One of the tarot-card-readers /witchy ladies has weighed in on Miss Advised.
Gypsy_luv: @JuliaAllison @AmyLaurentMatch I can see the gift that came from filming this show, the walls stopped being so big and scary. its beautiful
—
JuliaAllison: @Gypsy_Luv - this show was a gift. I feel happier, more alive, filled with love. Our biggest challenges lead to our biggest breakthroughs.
Yes, that’s right, as her appearance on last week’s WWHL so clearly shows, Donkey is a new woman! Totally sane now! Filled with love and light following filming!
I can’t wait for the guy who writes the fortunes for the fortune cookies to Tweet her. And the “mind architect.” And the “love guru.” And the rest of the cuckoobird grifters she would rather listen to than an actual licensed psychiatrist/psychologist.
What Donkey needs is a Dr. Jennifer Melfi. But she needed her seven years ago. I honestly believe she’s too far gone now; the insanity is too deeply ingrained.
FIRST HAHAHAHA
Please forgive me Jacy I had to do it.
Newbies: FIRSTing is not done here unless you also say something funny. Notice I am breaking this rule too.
so embarrassed
Mom’s a little drunk, son. You might want to go hide out in your room because I just watched a killer Janis documentary and am about to start pinning feather boas in my hair and launching into Summertime.
xoxoxo 4 using “MANUFACTUR BULLSHIP”
Not a problem or a goal.
Forgive me, Stalker. Daddy had to cut you out of the will.
NOOOOOOOO I was counting on selling your collection of 1970s trucker porn on ebay and retiring to Costa Rica!
Julia’s hands. She doesn’t even half-ass things. She tenth-asses shit. If you’re gonna be a white girl throwing gang signs (please don’t) then do it like you mean it. She’s so fucking lazy. This is what I personally hate about her the most. She lazes through everything. She can’t even straighten out her sausage fingers and be an authentic poseur.
Maybe the fingers are just too heavy to lift and force into formation?
Seriously, she’s saying “I love you” in sign language. She fails at being (ironically) gangsta.
I think it’s actually (and forgive me for this moment of Donk defense) the “rock on”/”go longhorns” sign. Lame, yes, but not an actual gang sign. Oh Greg, do you think she thinks it’s a gang sign?!?
Yes, newbie, yes. And that is precisely the issue. She will throw up everything BUT a legitimate gang sign and think she is accurately gang signing, we know this because she has done the same thing before. It never gets less embarrassing and remains worrisome.
but her fingers are all as limp as any given schlong in her vicinity.
UT Austin isn’t Ivy League, so no.
‘Rock On’? I don’t even want to know.
MADGA!
biggest challenge? YOU ARE ON A REALITY SHOW. A BORING, DULL, STUPID ONE AT THAT. YOU ARE NOT SAVING THE WORLD. good god, i can’t with the donkey!
EXACTLY. Reality shows? Really? This is a goal now?
Manufacturing her identity on the show might have been a little challenging, even for a sociopath.
She’s been crafting this “character” for 4 years now.
From 2008: http://bigthink.com/ideas/5996
Never forget:
She only wants attention for nothing,
She created her own (failed) internet show to be famous,
She created a (failed) business/blog about herself,
She fed Gawker news about her in order to create news about her…then deny it.
THIS. IS. WHAT. SHE. DOES.
For anyone feeling the Bravo-is-so-cruel-for-exploiting-a-maniac sympathy, snap out of it. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she has been crafting her con for the last 4 years…even more. So well that even some ineffable basement dwellers have fallen for it.
It is a character she has been living and honing specifically for her day in the sun, and there is only one purpose for it: ATTENTION. It is her only goal.
She’s the opposite of Bethenny (who always says anyone who goes on a reality show with no product to promote is an insane, NPD asshole – I’m paraphrasing).
Thank you. A reality show centered on showing the world what a hideous piece of shit who fails at life you really are. YAY1!!!! LIFE IS GRAND!!!!!!
Another breakthrough?
What fresh circle of narcisstic hell has she broken through to now?
Dante only had nine but Donkey seems to have an infinite number to plumb.
I don’t think she’s too far gone, but I do think she’d need a nervous breakdown to reorient.
I agree – I think a full on “nervous breakdown” is the only thing that will save her at this point.
This is the woman who verbally accosted a mom and her two children in a grocery store parking lot as they waited for a parking space to open up. Greg forbid anyone hold up Donkey’s responsibility & job free lifestyle. She is vile.
Good point. Shows just how full of love she is, right?
That was a month ago! Why are you still worrying about that? No one cares!
Things have changed!!!
p.s. Added that lovely incident to the post. Love and light!
domain not found…… never reads here
I think the hyperlink is missing the : after the http. If you look through the archives, it’s still there.
This one incident was the one that officially made me hate her. Had she done that to me and my kids, I just don’t know what I would have done. But it would not be pretty.
The wallets, er.. men, are definitely gonna come running now that she has regained her sanity thanks to being on a reality TV show!
Thank Greg True Blood is on tonight so I can spend some time on wholesome entertainment and take a break from JAB
Breaking Bad is where it’s at, yo. Have not so loved a series since Carnivale.
Breaking Bad isn’t as good as the Wire or the Sopranos, but it probably is the best right now. Lately I have found it hard to believe the new plot angles–Mike will really work with Walter? The DEA couldn’t protect even one possible witness against the previous meth operation?
Spoilers! Bad Afghani!
So I have heard . My kids tell me I would like it. So Hulu it is .
I liked the premise and was lucky enough to watch 3/4ths of it this summer. I think all of it streams free due to the AMC/Dish rift.
Very dark–but wonderfully well-written. Walt is a great character and his subtle shifts–I very rarely get suggestions for teevees that I fall in lurve with but this was spot on. Hope you enjoy.
I am really loving Newsroom….anyone else? *ducks*
Sorry, I am a life-long (since Sports Night) Sorkin fan!
“Justified.”. Represent!
I will represent Kentucky and say that “Justified” is ridiculous.
Boyd Crowder nom nom nom.
Please use this picture with every post, at least until a better one comes along!
Or perhaps this beauty
http://www.bravotv.com/watch-what-happens-live/season-7/photos/show-shots/julia-allison-emily-morse-and-amy-laurent#image-130145
There’s a better one that Amy Tweeted where Julie truly looks like a barking seal but with ginormous buck teeth. It is awesome.
This one is just so full of awesome. From the small tiara that makes her head look even bigger, to the dead expression, to the half-assed gang signs, to the ridiculous dress, to how it looks like she’s popping a boner, to how greasy gross the pelts look.
Go to link Andreas. Photo caption. It’s The Awesome. #Bravohatesher
Can you see where they put her nose(s) back together?
Wow, you can really see it all. Kinda looks like the nose is all bruised under that make-up. Horrifying.
That backwards L on her nose is scaring me.
Unhinged Jaw AKA Gaping Maw hides a lot of honker reconstructs, eh?
How many dudes have had to deal with that face up in their business?
D0nkey’s eyelashes here remind of that time I slammed the garage door on a wolf spider.
Eeesh HD is not her friend
And what is going on with her chin? It looks all lumpy just like her nose.
Oh, crap, I’m late to the party on making fun of this pic. (Great minds and all that, Brayella!)
That’s because I obsessed over making it into a work of
shart. (I had some fun with the embossing tool to enhance the wrinkly eyes on that last pic, but all those wrinkles are really there, just flatter.)Holy shit she looks so old! I am the same age as her and I know plenty of women who are 35, 40 who look like they are mid-twenties compared to her.
I guess this is what you get when you fuck around with grifted plastic surgeons and stay up until 4am every night. Also those scheme juice must seep through and corode her face.
photo #10 of this set – enough with the skirt-pull already!
Also, what walls has Donk exhibited during this show?
The wall that was up when she dry humped the hot black guy after braying at him to kiss her for several hours?
The wall that was up when she forced herself upon William in the back of a limo, and then did the same thing to JellyD a couple of weeks later?
What fucking walls, Rhiannon/Magda/Glinda whoever you are? She has no walls. This bitch desperately NEEDS WALLS!
Donkua fought the battle of MissAdviced, MissAligned, MissAsscrime / and the walls came tumbling down.
Mr. Dadsers, build up this wall!
Now I’ll be singing this song all night.
Rubber walls!
Padded walls!
Miss Advised is all about Donkey and her Sugar Walls.
#SheenaEaston
loving this comment thread!
Yeah “breakthrough.” September is gonna be lonely.
The Curse of the Floating Golem be on you, Madga.
Love the comment from Rachel Billow. Makes it sound like she could give a flying fuck about Miss Advised, or she hasn’t read Julie’s FB /twitter. Me-OW. Didn’t they have a falling out?
Oh, well. At least I-Am Musical-Chilly appreciated the postmodern pink princess.
I kind of hope that Billow is raggin’ on the “MAZEL” …
(Six-ish months ago, I’d never heard the word …
In the last three months, I’ve heard it / read it probably >80 X …)
The new ‘gang sign’ throw-down?
Billow is close friends with Hipster Lawyer, whom Donkey treated terribly. Plus she ran out on Billow re: the Paris trip last year and faked illness so she could go to Burning Man. We had one tipster once and I was quite certain it was Billow. She knew a lot of stuff.
Donk also hit on Billow’s boyfriend.
i dont even understand why billow talks to after france happened. bitch would have been dead to me thats for sure.
I really don’t understand why anyone talks to her, ever, on purpose, if they aren’t either contractually obligated or share DNA and have to see her on holidays. What? Is wrong with people?
And Billow has known her since childhood/high school right? Certainly long enough to know her donkey tricks.
She’s so in love with herself, and herself is retarded. It’s so sad and so crazy. I don’t know how/why anyone humors her, on FB or anywhere, ever. I mean her family can’t escape but…how does she have even fake friends? I can’t.
I love how she has to point out she was on that show. Obvs Billow knows. She just needed an excuse to brag. Because I’m sure she didn’t pimp out her appearance enough.
She’s insufferable.
Whenever I hear, “[...] was a gift!” I flash immediately to a scene in The Craft (shuddurp, it was a work.of.beautay in the 90′s, not to mention SKEET ULRICH) where Nancy’s on the beach with the dead sharks yelling, “These are my GIFTS!” “Hail to the watchtowers of _____,” “I bind you, _____” and “I can feel you in me!!!” get tossed around pretty liberally as household memes. I was tiny&cute, teenaged and railing against society as only a teenager should, or could, get away with. I am two years older than A Donkey. “The show was a GIFT!!!” Barf. A .GIF, maybe.
I watched that movie when I was 9 or 10 and it definitely had an impact on my childhood. not in a way where I would consider appearing on a reality show a “life-changing gift,” but I still think about scenes from that movie from time to time. Like that creepy guy with the snake… *shudders*
This comment is a gift.
Donk really needs help but the Sopranos comparison might not work here. Melfi really only succeeded in making Tony a better sociopath.
But at least she challenged him on his shit.
He also nearly made her one.
I sometimes find it a little hard to separate Lorraine Bracco from Melfi… I used to absolutely LOVE her (not that I hate her now) but NYmag wrote a piece on her that was pretty interesting re the love triangle with Keitel and Olmos and it made me sort of think she really wasn’t acting when she played Melfi… O/T but link here if anyone wants to read: http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/people/features/1983/
There was a love triangle with Edward James Olmos and Harvey Keitel? I’m in.
Alright it’s late and I’m tired and haven’t read comments yet but…HOW FUCK is being on a bad television show that portrays you as a fucking lunatic such a gift?
I really can’t stand her fat ass. Dozens more americans now know you are a stupid bitch. Congratulations.
As you say, it seems viewers are in the dozens.
Another indication of fail – every week the upload to the international sites has been getting later and later in the week. This week I had pretty much given up when it finally appeared on Friday evening. At this rate I might not get to see the rest of the episodes at all!
Yes, I noticed this. Then I realized it was on Bravo in demand in NYC. I sorta half-assed watched two episodes, tried to explain to my boyfriend why I was watching boring stupid bitches be boring, and then sorta gave up. I just…don’t know why I am still surprised after all these years that this stupid piece of shit is spinning a show that portrays her as a veritable psychopath as the best thing that ever happened to her.
I love how all the haters are so so so wrong!!! But all three bored housewives in Indiana who think she is so precious and tell her so on FB are changing her life. Fuck you.
Make room, fatties! Here comes Donks with yet another catpeep!
LOL infinity.
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
Mr. “Good Life” @timothysykes is trying to get me to party at our hotel’s dance club, but I’m already in bed. Because I am old. And lame.
Christ give it a rest. She never gets tired of herself. We all get it. You are on vacay with a wallet/penis. Slow clap.
That’s called he’s avoiding going home to fuck you. It’s an old trick, and I’m sure you’ve seen it before.
It will be awkward when he kicks her out of the bed for sex with a random. She might actually get that subtle hint.
Cut her some slack. She’s probably tired from running in circles on the beach all day.
Yes, Julia, people do think you’re lame. They don’t think it’s cute, and they’re not joking. Not even a little. Staying cooped up looking at your phone or laptop instead of humoring the person you’re with at least for a little while is lame and selfish. You can’t be that tired if you’re on Twitter.
Here’s some free dating advice: men hate being perpetually shot down by selfish, whiny bitches. Instead of just forcing people to attend your pretty princess prom all the time and then refusing to do what they want to do, you might try this changing that you mention so often.
WHO IS SHE TALKING TO?? Gah, she is irritating the hell out of me these days.
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
“The job of an angel is not to pick winners, but to pick potential winners & help them become winners.” – Esther Dyson http://bit.ly/QENsGQ 7h.
Okay, no machine-gun kitties if this has been mentioned. But here’s A Donkey quoting airy bullshit about being an “angel” again. From Esther Dyson of all people. Her dad ws a great technologist, Esther has been milking that her whole life, Esther sits on the ten-person panel that decides what happens with the WWW in general. Otherwise known as “the Internet”. Barely earned, too much power I think. (Last I looked. I haven’t read Esther’s name in years. She probably has good reason to lay low. She was not-uncontroversial in her prime years, I imagine her grasping greediness way back in the day really appeals to Julia as ambition, and not a piggish moral failing. )
So have we all absorbed the wisdom from Julia Fucking Allison Baugher on what the job of an angel investor in an Internet company is? Have we all picked up this bit of wisdom, considered it from every angle and how it relates to our own lives, and thrown it in the trash? Good. Because that’s where it belongs. I really do get the quivers when Julia mentions “angel” investing. Like, she’d love to be a philanthropist and angel. Of course she would! You get the feeling that she gets the feeling she’s going to come into some money soon. Or she’s zeroing in hard on some dude and his wallet. Julia referencing “angels” means major delusions of grandeur are happening.
Major. I sense she’s on a high from some wallet, she’s again imagining herself as an “angel” investor. I guess any money from Her Grandmother was not much of an actual thing, actually.
Good Greg. Julia is trying to leapfrog her status as nothing to position herself as being elite among OMGfounders, and they need her for something. Fuck her.
Also, I had breakfast with Ester about 10 months ago when raising angel money for my startup. She was weird and didn’t believe we would do what we said we would (although we did since then, so whatever…she’s not an oracle). But she’s been to space and speaks Russian, so I guess she can do or say what she wants.
Julia, however, has done nothing. Any founder accepting angel money from her (if she even has any) would be accepting what we founders call “dumb money”.
Yes, if by technologist, you mean mathematical physicist. I’m reading her brother’s book right now (Turing’s Cathedral), and it’s very good, but I can’t stop wondering about the advantages he may have had in writing and publishing it.
Her desire to be an ‘angel investor’ seems to have begun this year, after Randi’s investments hit the tech press. Good luck keeping up with the Randis and Kevin Roses, Julia, since you don’t meet the definition of an accredited investor to begin with.
Her mentions of Paul Graham are just too ridiculous to even laugh about.
I still remember Esther’s piffle from the early 90s, including this gem: “The central event of the 20th century is the overthrow of matter.”
I don’t remember the piffle from that time, but what that quote suggests to me is: “I wanna say portentious things reminiscent of Information Theory even though I don’t understand any of it!”
The idea she was probably trying to bogart is: “Information is information, not matter or energy.” (Norbert Wiener)
Goodness, I have stories about Paul Graham, as well. Not for here, but maybe the next cat meetup.
As for the “overthrow of matter” I can see why Julia is referencing her. It doesn’t matter! It was ages ago! No one remembers! Overthrow of matter, indeed.
Keep in mind, Julia is in Hawaii attending a seminar from a guy who will teach you to make $30K a day by trading stocks. So 1998. Nuff said.
No mind, no matter!
What’s an accredited investor? And why does Donkey think she can hang with the likes of Facebookburg and Rose when it comes to that? In other words, just how much does she think she’s getting from NGMB?
More than she would have, had ol’ Granny seen Julia’s antics on #MissAdvised Now that Julesy has made batshit crazy her full-time occupation, it strikes me that her need for Granny’s approval (aka checkbook) was the only thing holding her back. As incredible as it may seem, I think we’ve only seen glimpses of how much insanity she’s capable of unleashing on the world.
NGMB$$ $$ will be rolling into her account probs by fall. It is burning a hole in that dressing gown Total Assface Donkey is romping around in. For Greg’s sake, she was more or less counting it this spring like frigging Scrooge McDuck as NGMB$ was on her way out. I remember a few “angel investor” tweets at that time. Greed becomes her.
She can’t snag a rich tech founder, so now she’s gonna try to grow one.
Any idea of how much NGMB had and how many ways it’s going to be split? She’d have to have been a billionaire in order to split it at least a few ways AND give Donkey enough to try to play with the big kids.
Remember– no one gave DonkBadonk ANYTHING since that nifty 10k upon graduation and Juliar has been earning the 6 figures according to her recent rant.
I doubt that she’s made 6 figures since Star (if that was even true, again, that came from Julia)–BRAVO, BeachBikes, CheesyMac dividends don’t add up. As much as she wants to brag that NonSociety pulled in 500k–hmm–maybe over 8 contributors and 3 years. Not exactly hot property nor “fuck you money” or else dumbell would have sold way before its ultimate fail and wouldn’t be frothing at the likes of Timbo Sykes, Ferriss Wheel and Tony (my 2nd or 3rd wife changed her name to Sage! authenticity!) Robbins.
My guess is she will get at least some $$/$$$. Otherwise she wouldn’t be getting all cray. But of course, she’s been making 6 figures forever so I don’t know why investing has alla sudden come to the forefront. I mean, all the bucks she saved sleeping on couches when traveling and paying “reduced rent” at the OMG condo for a year might have built a nice little nest egg.
I don’t think it’ll be enough for her to play. However, I do know this very friendly Nigerian prince who would help her if she helps him to sort a very difficult monies situation.
Exactly. Her last “big” payday that I can remember was that Sony Vaio campaign with Timberlake and Peyton Manning and whatnot and I can’t imagine she made 6 figures from that. But maybe someone knows more than I do.
Can you imagine JA bringing in her team of witches, tarot card readers, and psychics to a meeting with some OMGFounders looking for investors?
Actually yes I can, because that would be so Julia!