“Stalker Is Such An Ugly Word” — Especially If You Are One

Oh. Dear.

Jelly, I don’t know if you read RBD. I know a whole shit-load of your friends do. I know you are a good guy who was not AT ALL into a Donkey, and you made a very terrible mistake in getting fleetingly involved with her, even though it was mostly on the down-low because you had the good sense to be really embarrassed to be seen in public with her.

But if you’re reading this, heed our advice: DEFRIEND HER NOW. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. Don’t respond to texts, Tweets, Facebook messages, voicemails, emails, bat signals, middle-of-the-night door poundings, NOTHING. DISENGAGE. Many before you have been where you’ve been. The only way to hose down a donkey is to completely ignore, block, delete, pretend she never existed.

You’re welcome.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

227 Responses to “Stalker Is Such An Ugly Word” — Especially If You Are One

  1. Cola chamPagne says:

    Jelly has a name!

  2. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    And? You should block her & encourage all of your friends to block her.

  3. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    They were so serious that none of these people in his life have any clue who she is.

    Donkey you are a vile lying sociopath. Shut up and get help.

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Someone at Bravo is probably consulting Legal right now …

  5. Dr. Gary says:

    I honestly feel bad for any guy who dates her. They have no clue what a psycho she is. The only thing they can hope for is that she latches onto a new guy, as they slowly back out of the room.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I’m on the fence about how bad I feel. I feel like you have to be an idiot to not at least catch on fast about what a Stage 5 clinger she is.

      The thing is, like with Jelly, she leads with sex: “I’m so turned on by your pictures.” A guy think he’s going to pound town pretty easily and he just stops thinking. (I guess?)

      I’d love to know the full story.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        I wonder if off camera she is more subdued in the beginning? She must be able to hide the crazy long enough to go on more than one date.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          I think he had an agenda, too. Allegedly he was only doing it to feature his music… and the obviously were looking for an arc, so I suppose he signed on for 3-4 episodes? All a ploy to get the audience involved.

          But the look on his face during the dinner party scene is one of utter regret and mortification. PLUS, he has not tweeted or Facebooked about it – he obviously decided IT’S JUST NOT WORTH IT.

          • virgil reid says:

            i think thats interesting — he was mostly motivated by exposure and now decided he didn’t want any whatsoever? i wish there was more intel because id very curious how he parted ways with her. it must have been severe enough that he won’t even promote the show.

          • I wanna see the next episode, but I’m thinking he got slapped in the face and said “Fuck this shit o’ clock.”

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            Agreed w. Alexandra. Really, if ever there were a way for JellyD to get rid of stage 1 billion clinger donkey without having to try (repeatedly, and probably with little result) to let her down easily (one, because he felt bad, and two, because he’d probably be afraid of how she’d retaliate), being assaulted on national television was it. It could’ve felt like a feather had touched his cheek and it sill would’ve made for a very easy “No, sorry, that kind of physical violence is just unacceptable, I can’t do this anymore.” out.

          • cola champagne says:

            He should have done it when she dropped to the floor. I’m sure her guests were very confused by that. They probably thought her adopted son from her secret pregnancy had finally found her.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          All very well to hypothesize, and give Jelly D credit for having a brain cell, but one must remember that he spent New Year’s Eve with A Donkey and there are photos to prove it. So The Slap (if any) was not the end.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            How come I don’t even remember her New Year’s Eve this year? I am completely drawing a blank. Where were the photos?

          • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

            Didn’t someone mention how she changed her technique with Greasy to “@” him instead of tagging him so he couldn’t remove it. Same thing here.
            [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/9leaev.png[/img]

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Wow, I never saw this picture. It’s on Facebook? The poor dude.

          • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

            ss, sf
            The note on the side says “Illegal photography at Soho House with [link].

          • MY Beach Home says:

            She dated a smoker? I mean, she is stalking a smoker?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            With all of D0nkey’s lies, I can’t get a grip on the timeline … was this the Diggnation Finale? Did she just insinuate herself into that pose w/ him? Or are they really somewhere on NYE as a date?

            I don’t buy it …

          • Skirt Pull says:

            The body language is totally off. His legs are crossed and away from her. He’s not looking towards her. His arms are not touching her body. The whole look, like much of his other physical interactions with her, is totally disengaged and disassociated, just humoring her, while she pours her whole body onto him.

      • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

        Here is someone who’s clearly on a mission to garner as much publicity for his ridiculous “career” as he possibly can, and he’s ACTIVELY passing up attention/acknowledgement/recognition.

        How embarrassed must he be?

        Dear Greg, (did I do that right?) how embarrassed must SHE be right now…

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          She is not embarrassed. That is one of her biggest problems, the inability to feel shame.

        • Skirt Pull says:

          Let’s not forget that this dude DRESSES UP LIKE A DONUT AND RAPS. I love that he does that and I know he’s a hipster and that it’s at least somewhat sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek and he’s got real skillz. But still, for JA to become obsessed with a rapping donut? After the Republican wife thing? How the mighty have fallen. It’s almost tragicomical.

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      I don’t think Julia actually “dates” anyone. She just throws around the three months shit like a monkey in a cage and expects it to stick. She managed to smear the pancakes way past expiration on her glass wall. Lewis How? And Jelly D were just screaming for the ape house club, no pity here.

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      How can they not know, at least after spending even a little bit of time with her? Do you think she can hide the cray-cray for very long at all?

      No, she latches onto these loserish guys and starts with the full-on worship, so that they think they’re about to get the lay of their life. So they hang on for a little while, then give up when they don’t get it or she turns out to be lousy in bed.

  6. virgil reid says:

    why is the concept of self respect so allusive for her? just let it go already. he doesn’t want you. think enough of yourself to move on. her behavior just gets more sad and more pathetic as the years go on.

    • virgil reid says:

      eek i mean elusive.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      I guess the narcissism trumps all other things. Jacy and others have made some very insightful comments about how NPD types can’t process rejection. It’s fascinating but it also reinforces for me that I will never let another narcissist into my life.

  7. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Wait… I don’t get it. I thought she had a life changing experience and was never going to act the way she did on the show????????

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Apparently, her big breakthrough is that she’ll tone down the cuntitude unless people fail to recognize that she is NOT!!! RANDOM!!

      Simple rules everyone should follow in order for Julia Allison to treat you civilly:

      -If you’re waiting for a parking space and you see her, give her your parking space. She’s famous and she deserves it because she’s busier than you are.

      -Speak of her in a reverential and specific manner. Example of what not to say: “the LA chick”. Corrected example: “Miss Julia Allison, that ineffably tiny & cute celebrity”.

      -If she condescends to go on a date with you, you’re not allowed to break up with her. Ever.

      -Do not criticize Julia Allison’s behavior. Ever heard of papal infallibility? Consider that a lower bound for how polite you should be to Miss Julia. Yes, you should also kiss her ring (after you put one on her finger, of course).

  8. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    This is actually among the funniest Donkey behavior in some time. Feeling random, Julia?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      SHE IS NOT RANDOM!

      It’s like an Advent calendar that we get to open each day until Craymas finally arrives.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        That is exactly what the Miss Advised Season is here in the cat lady basement: a never-ending and ever-delightful advent calendar.

        • Sake Bombardier says:

          That’s so “this!” I was just thinking how this is all playing out in unexpectedly delicious small yet NOT RANDOM ways.

  9. LA Chick (Downward Spiral Donk aka Cocoloco) says:

    How dare they not know who she is…she is continuing to spiral (fun!)

  10. sausage curls/fingers says:

    “That LA chick has a name “Transbraytion: “Don’t you know who I am????”

  11. Commenting on a status update that is two days old? Just to inform the people in the conversation that you’re eavesdropping on that you’re eavesdropping on them? That’s not a completely insecure thing to do.

    • WhatDoesAGirlHaveToDoToGetAKissAroundHere says:

      HAHA I didn’t notice the dates…

      • Actually, it’s four days old. Which makes it even more psychotic.

        • WhatDoesAGirlHaveToDoToGetAKissAroundHere says:

          JellyD is gonna have to answer to this bs eventually.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Meanwhile, he better not open any pkgs he didn’t order, & he better not let his cat roam outside …

        • Jack the Bulldog says:

          If you’ve diagnosed her as psycho because of a 4 days later response, what would be the diagnosis re responding to a gawker article over ONE YEAR later? Seriously. Juliar (I refuse to call her anything else from now on) responded to a gawker piece on her lame ass with a an “update” ONE YEAR LATER in the comments section.

          • CaptainGary says:

            I knew she always has to get in the last word, but that’s some straight up “Butterfly” by Crazytown.

          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            And I just remembered that Juliar’s comment was something about how much she’d changed! She may have acted like a hosebeast but that was a year ago and things were now very, very different.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Look at her Wikipedia page Hx … she was blasting those folks a load of shit on Christmas Bray.

          • Come my donkey / come come my donkey / you’re my butterface / sugar-crazy.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            the classic jam by Donkeytown!

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      Which shows it didn’t pop up on her newsfeed or anything, she went to personally scope out his facebook instead and found it.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        She might have read it here too, I posted about him calling being on the show “a long strange story.”

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I bet anything she read it here. She reads here constantly. HI DONK! THERAPY! T-H-E-R-A-P-Y! Preferably in-patient!

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Never gonna happen. People like that have to hit a rock bottom and she never will, not as long as she has nobody around her who is willing (or brave enough) to be honest with her. While her parents won’t (or maybe can’t) pay for a trust fund style of living, she’ll never have to worry about being homeless or hungry.

  12. du/coveted vag space says:

    her comment is straight up bunny boiler. like i got chills down my spine when i read it. pictured her in my closet. with her eye slits peering out. “she has a name you know…”

    shivers i tell you!

    ooof. oof! ahhhhh!!!!

  13. Albie Quirky says:

    This is beautiful. Between this and the sleeping through a TV appearance, it is getting all Valley of the Dolls up in hurr, and I am digging it.

    • helobabe says:

      Ha, so true – also brings new meaning to the song by Bright Eyes

      In the morning
      When you throw up water
      And your skin turns a pale, pale yellow
      Well, every day you lose more color
      Do you think that someone paints your mirror?
      So you think that things sound different
      At the time when you speak
      Well, there are visions much clearer than these blurs that you see
      And like Neely O’Hara you swallow your sleep
      And wake up in the morning
      To find you are not who you used to be
      You don’t recognize the behavior
      Or the spelling of your name and the shape that is in the mirror
      Well, you’d swear it is not the same
      And like Neely O’Hara
      You swallow your sleep and you really can’t remember
      But you know you are not
      Think you are not
      No, you are not who you used to be

      • mcakez says:

        You failed to mention that you and Conor, like, totally discussed rings. You fail at being Donkeytown.

    • LA Chick (Downward Spiral Donk aka Cocoloco) says:

      Love the Valley of the Dolls reference!

  14. My Parents Gave Me A Measly Ten Grand says:

    Guys. I need help. My mom thinks Donkey and Amy are the most real characters on the show. She doesn’t think they’re mentally ill. She thinks Donkey has a ‘very childlike look’ and looks younger than 31.

    She’s yelling at me for criticizing her. Oy vey. Someone help me.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      My mother would like her too. Because my mother likes that kind of ’50s style and would like her loud bray-y-ness because she is that way herself, and also a completely insane narcissist. Is your mother like that? If so, remain calm, do not engage.

      • My mom liked watching The Hills for some reason, but I think if I ever made her watch this show she would want me to turn it off as soon as JA starts screaming. My mother, not a fan of unnecessarily noisy people.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Is your Mom crazy? Not that that’s a bad thing. But if she is, there’s your answer!

      • My Parents Gave Me A Measly Ten Grand says:

        Nah, she’s not crazy. She’s just one of those “try to see the best in everyone” people.

        • My Parents Gave Me A Measly Ten Grand says:

          And she says that she thinks she’s still dating Jelly (is she?) and that I shouldn’t judge people until I’ve walked in their shoes.

          She also doesn’t think Amy has an eating disorder.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            No, your mum is miles off base. People who don’t have eating disorders don’t carry on about calories on dates with guys they hardly know.

            Also, we know that Julie isn’t still dating Jelly Donut because she came here and said that they weren’t dating any more, that he was a good kid, and now she was dating DeStorm.

          • As someone who’s been through it, Amy definitely has disordered thinking when it comes to food and exercise. Seems like she made headway on her date with Highlights, but I hope she gets over it for good.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            DeStorm!

            #NevahForget

            LOL, he’s gone too! He grabbed his Diet Coke and bailed!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          My friend was all: “Brayella! That’s someone’s daughter!” (when I showed her the Easter Kinder Whore dragstume) but when I showed her the clip-in sausage curls, she could barely contain her snickers …

          So that’s my recommendation:
          SHOW MOM THE PELTS!

          • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

            I’m sorry to ask this: but. the. curls. are… CLIP INS?

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Not anymore but for about two years she had clip-in pelts and they were the most awful, plastic, fake-looking dead animal/Barbie hair monstrosities you could imagine. I am in a Benadryl coma but just search on “clip-in pelts” in the RBD search engine and I’m sure you’ll find past posts about it. Or even Google “julia allison” + clip-in pelts. She’s also wearing a ton of them in the Sony Viao ads, and said later that she really believed they looked good. Oh honey.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            You see, for the current pelts, they’re just spritzed with a grifted dry shampoo spray and created with a curling iron set to “burn”.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            She also had wangs!
            (wig=/=bangs)
            [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/296dy02.png[/img]

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            There’s this quick & dirty Google search …

          • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

            Oh dear, I googled it, I couldn’t help myself, and you’re right. They. are. INSANITY

            ps. one entry I found features her hair cut right after Tova Borgnine’s, which for some reason continues to crack me up

            pps. yes, the bangs are ridiculous, but also: what the hell is she wearing? the pants?!? the shoes?!? my eyes!!!

          • Dyspeptic says:

            My gawd, the wants outfit!!!! The giant white pants!!!!! So very, very wrong. Why, lord, why?

          • Dyspeptic says:

            er, the wangs outfit. curse you, autocorrect.

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            See also: Handbag Stuffed with Hair & the relevant backstory.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            My gawd, the wants outfit!!!! The giant white pants!!!!! So very, very wrong. Why, lord, why?

            Cognitive dissonance.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Oh, that’s sweet. Just let her know, however, that Donkey would steal her husband in a heartbeat in the right circumstances.

    • Donk. Donk. Who's There? says:

      I watched with my mother last night. I told her I wanted an outsider’s view of JA. After about 10 minutes she said, “This is boring,” and fell asleep.

  15. Scooby Don't says:

    All of Jelly D’s Facebook friends are going to get invitations to go out for coffee with a Donkey.
    She will be liked damn it!

  16. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    **ahem**
    “I’ve got my (wonk)eye on you, Mr. Sonbgbird …”
    [img]http://ic2.pbase.com/g1/46/977146/2/132584697.PoGTsndj.jpg[/img]

    • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

      Oh lawdy, this is ripe for a photoshoppe – I’m picturing one of those SOON memes with a frightened JellyD in the foreground.

  17. JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

    This has just destroyed my faith in Love Coaching. If Annie Lalala can’t cure Donkey of her stalking ways, WHO CAN!?!?!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I feel the same way about the witches and the mind architect!!!

      Hopefully fortune cookies will save her!

  18. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    OMG I just went looking for pelt pix and I found this, and I have not stopped laughing for five minutes.

    http://i48.tinypic.com/vsme0n.jpg

    Who fucking did this? That is a masterpiece. I am weeping with laughter.

  19. Princess Sparklefart says:

    [img]http://imgflip.com/i/29ev[/img]

  20. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Julia should get the tattoo mentioned in a Harry Crews novel as fair warning to all happy-go-lucky pastries:

    IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING / SET IT FREE / IF IT LOVES YOU / IT WILL COME BACK / IF IT DOESN’T / HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT

    • Jelly Roll (formerly newbie) says:

      Can’t you just see the 20/20 episode years down the road. One of those where you can’t tell if the subject is in jail or not until the end of the hour? And it starts with a close up montage of her saying “I never thought this would happen” “I couldn’t believe what I was hearing” “I was inside…”

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        “I was inside … her apartment … getting the tiara …”

      • Dr. Gary says:

        yes! that’s what I was saying. I’m obsessed with those shows like dateline on Friday nights. like the guy who killed his wife on the scuba diving trip and got away with it. I could totally see Julie on one of these shows. and I bet she’d get away with it.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          She’s not smart enough to get out of her own way –if she got away w/ anything, it’d be on an insanity plea w/ thanks to us for donkumenting the cray-cray.

      • virgil reid says:

        i LOLed hard

  21. darling dearest says:

    oooh and the girl that posted this exchange is “VH1 Director, On Air Promos”

    poor jelly D. i saw on facebook that we have a few friends in common and now i feel even more pity for him

  22. WhatDoesAGirlHaveToDoToGetAKissAroundHere says:

    LEFOOLIEH says:
    July 25, 2012 at 11:11 pm
    You see, for the current pelts, they’re just spritzed with a grifted dry shampoo spray and created with a curling iron set to “burn”.

    That, my friend, was a ki-ki-ki-killer!! LMAO!

  23. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Julia Allison I designed my own @BeachBikes limited edition cruiser: The Watermelon! I’m ridiculously proud of this

    In honor of Mulia Mallison: “THE MELON HEAD”
    [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/1gkqoi.png[/img]
    (for children 11 & under)

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Does Bravo know about this side deal? Doubt it.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Also… sad.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I think they get a cut of anything she brays-for-pay about for awhile — seems like I heard Bethenny explain this.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        I would guarantee she is on her own in this grift. This isn’t like a huge company like Amazon.com that has huge amounts of money to pay a company like Bravo. Bravo doesn’t deal with $50 shills.

    • Lulz says:

      She’s tasteless or colorblind.

    • WhatDoesAGirlHaveToDoToGetAKissAroundHere says:

      proud of “put pink and green on it and make it look like a watermelon bike”? So proud!

    • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

      Yes. Yes, it is ridiculous of you to be “proud” of such an ugly thing, Julia.

      You “designed” it? Julia, please tell me how the gears and braking work, exactly. It must have taken a long time to design, to make sure they work properly. I’ll bet all the R&D and testing were quite a challenge.

      Wait, you meant you merely chose the colors, ripping off Lily Pulitzer and watermelons , for this overpriced piece-of-shit bike, and you’re “proud” of it?
      You should be ashamed. But, did you know trying to ride a bicycle on wet beach sand is something you should really try? It’s awesome and exhilarating and really, really fun. Try to get as close to the water as you can, and it’s just bike-riding bliss. Try it!

    • mcakez says:

      For anyone who cares (and no one curr), that is actually a very specific design of an Electra Cruiser from about five years ago. Electra is the expensive brand from which her beloved Beach Bikes create knock offs.

      Not unlike her facial surgery, her bikes are the discount brand of something the rich and incompetent love.

      • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

        Also:
        [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/i799ch.png[/img]

        • Dr. Gary says:

          ABP = Always Be Plagiarizing

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          CAPTCHA said egg on
          As in: Egg On Yo Face, Lying Liar

          But you sure ride like a pro, D0nkey!
          [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/15mbww3.png[/img]

          • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

            You can’t fool me, this is a still from “Little People, Big World” She’s a wonderful mother.

  24. bitchface says:

    I’ve been cracking my huscat up by talking all evening in Amy-speak.

    oh my guwddddd you guyssssss. I’m like so sureeeeeee that – wait, is apple pick-uh-in, like dangeroussssss? You’re an idiot. Leave me ah-lone. Oh my gregggggg…..

    • bitchface says:

      ok ok I’ve been cracking myself up and annoying him…. sigh

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      It could be one of those “You are now reading this in so and so’s voice” memes

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I do the Kelly Killoren-Bensimon Stahhhhhpppppp! when we’re in the pool & the fountain spray redirects towards my cigarette. I don’t know why it still cracks us up, but it does.

      • mcakez says:

        Omigod, Brayella… You smoke? I would never have imagined that.

        I just can’t imagine anyone on RBD polluting their body like that!

        (As in: We are a dying breed, we are. I feel like it is my dirty little secret.)

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Shhh! No one IRL knows!
          (the cheetoh dust on my fingertips hides the smell)

      • Peltcakes says:

        Omg I love you!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          ♥ backatcha!

          (I think it came about during a drunken game of WHO AM I?)

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      Amy couldn’t handle a RBA. Seriously there’s some joyless sadness there – she’s like a unhappy pimp.

  25. Donkey of Perdition says:

    You done goofed Jelly D. You’ve woken the Kraken…fucking run…run for your mother fucking life.

  26. KashMoney says:

    [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/whem92.jpg[/img]

  27. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Did I flat-out miss coverage of these comments? I can’t find it here, but I’m so far behind on following all the links, so I just read this article (from velvet roper):

    Meghan • a day ago −
    The show is an embarrassment and not what I turn into Bravo for. Julia Allison is either on the spectrum of a severe mental disability or the worst human being who ever lived. The fact that Bravo enables this behavior is gross. Also, the jig is up, we all know Bravo set up her fake column for Elle and she in fact is not a real relationship columnist. I suppose I could excuse some of this if the show was not incredibly boring with no new incites whatsoever. Emily is okay, Amy needs to get behind Julia in some severe therapy.

    Julia Allison • 9 hours ago • parent
    Hi there “Meghan” –

    You really think I’m “the worst human being who ever lived”? You must live in a pretty awesome world! I want to go to there! :-)

    I’ll only correct your factual error. Bravo did not “set up” my column with ELLE. They don’t have that power. But if you would like to believe this, that’s your prerogative. Just know that it’s not true.

    PS. That was a very creative spelling for “incites”! People tend to spell it “insights.” Crazy, right?

    “WRINGER”, D0nkey … ook it lup, you failwhale fake journalist.

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      She corrects a “factual error” [sic] but skirt(pull)s the mental disability comment. YOU GO LA CHICK!

      • L.A. Chick says:

        Fuck it, changing my name now.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Her use of ‘factual error’ has me wondering if the legalese is ELLE vs elle.com

        • The L.A. Chick says:

          Good point. My Greg, every word she taps out with her hooves are smothered and covered with scheme juices.

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          Yeah and ” incites”…

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          She sure has been an utter rage beast today!!! And you know Jelly got an earful!

          • Dr. Gary says:

            You just know she blew up Jelly’s phone. He needs to change his name and leave the state.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            There really should be a witness relocation type program for “all the boys.”

      • Skirt Pull says:

        you rang! :)

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      In any case, she doesn’t have a column with Elle — she has a “guest blog” on elle.com.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      I’d love for someone from elle.com to come here and give us the real story.

    • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

      Oh my GREG, a certain botch has time on her hands, to respond like that.

      Yeah, Bravo, owned by NBC , housed at 30 Rock, has no power or influence at all in the media world. They are powerless and could never get Julia her wee-wee maxipad of a column at Elle. I’m totally sure Andy Cohen and Joe Zee, creative director of Elle, have absolutely never met, gossiped like girlfriends over cocktails, done favors for each other professionally, like giving Donks an Elle column. It’s unpossible that they probably do it all the time and have a good laugh over all the crazy bitches they have to deal with! “They don’t have that power”.

      Oh, honey. So freaking naive. Or lying, more probably. Yeah, you didn’t get your one fake writing gig because of your talents -they needed a fucking excuse for your sorry lazy life to put you on the show. To promote the show, sell ads, beyond anything to do with you. They had to pretend, because before they came calling, you really did botch every legit journalism gig you had. Opportunities that many talented writers deserved more than you, because you’re a terrible writer. Ha, yes Bravo has the “power” to get you your fake Elle Online gig that’s mysteriously hard to find, your “articles”. Seriously, you think Andy and Joe Zee aren’t pals and fellow self-promoters doing what they need to do? (And nothing wrong with that.)

      “Hey Joe, could you slap up a blog by a dumb hosebeast for me, so we can pretend she’s an Elle dating columnist or something? I dunno, she’s annoying the fuck out of me with texts and emails lately.”

      “Sure Andy, I’ll have an intern deal with it and it’ll be far away so it won’t taint the brand. You’re paying for the next round, bitch! Aren’t expense accounts the best? Wow, I pity you dealing with Julia Allison. I remember reading about her back in the 90’s. Bartender!”

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I’m totally sure Andy Cohen and Joe Zee, creative director of Elle, have absolutely never met, gossiped like girlfriends over cocktails, done favors for each other professionally, like giving Donks an Elle column.

        Let’s not forget Keith Pollock, who’s not only a former BF of Joe Zee but also held a managing title on Elle’s digital mag, & was in Episode I of Miss Advised — whatever D0nkey is trying to spin here, there was most definitely pulling of ripcords to get her raft ass launched into an ELLE column an eight-week Easter egg hunt of a guest blog on elle.com.

      • cola champagne says:

        Joe Zee, the one who gave Olivia Palermo a fake job on “The Hills?” Oh puleeze. He’s a joke.

        • EXACTLY– and let her stay and even praised her when she did diddly-shit.

          Ugh, I still have rage issues from watching that show. Watching the blonde chick who actually knew how to do her job give her the look of death was my favorite part of watching The City.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      “no new incites”… That you, MMBH? :)

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      [img]http://kowthas.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/cuckoobird.jpg[/img]

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      OMG and the quotes around “Meghan.” What a cunt. I don’t even think that’s a cat lady; just some Bravo watcher who hates the show. She has created a whole sea of new haters.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        It reads to me like D0nkey thought she was responding to MegaTits.

    • Sausage Snappers says:

      She’s such a bitch.

    • There’s this gem, too:

      D girl • 12 hours ago •
      “Meghan,” you obviously don’t know the proper definition of the work “incite” to use it in a sentence. Try this: “In order to make $ .60 a shill for Kraft Cheesy Mac Skillets, Julia Allison incited the 80,000 Twitter followers she bought in the past 2 months to buy the product, by linking it.”

      Is that more clear?

      Then there’s the proper definition of “insights:” “I don’t have any insights as to how Julia Allison can think she can buy 80,000 Twitter followers and get away with it. It’s pretty ridiculous. The Miss Advised Facebook page only had 1,000 by the time she had 100,000 and her own FB page has only gone up 1,000 subscribers. Do you have any insight as to how she thinks companies are so gullible?”

      Hope that helps!

  28. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    INNER RAGE BEAST!!!!!!!

    michele young ‏@otragus
    Getting caught up w WWHL…? how many x can @juliaAllison look at herself on the monitor…answer is the whole flipping show @BravoAndy
    Expand
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    4m Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @otragus – you can’t see yourself in the monitor!!! So … How could I have been looking at myself??
    Hide conversation
    Reply Retweet Favorite
    11:52 PM – 25 Jul 12 via Echofon · Details

    Something is obviously going on today. Is it just the Jelly thing that has a fire under her ass ’cause SHE MAD!

  29. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    This company just tweeted this to Donkey:

    http://amplicate.com/hate/julia-allison

  30. WhatDoesAGirlHaveToDoToGetAKissAroundHere says:

    Just in case she decides to delete this:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Watching preview of the 7th ep. For the record, I dated Andrew almost 3 mnths at this point. Somehow that turned into 2 dates on the show.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Why would she say this? She told Jacy “a couple of dates,” if I’m not mistaken. Why do none of his friends on Facebook know he was on Miss Advised or know her?

      Come on, Donkey.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Also, someone put up a bunch of her tweets yesterday where she went on and on about other dates.

      To that end…. she said on his facebook in late November that she was “stalking” his Facebook photos and didn’t even know what he looked like (because they had not met yet).

      On February 14 she is talking about her Valentine in NYC who happened to be Michael Acton Smith so… how are they “very serious” (her words to Emily) if they have not met in late November but she has another man on Valentine’s day?

      She really needs to be better with her Excel Spreadsheet O’ Lies.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        I have insomnia… so yeah… as of Nov. 30, 2011, they had not even met yet.

        Julia Allison
        I’ve just Facebook stalked a solid 30 of your photographs, and I still have no idea what you look like.
        29 November 2011 at 14:02 near Los Angeles, CA ·

        Things that make you go Hmmmmmm??????

        (You know when Newbies have a breaking point? This is my breaking point. For some odd reason, her trying to jam a fake relationship down America’s throat really bugs me. Go figure!)

        • cola champagne says:

          Isn’t his day job advertising? Do you think she was trying to get in on another national ad campaign?

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            She was flat-out lying. She wouldn’t even have been contacting him if she didn’t know what he looked like. She is trying to de-creepify (not sure “solidly stalked” helps, in that regard) her randomly messaging him by claiming curiosity.

            We’re supposed to believe that she can stalk his FB photos, therefore having easy access to his name, but not google him to find a photo (of which there are plenty)? DONK, PLEASE. That’s about the ONLY time a donkey knows how to use the googles. Never mind that following that prom date she herself said (or rather, used as an excuse to tweet eater guy in hopes of making him jelliz) that she hadn’t googled him until then. Right.

    • JuLIAR Allison says:

      Wow, her actions must be off the chart and loonier than ever if she’s going into damage control this early.

      Listen Donks, there’s only so many times you can blame editing before viewers start realizing you fuck up on an epic level every. single. episode. #NotFoolingAnyone

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Also, Donkey should take the clue that Donut takes his association with her as “a long strange story” and that he’s gone from wanting his music on the show to 100% not wanting to promote he was on the show on Facebook and Twitter. He is not allowing pics on his FB that she is tagging him in and he is not answering any of her relentless tweets at him.

        And though Donut’s friend takes care to block his last name and protect his privacy – Donkey made sure to link his personal FB page on her Bravo blog so everyone would know.

        FREE JELLY DONUT!!!!!!

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Weird, she said “preview” and not “episode”. I want to see the receipts on this 7th episode preview she’s supposedly watching, because Bravo’s MA site STILL has no donkey-storyline preview for the upcoming episode while Amy and Emily’s are up and definitely have been for a day or two.

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      You also have to love how she’s pushing the 3 months BS as if it somehow excuses her neediness, craziness and clear physical assault on the show. I don’t even understand how exactly it saves her; they appear to be having her so-called “DTR” (lame) talk in the episode, his friends don’t even appear to know who she is or that they were vurry vurry surrious, she’s talking about how she could fall in love with him, etc. etc. So, they were basically casually dating for 3 months – no relationship, no exclusivity, no exchange of her favorite three words (well, a one-sided one, maybe). I know that in her delusional mind this entitles her to consider him an ex and lay claim to her right to act out as she did, but NO DONKEY, you still look psycho!

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      Prom date with codename “The Donut” was Dec. 3, 2011 … according to her “LIVE TWEET” mania while they were actually on the date.
      If 7th ep. is almost 3 months later, that would make it the end of Feb 2012.

      So … let it unfold.

      Also, is she trying to suggest it’s okay to physically assault someone after a certain amount of time has elapsed?

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        Dear god, if that’s the case I can begin beating the ever-loving crap out of my husband.

        • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

          That’s a great grift idea for Dr. Gary.
          “Workshop: How to jab, punch, slap, and hug the shit out of your quite serious relationships for fun and profit.”

  31. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/17v1p0.gif[/img]

  32. ShesJustStupid says:

    You guys realize that she wrote that “clarification” of the jelly d timeline at 5am NYC time? Or has she gone home to mdr?

  33. jc says:

    I just can’t with this re-re lately. When is season 1 of this abomination over? I want to be able to watch Bravo again without her gapping maw appearing on my screen. Sadly, I think they’ll most likely be a season 2 of ;-) *Sigh*

  34. Can-Swiss says:

    So I guess if her “ELLE” gig isn’t a Bravo hook-up, it will continue once the show in done? Right Julia?

Comments are closed.