A Collection of Our Dumbest/Most Naive Hate Mail

While Donk Albertson, America’s Favorite Second Date Blow Job Queen, is busy at her full-time job being in love and Tweeting back “I WANT TO HUG YOU!” to every fawning @stupidwoman who Tweets her, we thought now might be a good time to share with you some of our most hilarious hate mail (some of whom I suspect are Donkey herself).

From “Abby”

This blog. It’s too mean and not that funny.  I found this after my own fascination with the train wreck “reality” of Miss Advised, but this just reads like some bitter junior high school rival jealous of fame of any kind.  To devote this much time and energy and space to making fun of someone is just pathetic.  What a pitiful waste of your life right now.  I think you will look back on this in shame.

From “Sorry For You”

Wow..you sound like a really bitter little person obsessed with this girl.  Maybe you are a little jealous that you are just an angry nobody.  Probably have never been with a woman, so you just hide is some little room somewhere and speak cruelly about others.  Sad.  Get a life sweetie and stop focusing on others.

From “Emma”

You are full of shit, why are you so jealous of this girl. She is human just like you, and I’m positive that you will not be happy this if someone make a site so hurtful. I feel sorry for you that you send so much hate, why spend you life trying to hurt this women. She is trying to live her life just like everyone else. I don’t like the thing people do, Not people, for you to make something like this is shameful. You need to get some help, maybe see a therapist about why this site is necessary.

From “Cori”

You have no life to send so much hate to this woman. I don’t  know her personally but to wish someone bad or to make fun of someone just because, really shows who you are. She is a human being and to try to deliberately hurt someone really is sick. Who are you to make fun of someone? We are all human and all have our issues and I know that you have your issues too. For you to call out someone else like you are better is just wrong . Find a new identity because you are a nobody.

From “Lauren”

Julia is a pretty terrible person and she’s a train wreck to watch. But the fact that you have taken so many hours out of your life and fueled with so much hatred created this site really says you are no better. In fact, I would say…worse. It seems like all that energy could be way better utilized in another way. Ciao

From “Dee Nunya”

This site makes me sick.

Really, all you can possibly be is pathologically jealous of her.

After I take some Pepto, I’m going to work  really hard on feeling sorry for you.

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102 Responses to A Collection of Our Dumbest/Most Naive Hate Mail

  1. Donkarena says:

    What, Surgeon’s Wife isn’t good enough to make the list????

    • EyeRoller says:

      Future Ex Wives of Surgeons’ Club brilliance is too good for Best Of. She’s being saved for Eternal Hall of Fame of Denial entries.

      • Grammarian says:

        How can a person marry a sturgeon? It’s just a big fish?[img]http://www.nero.noaa.gov/prot_res/scutes/images/Sturgeon%20Island.JPG[/img]

        • A Donkey is an Ass says:

          Dr. Sturgeon is just a fish. He’s a gay fish.

          [img]http://noclipmode.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/kanye-gay-fish-600×398.jpg[/img]

          Future Ex-Mrs. Sturgeon is nothing more than a beard.

        • frequent liar miles says:

          This picture charms me for some reason. I feel sure that Mr Edgecomb would like me if he met me in person (though I guess that’s not possible at this point, him being dead as a doornail and all..)

  2. Jack the Bulldog says:

    The combined I.Q. of the white knighters appears to be around 7.5, and that includes “Lauren,” AKA Julie Albertson.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      Texas would still execute them.

      • Donkarena says:

        we’re not completely heartless here — before the execution, we give them a last meal of whatever they want, and we carefully wipe their arm with alcohol before the injection.

    • EyeRoller says:

      What’s even sadder is that the combined I.Q. of the white knighters was already 7.49 before the entry from “Lauren”, AKA Julie Albertson.

  3. Princess WideStance says:

    These all read like they were spit out of Google Translate.

    I’m officially done with anyone who trots out the “you’re just jealous” tripe, whether online or IRL. It’s as senseless as it is tired.

    • Donkarena says:

      I’m with you….Going forward, I hereby assign them to scrollby status.

    • EyeRoller says:

      Yeah JooJoo, you nailed it. We can’t stand you because we’re all JEALOUS, that’s it. Absolutely nothing to do with you being the type of person no one can FUCKING STAND.

      • Donkarena says:

        also, we’re intelligent enough to know when we’re being played. I think that pisses people off more.

      • heddy says:

        Exactly. Go ahead and call me “jealous” if that means that I despise her just like I despise every other plagiarist scheme-bag OBOer who lies her way through life. But I guess some people like Cori and Emma aspire to be like that too, perhaps?

    • Blowjobs by Bravo says:

      Only the truly delusional mention jealousy to try and make an arguement. Oh Let me count the ways I’m jealous:
      1. Having to be guided down by tiara to blow a donut (yep jealous of his creamy center)
      2. Hanging out a limo in a prom dress that had more panels added to it than Lusitania after it wrecked
      Yeah I’m coming up as empty as Donk’s soul on the jealous thing.

  4. Albie Quirky says:

    The whole “if you scorn and mock someone, you must be jealous of them” idea makes no sense. Yeah, Jay Leno is jealous of the people on the “Jaywalking” segments! Jon Stewart is jealous of Michele Bachmann! Bill O’Reilly is jealous of Barney Frank! Conan O’Brien is jealous of Kim Kardashian!

    Dear hatemailing white nits: When your mum told you that the other kids teased you because they were jealous of you? She was lying. They teased you because they thought you were a loser.

  5. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    The burning question I have for all the white nits who write in:
    [img]http://www.cathykeir.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/nits.jpg[/img]

  6. A Donkey is an Ass says:

    “You are full of shit, why are you so jealous of this girl. She is human just like you, and I’m positive that you will not be happy this if someone make a site so hurtful. I feel sorry for you that you send so much hate, why spend you life trying to hurt this women. She is trying to live her life just like everyone else. I don’t like the thing people do, Not people, for you to make something like this is shameful. You need to get some help, maybe see a therapist about why this site is necessary.”

    I think Russian Girl sent this one as a goof.

  7. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    MASS EXODUS OF THE BASEMENT AS IMAGINED BY A WHITE NIT:
    [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/wbjBImk7nqepoorh6tlYC4KIo1_250.gif[/img]

  8. Badonkeydonk says:

    It’s uncanny how these letter-writers reveal themselves to be guilty of exactly the same accusations they are making. It’s so pot-kettle:

    “I feel sorry for you that you send so much hate….this is shameful. You need to get some help.”

    “to deliberately hurt someone really is sick….you are a nobody”

    “I found this (website) after my own fascination with the train wreck “reality” of Miss Advised…..What a pitiful waste of your life right now.”

    “You sound like a really bitter little person…Get a life sweetie and stop focusing on others.”

    Hmmm.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant (almost a transitive-property) says:

      You deserve criticism for saying critical things about others, Badonkeydonk. Worrisome.

    • Donkarena says:

      [sigh] I know….it gets tiresome pointing out the glaring irony of their posts. I think that’s why they always take a superior tone — the moral high ground….where donkeys run free…

    • EyeRoller says:

      Those quotes sound like the best reviews ever for the movie poster version of this site!

  9. OMGDonk says:

    Donkey is suffering from writer’s block, hate mail edition. What does a Donkey do?Recycle and reuse other hate mail: train wreck, shame, bitter, you are not better and wasting your life. Its not plagiarism if she’s plagiarizing herself, right?

    Ugh, and “reality” in quotes? hoof print!

  10. LEFOOLIEH says:

    I’m a little concerned with their concern about how I – a random person – choose to spend my time and the reasons behind my selection of such lulz-giving pleasures. What’s my motivation? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. ~*Would*~ that you could find a better way to channel your energy than wasing your time being overly concerned about the who, what, when, where and why of this site and my participation in and on it. You either get it or you don’t. You take care, dear hearts!

  11. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    The white knights are the most boring part of this site. She doesn’t even have interesting defenders! Come on.

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      I agree! They’re not worth a post when there’s so much mania!

    • juliajane says:

      Yes! They are so tiresome and reading their comments is even more boring than watching Miss Advised, which is really saying something.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      Hear! Hear! I demand a post about Donkey and Kristin Thorne clomping around the Hollywood Bowl, tarnishing the memories of my favorite place in L.A.

  12. Occupy Donkeytown says:

    That gif! Does she not own a mirror? How could she think the “black drapes” hairstyle was suitable?

  13. EyeRoller says:

    I’m too busy reading this new NIT’S comments on the last post that started at 10pm.

  14. A Donkey is an Ass says:

    Why do all of these Dickhead Donkey Defenders assume this amounts to anything more than a hobby? How is this anything different than @stupidwomen who spend their time fawning over Donkey on Facebook or Twitter? It’s just one of many hobbies that catladies (and catdudes) have picked up in addition to careers in their successful and interesting lives. Donkey has a little social media hobby, but what else does she have?

    It seems like snark is a concept that makes most sad simpletons take offense. Whereas this sad simpleton quite enjoys it. But mostly because I’m jealous of everyone.

    • heddy says:

      I really want to know what makes Donk so much more special than any other “on-air personality” at Bravo, especially since she’s been begging and blowing for at least the past five years to try to grift her way on to the network. Are there people out there who spend their time cruising the Internet to crusade on behalf of Teresa or Nene? It sounds like these dumbasses are more obsessed with Julia than any of us will ever be. I don’t even go to bat that hard to defend myself online, let alone some nobody WHO ASKED FOR ALL OF THIS…

  15. AFGHANI says:

    I, for one, FORBID these haters to hate on my hateful posting on this blog! So there!

  16. K_Swizz says:

    She’s so BORING.

    I wonder when she will realize that this site is the ONLY thing keeping her relevant. Because, sure as shit, no one is going to be bothered to read her blog/keep up with her incessant tweeting. Lifecasting can actually be interesting if you are constructing a narrative. But we’re just re-reading chapters 27-32 in The Donk Files, only she crossed out and penciled in different names.

  17. Malformed Face says:

    I’m guessing Donkey isn’t braying about Monday’s ratings b/c they’re shitfy?

  18. EyeRoller says:

    My extremely gaseous grandmother, who does not have the Internetz but is nevertheless highly literate, makes me read these posts to her as bedtime stories. As I am putting her now to sleep, she told me to tell everyone here that she loves them and to tell the donkey-loving, covert white knight activism could be better channeled into somehow educating and therefore preventing the poisoning of minds of innocent young women who consume and buy into the brainwashing, deception, and fraudulent claims made by viral media sex and the city stunted tech idiot dickhead whores who lie about being relationship experts.

    Yeah, that’s right. She whispered all that in my ear as she drifted off to her moral high ground of magical zzzz’s. Good night everyone.

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      Now that’s a Grandmother (sic)! Seems like a sweet old lady who, unlike Grandmother Anti-Multiculturali$m, has enjoyed life.

      That kind of reminds me of of my own grandma, when at the age of 98, became obsessed with professional wrestling. She was born in 1904, never graduated high school, and yet was the most fascinating, well read and wittiest person I’ve ever known. So, fuck a Donkey and her arbitrary qualifications of what makes a good person. And cheers to my late, great Grandmother (sic).

      • Grammarian says:

        Mine was a stealth bitch. She’d say things like, “the holes in her head matched the rocks in his.”

  19. Gimme Pig of Love says:

    “It seems like all that energy could be way better utilized in another way.”

    Sorry to reiterate a point I made in the last post, but WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? THE PRODUCTIVITY POLICE? Why is the argument always that we can somehow be more productive with our time/’utilize our energy in another way’?

    People are allowed to utilize their energy however they fucking want, productive or no. Good Greg.

    Plus, I think there is no finer way to utilize our energy, catladies and gentlemen. To the cheetos!

    • EyeRoller says:

      We are natural sources of light by which they are blinded. My electricity bill has shot down 90% since I started reading this blog! If the white knighters really cared about energy conservation they’d log in here more often.

    • PrincessWideStance says:

      I guarantee you these are the same people who waste their time on Eat Pray Love, Jennifer Lopez albums, acrylic nails with glitter art, and Wet Seal.

      • Psychotic Today says:

        The Jennifer Lopez comment… #slain

      • EyeRoller says:

        Don’t forget MONEY. They waste lots of time and tons and tons of MONEY.

      • Donkarena says:

        ah…thank you! I lost interest in Eat, Pray, Love within minutes…tried it on a flight, because I was bored — certainly didn’t want to go to the movies to see it. Julia Roberts is just overexposed — great actress, but I can’t get past seeing her as Julia Roberts in a movie.

    • A colossus of scheme juices and failure (fka Donkeycam now!) says:

      Word!!

  20. Tonyamichaela says:

    Has literally anyone ever felt shamed by a white knighter and quit RBD to become a more productive member of society? Since hating Julia is apparently a full-time job, they act like the alternative to RBD is planting trees, reading to the blind, or donating gently used magazines to women’s shelters. Yes we can, cat ladies! If we learn to love ourselves, we will allow ourselves to love Julia and liberate ourselves of this hateful habit. In actuality, the alternative to RBD is boredom. These white knighters just need to feel superior. Julia isn’t just flawed or a human being, but a consistently shitty person who demands constant attention for it.

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      I was really close to finding a source of unlimited energy, but then Miss Advised started and I decided my time would be better utilized calling Donkey a manipulative cunt. So, you say potato, I say podildo.

  21. Random Snowflake says:

    Donk, I mean “Lauren”, the ellipsis gives you away. :)

  22. Can-Swiss says:

    Yes I’m jealous of a crazy person with a messed up face, a history of failed personal & professional relationships who is currently unemployed. Oh, and she recently humiliated herself on a badly rated reality show. She’s like a nobody version of Snooki without the trashy charm.

    • Donkarena says:

      …don’t forget the falling on the floor in complete floor oinking episode when JellyD shows up….THAT was something to be jealous of!

  23. Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

    The jealousy accusation is sort of sadly amusing, since Julia has displayed jealousy that seems almost pathological, if not morbid, in some of her dealings with boyfriends and ex’s. What else could you call secretly scanning a boyfriend’s email and messages or lashing out at an ex’s fiancee? What else could you call stalking?

  24. helobabe says:

    [img]http://oi45.tinypic.com/359alqb.jpg[/img]

  25. Sacred Scrapbooks, Mind Wrecker says:

    The psycho spin cycle begins:

    Kelly Stevens ‏@chargersgirl10
    @JuliaAllison you seriously are the biggest annoying bitch ever no shocker you are single
    4:59 AM – 9 Aug 12

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @chargersgirl10 – whoa … Kelly, you’ve never even met me. It’s just a tv show! Also – I’m not single.
    5:32 AM – 9 Aug 12

    • It's Just A TV Showjuliajane says:

      The only reason she replied to that tweet was so she could once again announce that she has a boyfriend! So sad.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Also – I’m not single

      Oh, FFS!
      D0nkey, are you married? NO …
      D0nkey, are you divorced? NO …
      D0nkey, you ARE single. Period. End.of.Story. Shut it.

  26. ShesJustStupid says:

    The best tweet is the one where she says she doesn’t have to work for a while because she’s made enough money from TV, writing, investments and consulting. Not kidding. Then she asks the tweeter who inquired about her career plans how SHE made money. Bitchy bitch is bitchy….

  27. LEFOOLIEH says:

    Who wanted to see donkey fauxtography in action? (I know she never reads here so someone grab this before it’s gone foreverrrr!)

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/digiulio/4685395926/

  28. CaptainGary says:

    Not to beat a dead horse re: white knights and Friends o’ Donk, but I find it awfully amusing that the people who bluster all up in here, wondering why all the hate and why oh why don’t we do something more productive…these people almost to a (wo)man FOUND US BY WATCHING BRAVO – and Bravo is more or less a network that almost exclusively showcases human trainwrecks and mocks them on the sly. They don’t show opera anymore, that’s for goddamn sure.

    Think about the irony.

  29. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    hey guys. she “is human just like you” ok?! sniff. sniff. lol omg really, i can’t believe there are people who actually think this girl is legit.

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