A Trip Down Memory Lane: When Julie Was Devoted To The Plight of Military Families

As we watch Donk now move into Burning Man Mode, complete with suggestions that she’s not only America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen but also a recreational drug enthusiast who listens to Skrillex after she turns off the Taylor Swift, I was reminded of previous major personality shifts when trying to impress a dude. I am guessing this latest “I listen to hard-core dubstep and might drop The Acid” is aimed at her latest piece, just as her commitment to the plight of military families was aimed at getting Pancakes to put a ring on it.

Remember all that? How devoted she suddenly was to honoring those in the military? And that it was Pancakes’ military commitments, and not her psycho phone and email hacking, that tore them asunder? And how even Pancakes tried to use his profession to get the hell away from a lunatic?

And when she FORBID people from reading her blog, and JP teed off on her for her remarks?

Fun times.

And I don’t think she has ever mentioned the military, except in passing, ever again.

Brace yourself, Skrillex. You’re in for a dumping once Donk moves onto her latest victim.

 

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

238 Responses to A Trip Down Memory Lane: When Julie Was Devoted To The Plight of Military Families

  1. Natasha says:

    This is truly a momentous occasion, to have gotten here before the other haters.

    ALSO LOOK AT THAT HORRIBLE DRESS THE END

  2. Dyspeptic says:

    Skrillex?!? Wait, wasn’t dancing nude to the “Wicked” soundtrack just a few weeks ago? Paradigms be a-shifting rapidly chez donk.

    • AFGHANI says:

      Lots of lots of Bach –> Skrillex.

      In less than 2 months.

      The best part is, the trend of her taste in music mirrors the trend of her “career”.

  3. Donkarena says:

    Well, of COURSE she’s going to greet the incoming sailors! Duh!

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    This post made me wonder what D0nkey had recently tweeted, then I wondered if the tweet to her from the Pats cheerleader was that of the cheerleader who was going to be a part of NS but never materialized, so I followed the link to her website …

    Is it just me, do I need to adjust my monitor, or is the proportion really effed here?
    http://laurenmarchetti.com/portfolio/ Cuz I’m assing my laugh off over the squatty body fauxtos (she looks like a dammit doll!)

    • Donkarena says:

      I just took a look….definitely too short for runway modeling! Come to think of it, “on-air reporting” might look funny, too, since athletes tend to come in large sizes.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      She’s like-to-welcome-you, to-munch-kin-land!

  5. Donkey Expertin says:

    I wonder how her book proposal is coming.

    PS Donkey
    PPS LOL what book proposal

    • KashMoney says:

      donkey will never be involved in any sort of proposal at any time ever

    • Donkarena says:

      She can just publish a collection of all her columns from being an advice columnist for the past 10 years! Just picking the “best of”, of course…

    • Curling Irons at Dawn says:

      This makes me unbelievably excited. I really, really hope she finishes so I can get to see it (I work in publishing).

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I thought Andrea Dunlop was writing it and Our Julie was just the (bad) idea lady?

      That day we all laughed at La Dunlop’s crappy novel was a halcyon day here in the basement.

    • JFA says:

      She has a file called “Book Proposal” on her desktop. When she opens it, she sees a blank page and a blinking cursor. She does this about once every two weeks, googles herself a few times, texts her bf, and closes the document til the next time.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Silly, not a blank page!! It says: “By Julia Allison.”

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          And she probably experiments with changing the “By Julia Allison” to different fonts and sizes.

          Ooooooh, Curlz MT in size 36 looks great! But is four exclamation points okay or is it classier to go with three? I’m a perfectionist.

          • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

            In light pink? or hot pink? or light pink? or hot pink? writing is soooooooo hard….

        • SilverBulletViBRAYtor says:

          “Age 31.”

  6. Dr. Gary says:

    *gets down on knees to pray*

    please Baby Jesus, please bless us with a video of Julie dancing to Skrillex at Burning Man.

  7. virgil reid says:

    so she tried shrooms? i am late to the drug experimentation since i outgrew mine when i was 22.

    • cola champagne says:

      I never went the hallucinogen route. I lived in New York from the 70s to the 90s. You saw weird shit whether you were sober or high.

      • Greg says:

        I was thinking about this as I was vomming in the shower this morning: Imagine eating mushrooms with that thing and the auditory disturbances?!? Those poor other people tripping with her; I hope they have sumo wrestler suits for the jabbin’ (see what I did there) and professional-grade earplugs.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Here is my experience with loud people and drugs: The more obnoxious and yappy they are while sober, the quieter and more subdued they get when high. The biggest yappiest asshole I ever knew would become quiet as a mouse when he did lines or ate ‘shrooms. And the shy, quiet people would conversely become loud and obnoxious.

          So who knows, maybe drugs would cause her to shut up and chill the fuck out.

        • Stalker is the new Odd Remainder says:

          it would SUCK to trip with her. She would be constantly trying to get into your groove.. She would be going “DO YOU FEEL IT YET? DO YOU FEEL IT YET? I THINK I FEEL IT. … OH MAH GAW I AM SOOOOOOO HIGH”

          it would be unbearable.

  8. Donkarena says:

    A little OT, but I can’t help picturing her dad’s office the morning after she admitting the 2nd date tube steak boogie with JellyD — can’t you just see the single guys in the office popping their head into his office, saying “Hey, remember when you said you’d like to fix me up with your daughter? Let’s do it! I’m in for TWO dates!”

    • EyeRoller says:

      He gives out ‘2nd Date Brayjob Special’ gift cards to employees as Christmas bonuses.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Too bad her parents wouldn’t shell out for basic cable, even just to watch this. So they may have no idea about what she does on a second date, while everyone around them in snickering.

    • JFA says:

      I hate her father, but I honestly feel sorry for him, as a fellow lawyer who once worked in a fancy big firm – I can’t imagine how embarrassed he must be at the water cooler and the shit people say behind his back. He eats it up and seems to suck but…it still must rankle.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        From various first person reports here, her parents seem oblivious to her assholery and think she’s a major success.

  9. helobabe says:

    I was going to post about this next week but it seems appropriate now. (Forgive a military wife for being a little serious here.)

    In honor of my name I think it’s only fitting that I point out August 6th is the first anniversary of the actual crash that spurred the helobabe incident.

    For those who don’t remember or were not around: On August 6, 2011, a military helicopter was shot down in eastern Afghanistan, killing 31 U.S. special operation troops, seven Afghan commandos and one military dog. It was the deadliest single incident for American forces in the decade-long war and the highest one-day death toll since World War II. Here is the post that resulted:
    http://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/08/07/julie-albertson-is-a-complete-asshole/

    And because I’m a creepy doglady I had to include a couple pictures.

    SEAL Jonas B. Kelsall and his bulldog:
    [img]http://oi50.tinypic.com/nds96f.jpg[/img]

    Expeditionary Warfare Specialist John Douangdara, and Bart, Douangdara’s Military Working Dog
    [img]http://vpwda.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/John-Duouangdara2-1024×764.jpg[/img]

    For those interested, here’s a slideshow of service members (not including the 7 Afghani service members):
    http://interactives.wavy.com/photomojo/gallery/802/17336/afghan-helo-crash-kills-30-us-troops/sgt.-alexander-j.-bennett-u.s.-army/

    • helobabe says:

      sssf:
      [img]http://oi47.tinypic.com/344cb9v.jpg[/img]

    • helobabe says:

      Also, iirc, this comment was made to his Facebook shortly after he had unfriended her and recently agreed to refriend her…

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I think this was one of the single most heartless things she ever did. What a disgrace to the memory of these servicemembers.

      • virgil reid says:

        i completely agree. although she does shitty things all the time, the “lolz ;-)” aspect of her comment was vile.

    • i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

      from one military wife to another, thank you for posting this and ensuring we remember. bless these brave people, especially our service members, and their families. never forget.

    • i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

      don’t get me started on her completely thoughtless, idiotic and inappropriate facebook post to pancakes when this happened, but ty for posting because it just reminded me again why i despise this stupid donkey. and thank you for posting the slideshow of our service members that we lost on that day. it is important we remember and honor them, their families, and all of our veterans living and lost, every chance we get.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Helobabe, there’s no reason you should, but if you wanted to stay current, you could read some celebrity newsweeklies and change your name to Halobabe.

  10. EyeRoller says:

    I’ve never seen a person with so many personalities and not one of them is likable. Isn’t there a password you can scream into the control box in the back of her head (she covers it with two weave tracks and a clip in hairpiece) that somehow triggers even ONE slightly appealing personality? Oh yeah– No. I’m stumped-ed-er than her fingers about her.

    I’m new to this blog, so this is my first Burning Man. DONK TAKES BM! (fitting title, no?) This is my first (and hopefully Donk’s PENULTIMATE) year of Burning Man and I gotta say, I’m a little glittery in the heart. I’ve been studying up on past BM behavior, and while I’m still a ditz, let me guess:
    Donk, u’z a cultured bitch out to prove you’re a lady of “many interests”, which in your book means you can mount semi-hard, not yet divorced investment banker dick in his penthouse as Taylor Swift hiccups in the background, and then throwdown the next day in a Skrillex pit with the young folk in the middle of the fucking desert.

    I’m not only excited, but also counting on all you old time smarties out there to analyze this in an appropriately terrible fashion for me this year. Don’t let me down bitches.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Welcome to the basement, sit back and enjoy a box of wine with us :)

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Think we should buy orange opaque glasses so the Cheeto dust fingerprints aren’t so obvious and greasy-looking? We’re running a classy basement here.

    • CaptainGary says:

      Seriously – can you imagine how fucking EXHAUSTING it must be to wake up every day and have to remember who the fuck you’re supposed to be? I mean, she says in her show that “It’s just me! It’s me being me, so take me (and it comes with a tiara, hack hack),” and then in the blog posts she sharts out she reiterates that – but then, when someone says, “Hey, maybe you should be be LESS you,” she says, “Oh, that’s not me anymore!” Buh?

      And that doesn’t even take into account the crazy veering from persona to persona vis a vis the stuff she’s supposedly “into” – in the past year and a half, she’s had, like, 20 life-changing experiences, four careers, a Burning Man, a Comic-Con…man, it makes me tired as hell.

      She really has no self, does she?

      • EyeRoller says:

        You just tucked me perfectly into bed.

      • Post-Vibrator Euphoric Flush says:

        Her “I’m working on it” bullshit is tiresome. Heyyyy, Julia Allison, working on something means CHANGING. And since you’re so good at changing every week, why do you fail so badly at changing in life?

        HEAD SPINNING.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        There is no memory of what she’s supposed to be. She only wants to be what she is right now, which is a false persona. It’s not exhausting because she simply doesn’t care about what she was or what lies she told.

        I’m reading the New Yorker piece about the marathon cheater – short version: lies build upon lies, easy for the liar and perplexing as fuck for everyone else.

    • JFA says:

      Cosign all of this, and I will add…a clue to why she likes burning man, or more like “the only reason:” she gets to dress up in slutty costumes and take lots of pictures of herself. The end.

    • Donkarena says:

      Well-said EyeRoller…..It must be exhausting being a friend/date of hers, too. Can you imagine that grating, hyped up energy all the time? Speaking of when she’s confronted by commenters: it seems her excuses clash with each other. Which is it? Do you need the freedom to be who you are….a special, unique snowflake? OR is it editing and “that’s not how my dating life really is”….”I’m not like that anymore’ implying that she’s not as “in your face” as she is portrayed? (“Kiss me….kiss me right now!”) Do you see the disconnect between the two excuse streams? Donkey: Either you’re irrepressably cute and irresistible just the way you are, (Are you auditioning for the “America’s Sweetheart” title? Meg Ryan IS getting on in years) and there’s some dude in the solar system who would like that shit, OR Bravo has constructed this pink BEAST with skillfully edited clips, and it doesn’t resemble you at all (which means you’re backing away from your protestations of simply being the “unique individual” portrayed on Bravo). THEN, you interject a THIRD strategy of “I’m no longer like that’….You know, there’s nothing wrong with being unique or eccentric, and if you own it and are just who you are, and are respectful of other peoples’ rights to be who they are, people tend to respect that. Even if they don’t care to be in your company, at least they know who you are. YOU, on the other hand, lack the gravitas of a unique individual who has amassed at least SOME interesting characteristics or even introspection by the age of 31. You selfishly dominate any room that you’re in, which conveys neediness and a childish need to be the center of attention (one word: Prom), which is also handy for keeping intimacy with others at bay. I submit that the most telling moment of this series is when you were on your first date with Andrew and he went off-script and suggested “let’s have a drink first”! It was an invitation for the two of you to sit and interact like two people on a date. (probably scared you to death on an instinctive level) It had the potential for a bit of romance to bloom — it showed he was still willing to give it a shot, even after all you’d put him through so far. He was STILL willing to get to know you in person. And you dismissed him without even looking at him. It was your gut reaction — you can’t hide that. That wasn’t editing. It was a moment of the raw, unedited, unvarnished truth: you are a selfish being, terrified of interactions that aren’t controlled and directed by you –only concerned with being the star of the show.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      “hopefully Donk’s PENULTIMATE”

      Sorry, I’m not with ya on this one. I kinda hope Donkey is embarrassing the hell out of herself by dressing in slutty clothes at BM when she’s 50.

  11. Occupy Donkeytown says:

    I have never understood this photo. How is this anatomically possible?

  12. CaptainGary says:

    Slightly OT – I say slightly because hey, it’s about Donks here – but have some of you cat peeps READ some of the tweets that her fans tweet at her? And, for that matter, Donks’ responses. Yikes. Scary – guess “weird obsessions” with the Donks only bother her if they’re critical or questioning. Fawning? OK! Creepy? Yes! Skin suit wearing? You got it!

    I found this, too – can you imagine being someone who LOOKS UP TO DONKEY?

    http://bravosphere.blogspot.com/2012/08/is-he-going-to-fulfill-all-my-needs.html?spref=tw

    I just Kant today.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Yeah, that person failed out of law school and imagines marrying all her dates. Scary Saddershaw!

      • CaptainGary says:

        Well, duh! They’re both perfectionists, Albie! That’s what perfectionists do!

        • cola champagne says:

          I seriously don’t know how Keith could sit across from Julia and listen to her excuses. Perfectionists actually do things, so not doing something because you might fail is called procrastination. You have to do something in order to try to make it come out perfectly, and we’ve seen your make-up and clothes, Julie. You are a procrastinator and you’re messy. You are no perfectionist.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Did she seriously blame writer’s block as the reason she failed out of law school?

        • melting marionette says:

          appears not to be blocked when it comes to blog-posting though.

          seems quite OK with the fact she failed.

        • AFGHANI says:

          It’s really important to write concisely and clearly in law school. Reading her writing, I can’t see her ever finishing an issue-spotting essay question in a typical first year class. And the answers she attempted were probably wrong anyway. Her blog shows how jumbled her thinking is.

    • Floppy says:

      Her first post in on Miss Assface? Detailed reasons why she’s in love with Julia?
      Always repeating “for law school”, failed because of “perfection” when it just sounds like she prefers to veg in front of the tv? It’s all so telling, the fawning over a stuck in SATC version NYC? Signing off with “xo”?

      I don’t buy it.
      Fake fake fake fake fake

      Go to bed, Julia.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      OMG I just read that. Oh honey.

    • JFA says:

      This times a million. She will shut down 500,000 reasoned responses from actually intelligent people if they are at all critical. She will eat up with a fucking spoon barely literate, obvious batshit insane fawnery by people she would not give the time of day IRL to because they are mostly probably uneducated hick types, as long as they kiss her ass. No matter how stupid they obviously are, THEY ARE RIGHT for believing she is awesome. She’s insane.

      • JFA says:

        Also I wrote this before I read some of (don’t make me read it all) the post you linked. Okay. This chick failed out of law school because she’s just too much of a perfectionist. Okay.

        I am gonna be a snob here…but I’m taking a wild guess she went to…not a great law school, but regardless, it’s pretty fucking hard to fail out of law school, esp a crappy one. Meaning, this girl is not only nuts, but also an idiot.

      • JFA says:

        ETA this is but one reason being on this show is a nightmare both for her own sanity and for those of us who have to put up with her spewings. She nows has at least 50 bored lonely dull fans who will tell her how her every fart is just oh so precious, and she will believe every single one of them, and it’s just further proof in her demented mind that she truly is a visionary and soooooo pretty and smart and funny and special. I really hope for this reason alone this show gets killed. She really doesn’t need any encouragement.

    • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

      Could not get past the first few sentences – this girl makes me sad.

      (almost as sad as when JABA’s boss said “designer pieces, vintage might work” and she trotted out LP, Betsey Johnson, and Bebe).

    • emma bourricot says:

      THIS MADE MY BLOOD BOIL. My husband (and I’m younger than you, donkey!), a combat amputee veteran, has worked for this organization, and I’ve been fortunate enough to take amazing trips to Bonaire and Aspen, etc. as a part of this group. She just flounced and it made me incredibly angry. I had to restrain myself from messaging someone on LinkedIn and asking WTF they were doing. In the end, I’m glad she flaked out because we would never have heard the end of it. In recent years, the group has taken on increasingly right-wing supporters (Bill O’Reilly hosted a gala I went to at Cipriani) but I draw the line at having Donkey’s skin tags all over an organization very dear to my heart. I don’t care if I’ve outed myself because Donkey, you are a cunt.

      • Donkarena says:

        We’ve supported Wounded Warrior very strongly — I wasn’t aware it was a left wing organization. Flouncing in isn’t support anyway — but a supporter is a supporter. It seems that is one organization that should steer clear of those types of designations and bring all together to support the wounded.

        • emma bourricot says:

          It’s absolutely not a left-wing organization, sorry if I implied that. It’s always been more conservative in terms of funders, actually, but more so now that the war in Iraq is over. WWP is not politically partisan at all.

          • Donkarena says:

            good….thanks for replying…we love supporting that group. My husband even has wounded warrior grips on his golf clubs!

  13. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    I happened to be hanging out tonight with my shaman and the Ouija board, and we decided to scare up Owsley Stanley to get his opinion on Julia’s desire to drop acid. At first we thought Owsley was in a bad mood, but then we shimmed the table level and after cursing us for keeping him waiting — he’s a busy spirit — Owsley puzzled for a bit then said, “Lemme ask Jerry.” Then it seems Jerry wanted to check with Timothy Leary, then Leary threw it to Kesey, and this went on for a while until finally Hunter Thompson woke up or whatever it is dead people do and he said, “Chick with the yellow nail polish? 500 mcgs a day until she shuts the fuck up.” And there you have it, direct from the Other World.

    • So. Blessed. says:

      <3 I want to take this comment to Burning Man and go all tantric in the hammock.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      I simply cannot imagine what Julia would be like on drugs considering her life is already like one of Princess Toadstools bad acid trips.

      • Greg says:

        ack, I just saw this after I commented upthread about the horror for the other people tripping with her. SS SF.

  14. A Donkey is an Ass says:

    Ugh. Fucking dubstep? Why is everything she likes stupid?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I hate Skrillex. Hard.

      • Stalker is the new Odd Remainder says:

        Skrillex is not very good dubstep.

        I love dubstep. I have loved drum’n’bass since forever and coming from an 80s industrial background, dubstep just does it for me.

        That said, I know that pretty much only tools and chavs share this love.

  15. helobabe says:

    Tonight on Andy Cohen’s show James Frey said he’s a big fan of Miss Advised and dirty danced with JWoww from Jersey Shore. I…just…don’t…

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Hell, you could have a Disgraced Author’s Roundtable on Julia Allison with him and Jonah Lehrer.

    • AFGHANI says:

      Frey’s a moron, so this makes sense.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      There’s a guy who can’t stand to be out of the limelight.he’s a lot like donks, he really doesn’t think he did anything wrong despite the fact that he’s on TAPE talking about his horrific experience in the lock up–in incredible detail–in an interview with Borders. And it never happened. Sick guy.

  16. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    as an army wife, i have been waiting to get up on my military spouse soapbox since around episode 2 when donk was discussing her “relationship” (barf) with pancakes and said something along the lines of she broke up with him because she didn’t think she could achieve her “goals” as a military wife — goals that i’m sure include spending pancakes’ hard earned paycheck on pink tutus and turning their home into a veritable pink museum. that’s when i went from disliking to despising her and i hope every other military spouse in america did too. EXCUSE ME? which prompted me to google their split, which turned up her blog entry on it. … it. disgusted. me. but also gave me a great laugh — how hypocritical can a donk be? an entry dated May 7 2011 on her nonsociety blog says “I am heartbroken for so many reasons. Because I loved him….Because I loved the future we had planned out together – the adventures we were going to have together. The challenges we were going to face together…But I kept trying to reconcile these two life paths … and I couldn’t. Him achieving his dreams would crush mine…And I don’t think – as much as I respect the incredible women and men who are military spouses – I don’t think it’s the life for me.” this donk is freaking incredible. she wanted to have adventures and face challenges together but she couldn’t hack it as a military wife? hmmmmmmm….. the two go together, and btw donk it is called growing as a person and developing new goals but then again, i can’t expect a stupid donkey to understand the very rewarding challenges of a military family. this is coming from a college-educated california girl born and raised, who was living in LA and working in publishing before i married my husband so i know exactly what it’s like to think you’re giving up dreams, but if you’re not a short-sighted donkey then you realize there can be new dreams and goals when you have a REAL relationship and you are a selfless person. because of being a military wife, i learn every day what commitment, loyalty and respect is, but a stupid donk wouldn’t understand those things for one day much less during the course of a deployment or military career. but she’s right about one thing — this is not the life for an asshole, aka, julia allison baugher. thank god julia allison is not a military wife — i would be incredibly embarrassed to share that awesome title with a crazy, braying, self-indulgent, bratty, whining donkey.

    oh and btw that dress is hideous and sweetheart i don’t see a grate underneath you so stop with the “i’m so marilyn” pose because you look like you’re about to take a crap.

    ok. i’m off the soapbox.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      It was all just a cover story anyway. He dumped her because she was crazy. His profession just gave her an easy excuse to deflect from the crazy.

      • i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

        it doesn’t matter why he dumped her. what matters is her degrading comments regarding being a military spouse and how it sounds when it comes out of her mouth.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I agree. She is vile. I don’t blame you for being offended.

        • JFA says:

          Also she has literally zero idea of how offensive she is being, which is the best part. She had no idea writing that how shitty it would sound to military spouses. Because she is a sociopath and she has no conscience or emotions.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Whether or not she knows, she just doesn’t care. That’s what makes her such an asshole.

      • JFA says:

        Exactly. She would have accepted in SECOND 1 if he had put a ring on it. She would have GLADLY lived in Guam and flew back and forth etc because let’s not forget, she has absolutely zero semblance of a life, goals, or responsibilities. Her shit stinks, basically.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Flew back and forth where, for what? She didn’t have any kind of a job at that time.

          In any case, her “dream” is so clearly to marry a rich man and stop pretending to have a career.

          She is a shit, and though I am no fan of the McCain family, they certainly didn’t deserve the crap she pulled on them.

          • JFA says:

            Yeah I just think she honestly likes to fly everywhere to escape her miserable existence and feel important. So I’m sure had she landed pancakes and moved to guam, she would have gotten bored within 3.5 seconds and used any excuse possible to flee as often as she could, on his dime of course. Not sure she would have ever OBO’d though as he was the best seh was ever gonna do in terms of some modicum of fame, family name and money. Poor gal.

          • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

            Please – had she actually moved to Guam and become a milt. wife (even a girlfriend) she could’ve easily written a book about THAT.

            I know I know…. I heard it. SHE can’t easily write anything…

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Lily Burana’s book about being a military spouse was quite good.

    • EyeRoller says:

      Thank you for sharing that. One more group who’s proud to NOT claim her.

      • Donkarena says:

        same here…Donkey isn’t used to real life where serious issues such as sacrifice, honor, duty (can’t even cough up 4 emails a week?), life and death are actual components. Here on earth, where the rest of us dwell. My thanks, too, for sharing.

    • bitchface says:

      Julia’s dreams were having a “marriage” be all about Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee, and an army/navy/et all dude would be putting God & Country first, and she wasn’t having none o’ that cuz’ it would quash her dreams!

    • emma bourricot says:

      Agreed, all of this.

  17. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    OT: This morning I had a long, complex, pathos-rich dream about RRR. Then I got up and my six year old son announced he wants to be a Haunted Minion for Halloween, which is, according to him, “A wooden golem type.”

  18. EyeRoller says:

    Many women wear tiaras on the INSIDE. It’s called self-respect.

  19. Sake Bombardier says:

    Skrillex deserves what’s coming.

  20. EyeRoller says:

    She thinks that tiara is a hood ornament, but what she doesn’t realize is that she’s driving a mother fucking CLUNKER.

    Pull over honey before you break down.

  21. JFA says:

    I love this blurb from one of her military lovin’ rants:

    “Honestly, aside from Kimberly (my girl friend who went to the Naval Academy and for whom I was maid of honor in her wedding to my friend – and former boss – Senator Kirk)…”

    FUCK NO ONE CARES. NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHO YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH OR WHY AND NO ONE IS IMPRESSED. HOLY HELL. She really thinks her life is a goddamn rom com that everyone is watching with baited breath. There was NO REASON to throw in that aside about who Kimberly is and why they are friends and who she is married to. Also, isn’t Kirk a flaming homo?

    I can’t stand her ass.

    • JFA says:

      Wow, you worked for a closeted gay Republican senator you only got a job with through connections with your Daddy. Slow clap.

      Also, way to be liberal. Most liberals I know TOTALLY accept jobs with Republican senators.

    • JFA says:

      Let’s count the humblebrags in there. I have a friend. My friend is in the Naval Academy. I am so special she chose me as her Maid of honor. Did I mention she married a Senator? And that I am ont only close friends with this senator but worked for him? Not sure anyone caught that but…these are all very important people who love me tremendously and once I had a job.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Classic JA-ism. Loved how someone called her out on the name-dropping after the Elle.com piece.

        “I am NOT name-dropping!! I only mentioned their names so they’d know how much their gifts meant to me!!!!”

        Uh, ok.

        • EyeRoller says:

          Amen. If you’re not name dropping, then stop dropping their fucking names!!!!!

        • Donkarena says:

          yes, the humblebrags and namedropping are transparent and tiresome — I dream of a day in the future when her exclamation point wears out, too.

          • Donkarena says:

            ….and dropping the name of her “financial guru” who is a conman is not lost on those of us with brain cells, either.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          heaven forbid she send a thank you note. its was probably writer’s block that prevented her from doing so.

        • JFA says:

          I’m sure they dont’ give a shit, asshole. Besides all your famous friends are prob sick by now of your asskissing, can’t stand you, and don’t read your drivel. Try harder.

  22. Jordache & the Pelts says:

    Hey, did anyone catch guest James Frey tell host Andy that he enjoys “Miss Advised” on WWHL last night? He says he keeps Bravo on while he writes and he is a “big fan of the girls.” Surprised Julia hasn’t picked up on this given her penchant for both bold name publishing types and grifters. She shoud be tweeting him by now.

    • cola champagne says:

      They should get along. They both like to make shit up.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      He is raking in big cash now from his sweatshop books. I hate him so.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      He has a beautiful, sweet, smart, and funny wife — who comes from a privileged background, but isn’t a showoff about it. In other words, everything Donkey isn’t, but would kill to be/have.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      I hate James Frey like hellmouth.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Agree. He’s not half as likable as Jayson Blair, let alone Jonah Lehrer.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I loathe this neckless assclown.

        And I have since I read this:

        http://observer.com/2006/01/meet-the-new-staggering-genius-5/

        “Hanging on one wall of the loft were two Picassos, two Matisses, a Dalí and a watercolor by Henry Miller. Mr. Frey said he maxed out a number of credit cards buying them over the years, in Chicago, Paris and L.A. (He said he paid off the credit cards “a long, long, long time ago.”) At one point, two Latina housekeepers were folding Mr. Frey’s white bed linens. He said it was a one-time indulgence.”

        FUCK you, you neckbeard-wearing cocksucking self-fingering money-fattened faux thug.

        My only wish is that you hurl yourself from the tallest building your pudgy-gutted carcass can manage to scale and that the resulting shrapnel should ricochet off J.T. Leroy.

  23. CaptainGary says:

    Thanks for this post, bee-tee-dubs…it sent me down a rabbit hole of Pancakes-era Jankles-by-way-of-RBD. Man, was she delusional then – well, delusional in a different way, anyway.

    The things that stand out especially are how one commenter absolutely nailed that when they break up, she would squat in the Coronado condo until being forced to leave, not to mention the complete fabrications about the seriousness of the relationship and attempts to portray herself as a “girlfriend” to a military guy; i.e. commenting about what he eats, tweeting to Cindy, trying out the military lingo, trying to put together a calendar for their shared events (!) and nagging/emasculating him. Looking back on all this, it’s so funny how ALL these lies were only made possible by the fact that he’s a bit of a dummy (how did he do at the USNA, again? If only we knew!) and cared not a whit about having an online presence OR the online fabulations of his “girlfriend.”

    Good times.

  24. LetItExplode says:

    I just watched the Prom episode. It felt like I was watching an RBNS parody of a Julia Allison date. She is way more disturbed than I ever imagined.

    JULIA! I know you’re reading this. I have compassion for you. Please seek help. We all have our issues. Go back to Chicago and stay with your parents and get extensive therapy. There is hope. Your family l You cry way too often to be OK. Therapy can help you. Not psychics. Actual therapy. Three times a week to start.

  25. LetItExplode says:

    I just watched the Prom episode. It felt like I was watching an RBNS parody of a Julia Allison date. She is way more disturbed than I ever imagined.

    JULIA! I know you’re reading this. I have compassion for you. Please seek help. We all have our issues. Go back to Chicago and stay with your parents and get extensive therapy. There is hope. Your family loves you. You cry way too often to be OK. Therapy can help you. Not psychics. Actual therapy. Three times a week to start.

    • Donkarena says:

      So true! speaking of her parents and family: I am just now watching the premiere episode — just watched the scene at her parents’ house where the cab picks her up for the airport. I liked her family — you’re absolutely right, they would support her getting help.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Her parents appear to be encouraging her, not attempting to provide emotional/mental stability.

        • Donkarena says:

          you’re right — I am reminded of the dad who tries to sue everybody who doesn’t like his “journalist” daughter

  26. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    Are we talking about this yet? http://robincantrell.com/

    (you’ll know it when you see it)

    • Arl says:

      What has been seen cannot be unseen.

      • CDB says:

        Thats for sure

      • A colossus of scheme juices and failure (fka Donkeycam Now!!) says:

        Her vagina is weird.

        I think all that dancing, with the splits and the turns and the jumping, is not good for your vagina.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          You see this is my thing. I am no vagina-hater, don’t get me wrong. But I think past a certain age, a little muff is a good thing. Fully bald vaginas really only work in your 20s. Then things start to … well … sag a bit, no? And that’s when pubic hair, just a bit, not a massive, mammoth bush, serves a purpose. A little landing strip, even.

          Just my two cents.

          I was proud of Drunk Amy in that “Never Have I Ever” game when she confessed to never having been completely bald down there, and Donk reacted in horror.

          • The shadow in the photo is making her pubic area look weirder than it probably actually does. Seems like she has a landing strip above the entrance, but it still looks strange. A little muff is good stuff.

    • Did they do that at the wedding reception?

    • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

      NSFW EVERYONE! NOT SAFE FOR YOUR EYES!

      • darling dearest says:

        i knowwww I mean i should have guessed NSFW but srsly

        NSFW

        • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

          NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW

          But if you are dying to know, it’s a photo of Jake and Robin at their reception…naked and hairless.

    • Donkarena says:

      I’m no Surgeon’s wife, but I’d say Jake doesn’t suffer from shrinkage…

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I did not want to see them nekkid. I really don’t want to see strangers nekkid, ever, except maybe Idris Elba.

      Also, his mohawk is horrible. Horrible. Horrible.

    • CDB says:

      OMG My eyes… I need bleach…[img]http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee516/bobbaer1/24382982.jpg[/img]

      • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

        My sense is that if JABa cant secure a new reality contract, she’ll get “hacked” and drop a BJ vid on the interwebs. You’ll think back on these whimsical wedding photos as the good ole days.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      I think they’re sweet.

      Their wedding looks beautiful. Simple, low-key, intimate. Can you imagine if [redacted] had married Julie? And how DIFFERENT that wedding would have been?

      The one he had:

      small group of friends and family, handmade decorations, flowers possibly from someone’s garden, her dress – vintage piece?, local band played reception (probably friends of the bride + groom), held in the backyard of friend’s place in Williamsburg, NO bridesmaids and definitely NO PINK.

      vs.

      over-the-top, hideous, looks like a cotton candy factory exploded, hundreds of guests, held in very large church, reception at the University Club near the OMG! Downtown Condo!, too many to count bridesmaids all dressed in matching pink taffeta, photographer, videographer, social media coordinator, catered by super expensive 4 star restaurant, top florist, wedding gown custom made by very expensive shop, Crystal champagne, chocolate fountain, poor Lilly forced to walk down the aisle as the ring bearer because OMG! isn’t that the cutest thing ever to see your dog walk down the aisle??? and Julie pulling out her pink bedazzled iPhone the moment she hears ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’ to update her FB status to ‘Married, fuckers!’

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I agree.

      • Donkeycam Now! says:

        I think they are just pretentious in a different, I-dont-want-to-look-pretentious kind of way.

        Is it more tolerable than a hypothetical Donkey wedding? Of course, but that is a bit like saying Assad’s human rights policies are better than Hitler’s.

        • Donkarena says:

          I vote for weddings that include NOT seeing the groom’s penis. Ever.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Did they do that in front of their guests (and family)? Or was it a private moment (among the bride, groom, and photographer)?

          • bitchface says:

            does it matter if they posted them on the internet? sorry but in some ways no better fame whores than Julia Allison just because they call it “art” and she calls it whatever the fuck she calls it

            Wow. I so want to unsee that. I never want to see the groom’s penis and bride’s ‘please eat a sammich’ bald vagina with their shoes on! NOT SEXY. Cannot unsee.

          • bitchface says:

            why the hell would you want your parents to see your artsy naked wedding pictures?

            Gross. I just kant with any of these people.

        • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

          I hate hate hate these types of “aren’t we so unique” and down to earth weddings that are anything but unique or down to earth. Yuck. He’s trying just as hard to look authentic as she is.

      • Anon says:

        They’re in the backyard of Roberta’s in Bushwick. It could not BE a more hipster wedding.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Given the fact that they are naked I hope to hell it was intimate.

        Because if I was a guest and this was the big reveal, the wedding gift would be repurposed as blunt object so fast it would have its own doppler shift.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        “Definitely no pink.”

        Except, y’know, her freshly shaved hoo-ha.

    • fig says:

      Dude, just because her husband dated Julia at some point is no reason to show me her labia.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Well now, that may be an explanation for Donkey’s wide stance

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Yay, well-balanced non-fameball couple for the win, as soon as we find one.

  27. BLB says:

    Ew. Btw, NSFW everybody.

  28. BLB says:

    Oops, that was in reply to BeebBeeb’s comment.

  29. Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon says:

    I just wanted to come back and apologize. I watched some more episodes of this shitshow, and now get this site. Julia is a complete sociopath who can’t keep any of her lies straight.
    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to shit some fruit salad into our best china for our children while Dr. Sturgeon strums his guitar.

    • CDB says:

      new avatar?

    • Donkarena says:

      Well done, Sturgeon’s wife! By the power vested in me by RBD, I hereby restore you to Sane and Decent Person status, with all rights and privileges thereto.

    • IS this sane person, or parody of sane person?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      The real “sane person,” also known as The Surgeon’s Wife, is back in the previous thread. Oh. Dear.

      • CDB says:

        sturgeon’s wife…. fixed that for you

      • CDB says:

        maybe we should just ignore her…..

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          It wouldn’t matter either way: the only voices she acknowledges are the one’s in her head.

          Dear Mrs. Colonel Donkey’s Fried Sturgeon:

          I didn’t see your first message because .

          Still, I would like to give you a few pointers on internet commenting [and life]: Select a willing audience, choose an appropriate tone and stay on message. Otherwise you will be mercilessly mocked by people who don’t give a shit, wouldn’t listen to a shrill harpy even if they agreed with her and can’t figure out what you’re saying in the first place.

          Regards,

          WP

    • Hunter Gorham says:

      Did you ask him the question about my scrotum?

      • CDB says:

        she is actually on the second date BJ page again.

      • Donkarena says:

        bwahaha! Next time she shows up, let’s all, IN ORDERLY FASHION, ask our medical questions for her husband. I can’t be bothered to get out of this basement to go to the doctor. Everyone stares — especially the secret spies that tail my every move.

  30. A colossus of scheme juices and failure (fka Donkeycam Now!!) says:

    OT: Watch out, cat ladies! The paradigm is about to be toppled!

    [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/21n2oie.jpg[/img]

    • MissAssvice says:

      I see she has been using her word of the day calendar again. She really needs to quit trying to impress whatever wallet she is chasing right now.

    • melting marionette says:

      Does she pronounce it “pay-rah-DIG-em”?

  31. Donkarena says:

    I just watched how she used Craigslist Justin to move boxes and then dumped him. What a bitch.

    • CDB says:

      But he said vile racist things off camera. She was doing it for All the minority Gurls.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        Allegedly, and Flusher didn’t back her up. The rape card, the bully card, the race card–when caught in a jam, Julie will sink as low as possible in her dissembling.

      • Donkarena says:

        Oh…she is so very noble…

  32. AFGHANI says:

    OT, but the married guy that Julia had an affair with while she was engaged to that SoCal lawyer has a Twitter profile description that says, simply, “Serial entrepreneur”. Has this been mentioned before. Is this where she got that term?

Comments are closed.