Today in “Shut the hell up:”
But it should be. It should be. RT
@AriMelber: This is not a cheerocracy.
So what else did Julia Allison do this weekend? Well, she showed Miss Advised viewers her old nose.
She also called her multiple prom-themed dates “prom experiences,” and crossed that thin line between “endearingly adorable” and “insane, impotence-inducing harpy.”
It is clear to me now that my prom experiences consisted of an endless series of truly questionable “creative up-dos.”
Honey, every single one of your hairstyles is questionable.
On a related note: Fun Fact! For you lovers of Greek mythology — and I know there is at least one of you — here’s a bit of trivia. Priapus, god of THE DICK, lost his hard-on upon hearing the brays of a donkey when he was trying to rape some nymph! A rape-hating donkey! It is to draw parallels! WHY DO MYTHOLOGICAL DEITIES STILL RAPE WOMEN?!?!?
Moving along, she also spent the weekend making her meemaw’s trip to Elysium all about her.
I went over to my Grandmother’s home with my father to go through her clothing today. Heartbreaking. I miss her so much.
@JuliaAllison Oh sweetie. Is this your grandmother we saw in episode one? Big hugs to you. @TheBravoBitch – yes… It seems like we filmed that just last week. It all ended so quickly. Once to twice a week I break down over it.
ALL ABOUT HER. . .
My Grandmother saved every single letter I ever sent her. Here’s one from 1995 in which I lament my low gym grade. LOL
Discovered at Grandmother’s: at the 5th-grade (no) talent show, Phantom of the Opera. I am the short one on the left! http://lockerz.com/s/225069023
When she wasn’t staking claim to everything that wasn’t nailed down in Marilyn’s house, she was celebrating the first anniversary of when she put tacky (and, frankly, insulting to this native Texan) western wear into a her pink suitcase.
I KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK? Anyway, Dave and Brit Morin celebrate their first wedding anniversary tomorrow (July 16). Tangentially related, Brit was on the Today show recently hawking her used yoga mat wine stoppers or something. And I just put a glue gun to my head.
So, what else? Oh, Julia found the time to embrace her secret alcoholism.
Over an hour on the phone with
@United trying to fix my flight. I’ve never needed a glass of wine so badly in my life.
My, she’s been busy. Yet she still found time to continue her increasingly depressing transformation into Miss Havisham by hiding in the bushes and creepily stalking a wedding she was not invited to. Oh, and she found another tent she wanted to steal. (What is with our Donk and tents?)
My parents’ neighbors’ daughter is getting married this Sat in the most exquisite tent ever. But it’s meant to RAIN!!
It should not be allowed to rain on anyone’s wedding day. Unless they shouldn’t be getting married. But apparently weather isn’t karma.
I’m unabashedly wedding obsessed, so here’s another shot. They added a beach tent for rain during the ceremony.
How much do you want to bet she rubbed one out while watching the ceremony from 100 yards away? Oh, and I have always heard that rain on your wedding day is good luck. Way to curse everyone’s marriage, you fucktard. Just because you will never, ever, and I mean EVER have a husband doesn’t mean you have to wish for divorce and/or a lifetime of misery for those that are mentally and emotionally capable enough to find a spouse. Jesus, she’s a fat, angry, jealous hater!
Anyway, between all the stalking and attention-seeking grieving and failing to move beyond a distant rite of passage, she still found the time to perpetuate the mistaken notion that her father is hilarious.
“That lawyer is from a law firm of turkeys that represents a bank full of turkeys.” – my Dad. “Turkey” is a grave charge coming from my dad.
He is not. Jesus, even the Family Circus dudes are getting the stabbies with this “My Perfect Quirky Family” shit.
Finally, this happened:
Dude. . .
Enjoy your Monday!