Oh. Dear.
Jelly, I don’t know if you read RBD. I know a whole shit-load of your friends do. I know you are a good guy who was not AT ALL into a Donkey, and you made a very terrible mistake in getting fleetingly involved with her, even though it was mostly on the down-low because you had the good sense to be really embarrassed to be seen in public with her.
But if you’re reading this, heed our advice: DEFRIEND HER NOW. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. Don’t respond to texts, Tweets, Facebook messages, voicemails, emails, bat signals, middle-of-the-night door poundings, NOTHING. DISENGAGE. Many before you have been where you’ve been. The only way to hose down a donkey is to completely ignore, block, delete, pretend she never existed.
You’re welcome.
Jelly has a name!
If you can believe it!
And? You should block her & encourage all of your friends to block her.
They were so serious that none of these people in his life have any clue who she is.
Donkey you are a vile lying sociopath. Shut up and get help.
Exactly! Or to use Donkey’s favorite word: HYSTERICAL!!!!!!
That had discussed marriage!
She changed her magazine subscriptions to the home they will maybe share soon!
She’ll steal his belt!
Someone at Bravo is probably consulting Legal right now …
I honestly feel bad for any guy who dates her. They have no clue what a psycho she is. The only thing they can hope for is that she latches onto a new guy, as they slowly back out of the room.
I’m on the fence about how bad I feel. I feel like you have to be an idiot to not at least catch on fast about what a Stage 5 clinger she is.
The thing is, like with Jelly, she leads with sex: “I’m so turned on by your pictures.” A guy think he’s going to pound town pretty easily and he just stops thinking. (I guess?)
I’d love to know the full story.
I wonder if off camera she is more subdued in the beginning? She must be able to hide the crazy long enough to go on more than one date.
I think he had an agenda, too. Allegedly he was only doing it to feature his music… and the obviously were looking for an arc, so I suppose he signed on for 3-4 episodes? All a ploy to get the audience involved.
But the look on his face during the dinner party scene is one of utter regret and mortification. PLUS, he has not tweeted or Facebooked about it – he obviously decided IT’S JUST NOT WORTH IT.
i think thats interesting — he was mostly motivated by exposure and now decided he didn’t want any whatsoever? i wish there was more intel because id very curious how he parted ways with her. it must have been severe enough that he won’t even promote the show.
I wanna see the next episode, but I’m thinking he got slapped in the face and said “Fuck this shit o’ clock.”
Agreed w. Alexandra. Really, if ever there were a way for JellyD to get rid of stage 1 billion clinger donkey without having to try (repeatedly, and probably with little result) to let her down easily (one, because he felt bad, and two, because he’d probably be afraid of how she’d retaliate), being assaulted on national television was it. It could’ve felt like a feather had touched his cheek and it sill would’ve made for a very easy “No, sorry, that kind of physical violence is just unacceptable, I can’t do this anymore.” out.
He should have done it when she dropped to the floor. I’m sure her guests were very confused by that. They probably thought her adopted son from her secret pregnancy had finally found her.
All very well to hypothesize, and give Jelly D credit for having a brain cell, but one must remember that he spent New Year’s Eve with A Donkey and there are photos to prove it. So The Slap (if any) was not the end.
How come I don’t even remember her New Year’s Eve this year? I am completely drawing a blank. Where were the photos?
Didn’t someone mention how she changed her technique with Greasy to “@” him instead of tagging him so he couldn’t remove it. Same thing here.
Wow, I never saw this picture. It’s on Facebook? The poor dude.
ss, sf
The note on the side says “Illegal photography at Soho House with [link].
She dated a smoker? I mean, she is stalking a smoker?
With all of D0nkey’s lies, I can’t get a grip on the timeline … was this the Diggnation Finale? Did she just insinuate herself into that pose w/ him? Or are they really somewhere on NYE as a date?
I don’t buy it …
The body language is totally off. His legs are crossed and away from her. He’s not looking towards her. His arms are not touching her body. The whole look, like much of his other physical interactions with her, is totally disengaged and disassociated, just humoring her, while she pours her whole body onto him.
Here is someone who’s clearly on a mission to garner as much publicity for his ridiculous “career” as he possibly can, and he’s ACTIVELY passing up attention/acknowledgement/recognition.
How embarrassed must he be?
Dear Greg, (did I do that right?) how embarrassed must SHE be right now…
She is not embarrassed. That is one of her biggest problems, the inability to feel shame.
Let’s not forget that this dude DRESSES UP LIKE A DONUT AND RAPS. I love that he does that and I know he’s a hipster and that it’s at least somewhat sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek and he’s got real skillz. But still, for JA to become obsessed with a rapping donut? After the Republican wife thing? How the mighty have fallen. It’s almost tragicomical.
I don’t think Julia actually “dates” anyone. She just throws around the three months shit like a monkey in a cage and expects it to stick. She managed to smear the pancakes way past expiration on her glass wall. Lewis How? And Jelly D were just screaming for the ape house club, no pity here.
How can they not know, at least after spending even a little bit of time with her? Do you think she can hide the cray-cray for very long at all?
No, she latches onto these loserish guys and starts with the full-on worship, so that they think they’re about to get the lay of their life. So they hang on for a little while, then give up when they don’t get it or she turns out to be lousy in bed.
why is the concept of self respect so allusive for her? just let it go already. he doesn’t want you. think enough of yourself to move on. her behavior just gets more sad and more pathetic as the years go on.
eek i mean elusive.
I guess the narcissism trumps all other things. Jacy and others have made some very insightful comments about how NPD types can’t process rejection. It’s fascinating but it also reinforces for me that I will never let another narcissist into my life.
Wait… I don’t get it. I thought she had a life changing experience and was never going to act the way she did on the show????????
Apparently, her big breakthrough is that she’ll tone down the cuntitude unless people fail to recognize that she is NOT!!! RANDOM!!
Simple rules everyone should follow in order for Julia Allison to treat you civilly:
-If you’re waiting for a parking space and you see her, give her your parking space. She’s famous and she deserves it because she’s busier than you are.
-Speak of her in a reverential and specific manner. Example of what not to say: “the LA chick”. Corrected example: “Miss Julia Allison, that ineffably tiny & cute celebrity”.
-If she condescends to go on a date with you, you’re not allowed to break up with her. Ever.
-Do not criticize Julia Allison’s behavior. Ever heard of papal infallibility? Consider that a lower bound for how polite you should be to Miss Julia. Yes, you should also kiss her ring (after you put one on her finger, of course).
All so very true.
-And for Greg’s sake, hold the Greg-damn dog if she tells you to!
lol
Oh, zing, TL;DR. Zingalicious.
“Three Simple Rules for Dating Our Middle-Aged Donkey,” a new sad-com not coming to a Bravo station near you.
Like button!
This is actually among the funniest Donkey behavior in some time. Feeling random, Julia?
SHE IS NOT RANDOM!
It’s like an Advent calendar that we get to open each day until Craymas finally arrives.
That is exactly what the Miss Advised Season is here in the cat lady basement: a never-ending and ever-delightful advent calendar.
That’s so “this!” I was just thinking how this is all playing out in unexpectedly delicious small yet NOT RANDOM ways.
How dare they not know who she is…she is continuing to spiral (fun!)
This was an A and B conversation. How did she see her way into it. Cray. Totally Cray!!!
Because she is a C.
Word.
So good. A total C indeed.
Someday, if she’s really lucky, Julia will graduate to C-list.
Damn, MMBH!
“Now this is “tutu” ensemble I can handle. Bravo.”
http://maryrambin.tumblr.com/post/28020555079/now-this-is-tutu-ensemble-i-can-handle-bravo#notes
just seen on: http://megwhat.tumblr.com/post/28022815216/emilyposts-maryrambin-now-this-is-tutu
That’s funny. I like the “Bravo” at the end. But Olivia Palermo… ugh.
A long time ago, I heard her referred to as “Guido Tinsley.”
That’s really funny. I only know who she is from watching The City, another show chronicling the underachievements of slack-jawed socialites.
I think that she’s a dead wringer / ringer / reigner for Julia Roberts.
DAMN! I am quite proud of our little MMBH throwin’ down!
Well … her sucking-up to D0nkey when Miss Advised began airing amounted to nothing, & THE HOUSTON CHICK HAS A NAME, doncha know?!?
(Pssstt! MareMare … get off the stationary bike & pick a lane!)
“That LA chick has a name “Transbraytion: “Don’t you know who I am????”
gawdamighty, the scheme juices and Donkey bile are steaming.
Commenting on a status update that is two days old? Just to inform the people in the conversation that you’re eavesdropping on that you’re eavesdropping on them? That’s not a completely insecure thing to do.
HAHA I didn’t notice the dates…
Actually, it’s four days old. Which makes it even more psychotic.
JellyD is gonna have to answer to this bs eventually.
Meanwhile, he better not open any pkgs he didn’t order, & he better not let his cat roam outside …
If you’ve diagnosed her as psycho because of a 4 days later response, what would be the diagnosis re responding to a gawker article over ONE YEAR later? Seriously. Juliar (I refuse to call her anything else from now on) responded to a gawker piece on her lame ass with a an “update” ONE YEAR LATER in the comments section.
I knew she always has to get in the last word, but that’s some straight up “Butterfly” by Crazytown.
And I just remembered that Juliar’s comment was something about how much she’d changed! She may have acted like a hosebeast but that was a year ago and things were now very, very different.
Look at her Wikipedia page Hx … she was blasting those folks a load of shit on Christmas Bray.
Come my donkey / come come my donkey / you’re my butterface / sugar-crazy.
the classic jam by Donkeytown!
Which shows it didn’t pop up on her newsfeed or anything, she went to personally scope out his facebook instead and found it.
She might have read it here too, I posted about him calling being on the show “a long strange story.”
I bet anything she read it here. She reads here constantly. HI DONK! THERAPY! T-H-E-R-A-P-Y! Preferably in-patient!
Never gonna happen. People like that have to hit a rock bottom and she never will, not as long as she has nobody around her who is willing (or brave enough) to be honest with her. While her parents won’t (or maybe can’t) pay for a trust fund style of living, she’ll never have to worry about being homeless or hungry.
her comment is straight up bunny boiler. like i got chills down my spine when i read it. pictured her in my closet. with her eye slits peering out. “she has a name you know…”
shivers i tell you!
ooof. oof! ahhhhh!!!!
Reposting from last post because it made me LOL:
so great.
This pic needs the text “The LA chick has a name if you can believe that.”
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=bunny+in+a+pot&um=1&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&biw=1020&bih=597&tbm=isch&tbnid=sv7KgJRSVlO7fM:&imgrefurl=http://bainosbanter.blogspot.com/2009/04/jealousy.html&docid=gUTPO3VIHn8kSM&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7n3V7bnR9eI/SeWTwSPARQI/AAAAAAAAEYs/gBvOx4qR6DU/s400/bunnyboiler-thumb-420×315.jpg&w=400&h=300&ei=ZrIQUM64FePliALo1YHIBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=635&vpy=140&dur=189&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=115&ty=90&sig=109886165740899259294&page=1&tbnh=116&tbnw=168&start=0&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0,i:81
I always mess up uploading it!
ss, sf
I LOVE YOU DR. GARY!!!!!!
why are you so far away SC??
bitchface, do you and solidarity cat know one another IRL? You two always make me smile when you hop through a thread together, so simpatico.
HI BITCHFACE! I had a kitten! 6 weeks ago so I’ve been a little bogged down. I’ve been following all this with glee, just been too tired to comment intelligently or google pictures of funny cats. But I’m here! I’ll get my groove back. Love, solidarity cat
Just in case anyone wanted to see a picture of me and the baby, herE we are!
Warm hugs and congrats! I see kitteh has daddy’s eyes. ; )
Thanks Blinking! Here we are taking a bath. We aren’t wearing our color contacts here.
Dead now.
This is beautiful. Between this and the sleeping through a TV appearance, it is getting all Valley of the Dolls up in hurr, and I am digging it.
Ha, so true – also brings new meaning to the song by Bright Eyes
In the morning
When you throw up water
And your skin turns a pale, pale yellow
Well, every day you lose more color
Do you think that someone paints your mirror?
So you think that things sound different
At the time when you speak
Well, there are visions much clearer than these blurs that you see
And like Neely O’Hara you swallow your sleep
And wake up in the morning
To find you are not who you used to be
You don’t recognize the behavior
Or the spelling of your name and the shape that is in the mirror
Well, you’d swear it is not the same
And like Neely O’Hara
You swallow your sleep and you really can’t remember
But you know you are not
Think you are not
No, you are not who you used to be
You failed to mention that you and Conor, like, totally discussed rings. You fail at being Donkeytown.
Love the Valley of the Dolls reference!
Guys. I need help. My mom thinks Donkey and Amy are the most real characters on the show. She doesn’t think they’re mentally ill. She thinks Donkey has a ‘very childlike look’ and looks younger than 31.
She’s yelling at me for criticizing her. Oy vey. Someone help me.
My mother would like her too. Because my mother likes that kind of ’50s style and would like her loud bray-y-ness because she is that way herself, and also a completely insane narcissist. Is your mother like that? If so, remain calm, do not engage.
My mom liked watching The Hills for some reason, but I think if I ever made her watch this show she would want me to turn it off as soon as JA starts screaming. My mother, not a fan of unnecessarily noisy people.
Is your Mom crazy? Not that that’s a bad thing. But if she is, there’s your answer!
Nah, she’s not crazy. She’s just one of those “try to see the best in everyone” people.
And she says that she thinks she’s still dating Jelly (is she?) and that I shouldn’t judge people until I’ve walked in their shoes.
She also doesn’t think Amy has an eating disorder.
No, your mum is miles off base. People who don’t have eating disorders don’t carry on about calories on dates with guys they hardly know.
Also, we know that Julie isn’t still dating Jelly Donut because she came here and said that they weren’t dating any more, that he was a good kid, and now she was dating DeStorm.
As someone who’s been through it, Amy definitely has disordered thinking when it comes to food and exercise. Seems like she made headway on her date with Highlights, but I hope she gets over it for good.
DeStorm!
#NevahForget
LOL, he’s gone too! He grabbed his Diet Coke and bailed!
My friend was all: “Brayella! That’s someone’s daughter!” (when I showed her the Easter Kinder Whore dragstume) but when I showed her the clip-in sausage curls, she could barely contain her snickers …
So that’s my recommendation:
SHOW MOM THE PELTS!
I’m sorry to ask this: but. the. curls. are… CLIP INS?
Not anymore but for about two years she had clip-in pelts and they were the most awful, plastic, fake-looking dead animal/Barbie hair monstrosities you could imagine. I am in a Benadryl coma but just search on “clip-in pelts” in the RBD search engine and I’m sure you’ll find past posts about it. Or even Google “julia allison” + clip-in pelts. She’s also wearing a ton of them in the Sony Viao ads, and said later that she really believed they looked good. Oh honey.
You see, for the current pelts, they’re just spritzed with a grifted dry shampoo spray and created with a curling iron set to “burn”.
She also had wangs!
(wig=/=bangs)
There’s this quick & dirty Google search …
Oh dear, I googled it, I couldn’t help myself, and you’re right. They. are. INSANITY
ps. one entry I found features her hair cut right after Tova Borgnine’s, which for some reason continues to crack me up
pps. yes, the bangs are ridiculous, but also: what the hell is she wearing? the pants?!? the shoes?!? my eyes!!!
My gawd, the wants outfit!!!! The giant white pants!!!!! So very, very wrong. Why, lord, why?
er, the wangs outfit. curse you, autocorrect.
See also: Handbag Stuffed with Hair & the relevant backstory.
My gawd, the wants outfit!!!! The giant white pants!!!!! So very, very wrong. Why, lord, why?
Cognitive dissonance.
Oh, that’s sweet. Just let her know, however, that Donkey would steal her husband in a heartbeat in the right circumstances.
and her tiara!
I watched with my mother last night. I told her I wanted an outsider’s view of JA. After about 10 minutes she said, “This is boring,” and fell asleep.
Now your mum is a brilliant genius. Perfect diagnosis right out of the box.
All of Jelly D’s Facebook friends are going to get invitations to go out for coffee with a Donkey.
She will be liked damn it!
**ahem**
“I’ve got my (wonk)eye on you, Mr. Sonbgbird …”
Oh lawdy, this is ripe for a photoshoppe – I’m picturing one of those SOON memes with a frightened JellyD in the foreground.
This has just destroyed my faith in Love Coaching. If Annie Lalala can’t cure Donkey of her stalking ways, WHO CAN!?!?!
I feel the same way about the witches and the mind architect!!!
Hopefully fortune cookies will save her!
OMG I just went looking for pelt pix and I found this, and I have not stopped laughing for five minutes.
http://i48.tinypic.com/vsme0n.jpg
Who fucking did this? That is a masterpiece. I am weeping with laughter.
I feel like I’m high, I’m laughing so hard.
Thank you, whoever you are. I have not laughed so hard in weeks.
BRAYELLA!!!! SO BLESSED!!!!
I can only take credit for posting the unedited version — I think it was Worrisome Pelts (where is that skank, anyway???) who donked it up.
Jacy, the original:
Brayella, this stalking donkey is seriously one of my favorite things that has ever been on rbd. It’s just so perfect.
<3
Am I imagining things, or wasn’t there also a gif version of this where the Donkey slowly moved her head up and down behind the rock? If this does not exist, I would SO love for someone to make it happen.
beautiful.
lulz
That was me. I’m lurking every few days and occasionally posting under random names. You guys are great, but my Donk Tolerance is nil.
Well dang it, get your fanny back on in here. Those pix aren’t going to ‘shop themselves.
Oh noes. SS SF image fail.
That cat’s expression is hilarious.
♥♥♥♥♥♥
Julia should get the tattoo mentioned in a Harry Crews novel as fair warning to all happy-go-lucky pastries:
IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING / SET IT FREE / IF IT LOVES YOU / IT WILL COME BACK / IF IT DOESN’T / HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT
Can’t you just see the 20/20 episode years down the road. One of those where you can’t tell if the subject is in jail or not until the end of the hour? And it starts with a close up montage of her saying “I never thought this would happen” “I couldn’t believe what I was hearing” “I was inside…”
“I was inside … her apartment … getting the tiara …”
yes! that’s what I was saying. I’m obsessed with those shows like dateline on Friday nights. like the guy who killed his wife on the scuba diving trip and got away with it. I could totally see Julie on one of these shows. and I bet she’d get away with it.
She’s not smart enough to get out of her own way –if she got away w/ anything, it’d be on an insanity plea w/ thanks to us for donkumenting the cray-cray.
i LOLed hard
oooh and the girl that posted this exchange is “VH1 Director, On Air Promos”
poor jelly D. i saw on facebook that we have a few friends in common and now i feel even more pity for him
LEFOOLIEH says:
July 25, 2012 at 11:11 pm
You see, for the current pelts, they’re just spritzed with a grifted dry shampoo spray and created with a curling iron set to “burn”.
That, my friend, was a ki-ki-ki-killer!! LMAO!
Thank you dahling!
Julia Allison I designed my own @BeachBikes limited edition cruiser: The Watermelon! I’m ridiculously proud of this
In honor of Mulia Mallison: “THE MELON HEAD”
(for children 11 & under)
Does Bravo know about this side deal? Doubt it.
Also… sad.
I think they get a cut of anything she brays-for-pay about for awhile — seems like I heard Bethenny explain this.
I would guarantee she is on her own in this grift. This isn’t like a huge company like Amazon.com that has huge amounts of money to pay a company like Bravo. Bravo doesn’t deal with $50 shills.
She’s tasteless or colorblind.
proud of “put pink and green on it and make it look like a watermelon bike”? So proud!
My youngest sister had a bike just like this. When she was 11 years old.
Yes. Yes, it is ridiculous of you to be “proud” of such an ugly thing, Julia.
You “designed” it? Julia, please tell me how the gears and braking work, exactly. It must have taken a long time to design, to make sure they work properly. I’ll bet all the R&D and testing were quite a challenge.
Wait, you meant you merely chose the colors, ripping off Lily Pulitzer and watermelons , for this overpriced piece-of-shit bike, and you’re “proud” of it?
You should be ashamed. But, did you know trying to ride a bicycle on wet beach sand is something you should really try? It’s awesome and exhilarating and really, really fun. Try to get as close to the water as you can, and it’s just bike-riding bliss. Try it!
For anyone who cares (and no one curr), that is actually a very specific design of an Electra Cruiser from about five years ago. Electra is the expensive brand from which her beloved Beach Bikes create knock offs.
Not unlike her facial surgery, her bikes are the discount brand of something the rich and incompetent love.
Also:
ABP = Always Be Plagiarizing
CAPTCHA said egg on …
As in: Egg On Yo Face, Lying Liar
But you sure ride like a pro, D0nkey!
You can’t fool me, this is a still from “Little People, Big World” She’s a wonderful mother.
I’ve been cracking my huscat up by talking all evening in Amy-speak.
oh my guwddddd you guyssssss. I’m like so sureeeeeee that – wait, is apple pick-uh-in, like dangeroussssss? You’re an idiot. Leave me ah-lone. Oh my gregggggg…..
ok ok I’ve been cracking myself up and annoying him…. sigh
It could be one of those “You are now reading this in so and so’s voice” memes
I do the Kelly Killoren-Bensimon Stahhhhhpppppp! when we’re in the pool & the fountain spray redirects towards my cigarette. I don’t know why it still cracks us up, but it does.
Omigod, Brayella… You smoke? I would never have imagined that.
I just can’t imagine anyone on RBD polluting their body like that!
(As in: We are a dying breed, we are. I feel like it is my dirty little secret.)
Shhh! No one IRL knows!
(the cheetoh dust on my fingertips hides the smell)
Omg I love you!
♥ backatcha!
(I think it came about during a drunken game of WHO AM I?)
Amy couldn’t handle a RBA. Seriously there’s some joyless sadness there – she’s like a unhappy pimp.
You done goofed Jelly D. You’ve woken the Kraken…fucking run…run for your mother fucking life.
someone needs to post that to her twitter lol!!
or: ASSBAUGHER
We need a more current face!
Did I flat-out miss coverage of these comments? I can’t find it here, but I’m so far behind on following all the links, so I just read this article (from velvet roper):
Meghan • a day ago −
The show is an embarrassment and not what I turn into Bravo for. Julia Allison is either on the spectrum of a severe mental disability or the worst human being who ever lived. The fact that Bravo enables this behavior is gross. Also, the jig is up, we all know Bravo set up her fake column for Elle and she in fact is not a real relationship columnist. I suppose I could excuse some of this if the show was not incredibly boring with no new incites whatsoever. Emily is okay, Amy needs to get behind Julia in some severe therapy.
Julia Allison • 9 hours ago • parent
Hi there “Meghan” -
You really think I’m “the worst human being who ever lived”? You must live in a pretty awesome world! I want to go to there!
I’ll only correct your factual error. Bravo did not “set up” my column with ELLE. They don’t have that power. But if you would like to believe this, that’s your prerogative. Just know that it’s not true.
PS. That was a very creative spelling for “incites”! People tend to spell it “insights.” Crazy, right?
“WRINGER”, D0nkey … ook it lup, you failwhale fake journalist.
She corrects a “factual error” [sic] but skirt(pull)s the mental disability comment. YOU GO LA CHICK!
Fuck it, changing my name now.
Her use of ‘factual error’ has me wondering if the legalese is ELLE vs elle.com …
Good point. My Greg, every word she taps out with her hooves are smothered and covered with scheme juices.
Yeah and ” incites”…
She sure has been an utter rage beast today!!! And you know Jelly got an earful!
You just know she blew up Jelly’s phone. He needs to change his name and leave the state.
There really should be a witness relocation type program for “all the boys.”
you rang!
In any case, she doesn’t have a column with Elle — she has a “guest blog” on elle.com.
I’d love for someone from elle.com to come here and give us the real story.
Oh my GREG, a certain botch has time on her hands, to respond like that.
Yeah, Bravo, owned by NBC , housed at 30 Rock, has no power or influence at all in the media world. They are powerless and could never get Julia her wee-wee maxipad of a column at Elle. I’m totally sure Andy Cohen and Joe Zee, creative director of Elle, have absolutely never met, gossiped like girlfriends over cocktails, done favors for each other professionally, like giving Donks an Elle column. It’s unpossible that they probably do it all the time and have a good laugh over all the crazy bitches they have to deal with! “They don’t have that power”.
Oh, honey. So freaking naive. Or lying, more probably. Yeah, you didn’t get your one fake writing gig because of your talents -they needed a fucking excuse for your sorry lazy life to put you on the show. To promote the show, sell ads, beyond anything to do with you. They had to pretend, because before they came calling, you really did botch every legit journalism gig you had. Opportunities that many talented writers deserved more than you, because you’re a terrible writer. Ha, yes Bravo has the “power” to get you your fake Elle Online gig that’s mysteriously hard to find, your “articles”. Seriously, you think Andy and Joe Zee aren’t pals and fellow self-promoters doing what they need to do? (And nothing wrong with that.)
“Hey Joe, could you slap up a blog by a dumb hosebeast for me, so we can pretend she’s an Elle dating columnist or something? I dunno, she’s annoying the fuck out of me with texts and emails lately.”
“Sure Andy, I’ll have an intern deal with it and it’ll be far away so it won’t taint the brand. You’re paying for the next round, bitch! Aren’t expense accounts the best? Wow, I pity you dealing with Julia Allison. I remember reading about her back in the 90′s. Bartender!”
I’m totally sure Andy Cohen and Joe Zee, creative director of Elle, have absolutely never met, gossiped like girlfriends over cocktails, done favors for each other professionally, like giving Donks an Elle column.
Let’s not forget Keith Pollock, who’s not only a former BF of Joe Zee but also held a managing title on Elle’s digital mag, & was in Episode I of Miss Advised — whatever D0nkey is trying to spin here, there was most definitely pulling of ripcords to get her raft ass launched into
an ELLE columnan eight-week Easter egg hunt of a guest blog on elle.com.Joe Zee, the one who gave Olivia Palermo a fake job on “The Hills?” Oh puleeze. He’s a joke.
EXACTLY– and let her stay and even praised her when she did diddly-shit.
Ugh, I still have rage issues from watching that show. Watching the blonde chick who actually knew how to do her job give her the look of death was my favorite part of watching The City.
“no new incites”… That you, MMBH?
OMG and the quotes around “Meghan.” What a cunt. I don’t even think that’s a cat lady; just some Bravo watcher who hates the show. She has created a whole sea of new haters.
It reads to me like D0nkey thought she was responding to MegaTits.
She’s such a bitch.
There’s this gem, too:
D girl • 12 hours ago •
“Meghan,” you obviously don’t know the proper definition of the work “incite” to use it in a sentence. Try this: “In order to make $ .60 a shill for Kraft Cheesy Mac Skillets, Julia Allison incited the 80,000 Twitter followers she bought in the past 2 months to buy the product, by linking it.”
Is that more clear?
Then there’s the proper definition of “insights:” “I don’t have any insights as to how Julia Allison can think she can buy 80,000 Twitter followers and get away with it. It’s pretty ridiculous. The Miss Advised Facebook page only had 1,000 by the time she had 100,000 and her own FB page has only gone up 1,000 subscribers. Do you have any insight as to how she thinks companies are so gullible?”
Hope that helps!
INNER RAGE BEAST!!!!!!!
michele young @otragus
Getting caught up w WWHL…? how many x can @juliaAllison look at herself on the monitor…answer is the whole flipping show @BravoAndy
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4m Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
@otragus – you can’t see yourself in the monitor!!! So … How could I have been looking at myself??
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11:52 PM – 25 Jul 12 via Echofon · Details
Something is obviously going on today. Is it just the Jelly thing that has a fire under her ass ’cause SHE MAD!
This company just tweeted this to Donkey:
http://amplicate.com/hate/julia-allison
“She smells funny and is extremely rude.” OMG. What the fuck is that?
Just in case she decides to delete this:
Julia Allison @JuliaAllison
Watching preview of the 7th ep. For the record, I dated Andrew almost 3 mnths at this point. Somehow that turned into 2 dates on the show.
Why would she say this? She told Jacy “a couple of dates,” if I’m not mistaken. Why do none of his friends on Facebook know he was on Miss Advised or know her?
Come on, Donkey.
Also, someone put up a bunch of her tweets yesterday where she went on and on about other dates.
To that end…. she said on his facebook in late November that she was “stalking” his Facebook photos and didn’t even know what he looked like (because they had not met yet).
On February 14 she is talking about her Valentine in NYC who happened to be Michael Acton Smith so… how are they “very serious” (her words to Emily) if they have not met in late November but she has another man on Valentine’s day?
She really needs to be better with her Excel Spreadsheet O’ Lies.
I have insomnia… so yeah… as of Nov. 30, 2011, they had not even met yet.
Julia Allison
I’ve just Facebook stalked a solid 30 of your photographs, and I still have no idea what you look like.
29 November 2011 at 14:02 near Los Angeles, CA ·
Things that make you go Hmmmmmm??????
(You know when Newbies have a breaking point? This is my breaking point. For some odd reason, her trying to jam a fake relationship down America’s throat really bugs me. Go figure!)
Isn’t his day job advertising? Do you think she was trying to get in on another national ad campaign?
She was flat-out lying. She wouldn’t even have been contacting him if she didn’t know what he looked like. She is trying to de-creepify (not sure “solidly stalked” helps, in that regard) her randomly messaging him by claiming curiosity.
We’re supposed to believe that she can stalk his FB photos, therefore having easy access to his name, but not google him to find a photo (of which there are plenty)? DONK, PLEASE. That’s about the ONLY time a donkey knows how to use the googles. Never mind that following that prom date she herself said (or rather, used as an excuse to tweet eater guy in hopes of making him jelliz) that she hadn’t googled him until then. Right.
Wow, her actions must be off the chart and loonier than ever if she’s going into damage control this early.
Listen Donks, there’s only so many times you can blame editing before viewers start realizing you fuck up on an epic level every. single. episode. #NotFoolingAnyone
Also, Donkey should take the clue that Donut takes his association with her as “a long strange story” and that he’s gone from wanting his music on the show to 100% not wanting to promote he was on the show on Facebook and Twitter. He is not allowing pics on his FB that she is tagging him in and he is not answering any of her relentless tweets at him.
And though Donut’s friend takes care to block his last name and protect his privacy – Donkey made sure to link his personal FB page on her Bravo blog so everyone would know.
FREE JELLY DONUT!!!!!!
Weird, she said “preview” and not “episode”. I want to see the receipts on this 7th episode preview she’s supposedly watching, because Bravo’s MA site STILL has no donkey-storyline preview for the upcoming episode while Amy and Emily’s are up and definitely have been for a day or two.
You also have to love how she’s pushing the 3 months BS as if it somehow excuses her neediness, craziness and clear physical assault on the show. I don’t even understand how exactly it saves her; they appear to be having her so-called “DTR” (lame) talk in the episode, his friends don’t even appear to know who she is or that they were vurry vurry surrious, she’s talking about how she could fall in love with him, etc. etc. So, they were basically casually dating for 3 months – no relationship, no exclusivity, no exchange of her favorite three words (well, a one-sided one, maybe). I know that in her delusional mind this entitles her to consider him an ex and lay claim to her right to act out as she did, but NO DONKEY, you still look psycho!
Prom date with codename “The Donut” was Dec. 3, 2011 … according to her “LIVE TWEET” mania while they were actually on the date.
If 7th ep. is almost 3 months later, that would make it the end of Feb 2012.
So … let it unfold.
Also, is she trying to suggest it’s okay to physically assault someone after a certain amount of time has elapsed?
Dear god, if that’s the case I can begin beating the ever-loving crap out of my husband.
That’s a great grift idea for Dr. Gary.
“Workshop: How to jab, punch, slap, and hug the shit out of your quite serious relationships for fun and profit.”
Donkeyjuice…Donkeyjuice…Donkeyjuice
How awesome would it be if any one of Jelly Donut’s friends who reads here (Hai, gang!) right-clicked that gif to get the URL & then posted it in those fecebook comments? If he was my friend, I sure the hell would step up & do it for him.
Crossing my fingers that this happens.
Inspired and inspiring. Thank you Blinking. S.O.S. at. the. Camera
Amazing. Jacy needs to use this in a post.
You guys realize that she wrote that “clarification” of the jelly d timeline at 5am NYC time? Or has she gone home to mdr?
Some “incite” on why she missed that morning show?
I just can’t with this re-re lately. When is season 1 of this abomination over? I want to be able to watch Bravo again without her gapping maw appearing on my screen. Sadly, I think they’ll most likely be a season 2 of
*Sigh*
So I guess if her “ELLE” gig isn’t a Bravo hook-up, it will continue once the show in done? Right Julia?