Is This The Latest Victim of America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen?

 

So remember this dude? The bare-chested hottie also known as Coffee Bar dude?

His most recent Facebook cover photo, uploaded 18 hours ago, is a shot of him skydiving. In Hawaii, apparently. With an immediate comment under the photo from a donkey, saying: “You are such a badass!”

He’s into Tony Robbins. And he’s also in Flusher Price’s really bad 72-point checklist song. He’s a hot piece of ass. Yet he’s apparently boning a donkey.

Huh.

I wonder if she blew him on the second date? And if he’s really proud to be dating a chick who confessed to blowing another dude on the second date to a national television audience?

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525 Responses to Is This The Latest Victim of America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen?

  1. Iknowdoyou says:

    My question, how much money is he getting paid for this gig?

  2. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    He went to a Timothy Sykes lecture.
    He is dating/boning a donkey.

    So then, he is clearly a grifter and a huge tool.

    On the bright side for a Donkey, if he’s a grifter and a huge tool, maybe there’s some staying power with this one. He might find her vile, narcissistic, sociopathic nature charming. Or he might be so wrapped up in his own BS that he doesn’t notice/doesn’t care.

  3. Albie Quirky says:

    Aaaaand he just made his Facebook private.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I can still see the bare minimum. It wasn’t wide-open but I can see his cover shot and three other photos.

    • JFA says:

      LOL this guy is obviously a winner. You’d think he might have thought of that before, because well FOR EVERY REASON THAT EVER EXISTED.

      Obvious brains to go with the braun.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Ha, I was Miss Led. There are two “Devin Stetler” Facebooks: here, with skydiving, and here with nothing.

      He’s the only Devin Stetler in the US, for what that’s worth.

  4. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Oh wait, oh lord. He also took her to the Tony Robbins thing?

    Holy crap, he really is a huge grifter. That is just too f-ing funny.

    That tweet is also hysterical. A metaphor for overcoming one’s limitations? How so genius? The point the original tweeter was trying to make was that there is nothing wondrous or special or difficult about doing it. The physics dictates that there are no limitations. There’s nothing to overcome in doing it.

    So he’s a stupid grifter at that. Well done Donkey. Well done.

    I imagine the big reveal of their relationship is coming. Pull up a chair, the Donkey show is about to get really really good.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Private Facebook doesn’t say “I’m excited to be dating a Big Media Celebrity”…

      Also, dude seems on the broke side.

      • Fashion Girl says:

        He does not strike me as a “high status marker”. But after this week with the Penny Stock King, brother gonna be rollin’!

        • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

          Rollin’ in sheets from the Pottery Barn ‘Kill Me Now!’ collection, dog hair and expired Donkey tears, but rollin’ nonetheless.

          • Fashion Girl says:

            All of these things are true.

            Also: while he does not strike me as a “high status marker”, he does in fact strike me as a mouth breather.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          For his sake, I hope so. Doesn’t he know that Julia is a very important angel investor!

  5. Fashion Girl says:

    I legitimately didn’t even know that Tony Robbins was still a “thing”. All of the nitwits I know who believe in this type of garbage all moved on to “The Secret” a while back. Is “The Secret” declassé now? Is Tony Robbins so old he’s new again? Wherever shall I turn for advice about how to harness positive energy forces to find love, success and happiness? I feel so off trend.

    • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

      Nothing says “vintage vixen” like a Deepak Chopra lunchbox, Wayne Dyer roller skates and a tinfoil chapeau. Hope that helps, bunny!

    • Jordache & the Pelts says:

      Julia will be getting her e-meter read and watching a free film within the year.

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      I’m a little surprised Donkey hasn’t mentioned The Forum (formerly known as est), given her love for Lululemon.

      • CDB says:

        You mean EST ( you can’t leave the room to pee) still exists as The Forum and it has something to do with Lululemon? I must do the Google.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          It’s Landmark, another est spinoff. Story here.

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          Yes, the people who own Lululemon are so heavily involved in The Forum that they pressure their employees into attending seminars.

        • miss assvice says:

          Yep good old landmark, forum or EST. Scam o plenty. I have left companies over that shit. Middle management requiring participation and hounding everyone to attend. They prey on people that are vulnerable with their multilevel marketing crap. It is sick and disgusting.

          • Badonkeydonk says:

            Lululemon preys on me with chronic cameltoe.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            Badonkey, that made me guffaw. <3

          • Donkarena says:

            Hate that crap. a co-worker tried to get me into that MLM energy “chip”, which was just a piece of tape you stick on yourself — told me it aligned your “chakra”….I told her “no, thanks”. Then she had a friend (her upline) drop in and casually mention how wonderful they were in their conversation. I just ignored them.

      • Jordache & the Pelts says:

        That shit is really messed up, had my own experience/encounters (a friend paid for as a gift a “personal development” seminar, I went because im polite and was curious, begged off immediately when i saw the bola). They’re really friendly and call forever so she’ll love that.
        My last name is Hubbard and lived right by the Scientology HQ in DC for many years (finally shut down) and those bpeople would bug the shit out of me on my way home from work with their tests. Once I told them I was already in a 12 step program out of exasperation and they said they could cure me in 10.
        Also, my brother in law’s father invented the e-meter with two tin cans when he was roomies with L. Ron Hubbard – he laughs about it, unaware of the hell he helped spawn).
        Can’t wait for the new Paul Thomas Anderson epic!

        • Edward R. Burro says:

          Was that the one in Dupont Circle? When did it shut down? I’m just curious because I lived in DC for a long time before I moved back to Boston last year.

          • Jordache & the Pelts says:

            I just found out it just closed (yay!) – during a conversation in France of all places – haven’t been to that part of Dupont in a couple of months so haven’t seen for myself. It’s great real estate but probs totally tainted.

          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            I remember when the Dupont headquarters first opened. Scientologists would try to come onto the GUTS bus (Georgetown University Transportation System) and try to distribute literature. The city quickly restricted their aggressive recruiting.

        • Jack the Bulldog says:

          Is all this stuff on the level, or am I just naive? PT Anderson should be canonized.

          • Jordache & the Pelts says:

            What level? Thetan? The trailer for Anderson’s The Master looks awesome:
            http://www.vulture.com/2012/07/the-master-trailer-paul-thomas-anderson-joaquin-phoenix.html
            BTW my brother in laws father was living with L Ron in DC when he came up with the e-meter.
            Anderson grew up in Rockville where he was good friends with a guy who became a promising video artist who got kinda of messed up with his gf/wife and committed double suicide a few years back, it was the talk of the art world. It was all really awful and sad. I was friends with Jeremy separately , and dont know Paul, but I suspect that he suspects that some Scientology-related thing contributed to the tragedy, and hence he is exploring the topic in the new film. that’s just my suspicion, I don’t have insider info or anything. At any rate, Anderson has always been interested in these cults of personality and can’t wait for the new film!

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Maybe some old school woo will set you right!

      [img]http://www.darwinharmless.com/thoughts_and_comments/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/orgone-box-diagram.jpg[/img]

  6. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    A reading list that’s a far cry from The Atlantic, Wired and The Economist:

    http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/8213653-devin-stetler?shelf=read

    • Fashion Girl says:

      The Lexile ranges represented in that list are maybe 6th grade at best.

    • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

      Well, if he likes painfully juvenile, over-wrought fantasy, you can see how he’d be attracted to Donkey.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I am slain. It’s not just that he loves Halo books; they’re not even the good Halo books!

      • AFGHANI says:

        a) There are good Halo books?

        b) Well at least he’s a reader! Unlike PromKing who somehow got a law degree and passed the Bar the 1st time, despite not reading enough for JuLiar.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I was being overly snarky–FALL OF REACH and CONTACT HARVEST are both good. He’s missing CRYPTUM, though, which is the best.

          Who says book reviewing doesn’t broaden your horizons?

        • cola champagne says:

          There are Halo books? I used to work at Barnes & Noble, and I can’t believe I’m about to say it, but I truly NEVER.

    • JFA says:

      I’m confused…with this reading list he totally fails her “fascinating” and “brilliant” requirements. Yet, still they are dating. Nothing makes sense anymore.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        Maybe Devin Stetler–wasn’t there a nighttime soap opera character with the same name–will be getting right to Jeanette Winterson and Zadie Smith’s latest after he finishes the HALO series?

      • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

        I think the Big Reveal at the end of the series is gonna be Juliar found LOVE! for realz! even though he satisfies NONE of her checklist points!

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          You might be right. The show stopped filming in May. Were the coffee bar shots in April? Don’t make me go back and look. If so, then perhaps this will be the hint of a happy ending for America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            What about DeStorm, then? If she was dating Dale Gribble or whatever his name is, why the big push to convince you she was dating DeStorm?

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            That was late April. It was before she’d started dating this guy, I think.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            DeStormgate was April 23. Waldorf Statler was indeed mid-May.

            I still don’t think Waldorf Statler is going to be on the show. Nor do I think they’re seriously dating.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I bow to your mastery of Donkology; I had remembered those events in reverse order somehow!

          • Donkey Ho-Tay says:

            I hope Julia Allison doesn’t read the phrase Blowjob Queen and try to take on the persona of early 90s Liz Phair.

          • mcakez says:

            Donkey Ho-Tay – Oh-em-gee, I love that song. It reminds me of when I was just starting college, got my 65 Buick, and used to cruise around because there was nothing better to do than drive endlessly with friends and listen to mix tapes on the shitty tape deck insalled by the guy who owned the car before me. That was when gas was still 99 cents a gallon. /nostalgia trip

          • Donkey Ho-Tay says:

            MCakez – I was a little too young to be driving at the time, more like listening to the CD over and over on my Discman. But those were the days, weren’t they?

            Randomly, googling “Liz Phair Julia Allison” takes you to Emily Gould’s old blog where I learned that they both went to the same high school. Funny how Liz Phair is 45 while Julia just looks it.

        • Donkarena says:

          …perhaps a sculptor from the Arizona desert, who lives simply and has no wifi…..NAH…

    • helobabe says:

      I’m REALLY hoping this kicks off a Twilight narrative. They can be the new KStew and RPatts.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        Julia will reveal an affair with a Titty Blondie (or whatever Tisdale’s production company is called) director all the while she was seeing strange barrista. oh the controversy as legions are invested in the franchise. imagine her cleanup on twitter (as Bravo or Elle.com will certainly be no longer running her puddle)

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      Keep that Halo in the air.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      I’m sure this guy will be starting on the RBD reading list any day now. Isn’t it ironic that all of us catladies and catgents score higher on Donkey’s checklist than the person she’s actually dating?

  7. Malformed Face says:

    I love a Donkey in love. The higher she is, the more epically cray she’ll be when she ineviably fucks it up!

  8. JFA says:

    The picture accompanying this post will never stop being hilarious.

  9. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    And by the way, if a cat lady tipped us off to this, please raise your paw now. Because if not, I will assume she sent the tip herself. It must have been KILLING her that we wrongfully assumed she was there with the Tim “Pillsbury Doughboy” Sykes.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I am not going to believe she’s dating anyone until the guy acknowledges the relationship on social media. She lies like an ugly, smelly pink rug.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        I won’t settle for anything less than a tweet from his sister with her approval of the relationship.

      • Hunter Gorham says:

        With Lilly’s poop on it.

      • AFGHANI says:

        Remember, if it’s not in your facebook status, you might as well be single! (-JaBa, in her international social media “column” she wrote for more than 100+ newspapers)

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Breathe easy, everyone, the tipster has been back in touch and assures me that he/she is not Donk. Thank Greg!

      • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

        Did the tipster have any further insights into how far down the aisle they are? I really want this one to work out for Donkey. The wedding will be hilarious, but her attempts to play out the divorce on Page Six will be the best thing ever.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          Don’t see this one working out. If he likes photo shoots and she likes photo shoots, who will take the pictures?

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I am guessing it’s just a FB friend of the dudes who put the pieces together, that’s all, and is perhaps wondering why his/her friend is doing America’s Favorite Second Date Blow Job Queen. But I don’t know. The information was minimal.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            OMG, I am so proud of “America’s Second Favorite Date Blowjob Queen” that I am adding it to the headline.

            We should start doing this: Julia Allison, America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen, …. whenever we refer to her.

          • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

            This explains a lot for me…her willingness to look like a perfect tool on television, her smugness despite the freakshow going on on the series…she is in LOVE y’all, and the show’s happy ending will redeem her crazy ass!

          • “America’s Second Date Blowjob Queen”

            Why isn’t that in her byline???

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            She needs to wear this like a scarlet letter if she has any chance at getting a man after the show.

          • Donkarena says:

            that’s what worked for Kim Kardashian, after all…

  10. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Why do I think his feet stink?

    Why?

    Why, Greg, why?

  11. OT, but whatever. I’ve had this window open on my computer all day, so cute:

    http://nyc6.viewnetcam.com:5236/CgiStart?page=Single&Language=0

    He’s a kitty named Levi who is currently under treatment for hyperthyroid. I donated a little bit of money via NYC Urgent Cats so he can get cured and (hopefully) adopted by a loving family, and they sent me this link so I can check in on him via webcam. Watch him nap and stretch :)

    Just felt like sharing!

  12. Dr. Gary says:

    Christine Kelly FTW:

    [img]http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/9716/jafb8112.jpg[/img]

    • How good was this friend that you not only don’t know when her birthday is, but you forgot that you already wished her a HBD a month ago?

      And yeah, you really bought her a belated present? Or were you going to send her some expired gift cards?

      • Jordache & the Pelts says:

        Julia must be bombarded by the millions of birthday notifications from her overseas FB admirers. hard won fame must be overwhelming. FB is how I keep track of my freind’s birthdays, it’s pretty reliable.

        • I keep track that way, too (does anyone use address books anymore?), but I’m pretty sure I can recall whether or not I wished someone a HBD, especially “good friends.”

          lol, life must be tough when you have 7,000 “friends” and half of them don’t even speak your language (NPD).

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            I am terrible with birthdays and even worse with FB, so it never saves me. I anticipate that one day I’ll get to programming my life with reminders. One day…. soon…ish.

          • Jordache & the Pelts says:

            The great thing about taking a second each day to wish your (real) friends “happy birthday” on FB over the years is that when your birthday hits people remember and you get all these birthday wishes and you feel fantastic! I generally hate my own birthday but getting hundreds of birthday wishes from people you actually know is a healthy ego booster.

          • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

            Ugh. Today is my birthday and my mother remembered but no FB wishes. Probably should have signed up for the dang ‘birthday reminder’ thingy. :) I’m too old to care I guess.

          • New Year New You says:

            Happy Birthday DLM! Fakebook birthday wishes are insincere and lazy anyway.

          • Donkarena says:

            Happy Birthday, DLM! I got your present a month ago!…:)

    • CaptainGary says:

      Why must everyone be a “good friend” or “an ex, who I’m still friends with” or “one of my best friends Randi Zuckerberg” with this chick? Does she think someone is going to ask “Who’s this friend and how would you classify your friendship?” Or are the qualifying details the sign of an inveterate (and, let’s face it) unskilled liar?

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Because everyone who meets her loves her forever…except Jelly D, and Pancakes, and countless cateeps. Err, oops.

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        No, Capt. she LICHERALLY (who said this yesterday, because it is awesome) wants to present that in such a manner that as heinous as anyone may know her to be/find her, she’s still friends with people who have chosen – at the end of the day – to NEVER THE DONKEY. She needs the world to know this because it’s a form of validation. “EX-BF! But we still totally talk and are friends!”

        When that kind of relationship exists it doesn’t really need announcement or explanation; a donkey does it to explain away her crazy because look – guys who were with her don’t find her THAT repulsive as to remain friendly or still communicate! Pity that a donkey doesn’t understand how men – excuse me, BOYS – operate.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Christine Kelly: OF COURSE the belated present was a lie.

      Her friends are truly surprised when they catch her lying? How can they be?

    • JFA says:

      This story is so fucjing stupid and shows how lame she is on so very many levels. Not funny, humblebraggy, faux self deprecating, try too hard…it’s really all there, perfectly encapsulated. Christ.

      It’s a bday. Calm down. It’s not that serious. I forgot to even call my brother on his last bday. No shits were really given because he turned 37 not 12. Grow up. Fb bday walls are so irritating.

  13. With my financial guru Tim in Hawaii! (Note: we are not dating, although I *did* set him up with a friend of mine, Amy Laurent!) — with Tim Sykes in Honolulu, HI.

    Not sure if someone posted this already, just thought it was interesting that she emphasized that she’s not dating Tim Skyes. Never reads here.

    It kinda looks like she has ankles in this pic:[img]https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/560904_10100170157774265_1618583978_n.jpg[/img]

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Never reads here and I can see the ankle distinction for about a millisecond before the flinestones under water come into view. No. Tim looks better with those specs.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      What the fuck is she wearing? Her dead grandmother’s bathing costume from the 1920s?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Lol forever.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      They look like a married couple from Boulder, CO celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary. He has his own insurance business. She’s a stay at home mom. They have 3 kids: Kyle, Kayla and Krissy. They enjoy bowling and gardening. And usually spend their weekends shuttling the kids around to their various soccer/baseball/basketball/football games and practices.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        That would be the closest she could get to her career goal of being a glamorous trophy wife. But she would fuck it up looking for an OBO like she does with everything.

      • Dying. It’s the matchy-match of the blue mu-mu and the floral dad shorts.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Kayla and Krissy are twins and very athletic. Mom worries that they might be lesbians. She spends a lot of time on the internet, googling ‘what are the signs that your daughter is a lesbian’.

        She had that *special friend* in college. But that’s something in the past now. Sometimes, late at night, when the house is quiet and she can’t sleep, she thinks back to Lisa and wonders what she’s up to now. It crosses her mind to try and find her on facebook. But then she stops herself, thinking what’s the point?

      • AFGHANI says:

        Boulder is one of the most health-obsessed cities in America and both of them are lumpy and dumpy. Also, gardening is generally a hobby of the introspective, nurturing, and well educated; these two are selfish dumb grifters. Replace Boulder with Dallas and gardening with self-improvement seminars.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Gardening isn’t exclusive, even remotely so, to the “well-educated” (unless your definition of “gardening” is limited to cultivating miniature Bonsai trees, maybe).

          • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

            Forget it, he’s rolling…

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I know, Effing, I know, but Ima bite anyway, cuz it’s always entertaining when Aff tries to substantiate claims he pulls out of his ass …

            FOR THE RECORD: The American Fitness Index has only one Colorado city listed, & it ain’t Boulder.

            Anticipating Aff’s rebuttal (‘the close proximity of Denver to Boulder makes it so!’), all I can say to that skewed logic is that since my state has four cities listed & his state has none, obvs I am in far superior physical shape than he, right?

            [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DR9o7xaEXns/TNwdX23bERI/AAAAAAAACDw/O6pgvw3wScM/s1600/sisyphuscas.jpg[/img]

        • Anon says:

          Afghani, for every unnecessarily political or obnoxious comment you make, I make a donation to a GOP super PAC. Keep it up. I enjoy this game.

          • AFGHANI says:

            so you want to support the Koch Brothers and “too big to fail”/anti-gay rights/anti-choice politicians because I suggested that, generally speaking, a) gardening isn’t a big hobby for selfish yobs and b) dumpy chavs with wrist tattoos are more common in Dallas than Boulder?

            OK then.

          • Ex Spurt says:

            Dear Anon, I hope you have a fat wallet.

      • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

        Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon … she will realize that she’ll never even get there. THAT is way too good for the Donkey.

    • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

      I’m so confused. Julia used to write about dating Mr. Big types — didn’t she and Little Julia write some inane article in which they mentioned dating investment bankers?

      If anyone could even remember Tim Sykes anymore, they’d laugh and laugh and laugh. He’s really a piece of shit who has the worst Patrick Bateman aspirations without the money or connections to back it up. Dealbreaker used to regularly make fun of him, but he’s not even relevant enough to cover anymore. The only finance-y thing he ever did was get lucky on a few trades in his dorm room… and then promptly lost all the money.

      This guy has nothing Julia wants. No education. No family money. No glamorous career. Has she really sunk this low? Part of me hardly believes it.

      So she’s not even trying to land a founder anymore?

      • Can-Swiss says:

        If Tim Sykes is such a fantastic financial wiz, why is he holding seminars? What a scammer.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          Short answer: so he can sell information products. It’s something those types all aspire to do. They pretend it’s just their way of sharing the wealth, nothing to do with profit. Pure BS.

          A friend’s dad, a financial planner and member of Mark Matson’s cult, talks about nothing but trying to hold seminars and sell information products.

          • Donkarena says:

            I read an expose on Amway and that’s one of the angles they play — it’s the motivational and educational ‘tools’ that they sell the downlines that makes the real money…

      • Donkarena says:

        Even worse, she’s a D-lister who’s cross promoting another D-lister!

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Why is Amy okay with taking Donkey’s leftovers? She’s just gonna bray, first chance she gets, that she made out/blew/fucked him first. Can you imagine if she set some couple up and they ended up married? “I knew Tim and Amy would be perfect for each other. After I blew Tim for some shoes, I said , ‘you must meet Amy!’”

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      My financial guru?

      Who has a financial guru? Who says that? Who thinks like that?

      She is such a f-ing fail at life.

      Everything she says and does is so painful it burns.

      I was going to proceed to breakdown the many ways in which this is stupid but I think I’ll leave it just the words themselves. WHO TALKS LIKE THAT???

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Who has a financial guru? Who says that? Who thinks like that?

        Small-timers who don’t have lots of money, and don’t really know truly wealthy people. Most who really are seriously well-off don’t brag about it and don’t draw unwanted attention (makes them a target for scammers, beggars, robbers, etc.).

      • Donkarena says:

        I thought the same thing — just a form of donkey bragging.

      • It strikes me as one of those “U and non-U” language markers — basically, there are words and phrases middle-class people use because they *think* upper-class people use them. But the language use backfires because those words and phrases are Big Red Flags that they are middle-class people trying to be upwardly mobile by using “rich-people” words. (It’s somewhat similar to the phenomenon of hypercorrection, where people take a rule they’ve learned — like “you and I” in the subjective case instead of “you and me” (proper in the objective case) — and turn it into universal usage.)

        Anyhow, Juliar in general reminds me of U and non-U brought to light in an entire realm of lifestyle, not just language. She’s always trying to “perform” as someone far, far ahead of her station in life, not just in terms of money but (especially) in terms of personal style, decorum, living situation, relationships, whatever. She’s constantly playing as though she’s better off than she is, but the fact that it’s so transparent is her “tell.”

        • Saying “I” when one should say “me” is a pet peeve of mine, and it’s usually said by someone who is trying to sound smarter than they actually are. The language of pretenders.

    • JFA says:

      She’s large. Body snark commence.

    • My Elle Readers Will Want To Hear This says:

      Wow. That is one HORRIBLY unflattering photo of her.

  14. i may or may not have blown jellyd says:

    this picture is so obviouy staged, from the open shirt to the matching blue gold toed socks, from the air-brushed abs to the super glue she used to keep lily in that position on the couch. save lily!!!! don’t worry though, there will be compensation — gift card’s in the mail!

  15. The Missing Davos Report says:

    Some new Miss Advised videos – specifically check out the “Never Have I Ever”…

    http://www.bravotv.com/miss-advised/season-1/videos

    AK Kitty blast away if this has been discussed already…

    • Princess WideStance says:

      I was just coming here to post that. Amy looks and sounds re-re. Donkey has some major falsies.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Speaking of D0nkey’s falsies …
        [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/2mevknq.png[/img]
        … look at the difference in her pisshole eyes …

        • Jack the Bulldog says:

          Did she steal Jenna Jameson’s eyelashes?! Tiaragate–never forget!

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Heh. Also, listing D0nkey’s beej recipient as her “date” when he’s telling her he will not be there wasn’t at all an uh, oops, er spoiler, now was it?
            [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/2l8ul1y.png[/img]

    • Pelterina says:

      One thing that alway sticks out to me in the videos where Julia, Amy, and Emily are together is that Emily & Amy tend to wear outfits that sit well together. I’m not saying they coordinate outfits (although if I were on the teevees, I totally would just to make sure it didn’t look garish) but it seems telling to me that Julia never fits in their color scheme.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        I could only make it through 45 seconds of one the trio vids, the one in which America’s Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen cops to screwing two brothers–”not at the same time”–until Amy’s nails on blackboard voice and the 34 year old’s tendency to use “like” every other word made me close the page.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Donks looks like shit in that video. Her boobs look enormous. What’s going on there? Also fake crying. It looks like she might have done some real crying right before she taped this though.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Also can anyone tell what the healer dude says to her right before she gives that really confused look?

    • AFGHANI says:

      why does Julia’s voice sound like Ed Rendell’s?

        • Exhausted Drag Hag says:

          More than Rizzo?!

          • He’s beloved in South Philly where I’m from (we even have a mural of him in the Italian Market), but he was mayor before I was born, and known for running the city like a police state.

            Rendell came to my school a few times and was always friendly, you could go up and talk to him. He’s no longer my governor, but I get excited when I see him commenting on the news.

          • AFGHANI says:

            I never really understood why Frank Rizzo was very popular around where I lived growing up. I don’t even think he was mayor anymore, I remember Wilson Goode being mayor when I was a kiddo.

          • AFGHANI says:

            Also, I can’t even imagine how ridiculous Mulia Mallison must seem to you as a South Philly denizen. I mean… this tacky, trashy suburban narcissist would be such a joke.

          • CDB says:

            I remember Frank Rizzo. I grew up in Philly too

          • If she came to my neighborhood, she would get her ass kicked. Bad.

            I think this specimen is so fascinating because I have never met anyone so ridiculous in real life. I’ve had the misfortune of befriending a girl with severe NPD, so I understand the psychology behind it, but the flailing, the wailing, the whining– if she had a tough time in NYC, she would probably die in Philly.

          • I think Rizzo was so popular because of the Italian heritage thing. Shank’s & Evelyn’s (a now defunct deli) had a portrait of Mussolini hanging on the wall. Yeah.

          • Glad to know other Philly cat peeps on here :)

          • CDB says:

            There is a good philly cheesesteak place in Norwalk on the post road. Called Tim’s he drive to philly a couple of time a week to but the sliced rib eye and amaroso rolls. as close as i have found to the real thing

  16. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    You knew there had to be a reason she was suddenly braying about Skrillex. Because sure, that’s such a logical progression from the Little Mermaid soundtrack and Taylor Swift.

  17. EyeRoller says:

    Sorry guys, I put this on last night’s post accidentally so I’m pasting here now:

    Oh Glorious Day when America’s LEAST Favorite Second Date Blowjob Queen tasmanian-devils her way through stealing oxygen and converting it uselessly into carbon dioxide and lies. Hundreds upon hundreds of comments on this site in half the time she raked in narry a baker’s dozen of total comments on her internationally renowned column “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Pig of Love” Too. Rich.

    Before I dive into today’s rich wealth of material, I found it strange that in yesterday’s http://www.makeitbetter.net article she refers to as “my most vulnerable interview ever”, she states that she believes a woman should be AGGRESSIVE and MASCULINE in her career? So you’re being pugnacious and manly by acting like a broke down holly go lightly? Naturally you have to line up a guy so you’re “happy” in “real life” by the time “reality show” ends. Maybe ZIP UP YOUR MOUTH before your nutsack of a brain gets caught in it one too many times. THAT might help a guy tolerate you.

    Let’s hope this Coffee Bar guy is a huge fan of “being close friends” after breakups. Though, does that matter anymore? He checked his free will the second he freed his willie on the DONK, turning that lukewarm, pink doorknob and sticking his dumb dick into a lucky Donkhole (he is attractive, so I guess that makes her lucky), and surrendering his twenty brain cells forever to her wrath!

    His name will be used as a subpar two cent cork to fill holes in her constantly sinking ship for the rest of eternity. Acceptance is the answer Coffee Bar guy. Go down without a fight or, you can always check out this blog.

    See, we’re giving her (and her stable of future exes) the best tips and insight EVER and all she does is flip her middle piggy toe at us? D-Bag McHoofenstein thinks we don’t get it. Well she’s right– We DON’T get it, we don’t WANT it, and we don’t want to get it either.

    Ignorant, sad, and DECLASSE.

  18. JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

    I’m just gonna go ahead and FIRST!!1!

    Picked it back in July. Do I get a special gold star on my Donkey bingo card?

    “Has the topic of Julia’s current relationship status been discussed? If so, I’ve missed it, SS SF.
    I’ve always just assumed that the televised husband hunt came up with nada, but then I wondered if she may have actually managed to start and maintain a relationship, which is why she’s all “LOL, how desperate am I on the teevees!? (But seriously, it’s the guy’s fault, he had a girlfriend/is the son of a preacher man/ doesn’t want to be forced to do things against his will, WHAT is wrong with ALL the men!?!?) LOL! But thanks for tweeting me, I’m throwing an aggressive pink sparklicious hug at you because that’s the only way I can show affection!!”

    It’s like she doesn’t mind rolling her eyes at herself because she knows she can do the big reveal at the end. “Ta-dahhh! See, I’m not screwed up, just quirky, and I have the boyfriend to prove it.”

    Tipsters (or Jules herself) would have told us, right? If she’d managed to snare some prey?”

    http://rebloggingdonk.com/2012/07/10/julia-allison-date-rapist/#comment-381384

    • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

      Hints dropped for our benefit:
      ‏@Adriannaxxxxxxx: @JuliaAllison Will there be a reunion show!? I cant get enough!!
      ‏@JuliaAllison: @Adriannaxxxxxxx – You’re so cute, Adrianna! I hope there will be! Lots has changed for me since we shot the final episode months ago!

  19. i.just.cant! says:

    you guys. is it really that abnormal to stay close friends with exes? i mean, i think it’s a problem if you stalk them all and they’re genuinely afraid of you. but i mean, is it really emotionally unhealthy? i invited my ex to my wedding, we have regular cheery conversations, etc.

    also, that picture of juliar’s possible current piece gives me the dry heaves. she probably artfully arranged his gingham shirt to slightly expose his shaved/waxed (EW) chest and then took numerous shots to figure out which one had the best angle.
    oh julia! i hope you two live happily ever after! xxxx

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      its abnormal if you claim to be close friends with EVERY SINGLE PERSON you ever date in the history of your dating life.

    • mcakez says:

      It is only abnormal if they seemingly want nothing to do with you, you constantly reference them in the press despite them ignoring your existence, you send e-mails to their currents claiming to be deliriously happy for them and then turn around an claim overlap, you hang on for years after they’ve stopped voluntarily talking to you, or you physically accost them in public and insist they interact with you, and then out their shit in public when they run.

      Being friends with an ex is fine. Being a creepy over-sharing stalker who interferes constantly and tries to latch onto their every life accomplishment as if it is your own is not.

      • rankles the jankles says:

        It’s the constant insistence despite no one asking in the first place. Methinks the lady doth protesteth…

  20. EyeRoller says:

    A consistent DONK defense tactic is “I’m very different in person”, or “you don’t see the whole picture”. Someone please (DON’T) explain to me what is so fucking mystical about THIS FUCKING DONK in person that seems to be lacking from every interview, “article”, photo shoot, tv show, youtube clip, or tweet/plug she serves like up hot (cr)apple pie? SOMEHOW this elusive quality magically materializes in person? Nice try Donk.

    Child’s play, Jackass in Wonderland, Cheshire Cat tomfoolery. And by the by, here’s a…

    FACT: A Cinderelly Donk such as this has been known stay up WAY past midnight and avoid writing her “articles”. Guess where said Donk’s sorry ass can be found when not sucking dick at 12:01 am on the 2nd date? I’ll tell you where– Slouched over a laptop on a spruced up futon in a faded pink housecoat, her never-was coach long since turned back into a pumpkin, twirling her puce-colored hair extensions, all the while CRYING on the outside and CUMMING on the inside from reading and RE-reading this blog.

    • Donkarena says:

      another defense tactic that’s coming through in her replies to the comments on her BravoTV blog posting of July 30th: “I’ve learned my lesson and i’m not like that/don’t do that anymore.” She would have us believe she’s morphed into a mature, non-needy, non-loud, non-impulsive grown up.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        Yes, it’s subroutine 27B in the Donkey Automaton:

        THE NORMAL, EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY JULIA I AM TODAY

        INPUT: WHY YOU ACT SO WEIRD
        OUTPUT: I’VE LEARNED MY LESSON; I’M ALL BETTER NOW!

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      If that’s her excuse over & over & over, that in real life she’s not like how she’s presented, just get to know her! then HOWFUCK does she ever get away with calling herself a personal branding expert?

      Donkey, the world has caught on to your lies and failure at life.

  21. CUNTBunnies! says:

    Taking a quick break from my olympics obsession to pop in with a quickie:

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/cop5g.jpg[/img]

  22. EyeRoller says:

    If DONK would look at this ENTIRE BLOG as an “Etiquette Seminar”, she’d understand (I know I know: She’s not capable) that this could be the most honest and “groundbreaking” charm school this bitch is ever going to get FOR FREE and still– Not one salt lick of progress. Donks don’t learn. They just dig their 4-inch heels in and bray. TRUST.

    The tapdance will continue. Long after the show is over, there will be another guy, another gimmick, another “deadline”. DONK exhibits rapid Donkcycling at it’s pelted, borderline WORST and most uninteresting. THIS BLOG IS THE BEST THING ABOUT HER.

    But listen DONKZ, if it suits you and you feel cute doing it, keep shuffling those half coconut shells around trying to “keep us guessing”. You’re the one having a long-term nervous breakdown, and I’m not just talking about on the Bravo show. I mean to say you’re sharting in an upwind breeze Donkbaby because we aren’t buying what you’re selling, we aren’t picking up what you’re laying down we–well, we just AREN’T.

    Now. It’s late. Don’t you need to go delete more negative comments from your invisible ELLE column? HURRY. UP. DONK!

  23. sane person says:

    ok I’m going to rant…..and it’s going to be long, so get ready. quite frankly, i’ll start by saying I have truly no idea why I’m spending the wee hours at of my work day posting here, I guess my sense of being a good, decent person has compelled me to post. I’ll offer full disclosure: I’m a late thirties, accomplished mom who has 2 kids, owns my own (successful) business in the Northeast and is married to a surgeon. I started watching Miss Advised because I watch Bravo here and there and it looked like good “trash tv” to veg out on after a long days work, after the kids are in bed and my husband is strumming his guitar in the next room and we each have different means of unwinding. Most nights, mind you, we’re out in the city or hanging with family or friends but Bravo is always good for a silly veg out session, mostly harmless since the people who the viewers see are there voluntarily.
    I learned of this blog from the show, when Julia spoke of “those who hate her” and “call her her donkey”. Curiosity got the better of me and although I’m not an internet junkie, I searched the web to discover the nexus of her pain and found this website.
    I am both perplexed and horrified that such a website exists and after reading a few days content I am motivated to learn the truth about the meaning and purpose of WHY someone ( who, ironically, is too much of a pussy to declare their true identity yet devotes this blog to “discovering” the identity of a woman who is clearly not afraid to brave the terrors of reality either online or on national television)would spend SO MUCH time and energy hating, dissecting and judging another human being? Does it feel good to write such hateful things? Do you have so little of value in your own life that detailing the life of someone else and providing hateful judgement makes you feel good? I can’t even begin to imagine the time and effort it must take to follow all of the wheres and whens, the outfits, the words, the he saids, the she saids that the writer follows. Is someone paying you? Is that it? Is it about money? Tell me it is, please. Tell me you’re some on the fringe writer who pays their rent this way but feels bad about it. Tell me you’re a recluse who sits on the sidelines, where it SO easy to judge- because you’re not really in the game taking any risks.
    I can’t tell if you’re male or female- I’m sure that’s on purpose. I can’t tell if you know Julia or if you just hate the idea of her. The point is: who are you? what do you do? what gives you the right to say how someone should be or what they should laugh like? Most of your posts remind me of the content of notes passes in 6th grade by girls in a desperate attempt to power play one another out of a boyfriend or a prom date. Is this really what you dreamed about doing when you were young? Where do you go from here? Is there a valid career in personality assassination?
    Look, I don’t know Julia and I’m sure I never will. I have to get up in a few hours and give my kids breakfast. I don’t have my finger on the pulse of what the “cool kids” are saying or doing on some blog constructed out of paper mache and jealousy. But I do know, with absolute certainty – that whoever you are, wherever you are- you must not hold your head high or feel very good about who you are. It just never works out for people so full of hate. They always, inevitably FAIL. No one looks to them for guidance, friendship, love, trust or sage advice, in the workplace or in private life.
    If you have something to say, if you feel this woman represents some kind of falsity or dishonesty, then stand up and be a WOMAN or a MAN and say it. Hiding behind some pathetic blog is not very noble.

    • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

      Aww sweetie, I’m glad you got that out of your system. Sometimes you just gotta vent, I get that. We all do.

      At the risk of completely turning your world inside out I have to refute this: “But I do know, with absolute certainty – that whoever you are, wherever you are- you must not hold your head high or feel very good about who you are. It just never works out for people so full of hate. They always, inevitably FAIL. No one looks to them for guidance, friendship, love, trust or sage advice, in the workplace or in private life.”

      There are actually many, many great and awesome people on this site. Our heads are often held high because unlike Julia, we are hard-working, successful people who are great friends & family members.

      In life we are often turned to “for guidance, friendship, love, trust or sage advice” – heck, the off-topic comments in this here blog are frequently insightful and fabulous. No-one here has failed in the way the Julia Donkey Allison has, I can assure you.

      Go hug your kids and surgeon husband then pat yourself on the back, you’ve gotten stuff off your chest. Well done.

      • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

        PS. Hope the above revelation doesn’t make your perfectly ordered world crumble down around your ankles. Sometimes “haters” are just “point and laughers with good advice that narcissistic loons don’t want to hear”.

        • Hunter Gorham says:

          Hey, I was taking pictures of my nutsack earlier, and…well, can you ask your husband what the deal is with the seam?

          Slay it!

      • JFA says:

        I don’t think she knows how the internet works. Or “commenting” or “blogs.” Or that some of us have careers and we’d rather not have our entire internet existence spelled out for google cache forever. It’s quite hard for dullards to understand such things, because they are better than us and have no secrets etc. Surely.

        I love interracial porn too sometimes, as well as tearing Julia Allison a new asshole on the internet because she deserves it. Doesn’t mean my future employers need to know.

        Bla bla why do I bother. Some people just suck the fun out of a room, Exhibit A – that lady.

        • JFA says:

          Guaranteed she flounced too. They always do. “Hi! I’m a gigantic boring asshole! And I’m obviously quite miserable! Why do you do what you do? It’s wrong! Okay bye! I have no desire to hear countervailing viewpoints because i suck!” (peaces)

          I’m so bored with it.

        • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

          Uh, the internet works via tubes and papier-mâché, duh.

          I love how people who play by all the rules – see businesslady with two kids & surgeon husband up there – get all confused when they see people not playing by their perceived rules – see RBD commenters – and assume that we must be jealous failures who are consumed with hate and bile.

          Such a narrow, repressed black & white view of life. It must freak her out that we can’t be neatly put in a box or filed away under Bad People.

          • mcakez says:

            I feel compelled to point out, again, that my students at a continuation school in an underprivileged area realize that reality stardom is for chumps.

            I say that not to disparage them, as they lead the kind of lives that have made them stronger and smarter at 16 than Julia will ever be (even at 71), despite many being homeless or close to, and having an average reading level of a fifth grader. When the ‘dregs of society’ realize something like reality TV fame is a fool’s game, it makes you wonder about idiots like Julia, and even more so about the people who come in crying, “But she is FAMOUS and REAL.” By whose standards, you git?

          • So. Blessed. says:

            Agreed. I don’t find persons signing up for reality shows to be especially “brave” but more than likely seeking exposure or some sort of gain, even if it’s to be a video loop of grinding on Bret Michaels while fellating a banana.

            I give exception to some medical documentaries. A person in a medically bereft area with a 50 lb tumor on their face is allowed to leverage that into surgery any way they can.

            Cakez–I always like hearing your positivity re: your students. I wish their after-school circumstances were better but it seems that many of them are better students of the real world as teens than some adults I know.

            Isn’t that the fear of educators–that kids are going to disregard the classroom and babysat by tv, they’ll blindly make bad choices, “repeating the cycle,” etc? I have found that kids whose lives have unfortunately been injected with adult reality way before they were mentally or emotionally prepared are better at sussing out bullshit. Sounds like your students are the same.

    • JFA says:

      Lol married to a surgeon. Lololol. Here’s your winning at life award!! Come pick it out of my ass, freak.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        I loved how that is part of her opener, plus he’s creative too–he plays the guitar! I see why she likes JA.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Um, yeah, I was told there were winning at life awards?

      • Ex Spurt says:

        I had the same reaction at ‘married to a surgeon’. What the fuck. Normally I’m a ‘good, decent person’ too, but I’m going to put that aside for a wee while so I can call you, Mrs, a self- aggrandising cunt.

        And a judgy mcjudgerson hypocrite.

        Fuck’s sake.

        • Donkarena says:

          I don’t blow on the 2nd date — can I be an honorary “sane and decent” person?

          • Ex Spurt says:

            Honey, you can blow anyone, anytime your sane and decent heart desires, just don’t announce it to the world.

            I can’t believe Donk did that and I hope she’s apologised to that poor guy.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Now I am really wishing that her parents coughed up for basic cable! I hope their neighbors and everyone at the law firm watched.

          • Ridonkulous says:

            …and their church.

    • mcakez says:

      Aww. You’re adorable. Can I have two of you to put in my pocket to entertain me in the minutes between when the dog falls asleep and the Cheetos run out? I will refresh repeatedly until you reply, because the cats have taken over my mumu and I can’t reach the remote from here.

      Yours in pathetic failure entropy/misanthropy,

      mcakez

      • Donkarena says:

        Obviously a flash fire broke out here while I slept on unaware! The replies have given me the best laughs of the week — I can’t even drink my coffee for fear of spewing it. She probably went off the meds dutifully prescribed by her surgeon husband (did you all notice she’s married to a SURGEON?????) and couldn’t help bray in defense of the Donkey.

    • For serious??? says:

      Wait. There are 6th grade proms now?

      I had no idea.

    • helobabe says:

      pics or it didn’t happen

    • virgil reid says:

      does your surgeon husband know you can’t write in english?

    • So. Blessed. says:

      I’m sure she’s feel a bit different about Donkey’s wunnerful, wunnerful life if she had been the the recipient of the email: “I just felt you should know Dr. Amazing was fucking me while you were together!! Kisses!”

      Or, “I met Dr. Wonderful while I was medstituting at Georgetown and he’s schizophrenic and couldn’t get me off!” I AM SHARING MY LIFE WITH THE INTERNET!

      Oh honey. When the scope of your dream world is to share the princess specialness of your every fart in the wind in hope of gaining mass, anonymous love, you have to be ready for some criticism–especially when the person in question has, in the most recent past, deliberately ridiculed and attacked other people very publically. No one here is wishing death or dismemberment upon the sad little animal (as has happened to some sixth graders who have later commited suicide) nor does this catmutiny “poke the beast” in her everyday life.

      Reblogging the material she herself deemed to share with the world, then commenting upon it. That’s all. Calm down, Kevin.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I was going to explain that the site hit me the same way at first and I gradually learned that it is a very interesting balance of target to satire, but then I realized that nothing has been pushed out of my uterus that I need to feed, so my argument is entirely invalid.

      That’s why you mentioned your kids, of course. Because without hitting us all over the head with the fact that you, yes you, have popped out a couple of Cunt McNuggets, your middle-class superiority complex just doesn’t give that post-vibrator euphoric flush.

      Please put your finger in a light socket. If a light socket is unavailable, try a pencil sharpener.

      • JFA says:

        You. Complete me.

      • EyeRoller says:

        This and everyone else’s comments are KILLING ME, absolutely making me feel alive in a fresh and vibrant way. Something I NEVER feel when I watch DONK.

        Thank you everyone!!!

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          Putting one’s finger in a life socket does tend to perk up one’s outlook, I must say.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            LIGHT socket. LIGHT socket.

            Life socket = condom worn by surgeon husband in light of two monsters growling for gruel in next room.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Or, you could market yourself as a self-help guru who has discovered that sticking a finger in a light socket improves one’s life. Hence, it’s Life Socket Therapy! Then you, too, can make guest appearances on humiliating “reality” teevee!

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      “I guess my sense of being a good, decent person has compelled me to post.”

      Yes? And my sense of being a mean, vicious person compells me to post.

      When you are done shitting fruit salad into blue china bowls for Thing 1 and Thing 2, feel free to come over any time you and lick me.

      Service entrance is to the south. Interpret that however you like.

    • chinchilla of indifference says:

      Dear Mrs. Person, thank you for showing me the light. From this day forward, I will follow your shining example and waste my free time anonymously lecturing complete strangers on the internet (aka pissing into the wind), starting with this comment right here. As Julia always says, going to someone’s blog and leaving them hateful comments is like visiting a stranger’s house and shitting in their living room. What could be more satisfying than that (besides everything)? Could your husband remove my sense of humor, too? Yours in Christ, Chinchilla

    • Grammarian says:

      A powerful mom with fantastic sons, clearly

      • Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

        that phrase never fails to crack me up. i’m glad that powerful mom posted, because the replies have made my morning.

        • Grammarian says:

          Same, same.

          It has the same tone as a lot of other similar posts, here and elsewhere. Either they all have the same diagnosis, or they’re the same person: the syrupy plea, the airing of grievances, the seething rage.

        • Donkarena says:

          Same here…I’m savoring all the replies and marveling at how witty our members are and how the dreaded spectre of writer’s block has not infected anyone here…yet.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Pssst: I have kids too.

      And from one mother to another, just be grateful Donk has never met your surgeon husband.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      I knew a woman, Joan, who is a successful professional who was married to a phenomenally successful financial advisor. They had two kids. She used to love to lecture everyone about relationships and parenting. It was really annoying. All we ever heard was how “great” her life was, how “wonderful” her husband was, and how “wrong” we were about choices we were making and approaches we were taking to marriage and child rearing. We tolerated her because we liked her husband. He seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. Great guy, in fact. But there she was, all the time, judging everything we said and did in her subtle, sometimes overt, sometimes passive aggressive ways. Turns out, her husband was cheating and her oldest son was kicked out of school. When the news came out about him cheating, followed quickly by the kid being expelled and then the divorce, she never came forward to acknowledge anything at all. She just packed up and left town. I’m not even sure where she went, though I’ve heard somewhere in the Northeast.

      I think you can see where I’m going with this. Do you know Joan, and if so, how I can get in touch with her? She borrowed our egg beater before she moved.

      Thanks for your help.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      You don’t sound very sane.

    • cola champagne says:

      Joan Didion, ladies and gentlemen.

    • cola champagne says:

      [img]http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/cool_down.gif[/img]

    • Scooby Don't says:

      [img]http://onlyiplus.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Screen-shot-2011-07-19-at-1.08.12-PM.png[/img]
      Is this a picture of your musical surgeon husband?
      If so, now I am a jealous hater!

    • Donkarena says:

      Mrs. Surgeon — Julia needs you to fix her up with one of your husband’s colleagues, pronto (see dinner party episode). If said colleague could give her some heavy medication, that would be cool, too. Probably the same meds you take would be fine. Then the two of you could be the best of friends (see “Bridesmaids”).

      • JFA says:

        That would be splendid! Then they could all go to parties, compare their childrens’ respective preschools levels of prestige, and feel superior to us! All the while, we will be at home, childless and boning our hot boyfriends or whatever sad existences we lead.

        We lose.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I’ll offer full disclosure …

      But you didn’t; you conveniently left out your name before spewing:

      I am motivated to learn the truth about the meaning and purpose of WHY someone ( who, ironically, is too much of a pussy to declare their true identity …)

      Pot, Kettle, Black much, asshat?

      Come back when you learn how to put spaces between words & double spaces between paragraphs, because we’re dying to know more about your awesome life as the wife of a guitar-strumming tree surgeon.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Aren’t you adorable with your semi-literate self-righteous anonymous fulminating?

    • DAVIDMFRUBIN says:

      JULIA, WHILST SOCK PUPPETING, YOU SHOULD SKIP THE ‘BACK STORY’. IT’S A TYPE OF LOGICAL FALLACY FROWNED UPON BY THE COGNOSCENTI. YOUR ARGUMENTS SHOULD STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS.

      P.S. CAN I BORROW JORDAN’S TIARA? TAKING EMILY TO A FANCY DRESS BALL LIKE THE ONE IN ‘EYES WIDE SHUT’.

    • CaptainGary says:

      I don’t know about you jerks, but yes, it DOES make me feel good to disparage her, as she’s chosen to weave her lies in a field I care about (media, journalism, social media, etc).

      Again, I’ll make a comparison to the New Yorker article I read about the cheating marathoner – who found him out? Other marathoners. Why? Because they care about running, and this guy trying to job the system was cheapening something they all cared about.

      I’ll bet the same forces are at play here – I’ll be the majority of people here work in some related field to the one that Julia pretends to dabble in and to care about. We don’t want to see her cheapen what we actually work at, so when we have time, we discuss and dissect her obvious bullshit and attempts to game the work we value.

      I know, Mrs. Dr. Sturgeon, that it’s easier, after your husband flees your shrill, nagging voice to strum his guitar in the other room (yikes), for your simple mind to categorize us as haters, but I’d more accurately say we are lovers – lovers of our chosen field…so much so they we don’t want charlatans to cheapen it. Julie “DONKS” Albertson doesn’t be writing for the NYT and thus isn’t typically subject to popular scrutiny – aka NO ONE CARES BUT US – so we do Greg’s work.

      So fuck you.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I applaud you and your marvelousness.

      • CDB says:

        Here is a picture of Sane Person and her husband. He really was a great catch![img]http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c205/too_b_u/Facebook/Sturgeon%20fishing%20trip%202012/476281_10150924107144700_763693199_o.jpg[/img]

      • This, exactly this.

        She’s making a mockery of a field I dream of making my career in. I work hard to get clips, she doesn’t work at all and gets everything handed to her. It’s frustrating.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I care about D0nkey cheapening charity …
        * Throwing herself a Bi-polar Birthday Bash ‘in the name of charity’ w/ no proof ever of donated monies going to charity.
        * Co-opting the SGK name ‘for charity’ until called out on it
        * Wanting to join a SGK 3-day to steal a pink tent
        * Monogramming tennies for her sponsored 3-day SGK walk w/ HER OWN NAME (& never even doing the walk)
        * Bailing on the Wounder Warrior Project
        * Trying to dump her castoff mags onto a women’s shelter (declined!) & calling that ‘charitable’
        * Loves ‘Breast Cancer Awareness Month’ because OMG! Pink!

        I don’t ‘care’, but I do poiunt & laugh that D0nkey is the Gimme Pig of giveaways — she doesn’t give, she takes for herself …
        * Keeps sponsors gift cards for herself
        * Sells sponsors gift cards online & keeps the cash

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Exactly, Captain Gary! She demeans the field of journalism by pretending that she’s in it. I also resented how she clomped around the country — and the globe — acting as if she were the epitome of NYC women!

        It truly winced me that some foreign media bought into that and actually described her as a typical NY woman! I think the Statue of Liberty put her head in her hands at that, too.

  24. JFA says:

    Go feed your kids honey, after your nightly Xanax red wine combo. No one cares. I read maybe twelve words and I’m already bored. Night night!!

    • JFA says:

      Fuck my iPhone that was to the hyper depressed judgmental boring housewife above.

    • Donkarena says:

      My theory is that she found herself liking Donkey, feeling sorry for her when she fake-cried over this blog — came over for a look and discovered to her dismay how active, witty and incredibly articulate this blog is, and her overarching “businesswoman-breakfast making mother of two- surgeon’s wife” ego was mortified at supporting the uncool kid. We had to be slapped to assuage her red faced embarrassment at falling for BJ Donkey’s tears over this awesome blog.

      • JFA says:

        I honestly don’t think she read a single comment. Not one. If she HAD, she would have realized she would get skewered, laughed at, and not given a shit about.

        Nope, she said her stupid piece, then fucked off like the truly blind, deaf and dumb asshole that she obviously is.

        I’m still trying to think about how what your husband does for living lends credence to or detracts from what you have to say. I guess I just don’t think in those ways because I’m not a terrible human being.

        • Donkarena says:

          I think throwing out the detail about her husband betrays that she believes attaching yourself to a seemingly powerful man elevates you above where you really deserve to be. It’s her tell. In her Donkey-like brain, she thinks it gives her immunity to judge the rest of us, because we all know that all surgeons are perfect.

          • Donkarena says:

            …except the ones on the true crime channel that kill their wives to be with their mistress…or the ones on “To Catch a Predator”….or the one that left his wife (my co-worker) because he got a hot nurse pregnant.

          • JFA says:

            I read it as she has more money than we do presumably, therefore she is better and is winning. Also, her husband supports her and she revels in it, so she has no self-esteem deep down inside.

            In either case, she is a tremendous dick. Haha people still believe that landing a doctor means you’ve done something important in life. Those opinions literally do no exist in my social spheres so it always tickles me to read such things.

          • New Year New You says:

            I used to work with a surgeon. In a club. He needed some social cachet so he worked on club doors on the side. He would work at night and then go to be a surgeon on 4 hours sleep. Yes, he used to perform reconstructive surgery on four hours sleep. Also, drinks vodka straight from the bottle.

            Enjoy your surgery everyone.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          IF she had read this blog, she’d surely have figured out that there’s more than one+ writer, eh? Or do tree surgeons just marry any ol’ breeder these days, reading-comprehension be damned?

  25. OMGDonk says:

    alice clayton ‏@alice_clayton
    Now is when we hit up @JuliaAllison to tell her how much she reminds us of Grace from The Unidentified Redhead….heehee @ennbocci

    47m Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @alice_clayton @ennbocci – ahhhh I really really really need to read this book!!!!! Crap! Downloading on Kindle now!!!

    41m alice clayton ‏@alice_clayton
    @JuliaAllison @ennbocci You seem like a gal who would enjoy some good old fashioned comedic erotica! We can send you a copy if you like;)

    You know she convinced herself that Grace was some sort of Carrie Bradshaw. Donkey’s way too fucking excited to have this false narrative validated and then…comedic erotica! OH DONK.

  26. CDB says:

    Let the games begin…[img]http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee516/bobbaer1/catkiller.gif[/img]

    • CDB says:

      That was to “sane person”.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Word.

    • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

      Yeah, I fucking hate machine-gun kitty, just because you read someone’s sentiment in a 300+ thread the night before, because you’re such a wicked and supernaturally aware antifan, you already know everything there is to say about any latest Donktrocity. Maybe, get a life. Maybe let people just say their piece because they finally got to the DVR, finally watched the episode or whatever. I hate machine gun kitty, making people feel horridly unwelcome because someone mentioned a similar sentiment the night before.

      I thought machine-gun kitty was kind of communally agreed kind of dick. A dick move. Juvenile. Petty. Hostile. Seriously unfunny, since that tired .gif has been floating around since the 90′s (it seems) and was never that funny to begin with. It really isn’t.

      I love this place immensely, you cat-people .. well I’ve told you, basement to basement, how much you all mean to me, seriously. Also, you’re all funny bitches, you make me queef laughing though I’m a guy. Science is still trying to figure that out.

      ENOUGH with the kitty machine-gun gif. Not everyone has the time to read every single comment and get every single joke that happened in the past 24 hours, about Julia. Do you really want to be a cat machine-gunning down anyone that alludes to something someone has already said, and still think that kitty-with machine gif is funny somehow? What’s it to you? Why is that cat with a gun funny, at all? Look, you go away for two days, and there is literally a thousand comments across multiple posts to read. Not everyone can read every single one.

      I just fucking hate this “machine-gun Kitty” meme happening here, I think it is the stupidest and rudest and lamest thing. Shutting people up because oh, that was mentioned yesterday at 4am, like everyone should be aware of every single comment on this site, always. Massive fucking turnoff, I think machine-gun kitty .gif admonishing people for occasionally repeating what’s been said is profoundly tired and unfunny, unbelievably exhausted and beaten down and lying in the road, where it deserves to just die, that machine-gun kitty gif. Just, die alone, in the dark. No one wil mourn you, we’ve seen you twenty thousand fucking times around here, and you’re just obnoxious and deserve to die.

      Seriously, let’s stop being crunts, I hate people who post that sad tired “machine gun kitty” gif as if they were being witty or funny or bright or something . None of the above, that same stupid unfunny gif is used to shame people who mention something that’s been already said. Like that’s a crime. Just, ferociously unfunny, even as a stupid meme it’s so, so tired you guys. Please stop doing it.

      • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

        It’s just, intrincically hostile to fellow posters here, everyone. That we’d better keep up on every second of this stupid bitch’s life, or else! Don’t say anything similar to what someone else might have expressed (although two people never really express the same things in the same way, do they?) and some asshole somewhere thinks it’s hilarious and funny to upload thesame tired “machine-gun kitty” we’ve seen twenty thousand times before. So very funny, your putting that person in their place because they missed the comments at 4 am last night about what a pathetic waste with so much time on her hands A Donkey is! Ironic in some wrong Alanis Morrissette sense no doubt, it just bums me out. It’s meanspirited and unfunny. Sorry for the long-ass blather.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          Did you see who the gif was addressed to?

          • CDB says:

            Calm down Kevin….Geez Norse Horse, AK Kitty has been retired for redundant posts a while ago. And I agree with you which is why I convinced him to put down his gun and take yoga classes and walk on hot coals to find his inner peace. But every once in a while some post enrages him to action. The Sane wife of the sturgeon tripped the switch. And what are you doing up at 4:19 am (unless you are in London) picking on a Post Traumatic Stressed out feline? Love light and Lima beans

          • CDB says:

            [img]http://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr25/betctru/Emily_Litella-792387.jpg[/img]

            Let Emily be your inspiration.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            ‘The Sane wife of the sturgeon’

            Typo? Or new user name?

          • Dr. Gary says:

            ‘The Sane Wife of the Sturgeon’

            OR the recently discovered long lost Ibsen play, found in the attic of Det Norske Theater.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          Dear NORSE HORSE,

          Thank you for submitting your NOVEL. We enjoyed reading it but regret to say it does not suit our needs. We wish you the best of luck with your CAREER and hope you have a NICE DAY.

          SORRY,

          COULDN’T RESIST

        • Malformed Face says:

          NORSE Horse, dear Greg, relax yourself. LOL.

          PS, you don’t speak for the community. I find it ineffeably hysterical. Sit down!

          • cola champagne says:

            Um, yeah. It’s a fucking cat. No one cares if people repeat topics. Not everyone has a chance to read all the comments, I think CDB knows that and has fun with it anyway.

          • CDB says:

            The thing is that it was directed to Sane person at 12 :36 am . It was not directed at a repost at all. It posted in the wrong place and everything else filled in above it. So “Let the games begin” was in reference to the avalanche of responses to Sane Person that was coming. I cried for a few hours after being called an asshole a few times but i got over it . The Emily refernence was to the old “Never Mind” SNL skit for you youngsters.

        • Eye rolling Kenilworth mom says:

          AK Kitty is a proud warrior and CDB, may he live a thousand years, is a national treasure, can I get an amen? Never stop!

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        AK Kitty appears to be momentarily disabled …
        [img]http://www.fengshe.org/collaborators/SteCroix_Grace/_images/Disabled_Cat.gif[/img]
        (One down, eight to go, so never say never!)

  27. EyeRoller says:

    “I’m sorry you feel that way. Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”

  28. EyeRoller says:

    Six figures six figures six figures six figures six figures six figures six figures six figures

    Get behind thee, Satan.

  29. EyeRoller says:

    One more and I will quit:

    I motion that people who are clearly filled with so much “troublesome” rage about the comments of this blog should start a PRO JACKASS, “UN-re-bloggingDONK!” site where people “encourage her progress” and “justify her behavior”. I’m sure she’d tweet you back!!!

    I looked for a PRO DONK blog and couldn’t find anything…

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      May I suggest http://www.gawker.com.

      You might want to use blog view.

      I think.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        Were they really pro-Donk, or were the rumors true, that they were paid to hype her?

        • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

          Rumor (or maybe confirmed by now) is that Denton was the “secret” money behind the launch of Non-Society.

          • sgatniks neerg says:

            I don’t think so. I think it was more likely Meghan Asha’s papa

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            I can’t imagine Julia prying a red penny out of Denton’s clutches. He thought she had a tap marked “unlimited gravy” and was hoping for a pipeline himself. Whatever – his role in her emergence, decline and fall is appalling in its opportunism, although she should have seen it coming after five minutes spent talking to the fucker.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            I’m with sgatniks — it was Papa Asha who financed that atrocity. Didn’t that cause some friction between Meghan and Donkey later on, when the “company” was a dud?

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I think they did it for the hate-clicks.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Not at first. Also, Denton had dreams of being a powerbroker via making her a star. I remember when there was supposed to be some major mag article about her, and he predicted that it would propel her into serious fame. I don’t think the article actually materialized (or maybe it was the one in NY Mag that about Gawker, and mentioned her).

    • cola champagne says:

      Yeah, I want to know why sane person feels compelled to post here and is trying to “save” us. Bitch, there are pedo sites out there. You’re a mom, right? Go shut them down. Go to TMZ, RadarOnline, Reality Tea, and every news site that has a gossip column and tell them how horrible they are for talking about people. As if anyone here believes a successful business owner with children, a husband who’s a doctor in an oh so wonderful marriage and their McMansion has that much time to dig out a site, craft a response, and defend someone they’ve never met before.

  30. Random Snowflake says:

    I really thought there would be more folks who watched Julie for 5min on the TeeVees and would stomp here to set us straight.. I’ve been surprised (really should not have been though) how few of them there have been so far.

  31. Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    “Most accused heretics suffer and are forgotten. But every once in a while, posthumously or otherwise, one of them topples a paradigm.”

    The fuck is she talking about? She offers no source or attribution for this “quote”, and in any case “paradigm” is a clunky and complicated word that fucks up the quote, it is far from brilliant. And, who said it?

    I guess she’s saying once she’s dead, she’ll marry the handsome tech founder of her dreams, in the afterlife. He’ll meet all her requirements, then. You’ll all be sorry.
    Seriously, Julia jumping off a tall building has crossed my mind, horrible as it is to say. Probably in San Francisco. Don’t do it, Julia. I know you read here, please just keep on being yourself. Be good, think of your family.

    • Donkarena says:

      Clumsy attempt to fool us into thinking she’s intelligent. Remember, she used the word penultimate the other day. Obviously, if it weren’t for her debilitating writer’s block…

    • Little Orphan Lilly says:

      This is a (slightly misquoted) line from an article about a researcher in the 60s taking LSD: http://www.themorningnews.org/article/the-heretic?src=longreads=

      HOLY SHIT IS JULIA ALLISON ROLLING?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I think she’s subtly acknowledging that she’s never really going to make it in this lifetime, but, optimistic narcissist that she is, she’s not going to give up hope of a cult following after she’s been out out to pasture.

    • Roger that says:

      When I die, I want to come back as a ghost and topple a paradigm onto her fat, stupid head. Did I say “paradigm”? I meant “boulder”.

  32. hey hey cray cray says:

    After too many martinis last night, I made myself vom in the shower this morning to feel better. What do ya know- it worked! #soproud #thanksjulia

  33. Who do you think you are? says:

    Coffee Bar Guy reminds me of “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_McPhee”>Jack McPhee. Not that I ever watched Dawson’s Creek, no sir.

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      Link fail, SS,SF.

    • Psychotic Today says:

      OMG YES!!!! Thank you for the Dawson’s reference. Looking back on it now the show was awful but at the time I really wanted to marry Pacey. But, to be honest, I have wanted to marry Joshua Jackson since the Mighty Ducks.

    • virgil reid says:

      OMG YES!!!i couldnt place it but totally yes.

    • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

      It is entirely bizarre that she gravitates towards these lean/skinny dudes. As a woman with (what has to be significant) BDD, you’d think she’d have figured out that a bigger man would make her feel tiny ‘n cute in comparison. No?

    • Malformed Face says:

      His face looks a little on the Down Syndrome spectrum. Also, after seeing him do a hand clap sequence in Toilet Julia’s music video… I cannot. That tells me ALL I need to know.

  34. EyeRoller says:

    Good morning everyone! Said to myself while greeting the day:

    This DONK is not a “PARADIGM” of pop culture. This DONK is the moldy dental dam at the bottom of POP CULTURE’S slashed up, pleather hooker purse.

  35. Donkarena says:

    I still say Bravo should arrange a date between Donkey and Tom Cruise. She’s perfect.

  36. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but I love this:

    “I started watching Miss Advised because I watch Bravo here and there and it looked like good “trash tv” to veg out on after a long days work, after the kids are in bed and my husband is strumming his guitar in the next room and we each have different means of unwinding. Most nights, mind you, we’re out in the city or hanging with family or friends but Bravo is always good for a silly veg out session, mostly harmless since the people who the viewers see are there voluntarily.”

    Nice way to excuse your shitty taste in TV, Mrs. Responsible Successful Surgeon-Double-Stuffed-and-Married Mother of Two. Most nights I am out in the city, where I, um, live, doing various things that may or may not reflect well upon my character but which have never been trailed by more qualifiers than US entry into the Korean War.

    • Donkarena says:

      I loved that, too — Typical anonymous drive by construction. I also couldn’t help but notice that in that lengthy pedigree, she doesn’t mention if she recycles.

      • EyeRoller says:

        She could’ve saved the five minutes it took to burp up that drivel and just shoved her own head up her ass and repeated that speech. To HERSELF.

        I read it. I just didn’t hear a thing.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Or what type of windows she has, or which kind of caulk was used.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      But she’s MARRIED to a SURGEON! Clearly this gives her the moral high ground now and forever.

      Maybe that was a typo, and she’s actually the Little Mermaid. Married to a sturgeon.

      • CaptainGary says:

        If that were the case, Albie, her eggs would be far more valuable had they not been fertilized and subsequently gestated into her two wonderful, perfect children.

    • JFA says:

      I love how she has to casually mention she is usually out with friends each night. Yeah, dickhead, I’m sure with your very busy super star surgeon husband and two precociously brilliant kids, you are out every night of the week in your very exciting Northeastern city. Try harder. Actually, please don’t.

      Which is sadder? The fact that I am awful enough to comment here or the fact that some women have to prove their own worth by anonymously commenting about other anonymous commenters, whilst mentioning their marital affiliations, ages, regions where they live and how exciting and successful their lives are? Fuck you.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      And basically, she answered her own stupid question. She watches shitty television. Good for you, we’ve been watching the same damn show for much longer.

  37. Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

    Ratings are in…”Last week Miss Advised received a nice bump from the 8% jump in RHoNY ratings’ lead-in and scored a respectable (and season high) viewership of 700,000. Although RHoNY this week grew further, Miss Advised plunged 28% down to 504,000, their second lowest rated episode. As the season is now 7 episodes in, with just next week’s finale left to air, they’ll no doubt stay at the 10pm slot.”

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Ha ha ha ha! No second season.

    • LetItExplode says:

      Shit, I’m her core audience and I’ve only watched two episodes. Tried to watch this last one but then the guy I liked called so I turned it off.

      What kills me is if she’s really SO HURT by these guys dumping her why is she out falling madly in love with someone else five minutes later?

      I’ve been in situations where I’ve known I was in love with someone after six weeks. It’s happened twice. And both times I wound up being right and both times went through hellish heartbreak after the relationships fell apart years later. I think it’s possible to connect that quickly (although probably not wise) but not if you’re Julia and everything is so list-y and money-grubbing and superficial. Whenever she talks about a past relationship it’s never about a “connection” she felt; it’s all about what the guy bought her or did for her.

      As someone so astutely said before: she wants the wedding, not the marriage.

    • BLB says:

      Second lowest rated episode! Best selling Wired cover save two!

  38. Iknowdoyou says:

    Ratings are in Miss Advised plunges 28% from the previous week! Even with JA blowing JellyD, Yikes!

    • EyeRoller says:

      I wish A DONK would see that because of her own STUPID SELF, THIS SITE IS getting a better ratings spike than the actual show she appears on!!!

      • Lurker says:

        Ugh. The ALL CAPS is starting to grate. We get it, no one here likes her.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          OMGREG, YOU OVERLY-SENSITIVE WHINERS WHO SUFFER UNDER THE DELUSION THAT RBD CAN & WILL BE CUSTOMIZED TO YOUR VERY OWN PERSONAL PREFERENCES ARE GIVING EVERYONE ELSE A GREGDAM HEADACHE — EITHER BUY THIS SITE / CITE / SIGHT & DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH IT, OR SIT DOWN & SHUT THE GREGDAMFUCK UP.

          • cola champagne says:

            Um, can you make that message in Comic Sans? Times New Roman makes me have seizures.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Jokerman or GTFO.

          • cola champagne says:

            I hope this makes you feel better…

          • cola champagne says:

            sorry, RRR, I tried, but it didn’t work :/
            SS,SF

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I think only a boulder church font will do …

          • EyeRoller says:

            “Ugh. The ALL CAPS is starting to grate. We get it, no one here likes her.” –lurker (above)

            Admittedly, I don’t consider myself much of a writer, nor am I uberintelligent. However, if what you say is true, that “no one likes her here” and YOU are HERE, then I’m deducing you don’t like her either? That’s so amazing!

            And if you DON’T like her, then why hassle someone who also doesn’t like her about their selective use of personalized capitalization. Donk capitalizes her ENTIRE LIFE. We’re doing valuable service work here at NO COST.

            Obviously, if you understood what was being capped and why, you be much more of a “PARADIGM TOPPLER” like Donk. So, while I may not possess the frantic, finely honed grammatical acumen of a G-town grad, I do know one thing, and let me put it so’z you can understand:

            i’ll fucking capitalize whatever the fucking fuck i fucking want so fuck the fuck off you fucking fuck.

            that LOWERCASE enough for ya LURKER?

            hugs and kisses!

        • EyeRoller says:

          “I’M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?”

        • mule on rouge says:

          I use all caps to emphasize words that I would stress if I were speaking. I think it helps to make my awesome comments even more hilarious (and judging by my fan mail, it DOES). Also, I use an onscreen keyboard and it would take FOREVER to toggle back and forth to the special character screen to insert the angle brackets to turn html commands on and off for italics and bold. As for everyone else, well, they do it to emphasize that they are TOOLS.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Calling all cat people tv experts.

      Does this seal the deal on no Season 2? Between this and Andy’s clear disdain for the Donkey, there’s no chance right?

      • mule on rouge says:

        I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Donks didn’t get where she is today by not giving awesome blowjobs.

        • EyeRoller says:

          Yeah, but she’s screwed because Andy most certainly doesn’t want an amazing blowjob from her. Keep her from sucking dick and she’s powerless!!!

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        never underestimate her ability to fail upwards.

  39. CaptainGary says:

    OT – In case anyone managed to have their magazine subscriptions changed to go to the home they share with their boyfriend JackMcCain, there’s an article in this week’s New Yorker (I know it’s no Wired or Fast Company, but…) that gave me Donkey-inspired chills. Unfortunately the article is locked/for subscribers only online, but it’s pretty great. It’s about a marathon runner who was turning in suspicious times, was accused of cutting courses and even making up races out of whole cloth. Interesting and funny, but the real (donkey) kick came when a) his lies were first sussed out by the marathon-running online community (like us, but less Cheetoh dust!); and b) when confronted with nearly irrefutable proof that he was a fabulist, his methods eerily echoed Donks. Obfuscate, deflect, blast online anonymity, blame friends, the whole nine yards.

    I found myself laughing in bed as I read parts out loud to my wife last night.
    http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/08/06/120806fa_fact_singer

  40. Fueled by PMS & Chocolate says:

    How many times is she going to link to that “The Heretic” article? We get it Donkey, you tried teh droogz at last Burning Man and plan to do so again. Many people party all the time without making sure everyone knows their chemicals of choice – except may 14 year olds.

    Someone please pass the ointment!!

  41. Donkarena says:

    Maybe Mrs. Surgeon WAS Donkey…writing her dream narrative…

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Nah…the level of smug was the real deal.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Julie’s semi-literate in a different way.

    • Stalker is the new MANUFACTUR BULLSHIP says:

      actually i thought it sounded just like Donkey. Too bad the only time she can shit out more than 140 characters is when she’s writing to us.

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        It was certainly better written and more interesting than anything she’s farted out for Elle.com and the Bravo blog.

  42. Donkeycam Now! says:

    The checklist video gave me bad canklehausen, but as I was reaching for the ointment I read this comment and I felt better all of a sudden:

    “It’s cute that this girl is finding her Mom a date, I guess.”

  43. Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

    Okay, I may have disliked the Donk before, but I am so enraged with her at this moment I can’t think straight. I looked at the non-society page and of course she has her twitter updates on it and OF COURSE this bitch tweeted the outcome of the women’s gymnastics final. (Do not go near her twitter if you want to watch it tonight). How could she not know that all decent human beings are avoiding sharing the outcome of these games before they’re aired. SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!

    • CDB says:

      Don’t go there and give her clicks. Plus you may get eyeball herpes

      • mule on rouge says:

        Is that the kind that makes little eyeballs grow all over your hoo-hah? Do you know of any good home remedies for that? My, uh, friend wants to know.

    • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

      I think NBC sucks. Show it live.

      • cola champagne says:

        I saw something on Yahoo last Saturday before I had a chance to watch it. I think they wised up and started putting spoiler alerts. That said, I wouldn’t have been upset anyway. I’ll find out eventually.

    • mule on rouge says:

      I think I see the problem here. You have Julia Allison confused with a decent human being. I hope this teaches you a lesson, young jelly.

  44. Posting this at the bottom because I can’t find where it was discussed earlier, but apparently JA has a drawer full of crappy “presents” in case she forgets a birthday. So personal.

    Julia Allison The belated birthday gifts wasn’t a LIE per se … I have a gift drawer ready to go with gifts if a GIFT EMERGENCY should occur AT ANY TIME!

    • cola champagne says:

      Presents other people gave her that she doesn’t want.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      That’s where Original TJ’s tourist center brochure & ice cream coupon lived until D0nkey gave them a proper burial in Teej’s gift bag.

    • LetItExplode says:

      freebies and re-grifts.

    • JFA says:

      LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl. Her stupid fucking small lies are always the most bizarre. No, asshole, you don’t, because you aren’t that thoughtful, taht idea isn’t even cute or clever, and please just shut the fuck up, my god.

      • JFA says:

        I’m quite sure she has a drawer full of red heart shaped pot holders purchased at Homegoods and “dreamboxes” she covers with colored paper from the 99 cent store with handwritten inspirational messages on the bottom all ready to go for all those near valentine’s day bdays. She’s just such a cherished friend to all, always thinking of others. I’m quite sure that drawer exists. It also houses her book proposal, some notes about angel investing, and a journal including her thoughts on Davos. It’s all in there. For real.

      • It’s cute for a little old granny to have a drawer full of little gifts that she buys for her children and grandchildren and friends because she has a Costco card and a shopping habit, but for a 30-something donkey? [img]http://i.imgur.com/ZmO1u.gif[/img]

        • JFA says:

          It would be just creepy and weird but in her case it’s also a bald-faced lie, so it’s even more revolting. It’s just such a weird lie to tell. Honey, you can’t even write a recycled heavily edited column about yourself once a week and get it in on time with absolutely no other life responsibilities whatsoever. You certainly don’t have the foresight required to think of others enough to be concerned about stashing away emergency gifts.

        • Grammarian says:

          My Grandmother actually did that. She had a closet of presents.

          My Grandmother could also whiff bullshit at 30 feet. She was awesome.

          • My Granny has a Sam’s Club problem, so she’s always giving people in our family stuff when they come over. I love her so much, but her shopping is totally out of control. She has two bread makers. TWO!

            Grannies are the best lie detectors.

          • fig says:

            My mom had one when I was little. I used to secretly read the children’s books in there she bought in case i forgot to mention birthday invitations.

        • Fameless Shamewhore says:

          OK, in the past commenters have occassionally admitted to acting in some way like JABA (for example, owning similar dresses) and I always thought that was pretty brave so…

          …I’m just gonna say it: I have a present drawer. Yup. There are things in there that I saw and liked and thought, “That would make a cool present to take to someone as a thank you” – and there are also some things that I erroneously ordered twice from amazon and couldn’t be bothered to return – and there are really lovely toys and books that I came across for the kittens but it wasn’t anyone’s birthday or Chanukah yet – and, yes, there are some presents that we received and were never going to use or enjoy.

          In our basement it is not seldom to find ourselves realising that a kitten has been invited to a friend’s birthday party which starts in 30 minutes. Honestly, that present drawer is really useful.

          But in my defense, I would never claim to a friend that I had a belated birthday present for them when I didn’t because that would be, you know, lying.

          • Donkarena says:

            Seems like a good strategy for those panic moments — I’ve got a few in my closet myself. My last boss had a ROOM full of anticipatory presents for yet-to-be-determined recipients.

          • Exactly, you’re not lying about it, and your drawer actually contains thoughtful gifts, not rejected shill-aways :)

            Scary but true thought, but there’s a little JA in all of us. I’m def a little narcissistic sometimes (everyone is, I think), and I also enjoy having my photo taken and wearing kooky outfits, but I think what makes it different is the extent to which I do this, and the fact that I genuinely care about friends and family and not completely infatuated with myself.

            I think a lot of us see a little bit of ourselves in her, or we see how we used to be, and it’s a chilling reminder or a cautionary tale for how not be act.

  45. Submitted without comment.

    [img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fU46Yb-HsZg/Tf1I3gABxeI/AAAAAAAAAVY/sHXdDVfuxfg/s1600/woop+034.jpg[/img]

    Someone with more photoshop talent, please do a side-by-side :)

  46. Malformed Face says:

    Radio silence from a Donkey on her show’s ultra shitty ratings.

  47. Jimbo says:

    Any chance Bravo will renew this show for a second season???

  48. sane person says:

    hi all you warmth-filled, humanitarians….sorry i stopped to work for 2 days and (you’re gonna LOVE this) screw my surgeon husband. Some people have to make a living…I admit, throwing that in there (surgeon) now that I see what a nerve it twisted in all of you, sounded smug. Who the hell knew? Why is it not ok to mention facts about your life if you’re successful? If I had said my unemployed husband you would have drooled and oohed all over me…It’s the same kind of idiocy behind “Mitt Romney’s evil because he’s rich”. Oh really? Would a moronic, dumb ass with no business smarts be a better candidate for presidency?
    anyway, thanks for all the laughs. seriously. i laughed so hard my rich, upper middle class abs were all clenched up. I don’t know why I thought ANYONE else might understand my points of view on this one-sided hate ride. Anyone that doesn’t want to drink the hate water is apparently:
    1. an asshole
    2. making up her life ( read: I must be; what did one of you children say? “depressed, on xanax, my husband is cheating, making up my social life) – yeah, it makes perfect sense to draw these conclusions when someone doesn’t agree with you
    3. Bored with their lives ( it’s so very “now “to hate everyone apparently. anyone who doesn’t is zzzzzzz Bor-ing…)

    As much fun as this was, I sorrily mistook it for a place where people might be interested in an open conversation ( ok, kids, remember 1st grade? that’s where one person says something and the other person actually considers what the other person says and even if they don’t agree they talk about why..)

    But what has really come across from all you little sweetie pies is that you’re all looking for a little rage fest- I actually got a little tingly getting all raged up for a few minutes too- but guess what kids- that can get addictive…and weird and…try not checking the site for a week- can you do it? can you resist? Julia, whoever she is, is just your punching bag…
    I’m gonna go hop into my Mercedes and swing on over to Bloomingdales and drop a wad on shit I don’t need, then I’m gonna stand around at Starbucks and then I’m going to go catch my husband cheating and have a nervous breakdown and go to therapy and find “the real me” ……ha ha ha ha ha ha ha …you make up the rest- you all seem to have everyone figured out…

    • CDB says:

      Yee Ha !

    • fig says:

      You sure know your audience!

      Let the honest and open discussion begin. I feel it is going to be very productive.

    • Donkarena says:

      I KNEW she’d read all the replies! Ego does that to a person! Like a dog that has to come back and eat its own vomit…welcome back, Guitar-strumming-surgeon’s-wife!!! We are all waiting for your latest utterances, as you (clearly)suspected.

    • People who are actually wealthy don’t talk about their wealth. In fact, there’s a scale: the more someone talks about their fabulous life and their vast riches, the less it is true. By the amount you’ve gone on about, I estimate that you are living in a cardboard box and typing your comments from the public library.

      By the way, we are here for a conversation, but it’s kinda hard to have a dialogue with someone whose every other words smacks of condescension and nastiness. Also, you’re not very smart.

      • Donkarena says:

        She’s as much of an egomaniac as the Julia she professes not to know….what’s with dropping a condescending MOAB, claiming not to stick around to read the responses, reading ALL the responses, then coming back to drop a 2nd NOVEL about herself because her EGO JUST CAN’T TAKE IT….we’re supposed to worship this chick for being above it all, while simultaneously watching her indulge in the very thing she accuses the posters here of doing. Oh, the irony….(and yes, we believe EVERY WORD of this woven tale she has constructed as being her life…NOT)
        Surgeon’s wife, I know you’re reading this — Bloomingdale’s can wait — don’t you have that wildly successful career to tend to? or to get ready to go out on your nightly girl’s night out? Must be exhausting.

    • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      Wut??

    • Barking Mad, Intel Advisor says:

      Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • iblow4shoes says:

      Is it a C class Mercedes? Is it leased?

    • EyeRoller says:

      CONGRATULATIONS on working for two days in a row.

      • EyeRoller says:

        Above comment is a response to Sane’s opening: “sorry i stopped to work for 2 days and (you’re gonna LOVE this) screw my surgeon husband”.

    • virgil reid says:

      honey, if you were so smart why arent YOU the surgeon?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      All I got out of that was:

      i stopped to screw my tree surgeon
      Some people have to make a living

      ::yawn::

    • Post-Vibrator Euphoric Flush says:

      Super disappointed that you didn’t hop into a Maserati instead…

    • Floppy says:

      My God, you’re one tacky cow.

    • mcakez says:

      Hi, sane person, my handle is mcakez. I admit that isn’t my ‘real’ name, as it is a bit of a permutation on a former nickname that adapted as a joke in the #rbns chat, and somehow stuck. At the same time, I’ve been relatively open about my persona online, here and elsewhere, so I’m not completely anonymous. That said, I figure I am willing to give you insight into why I post here, all facetiousness and mockery aside.

      I found this place after seeing it mentioned on Gawker. Since you seem to be new to the Julia Allison phenomenon, let me explain for a second that Gawker — if you are not familiar with it — is a website that focuses on news and often media/web-oriented material. It has changed a lot in the last few years, so referencing here seems almost pointless, but I point it out because that site is how I found out about Julia Allison, and that site is also largely responsible for the attention she gets today.

      You see, Julia and Gawker had a bit of a love-hate relationship. They posted about her, people reading hated it, but tuned in to that hatred in a sort of concerted miasma of dislike. The more people disliked her, the more Gawker posted about her. The more Gawker posted about her, the more she began leaking information to them about her life. This is not fabrication — there was a strange symbiotic relationship there. She would turn to them to leak information, and they would ‘leak’ it in order to get ‘hate-clicks,’ if you will.

      That is sort of the origin of hostility. It is well documented that Julia Allison would use Gawker to up her visibility, something that site enjoyed because it was full of self-proclaimed snarky assholes who were attuned to the power of ‘personal branding’ and how the internet breeds ‘fameballls’ and narcissists.

      The thing you might not know, as a relative newcomer to the public life of Julia, is that the entire function was sort of quid pro quo. The site eviscerated Julia, but gave her attention, and she leaked to the site to court that attention. Before you begin to curse her ‘haters’ you must understand how she encouraged that image as a form of ‘branding.’

      I could link to relevant posts here, but Gawker’s articles and commenting section are so unwieldy and user-unfriendly at this point that I cannot even begin to navigate them. I apologize. Suffice to say there is plenty of documentation, including that Wired article that Julia herself loves to brag about.

      Without going into the intervening years, I will fast-forward to my personal introduction and interest, and what I have learned in that time. I do this because other people have their reasons for being here, and I do not want to step on their toes for giving an explicit reason for each person’s involvement.

      I learned about Julia Allison when she still had the aforementioned symbiotic relationship with Gawker. It was during a period of time between boyfriends for her, when she was threatening to quit the internet. It was a bit of a rabbit hole for me. Reading about her called to mind other people I’ve known with Borderline Personality Disorder and/or Sociopathy. This woman who was courting fame while evading any personal responsibility resonated with me with regards to people I knew in my own life. You will find, if you searched around here, that many people refer to the “Julia” in their lives. While there are many different reasons that people are here, you will find that many of them are here because they have had a relationship with a narcissist/Borderline/Sociopath and this is a comfortable place to explore the depths of those disorders with others who have experienced it. Julia has become a universal signifier of a toxic personality under which many can rally and heal.

      I state again, of course, that is just the attraction for some people — myself included — a way to understand the miserable and untenantable in our own lives. Many others have found their common ground in other elements.

      To be quite plain: Some people here have known Julia in real life, and she has shown herself to be quite horrible. Some people here have been victims of her attacks as she sought fame without regard to the suffering of others. Some here have born financial burden when she used them and failed to repay. Some here have known her casually, but heard the complaints of their friends who’ve been abused by her. Some here work in the same fields she tries to claim as expertise, despite abusing her position and/or casting a negative light onto the profession. Some here know the stories that follow her bad behavior, and have since come to express their frustrations. Some here are her ‘friends’ who she has abused. Some here are the wives and girlfriends of her former lovers. Some here are her former lovers.

      She leaves a wide train of burned bridges behind her. Something you probably are not familiar with, having just seen her for a few edited minutes on a TV show. Again, I say this not to disparage you, but to ask you to investigate more completely this board into which you’ve fallen.

      A SHORT list of things that she has done in the time I’ve been observing her includes the following (links are available if you felt inclined to investigate):

      *Julia Allison took to Gawker to claim that part of her falling out with her ex was because he was ‘bipolar’ and refused medication.
      *Julia Allison then e-mailed said ex and tried to get him to buy her a laptop ‘promised’ before they broke up, and before she outed his alleged condition.
      *Julia Allison used a claim that ‘that was months ago,’ to try and ply said boyfriend into buying her said laptop.
      Julia Allison repeatedly congratulated herself on not drinking, and kept a spread sheet (published online), and mocked people who indulged in alcoholic libations, while repeatedly indulging in alcohol and publicly drinking (including on her shot.)
      *Julia Allison repeatedly mocked her then-boyfriend, who she labeled ‘Prom King’ for not being smart enough for her refined tastes.
      *Julia Allison outed the names of her assorted ‘boyfriends’ through THIS website. Curiously, she then used her father’s legal authority to try and shut this site down.
      *Julia Allison repeatedly entered the chat of this website to interact with people here, and then complained about the information she herself leaked.
      *Julia Allison dated a man (later confirmed to be Taylor Greason) through the months of October and November, while simultaneously dating Jack McCain.
      *Julia Allison lamented the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords by posting a picture of said political official’s wedding day, and questioned the proliferation of guns, while simultaneously complimenting her ‘good friend’ Megan McCain on getting a gun as a Christmas gift.
      *Julia Allison tried to get out of a twitter argument about rape by outing her own mother’s sexual assault by saying, “I was inside!”
      *Julia Allison physically assaulted an ex who did not want to talk to her when he ran into her on the street and tried to walk away. She went on to publicly disparage him and further out more details about their former relationship.
      *Julia Allison promised to accompany a friend to Paris, then claimed to have a ‘sinus infection’ that prevented her from going, but did not prevent her from going to the desert for four days and taking lots of pictures. As of this date, she has not (according to public records) paid for her meager $200 fee for camping.
      *Julia Allison posted numerous photos of her dying grandmother, and generally attempted to drain every drop of sympathy for her grandmother’s condition, months before her grandmother passed.
      *Julia Allison repeatedly and unnecessarily name-drops her exes, including those now married or engaged, and has posted on their facebook pages with overly familiar comments.
      *Julia Allison e-mailed the fiance of one of her long-ago exes to claim that there was ‘overlap’ between them. She has alternately claimed that she was ‘drunk’ and embarrassed, or unashamed and the fiance “deserved to know.”
      *Julia Allison says she is a pescatarian and claims she is pro animal welfare, but frequently purchases leather and claims she was unaware or just ignores the charge.
      *Julia Allison once claimed that you should never let a significant other have your passwords, then changed her tune to publish a barely seen TMS column about being security-open. This happened after she had been caught looking at her former boyfriend’s e-mail/text messages and responding to people pretending to be him.
      *Julia Allison claimed to be offering gift cards as give-aways on her website, but when money got tight she tried to sell said gift cards at a 10% discount on the remainder (I don’t remember the specific amount, but it was something like $438 card for $400!)
      *Julia Allison took to Gawker to out her ‘good friend’ Randi Zuckerberg’s husband when he tried to plan a surprise birthday party for Randi, just because she felt neglected that she wasn’t involved in that year’s party.

      There is so much more. I honestly doubt you’ve read this far, ‘sane person.’

      I just figured I would try and take away all facetiousness and give you a little background into the things that make the woman you see on TV for 20 minutes a week so gross.

      There are people who post here now who once stood where you did. I say that honestly. A few months ago, someone came in here spouting the same “Why do you hate?” rhetoric. It really can be quite difficult to wrap your brain around, on the surface, especially if you’ve not done due diligence into the rabbit hole contained here.

      That said (again, if you’re still reading, or ever read), I mostly fell into this community because, honestly, this is a damn literate, accomplished, intelligent and funny group of folks. If Julia can claim one thing to her credit, it is that she probably has the most literate and hysterical haters on the reality TV planet.

      I hope you read all this, sane person, because this is a genuine attempt at dialogue. May you find the reason beyond the madness here, as we all did, because this is a great bunch of people.

  49. By the way, everyone knows it’s called haterade, not “hate water.” DERP

  50. mule on rouge says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! THANK YOU sane person for coming back! I was so disappointed, thinking that you had done a hit and run, and that you wouldn’t ever see all the fun we had with your previous comment. Too bad you couldn’t have found something interesting to say this time. It was the same pile of stupid, but with a lot less credibility. If you can’t come up with something more original than “you’re just jealous”, don’t bother. I doubt many of us no-life-havin’ fatties would deny that we are filled with envy, hate, cheap wine, and a startling amount of deep-fried snack foods. Speaking of which… are you gonna finish those fries? If not, can I have them? Thanks.

  51. CaptainGary says:

    I’m also a big fan of how “having my semi-literate comment roundly ridiculed” becomes “y’all wants to be me cuz my life rawks!” I guess that’s what happens when you run it through Google Translate – you know, like your posts!

    Also, kudos on working some Romney love in there! That’s not a leap or anything.

  52. Can-Swiss says:

    Why am I supposed to be impressed that someone with 8 years of education is putting his penis in you? No wonder you like Julia, you’re both such shallow stupid morons.

    Also, still no real name? You coward!

    • Floppy says:

      That is one of the reasons why Julia is despicable, thinking a degree makes a person worth marrying or becoming their identity. Fucking shallow and so so unbelievably tacky to tout such meaningless association.

  53. Donkarena says:

    Interesting she felt the need to mention she’s married to a surgeon, yet doesn’t mention what her own “successful business” is….

  54. EyeRoller says:

    “…try not checking the site for a week- can you do it? can you resist? Julia, whoever she is, is just your punching bag…”

    You crack me up baby doll. You couldn’t resist not checking this site for a week either, huh?

  55. EyeRoller says:

    This lady needs to ditch the thousand faulty mirrors in her house and come here for a real reflection of herself.

    I love this blog!

  56. Fauxto Shoot Me Now says:

    Congrats, sane person. I am now totally convinced…that you are an 18 year old girl trying to sound like a grown up. Next time, try punctuation and leave off the OT, naive, ad hominem political asides.

  57. sane person says:

    ok sweeties, here’s my last comment. I have a life to live. If any of you stopped to think about the fact that you’re spending a lot of time writing comments on a blog site devoted entirely to badmouthing a 2-bit cable show actress, maybe you’d have a life too.
    I have nothing else to say, because it will fall on deaf (and painfully immature) ears, but I will respond to some of the comments, just for fun.
    1. “CONGRATULATIONS on working for two days in a row”
    I just met you deadbeats 2 days ago, worked ( as I do daily) and checked the comments section to see whether anyone without a black soul lived here. How you can deduce that based on that time frame, I only ever work 2 days in a row is a mystery…
    2.”and you’re not very smart”. thanks for basing your opinion of my intellectual ability on a comment I posted on a blog. You’ve proved you’re really smart.
    3. “claiming not to stick around to read the responses, reading ALL the responses, then coming back to drop a 2nd NOVEL about herself because her EGO JUST CAN’T TAKE IT….we’re supposed to worship this chick for being above it all, while simultaneously watching her indulge in the very thing she accuses the posters here of doing. Oh, the irony….(and yes, we believe EVERY WORD of this woven tale she has constructed as being her life…NOT)
    Surgeon’s wife, I know you’re reading this — Bloomingdale’s can wait — don’t you have that wildly successful career to tend to? or to get ready to go out on your nightly girl’s night out? Must be exhausting.”
    Oh where to begin with this nitwit. First of all- let me understand- I’m a coward if I don’t come back and participate in a blog I posted on but an egomaniac if I do?
    Listen, dum dum. I was being sarcastic about the Bloomingdales thing- I made it up as a construct, a joke, a play on what I thought all you little dolls would say I do all day, but I guess you weren’t bright enough to get it.
    Finally, where did all this stuff about wealth and jealousy come from? When did I ever say I was wealthy? the moron who said the thing about “people who have wealth don’t talk about it”…If you’re drawing a correlation between me mentioning my husbands occupation and my wish for everyone to think I’m dripping in jewels, you’re just plain dumb and uninformed. Do any of you watch the news? Does anyone know what Obamacare really is? Most doctors barely make a decent wage because reimbursement rates are so low. In the past few years, applications to medical school have been at an all time low because no one wants to spend 9 years ( by the way, whoever said doctors only train for 5 years is an idiot. After med school, anyone who wants to practice has to complete a residency which can range from 2-6 years, then add 1-2 years on for fellowship and you’re in you’re 30′s before you get a decent paycheck) training to not be reimbursed accordingly. But you Einsteins are all worried about much more important things- like who some chick is blowing….you must all be the same losers who “occupied” Wall Street.
    Based on the tone and absurdly self-important attitudes around here, my guess is that not one of you shit heads care about the future of this country or even understand the notion that people have endured horrific sacrifices so that you can have the freedom to sit around in your underwear commenting on a blog. And this is how you’re using that freedom…calling some chic names…..

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Please stop. I am embarrassed for you. So many dumb, baseless assumptions.

      • SHE’S TRYING TO HAVE A DIALOGUE! YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY HAVE IN THE FIRST GRADE!

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        This thread is pure gold, a minefield of laughs, as I sit in a Starbucks finishing an ad campaign, remembering that I do indeed make six figures a year–this makes me a better person!–but never felt the need to confess my income until now because my parents, unlike Julie’s or Mrs. Surgeon’s, taught me how gauche it is to talk about money.

        • mcakez says:

          I don’t make six figures a year.

          I feel so terribly about myself right now. I am going to go pet my porcelain unicorn figurines and wail into my shabby (but not chic) polyester comforter until the sadness passes.

    • EyeRoller says:

      aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand she’s done.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      The customer is tanning bed #3 needs new goggles, Sarah.

    • I do have a chic name. Nurse RATCHET is hella hilarious.

    • CUNTBunnies! says:

      YOU SHITHEADS!

      BRB, gotta go laff myself to death now, kthxbai

    • Fauxto Shoot Me Now says:

      Yeah, but you’re using that freedom to to call a bunch of people who call some chick names names. O_o
      P.S. Boo-hoo, I’m sorry your surgeon wallet isn’t as fat as you thought it would be.

    • CaptainGary says:

      Cindy McCain? Is that you? You should be on OUR side!

    • Donkarena says:

      I’m sorry you feel that way…Is there anything we can do to make you feel better, Julia?

    • Donkarena says:

      sane person….you’ll be back

      • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

        I never before questioned why it took me until my thirties to start making serious money. I assumed it was because I needed to gain a few solid years of work experience and build a positive reputation in my line of work. But no … Obamacare held me back!

    • Floppy says:

      I love how this backpedaling shitwit skirts everything but the real question, which is, why she is even pissed off this site exists. So, are you defending her then? If so, why? Answer that question if you are supposedly so compassionate.

      Listen, Real Bored Housewife of the Northeast, you clearly don’t have a clue who we’re talking about here. There are people who have met and rubbed pelts with this loon, you say you’ve read a few pages of content but it seems you’ve missed the point.

      You can come back to us trying to finger wag at everyone until you turn blue or defend Julia (good luck). But in the mean time, while you’re writing down how many ways you are wrong and deciding to side with many very intelligent and successful people, why don’t you get off your high horse dying up there in the frozen bullshit capped peaks of Mt.Sanctimony and kindly go fuck.

      • Donkarena says:

        brilliant slapdown….hat tip to you, floppy.

      • AFGHANI says:

        How does she not realize that most of us are here in short bursts, once or twice a day, and actually have very busy and productive lives! With desk errands!

    • Donkarena says:

      “Sweeties”….Whew! what a relief! I was afraid you were angry at us…

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      “Based on the tone and absurdly self-important attitudes around here, my guess is that not one of you shit heads care about the future of this country or even understand the notion that people have endured horrific sacrifices so that you can have the freedom to sit around in your underwear commenting on a blog. And this is how you’re using that freedom…calling some chic names…..”

      Thank god you also have the freedom to lick my balls.

  58. sane person says:

    oh- and Can-Swiss- is that your real name? Is that what your mommy named you? really?

  59. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    The troll sounds like a sad obsessive who lives vicariously through Bravo shows, has projected herself into Julia’s televised delusions of grandeur and feels personally threatened by criticism of Julia.

    • Donkarena says:

      I thought the same thing…She feels burned she actually cried WITH that psycho and then saw that we’re over here outing Donkey on her various versions of the facts…

Comments are closed.