Lies

Watching preview of the 7th ep. For the record, I dated Andrew almost 3 mnths at this point. Somehow that turned into 2 dates on the show.

Huh. According to our wily, sleuthy commenters, she still hadn’t met him on Nov. 30 according to a message she left on his Facebook wall. Prom date was Dec. 3 (not 4th, corrected); that was the first date. The dinner party meltdown was still after just one date, right?

In late January, she was in San Francisco taking in one of his shows, and acting like an ass, according to tipsters. But she was out on a date on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14, just two weeks after that, with that hideous British Michael Acton dude — her “fourth date” with that guy — despite saying on Emily’s radio show recently that she and JellyD were “very serious” for three months. Three dates with “the Brit” before Valentine’s Day? So doesn’t that suggest she was single and not in a “very serious” relationship with anyone for three months?

In March, however, after her Valentine’s date, she left her grandmother’s deathbed to go appear in a JellyD music video that, mysteriously, has never been posted to YouTube or his website, which, apparently, is highly unusual for him.

In April, after trying to get us to leak that she was dating DeStorm, she emailed us this:

Andrew and I are just friends and have been for quite some time.  He’s a good kid, but no one is trying to make anyone jealous.

Another development: She is telling people that she has a boyfriend right now. Not sure who it is or how long it’s been going on. But she has told friends and acquaintances that OMG OMG OMG she has a boyfriend OMG OMG OMG. Charles Forman? DeStorm? If it’s true, it makes her incessant cyber-harassment of JellyD even weirder.

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159 Responses to Lies

  1. Donkeycam Now! says:

    She posted a link to Jelly D’s youtube page in her “column” on the Bravo blog.

    Does it mean the whole thing was just a cross-promotional tit-for-tat agreement?

    Nevah forget that reality TV is mostly scripted and heavily edited.

    • cola champagne says:

      I saw that as a move to let him know that he wasn’t going to be able to erase that show from his resume, especially because he made no mention of it anywhere and he is so involved in social media that it’s definitely deliberate.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yes. She will not be ignored! Even by people who are politely ignoring her.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        She is also crazy and has no idea how bad and psycho she comes off. She thinks he should be proud of Miss Advised. That she did this “good kid” a favor getting him on the show. And now it’s obvs going to launch his music career! All because of her!

      • Breakfast Burro-ito says:

        I just came from a brief tour of Jelly D’s 11th grade talent show of a website. I may be alone here, but I think the Donkey and Jelly D deserve each other. Both of them want a constant audience.

    • 11th Wang says:

      My theory of Julie’s plan to ensnare Jelly D:

      She approaches him as a stranger, a friend of a friend, and/or admirer of his Internet presence. “I am looking for someone to play the part of my boyfriend for my Bravo reality show. I saw your xx through xx and I think you’d be perfect. All you have to do is appear in 4-6 episodes (up to you), Bravo will pay xx amount AND plug your music. Plus you’ll get a SAG card. I know, it’s so lame hahahaha but the producers say I need a regularly appearing love interest and trust me, it will be FUN and EASY. ;-)”

      In Julie’s world, there is no boundary between fiction and reality–there’s only a bridge. She thinks she gets to control every narrative and the only thing she lets unfold is her undesirables (ew).

      In Julie’s world, Jelly D would agree to play the part for fun, as a joke, whatever, but would be unable to resist her charms and fall madly in love with Julia Allison Baugher forever and ever. Just like Brad and Angie, Rob and Kristen (so sorry!), or any other celebrity romance that begins on set.

      She’s a fucking lunatic.

  2. juliajane says:

    Ugh, I can’t keep up with her latest batch of lies and ulterior motives, there are just too many.

    I wonder who she has harassed into dating her? $10 says he isn’t aware he’s her boyfriend. Let the games/email hacking begin!

  3. cola champagne says:

    The guy with the shirt open was in her and TJ’s video. Isn’t that her latest bf? Oh, and he’s fugly. I’m starting to get more insight to her, based on her reaction to Andrew saying he couldn’t make the party. She’s definitely whiny, needy, obsessive, and controlling. That’s why she’s always seeking to control the narrative here by lying and making things seem more complicated than they are. Nothing is that complicated, and the fact that she hasn’t had a long-term relationship since she’s been on the Internet is all we need to know. For all we know, her engagement to that guy Alex NEVER HAPPENED. Look how she tried to make it seem like she and Jack were on the verge. She probably watched “Bridezillas” with him once and that’s what she meant by engaged. We haven’t seen with our very Internet eyes she and any man in a serious committed relationship, so I am of the camp to believe it has NEVER HAPPENED.

    • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

      Her engagement was to Jon, Georgetown Law grad. Alex, married Donkey diddler, was the wallet from whom she scammed a year of rent-free accommodation.

      • bitchface says:

        calm down Kevin. You should be ashamed of yourself for knowing that. It was years ago! No one cares! don’t you have some bills to pay?

        • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

          I have a PhDonk from Fuck U.-Money. The student loan debt is modest, but the shame will last forever.

          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            Juliar was most definitely engaged to Jon, who would defend her lame ass and shitty column in the Hoya. And while they were engaged, Juliar was busy cruising the med library loooking for something better, i. e., a bigger wallet.

      • cola champagne says:

        But, do we know for sure she was engaged? Was there a ring and a wedding date? For someone as over-the-top as her, there would have been a lot of pomp and circumstance. Jacy, JP, Prof? Do you guys know this to be a definite?

        • Jack the Bulldog says:

          See above.

          • cola champagne says:

            Grassy ass! I guess there’s one born every minute. I’m sorry you had to go to school with her.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I don’t recall ever seeing a fauxto of her engagement ring. Or hearing any story of how he proposed. Did he get down on one knee? Was it in a romantic location? Was she surprised? Did he ask Dad$ers permission first? Is tawk of an engagement yet one more big fat lie of D0nkey’s?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            (never mind! started typing that & then got distracted w/ a lunch order, & now I see Jack’s confirmation)

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          She was definitely engaged.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I’m not buying the new boyfriend. Donkey cannot go on one date without Twattering and FBing about it endlessly. Prom date with Jelly D, sad deflated mylar balloon with Michael Acton Smith being the most recent, never mind her off the charts aggressive flirting with DeStorm.

      If there was a man, it would be known. She is most definitely doing this to offset the embarrassment when a certain Donut dumps her on TV.

    • afghani says:

      Alex was the married guy that Julia cheated on when she was engaged to Jon. And she was living in CA with Jon at the time, while Alex was in NYC. She went way, way, way out of her way to cheat on her fiance and break up someone’s marriage.

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    IF D0nkey has a boyfriend (doubtful!), NO WAY* it’s DeStorm!
    (*LOL, I like the guy, & people likable to me never the d0nkey!)

    I’d blocked the British vermin varmint guy out of my memory … he’s so nasty!

  5. Lazy and Crazy says:

    Again, the chief rule one must master to get their PhDonk is this:

    1. She is always lying.

    Whenever you hear her make a statement about ANYTHING, who she’s dating, what she ate, where she’s doing, what she’s doing…literally anything…make this assumption. Whenever I heard ANYTHING straight from the hose-beast herself, it’s practically automatic at this point to go, “Okay, she’s lying about part of this.”

    But the claiming to have an OMGboyfriend is so pathetic. She’s like that girl in 8th grade (where she’s frozen anyway) insisting she met a boy over the summer who lives in canada. It is to laugh, or cry if I were related to her.

  6. My Elle Readers (formerly Stripper Shoes) says:

    I’ve been reading but not posting because I actually had some relationship problems as a result of my increasingly hateful rants about A Donkey. My male friend expressed concern about what appeared to be an obsession with someone I had never met. And I realized that I might have been sounding a bit like a loon. And I found that posting less made my canklehausen go into a partial remission.

    I can’t say I blame him for giving me the Toilet-Julia-Side-Eye. But then, he’s never been a frustrated writer who spent hours writing an exposé on A Donkey as well as a Miss Advised (#ad) recap complete with LolCats only to have her publisher decline for reasons that seem connected to A Donkey’s mad intimidation skillz. How FUCK does she do that???

    My canklehausen felt better by not picking at it. But this post. This! The lies! The balls she must have in order to lie about something that if anyone scratched the surface of a good search, well, it would be blatantly obvious.

    I can only guess that she relies upon the existence of people who think her outdated fauxto is what she really looks like and don’t care whether it’s true or not, of men who would fuck her on that basis alone because they really are that desperate, of people who have enough self-serving use for her that they can ignore all the horror.

    I don’t know why I curr.

    I wonder if deep down inside me the Julia in my life is actually some version of myself as a teen and young adult.

    Ugh.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I need more details re: the censoring of your pieces. Email me. Not that I am going to do a post or anything, but I am wondering about a couple of things and trying to put the pieces together.

      • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

        If this is about the HuffPo drama, it is not hard to guess who threw his dainty little weight around. Raul must have taken quite a “beating” that night.

    • cola champagne says:

      Reposting:

      “I can’t say I blame him for giving me the Toilet-Julia-Side-Eye. But then, he’s never been a frustrated writer who spent hours writing an exposé on A Donkey as well as a Miss Advised (#ad) recap complete with LolCats only to have her publisher decline for reasons that seem connected to A Donkey’s mad intimidation skillz. How FUCK does she do that???”

      Wait, are you saying you wrote a piece on her, and it was rejected, and you think it’s because of Julia?

      • My Elle Readers (formerly Stripper Shoes) says:

        They won’t say why. But this publication has NO articles on Miss Advised since their first recap, which A Donkey must have objected to.

        They also publish everything else I write, except this one article I wrote about a man with a micro-penis. I guess that was too edgy.

        • cola champagne says:

          Do they publish articles on Bravo shitshows and the like?

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Well, there’s also the “who cares?” factor.

          Do they publish stuff about Tom Cruise possibly being gay? If so, it’s probably not that they’re afraid of litigation or harassment.

          I think that Julie Albertson is a special taste for connoisseurs who are willing to go out to the edge. Like those extraordinarily smelly cheeses that have been aged in a manure pile, compared to the mild cheddar of a Snooki or a Kristen Stewart.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      p.s. Also? We’ll post them.

      • My Elle Readers (formerly Stripper Shoes) says:

        I’ll send em your way. :)

      • Ignoramus with Pelts says:

        I hear what you’re saying, stripper shoes, about being a sort of Julia when you were younger. As a teen and especially as a young twenty something, I displayed some donk- like behavior that makes me cringe to this day. I finally grew the fuck up and realized I’m not the center of the universe. Meeting my huscat, who didn’t let me get away with NPd shenanigans, helped. Also having three kittens and dealing with them as well as a full time career made me see the light. If u have any self- awareness u are better off than la donquette… And it seems that u do…as well as a job! So u r ok.

        • My Elle Readers says:

          By the time I was A Donkey’s age, I was already a married mother of two and making $200,000 a year. I have since scaled back my career significantly, and I am looking forward to being single again (yay, seriously!!!), but I am still a really fine mom to my two human kittens, who would NEVER the Donkey, I can assure you. They hardly the me, so they would never put up with that shite, trust. And one is nearly 16, so I have to really make sure that A Donkey is nowhere near him because he would A Kitten, for sure. Pedophile that she is.

          • My Elle Readers says:

            Ugh. That sounded so braggy. I’m not like that at all. I just can’t with A Donkey who somehow gets in the middle of my relationship somehow. It makes me feel crazed.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            I have a 16 year old too and I wouldn’t let her come within 2 states of him. Easy enough since I live in Kentucky and she would never come here.

          • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

            Don’t be so sure! These types (a little notoriety left in the tank, but they’ve burned every bridge on both coasts) ALWAYS end up attempting to “go country” at some point, and Nashville’s not so far away.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            [img]http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l1p9h3VICS1qzc4eao1_500.gif[/img]

          • Bulimia bloat with a side of bray says:

            NO NO NO NO we have ENOUGH idiots in Nashville. Donkeys aren’t allowed in the city limits, anyway.

          • The LA Chick (Downward Spiral Donk aka Cocoloco) says:

            No need to apologize for being braggy-successful women tend to be hypervigilent in the face of a farce like J-Ass. I can relate is all I’m saying, and it is disgusting to watch this “thing” lie, cheat, steal, and pander to the cameras as a job.

    • sympathizer says:

      long-time lurker, but i feel compelled to break my silence b/c I think that this is exactly why I keep watching Julia and reading here — she’s a sort of cautionary tale that keeps whatever julia-ness I have at bay. While I consider myself a pretty good person — happy marriage, hardworking reporter — i definitely have some eerie similarities with Julia. We’re the same age (and have a birthday off by one day), I have jealousy rages and stuff (i’ve learned to control them) and perhaps most similarly, i wasn’t too pretty until i got a nose job at age 18, and the subsequent attention made me kind of nuts, ego-wise, for a few years. It’s really strange to get attention all of a sudden as a result of a decision you made, and I can see how it can make a person crazy/obsessed with their looks/think they can control everything about people’s reactions towards them. Anyways, I think it’s what keeps bringing me back here – I feel like Julia is what could have happened to me if all of my worst qualities were taken to their conclusion. i wonder if a lot of readers are like me — not basement dwellers, but people with a little bit of Julia-ness in them.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        I think the fact that you have so much self-awareness makes you very different from Julie.

        Well, that.

        Plus a husband. And a real job.

  7. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    But who was the dude on the hobby-horse in the (appalling) music video?

    He looked actually cute which is more than I can say for pretty much anyone she has dated.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Someone said that was her cousin and I don’t know if they were serious or not.

      • cola champagne says:

        I think they meant cousin as in donkey is a horse’s cousin.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Oh dear. I took that seriously. SS, SF.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Is if the furry times were familial?

          • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

            I read that as you didn’t know if Donkey and her cousin were “serious”. Lawls.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            Me, too. Hey, they WERE serious for 3 minutes, trying to make that horsey-stick go forward.

          • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

            I did to. (and loved it). which reminds me – how did she manage to get through high school without taking a cousin as a date to something?

  8. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    To backtrack to her “exclusive” interview with some blog, I’m convinced her statement about “bringing in 500,000″ is referring to total page views for the past four years, not dollars. If it were dollars, she would have said so.

    Lying Donkey lies.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      sometimes known as Donkey Legalese, its own separate sub-language group, soon to be recognized by the US Census.

    • KashMoney says:

      good catch.

      although this is the one case where it’s “misleading donkey misleads”. HILARIOUS!!!

  9. Lazy and Crazy says:

    OT, but how long until we see some backlash against Sklar for some shamelessly latching on to this issue so she can have SOME relevance in the “tech scene” besides Twitter stalking people and attending “networking conference” after networking conference.

    http://mashable.com/2012/07/25/rachel-sklar-change-the-ratio/

    I’ve said this before, but she really is like a slightly (slightly) more advanced model of Juliar. This campaign for tech jobs for ALL THE GIRLS is such self serving crap.

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      She’s a joke. Mashable? Okay…

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Agree. She’s just Julia Allison version 1.9. Hitting the media circuit with your “campaign” is so dishonest. It screams “I’m not really in the trenches fighting for this cause, I just want to be known as the poster boy/girl for it without doing any real work.”

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      If Sklar wasn’t a disingenuous poser, she’d be teaching a class for http://www.girlswhocode.com/ or something rather than starting her own vanity org to get her name out there.

      Oh, right. She herself doesn’t code. She’s just like Julia, idly wishing that she had learned this accessible skill sometime when it would be only to easy to learn it right now.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Yeah, I don’t get the women in tech schtick from these ladies. If you are not a programmer or on the Sheryl Sandberg track, how are you relevant in tech? Oh, you go to lots of parties and take pictures…I see.

      • trashbox says:

        she’s been doing this shit for years. Change the ratio? I’m a woman who works in a startup and I know many other women who work in startups and in other tech companies doing a variety of jobs (product management, marketing, and even being OMGDEVELOPERS) and none of us pay attention to all this garbage bc we are too busy WORKING. I don’t need Rachel Sklar to represent me. My work and the work of my peers speaks for itself.

        • Littlemsintheknown says:

          OMG, so is Aubrey Sabala. She has taken pics with donkey too and is friends with rachel the poser sklar. Writing articles for techcrunch on Kevin Rose(JA past obession) thanks to her bests Alexis T. Marketing, who really never works constantly taking pic of herself drinking or on vacation with rachel. Kissing A** to randi zuckerberg and donkey” To randi and Julia, thanking god they were made on this day 2010″. Wow, it seems these woman hang out with one another, pat themselves on the back and drinking themselves into slobs. Whatever.

        • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

          THANK YOU. Exactly — the *real* women in tech are too busy to go drink at parties every night, play around at conferences every week, and tweet and promote themselves 24/7.

          And – @Littlemsintheknown – Aubrey’s an odd one. On the one hand, she’s very intelligent and successful (in an earned it kind of way). On the other, she enjoy the bullshit spotlight with these people a little too much. And she’s close friends with JA.

  10. Grammarian says:

    You didn’t capitalize Grandmother

    Also brillz

  11. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    OMGreg! LOL’g so hard, & I haven’t even watched it all …
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0cspNC_Q2c&feature=player_embedded
    The appearance of a d0nkey in Jelly Donut’s video is ….
    WHAT? does it mean??!?

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      Watch it. Watch it all.

    • cola champagne says:

      Doesn’t he remind you of Tosh.o? Something about him…

    • CDB says:

      And Kittahs!… screen grab please. This is not subliminal. And may I add… First!

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I do believe that “Break my stride” segment (which was curiously charming, greg help me) may have been aimed at a certain loudly braying Donkey. Run, Jelly D, run!!!1

        • Dyspeptic says:

          I must add in self-defense that I only found the SONG segment curiously charming; the comedy routine gave me cankleshausen, or it it donutshausen?

      • Fameless Shamewhore says:

        It has a donkey – and cats – and not just any cats, but the first one that shows up on the right hand side looks very like the “averts eyes” kitty to me.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      I need Afghani in here to comment on his fireplace.

      • stalker is the new fat says:

        also to hipsters wearing t-shirts with pictures of guns on them SIT THE FUCK DOWN ASSHOLES.

        • Stinky Velour Couture says:

          ridiculous—how old is this guy? seems like a real jerk, the kind of loud brayer guy that you meet at crappy random bars.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            yeah, I pretty much hate everything about this kind of guy. With his ~guitars~ carefully arranged around him.

          • MY Beach Home says:

            Exactly!

            My huscat is having a ton of fun doing stand up these days and I went to see him for the first time last month – the lineup was full of JellyDs – so enamored of themselves and so wrong about how funny and brilliant and heterosexual they are.

          • Breakfast Burro-ito says:

            He is unfunny. Yet the trying is very much. It takes a very horrible Donkey to overshadow a Jelly-D’s bray factor.

        • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

          I guess I’m in the minority bcuz I find him entertaining and clever in a harmless lighthearted way. My gaydar short-circuited 15 years ago with the arrival of metrosexuals and hipsters but I dont get that vibe from him at all. And I have a soft spot for all the survivors of PTDD (post traumatic donk disorder), their lack of good judgement aside. He seems to be aware that signing on with this fiasco for the exposure backfired and is wisely moving on and concentrating on his own professional development on his own terms. I wish him well and am a bit of a fan now.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      To reiterate: I find him completely unattractive/repulsive with his lashless, pink-lidded, buggy eyes. And I detest his shtick.

    • bitchface says:

      NSFW!!!!!!

  12. JuliaViewerEmails says:

    I say we play along and start posting Male Blowup dolls for her to choose from..

  13. My Elle Readers says:

    Email is hard. How do I email Jacy? #CrowdSourcing #FullRetard

  14. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    OT: I am just finishing reading Jane Eyre and I got to this passage:

    “The housekeeper and her husband were both of that decent, phlegmatic order of people, to whom one may at any time safely communicate a remarkable piece of news without incurring the danger of having one’s ears pierced by some shrill ejaculation, and subsequently stunned by a torrent of wordy wonderment.”

    By which I take it that a) Charlotte Bronte had a JAML and b) the Brontes would never the donkey.

  15. A Bray in a Manger says:

    I’m home with a bad tummy and am using that as an excuse to justify the fact that I Googled to figure out when she bought that Shabby Chic table so I could place the date of the dinner party. It’s funny that the purchase of the table has stuck in my mind/craw in the way it has, but there was just something about her braying advice to young furniture shoppers that mad me MAD with rage.

    Anyway, I recalled the post (and subsequent tweets (?) about throwing her first dinner party in MDR) and made note on the last episode that she’d just had the table delivered while they were getting ready to host their guests. According to her lifecast, the table was purchased, and therefore the dinner was held, sometime around the first week of December 2011.

    • A Bray in a Manger says:

      *made* me MAD with rage. SS, SF.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      You forgot to put quotes around “bought”—the Shabby Chic stuff was c/o per the credits.

      Which makes JABberballz even more of a twatwaffle.

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      I hate that table. Julia didn’t purchase it (or the couches). Shabby Chic responded to a craigslist posting/call for product placement. Shabby Chic gets a mention in the final credits. It could’ve been Bobby Trendy…

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      D0nkey’s liecast mentions the chic / sheik / shite table having a crack in it … & at some point, it gets replaced but she never mentions that … (I really thought that the glass & chrome table was in there to begin with).

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      You’d be co-rrect A Bray… she brayed about it:

      The nesting continues! Prepping for my very first dinner party with @JuliaPriceMusic at our home tomorrow, I find myself once more @ Target.
      9:21 PM – 10 Dec 11

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        So she had not met him as of Nov. 29…. they probably do the Prom date on Dec 3 ( a Saturday) though in the bar they had Christmas decorations… which seems early – could they have shot the Prom date and dinner party all the weekend of December 9-10?

        LOL.

        But she was on her fourth date with someone else 10 weeks later on Valentine’s day???? So curious this definition of VERY VERY SERIOUS.

  16. sausage curls/fingers says:

    It’s so funny how I’m sure the thinks 3 months comes across as EXTRA serious to anyone who reads it. After all, she spent double that time with Jack McCain and they were days away from a proposal before they remembered Guam existed.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Lefooliah (sp?) had an interesting theory that dovetails with yours. One, yes, for some bizzarro reason she thinks “three months” is VERY VERY SERIOUS. I think when you can’t even get 3 dates in a row, 3 months starts to feel like a lifetime.

      Donkey claims the 3 month marker and throws around VERY VERY SERIOUS as a way to excuse her psychotic behavior. If they were serious, aka boyfriend/girlfriend, then it is okay to harass him, stalk him and physically assault him… in Donkey’s brain anyway.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        True. For most people, a 3 month relationship is something that happened between the end of 7th grade and the middle of college and isn’t even something you count. It’s all she has left. I wonder if she celebrates monthly anniversaries because she knows she can’t reach the real thing.

        • New Year New You says:

          A three month relationship is a one night stand that lasted 2 months and 29 days too long.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hysterical!

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      The thing about FlapJack & Guam is that if they (MotherBoy) were serious about marriage (ha!) the time he spent there still wouldn’t be enough time for D0nkey to locate all the unicorns & fairy sparkle farts for her dream wedding, so her “explanation” of why the break-up happened falls short of even sounding remotely plausible …

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      So true. It just goes to show you how long it’s been since she’s been in a long-term relationship. Her Timeline of Seriousness is so condensed. I’m sure three months = two years to someone who can’t get a second date.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Three months is summer lovin’
      and if it worked for Danny and Sandy why not the Donkey?
      Oh that’s right because there’s no way she’d fit in to those tight black pants.

    • Psychotic Today says:

      I won’t introduce a guy to my large group of friends until he has lasted at least 3 months. She really is insane. You are still just getting to know someone at 3 months.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Also it scares the shit out of guys. “Meet my friends” two dates in is fucking psychotic.

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        Keep in mind that while she’s trying to defend herself (protip: THERE IS NONE) with the 3 months, her oversharing has given us dates and she’ll have to spin a little harder as a result.
        First date Dec. 3rd, dinner party December 11. Just ONE WEEK between taking him on a nutso date and being needy and desperate on the phone. Then how long after that (as I doubt there was all that much time between filming the next episode) doe she start claiming love, crying, and slapping? Wow.

        • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

          Maybe, and this is a big maybe, they went on hiatus for Christmas after shooting the dinner party episode. Which would have allowed JellyD to spend New Years Eve with a Donkey before the slap episode. If he got slapped and then spent NYE with her, he doesn’t deserve much sympathy.

        • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

          Goes to show ya, it’s not madame’s behavior that has sent men screaming into the night (likely with bruises to show for it).
          It’s the internet! The internet is ruining her relationships! She’s been trying get you people to understand this for the past 4 years!!

          [Internet: Lol wut?]

      • Can-Swiss says:

        Most single people I know wouldn’t even mention someone they dated for 3 months. As someone said, it’s around the “introduce to my circle of friends” point. But for Julia they were CLOSE TO OMG MARRIED.

  17. ShesJustStupid says:

    So she’s acting all wistful for her fake boyfriend on facebook

    Julia Allison
    22 hours ago
    Home, let me come home … home is whenever I’m with you. ;-)

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Pics or his public acknowledgement or it didn’t happen!

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Also, she got the lyrics wrong – it’s “where ever” I’m with you, no “whenever.” dumb Donkey. Also, if I left that as my status update, my man would like it. Or one of my friends would say, “Awwww, you miss ___________ (insert name).”

      Methinks Donkey is in relationship of her own mind once again.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Legalese! Lilly is her boyfriend!

      From her blergh:
      Nov 24, 11 5:19am
      “Home is wherever I’m with you.”
      Lilly curled up on my bed tonight.

      http://web.stagram.com/location/6396397

  18. Albie Quirky says:

    And Twitter and Facebook are where she and George Glass never connect at all.

  19. Nicole says:

    Long time listener, rare commenter, yadda yadda.

    Wassup wif JellyD? What is wrong with his face? It’s his eye’s…as Loretta Castorini says, “he’s got those bad eyes, like a gypsy”. What is it? No eyelashes? Too-pink water lines? I don’t trust him. And those videos? Who watches those, who is his audience? I have kittens who are 12, 13 and 15…and they wouldn’t find that funny.

    She fell on the floor for that?

    • Nicole says:

      And whoever made the image used with this post, donk peering over the rocks. You win. I still can’t stop laughing. This forum has the funniest, smartest, most intelligent people I have ever read on the internet. I only hope the owners can somehow find a way to cash in, especially with Daddy being unemployed.

      • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

        It is a platinum classic, I died when the original was posted and then when that popped up, seizures.

  20. Meow Mix says:

    I love how you catladies share my brain wavelengths.
    Number one, I was thinking, “Why, why, WHY is three months such a big goddamn deal to this woman? They dated for three months, so fucking what? Why is that something to brag about?” Does she think that people will see her whackjob behavior on last week’s Miss Advised, see that they allegedly dated for three months, and be like, “Well then, she acted TOTALLY normally!” And of course you catladies were discussing the same thing.

    Also, if anyone has dirt on her engagement to the Georgetown Law guy, PLEASE PLEAAASSSEE spill. Remember when Michael/Alex (I forget which one) bought her five dresses and told her to pick one and she never shuts the fuck up about what a romantic gesture it was six years later? (We all know he probably told his secretary, “I don’t know her size, just go to Bloomingdales and pick out a bunch of dresses and have them sent to my apartment.”) If her engagement ring/proposal to Georgetown Law guy were anything to write home about, she would never shut the fuck up about them, either.

    Also, she lies so much because she’s a narcissist. The JAML lies through his teeth and anytime you confront him about it, the response is, “That was SO long ago, why do you care?”

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      Jack McCain dated her MONTHS ago! I find it worrisome that she’s still hung up on it! NOBODY remembers it!

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I think we should leave the Georgetown ex out of it. He was a kid back then, D0nkey wasn’t out-&-out balls-to-wall barking mad back then, & he’s long gone. If he was the marrying type then, hell, he probably has a wife & kids by now (suck it, D0nkey!) & we don’t really need or want to open that can of worms, do we?

      • Queen Neferteeri says:

        You think she was the picture of sanity and decent behavior back then? Just ask Jack the bulldog what she was like at G’town!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I doubt that I’ve missed much of what Jack has shared here, which, btw, has nothing to do w/ what I said.

          Sure, her batshit insane juvenile behavior is glaringly obvious to her peers now that she’s 31, but to some other young kid, ten years ago? Probably not so much.

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