This Is All

I would say: “Run, JellyD!!!” but it seems he already did. So now I will say: “Please continue ignoring her crazy ass on Twitter. Otherwise you’ll end up back in this horrifying situation:”

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

230 Responses to This Is All

  1. Scooby Don't says:

    That face says “I’m so afraid I just voided my bowels”

    • helobabe says:

      During the show I felt like I could see the wheels turning in JD’s head: He was really thinking, “Can I go through with this just for the publicity?” You’re right – he looked SO scared. Definitely aghast at what he got himself into…

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        I’ve never seen a face so alive with shame and regret in my life.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Anyone catch his face (& by ‘face’, I mean his pleading looks at the couch) in a later scene / seen / sean (Hai, MMBH!) when they discussed him staying over & he said ‘yeah, he needed a place to die of embarrassment sleep’ ?

  2. donniedriveby says:

    I think he’d be lucky to hit 20 out of 73 on her must have list. Why’s she so crestfallen?

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      I think even she knows the list is BS.

      However, let’s pretend otherwise. Maybe the musical talent item is super-important to her. I play guitar, Julia. Wanna hear shitloads of Bach? I’d offer some Chopin, too, but Chopin doesn’t transcribe well to guitar. Not the kind of guitar you were picturing? Oh good, you’re leaving.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        O hell, D0nkey doesn’t know shit about struggling musicians! The favorite running joke among GF’s of musicians I know is this:

        Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
        A: HOMELESS

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          The asinine hobbyblogger wants a hobbymusician, I think.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2gdOVZKui2s/TYoJSROMUgI/AAAAAAAAAAY/SB4mZtHpGzY/s748/donkeydonuts.jpg[/img]

          • Albie Quirky says:

            The Donut has a day job at an ad agency, doesn’t he?

      • KashMoney says:

        the list was her attempt to portray herself as quirky on the show, she wanted to give them an arc instead of allowing the editors to derive one naturally.

    • JFA says:

      I think she is so desperate for SOMEONE ANYONE to love her at this point, that she “Falls in love” with all the men who don’t immediately run shrieking away. It’s obvious. She didn’t even seem that into the William guy but she could not stop trying to get him to kiss her. She’s just the definition at this poin. But also SOOOOO one of those chicks who, once they have what they think they want, they want something else. She will never be happy.

      • cola champagne says:

        No one can take that seriously. If you fall in love with everyone, you’re not falling in love with anyone. You’re just infatuated and fickle.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        How many times has she claimed to be in love in the last two-to-three years. Four times? TK, PK, Pancakes, and now this guy.

        Who would trust her on that front?

        And imagine the freakout if she found some dude who met the criteria on her checklist and then learned by Googling the fucker that he’d claimed publicly to be in love with four other women in the previous couple of years.

        LUNATIC LOSER.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        D0nkey extrapolates any & everything a dude has going for him & works it into an imaginary fantasy of how said dude exists solely to ensure that D0nkey lives happily ever after …

        The bigger the fantasy, the harder she falls.

  3. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Since JellyD is a musical man and likes to post covers on Youtube, may I suggest the Steely Dan chestnut with the chorus “I fear the monkey in your soul.”

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      You’re the best, SS.

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      Just think about the Steely Dan lyrics that fit A Donkey. They wrote so many great lyrics about tragic people.

      “Only a fool would say that”

      “Your everlasting summer
      You can see it fading fast
      So you grab a piece of something
      That you think is gonna last
      You wouldn’t know a diamond
      If you held it in your hand
      The things you think are precious
      I can’t understand”

      “We hear you’re leaving, that’s okay”

      “I never seen you looking so bad my funky one”

      “Yes I’m dying to be a star and make them laugh
      Sound just like a record on the phonograph
      Those days are gone forever
      Over a long time ago, oh yeah”

      “Where did you get those shoes?”

      “Gonna do just what I please”

      “And I’m going insane
      And I’m laughing at the frozen rain
      And I’m so alone”

      “It was a cryin’ disgrace
      They saw your face”

      “You call me a fool
      You say it’s a crazy scheme”

      “They got a name for the winners in the world
      I want a name when I lose”

      And that’s just off the top of my head. Sad Donkey is sad.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Love Donald Fagen!

        Did you know that their band name is reference to a strap-on?

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        There do seem to be a lot of nasty women in Steely Dan songs.

        • Delurkish says:

          Do you have a dark spot on your past?
          Leave it to my man he’ll fix it fast.
          Pepe has a scar from ear to ear.
          He will make your mugshot disappear.
          You zombie;
          Be boooooooorn again my friend;
          Won’t you sign in stranger?!

  4. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    So Donkey was called out by a girl on Twitter for acting like a mental maniac about some guy she just met… Jelly D. Donkey counters on Twitter that she and the Donut dated for 3 months.

    But low and behold… Donkey Tweeleted that Twat… probably because one Jelly Donut would completely contradict that.

    Luckily, I found the girl’s tweet who references Julia telling her Donkey and Donut dated for three months.

    Rebecca Swinton ‏@Couponbeck
    @JuliaAllison Up to that point hadn’t u only met him once? & is 3 mths supp 2 b a long time to date someone altho u r looking for a husband?

    22h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @Couponbeck – I fall in love FAST!
    9:42 PM – 23 Jul 12 via Echofon · Details

    Jelly D has still ignored Julia dozen or more @s on the Twitters as well as his subtle blow off on the Facebooks.

  5. Actual Shower Vommer says:

    Speaking of faces…I’ll just leave this one here…

    [img]http://tinypic.com/r/4gspw1/6[/img]

    (WWHL Bravo page)

    • Actual Shower Vommer says:

      [img]http://tinypic.com/r/4gspw1/6[/img]

      • Actual Shower Vommer says:

        : (

        • Jack the Bulldog says:

          Your attempts made me check out the page. They really do not like Juliar “I overslept and missed the shoot” Albertson over at Bravo!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Blow-up doll for BIG boyz:
          [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/bm0cn.png[/img]
          CAPTCHA = too salty!

          • Oh my. Put a ball gag in it.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            Too salty indeed.

            Bravo doesn’t have Donkey video for Episode 6 or 7. The subtle ways in which they show they hate her make me feel more alive.

          • Actual Shower Vommer says:

            did you ever know that you’re my heeeeeeeeeee-rooooooooo

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            That’s heeHAWro to you,
            & don’t you forget it! ;-)

          • Downward Spiral Donk (formerly) Cocoloco says:

            Whorror wax doll!

          • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

            GAH!! Brain bleach!! Brain bleach STAT!!

            Can we delete this image? PLEASE?

            I really don’t want to see it again and I’m worried it will not haunt me until the end of days.

          • A Donkey is an Ass says:

            Put it away Donkey. Andy won’t buy you new shoes.

          • frequent liar mile says:

            Hay-soos fucking Greg, that face …!?

          • So. Blessed. says:

            [img]http://content.ytmnd.com/content/3/3/d/33d19628aa7cc6c8e4d85053dbdded48.jpg[/img]

          • A Donkey is an Ass says:

            You win So Blessed. You win.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/1z57l7m.jpg[/img]

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            OMG it’s like the sky-diving picture, and almost as bad as the barking seal prominent teeth one that Amy Tweeted yesterday.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I posted a comment to her Bravo blog post asking why she didn’t mention falling on the floor rolling around; Bravo didn’t approve it.

            I almost wonder if even they realize that was the behavior of a mentally ill person and don’t want to draw any more attention to it. Andy didn’t mention it either the other night, and that would have been my first question to her.

          • cola champagne says:

            @Jacy: I mentioned whoever wrote Teresa’s blog was a hell of a ghost writer, given that she can’t even pronounce the word “ingredients” (I didn’t put that part in) and it wasn’t approved. They have stupid, sensitive interns guarding those blogs.

          • JFA says:

            Her face looks so frozen. No botox in a year my ass. Lay off your face, you are 31, you lunatic.

  6. Andy Whorehol says:

    The tvgasm recap is just as brilliant as thefrisky one. I dare say these recaps are worth suffering through this shitshow: http://www.tvgasm.com/home/miss-advised-recap-a-tale-of-two-parties.html

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      “Menace says he’s most commonly asked if she takes it in the butt, and I think that is something to be discussed with David Rubin, and David Rubin alone.”

      CROWN!

  7. All right, the suspense is killing me. I want to experience the cringeyness myself. Time to gear up the DVR.

  8. Getmeghanoutofmyhood says:

    Did anyone catch the fact that Britt cooked dinner but wasnt on camera?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Maybe I’m a conspiracy theorist but perhaps Ms. Morin knew it would be bad for her LOLbrand and asked to be cut out?

      Why else would she not Tweet about her appearance? For the most part she is a giant attention whore.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Wouldn’t sign the waiver?

      (more likely, Brit don’t do shit & was nowhere near the people advancing her agenda w/ all that angel investor $ but D0nkey sure did plug her cite / sight / site anyhoo)

    • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

      I’m not going to suffer through the episode again, but I’m pretty sure this is who I recognized as Brit during the episode. There were a lot of blue dresses, but the hair is right and she’s hovering over some lasagna cookies. From watching Silicon Valley being filmed in SF, it’s not that hard to avoid the cameras during a “scene,” even if you signed the waiver.

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/QNM7h.png[/img]

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        This would have been the point where Donk starts braying “YAY DINNER YAY DINNER” like an escaped mental patient. Also, the too-short frilly curtain that they use as a tablecloth. What the fuck?

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I remember commenting way back when (I think it was the post that has a pic of Big Julia & Little Julia sitting at the bar; probably includes threshold commentary) about there being a different dining table in the apartment …

          ALL those minute details D0nkey blahhhgged about (where Taylor hails from at any given point in his greasy existence: MONTANA! SAN FRANCISCO! PALO ALTO! STANFORD! WHO GIVES A FUCK?!) but nary a mention of how that biggo table came & went on her tots unscripted reality show. Inquiring minds want to know which hired-off-of-Craigslist-to-date-Julia-Allison-Baugher dude moved that biggo table.

      • Skirt Pull says:

        That was an unfortunate dress. I believe I wore something similar at 8 months prego.

  9. JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

    What was the behind-the-scenes intel we got on how Jelly feels about La Donks? I remember little birdies tweeting in our ears, but can’t remember what they said. Something along the lines of it was all for the publicity? Am I remembering that right?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I put it in the end of the last thread.

      • Skirt Pull says:

        But they don’t even identify him as Jelly D! How is it for publicity then?

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Just like how Toilet Julia got reduced to her initials, which ain’t gonna sell her songs.

  10. The Tortuous and the Hair says:

    If anyone’s interested, here’s Emily’s 7/22/12 podcast with special guest Julia Allison. Julia comes on at about 45:00 and describes how she facebook messaged JellyD and initiated their journey to pound town.

      • afghani says:

        summary, please?

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          Donkey says she and Jelly D were “very serious” LOL.

        • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

          You can skip to the 45:00 mark and listen to her portion, it’s not all that long.

          Funny bits:

          Julia didn’t realize she was on the air and was having a conversation with someone in her kitchen at home. The only thing that is clearly audible is her yelling, “BULLSHIT!” and when Emily and Menace asked her about it, she explained that she was telling her friend that she used to get mean tweets and now she gets nice tweets. It made no sense, but they politely moved on.

          She says she FB messaged JellyD that she’s turned on by his pics and Menace commented that he would interpret that as an invitation to pound town. JellyD messaged her back & she replied that she would be coming up to SF in a few days. She met up with him that weekend – which contradicts her story about them FB messaging for a year (which is what she claimed on Miss Advised). Seriously, it’s amazing the ease with which the lies drip from her mouth. She stated very clearly to her new friend Jessica that JellyD popped up in her news feed and they had been FB messaging for a year.

          Donk also claimed that “we were very serious!” and dissed JellyD’s female fans who might be messaging him lame things like how much they like his music.

      • Falsies says:

        JA to Emily about David Rubin: “You could take him home to meet your mom, or you could have him do you doggy style.”

        IT WAS WEIRD THE FIRST TIME YOU MADE THIS “MOM + SEX” JOKE! STOP IT!

  11. Meow Mix says:

    Finally catching up on last night’s episode.

    Just….. so…… awful……

    No……. worrrrrrrrrrrddddddddssssssssssss

    • virgil reid says:

      are you watching it online for free by chance? i dont have a television and i havent been able to find it online anywhere.

      • Meow Mix says:

        Clips from The Frisky’s recap.

        • virgil reid says:

          i regret asking you this because now ive seen the clip where she is OMGing on the floor and i feel really uncomfortable.

          • Meow Mix says:

            Ha that’s exactly when I posted my first comment, watching that part! There are just no words, right?

  12. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    PS WTF Toilet Julia and Lewis Howes dating????

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      Publicity whores attracted to each other? Get out! People don’t do that.

    • afghani says:

      wait, when did this happen? did they show this last night?

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Donkey said it on WWHL.

        • afghani says:

          hmmm, does she mean “dating” as in “met each other 3 times”? bc, lulz.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            I think he’s waaaaaay into her. He’s all over her Facebook and even his mom commented on her. And he’s been coming out to LA a bunch. Who knows?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Pretty sure what she means is that Big Julia made out w/ him FIRST! Cuz that’s what Big Julia said last night. And THAT is what counts.

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            Yes, Donkey bellowing that she’d made out with Lewis before either of the other girls was pure class. I’m sure Amy and TJ appreciated that. I’m sure they were already aware of it, but there was no need to YELL it on national television. Gross.

          • bitchface says:

            or like maremarebeachhair (yeah, HAI MARY!) yell it out on twitter

  13. Nickelodeon Chic says:

    From the Observer.com write up of the watch party:

    “But Ms. Allison has heard it all. Of all of the girls, she has received perhaps the most criticism for her antics on the series. “I cried not every day, but every other day,” she told us. Like her co-stars, she told us she looks to support from the viewers who relate to her search for love to weather any of the negative attention, as she pulled out her iPhone to show The Observer screen shots of encouraging tweets from viewers.”

    She’s so hung up on being loved and proving that she is loved. It explains everything, besides the fact that she’s so unlikable.

  14. Oh man, she really slapped Donut’s face. What the fuck.

  15. i.just.cant! says:

    is it just me or does jelly d look like a young neil patrick harris? young as in when he was in doogie howser young? julia looks so fucking large next to him.

  16. JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

    How long before Donkey ditches the Zooey comparisons in favor of Isla Fisher?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4U_kt2h-Sc&feature=player_embedded

    Redhead, PROOOOMMMM!!! squealing in a stretch limo – it’s all here, just waiting for Donkey to make it all about her.

  17. So. Blessed. says:

    I thought I’d do Toilet Julia a solid and save her from wading through Lilly poo for another one of Donkey’s cast-off notebooks by offering the followup to The Checklist Song.

    The Narcissist Song
    If you’re thinking “who’s that bore?”
    Better check out the DSM-IV
    There’s a buncha people just like me
    With diagnoses on Axis Two and Three-ee-ee

    Taking advantage of others, I’ve got that covered
    You can ask just a few of my lovers
    I’ll let the web world know you’re bipolar
    Or I’ll wear your lost belt over and over

    Obsessed with myself? Well, that’s just you.
    108,000 Twitter friends love what I do.
    And there’s a “like” on all my fauxtoshoots.
    I’m wildly important and your argument is moot.

    So if you’re thinking “who’s that bore?”
    Better check out the DSM-IV
    There’s a buncha people just like me
    With diagnoses on Axis Two and Three-ee-ee

    Some call me immature and easily maligned,
    I’d rather blame it on my zodiac sign.
    I bought a love coach and Tony Robbins DVDS–
    Don’t you know how hard it is to be me-e-e-ee-ee?

    Obsessed with pink, tulle, and sips from the glass.
    I’ll slap your stupid face if you don’t kiss my ass.
    Buy me tiaras, lipsynch Disney songs–
    I’ll harass your exes if we don’t get along.

    (interlude)
    I don’t know why others find me strange…
    After ashrams, Burning Man, Botox and Ja-ack Mc-Caaaaiiiin
    All I needed was a reality show and a clomp through hot coals
    To make me change. To make me cha-ayayayange…chayahayhayhaynge…

    Hazmet from Denmark, your Tweets meant so much.
    Azalp Yerbua, you get it so real, BrAnDi711 what’s your deal?
    Promethus543IA seriously, hugs to you–JellyD ;) (we dated too!)
    I’m the most authentically authentic person that you’ve ever met…
    Check the checklist, yo!

    So…
    If you’re thinking “who’s that bore?”
    Better check out the DSM-IV
    There’s a buncha people just like me
    With diagnoses on Axis Two and Three-ee-ee

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Brills!

      • So. Blessed. says:

        Thanks! But I was tots inspired by Casio Julia. I’m surprised there is nothing to pull a song from in the year in ol’ MDR than The Notebooks of Julia Allison.

        Not the gently used chops of Lewis Howes, nor the brief, racially-tinged meeting of Craigslist Justin, sexay times with the former basketball player-turned-personal-trainer or the chicken and mash magic of HelloBrit! No, only the Checklist influenced the other Julia to whip out the Casio and create! create! create!

        I’m speaking for Annie Lalla here but the raw, underfunded talent in their space is probably giving Alton Busey a boner.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          You are cracking me UP!
          Great song, BTW!

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          HYSTERICAL.

          That’s what bugs the shit out of me. You want to be an artist and not have a job, go ahead. You’re supported someway, by Mommy Daddy, whatever – go make it happen. But be into your fucking art and not making songs about a fame whore with a reality show with the hopes that’s going to launch your career.

          Because now it’s confirmed, you’re as shallow and untalented as a Donkey.

          YOU TAKE CARE DEAR HEART!

    • Blinking.S.O.S.at.the.Camera says:

      That is exellent!

    • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      This should be RBD’s theme song.

    • fauxtoshoot says:

      This is fantastic!

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      So Blessed – that song is AMAZEBALLS!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I cannot stop laughing. Genius!

    • Excellent!! I smell a hit already, but I think it needs a rap verse.

      I’m stuck on myself like I got sloppy with glue
      Encrusted in society like the Lilly poo on my shoe
      You all wanna be me and you know this is true
      Talking about me, call me Donk De La Rue
      I know you feel sorry, but really I’m fine
      Therapy is for suckers– yo that sucker is mine!
      Behavior goes unchecked cuz I like it that way
      So don’t do what I do, but you better do as I say!

  18. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    Narcissus staring at his reflection.

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/KYsJk.png[/img]

  19. Julia's Authentic Pelts says:

    just watched the after-show of WWHL…wow Julia was a mess of mincing, putting on airs, trying to act cool, mugging for the camera. i thought andy was sweet when the lonely bear called in. and yeah, SLAM on the expiration date thing! lol

  20. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    OT: I don’t remember ever seeing Greasy’s word vomit on RBD before …

    My favorite haikus
    All you need to know about me with haikus

    Kosa and the fish On the river together Finding his long pole
    Craps name of the game Chips stacking, dice rolling, grease On the floor, nut punch
    Montana man but Product of new Jersey look Like boss Bruce springsteen

    Taylor Kosa Greason thinks he looks like Bruce Springsteen?
    Delusional much, you mouth-breathing asshat?

  21. bitchface says:

    I totally get that some people are not animal people (I didn’t say I understand it, just that I get it is a fact of life) because I’m always a tad uncomfortable when someone shoves their baby in my arms to hold.

    But WHY is Julia insistent that her OMG BFFFFFF STAR CROSSED LOVERS BECAUSE THERE’S NO EMOTIONAL CHEMISTRY Greasy hold Lily? Let alone that it’s mean to the dog, it’s also rude to her guest, yet she goes on and on and on for NO discernible reason other than SHE thinks it’s quite/quirky/whatever and doesn’t stop until he does.

    Last night’s show was by far the most boring (other than Julia giving birth on the floor when she dropped a JellyD onto it) but loved the bitch fight at the party by Amy. Love it when the pot calls the kettle black.

    • cola champagne says:

      I just thought it was so funny how Amy said “You’re an idiot” and kept walking. The little things make me laugh.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      That scene of D0nkey insisting repeatedly that Greasy get dog hair all over his dress shirt so that she can take fauxto 11-tyninethousand of her miserable mongrel accessory was, IMHO, quite the insight into how D0nkey gets dudes to hold her raft ass up in the air for a fauxto — just braybeats ‘em into submission, she does.

      Greasy Kosa, nut up just once, say: “No is NO & it’s NOT negotiable.”

      • Skirt Pull says:

        This is obviously the strategy she employed throughout her life with her dad. Seriously, my two year old does this – says things over and over and over again. If I acquiesce, I’m teaching her that strategy works. Clearly Julia’s parents acquiesced.

    • That was so stupid. He doesn’t want to hold the dog, so why are you forcing him to so you can take a picture? It didn’t even make sense. She loves a man without a backbone, that one.

      The Amy fight was hilarious. I thought that Tina lady was out of line, but Amy took it to the next level by waving her arms around in Tina’s face. The water spilling incident was hilarious.

  22. BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

    I know they’re married, but Jake and Robin made it official with a little help from their comedian friend. Robin’s gown is BEAUTIFUL!
    http://robincantrell.com/

    • Queen Neferteeri says:

      Yes, but [Redacted] with a mohawk looks like Travis Bickle

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

        I know. I think I’d add that to “my list”: Can’t sport a mohawk on our wedding day.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      She looks lovely here and the gown is elegant.

      He looks like a fucking crazy person, per usual.

      And I’m all for non-traditional weddings, but I think I would prefer mine to be officiated by someone who might have got up from his World of Warcraft game a full hour beforehand.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      http://indelibledance.com/

      For. Fucks. Sake.

      Put a shirt on, eat a sandwich and dial the zanykookymagicpixie bullshit down to at least 1980s Rainbow Brite CBS Special levels, thanks.

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

        LOL! I get what you mean. I’m in the camp that doesn’t understand dance at all. I just don’t see the point…and I work in the arts! However, I do appreciate the devotion and athleticism of dancers, and the fact that a gazillion people actually do understand and enjoy dance. I also don’t get yoga and detest coconut water; I am clearly an odd ball.

        Suffering through heatwave 2012 in NYC, I wish I were as tit-less as Robin or any dancer or runway model. Seeing that dance video of her leaping around without a top on seems to capture some joie de vivre me and my sweating 36D’s are missing this summer. I also wish I could wear a wedding gown like she had on. That was designed for the flat-chested and falls elegantly on her frame. That thing would hit my chest and cascade like a circus tent from there. Sigh.

  23. cola champagne says:

    [img]http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i147/dimplz73/imissjack.png[/img]

    God, I miss Jack.

    • cola champagne says:

      This is because I just read her blog, and if I could comment there, and they’d publish it, this is what I would write: “First, I think Jack should charge you for the number of times you say his name, which is laughably, more than you say your own name. Also, if you fall in love every year, and a few times a year, I’m not sure why he is being named when he is one in a sea of men you’ve fallen in love with. Maybe it’s time to move on?”

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      DEAD/SLAIN/RISEN/DEAD AGAIN!

  24. Records Custodian says:

    Like her mother, Julia will end up with a deeply closeted gay man.

    You go with what you know, and girls tend to marry their fathers.

    • Lazy and Crazy says:

      God I love you.

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      I don’t know—she’s nuts and there are very few candidates that I can think of that would tolerate her. And even if she did marry some pussy whipped dude, she is the Number 1!!! candidate for divorce within 5 years. I will BET on it!
      (And YES she’s a total BITCH for thinking that someone’s parents marital status is important to a match)
      #foreveralone
      #brokenengagement
      #liar
      #NPD

  25. newbie (picking a name: think I'll go with Long Island University ;) says:

    On the Jack front – anyone else notice that her list says: “Politically liberal / socially liberal?”

    There’s no reason to make that a two sided coin IF you want someone who’s an all around liberal.

    No doubt in my mind the list actually says “Politically Conservative / Socially Liberal”

    She just changed it last minute to draw EVEN MORE attention to the her life long (5 month, if that) love affair with a McCain

    • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

      From the archives:

      [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/snh1fp.jpg[/img]

      Donkey caucuses with the Ds. She spent her Georgetown years bitching about conservatives keeping her down. Sucks when she steps to close to your personal belief system, but it happens to all of us eventually.

      • Granny's Posthumous Nightgown says:

        too*

      • Albie Quirky says:

        She doesn’t have any political principles. Sure, she voted for Bammers, but what about the campaigning for Mark Kirk? She’s all over the map for whatever might get her attention.

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          Wasn’t Julia a Political Science major at Georgetown? she sure sleepwalked through that…. she has no principles or concept of anything at all – how does she expect to be a player in any of her myriad aspirational scenes when she can’t be bothered to develop any sort of working knowlege or critical thinking, including being a “dating expert.” At least the other mules in Bravo’s stable come out with cook books and cheapo alcohol brands and shit. Donkey can only be bothered to put on a tiara.

        • Queen Neferteeri says:

          Kirk is a close friend of Petey.

      • The_Manta says:

        Except when she votes for Republican senator Mark Kirk (and attends his victory rally)

        • Albie Quirky says:

          And campaigns for him. But apparently that doesn’t count!

          Neither Republicans nor Democrats want her. When reached for comment, Green Party presidential candidate Dr. Jill Stein said “Keep her away from us!” Gary Johnson says “No way!”

      • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

        [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/1zxs51u.png[/img]

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/25g6on8.png[/img]

      • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

        Shite. That should be “fauxto op”. Hard to keep my brain in Donkese.

  26. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Ratings, the show did decent, went up by 13% which mostly had to due with the fact that RHONY did so well. But still 50% of RHONY’s audience change the channel and the demo goes down .70 to .30.

    Miss Advised got .30 in the demo it’s first week and has never been able to do better than that.

  27. Lazy and Crazy says:

    Seriously? Still nothing on her no-show yesterday? It really must be bad if she’s gone into “little kid with their hands over their eyes thinking people can’t see them” mode.

    WHERE WAS A DONKEY YESTERDAY MORNING?

    I mean, we all know (she was hungover and she’s lazy), but shouldn’t she let all her new adoring Twatter fans know? They must have been so worried! It was worrisome!

  28. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Did D0nkey get bitch-slapped for copyright infringement, or is she simply incapable (as ‘a woman in tech’ !) of generating a valid URL?

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    So, @MensJournal isn’t exactly my usual reading material but … ummm … RYAN LOCHTE. I mean!!! Damnnnn. http://lockerz.com/s/228165599

    [Lockerz] Reasons why photos go missing:
    It was removed by the person who uploaded it
    The link you clicked was not valid
    The connection was lost during the file upload
    The photo contained nudity or SPAM
    The photo was a copyright violation

  29. Albie Quirky says:

    Did anyone archive the deleted Tweets about JellyD?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      No, but in the last thread, I mentioned that though she Tweeletes that they dated for three months, the girl who she tweeted it, tweets back to her, citing that Julia said three months.

      But someone might have it in their archives.

      Love that Jelly D only has to say the reason he was on Miss Advised (ad) is a long strange story…. not that he went on the show after the MAGICAL AND VERY SERIOUS three months he spent with a Donkey.

      Also interesting that NONE of his friends know about Julia or the show and yet… THEY WERE VERY SERIOUS according to a Donkey.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Here’s one where she makes sure everyone knows that Meghan McCain set her up with Pancackes..

      http://rebloggingdonk.com/2012/07/22/mitt-romney-just-got-caught-doing-what-donkeys-been-doing-for-months/#comment-387287

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        I like how she says they’ve been friends for years, as if they went to jr. high together or something. Didn’t Donkey just stalk her after the 2008 campaign. It might have been shortly before, but I know it was only after Megs was getting press.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I’m thinking I’d already found RBNS (that was late summer / early fall of ’09) well before D0nkey began twitter-stalking MegaTits …

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Looking for it now but may be remembering wrong — what’d it say, roughly, that they (Julia Allison & Jelly D … Oh hai, Google Alerts!) dated for three months?

  30. Peltergeist says:

    I have to say, Amy may be my favorite after that Tina Prey bitchfest. I’ve seen a lot of severely uptight people be the first ones to back down in a confrontation, and Amy stuck to her guns and announced “You’re crazy!” and moved on. If only Emily would tell that third-rate Hudderite Menace to fuck off, we’d be in business.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I am developing a soft spot for Amy. I want to My Fair Lady her now—teach her how to relax, help her fix her horrible accent, teach her about what people wear for salsa, that apple-picking isn’t dangerous, that venison isn’t a city in Italy, all that stuff.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        It would be fucking hilarious if I succeeded in transforming her into a chillax Cambridge hippie-dippie lady who smelled vaguely of weed and patchouli.

        Not that that’s me, but I know lots of ladies like that who would be glad to be my Colonel Pickering.

      • CaptainGary says:

        That accent is indeed the blurst – although I think it’s more of a case of Valley Girl-insprired slackjaw, where everything just comes out in a mush because she can’t seem to enunciate.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      http://lidsblog.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/bravo-in-my-hood/

      Tripped over this Googling to find out who the fuck Tina Prey is. “Scary Mandolph with far fewer brain cells and much greater delusions of cash” seems to be the answer. Team Amy all the way.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        Were you around, RRR, when we had a few Tina Pray Days here? You might have been taking a break from the cray. She’s incredible, and by incredible I mean oh my god.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          Was she actually on the site? She seems just fucking awful.

          I can’t hate on her for being solidly built, but she does herself no favors with the Oompa Loompa tanning job and the deep-fried hair.

          She comes across like Jimmy Fallon impersonating Jules Kirby.

      • Peltergeist says:

        Ugh. Greenwich people.

      • That blogger wants to like Julia. So confused…

    • Donkeycam Now says:

      Tina is very manly, both physically (broad shoulders, thick neck, square jaw etc) and manners wise. She must have been mistaken for a lesbian a million times.

      I am not surprised she went berserk mad when Amy said she had “masculine energy” but, at the same time, if it bothers her that much she should do something more productive than lashing out at strangers about it.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Maybe it’s just me, as many of my friends & are very direct w/ each other, but I may be forced to re-watch the last episode to see where & how I missed out on Menace being such a bad guy, cuz right now I’m just not getting it …

      • I don’t think he’s that bad, either. He can be dickish to Emily, but I’m pretty sure that’s just how they kid around with each other. He’s just immature, but I don’t see how he’s a bad person.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          One of my best friends (known him since Jr High*) & I are much worse w/ each other (he treats me like one of the guys; I treat him like one of the girls; come-to-jesus-talks; yada yada) but we’d each take a bullet for the other, this I know.

          *Maybe it’s cuz we’re older & more jaded than sensitive?

          • My friend Will and I are similar– we tease each other relentlessly, but we both have a deep respect and appreciation of each other. We’ve been friends since we were 15.

            When I watch the Menace-Emily interactions, cute and flirty comes to mind. I thought it wasn’t very nice when he called her a bad kisser on air, but I think he was probably just embarrassed that a hot lady was smoochin on him.

          • cola champagne says:

            I just felt that you have to pair people like that on the radio. Like Robin and Howard, Opie and Anthony. You have one outrageous person and a tolerant but not altogether evenly-keeled co-host.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            RE: the kissing comments, I wouldn’t be surprised if that wasn’t selective editing … they notoriously distort events to generate reactions.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think he’s smug and condescending to Emily off-camera.

        Also, he calls himself “Menace”.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Shit, I didn’t mean “off-camera” I meant “off-air.”

          So sorry, so fat, so drugged up right now.

          • The scene in Dubliners? I dunno, I think he’s jerky, like that’s his humor, but I don’t think he’s smug. He reminds me of the goofy kid who has a crush on the cute girl in class and doesn’t know how to express his affection in ways other than pulling her pigtails.

      • Peltergeist says:

        He just comes off as such a smug, immature leech to me. It’s not really one thing he said or did, he just seems like a total waste of space and contributes nothing to the Emily story line (or the Emily show). Total dead weight. Also, those glasses should be grounds for sterilization.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        He rarely has a nice thing to say to her. He’s always negative. Dude needs to look in the mirror and direct his criticism inward.

  31. Guam in the Shower says:

    Sorry, (so slow so fat?) but how do we know she overslept and missed the shoot yesterday?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      She wasn’t there, even though she was scheduled to be there, and she didn’t say where else she was. If she had been somewhere else that wasn’t shamefully in her own bed, she would have tweeted madly about it because it would make her seem important.

    • Donkeycam Now says:

      She stayed off Twitter for about 12 hrs.

      You know some serious sh-t went down if she didn’t tweet for that long.

  32. princess sparklefart says:

    Let’s be clear… these are the only items on the checklist that she really gives a shit about:

    1. Loves me unconditionally
    18. Hilarious / makes me laugh
    19. Understands me
    29. Makes me feel secure and loved
    30. Supports me emotionally
    34. Would make a great dad and wants to have kids (would have beautiful, smart kids with me!)
    37. Well-traveled / wants to travel with me (in style!)
    40. Brings out the best in me / makes me a better person
    42. Has a close knit, fun, intelligent, interesting family who loves me
    43. Is within five years of my age
    46. Always makes me feel special
    47. Pushes me to be my best self
    51. Teaches me interesting things every day
    60. Balanced — values his work, friends, and hobbies (but I am top priority!)
    71. Will support me in whatever I want to do

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      #30 Supports me financially

      FTFY

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Those are all reasonably normal things to want in a partner.

      But the thing is that she really cares more about the superficial things, like “Is connected” and “Drives a fast, sexy car” and “Has a full head of hair” and “Went to an Ivy League school” and “Parents are still married” and “Has never been married or engaged before” because she is a superficial asscandle.

      • newbie (picking a name: think I'll go with Long Island University ;) says:

        Didn’t she also change (what we all know was) “Ivy League School” to “Great School” ?

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Exactly. Is if she gives a shit if the family likes her. She just wants to be able to lie and say they do.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      I notice each of the items in this list have “me” or “I” in them..

  33. The Tortuous and the Hair says:

    Donk’s twitter exchange with Stephen Rodrick made me nostalgic for the mediabistro article: http://web.archive.org/web/20080512231028/http://mediabistro.com/articles/cache/a10131.asp

    Maybe there ought to be a section with links to Julia’s bad press (wasn’t that the name of a blog from years ago?) for the new cat ladies just joining us?

  34. anon says:

    Um, I found this… [I wasn’t even looking, honest]

    http://wwhlgifs.tumblr.com/ Julia’s is the 3rd.

  35. anon says:

    and her facebook addresses how Brit was cut from the episode…

  36. WhatDoesAGirlHaveToDoToGetAKissAroundHere says:

    Oh, he made her CRY. Can I use that excuse next time I want to pop someone in the face?
    **************************************
    Shirley Santiago ‏@babymita7103
    @JuliaAllison after the preview for next episode I am in immense agony to know why ur date gets slapped!!!! Yikes!

    2h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @babymita7103 – hahah oh well, don’t worry, he’s fine ;-)

    Shirley Santiago ‏@babymita7103
    RT”@babymita7103 – hahah oh well, don’t worry, he’s fine ;-)” ohhh ok then good to know. But he better not have made u cry :( @JuliaAllison

    1h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @babymita7103 – oh he DEFINITELY made me cry.

  37. Denise says:

    OK, I’m not a troll. I’m not being aggressive. I’m just honestly asking a question.

    Why do you all dislike / hate her so much?
    What’s with the donkey comments? her teeth? her laugh?

    I can see that she’s a media whore which I never knew until I got here. I had no idea who she was. I get the McCain part of it and having to be removed from his house. But the rest of it?

    Just curious.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Click on “The Internet Never Forgets.” That should bring you up to speed.

  38. Denise says:

    Thanks. I could not find the starting point to get me to the beginning.

Comments are closed.