darling Lilly. If someone says, “You have to see this cute dog when she’s paddling in the air,” then yeah, I’ll watch the whole show waiting for it.) I laugh at the ridiculous stuff Julia says and does on the show, but I don’t want tear into her too hard– it seems there’s some undiagnosed/untreated stuff going on that she’s not aware nor in control of, and it’s sad that that’s whirling around in anyone’s head, even when that person has been nasty and underhanded and duplicitous. The fact that someone can create an online persona out of nothing, while doing nothing, is a disturbing phenomenon. How something like that can happen is the interesting part.

      So now, with one post, I seem to have written more than our subject has written during her entire stint at Elle.com. I thank you.

      • Ex Spurt says:

        Hello, Tingolayo. LOVE your comment. Been following JA’s online antics since 2006 (?) condom fairy days. Well, wasn’t following her, she was forced down readers’ throats at Gawker (back when it was usually a good browse). And then I started reading the blogs parsing her bullshit act and here I am, the angry, kind of sad adult I am today. And to be honest, she’s been an amusing online reality show. And this is a quite a marvelous community.

        Anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about your comment. You hit the nail dead on. Hope you come back for more laundry errands.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        No, thank you! You get it.

      • Greg says:

        This is a fantastic comment. Sums it up perfectly for me.

      • EyeRoller says:

        I like this. So there.

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        Underrated comment. Perfect. Exact. THIS THIS THIS

  58. SirClompsAlot says:

    Ah!!!! Enough about Burning Man!

    Sorry, I’m a semi-recent lurker but had to join in to say I can’t take all the Burning Man talk on her twatter! It’s not the damn Oscars, lady!

    Also, someone might have said this already but the middle Hawaii closeup photo looks like those scenes in movies where a couple has to pretend they’ve been together longer than they have, so they take a bunch of cheesy fauxtos in a montage of some lame ’80s song and then put together a fake scrapbook.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Burning Man is for her as the Oscars is for her spiritual sister, Phoebe Price—an opportunity to wear scanty costumes and get her picture taken a lot, while none of the people who are actually involved in the event give even a nanofuck about her.

    • Wonkeye says:

      Yes! Green card marriage pix to show INS. Maybe he’s foreign.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

      The third pic looks like Bee Gees night at the Ramada Inn.

      And yeah, her Burning Man a.k.a. Donkstock 2012 preening is ridiculous, another juvenile “I’m wearing a costume so this is my coronation” moment for her.

  59. Yvonne says:

    My gut tells me he just wants exposure for a modeling career. I don’t see him showing any lovey dovey gestures in any of the photos. He seems to have one hand in his pocket and/or holding a beer in the other. He poses for the photos.

Comments are closed.