Julie Having Nightmares About Being Andy Cohen-ed

I am trying to muster a shit to give about Donk right now. But for some reason, now that the rest of the world knows she’s completely deranged, I am finding her more boring than ever.

But she’s sure enthralled with herself!

From Facebook:

And then Sunday night I’m flying to NY for Monday’s Today Show appearance in the morning and Andy Cohen’s Watch What’s Happening Live in the evening. I already have had nightmares that I show up in a hideous green coat dress and I can’t think of anything to say and then Kathie & Hoda and I go get drunk together afterward.


And I find it strange that she loves this review of Miss Advised so much. What could it be about? Why does she love THIS particular take on the show so very much? Anyone? Bueller?? Bueller???


(For added delight, check out one of the comments from a supposed friend of Pancakes)

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312 Responses to Julie Having Nightmares About Being Andy Cohen-ed

  1. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    From Donkey’s favorite review: “Btw, she dated John McCain’s son and broke up with him because she didn’t think she could follow her dreams as a journalist and be a military wife… I really, really praise her for that!”

    Such an independent, feminist woman!

  2. The Final Rose says:

    The only thing I take away from the Trashy Sex review is that Julia used to have eyes.

  3. vapidcunts says:

    The Sexy Trash girls are at least living up to half their blog name. And I’m seriously disturbed that they may not be joking about their description of Julia…? Maybe they’re trolling? (I realize this is highly unlikely, but it’s just too gross to think they’re not kidding.)

  4. Factory Seconds says:

    Can’t wait for Donks to swear on-air more than once!!

  5. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    “I am trying to muster a shit to give about Donk right now. But for some reason, now that the rest of the world knows she’s completely deranged, I am finding her more boring than ever.”

    You and me both, sister.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Indeed. I can’t put my finger on why, but, recently, boring Donkey is boring.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      It was more fun when it was our little secret, in our little basement, with our little kitties.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        hate to sound like a cranky old lady, but I agree.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          was thinking something similar yesterday myself. Watching her be exactly who I imagined her to be was sort of fun at first, and now it’s oddly meh.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        I think the boredom comes from the fact that nothing new is revealed. She is a mental patient who is a loser with guys because she is mentally aggressive.

        Since we have now seen her fail whale with three guys in a row, we know she’s never going to end up with anyone so we can even have the second act fun of her screwing it up, a la Pancakes (getting him drunk, breaking into his phone, emailing all the women in his life).


      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        Mmmhm. Donkey overload.

    • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

      I’ve always tuned in to this shitshow (her life, that is, not RBD) to see if she’ll ever change her ways. To me, it seemed like she was constantly on the cusp of a revelation, but would then pull away. Then she’d make like she was close to getting it, then would fail again. I always watched to see if she’d make it.

      The Bravo shitshow, however, has shown me that no, she will not (nor does she even want to) change. Ever. I just couldn’t believe someone would be quite so happy to suck at life as much as she does. Boy was I wrong.

      So, yeah, it’s like Bravo has given away the ending. Thanks! A spoiler warning would have been nice.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        It is to motherfucking laugh if this show gets picked up for a second season. She will be so thrilled with herself. Because it’s such a strong selling point when you’re on a husband hunt — to tell potential victims that you’ve starred for two seasons on a reality show about being too much of a crazy cunt to get beyond a couple of dates.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          This is what I don’t get – her #1 goal IN LIFE is to snag a man with a shit ton of money… no man worth is salt is going to want her when she keeps exposing herself as stark raving mad!

          Can you imagine how much shit a guy would get for dating a bloated faced mental patient???

          That said… let it unfold… let it unfold indeed!

          • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

            Unless she snags a man who pitches Bravo a spin off show: The Crazy Life and Hijinks of Donks & Man.

            That’s her only hope, to get someone even more fame-crazed than she is.

          • Not! Random! says:

            Well, that kind of describes Jelly D, doesn’t it?

          • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:


        • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

          Surely if they did a second season ::shudder:: they’d get a new cast of loons. Who wants to watch these idiots make exactly the same mistake again and again and again. I’m already bored halfway through this season and I’m sure other nonRBDers are too.

          • donniedriveby says:

            I stopped putting the effort in to find it online.

          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            There are a host of grifters in L.A., not to mention wannabe “stars” running around town with their headshots and willing to do anything to get that SAG card. In other words, season two would be similar jackasses in the same phony situations. I’m barely making it through the first season and can’t imagine nodding off through a second.

      • juliaspublicist says:


        • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

          It’s hard to explain and I wanted to due a post about it, because reacting, chiefly to the show, and secondarily to Julia just doesn’t seem worth it at this point.

          It’s something like this: Julia has lived for years this sort of fabricated life that inadvertently exposed her craziness and stupidity and ineptitude. But then she took that completely fake (but totally real to her by this point) character she created to a television show that is soo edited and contrived to the point where we have this fake person living in this sort of fake reality, but now online she is sort of now living like the fake reality of the show is genuinely real. And now we are, like, three levels deep in the contrivance, and I think we’re being incepted, if that makes any sense.

          I just want to know if I am ever going to be able to see my kids again.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            I totally get what you’re saying.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            You make it sound like Inception, whatwith all the recursion and whatnot.

          • Cowboys & Brayliens says:


          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            While we’re on the topic of recursion, it would be a crime not to post one of Prof FC’s most ineffable masterpieces:


          • The Final Rose says:

            I am still relatively new here, but I think this explains what bothered me in the latest episode, and has continued to gnaw at me. She talks about her perfectionism keeping her from being her true self, but her true self is not a goofy, emotionally stunted girl who loves pink, glitter, and prom. It’s a nasty hose-beast who treats those around her poorly, who violates the privacy of the men she dates, and who lies and manipulates to get what she wants. Yes, the show has exposed a very sanitzied piece of her “crazy” but it’s the crazy she’s happy to exploit.

          • You think if we shoot ourselves in the head we’ll wake up from this dream?

          • newbie (picking a name: think I'll go with Long Island University ;) says:

            @ The Final Rose: that is a GREAT way of putting it. It’s crazy, but the word “sanitized” is perfect. It’s “adorable” crazy. Not actual crazy. The actual crazy happens off camera. Even still.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Doubt it, Tsaritsa. The part of Inception that is most relevant to Donkey is probably how Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex keeps stalking him. Try shooting yourself, and the next thing you know, celebrity newsweeklies addressed to Julia Allison will probably start being delivered to your apartment.

      • mule on rouge says:

        You’ve summed up everything I’ve been feeling since the first Miss Advised episode. My curiosity has been satisfied, now that I’ve seen the lunacy up close. I’ve seen all she has to offer and it’s always the same shit, different face. She LOVES being crazy. Unfortunately, her particular brand of crazy is so gregdamn predictable and DULL.

        • mcakez says:

          I’ve been feeling the same way. She is especially boring when she is actually getting the attention she feels she deserves.

          I wonder if this is the end, or if she will go right back in to the insanity to which we’ve become accustomed after the show ends and her two month attention high dries up?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Yes. I feel that that is when the big Craysplosion will happen, between August 6 (last show) and August 27 (Burning Man).

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Yes, when she realizes that the Miss Advised gig has left her where she began: foreveralone & foreverunemployed.

      • Donkeycam now! says:

        The problem is that fiction, in general, and Hollywood in particular has trained us to expect a resolution to any conflict.

        If your life sucks, you will have an epiphany that will change you forever or you will commit suicide or something. If you are an addict, you will either recover or die. If you have relationship issues, they will be solved with just one heart-to-heart talk with your significant other or a mad dash to the airport when they are just about to leave you.

        But real life is quite different and most people just put up with shitty lives, and addictions, and bad marriages and they just manage the situation the best they can, and sometimes it sucks and sometimes it is good but it never gets “resolved”.

        As per Donks, her craziness is not that bad that law enforcement will get involved, so she will probably just carry on, going through BFFs every couple of months, and a lot of first dates, with increasingly creepy, older, undesirable, guys, and her face will get weirder and weirder and her cackling laughter will get louder until she is just one shrieking shrivelled lonely muppet that nobody finds funny anymore.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          There has been no happy ending for the two JAs in my life. They have refused therapy, to grow up, change, take personal responsibility for their chronic asshole behavior, apologize to the legions of people they have hurt and fucked over. They are miserable and angry at the world because nothing has “worked out” for them. They will die miserable and alone. I suspect she’s headed down the same path. For all her talk of New Age self-discovery, she never really changes and all she truly wants is for people to adore her for the insane lunatic that she is. That’s what plagues her most of all — that no one sees how awesome she is.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        It is boring. The show would benefit from interviewing “exes” and the guys she forces to kiss her on the show. I’m guessing the former can’t be done because they won’t sign releases. Why they don’t do the latter, though, I don’t know.

        As usual, I’m more interested in the people who enable her. She always exposes layer of the population I wouldn’t know existed, i.e. all the really stupid women who are twittering with her about “omg! I’m just like you! Tiaras rock!”

        • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

          wow… that is really insightful actually. you’ve just hit on how this show could actually be a little more entertaining – why just always focus it on their interpretation/framing of what happens/goes wrong in their relationships. b/c so far every date they go on that doesn’t work, it is just them saying, oh, that guy was weird/racist/douchie/ugly/etc…, just my dumb luck. it would be fantastic to have exit interviews with the guys where they can share why they think it didn’t work (cookoo, needy, busted, etc…)

      • bitchface says:

        this comment made me laugh (thanks, was eating granola at the time)

    • Restylame says:


  6. JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

    What actually happens on Watch What Happens Live? (I’ve never seen the show, yet strangely I’m able to get the name right, unlike Dimwit the Donkey).

    Is it going to be a half hour of Donks mugging for the cameras and blaming everyone and everything for her sad, desperate, emotionally stunted behavior? If so, UGH!

    More importantly, which costume will she choose. Easter Whore? Pretty Pink Pelty Princess? New York Library Gown? Or, and I really hope it’s this, Burning Man stripper?

    • Onocentaur says:

      I imagine something close to her pre-prom date outfit. Hooker boots are on standby.

    • The Final Rose says:

      There are drinking games, reader questions, and clips. Donkey will not do well.

      • helobabe says:

        Yeah, she’s going to be out-of-control vying for attention. I really wish people would call in and tweet an overwhelming amount of questions for only the other two.

        • Should we organize a Twitter bomb? We can all tweet questions at Andy for JA to answer. I’m pretty sure he vets the tweets he reads before going on air, but I’m sure one of us can sneak something in there. Could be hilarious.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            We generally don’t advocate poking the beast because it gives her “I am a victim” ammunition but then again it’s a free country and she’s on the teevees now.

            I never saw this comment. What comment?

          • Yeah, I don’t want to summon the victim card, but it would be funny to ask a bunch of seemingly innocuous questions that we know will rattle her donkey cage a little.

          • helobabe says:

            I personally think it is much funnier when she is ignored. You know that’s her worst nightmare. I meant send in questions for Emily and Amy while Donkey has to sit there doing all the stupid shit she does when she tries to pretend she is listening but is really just waiting for a moment to jump in for attention.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Absolutely bang on. Yes, if there’s any kind of Twitter-bombing, ask only questions of the other two and watch her try to bray her way into their answers. Amy will cut a bitch.

          • Oh, that’s EVEN BETTER. Play up her NPD.

            I’m gonna start tweeting Andy about how Emily is my favorite on the show and if they do a spin-off of the show CAN THEY PLEASE JUST MAKE IT ABOUT EMILY?!!?!?!?

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        You better believe her people are working 24/7 trying to get her on Jimmy Fallon.

        • Prof. F Camping says:

          her people?!


          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            Hahahahahahahahah hysterical!

            Just know, if she’s not on Fallon, someone is being screamed at.

      • idiotbox says:

        Mark my words, fatties: Julia will make an oopsie and forget to “plea the fifth” to all the questions Cohen asks. It will go someothing like: name-drop, name-drop winky-wink hinty-hint

  7. Prof. F Camping says:

    hideous green coat dress, you say?


    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Isn’t that Betty, who was in the Broadway production of Oklahoma in 1953? Looking good for 80!

    • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

      Eww. I would ask why, but I know why.

    • Freeloading Musketeers says:

      That face is going to give me nightmares tonight.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Her left leg looks like it is about to snap.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      It’s the Gregdamn Christmas coat. Even her parents think she looks like a fool in that matchy matchy getup.

    • JFA says:

      Green sparkly shoes (didn’t a man who brought her to paris buy her those, in Paris where he brought her? She was brought to Paris) and red testicle bag. I classic.

  8. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    I love that comment from Pancakes’ friend. Lulz.

    Other than that, yeah, she is so fucking boring.

  9. virgil reid says:

    i like how they use a picture of her face from five years ago.

  10. For serious??? says:

    Watching PROM!! Episode now. It’s just…ridiculous. She is pathetic. The cursing is so very Kate Middleton. Calling him a “kid”? She is a nutcase.

    How can her family watch this and not put her in inpatient care is just beyond me.

  11. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    So I am skimming the episode finally. I just have to ask. Who is this Jessica person. She is an American Hero.


    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Julia: “You are a mere accessory, sir.” I don’t think Julia has ever said anything truer.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      What in the Lucite is she wearing on her feet during the prom date?

      • Dyspeptic says:

        Curse me for knowing this, but those are the Betsy Johnson heels she wore at the next-to-last bicoastal birthcray. To go with the Betsy Johnson poufy pink cotton candy explosion. Not sure if they are made by Betsy Johnson or were just at one of her shops, or showroom, or what. But it’s part of a whole gregdamn ensemble.

        • JFA says:

          IT’s scary how many of her dresses and shoes I recognized during the closet scene of the latest episode. I even spied those hideous pink platform booties she wore once to FW.

          • Freeloading Musketeers says:

            Yeah me too. I also felt that knowing the background behind the clothes made her deceit obvious. She treated those dresses like they were all from when she was much younger and in high school, when most were actually just from a few years ago. When she put on the pink one from her 30th(? I think) birthday, and she said “I KNOW, RIGHT!” in response to her “friend’s” reaction, I couldn’t tell if she was trying to play off how crazy it was with a “can you believe I wore this when I was younger” attitude, or if she thought the woman was impressed with it, and it was more of an “I know, right. This dress is amazing.”

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      Finally, Tina Pray is AWESOME! So much camp! Give that bitch a show!

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        I watched the Tina Pray promo and all I thought was OH FUCK YEAH!!!!! This might actually turn around the show – or it’s going to make Tina/Amy stars and highlight how boring as shit the rest of it is.

        Tina sure makes Amy look spunky… didn’t know Amy could get her back up, what with her lack of cheese burgers and such.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          I have a hunch Tina Pray will chew Amy Laurent up & spit her out in the general direction of Bellevue Psychiatric Ward.

          Anyone else thinking that Tina Prey may be the bridge to a 2nd season? As in being the token badass who comes along to tell ’em all why they’re 4EverAlone’s?

          This show doesn’t stand a chance w/out drama …

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      This Jessica person seems to hate Donkey as much as Little Julia does. Do we know who she is? I laughed when Donkey said that Jessica was a new friend she met in LA because she forgot to add that all of her old friends hate her.

      Dear Greg, she is so fucking loud. Why is she always yelling?

      • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

        See, this right here is number one reason I can’t watch Donkey on screen. She’s the loudest cretin ever. No worries though, yelling and braying goes very nicely with shitloads of Chopin and pink sparkle and tiaras. Girly girl princess, pure class. Men love that!

  12. Cocoloco says:

    I’m too tired to write about what I really think of the crazy trick but I LOVE your site. You cover each and every one of her annoying disorders in detail. I was waiting for one of the “Bravo witch doctors” to bash her head into a door in the hopes of bringing even a glimmer of self awareness into this basket case’s world. She sets all women back 100 years with her crazy making.

  13. Cocoloco says:

    Could someone please explain to me how many panels they had to add to the “prom” dress to squeeze her into it and did she really think we bought that she hadn’t tried it on since prom? The camera may add 10 lbs but not 4o. I’m sure greets the fed ex guy with that thing on daily.

    • JFA says:

      Shut right up! She hasn’t tried it on since she was 18! It just fit like a glove somehow, even though she’s gained 30 pounds since then! I think it was MAGIC. Prom is MAGIC.

      • Cocoloco says:

        And she was trying on each and every other dress she had BUT not that one? If you’re going to lie at least take the time to plot a plausible one, right? Weird she mentions the magic of prom a thousand times but there is no mention of a second date. Bravo producers already have blood on their hands can they afford to keep this loon on the air? They have psych evals since Russell Armstrong’s suicide how did she pass? Dr. Phil, Dr. Drew and the Bravo janitor could all see she’s not fit for tv.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Unless it has an elasticized bodice, that was the biggest bullshit moment of the whole show. If she couldn’t squeeze into some she wore two years ago, why are we supposed to believe she squeezed into one from 40 pounds ago?

  14. Who do you think you are? says:

    While watching this episode, I had a feeling that made me uncomfortable and now I’ve finally put my finger on it: this “authenticity” business has allowed Donkey to own her crazy, and that’s something that many of us at one time or another actually argued for. One of Donkey’s (many) frustrating and annoying traits is that she thinks that (or, at least, conveys) she’s hot shit. This is why the first episodes were so painful – her toolishness so canklehausen-y because she was completely blind to what a demented try-hard she was. Now that she’s at least appearing to own her real self, it’s a little refreshing, I have to say. I believe she was actually having fun and Jelly D seemed to be a pretty good sport (though she got lucky there).

    But there’s a big fucking However. One of the reasons why I think this Donkey show is boring as shit is that her lies fly by unchecked and this level of cray cray wears thin, fast, for those of us who would never be caught dead behaving as she does. I think it’s the behind-the-scenes fuckery that most delights us – the anon tips telling us what really happened, revealing the authentic asshole that lies one layer deeper than the authentic 12 year old mental princess. I, for one, would pay money to have her get her comeuppance for all the shitty things she’s done to people. For now, we only have her acting like a loud, embarrassing Donkey and, unfortunately, the experts she hires (maybe with the exception of Annie Lalalalalala) have no view of what a dick she is.

    • 11th Wang says:

      For Donkey, there is no “authentic self.” There is only a shattered self and a parade of masks and costumes.

      There is no “real self” hiding in there, it is completely and totally shattered; she has no fucking idea who she is. She has no interests and no direction other than self-preservation in the form of wallet-chasing and role playing.

      Remember when Lala told her to be authentic, she responded by asking, “Then who do you want me to be?”

      Notice the “who do you want” part of that sentence.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Her real self is just a shallow, spoiled, entitled asshole who’s in love with herself. And obviously no one likes that, so she doesn’t know what to do. Change? Nahhhh … she loves herself too completely to truly want to change. Reinvent herself in order to lure a man? Trying to make like she’s doing that, but the real her keeps re-emerging, so that doesn’t work either.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          What if yourself was a shallow, spoiled, entitled asshole who’s in love with herself?

      • Dyspeptic says:

        Wang, Julia’s “Then who do you want me to be?” in response to Lala’s authenticity urgings made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

        There was a point in my career (before I retreated to my dust-bunnied basement) when I wrote long-form profiles. And in spending time with my subjects there often would come a moment like that: a prickle like infinitesimal rodents (chinchillas, maybe; or marmots) running up my spine. The quote that said it all. “Then who do you want me to be?”

        The parade of masks and costumes I’ve watched for years now just billboards that dynamic. It goes deeper than a stunted tween playing dress up, and where once Julia’s cosplay seemed hilarious to me, now it’s kinda scary.

    • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

      We’re looking through a glass onion here.

  15. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    Dear @BravoAndy & @BravoTV:

    Please ask Julia Allison Baugher about:
    1] The Lost Year at Indiana University
    2] The calf implants
    3] G-F grilled-cheese sammies from food trucks
    4] Who she dumped @LillyDog on this time
    5] Hacking into Jack McCain’s phone & email
    6] Cameo appearance of [Jordacted’s] tiara


  16. TAILFEATHER says:

    At the risk of sounding like I live under a rock, I beg of you all thistle questions: who is this person, Julia Allison? How do you know who in tarnation she is? I have only just seen her on this new show. Is she someone I SHOULD know for some reason? I know she has sparked a great deal of controversy. Case in point- this blog. Please, do tell. I’m all ears, well, eyes. Thanks.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:
      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        (We need a “NEW HERE?” tab ) 🙂

        • Cocoloco says:

          Thank you all for being kind to the new ones like myself. I caught the Bravo show purely by accident and was appalled at all three women’s behavior. I actually wanted to throw a shoe at the tv but they weren’t worth the effort. When I saw her obviously lie about her relationship’s end with Jack McCain it piqued my interest. I (was one of a million people) who “helped” Cindy McCain in the Valley during her perscription drug days (like when she pee’d in a fitting room because the bathroom was too far away). I cannot imagine Cindy was ever ok with Julia in their lives. Looking forward to reading the links you all posted below.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Wow. Are you Roberta?

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Part of me wants to hear more of that Cindy McCain story, & part of me thinks I’m better of not knowing …

            Welcome to the tribe.

          • Cocoloco says:

            I’m sorry, I’m not Roberta. Not much more to tell. This was 100 years ago (when I was in college @ ASU) She would just walk around the store in a daze and wasn’t friendly (I’d assumed or rather was “informed it was the drugs). Her people were always making excuses for her behavior. Management would come around after her visit and “suggest” that no one talk about what they’d seen. She should have been thankful the internet was prevalent. Just with the limited interaction I with her I would assume she would have found Julia to be too pedestrian for her son. I’d actually agree from what I’ve seen of her.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      And this re: her romantic history for the past four years or so.


  17. TAILFEATHER says:

    Sorry, GD autocorrect! It’s THESE questions. Thistle? Jeez.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      you’ll find we kind of like typos here for the amusement they often provide. The more Freudian the slip, the better. Feel free to relax.

    • melting marionette says:

      Welcome Tailfeather!

      I actually like “thistle” questions better. Pointy and prickly rules here!

  18. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    She pulled this exact move on the wine & cheese Grope-on date with that other guy too. Trap them in a confined space and force them to deal with your hooves in their lap.
    You can wrap it up in any kind of theme date package you want, doesn’t change a thing about the controlling, aggressive, demanding, behavior underneath it all.


    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      If the genders were reversed in this show, it would get pulled off the air amid howls of protest because it is essentially celebrating a predatory, would-be date rapist.

      • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

        You’re so right, Jacy.
        When she jumps on that guy in the first episode, the male equivalent would be pinning some girl down on a couch and physically forcing her to kiss you.
        Same thing with what’s-his-face in the first limo. If that was a guy putting a woman in such an uncomfortable position, we’d all be applauding when she told the driver to pull over and kicked his ass out. (And cue the tearful, “I really felt vulnerable and unsafe” confessional afterward. That’s not an option for the guys.)
        With JellyD, she finagles a kiss while standing in the limo roof (ugh) and then wants “more”. He’s clearly not into her, tries to put her off, “greedy”, and then later she demands he kiss her goodnight at the drop-off location.
        If a guy did that and any of women on this show let him get away with it, audience would all be like, what the hell kind of date rapers are these losers? But with Julia, they identify and applaud?
        The dates she’s had have been good sports before running into the night screaming, and what choice do they have I guess. But if the genders were reversed … ya, there’d be hell to pay.

        • mcakez says:

          I asked dudebrah about this whole scene, because he was actually almost date raped by a girl in college (she was very aggressive so he made out with her a bit, then she pulled off his pants while he protested and she tried to jam it in despite him saying no repeatedly. At that point he pushed her off and bailed).

          He said that he finds her aggressive behavior kind of gross, but that he still feels that gender switching the scenario to be a different game just because of the physical strength element. He can kind of look back and shake his head and laugh about his situation specifically because he might have been victimized, but wasn’t, simply for the fact that he still had brawn on his side. He recognizes that had he been a girl, his situation would not have had a happy ending. He stressed that he wasn’t trying to trivialize how men can be raped/molested, but rather he doesn’t want to diminish the very real threat and physical intimidation that pose a horrible innate truth that women live with every day. I hope that makes sense.

          That being said, he was more offended by it when he found out she made the “I rented a limo, took you to a winery, you owe me” kind of comment, specifically because that kind of transactional pressure incourages the same rape-culture he worries about. To him, that was worse than her physical aggression, and altered the entire encounter. It becomes the difference between begging for a kiss vs. validating aggression and a sense of entitlement – things that serve to reinforce rape-culture.

          Hope all that makes sense – I’m typing from my iPad, and it makes it a little more difficult for me to organize and edit. Just thought the insight of a dude who has been on the receiving end of sexual aggression was interesting.

          • Barking Mad says:

            I am overwhelmed with dudebrah love. He is so exactly right about the whole situation. I also found the “you owe me” horrible.

          • Her aggression was off-putting, but the “you owe me” line was horrible.

            She should really just find a gigolo who will tell her everything she wants to hear and will submit to her brays.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      The moment Jelly Donut screams for his mother is priceless …

    • MY Beach Home says:

      What the fuck with this purse? Of all the tacky pink princess bullshit she is showcasing on this show in her room, closet, bathroom, etc., it is this that I find most mortifying. It looks like a bag that a 5 year old girl would use to cart her shit to and from dance lessons or gymnastics. What in the actual fuck is she thinking, miss fashion week correspondent? A fucking pink heart shaped purse?

      • Cola chamPagne says:

        I think she really believes she’s going to create a cult of personality. She’s been trying to become a cult figure for years. The problem with her is that she’s not original. She’s everything people hate about Americans. Generic, homogenous, and te result of mall culture. No one wants to be that.
        If I were her, I’d clean out my entire closet, home, beg Tim Gunn to make an appearance and have Jeff (Flipping Out) restyle my home, Tabitha do my hair, and Jackie Warner be my personal trainer. They are Bravo veterans. They can call the show “Making over Julia” and it would be like an all star reunion. Just pitch it, girl.

        • JFA says:

          This times a million. After watching most of the latest episode last night – you can just see how fucking hard she is trying to make herself a character. Except newsflahs asshole, you are the tritest, most insignicant boring trainwreck piece of shit dull person imaginable. “OH! I love PROMS!!!!!!1 And I went to Georgetown! And I love proms!!!! I dated Jack McCain” Holy fuck no one cares. She really has no clue how much of a boring joke she is to anyone with half a brain.

          • cola champagne says:

            And of all things, prom. Who is she, Molly Ringwald? No one cares about prom! My svhool didn’t even have one. We voted AGAINST it. Never regretted it. I think going to 50 million weddings after more than made up for it. UGH! A prom is just a PARTY. It’s a PARTY.

          • JFA says:

            She is 31. I repeat. Bitch is 31. I would say about 75%, conservatively speaking, of the population doesn’t give a shit about prom even when it’s their own fucking prom and they are 17 years old. She thinks this is just a brilliant, hilarious and quirky quality to play up.

            I also loved that line about how she was SO BORED with normal dates and was going to be herself for a change. RIIIIIGHT. Because you’ve NEVER demanded in the past that men treat you like a spoiled shallow little princess. I guess all those Prom King dates never happened.

            This bitch, and the Amy lizard woman – they don’t get it. The world, and men, don’t exist to treat you like special fucking snowflakes. Stop being such demanding cunts and you might just have fun and, I don’t know, meet someone who actually likes you (extreme long shot). It’s just a fucking date. Throw on some jeans and get a goddamn drink. You need a stylist to dress you for a date and you are a matchmaker? You need to rent a limo for not one but two first dates in a row? You expect men to pay for you and you have a 73 point checklist? Someone doesn’t text you in a day and you freak out on them even though you’ve known them for 5 seconds? The sense of entitlement with these witches is staggering.

          • JFA says:

            Wow sorry for the novel long rant.

          • cola champagne says:

            OMG between Amy and Julia’s heads, this is the reason they have no room for anyone in their lives. I’m sorry, be yourself is not always the best advice. If who you are is a girl with a pink bedroom, be an older version of yourself. These girls and their whininess is the reason they are so sad they had to hire dates.

            This schtick has never worked for her, but she’s out of ideas. She is trying to do that 13 going on 30 bit where Garner is enchanted with the idea of prom. But that was uh, a movie, and this is uh, real life. She should really get an image consultant and just quit with this crap.

          • Jacy says:

            JFA: That was one of your best rants ever.

      • Cocoloco says:

        Pseudo Chanel is worse than Pseudo intellect in my book!

    • Ignoramus with Pelts says:

      Love this!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Love it.

    • KS says:

      Unlike her other dates, at least they gave him a weapon (cane) to fend off her attacks.

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      1. She has no eyes.
      2. She doesn’t know how to ask questions that give the interviewee any room to answer much beyond yes or no.
      Dullest segment ever. Intel must be so proud.

      • Cola chamPagne says:

        It’s the false eyelashes. Also, by watching this clip, I have no clue what Techcrunch is about. Is it about plugs? Also, shirt too tight skirt too short, makeup too heavy and shoes too tacky. Get a friggin makeover!!!!!

        • Cola chamPagne says:

          Oh I just realized those are shorts. They’re still too tight.

          • JFA says:

            The shirt also clearly doesn’t fit her ham hock arms. #bodysnark SIZE UP LUNATIC. She was so proud of that outfit too. Glad I don’t have sound at work.

          • cola champagne says:

            Actually, this is the first time she didn’t yell or bray. There was a subdued cackle. Once.

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            It looks like she was injected with cottage cheese–so lumpy.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      This isn’t even about hating JA. She is awful. AWFUL. How does she get work?

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        She pretends to have 100K twitter followers and Intel is fooled into thinking she has some kind of LOLinfluence.

      • AFGHANI says:



    • Dr. Gary says:

      ‘Social Media Pet Peeves | Intel Survey by Julia Allison @ TechCrunch Disrupt 2012 in NYC’

      She is so awful on camera. Her face. My God, HER FACE. And WTF is that outfit? She looks like a midwestern mom who works for an insurance company, on her way to meet the girls from work for lunch.

      How does she keep getting these gigs? Blowjobs?

      • Dr. Gary says:

        The best part is when she walks in front of the ping pong table and the ping pong ball hits her. She pretends like it didn’t happen and just keeps talking.


    • Anon says:

      Her face! Her face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Can-Swiss says:

      I’m a video producer and I’ll be sure to use these as an example of what not to do. Everything about these is bad. And not just Julia (who is terrible as always).

    • donniedriveby says:

      Oh the irony…

      “1. 59% of people have a really big problem with people who complain online.
      2. 55% of people don’t like it when other post explicit or inappropriate photos.
      3. 53% of people are not a huge fan of people who post things that they consider to be private online.”

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I know — she commits all of them, except the ugly baby one because of course she’ll never have a baby at all.

        • Ignoramus with Pelts says:

          She looks really rough in the first frames where she is busy on her laptop ( lolz)

  19. Tailfeather says:

    Thanks to those who directed me to info on this truck, I mean trick. Wow? Sad? Scary?

    She does seem like a reprehensible person, but praytell why do people devote their valuable time and energy into bashing her? I’m not trolling, just asking. Please don’t take offense.

    Also, when you all answered my question, I really felt welcomed. I felt like I was visiting a church for the first time and parishioners were giving me tracts and inviting me to the next ice cream social. I digress. Anyway, thanks again for the intel.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I think simply because we’ve been watching the trainwreck for a long time and her shit show just gets more and more fascinating. She’s been starring in her own online reality show for years; we’re just the loyal audience. Like Curb Your Enthusiasm fans who hang in because they love to hate Larry, even if the show isn’t that great anymore.

      • fig says:

        That, and at least for me, it doesn’t really take much time or energy at all. Watching an actual soap would be a much bigger commitment.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      If we’re being honest, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t bash some person, place or thing … surely you haven’t ever declined to bash all that you bash because somewhere, someone isn’t going to ‘get it’ or fully agree w/ you …

      • Cocoloco says:

        I like that no one is trying to defend her. Most sites always have at least one screw ball trying to defend the indefensible. Good site.

  20. Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

    OT and it’s the same kind of OT, the Black Mirror miniseries, that I’ve already annoyed you all with more than once in the past coupld of days. So regretful, so morbidly obese, I’d love to take this to the forum, but, well. Jane, responding to your National Anthem question: at first I was all WTF THIS IS HORRIBLE in a horrible horror movie kind of way (I hate horror movies, and of course this was more, for lack of a better word, “poignant” than an average zombie nonsense). So physically sickening on several levels. I went and read one of the IMDB discussions, people were asking “would you do it” of course, which IMO is a tricky question in more than one way; it’s one thing to do it as a random nobody and another to do it as THE PRIME MINISTER, and of course it’s also something different to be forced to do it in (relative) privacy or to be forced to do it in front of millions and know there’s going to be a video evidence than will never go away. Then there’s the whole “never negotiate with terrorists” thing, of course.

    After a while, I’ve come to realize that perhaps an even more question is “would you watch it?” I really think I couldn’t, but it’s sort of hard to tell.

    Good Greg, I felt SO sorry for the poor guy. I really hope he never found out that the princess was actually released prior to “the indecent act.” I thought his wife was kind of a bitch, too, making it too much about here IMO. Of course, this is another thing that’s hard to judge when I’ve never been near a smiliar situation. On the other hand, as I keep thinking about it, I now think that ex post there should be a possibility for all involved to remember it with some kind of humor, but, well, then again.

    I certainly have more THOUGHTS about the episode, but I already feel guilty occupying Donkey space here. I’ll just say that I recommend the show to all, and whoever has seen it, I’d love to hear what you think.

    • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

      *making it too much about HER, not here, obviously. This is the second time within a week or so I’ve made this typo here. WTF.

    • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

      **Also, “perhaps an even more INTERESTING question,” not just “perhaps an even more question.” I clearly need to have my keyboard taken away.

    • Barking Mad says:

      Since you posted before I’ve realized that a friend has given me these episodes! She is a brit tv addict and is always eager to share/discuss. We are getting together this weekend, so I’ll make it a viewing party. Sounds like it’s good to have help to re-assemble your psyche after watching it!

      I’ve just read a description of the episode you mention, but what came to mind was the Kobayashi Maru – the Star Trek test situation with no good solution, where any action results in horrific consequences. Captain Kirk beats the test by hacking it and changing the parameters to make it winnable. I will watch it with this in mind. Is there a way to hack the situation?

      In the end, though I think your “even more question” might be the most relevant of all, and maybe the best take-away.

      Thanks for the pointer!

      • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

        Lulz, thanks, Barking, you are too kind. I’m PSYCHED to hear that you’re going to watch this thing soon, and I can’t wait to hear what you think. And I so totally recommend watching it with a kindred soul. I watched it alone and I’m (evidently) still traumatized. There were other humans in other rooms, but when I staggered toward them afterward and mumbled unintelligible things, they weren’t much help. And I have yet to find a RL acquaintance familiar with the series.

        I’m too much of a cultureless hick to know anything about Star Trek, but I think I understand what you’re talking about here. In the National Anthem, they do try to hack the situation, in a way that would make it much less horrible, but sadly it doesn’t work out, and IT’S OUR GLOBAL TECH SOCIETY’S FAULT. That only added to the trauma.

        I think it’s some really well done television.

    • mcakez says:

      I read a description that had a one minute clip along with it. It took fifteen seconds (of the poor, defenseless, cute little fluffy pig) for me to nope nope nope my way out of that page and decide I just can’t with that. That piggy can’t ‘find humor’ in it later.

      • Little Orphan Lilly says:

        This is going on a further tangent, but the next episode, “15 Million Merits,” really made me angry, and I’d be curious to see what other people think of it. I’ll try not to spoil it, but basically there’s a narrative arc around a central character we’re supposed to feel sorry for/sympathetic with, except the sad damaging thing that happens to him is that something truly horrific happens to the girl he likes. And once that happens she just disappears to lead an even more horrible existence, and presumably we’re supposed to continue focusing on his personal journey…I don’t know, I just found it really casually sexist, where women’s lives and bodies only exist to further a male story. But then, I am a humorless catlady, so it may just be me.

        • I agree, i was disappointed by 15 million merits, for those reasons and more. i guess we’re supposed to believe it was critical of the ‘society’ that made these the best possible choices, but i didn’t see much criticism, and what may have been there was overly broad. so much more could have been done/said. It was clumsy. Overall I suppose I have the same criticism of all three episodes.

      • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

        Yeah, good point, mcakez. *hangs head in shame*

        Lilly, I hear you, but the way I understood it, we ARE supposed to feel sympathetic with Abi as well. I don’t think the focus was totally on him, he was just used as a vehicle of the story that was about the whole mankind, sort of. But I’m also pretty dumb about these things.

        • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

          *”also” meaning that I’m dumb about many things, not “like you”

          • Little Orphan Lilly says:

            Heehee, no worries, didn’t read it that way. 🙂 And yeah, I do think we’re supposed to sympathise with Abi, but I just found it difficult to stay focused on this one guy’s struggle when all around him were women being exploited in even more horrific ways. Like oh, sorry, you had to watch the girl you have a crush on being semi-raped? HOW DIFFICULT FOR YOU. Plus there’s the whole other issue that the story arc for the dude is set in this dystopian near-future, but women being sucked into sexual exploitation because it’s their only path of extreme poverty? That happens. That is happening now. I don’t know, the topics are definitely things that turn me into a ball of rage so I’m very aware I’m not cutting the show any slack, but at the same time I don’t think it gave me any reason to.

  21. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    I just watched a video of Jelly Donut & … wow … dude is kind of “special”, ya know? I would say that he & Mulia Mallison belong together, but it looks like he’s more into pounding chairs than d0nkeys …

    • JFA says:

      I watched most of this week’s episode last night (finally got my cable box fixed and realized it’s on bravo in demand for any NYC time warner cable peeps). Anyhoo, it is my opinion that he is not hot at all. He is somewhat cute at times, at best. I guess that’s all she can get though so whatever. But he went fleeing into teh night too bad so sad.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        I think he’s homely. I hate his lashless buggy eyes. Donkey should lend him some of her eye-pelts.

        • JFA says:

          There is something bird-like about him. I mean he’s not fug or anything but just…not hot.

      • JFA says:

        HE seems very famewhorey too, which duh why else would anyone go on filmed “dates” with her at this point. Thought it was odd they didn’t mention at all that he is an aspiring musician (?). I love that limo convo about why he agreed to go on the date. Hmm…so hard to guess, why would someone agree to go on a date with a lunatic that is being filmed for tv, lemme think for a second here…must be he has a fetish for crazy assholes or something.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him. Remember, she went to SF and hung out with him. Also she rode her bike to some place in Los Angeles just to give him a hug. I’m SURE they filmed that.

        • JFA says:

          Yeah as I believe he is an aspiring musician but I’m too lazy to give a fuck and look it up…I’m sure there will be a scene of him serenading her with guitar. It will be the only reason he would have agreed to be on the show, but she will eat it up, forgetting it’s merely a self-promotion technique and instead believing he did it because he really really likes her.

          • JFA says:

            Okay I looked him up VERY briefly, can’t really watch his videos at work but…seems like he’s some sort of aspiring comedian? This is basically exactly the kind of guy she comes in her pants the most for – besides gazillionaire tech founders. Think (Redacted 1)/Toph types – cute-ish, smart, creative, hipstery. She desperately wants to be one of the cool girls, and she isn’t and never will be, but she wishes she had a College Humor guy type boyfriend. She will never, ever land a guy like this. They usually like girls with style and taste who actually do stuff.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Oh, we’re definitely in for that. Remember the sighing tweets about “I wish a certain musician were here to serenade me right now.”

          • Jacy says:

            Also — when she posted the photos of her in front of the piano on her FB page and started braying constantly about her love of music. So subtle.

          • Prof. F Camping says:


          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            I’m totally distracted by D0nkey’s hoof! First, there’s that weird indentation at her wrist, & then there’s The Knuckle That Ate Cincinnati …

            WHAT? is going on there?

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            So, as leaked to the mods, he did this to spotlight his music career – then why not Twat about it? Why is Jelly D radio silent about his Miss Advised (ad) appearance?

            Oh, we’re in for a treat next week – Toilet Julia will be banging on her casio.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          And they’ll always have New Year’s Eve!!!!

    • heddy says:

      That Jelly D video seems like a lame Ze Frank ripoff. I’m not impressed at all.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Well, there go those brain cells.

  22. virgil reid says:

    finally watched the episode and i just feel the gross feeling everyone else has.

    andrew comes off as very insincere and i dont know how she never picked up on that. the shifty eyes and body language say everything. he knew he had to play along to continue the reality tv exposure.

    amy is awful. the way she talks is so grating.

    • Peltergeist says:

      All of her “dates” are so clearly disgusted by her. On one hand, what shitty people to use someone just to be on a D-list embarassment of a show. On the other hand: karma time.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I’ll give that one guy who she ran circles around (literally… lol for days) a pass because he seemed really shocked and caught off guard by her but kind of tried to take the high road. The other guys knew exactly who she was and what she was about, so they’re just as repulsive as she is.

        • virgil reid says:

          i hate that i am a human being with feelings because it made me sort of feel bad for the fact she thinks jelly d is into her because of her kooky, crazy prom ways when reality he just closes his eyes really tight when he kisses her and reciprocates little to no physical touching back.

          i dont even see how she would be fuckable to him to be honest after seeing his youtube videos.

  23. Ignoramus with Pelts says:

    Hey catladies I’m in Paris! Since I had my kittens this is the first trip I’ve taken without them. Hotel has free wifi so I thought I’d check in on y’all! Hilarious comments as always. I’m still giggling about the gif up thread involving the limo.

  24. Dr. Gary says:

    Who the fuck thought having Julie do these Intel segments was a good idea? She is TERRIBLE. And her questions are LAME. Interviewing people about anxiety over finding a power outlet??? WHO CARES? This is definitely some stupid thing she thought of to ask people about.

    Outlet Anxiety | Intel Survey by Julia Allison @ TechCrunch Disrupt 2012 in NYC


    • Albie Quirky says:

      Oh, this is her Intel gig that she claimed to be making $100k for? Ha ha ha ha ha. Typical Julie maff—it’s more likely $10K if that.

      • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

        It sounds like they simply sponsored her to be at Disrupt, which she otherwise had no reason to attend beyond the Desperate Donkey Wallet Hunt.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        HaHa, yeah, riiiiight!

        $100k divided by the 40 cat ladies (D0nkey’s own 24 views donut count) who laid eyes on that trannywreck video comes out to $2,500 per view.

        Is if Intel would ever.

      • Barking Mad says:

        Yeah, since she is posting them on her personal youtube channel, we can assume Intel wasn’t interested in using them. Kind of like Fashion Week.

        Also she calls herself an “advisor” to Intel. LOLWUT?

      • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

        TechCrunch was bought by the Huffington Post/AOL not long ago iirc, and there was a massive shakeup and shake-out and exodus of talent. HuffPo famously doesn’t pay its contributors. Maybe Intel sponsored this horrid, amateurish segment with five dollars or something, but the idea of her getting a hundred grand or something is truly a laughable idea, and she is such a fucking liar.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Why would you include the people — almost all of them — who simply respond to your boring question in one-word answers? Hello??? Put the people on camera who actually have something to say. Oh yeah … no one cared about your stupid question, or you couldn’t be arsed to look for more people. Jesus. And Jesus, her right eye is almost completely invisible when you see her from the side in that clip.

  25. newbie (picking a name: think I'll go with Long Island University ;) says:

    Have you ever done a donkey’s romantic timeline? It is BEYOND confusing – and I can’t imagine that it would be beyond hilarious!

    • newbie (picking a name: think I'll go with Long Island University ;) says:

      “wouldn’t” not “would” – oops

      also those click bags (thought of it ’cause the pick of her in her “jeans” dating outfit caught my eye) are HIDEOUS!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I think we have. I think I linked to it upthread — sorry, reading this on my Berry.

      • newbie (picking a name: think I'll go with Long Island University ;) says:

        YAY!!! (sorry, was that too loud? I was watching Miss Advised and I forgot what normal human volume is supposed to sound like), thank you thank you (too much? how is one supposed to know…)

  26. KS says:

    Presented with comment, from her twitter..

    “I left LA at 5 am & just now arrived in San Jose for this weekend’s Tony Robbins Unleash The Power Within conference with @Meghan!!”

    Who has the bigger head, Donkey or Tony Robbins?

    • KS says:

      What Power Within does Julia have to release?

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Pent-up scheme juices will erupt!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          A volcano of scheme juices, chocolate, and Restylane.

          Now I am thinking of the baron in the Dune movie and feeling I’ll. Don’t Google it if you don’t already know.

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            oh, VOM IN THE SHOWER, Albie!
            ps. Sting was hot.

          • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

            I don’t (I haven’t seen the Dune), but I’m picturing Mr Creosote in the Meaning of Life. “And finally, a wafer-thin mint!”

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            god yes sting was sex on a suspensor.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Can’t wait for Julie to twitter-vom ‘inspirational’ quotes from the King of All Grifters.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      The contest between them is really about the teeth.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      She is all over the grifter circuit looking for a wallet, isn’t she?

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      thank god for dumb rich girls keeping scheisters in business.

  27. Guessing she loves that “review” because it basically licks the ass’s ass and says that she deserves a spin off show.


  28. Albie Quirky says:

    So, the pearls. Will she EVER stop wearing the damn pearls? I assume she’s trying to make them her signature piece or something, but they are so boring.

  29. Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

    O/T Was just thinking about the 80,000 twitter followers Donkey just bought in addition to the 20,000 I think can be safely assumed as purchased as well prior to this recent desperate ploy.
    It’s a perfect example of Miss Albertson getting exactly what she wants and illustrates just how superficial and impoverished her goals really are. She will never know how many people followed her because they are actually aware of who she is, for good or bad. It’s now just a fake meaningless number, bought and paid for.
    What a tragic phony.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Coincidentally enough, I came across / started perusing a “Tim Ferris: IAmA” on Reddit, & this comment jumped out at me:

      douchebag_investor 39 points 4 months ago
      One of the best things I learned from reading the 4HWW was how easy it is to pay workers in 3rd world countries to pad your Amazon reviews, whitewash your wikipedia profile so much that it looks like an advertisement, and create fraudulant reddit accounts expressly for the purspose of discussing Tim Ferriss articles.

      I also learned from Tim to invest in companies like Reputation Defender to minimize retaliation from internet vigilantes that attempt to expose him as a snake oil salesman.

      What D0nkey didn’t already know about shilling, she’s learning from the best.

      • mcakez says:

        Just scanning comments now, but I love how there was very little interest in his oh so generous offer to promote himself share his insight with his audience of adoring redditors. reddit has its flaws, but it is good about having a low bullshit tolerance. Thanks for the link, I suspect I will enjoy reading this.

      • mcakez says:

        OMG, when grifters collide! One of the top comments links to a New Yorker article about Ferris. In the third paragraph:

        I discovered that Reid Mihalko, who runs a sex-advice Web site called reidaboutsex.com—“What Tim Ferriss does for stuff, I do for sex”—has incredibly warm hands.

        Reid, if you will recall, is Miss Advised’s very own Alton Busey!

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:


          I confess, I didn’t get much further into the Ferrett post — kind of hard to believe a lot of what’s on there …

    • Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

      KK reports that Donkey wants Asha to intervene with RZ to get her back in her inner circle. JA is determined to have RZ help her increase the number of fb friends again, this time for the Miss Advised page. Asha has become close with RZ recently. This makes a Donkey jealous.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Delicious! I wondered why, since she has her Twitter rigged to increase 5,000 daily sometimes, she hasn’t done the same with FB… obviously some of those fans are bought, too, no?

        Julia’s has only increased 600 since the show started which also points to her Twitter bullshit.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:


  30. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    I’m guessing someone has an ax to grind because I cannot believe this would ever be true:


    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      We had actually heard it went beyond stripping and tipped her off to let her know someone was emailing us very seamy allegations about her.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Whoaaaa… I love that RBD was not only in the know but helped her out. I can’t imagine the things you guys know that we don’t.

      • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

        Good for you Jacy & JP! You know Julia would never have anyone’s back like that. Even her BFF sisters.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          It occurred to me that it actually might BE Julia for some reason that would have made sense only to her — along the lines of: “I want this to get out so I am the only America’s Sweetheart on this show!!!!!”

          Would anyone have put that past her? Not me. That’s another reason why we tipped Amy off.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Typical D0nkey M.O. to read RBD comments (people here rooting for Amy before her craziness was aired) & want to taint the picture …

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        You actually e-mailed Amy Laurent to tell her someone thinks she’s a whore?

        What possible reason could you have to do that?

        Obviously you think it’s bullshit, otherwise I assume you would post about it. But I don’t see why you’d pass on the tip to her.

        “Dear Amy. I write for that website that hates Julia. We all hate you too. Someone wrote us to tell us you take it up the asshole for money. Although we hate you, we thought you should know. Die screaming and have a nice day!”

        I don’t get it.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          Which, you know, whatever.

          But frankly I wouldn’t e-mail Amy anything helpful not related to fire safety. Like “Dear cast of Miss Advised: the studio is on fire. Please advance to nearest exit. Do not stop to check make-up in bathroom mirror.” Etc.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          She had been in touch with us previously about something. She runs a business and the nature of the allegation could have been pretty horrific for her, and the person wouldn’t let up. So yes, we let her know this “rumor” was out there and if it was getting sent to us, was probably getting sent to Bravo and other places. Sorry — next time we’ll check with you to make sure we get your approval about who we communicate with.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Communicate with whomever you like. With the above info (particularly the relentlessness of the tipster) it makes sense that you’d contact her. Without it, it seemed a bit out of the blue is all, considering your (laudable) no-poking-the-beast/s policy.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            I have to say I would think that would be an awkward e-mail. Did she thank you nicely or are you still experiencing strange pin-like pains at random intervals?

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            She thought it was funny and thanked us.

          • iblow4shoes says:

            I don’t see why stripping is such a shameful thing. It’s not like like she’s running for public office.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Huh! I have to give her credit for that. Her sense of humor does not translate well to the screen…

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:


            Yeah, I’ve had friends, male and female, who have stripped. In a professional environment, it’s a form of entertainment, nothing more. It sounds as if Jacy was getting news that it involved sexual transactions, though, and that’s were the whole “illegal” thing kicks in.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        Kudos & mucho respect for the RBD discretion shown.

    • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

      Damn, can’t open the site. Is the bravo star meant to be our girl Jules?

    • Bettie Page says:

      Why wouldn’t it be true? I remember the least likely stripper candidate at my alma mater stripping for a good three weeks when she needed to pay tuition.

      That said, back in the mid-late 1990s, the owners of DC’s Goodfellas also owned the Washington Sports gym franchise and would have what we referred to as “strippah hos” flirt with potential customers while giving them, read men, a tour of gym facilities. I don’t remember any Amy, but it’s been so long that I don’t remember any of the tour guides. However, if “Amy Laurent,” a name as phony as that of “Julia Allison,” was a DC stripper and/or gym huckster, certainly several people would remember her.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I can’t imagine what her routine would be like.

        She probably would carefully fold each article of clothing once she removed it.

        • Cocoloco says:

          The only thing that is inconsistent with a stripper profile for Amy is she is lacking the “daddy doesn’t love me tits” the bigger the implants the bigger the daddy issues-that is always my tip to male friends. Her tits should have their own zip code for the amount of insecurity we witnessed with Text-gate.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        A ‘made-up name’ is sounding very plausible, considering the lack of verifiable hx & especially an age confirmation … hmm …

        I went to HS w/ a girl who mutual guy friends came across in a strip club a couple of years after graduation … fast-forward: she’s now married to a preacher & has had a kid every year for more than a handful of years in a row. She’s one of my favorite people (very wise & non-judgmental).

    • mule on rouge says:

      In the second pic on The Dirty, is she standing in front of a mural of a giant schlong?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      OT, but that link sends my Avast anti-virus into ‘A MALICIOUS SITE!’ tailspin … anyone else get that from a different AV product? I was rather interested in reading it, gregdammit …

  31. Cocoloco says:

    Julia is the uncommon female sociopath (over 95% of sociaopaths are men). Here are the characteristics, and every characteristic applies to her (usually 5-8 are thought to be a postive diagnosis). She’s an off the chart sociopath!

    Glibness, superficial charm
    Manipulative-does not recognize rights of others
    Views people as victims or accomplices, accomplices will eventually be victims
    Verbal outbursts
    Pathological lying
    Lack of remorse, shame or guilt
    Lack of accountability
    Shallow emotions
    Poor behavioral controls
    Lack of realistic life plan; parasitic
    Creates hopelessness in the victim
    Creates unhappy unproductive work environment
    Motivation through fear
    Takes credit for other’s work-quick to place blame
    Demeaning and insulting
    Rarely challenged and prefers to work that way
    Unethical behavior

    • mcakez says:

      Cocoloco, may I just say that I find your evolution on the board today to be beautiful, and probably quite similar to the path many of us took.

      Step 1: “This woman seems horrible, but I am confused, because she is so insignificant, please direct me to more info?”
      Step 2: “Wow. She is worse than I imagined. I am still slightly confused, though, because it seems like a lot of hate to invest in one person. Would you explain a bit more?”
      Step 3: “I’ve now done some back reading. This person is a complete sociopath. Hello, community, I have arrived. Let the snarking begin!”

      As yet unfulfilled Step 4 = pick a Julia meme username (or not, but that tends to be the evolution), adopt 17 cats, buy stock in Cheetos, never leave the basement again after realizing the laughs and enjoying the great advice or OT tips offered in the community.

      Speaking of, I finally read ‘The Psychopath Test,’ as recommended here. What a great read! I downloaded it just before leaving for Vegas and couldn’t put it down until I’d finished. Thanks for the rec, catladies. I have ‘Gone Girl’ as my next endeavor into Catlady Book Club.

      • Cocoloco says:

        Hahah like a catterpillar to butterfuly you are correct on all steps mcakez! That’s why this site has be so helpful on my journey of orange tipped fingers. Still a few holes I’m working through(like was there a real mental breakdown? was this the site she was referring to on Miss Advise?) I think I may even have step 4 covered (Coco-for her fake chanel heart bag on Miss Advised Prom episode and loco cause she’s crazy!)
        I get a sense that she’d be really excited about possessing ALL the characteristics.

      • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

        To be honest, the witty comments, OT tips and book recommendations are pretty much why I can’t quit this site, despite the fact that Donkey pretty much bores me.

        Oh and the occasional tips offs from little birdies in the know – I love when we get those. THANK YOU TIPSTERS!! They always crack me up.

        But the community here? More addictive than cheetos.

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      To be fair to a Donkey, she doesn’t create an unhappy unproductive work environment because she doesn’t work.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      (Not really! I fully expect you to out-psycho La D0nk!)

      Views people as victims or accomplices, accomplices will eventually be victims

  32. acquabearing says:

    I’d like to share a little story. I was watching Bravo one day and got caught up in some other stuff. The program I was watching had long ended, and then Miss Advised came on. Was not paying attention at all. Looked up every once in awhile and wondered why I was too lazy to get up to get the remote, because it was awful. All of a sudden, Julia came on. I had never heard of her, and had never seen her before. It was the episode where she throws herself at the former college basketball player. I started paying attention. I cannot explain to you what went through my brain as I soaked this in. I felt for the entire episode that my whole body was clenched in an anxiety-ridden cringe that I had never experienced before. Sadly, but fascinatingly, I started at Bravo’s site to see what the hell this was all about. Then I found her on twitter. Then I checked Comcast’s “On Demand” and saw that all the episodes were listed. For the last 2 days, I have schooled myself on knowing where this person came from and why I was being exposed to her. I have watched every episode (fast forwarding through anything having to do with Amy or Emily) and I am absolutely stunned at this discovery. After watching the last episode, I looked up this website. Without taking up much more of your time, let me just say I feel the very same way you guys do. I am ashamed that I care at all, and that aside, this is the best fucking thing that’s happened to me this week. Month. Life?

    • Cocoloco says:

      Same story for me, and I will say that everyone has been very welcoming, kind and exercised patience with a million and one questions I have. Bravo has to be on a death wish airing this. The women of Miss Advised are a trifecta of trouble that I can only see ending with a suicide pact for a season finale.

      • acquabearing says:

        I’d love to see a show that chronicles only her and Brooks Ayers from RHOC. That’s it.

        • helobabe says:

          LOL that made me giggle. That would be fun indeed. Part 2 of the reunion was interesting – wish they had fleshed out a bit more with him!

          • acquabearing says:

            I was pissed that he only sat there for 3 minutes! That wasn’t even an appetizer! Brooks needs to go down in flames and shipped back to Tupelo in dog crate! I didn’t think anyone could annoy me more until I entered the labyrinth of Julia.

          • Cocoloco says:

            I was mad the 20/20 show aired after the reunion show was taped.

        • solidarity cat says:

          This would be must see teevees.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      Welcome. please remember that she is an asshole. And that she never lived with not discussed marriage with Jack McCain. Not ever.

    • CDB says:

      “my whole body was clenched in an anxiety-ridden cringe that I had never experienced before” Classic case of Cankleshausen. You need the ointment and Dr. Gary ….STAT>

      • Pink Palatian says:

        OT: my temporary couch-digs in NYC are with a friend of mine whose monogram is “CDB” — and he has monogrammed towels and luggage. Every time I see the monogram, I think of you. #deepRBDthoughts

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      We love you. Welcome to the basement!

    • solidarity cat says:


  33. Pink Palatian says:

    Did anyone else notice that she had her feet on her “happiness coach”‘s lap at the end of their scene together? Yes, because I always put my feet in the laps of people offering me professional advice. :/

    • acquabearing says:

      I did notice!! I had left my body at this point, though.

      • BeepBeepBoopBeepBeep. I Am A Robot. says:

        “I had left my body at this point” I am stealing that line! Too funny!!!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I did! And he had his hand on her hoof! And Bravo made sure we saw that. Which makes me believe she boned him, and he’s probably married or something which is why it was left alone.

      • solidarity cat says:

        WTF? I just checked out the screengrab of this and it’s so weird. In no universe is it normal for your therapist to pat your feet.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Well, he’s a “mind architect” not an actual therapist. I doubt the American Mind Architectural Association has a sexual ethics policy?

          lol grifters

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            He is in fact a Mine Architect and was interested in this show when he heard it featured three bottomless pits.

        • I don’t even like men I’m dating or engaged/married to to touch my feet when they’ve been freshly washed. The thought of meeting someone for the FIRST TIME and having that go down is making the canklehausen affect my brain.

  34. Cocoloco says:

    How is it in a few pictures (google images), dare I say, she looks almost attractive (lingerie sitting on old guys lap)-maybe at the Playboy Candyland Party? Maybe on Jewish Camp retreat? Maybe her college interview? Did she have a nose “candy” problem?

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Like most people, with professional lighting and wardrobe she looks fine, and she started out quite cute. I might be the only one who thought she was at her best with nose #1, which gave her that gamine-next-door look.

      Having seen her relatively recently I think stress, lack of sleep, poor diet and related choices are taking their toll as well as age-related things that affect everybody. Also, certain, um, cosmetic procedures were probably better left undone.

      She would look okay if she scraped off 20 pounds of make-up and jewelry and kept her mouth shut when being photographed.

      Don’t hold your breath.

  35. NonSobriety says:

    It’s Watch What Happens Live not Watch What’s Happening Live, you fucktard idiot.

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