Donk’s Public Licking Problem, Revisited

A cat lady suggested a post revisiting Donk’s weirdo public licking problem. We haven’t seen too much of this disgusting habit lately, although she did mention wanting to lick Chris in Episode 2 of Miss Advised, and of course there was this nastiness:


And here are some of her greatest hits (for additional fun, note her visible eyes in photos taken prior to 2010):





And now a handy collage of eating and licking, Donkey-style. Because if you can’t sexualize your eating disorder, you’re failing!

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108 Responses to Donk’s Public Licking Problem, Revisited

  1. Rosalie says:

    I suddenly want some sugar. Okay, more sugar.

  2. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    Dammit, new post and I am already OT. I hate that! But anyway, discuss:

    • frequent liar miles says:

      Well, I for one think the 10 thou IS in Tina’s blouse.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I am betting that gets overturned in appeal.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      The anonymous comment accused an elected official of committing a very specific crime. I am not a lawyer, but it does seem like that might be more likely to fall under the local jurisdiction’s definitions of defamation than the usual “Councilor Jones is an asshole and his mom dresses him funny” flak people post on the Internet.

  3. AFGHANI says:

    Danish Mary didn’t lick her cupcake–good for her. Shame on Lasagna and Yellow teeth for getting bullied into it by Donkey.

  4. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    she did mention wanting to lick Chris in Episode 2 of Miss Advised

    Can someone .gif the portion of that episode where D0nkey quite literally mimes her intent to lick Chris? (That, & her miming in another episode something about wearing bull horns is pretty funny, just not the way she thinks it is) BTW, ‘donkey-lick’ is Australian slang for ‘to defeat decisively’ … does that not equate to the menz running away in defeat (& fear? & loathing?) from Mulia Mallison?

  5. Andy Whorehol says:

    The constant dessert licking/fellating is one of her weirder traits still. I kept thinking she would grow out of it eventually. How cute is it to constantly fake an orgasm for staged photos over the sight of cake?
    I find her constant use of referring to her behaviors as “such-and-such on crack” lately almost as annoying. Because crack usage and food obsessions are funny in Donk’s wacky world!

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I guarantee she did it once and some guy said it was sexy – and now it’s burned in her brain to do it over and over again since she would never know how to be sexy on her own.

      • fig says:

        Doesn’t explain how she got her mom to do it.

        I believe I remember a picture featuring Mom, Julia and maybe wedding cake at Brit’s wedding. But I am not 100% sure, and I don’t have the strength to look through her archives.

        • Imminent Meltdown says:

          There is a picture from Allie and Brit’s wedding where Julia and Robin are standing at a corner of the Altar with GAPPING MAWS. The caption is something like “Yeah, Now Brit won’t have ugly children”

          That was when I decided she was an unredeemable and unrepentent nightmare.

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            this one, perhaps?


      • Grammarian says:

        Her only party trick and a sad one at that

    • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

      It’s been mentioned in the past, but it’s incredibly selfish and disgusting to lick a cake that’s meant to be shared by a dozen people. Gross, but she thinks she’s adorable. Guh.

  6. says:

    Oh sorry, thought the first one didn’t post. Pls delete one of them mods. Thx.

  7. Occupy Donkeytown says:

    I’ve seen so few photos of Lasagna. God, she looks so dumb and sad. Not cute or tiny, either–no wonder Donkey never wanted her in front of the camera.

  8. juliaspublicist says:

    No. I will do no such thing. Furthermore, this .gif will accompany every post I write until the day death silences me.

  9. AtxMir says:

    Why do you people hate her so much? Are you all so insecure with yourselves as people that you have to be so hateful to another human? Public displays of hate for other people usually leads to or is due to an unhappy life or jealousy issues. Why don’t “we” focus on ourselves and turn this hate into working on “our” own lives? 🙂

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Wow, why haven’t “we” thought of that before? Thanks Dr. Phil!

    • juliaspublicist says:

      The French hated the aristocracy, and look what happened there: DEMOCRACY! Happy Bastille Day, enculés!

    • Dyspeptic says:

      that’s it, you’ve nailed me. I’m going to the ashram to reflect upon my imperfections.

    • Grammarian says:


    • alessa says:

      hi julia.

    • Occupy Donkeytown says:

      I never understand this argument. So what if I DO have an unhappy life–my cutting observations and incisive wit somehow aren’t valid?

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Atxmir, could you hep a sistuh out? You obvs know me better than I know myself, so please prioritize from 1st-to-last the order of D0nkey traits I am most jealous of:
      * Daddy-Issues head-band
      * Plastic clip-in hair
      * Michael Jackson eyebrows
      * “A tarantula shit on my eyeballz” fake lashes
      * Disappearing piggy eyes
      * cheek fillers
      * Evolving piggy nostrils
      * Noses: 1, 2, 3 or 4
      * “Filler-is-bubbling-under-here” lips
      * Bulldog jowls
      * chinplant
      * Rebar collar bone
      * Sausage snappers
      * Raft ass
      * Calf implants
      * Hooves encased in white ‘slutty-nurse’ FMP’s

      Those are D0nkey’s most-envied physical qualities — others can carry the torch & compile lists of her: (& then you can prioritize those too)
      “Professional Accomplishments”
      “Un-failed Relationships”
      “Entremanureial Successes”
      “Philanthropic Endeavors”
      “Behaviors to Emulate”
      “Criminal Tendencies”
      “Shilldebeast ‘Gimme Pig of Things Other People Pay For’ Grifter”

    • juliaspublicist says:

      But to answer your question, do many people hate her because she has used, pissed off, screwed over, disrespected, looked down upon, conned and stolen from many, many, many people, a number of them comment on this very site.

      That and she’s an asshole.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      My life’s good, thanks for asking. What a delightful little ray of sunshine you must be! I bet you have loads of friends.

    • frequent liar miles says:

      Have you not been following along? She is not “another human being.” She is A Donkey.

    • alessa says:

      but this is working on our own lives. through her we can learn how not to act.

      also, if this so beneath you, how and why did YOU find this website and start reading it?

    • Casa Del Sweden Is A City, Whatever, It's Miss Cast says:

      AtxMir, are you a cosmonaut?
      Cause the only explanation for your question is that you’ve been on the mir space station for the last 5 years.

  10. FreeLily! says:

    Love this collage! Thank you, my eating disorder is properly sexualized now!

  11. FreeLily! says:

    To AtxMir: I come here because I am a fat, angry, jealous, basement dwelling loner. I am too large to leave the house, so perching my iPad atop my cheeto stained mummu and being mean online to a smart talented successful, healthy woman like Julia Allison is the way I feel better about myself. I have never done any work on myself or any of my own issues. But your post has completely transformed my life and now I am going to change everything I do. Thank you so much for helping me to see the error of my ways. Maybe some day I can be as noble as you are, moving through the intent to spread morality and right thinking. Namaste! (-:

  12. a JA moment says:

    i know it has been said many many many times, but she used to be gorgeous! her personality was always hideous, but now the outside matches the inside.

    she is truly a cautionary tale about many things, especially the use of injectibles.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:


      • Wonkeye says:

        Exactly. Every time I think about fucking with my face (and I’m actually old), I look at her or Taylor WTF from RHOBH and put it right out of my mind.

    • AFGHANI says:

      Correct. She used to look great, when she was mid-20s. The last 4 years have been awful for her–the shape of her face isn’t even the same. WTF?

      Also? Most people develop a sense of self and learn how to dress themselves by the end of their 20s. Julia fucked all that up too.

      • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

        Don’t get carried away. She looked OK before the implants, not great.

  13. The Tortuous and the Hair says:

    This one never fails to make me laugh and/or lose my appetite, from Mary’s vimeo:


    • Andy Whorehol says:

      Mary’s vimeo account is a goldmine of vintage Donk/NonSociety hilarity. I forget how much I miss her drunken/bitchy moments. I think there’s an old video out there somewhere of Donk all but orgasming in obvious envy over a clip of Mary’s failed reality show; little did we then know how desperately Donk wanted to have her own piece of the reality show famewhore cake to lick!

      • AFGHANI says:

        Sadly, One Ocean View got canned after 2 episodes. But not before Mary was basically begging to sleep with one of the housemates… who blew her off. Hilarious stuff.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      That one is downright scary. The cray is a-flowin’.

    • Grammarian says:

      In retrospect, the botox pinned brows look extra sad

  14. LetItExplode says:

    I just wish she would take some of the constructive advice offered in these parts and get some serious help. I mean it. She needs intensive therapy and years away from the Internet. She is going to continue to hurt herself and wreak havoc on the lives of those around her. It’s so frustrating that her parents haven’t intervened. Maybe they are of the WASP “This isn’t happening” mentality. Well, it is. On national television. Maybe this is the slap in the face/wake-up call the Baughers need to fully grasp that their daughter is only spiraling down. If this were my child I would be horrified/worried sick.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      My theory on why her parents (and other parents) ignore this stuff is because then they have to look at their own behavior and how they helped enable this and they just don’t want to do it.

      I think her parents breathe a sigh of relief that she is not really their problem anymore as well as are in denial about how much of a hosebeast she really is. I think they are also in denial about her getting a partner – they think it will come soon and that it will rescue her in some way.

      • AFGHANI says:

        But they’re still paying for her. So yes, in a way they’re still involved and very much will be, until and unless she finds a meal ticket (man). Perhaps they’d rather just keep paying, so long as she doesn’t go out of her way to embarass them and it makes it look like she’s independent. By doing this, they don’t have to face the reality of what’s wrong with her life and how they contributed to it.

  15. Freeloading Musketeers says:

    So what is she doing in the Miss Advised screen shot? The finger licking one?

  16. Albie Quirky says:

    Think less but see it grow
    Like a riot, like a riot, oh
    Donk’s easily offended
    From the mess to the masses

    Watch “Miss Advised” still
    Disgust, discouraged
    On this precious weekend ending
    Her lust’s for gentlemen only
    Wealthiest gentlemen only
    And now that she’s lonely
    Too late, too late, too late, jugulate, too late, too late to

    Let’s go slowly discouraged
    We’ll post the pictures instead
    When it’s all over we’ll come here and discuss
    For one minute only
    She’s so unfortunate only
    Though she could have done something else
    Her face, it bloats, it bloats, it bloats, it bloats and grows

    Lickomania {&c}

    • fig says:

      I had to look up Lisztomania by Phoenix because of this and it’s pretty funny in this context:

      Follow, misguide, stand still
      Disgust, discourage on this precious weekend ending
      This love’s for gentlemen only, wealthiest gentlemen only
      And now that you’re lonely
      Do let, do let, do let, jugulate, do let, do let, do

      Copied from

  17. Albie Quirky says:

    Julie Albertson didn’t make it to Comic-Con this year, but Phoebe Price did.

    This is your future, Julie, if you keep on keepin’ on the way you’re going. Tremble.

    • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

      Julia has way more in common with Phoebe Price than she’d ever dare to admit to herself. They really are more alike than different.

    • maid of dishonor says:

      omg. I’d never heard of this person before…all I see is JA when I look at her pics!

    • That face– horrifying! Thought at first “cutlets” was referring to boob plumpage, but then I saw her cheeks…

      On par with Donks.

      • [img][/img]

        Also, Adrienne Curry. Gross. These three famewhores should get together and start a coven or something.

        • Prof. F Camping says:

          hey, at least phoebe price knows how to put on her costume the right way, isn’t supported by her mom, looks decent in a bikini, and the paps actually care about her. donkey? no.

  18. Glen Coco For Cocoa Puffs says:

    I never realized how big (or at least normal) her eyes used to be. What a shame, they were actually quite lovely.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I know. She had big, brown doe eyes. They were one of her nicest features. And now they are two pissholes in the snow. It is the most bizarre thing to me re: what she’s done to her face.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks, Golem Boomerang says:

        Ahem! “I do have green eyes sometimes.”

      • Pissholes in the Snow says:

        The first time Jacy posted that phrase, I almost did a spit-take at my desk at work and knew that that name had to be mine, even if I’m mostly only a long-time lurker. Love and light!

  19. Lazy and Crazy says:

    So according to her Twatter, she’s finally going full on Ms. Havesham? She really thinks clomping around in her musty old prom dress (at age 31), is thexay?

    Oh, honey.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      She wore the prom dress on the teevee show, so why not on Twitter?

      She also deleted the wrong tweet—Popeye Forman is still talking about landmines and landlines in the same sentence.

  20. AFGHANI says:

    OT, but in other blogger news, MckMama has to defend against a Bankruptcy Fraud proceeding.

    Discovery and dispositive motions due in the coming months and a trial date will be set afterwards. Julia is a scammer and liar, but so far hasn’t had to defend herself against a U.S. Trustee. Maybe in a few years, if we’re lucky…

    • Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

      Uh, could you summarize? No, most of us don’t want to go read a long legal .pdf to figure out what you’re talking about.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      That’s fine and all, but is her house up to Afghani muster?

      • AFGHANI says:

        She’s been foreclosed on twice (!) and she stiffed her last landlord and left a months’ worth of trash in his barn. Surprisingly, the house she rents now in Wisconsin is pretty decent, although people on the blog say the neighborhood is questionable.

  21. Prof. F Camping says:

    here’s the previous lickomania compendium, in case anyone missed it. also, my all-time fave julia licking pic:


  22. LOL, what’s with the can of Amy’s chili? That ish is goooood, especially on nachos.

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