One of the best things about Miss Advised, besides the fact that a donkey has “exponentially” increased the number of people who despise her without any help from us, is watching the lies being told in live action and/or within all the “writing” she’s doing that’s linked to the show.
Here’s a roundup of just a few of them. God knows there are thousands to work with, but I have a real job running errands at my desk.
“Bravo had nothing to do with my column at Elle.com!!!”
It is to motherfucking laugh. In case you missed it, an insider smacked her down this week in the comments following a New York Observer piece that so enraged a donkey. Case. Closed.
—
“JellyD and I were very serious and dated for three months!”
Because chicks in serious relationships always publicly bray about dating other dudes. Whatever.
—
“I never/sometimes/occasionally get Botox injections.”
This, from the 2009 documentary Youth Knows No Pain (likely filmed in 2008):
Her blog, February 2009: “I’ve never had anything injected into my forehead or cheeks. Why would you think that?? I have bad acne.”
TMI Weekly, August 2009: “I haven’t got Botox before; I’ve gotten Restylane here before; I’ve gotten it twice, and I would do it again.” (Notice Meghan’s head snap at 4:09 when Donk denies Botox).
ChatGate, 2010: “no way dude! I’ve never claimed I never had plastic surgery!!!!! be careful. I always word things so I’m telling the truth. I said I never had botox!”
Email to RBD, April, 2012: ”Doctor Bobby has never done fillers; he did botox on me exactly twice and that was YEARS ago.” “I haven’t gotten a single injection from Doctor Bobby except for that botox.”
July 23, 2012, in response the Frisky’s Amelia Tweeting about her obvious fresh injections for WWHL: “@xoamelia - nope, I didn’t. It’s just makeup & lighting. I haven’t gotten Botox in over a year. I probably need it!”
All righty then, glad we cleared that up. She has NEVER had Botox or injections! Except when she did and does many, many times.
—
“Randi Zuckerberg and I are still very close.”
This might have been the biggest reason why her “exclusive” interview with the New York Observer — LOL, like she’s Katie Holmes!! — got spiked. Countless people in New York media circles know she leaked that nastiness to Gawker about Randi’s husband. And she is now trying to get Meghannaise to mend fences. Liar.
—
“Jack McCain and I were very serious, discussed marriage, and lived together.”
—
“I only talked about Jack months ago, before he was engaged.”
So she told Andy Cohen the other night. That’s right, she has totally kept her trap shut about Jack since filming wrapped up. Except for this, three days ago.
“Taylor met my last boyfriend, Jack, in Tahoe for my 30th birthday and wasn’t the biggest fan, to be honest. Not because he was jealous — there isn’t any of that, I promise you — just because he didn’t see it being a good fit, and he wanted/wants me to be happy.”
Bravo!
TNT!
Taxi TeeVee!
HI EVERYBODY!
It’s terrible what you did to her face! Before, at least Cuntia McCunterson could get away with being a complete asshole because she was attractive. Now she can only get fake dates with SAG card bribes.
He’s a dermatologist, not a surgeon. He probably did the injections, but not the actual surgeries that many believe she’s had (multiple nose jobs, chin implant, etc. etc.)
Oh does Dr. Bobby have good malpractice insurance?
Dr. Nick. Perfect.
it’s exhausting reading it – no wonder she can’t keep up with it all.
The botox one is both hysterical and fascinating. Its perhaps the best evidence of her psychopathy. She lies so easily from minute to minute, with absolute zero awareness or concern about being caught.
She’s a very sick individual.
She doesn’t realize that with each lie her already minute credibility shrinks even further.
By now, if I heard that Dr Bukakke grafted giraffe skin in her cooch and injected discarded motor oil into her face, I would probably believe it.
Isn’t it wonderful seeing awful people get exactly what they deserve?
let me be the first to congratulate you on your work
Julia Allison: “I just want to correct a factual error. I’ve never chewed on a tin can before.”
LOVE!
Ok, in 2009 I may have eaten a shoe, but I’ve changed so much since then!
It was a gluten free shoe!
Hay-SUS F*ck, she spewed this on Twitter into a conversation the guy was having with that “Tavi” freakshow: “@JeremyBronson @mindykaling - when do I get to visit the set?!”
Never, Julia. Never is when you get to visit the set. They wouldn’t have you on the show if you were the last trainwreck on earth, instead of just the biggest. Shut up, sit down and fuck off.
Is Jeremy the comedy guy she had two dates with then said wasn’t funny (presumably because he didn’t want date #3)? If so then Donkey has no shame. None, whatsoever. Like, less than zero. She insulted him publicly & now she wants a favour from him? She has serious mental issues.
Not just insulted him three years ago on Twitter, but publicly insulted him again recently when she said that he took a phone call from his mother during their date. Ass. Hole.
If my mom called me I would answer it. Why did she mock that? What a dick.
Right. This asshat d0nkey interrupts waitstaff in their busy jobs to have them take fauxtos of her on her dates, that’s okay, the little people don’t matter, but HOW DARE HE take his attn off of her, EVER, even if for a moment just to be sure that there’s no family emergency?
Does he not know who she is?
The asshat has a name, if you can believe it.
Perhaps Jeremy’s parents are divorced and so Donkey simply couldn’t abide him conversing with a mother whose family isn’t “intact.” Rule #Whatever from Juliar’s dating listicle.
P.S. Fuck you, Donkey.
JAB’s burning man outfit for this year?
That poor donkey. He looks so humiliated. Real donkeys actually have a sense of shame, unlike our Donk.
D0nkey do likez the yellowz on her hooves!
On a side note: Sure, fake journalist D0nkey will correct the spelling of the real journalist’s name after reading here & seeing her gaffe pointed out, but that’s what screengrabs are for.
Oh yeah? Did Hunter S. Thompsen ever have yellow nails?
I DON’T THINK SO.
JA – 1HST – 0
Her fingers don’t look as sausagey and stubby as usual here. Given how her bloated mitts are commonly mocked, could she be so insane as to have shopped/elongated her hands?
I doubt that, but she’s flexing really hard here ….
one collarbone is diagonal & one is whoreizontal.
Oh I was def thinking they looking like Vienna Sausage, Christ what do those things normally look like if this is an improvement? Cheuy on Chelsea Handler has leaner longer fingers. I am still voting for public sterlization on the reunion show. The World cannot support another sociopathic mutant donkey.
Um, stop with the forced sterilization “jokes” already. Not funny.
SP, please stop telling people what they can and cannot find funny. You seem to have a real sore spot when people make jokes about anything to do with conception/pregnancy, etc. The rule is don’t internalize the snark. It’s okay for people to think/feel differently than you do.
Um, sociopaths breeding is a grrreat idea-get over yourself skirt.
So where is the line, helobabe? Racist jokes not ok to object to? Anti-gay jokes? Forced sterilization is actually a serious thing that the Nazis did to the mentally disabled. Should I not object if someone says JA should be put in a concentration camp? When the jokes get uncivil, that’s what gives fodder to the people who denounce this site as a bully’s paradise.
lolz, you take yourself VERY seriously.
PS: crotch fruit
And LOL, you are an f’in asshole.
Your face is going to get stuck like that …
you rang?
OT: but this photo reminds me of all the “photobooth” photos the JA formerly in my life would take of herself and post to Myspace, Livejournal, etc.
They were always similar shots of her, with her hair placed just so to cover her arms, and her boobs sticking out as best as she could to make herself look more busty. Her expression was always the same in every photo (some sort of little-girl pout), and you could always see the piles of dirty clothes and other detritus spewed all over her unkempt bedroom.
So self-obsessed, so clearly a mess…
Great round-up, although dizzying to read. But the top graphic covers up her gelatinous raft ass with the flames. That was when she was thinner and could barely squeeze it into a size 8.
She was heavier then. She’s thinner now. You’re back, huh?
Have you seen her confessionals (or whatever they call them) for this shitshow?Not fat, but larger than before.
I think she’s bigger too. I think she’s using spanx for the midsection. Or perhaps she’s lost all her youthful muscle tone. After 30, you actually have to workout to maintain muscle.
i think she’s bigger too. but it’s so hard to tell because she doesn’t exercise or eat like a normal person, so i dont think she has much muscle tone anymore and is bloated a lot of the time.
Bigger doesn’t mean fatter, just that she looks larger/puffier than she did before. Poor eating habits, no exercise & general cray-cray all take a toll on the looks. Especially after that expiration date!
I think periodic reality roundups are a good practice at RBD. Newbies can be so confused by all the lies. It helps to have them all rounded up and shot down in one fell swoop every now and then.
Brayvo!!!!
Especially since I’m sure we have some lurkers who find us via the show. It’s a great way to quickly inform the viewers about what a Donkey she really is.
OT – who is totally psyched for BURNING MAN!?!! and by burning man, I mean Julia’s outfits and fauxtoshopping of her photos of her in her outfits!
Right?!? I know it’s easier to look good in a still photograph than in a video. But, dear Greg, compare her own photos to how she looks onscreen, and it’s sickeningly clear just how much fauxtoshopping goes into every. single. one.
Ha! Check out the wallpaper here. On the right, there’s one of her in a purpleish sports bra and spandex pants, and it’s obvious that she edited some volume from her thighs…because her vadge looks square.
Good photoshop catch – there’s no WAY that’s real.
That was a topic of conversation when she first posted that pic. I mean, who has a squared off vag???
Are those “abs” shopped, too? Spray-on-two-pack?
Almost certainly, given that she doesn’t exercise.
is she going to burning man this year?
She SAYS she has tickets. But who knows? Maybe she will go to Paris instead!
Only if she’s…never mind.
Excellent compi-lie-tion!
Being a good liar can’t be achieved without hard work and skill.
You need to keep track of your lies, you need to remember what you told to whom and even do some prep work when two people that have received different versions of story are going to meet, as it will inevitably happen at some point (Happy birthday!).
Donkey is lazy. Donkey is stupid. Donkey is a bad liar who can’t even get the more basics aspect of her story straight.
She tells so many at such a rapid rate and constantly changes slight details that it’s exhausting to try to keep up with the lies.
K, so, I wasn’t really intro’d to donkey until somewhat late in the game (post-J&J.com, during OG Baugher, before NS) and even after picking up on her being cray very early in the game, I wasn’t about to backtrack through the horizontal shitshow for perspective. SO, I feel SO. BLESSED. That a donkey has done a tumblr import to her new blergh that makes it easier to jump through points in her life – and vertically! I’ve been looking at the Star days and her behavior (I haven’t read enough to make comparisons though), attitude and mentality seemed WAY different than the desperate hosebeast of today. Granted she was attractive, making significant money, on the rise and the world was her oyster, but WOW is it night and day. Also… we need side-by-sides:
Considering the sausage snappers meme, this alarmed me…
Plus, the obligatory old school face/body shot. It’s no “This is the first time I’m trying on my HS prom dress. Still fits!” but I think it’s appropriate for comparison considering it was a few years AFTER that and in no way, shape, or form does a donkey still look like this.
Wow. It’s easy to forget that she was attractive a few years ago.
The hair length — SO much better.
The face and body — SO much more attractive.
The dog — still looks beleaguered, broken and brow-beaten.
Another case of Less Is More. Before the ridiculous pelts and cheap cosmetic surgery and injections, she looked fine.
That was probably also before she started wearing those costumey dresses, re-re headbands, and other ridiculously tacky over-the-top accessories.
Subtle would suit her so well, too bad she’s deathly allergic to that word.
Hair this length flatters her.
I just did this with my hand and couldn’t stretch my hands past the jkl; line. Big boned indeed.
taken individually it’s like who cares, but piling them all together? red rum red rum!
cuckoo cuckoo!!!!
Reusing an old image from JP because it fits here so well.
Donkey better watch out that all these lies don’t undo all the hard work and money invested in her proboscis.
GeppetoDadsers might not be in a hurry to throw good money after bad in repairing any lie inflicted nasal damage for our little Pinocchio.
All she’s going to take out of this is that you called her “little.” As in cute-n-tiny!
YOU RANG???!!!
speaking of the past, where did the donkey go to high school? was it boarding school? private school? even a magnate school?
Newtrier, public school in northern chicago suburbs.
Public school? Greg, how pedestrian.
‘scuse you; it’s very well regarded. Even though it numbers a donkey amongst its graduates.
I don’t have anything against the school (I’ve never heard of it before – literally have no one opinion on it, whatsoever). Just pointing out that it’s a little funny in light of her going on and on about Stanford, needing a husband with a great education – preferably an ivy one, wearing catholic school girl outfits, and hoping someone, ANYONE, will voluntarily compare her to Blair Waldorf
No, what I meant was that she brags about New Trier all the time because it is a good school (and famous! was used in movies! Sixteen Candles! OMG!) Nevertheless, even with that on her college applications, she couldn’t get into any school she really wanted to and ended up at Indiana, where she was apparently reviled to the point she made her dad buy her way into Georgetown.
ah, gotcha
– I would love to know what happened at Indiana that made her run (other than it not being even close to good enough for her…)
Dude quit with the “ended up at Indiana.”
It’s a great school. Girlfriend couldn’t hack it socially. That’s why she left.
Really? Like, she couldn’t get into a sorority – or what was the deal?
“Ended up” = Donkey’s P.O.V. I am sure that she couldn’t hack it socially or academically (there or anywhere.)
It is an incredibly fancy public school that serves several quite wealthy suburbs; it was created expressly to replace East Coast prep schools for rich Chicago suburbanites.
Our Julie would have been considered very much on the wrong side of the tracks by the queen bee girls from Kenilworth.
*New Trier
I went to New Trier—donkey ages ago.
The area along the lakefront of Lake Michigan is called
the North Shore. And, yes, very fancy with a HUGE push
on College Prep—even when I was there. My niece goes
to New Trier now, and came home from school after 2 weeks
of being a freshman in tears worrrying about college!
If Juliar had any common sense–she could have leveraged her New Trier/Georgetown history & connections to find a very fine spouse & live a very nice life! (I did!! and believe it or not, New Trier STILL comes up in interviews and important conversations with “Fantastic Moms & Powerful Sons”—really
from Park Ave to the Petroleum Club in TX) Not being boastful, just sayin’
#foreveralone #NPD #missadvised #bravo
New Trier is full of assholes, just like their parents.
Aaaand rung.
Have I been rung?
No. But if your name was alwaysbotoxed …..
We both have.
So honored, so fat.
AHEM — I believe the call was for ME. *nose in air*
Oh there are more than enough lies here to call both of us, I believe. We will never be starved for attention.
OT: So, catladies, I’ve talked about this before, but things are getting really down to the wire re: my job stuff. (I’d post this in the forum, but ss/sf, it’s still shut down…) I’m desperately looking for ANY work in NYC, even if it’s just temporary. (I’ve been applying to dozens of editorial jobs, but it seems like even though I’m qualified you need to know someone to get in the door.)
Anyhow, sorry for the intrusion to all this Donkey-riffic content… back to the bray cray!
Dont have any leads to offer but good luck to you, hope you unearth something lucrative.
Hope you find something. It’s unfortunately true that the people who “know someone” tend to get the interview.
is there an email I can contact you at?
Yes. Vegan04 at gmail dot com. Thanks!
What kind of job stuff? Do you edit academic work? Rates?
Anything, at this point. 15 years experience in journalism, but I’ve also edited academic/medical/legal journal articles and several books and dissertations.
Rates flexible. I don’t want to be taken advantage of, but I’m also not in a position to turn much down. Email is vegan04 at gmail dot com.
PP, have you registered at Aquent? I believe they place copywriters and they are the largest freelance agency in the city.
I will definitely do that. I’ve contacted a few agencies but not them. Thanks!
I’m really surprised she has not stomped back into the New York Observer to correct the person who said Bravo set up her Elle column. You know she is going back to check all the comments.
Come on, Donkey! I so want to hear your rebuttal!
You never have to keep track of what you tell people when you tell the truth.
If you lie about little things-(botox) you’ll lie about everything.
And this concludes the fortune cookie writing portion of a Day in the life of Donk.
This is what I never understand about chronic liars. It must be so EXHAUSTING to constantly have to keep track of what you said to whom. I was in a situation for a few months in my life when I had to tell a lot of big lies to a lot of people and I swore to Greg never, ever to put myself in that situation again. It’s an awful way to live. The relief when you end the lies and don’t have this fear/panic hanging over you all the time is so liberating.
It’s heartening to see, however, that she has changed so much after filming the show and getting therapy. It was clearly so life-altering. She’s just so very honest and authentic now. LIAR!
Didn’t you find that all the lies actually aged you? I had a similar (in theory at best) situation to yours. It was a means to an end but I cannot tell you how happy I was when that situation resolved.
Things I notice about many chronic liars are that they’re incapable of saying: “I don’t know” or just keeping quiet altogether — they’ll argue when you answer the question they just asked, even though the act of having asked in the first place proves that they themselves don’t know — it’s an insatiable need to weigh in immediately & they seldom, if ever, will acknowledge that they were wrong, even when presented w/ irrefutable truth.
I once had a job (phone sex operating) during college that I didn’t want anyone knowing that I had. I lied to my parents, lied to my friends, and it made me feel terrible when people asked where I was all day and I couldn’t tell them. When I quit, I felt so relieved.
I also once called some bully on the soccer team when I was 11 an asshole, and because my parents were so strict with me with curse words, I felt so terrible about saying it, and I didn’t want to get in trouble with my dad so I told him that that’s what the bully called me. I fessed up to the truth to my dad the next day because it was making me physically sick.
I can’t imagine lying about everything, all the time.
That’s because you’re not a sociopath. Or a donkey.
True.
I’m thinking about the stomach-churning I would get as a result of telling a lie, and how that type of behavior, longterm and unchecked, can really take a toll on the body. Maybe that’s part of the reason for all the injections/surgeries.
But then again, I guess it’s different for sociopaths– lying is like breathing for them.
Lying is justified to that type. Whatever it is that she wants at that moment – no matter how fleeting – is more important than anyone else or anyone else’s rights.
So disgusting.
Finally watching the show. It is SO much worse than the recaps. How is that even possible?
I know. It astounds me anew every single week how awful and cringe-inducing Miss Advised is whenever Julia Allison is onscreen. The recaps can only begin to capture the Canklehausen.
The only explanation is bravo’s thesis the entire time was that these ladies are single bc they’re complete loons. This whole quirky “don’t follow own rules” byline was a red herring so the trio would agree to do the show. I think bravo knew exactly the show they were putting together before filming. How embarrassing! Sorry if that’s too cpt. obvious – I’m just now actually watching the show. Apologies if that didn’t make sense because whoo happy hour!
Also – all the other people in the show are totally in on the joke. FP’s eye rolling is now legendary and I’m only on episode 3. See also menace, Emily’s brother and elle’s dude who met Julia regarding her column in ep 2. So transparent.
i can’t stomach watching a whole episode. then again i’ve never really been into reality tv so maybe that’s it. or maybe asshat is just so much an asshat that it’s unbearable.
eh. donkey will always be an asshat. most of us here have admitted that our younger selves were a bit reminiscent of le donk but then we grew up. she will continue being an asshat for the rest of her days.
OT but hey catladies- anyone ever been to frank lloyd wrights fallingwater in mill run pa? i’m trying to do/see as many things before the baby bump gets too large/aka before i get fat and physically immobile. tips and such, please? xoxo, bunnies!
Love FLW. I remember reading a piece about restoring the Falling Water location years ago when I was in Philly. Never been, but have always admired modernist architecture. Have fun!
It’s worth a visit, though autumn or spring would be best (its freakin swampy right now). Also Wright’s Kentuck Nob and Duncan House are nearby. I lived in a residence designed by a student/protégée of Wright for a few years in Manila (repsentational housing, folks are diplomats) and it was amazing. Congrats on your condition!
Also, George Nakashima’s museum/workshop in New Hope, PA is another good stop to put in the Wright visit.
Just noticed my name is spelled wrong on my avatar. Clumsy.
i’m thinking september- supposed to be less busy. and! i grew up in manila : ) will have to look into the nakashima museum- i didnt realize that was nearby!
Seriously at I.just.cant you grew up in Manila? We could exchange stories, I’m more of a makati boy but played in Malate. Love this. My house was the us ambassador residence on McKinley. Small world.
the latest tweet – why is she RT’ing this to him???
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
RT @HeyyPaula: Julia and Andrew are so cute. I love them together. #PROM @JuliaAllison
@Jellyd
Jesus Christ. She is such a psycho stalker.
OH NO
Once you fuck a donkey, the stench never quite leaves. Let that be a lesson to all the desperate males out there!
#FreeJellyD
fur realz!!
Let him free himself. He’s a grown up who chose to spend time with her, repeatedly. I save my sympathies for the likes of Lilly [sic].
Yeah, if its so bad why doesn’t he, or anyone in her circle, ever defriend her? Pancakes did for a time then she got him to add her again. I get that she is horrible and awful, but seriously it can’t be too hard to cut someone out of your life.
this isn’t just someone, this is a person who literally won’t leave you alone for years after repeatedly being told to leave you alone.
Is this her way of telling us she’s staying in the same hotel room with this guy?
@JuliaAllison: The view from The Modern … But where is @TimothySykes?? He got up at 3 am to trade. Now he’s MIA! http://t.co/IrbpCfln
Wait, what? Pillsbury Douchebro? She cannot possibly be bragging about hitting that.
Also, he said that on his Twitter. Legalese, bunnies!
MIA = hiding from JABz while tweeting nonstop per his Twitter.
Could this be the boyfriend? And this is her “subtle” way of letting us know she’s boning the dude? Because how else would she know what time he got up?
EWWWW
Because he tweeted it. She is such a liar. Pillsbury Douchebro is not her boyfriend.
I don’t know, she’s using “we.”
https://twitter.com/JuliaAllison/status/228750446922182656
And you know he only had to bang her once or twice and she’d be calling him her boyfriend.
“Thank you for the advice, we will!”
And yet he hasn’t mentioned her ever. I just don’t think it’s on; I think she’s trying to shuck someone/make them jealous.
And yet…it would be so amazeballs if Amy Laurent fixed Juliar up with her reject, Timmy Sykes!! Would she waive the commission? Give a Miss Advised discount?
This is what I speculated about a few posts ago when she was admitting her behavior was desperate. It’s like she doesn’t mind how bad she looked *then* because she has a boyfriend *now* so the end justifies the crazy means. Plus she’s acting smug.
Is this another psycho stalker tweet? Is this the same Toph that she ‘dated’?
@JuliaAllison: HA Toph is obsessed with that dog! Say hi for me! RT @TarynSouthern: My friend Toph’s dog thinks he’s a baby human. http://t.co/AA4jXlh4
Why does she always jump into other people’s tweets? Nevermind, I know there’s no logical explanation. Sigh.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with jumping in a tweet, but she does it just to piss and claim territory. Like, HA YEAH I KNOW HE LOVES THAT DOG BECAUSE WE’RE STILL REALLY CLOSE.
Desperation is a stinky smell.
Exactly!
I DATED HIM I DATED HIM I DATED HIM WE WERE VERY SERIOUS SIX WEEKS SIX WEEKS HE CAME TO NEW YORK WE WERE VERY SERIOUS I DATED HIM I DATED HIM
HE WAS INSIDE
hahaha, ewwww
So close she has to tweet Taryn to say hi for her! Not to say this isn’t an embarrassingly obvious donkey no-mates full agenda situation, that’s kind of a given. But what’s wrong, donkey? Number AND email blocked? The swiffer says hello.
You’re in motherfucking Hawaii, bitch. Why aren’t you on the beach sipping a cocktail and swimming, instead of obsessing on guys who dumped you?
Amen. Just did a twitsearch and she’s losing it!
Aside from the stalking she’s offering to make out with some guy who says he scores 68 on her list and wanting some random Hawaian fan to tour her around the island.
Oh, and a newsflash! She now says sex is ok after 5-6 dates.
Go to the beach and sit down, you Donkey!
Is this the same Topg she threw under a bus after her e-cheating column after I correctly speculated that it was about Pancakes?
I wonder if someone (maybe a voice in her head) suggested she was too stupid and unhip for JellyD, and the ego wound now has her yoo-hooing Bronson and Eggers to prove to one and all that intelligent men have put up with her for a few hours here and there.
Thith.
I love all the “WE”s in her tweets. She’s implying she’s there with someone. So gross.
Alice Zuls @speedster1961
@JuliaAllison @timothysykes Gosh, if I knew you, I would take you around the Island – love playing hosts to my out-of-town guests.
JuliaAllison @JuliaAllison
@speedster1961 – we’d LOVE that!!! I’ve never been here before!!!
Hmmm. Pillsbury Douchebro (love it) FTW?
Pillsbury Douchebro? Sounds like a good story behind that, pls!
He looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy and he’s a Douchebro. Check out his FB and you will never stop laughing. “Hey, guys, which Ferrari should I buy?”
Also, his mum works for his business.
Sounds perfect for her.
Major tool.
Someone should whip out that “Are You My Husband ” pix and affix PD to it.
“Are You My Husband,” as in a mocking of the children’s book “Are You My Mother?”
Thanks AQ. I hate feeling like I’m missing out on an awesome meme!
Ah, you were seconds ahead of me!
I think ‘Are You My Husband’ was created by a cat lady for one of our photoshop contests. I just removed Julie’s face and added Pillsbury Douchebro’s.
Ah, I like it!
WTF is this ‘never been here before’ crap?! last time i checked, she visited hawaii before, with hipster lawyer.
Maybe she means that particular island. That said, can’t wait to see what 158 pounds looks like.
Can we not with the weight stuff.
It is such a pointless discussion to have because the way some people carry 138 pounds or what the fuck ever can be totally different than how someone else carries it. It all depends on muscle tone, body shape, etc etc. And it always leads to a brawl of some sort. So let’s not and say we did, mommy’s angels!
Jesus Greg, that was a joke — based solely on her own proclamation about the 138 pounds. I don’t know or care what she weighs (objectively, she looks fine) — my comment was in response to her weird need to quantify things — weight, sips, number of months/weeks/days/minutes she was so seriously involved w/ whoever. Sorry if my comment rankled somehow, but internalization of the snark is discouraged hereabouts.
Anyone that attention seeking invites ridicule.
I thought that Hawaii trip was a law firm function and that she went with her parents, but hipster lawyer was going, too.
We thought that at first but no, Hipster Lawyer went and she came along. I think he was attending a conference though, when he wasn’t taking photos of her in a bikini so she could immediately post them to her blog.
But Hipster Lawyer took her to Hawaii.
Yep. This is from that trip. I remember being appalled by how much makeup she wore to the beach:
The Wonder Bread Loaf suit!
what IS SHE WEARING?!?!?
This
Right foot…donkey punch to blue
And there was this:
That might be the famous THIS IS WHAT 138 POUNDS LOOKS LIKE shot.
Oh man those were good times. Also, poor Hipster Lawyer. She used and abused him and complained to friends that he wasn’t good-looking enough and was lousy in the sack. All class.
There’s another picture, where her shadow looks like a swamp creature out of the sea, or has she removed it?
@How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back
This one?
No, it was a full body shadow & it really seemed as though the guy had shopped the shadow (she must have turned into a real bitch before the trip was over) — maybe it was like a giant locust, the more I think about it …
This?
She looks cute there. I would be beside myself if my looks had gone downhill that much in only a few years.
By “there” I mean in the “running/cartwheeling” one, not in the last one. Her shadow really does look like an alien from Aliens in that one.
What happened to her boobs??? Was it all just padding all the time?
that might be what 138 pounds looks like after a LOT of photoshop
honestly, I’m 4 inches taller and I look like that at about 125… there’s no way!
Let’s not go there. You’ll get someone coming on here to say she is obviously 160 pounds. I am built very much like her and I look like that when I am at 138-140.
p.s. Except you have much better legs!!!!!!
THAT’s it, Dr. Gary! Oh, the lulz!
Is she proud of that 138? Really? Damn you donkey I always forget that you’re not self aware.
Body weight is nothing to be either proud or ashamed of, for fuck’s sake. I’ve already been to seventh grade, let’s not do it again all over here.
She looks cute, aside from the fact that she probably spent the whole time taking pics instead of enjoying that gorgeous beach.
I forgot how many great pix there were from that trip:
Ugh, so the ugly white skirt that looked like a tennis skirt in the old photo taken in NYC actually is an ugly white tennis skirt. So fashionable. And totally trendy to wear it with other items that are not tennis clothes.
The sandy beaches of Hawaii are truly magical. you can run on them and NOT LEAVE FOOTPRINTS.
When you’re only 138 pounds, you’re too light to leave footprints. Sort of like Maris Crane.
*** Pls note that I’m NOT mocking people who actually do weigh 138, only a donkey who tosses out that random # and then edits the shit out of her photos.
That’s! what I meant. To give a firm number then alter the evidence – so so weird. Thank you Queen – you put it much better than I did.
She is dying for the world to know she is part of a we. We should be getting an anonymous email soon from a Hawaiian IP address. She has changed so much! Miss Advised was life-changing!
And this guy seems like a douchetastic fucking dickhead, go check out his FB page. He is right up her grifter alley, but even that douche can do better than Donkey. This oughta be interesting. I am popping the popcorn now.
I just read his tweets, & he sounds perfect for our D0nkey! She’s probably trying to (um, er, oops!) get knocked up in Hawaii, cuz she knows pickin’s are really slim now.
Not buying it at all. He’s been “working” all day, per his Twitter! If they were actually banging, he would have at least taken some time out to have lunch or a drink or something.
Jesus, he’s THIS guy?
http://www.timothysykes.com/2012/06/tune-in-to-see-me-on-bravos-new-show-miss-advised-tonight-at-10pm-est/
The fat boy Amy didn’t like because he talked about his fancy condo? No wonder Donk’s man radar went off. Also, this show is incestuous. Flusher Price is now with Lewis who dated Amy. Donk is suggesting she’s with Fat Boy who also dated Amy. When’s Amy going to start fucking Menace, and Emily’s going to start boning Lorenzo?
Lorenzo is dating Tinsley Mortimer, so they’re all out of luck on that one.
Is he related to Plum & Lucy?
No, he’s from the US. Went to Tulane, and graduated from high school in Connecticut.
He went on a date with Amy in the first episode of “Miss Advised,” which is wherer he got the name “Pillsbury Douchebro.”
Oh shit!! Now that I know who he is, I really love it that Amy didn’t even give him a chance. She gets points in my book!
BTW—nobody’s pointed this out already, have they?
https://twitter.com/LBorghese/status/225277456754540546/photo/1
His website looks JUST like Donk’s “learn to love dating video” with TJ she did awhile ago, remember? Where you needed to enter your email address? Even the “As seen on” with the logos is the same!
omg so tacky.
LoLing at her tweet re: Toph and implying they are friends. They 100% do not speak and the last time she said they were still friends, four people came Here to confirm that. Definition of irony considering the title of this post.
She’s probably seeing red that Taryns at his place. Those two are way more suited for one another.
LOL I love your last suggestion. A donkey sees (read: stalks) Taryn’s tweets in hopes of keeping a Cali BFF so as to stay relevant after the inevitable silence and “NEXT”-ing when MA is over. “Ex” (I am not convinced he is not even and never truly was) Toph is hanging with a tiny & cute. All she’s thinking about is the potential of their hooking up (is if this may or may not have happened already and a donkey would never know?) and going to pound town. Solution: INTERJECT. “Here’s a reminder Taryn! His tongue was (allegedly) in my mouth and his sword (allegedly) in my clam dungeon! Say hi for me!” For Toph it’s more like “REMEMBER ME?” He doesn’t.
exactly like a male dog peeing on a lamp post. “I was here first!”
Tim aka code name Pillsbury is a major MAJOR downgrade from the men she’s dated before. Damn, even Amy Laurent didn’t want him!
I think she’s using him to make someone else ( jelly d!!!) jealous. He’s the Michael Actin Smith to her Jelly Donut.
It’s not nice to make fun, but I couldn’t help loling at your “Michael Actin Smith”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actin #nerdhumor
Someone else would have to speak directly to that. I think it stings more to stay FB friends but never answer their Tweets Texts and calls. By not unfriending her they don’t have to be harassed like pancakes was and that’s one plus
Oh god. She’s wearing those circulation-killing cutoffs in the photo she just tweeted. And her hair is RED.
Trying SO HARD to be funny: Someone thought “this statue seems like a great artistic choice for the front of our hotel!” Perplexing.
Hmm, a statue of a native Hawaiian doing a dance out in the front of a hotel in Hawaii. Why on earth would they put that there? Fucking idiot.
She is such a fucking hick. So uneducated, so culturally unaware.
Really? That would be the dancers at the Hilton Hawaiian Village that celebrate the spirit and traditions of the place. She’s so clueless and disrespectful.
Also, it’s not even part of her hotel.
Also, why would she wear those gross cut-off’s? She doesn’t own any nice sundresses?
Paging Dr. Gary, I think I need some repairs!
I haven’t even been to Hawaii and it only took me a second to realize what the statue was of and that she is a total moron who should just accept her spinsterhood and disconnect from the internet.
I know we’re not supposed to poke, but I just commented on that photo. So stupid.
You do realize that you’re in Hawaii and that is a statue of a native Hawaiian? Read a book. Seriously.
Did she remove the comment? I can’t see it.
Replied to the wrong comment, sorry! I deleted it because I felt guilty about posting it, and I didn’t want to give her cause to make a scene.
I don’t know which is funnier in a 31 year old “writer”: her boorish ignorance, or her need to be photographed imitating the statue’s pose.
No, I felt guilty and deleted it. Didn’t want to fan the flame.
I feel you. 2 percocet coming right up.
mrs.knight @toesdoneup
@JuliaAllison you are in hawaii, the hula is a BIG part of our culture. the fact that you are perplexed by this is insulting.
@toesdoneup – That statue is doing the hula!?!?
“That can’t be the Hula … there’s no hoop!”
“Perplexing,” indeed.
http://www.hmdb.org/Photos/41/Photo41951o.jpg
sssf
It continues…
@Mrs_B_in_FL
#missadvised @Juliaallison You know your roommate called you out on the ridiculousness of your checklist. Ouch. And Andrew is running…fast
@JuliaAllison
@Mrs_B_in_FL – LOL – what did you think @JuliaPriceMusic ?
1. Pretty sure this wasn’t what Toilet signed up for – validating JA’s behavior and propping her version of events at every turn. She isn’t the only one who will end up regretting this decision.
2. What, no @jellyd? I suppose even she knows what everyone else does and has for awhile now. Protip: RTing your misguided “fans” talking about how great you are together to the same guy who has gone radio silence since even before the premiere and actually had to DEAL with you? Not a good look. Try (or in your case, fail) harder.
Heh. Remember the Observer article when the show premiered, and how she was angry that the writer hadn’t checked with Toilet, ‘someone who really knows her’? Seems to be an old pattern with her “sisters” — I lie, and you swear to it. Until the eagle flies, anyway
Oh, I CANNOT WAIT for the inevitable disintegration of that friendship. Picture it.
- Toilet might have only SLIGHTLY picked up on the fact that she was/is a psycho from the getgo (she’s quirky, y’all!) but it’s pushed along with the 73 point checklist that a donkey herself couldn’t even fulfill.
- Toilet went on the show to promote her music and advance her singing career (which quite clearly wasn’t happening IRL or as a result of the show… #shade) but had to resort to making a song about the insanity of a cast member. A song that she probably doesn’t even care about re: sales/popularity/viral factor… unless, of course, it does well MAJORLY… which it won’t.
Toilet HAS TO appreciate the recognition for the dumb song so long as people end up curious enough to listen to whatever her “music” is, and then she will very politely brush it (the experience and donkey) off later. Ultimately, her career will have received ZERO boost from her involvement and tolerance with donkey and that’s going to suck for her.
How was being on the show going to promote her ‘music career’ when they don’t even use her real name?
She seems like a weirdo because you couldn’t pay me to live with a dip shit but who is so stupid with Bravo branding that they don’t use their professsional name?
I don’t think she knew they were going to be so confused by two Julias.
She should’ve pushed to be “Julie” or “Julia+middle name” (as long as middle name isn’t unwieldy).
price IS the middle name. KARMA
https://www.facebook.com/timsykesfans
According to his facebook, he was in the Maldives 13 hours ago. If he posted that and immediately hopped on a plane, he’d have arrived in HI one hour ago.
Something in the milk ain’t clean. In other words, he’s perfect for our Donkey.
Did he have a stroke? Lack of control of facial muscles/friends with donk, might explain a lot.
His vacation includes locations on the opposite side of the world. I had to confirm that the Maldives are SE of India.
I’m sorry, but that pic at the top looks like she lit one of her farts and didn’t realize just how potent it was
I think I remember her saying something to the effect that she would NEVER date Wall Street guys bc they were too boring back in her NY days? Am I remembering correctly? If so – oh how the mighty have fallen!
Yes. There is video. Someone is interviewing her and it was during a visit to LA. Its back when she dyed her hair red the first time.
Who can see her trying to be the next bachlorette?
Is she in Oahu right now? I have family vacationing there by Diamond Head. I hope their view hasn’t been ruined by hoof prints in the sand.
Flusher is with Lewis now? Ewww he has had his dick in donkey, ferris, Amy, and now this…. Gross
Wait, wut??? Lewis hooked up with Tim Ferriss? LOL.
John Kim: Julia’s parents must pay for her nice apartment on the beach and her car, last i heard bloggers don’t make much, haha
Julia Allison: No, John Kim, actually, my parents haven’t contributed any financial resources to my life since they paid for college and gave me a graduation gift of 10k – in 2004. I make six figures a year and I don’t make my money from “blogging” – I make it from writing articles, speaking, tv, reporting, consulting, products (like my new Beach Bike) and endorsement deals.
Where is this from???
Juliar’s facebook page. It was a comment on the shabby chic photo she posted.
Just recent? She’s in Hawaii pretending to be half of a “we” & what she’s really doing is creeping her own fecebook page, arguing w/ people?
FB says she posted it 2 hours ago.
You’re in Hawaii! Stop fighting with people on the internet and enjoy yourself.
Boyfriend must not be working out. Donkey is defensive with her fb fan.
Six figures a year? It is to laugh! And will she get over that 10k gift.
Also, has she read this guy’s post on the Miss Advised page–he’s a real nut job.
six figures: $9,999.99
That’s seven figures if you count the decimal.
Eight if you count the dollar sign, so it’s more like $999.99.
Wait, that’s about what I am clearing this year. I should have a seat.
and how exactly is she making money from the Beach Bike?
I think she’s including the monetary value of free stuff she gets from shilling and grifting.
So she makes in excess of $100000 per year, but feels obliged to mention that this one time she got a free bike worth less than $500?
Yes, when asked about my income, I usually mention my paycheck and a dime I found in the street in the same sentence.
Love that!!! I also loved when she said she save 30 percent of her earnings. How in the world?
And why did she capitalize it? Such a great writer.
Next she’ll be including a free cup of soup and free cup of coffee to her “salary.” 6 figures + $5.50
Come on, that Beach Bike company is a mega-corporation; Fortune 500 for sure! They have a SHIT LOAD of cash to throw around. If by a shitload you mean $100 or so.
I read about them in Fast Company…lulz
That makes you sound pretty marriageable!!!
Julia makes or endorses a beach bike? Hahahaha
The vulgarity of this comment astounds me. Who the fuck talks about how much money they make, it’s gross and poor form….even for a Donkey. It’s so fucked, it’s the like the name dropping, so transparent, so ugly, so brash, and so uncouth.
I thought that too! The huscat and I had a conversation early on that I was raised to NEVER discuss money, and the people around him would openly discuss it (salaries, the cost of your home, everything). I couldn’t believe it. Seems totally uncouth to me.
I have been in a serious relationship for several years and he doesn’t have a clue how much I make and I don’t know how much he makes. We are both of British heritage and it “isn’t done.” Obviously if we were married, we’d have joint bank accounts and we’d know, but not until then. But Donk feels a need to share this with a stranger on her wide-open Facebook page. Why not just remove his comment? L-O-S-E-R.
that’s exactly what I thought. Throwing in the “six figures” was completely unnecessary. What a tacky donkey… she should really hire a mouthpiece because she does not know how to present herself.
Can you imagine if this comment leaves her susceptible to a low-end grifter looking for a sugar mama?
She’s so tacky and gross. What is wrong with her?
Six figures a year, yet…
Complains about the cost of health insurance.
Is shocked at how much car insurance is.
Leases the cheapest luxury car she can find.
Bitches and moans about $25 checked luggage fees.
Now, I’m not saying you can’t make six figures a year and be thrifty at the same time, but she just comes across as so CHEAP and scammy. Doesn’t add up.
Also:
Begs for free stuff constantly (or has interns beg on her behalf).
Shills for Cheesy Skillets, etc. Assuming she gets $50 a tweet (I have no idea what they pay), is it worth it to dilute your brand with garbage like that?
Her reply is certainly full of lies and exaggerations, but it’s possible that it was NGMB$ who had been supporting her the whole time. Dadsers providing her with a free condo for a year (digital nomad, yo!) didn’t hurt either.
(continuation of inconsistency:)
* Holds online yard sale of ratty clothes
* Wonders out loud how to pawn Cartier watch
* Couch-surfs her broke, pearipathetic raftass
Is if D0nkey “makes” six figures a year, it’s those six times she records her BMI calcs into a spreadsheet.
you rang?
Maybe she is now counting the GMB inheritance.
Legalese again bunnies
D0nkey can certainly afford to pay people back for fronting her Pretty Little Princess parties, if she’s making that kind of money, eh CDB?
Yeah, good luck w/ THAT!
It was years ago, no one cares!
* tries to sell gift cards that she got for free for cash
correct me if I’m wrong, but did she not receive one of the Armani Exchange cards to give to a reader? So, technically, it’s not even hers to give?
(I was invoking the d0nkey there in that last line, not giving you grief, as it may be misconstrued …)
Cut!! Don’t use that!
Damn, I am replying wrong in so many ways — ^ was a disclaimer to CDB re: d0nkey payback, etc.
#AttributionFail
Amazing new comment on that velvetroper.com piece (link above re: Bravo setting up her Elle column):
Libby • 12 hours ago
“Hi Julia,
I think as human beings we are able to detect behaviour that is potentially dangerous to us, including narcissism and psychopathy. One of the hallmark traits of both disorders is the inability to empathize with others.
When someone writes an angry message to you, in a comment, tweet, whatever, and you respond with a “:-)”, you are showing that you either don’t care about their feelings or you are oblivious to them.
If a friend approaches me to address behaviour that has upset them, I don’t smile at them and throw back a cutesy, dismissive one-liner. That would be disgusting and I would be left with few friends, right? If I proceeded to only address my side of their concern and never stopped to think about why they feel the way they do, that would also be unsavory, right? Do you see where I’m going with this?
People feel you are the “worst person in the world” because they feel they are somehow connected to you or your platform. Your public behaviours are often disturbing, offensive, and upsetting. These people are likely in your age group, have worked with you, or know you from school, etc. You are not a famous person, and have a pretty limited public presence, so rest assured that the majority of anti-fans know you through real life assocations. You are in their extended circles and you likely come across as the worst person in that group. You have offended them, and continue to do so.
Because you are reluctant to address these negative behaviours and continue to act out publically, their hostility grows.”
Team Libby forever!
Is Libby a cat lady????
*cough* How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back *cough*
Nah, not moi; I was winking in agreement to ‘Team Libby forever’ cuz that’s one smart cat & her words pretty much fuck a d0nkey over.
The beautiful thing about the Miss Advised fallout is that I don’t actually think the vast majority of negative comments on various sites are coming from cat ladies (mostly because a lot of the writing isn’t very good and there are lots of spelling mistakes — most of us Shitheads know how to spell). She’s created a whole new army of haters.
Well said!
You little scamp! That was the bomb.com!
Donkey, I want to stop laughing at you, I really do, but you are such a magnificent jack ass.
I’m not sure which is funnier and more pathetic. Your “WE WE WE” tweets about this Timothy Sykes tool. The fact that he hasn’t mentioned or acknowledged you in any way. The fact the you think a grifter pink sheet stock scammer is a legitimate and successful finance person. The fact that you think your tweets are making someone jealous and others envious. Or that last Toph tweet, which was among your most pathetic, desperate, transparent tweets ever (which is saying a lot).
I really do want to stop laughing. But I can’t stop until you do.
I made the mistake of falling down the Sarah Jenks wormhole, one of Donkey’s idols, apparently, because she landed a husband. Oh boy, check it:
http://thebreathtakingbride.com/blog
Oh Greg. That was the saddest rooftop cookout ever. The sad-sack, too-small tablecloth. Those pitiful daisies. The bat-cray look in her eyes peering over the blackened burger.
Not as sad as the fact that Donkey obviously reads that blog religiously, weeping all the while, probably. Jesus.
Sorry, I meant to say it took my breath away.
“It’s always been my dream to have a rooftop dinner.” Oh honey.
And this, from her bio:
“Sarah Jenks, founder of the Breathtaking Bride, is a pioneer in the bridal nutrition industry, a leader in holistic weight loss for brides.”
The bridal nutrition industry. All righty then.
“bridal nutrition” = how to starve yourself down two dress sizes in a month and still not pass out during the ceremony
ugh how I hate that “bride” becomes a woman’s identity, (at least for some women).
A person is a bride for the duration of the ceremony. dunzo.
It’s not the title that’s creepy, it’s their fetishization of it.
Did you all hear about the wack/hack job doctor in NYC that was putting bride’s on feeding tubes one month before the wedding? (sorry if it was discussed already)
“Don’t just default to your wife or think that she’s in charge”
“It is critical for there to be room in a relationship for individuality”
~Jonathan (Sarah’s husband)
Dear Jonathon,
Sarah makes you sign off in that ‘individualized’ (He’s MINE!) style, doesn’t she?
Ramble post alert.
Guys, I’m on the prom episode. I know – late to the party and all but I’m horrified. This is so much worse than I thought. So much worse. If your authentic self is reliving prom night every year…well, you need major help. I’ve been around rbd/rbns for a long time and I never thought she could outdo herself. This is performance art, right? Am I watching Taboo? Hooooly crap where does she go from here other than a princess character at Disney World? Jaded cowboy cat is officially stunned. I don’t even care about the lying. Even if everything she said was true she still comes across as a complete lunatic. This site is the last of her worries.
Her whole liefth is basthed on perthepthion and prethentathion, donkcha know.
The Prom Episode makes her look like the poster girl for sanity compared to the episode after that.
Watching now.
I thought most people designed items for charity, no? I’ve made shoes at nikeid.com but I don’t call that a source of income.
Gather round, cat ladies. Here’s a little story that neatly ties together Donk’s cheapness and her mistreatment of Hipster Lawyer:
He once booked a flight for her, which she missed. Instead of waiting at the airport for the next flight, she booked another one with a different airline and tried to purchase it with his credit card (because he’d given her the number over the phone so that he could pay for the original flight and she did the booking). Seems she memorized his credit card number, though, and attempted to use it to book the new flight, and then freaked out when the new airline told her they needed to see the actual card. She then texted him that she was forced to use her own card, so he’d have to pay her back the full fare.
Why would any man put up with that? She (and women like her) are the reason why I hypervigilently pay for everything myself. I hate her kind to the core of my being.
no self respecting man would put up with that!
Oh wait…. never mind… um, er, oops….
Well, he told friends the story in disbelief, so that was clearly the beginning of the end.
thongs have been going over your head lately…. you feeling ok?
things not thongs
Thongs are always getting caught in my hair!
No, I got it, I was replying to Watermelon Wonder.
Ok good I always get confused with the stacks. if only this was a sideways scrolling blog it would be so much easier.
That restores hope.
Wowowowowowowowow…….
Her parents are responsible for that attitude. Good job.
Anyone know why she’s spending 10 days in Chicago in August? Did she rent the mdr apt out? Is this about Chazz Foreman?
She’s probably trying to get Hipster Lawyer back again, like she did for months after Prom King dumped her, despite telling friends he was lousy in the sack and unattractive. And he’s actually cute, highly intellectual and very accomplished. Classy dame.
You are all so hateful… can’t you find something better to do with your lives than criticize others so harshly? Shame on you all. Especially whoever started this site its just unkind and childish… honestly, it reflects more on how unbecoming you are all than this woman… Shame on you all!
Hey, Ditchpig! What’s up with all this hate and criticism? Don’t you have anything better to do with your time? Shame on you for trying to bury a turd in our sandbox. Now fuck off.
I have a sister named Laura. She’s a self righteous pain in the arse too. Also, fat.