Julia Allison Is Beyond Lazy

So it appears that Julia wanted to gather your suggestions for the perfect first date outfit because she arranged yet another appearance on some local Chicago morning show. My best guess is that she was trying to impress all those powerful moms with fantastic sons, despite the fact that her family thought she was a shameless hellbeast for going on local morning television the day after of her grandmother’s memorial service.

But dating expert, Julia Allison, needed someone to do all her work for her:

Headed to WGN in Chicago for a morning appearance on … What to wear on a first date! I’m totally cribbing all of your tips from yesterday.

Here’s what I did today: @WGNNews – talking first date outfits & the Kenilworth Union Church Rummage Sale! http://www.wgntv.com/news/middaynew …

Christ, what an asshole.

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137 Responses to Julia Allison Is Beyond Lazy

  1. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    And now for the real reason why I am in here. Catladies! I need help! So since I lost my job, I lost access to my Adobe Creative Suite. I don’t own it because, lord, that shit’s expensive, but I need it. So I was curious, you graphic and web people, what are your thoughts on the Adobe Creative Cloud? Do you think it’s worth signing up for?

    • virgil reid says:

      download the trial via adobes website and then download a keygen creator so then you just create a new serial number as needed.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Do you know any computer/tech people? They can usually hook you up for a small fee, or even for free (*whispers* that’s what I did).

      You can also check CL.

    • Wife Branding says:

      I got all my Adobe shizz legit by taking classes at SVA. A single weekend class gets you access to their computer store w/education discount and Photoshop for $150 and a full suite for like $300 or so.

    • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

      I’ll make a donation on the site for you to buy it. I encourage others to do so. You have made me laugh a lot over the last few years.

      • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

        I’m in for this — Jacy, can we specifically earmark it?

        • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

          I just gave $50. Please earmark it for software.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Same here — GOOD LUCK, JP!
            (I found the note section to earmark)

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I have sent the donations along to JP!

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

            Thanks so much! But to give you an update. I have several prospects that I have lined up, one here locally that I would have in the bag. (I’m close with the executive director and the person who would be my immediate supervisor.) Hopefully I will get that soon until I can line something up that will help me move to someplace that doesn’t make me want to slit my throat.

      • juliaspublicist says:

        Oh wow! Thank you so much. No need to do that. I can afford it, even the full version. I was just wondering about the merits of ye cloud.

        • Sake Bombardier says:

          I’ve been using it and I like it. It’s great to have all the software that I could not afford to buy outright. Adobe still has some work to do to make it, um, cloudier.

          If you have a serial number from an old version you can get it for $30/month. If you need one I can email a few to try, lmk.

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            Also you have 30 days to try it and still get a refund, which is what I did then decided to keep it. Muse is the bomb though true web peeps hate it. I can see why but I am a lazy bitch.

            /designgeeksidebar

          • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

            I think I am just going to buy it outright. My best friend’s little sister is a college student, so I am sure I can get her student rate, if I buy her Schlitz or something.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Too late, I already sent it to you. Put it toward the cost. Your catpeeps love you!

  2. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    8,000 first dates? What the fuck? I’m a huge whore and my number is shameful, but 8,000? She would have to go on a first date every day for 21.9 years to achieve that number.

  3. Donkey Punch says:

    In all seriousness, I would like to pursue Jacy’s theory that Donk is somehow developmentally disabled and that’s why her parents are so thrilled that she can live somewhat unassisted (apart from the income they give her). The more we see of her, the more it seems she is completely unable to do basic, day-to-day tasks. We already knew she had the emotional maturity of a four-year-old, but the scenes of her on Miss Advised suggest that her mental faculties are quite stunted as well. Was she deprived of air at birth and so Peter and Robin blame themselves for her brain damage? I really think Jacy is onto something with the developmental disability suspicion.

    • CDB says:

      I agree the circle running on the beach confirms RE RE

      • Lazy and Crazy says:

        I can’t stop thinking about that moment. WHAT the fuck was that.

      • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

        Until I saw the running in circles and throwing the golem into the sea (“it floats!”) THREE times, I was going with delayed emotional development, but now I’m starting to think she’s actually not that bright.

    • Meow Mix says:

      I’ve said it before, but Julia reminds me so much of my freshman year roommate.

      Seeing her for extended periods of time on Miss Advised (as opposed to seeing three minute TMI Weekly clips), especially things like the awkward beach running, confirm it.

      I don’t know what my roommate’s diagnosis was, but she acted juuuuuuust like Julia does. Her parents were just thrilled that she could live a semi-normal existence that they let her get away with a lot.

      • You Have a Situation on Your Face Girl (and fug on your feet) says:

        Besides the “bitch be cray” stuff, there is the blinking, twitching and fidgeting…those can’t be good signs.

  4. Donkey Punch says:

    Christ, heifer, PUT DOWN YOUR FUCKING IPHONE FOR ONE SECOND.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I assumed she had a script or something on her phone because what the hell was that?

  5. JuliaViewerEmails says:

    Now now JP we should really help her out..

    Jules for that focus on me first date look a pearl necklace and your birthday suit is all that is needed. Cme-on Jules we dare you..

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      birthday suit?!
      hey, even catladies don’t want the Spanish Interrogation! vom in shower.

      • frequent liar miles says:

        Why do you suffer the Jimbo so gladly?

        (Actually, though, I am always interested to see his take on things because it helps me understand how a Donkey manages to persevere in the face of “overwhelming odds” — there is always a lowest common denominator.)

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Fred is Jimbo? You’re sure?
          That never crossed my mind.

          • frequent liar miles says:

            Maybe not; my sleuthing is only based on my own intuition, which is not necessarily accurate. (I am not a witch or anything!)

          • mcakez says:

            I am pretty sure FLM is correct, as the two share the same icon, which comes from e-mail addresses.

            I could be remembering incorrectly, and only the mods would know for sure, I imagine.

          • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

            Oh, see, I thought Jimbo was a green star icon …

          • 11th Wang says:

            Unless you both happen to use the same fake / nonexistant email, like yours truly and JFA.

  6. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    Lemme re-post this over here: I just played “GOLEM” in Scrabble.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Nice.

      I LOVE the Scrabble app. Reminds me I haven’t played in a long time.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      I’ll go ya one better, Prof … twice in slightly over a week, on Good Times reruns, I’ve heard reference to Queen Nefertiti.

  7. Lazy and Crazy says:

    She better get used to this. This is about as good a gig as she’ll be able to land after Missadventure finishes. How. Far. She’s. Fallen. Fashion tips to midwestern housewives on local morning news?

    Oh honey.

  8. oldballz says:

    Lilly dress with white hooker pumps and faux pearls. This *might* be her most disgusting outfit YET.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      THE FUCKING SHOES needed to be put in the box with the golem and thrown into the sea. And they probably would have sunk the box.

      • Helena (Pterodactyl Trallala) says:

        Those shoes are an affront to the golem aesthetics.

      • Edward R. Burro says:

        I really, really do not understand the thought process behind those shoes. It’s like she’s wearing the shoes from a slutty nurse costume. Or the shoes from a 1986 Whitesnake video.

      • learned paw says:

        WHITE. PATENT. ON. THE. TEEVEE. I am seriously starting to think she is doing some performance art to fuck with us. There is no way she thinks those look good.

      • KrakenSkulls says:

        I love this thread.

    • frequent liar miles says:

      She was just bragging about them on the twatter (in the last week or so): something along the lines of “They’re Bakers! A stylist’s secret weapon — so affordable!” in response to some deranged follower’s genuinely curious inquiry.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Those were the taupe slingbacks. These white Barbie hooves have been around for awhile and just get more and more heinous.

        • frequent liar miles says:

          Oh, OK. But how can any normal observer (however versed in Donk studies) be arsed to distinguish amongst her shoe wardrobe travesties? I am “genuinely curious.”

      • Pink Palatian says:

        There was also some guy who replied to her Bakers tweet about his foot fetish. Hey! Maybe that’s how she makes her spending money. Don’t foot fetish guys like smelly stinky feet and shoes?

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          I know she once admitted to a “fan” sending her a pair of shoes, but I am convinced this happens more frequently than she lets on. Why else would she snap photos of her dirty hooves? Remember the photo of YSL Tribunes in the aisle of the plane? Vom in the shower.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      So we’ve seen her wearing those same hideous ‘white hooker pumps’ a lot lately. And we all know her reputation for bad hygiene habits.

      Can you imagine how bad those pumps must smell?

  9. BLB says:

    So given how dead summer tv is, I forced catman to watch this shit show. His comments. “she’s a fucking joke.”.’ amongst others. This is not a dude who reads blogs or comments on reality TV. I think it’s telling that someone who is not in the know catches up so quickly.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      My 21-year-old nephew watched it with me the other day. He knows nothing about her except that auntie has a strange blog loosely connected to the show that he’s never read. It took all of five minutes before he basically said: “Holy shit, what an attention whore. She sucks up all the oxygen in the room. She can’t figure out why she can’t get a date? It’s because she’s awful.”

      • frequent liar miles says:

        Her own mother said this very thing about her in that interview in answer to some question about how it was for her brother growing up. Maybe your nephew is headed for MIT.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        His momma raised him right.

  10. where's my rang? says:

    So I finally watched the first few episodes of this show and I really gotta say HOLY CRAP! I really thought you guys were exaggerating when describing how pathetic she comes across but it’s even worse than what I expected. I honestly feel bad for her! Like really bad! Why would any sane person would expose themselves like that?
    Julia, if you’re reading this, after this show is over, stay away from the limelight, take your writing seriously and get help! Find out who you really are. You made a HUGE mistake appearing on this show.
    :-/ back to lurking!
    Keep on being funny you catladies, I can’t spend a day without reading this blog :-)

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      It’s horrible, isn’t it. How in the hell did she every think that she would be America’s newest sweetheart.

  11. How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

    The worst reality show ever, BIG BROTHER, just came on (yay, channel-surfing!) & I kind of wish D0nkey would go on this one (not that she wouldn’t get kicked out by epi 3) because wow, just imagine the hose beast cunt she’d be …

  12. Cats have hobbies too says:

    Where does the “GREG” reference come from?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Somebody’s phone autocorrected “God” to “Greg” several days ago, and we all ran with it.

      • Joardache & the Pelts says:

        Unfortunately I was responsible…
        I’m traveling with my recently turned four year old niece in France and her new favorite phrase is “oh my god, ” which drives her super Catholic family. What’s better is that we have a game, as in “oh my god, there’s a cow!” and my favorite ” oh my god there’s a prostitute!” Maybe I should teach her “Greg.” She’s otherwise pretty well behaved considering all the schlepping through France we’ve put her through…

        • JuliaViewerEmails says:

          teach her

          oh my donkey

          instead

          • Joardache & the Pelts says:

            We’re actually seeing a lot of donkeys where we are now in the Perigord. They are delightful unlike the Wilamette variety.

        • Ignoramus with Pelts says:

          I’m going to France today! Mercifully without kids! I admire your ability to handle taking a four-year-old around France. I couldn’t do it. I told my kids they had to wait until they were ten!

          • Joardache & the Pelts says:

            Fortunately i can take iff and leave her with her folks. She’s being really good actually, much better probably than I was when I moved to France at her age. The good thing is tat French seem to be more tolerant of foreigner children now. Have a great trip, the last two weeks have been amazing.

        • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

          Little kids crack me up! A friend’s daughter has a love-hate relationship w/ one of my cats, & the other day, after being terrorized by said cat & them eventually buddy-ing up again, in order to have the last word, my cat was mooned by said child.

          *sorry if I’ve already mentioned this here; I’m still LMAO

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Mon Greg!

  13. donniedriveby says:

    I find it odd (no I don’t) that in the first 10 seconds we learn Miss Advised is about a dating columnist who leaves Chicago in search of Mr. Right, and stars Julia Allison

    No mention of the other two?

    Also, love how she edits her own words and says “Something that you can imagine a guy taking you home to mom or making out with him in the back seat of the car.”

    • donniedriveby says:

      Also love how the host is reading off paper, and our donkey is getting her notes off her iPhone. SOOOOO TECH YOU GUYS!

  14. mcakez says:

    Kendall Ciesemier ‏@kciesemier
    Excited for work tomorrow! @deepakchopra and @juliaallison will be in studio

    Oh man. She will never, ever shut up about this one.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      She’s just like Deepak, she goes has witches and a love coach!

    • Lazy and Crazy says:

      She’s going to be on the same show as Dr. Chopra? That’s like booking Neil deGrasse Tyson and a dung beetle.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Nah, Deepak Chopra is an opportunistic, image-obsessed piece of shit, too. He’s just smarter than Julia is.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks, Golem Boomerang says:

          But not smart enough to avoid looking like a charlatanic ass when interviewed about his “use” of quantum physics by Dawkins:

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-FaXD_igv4

          • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

            Please Greg, let the next target of her wallet-chasing be a Dawkins or Hitchens devotee. It would be hilarious to watch Julia’s identity make that shift, backpedaling on her current woo persona. About face!

      • AFGHANI says:

        Neil Tyson is like 1000000x more relevant and insightful than Chopra. You were headed in the right direction, but bad example using Tyson.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Not just a question of degree, there’s a huge qualitative difference between Chopra and someone like Tyson. Tyson is a popularizer of science, while Chopra is just a lame grifter like Annie Lalla, Alexis Neely, and Donkey.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Speaking of dung beetles…

        I keep thinking of the ‘Sisyphean Bolder’ and a cat lady comparing it to a dung beetle rolling his ball of dung. Can someone please help make all of my dreams come true, which include this photo:

        [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/301j90y.jpg[/img]

        …and Julie’s face, *averts eyes* kitten, the white hooker pumps, a golem (or Gollum!), her iphone w/pink case, Lilly, and any other items you feel are necessary to make the magic happen.

        • CDB says:

          Dr. Captain this is truly monumental

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          I ‘ve been throwing around “Sysypian Bolder” a bit on my trip as we’ve been visiting a lot of medieval towns/sacred spots built into mountains and caves and lots of steep narrow hills. Lots of boulders. In Rocamadour where I was yesterday devotees walk up hundreds of stairs on their knees. That’s pretty Sysypian compared to ” dating” methinks.

        • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

          [img]http://gickr.com/results3/anim_a2b94369-6e4e-2c74-053d-cd743464f1b3.gif[/img]

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Glad Julia has found the only people who might tolerate her: new-agey charlatans whose minds have been so corrupted by their woo that they’re no longer capable of any sort of discernment.

  15. JuliasTooSmallTutu says:

    We know Julia’s goal is to land a husband so saying that she’s gone out on “8000 first dates” means that she is clearly not an expert at what to wear on a first date at all.

  16. TheSpanishInterrogation says:

    I’m late (Prof. F Camping – you rang?) donks is def RE RE.

  17. Norse Horse, Sisyphean Bolder says:

    Gregdamn, why in the fuck is she on cheapass local television here again, where the hostess forgives her for forsaking Chicago for LA with, “You’re fulfilling your dreams!” or some shit.

    I just have to say whatever this queer Chicago morning show is, using the theme from “Basic Instinct (Disco Scene)” is utterly cool with me. Twenty years, twenty-five years ago, who cares. Like, it’s so psychedelically cool in how ancient it is? That it comes around to being kind of cool again? I don’t think that’s what they were intending though, “Blue” was meant to be the soundtrack for a sociopath murderess. Um, oops? Maybe I should give the sound director more credit. Donks is no Catherine Trammell though. She’s too stupid.

    DeBallàge is where it’s at, and it’s why that entire station should be fired. Sorry, Chicago. All of them. I don’t think they gave enough attention to the $30 frock sale that can SAVE LIVES. Somehow, people. Look at all those soiled shitty dresses you can have for cheap, cheap! And the money goes to charity in some fucked-up way, ha, probably a nickel if they’re lucky. Just buy them, you prick bitch!

  18. So. Blessed. says:

    Who watched the dog while the Julias were in NYC? Just wondering. And I was betting that Donkey would not be able to carry the weight of two weekly blogs for long so is no surprise at all that this week’s ELLE was obvs late and borrowed heavily from the Bravo stream of consciousness rant.

    Twitbits: Julia is, of course, BFF with Diablo Cody and wants to make her Burning Man dreamz come true to cement their friendship, has added and been added by resident wreck Cat Marnell and continues to awkwardly address her @replies with proper names (to give some false sense of community) yet follows none back.

    Most links to NS are dead in hopes of promoting Donkey’s revamped website. What happened to the Topless Web Designer? Am hoping the laundered Golem Burying Authenticity Frocke was packed for tomorrow’s fete with Deepak Chopra.

    • fig says:

      WHAT IS THE CAT MARNELL CONNECTION?

      Do any super smart cat ladies know how those two are connected? All I could find so far was that cryptic tweet from Marnell, and now my eye is twitching with curiosity.

    • Donkey Ho-Tay says:

      How does the world not combust when Cat Marnell and Julia Allison are even mentioned in the same sentence?

      I actually think Cat has some talent, but she’s the only Internet person I’ve ever had to back away from because it was clear that she was (is) self-destructing—and this is coming from someone who reads RebloggingDonk on the daily.

    • So. Blessed. says:

      I have read most of Cat’s articles, including the seminal Whitney Houston blergh that is continually called out as her magnum opus. I don’t find her a phenom–she comes off as Elizabeth Wurtzel lite. I admit I loved EW as a teen and young adult but my tastes have changed–I am all for nonapologetic writing but after a time you hope the writer learns something from their experience. All those stimulants for naught?

      Cat will continue to find clingers who find her SWAG, will share their pills and dust, and as she mentioned in her column today, take pix of her passed the fuck out (paging Terry Richardson) but even she has admitted how non-swag the life of an addict is. I’m with Donkey Ho-Tay–I can’t watch anymore.

      I think A Donkey might have sent her a “you go girl!” email or some such based on Cat’s tweet–also Donkey is keen on sucking up to the latest fad and could be angling to be part of XOJane’s stable. Julia is completely oblivious to anything that doesn’t concern her directly. Unless Cat was vomming in a shower after a chocolate binge Julia wouldn’t consider that “addiction.” Ha! LOL!

      She knows how fuck about anything considering addiction or maladaptive behavior as evidenced by her “um, oops, I’m bingeing on food! tee-hee rape! whee, Jelly D, pot lollipops for all!” She’d be in a straight-up pearl clutch seizure were she up on a rooftop (clomp, clomp, clomp!) watching Cat and the other dregs smoke PCP with a gregdamn tinfoil scarf.

      TL;DR: Cat has some serious fucking problems at the mo’ and Julia’s envying her cheekbones and column so glomming it on in her best MissAssviced capacity.

      • Wife Branding says:

        I thought the cryptic email comment was in reference to Donk tweeting something about Nick Bilton’s article on emails. I don’t think there’s a strong connection between the two women.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      Cat Marnell and JA? Did I hear this right?

      • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

        JABa has for years used xojulia as her primary link so I think she’s had her eye on emulating that franchise from the outset.

        • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

          And isnt crazy craft brit also xobrit? I may be wrong here but I seem to remember mumbling something to myself about coattails and lack of originality.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            She was HelloBrit (shades of HelloGiggles) but now she’s BritAndCo or something equally stupid.

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          Julia ever the visionary iconoclast.

  19. moonshineDONKEY says:

    CATLADIES, JULIA ALLISON MISSED THE BEST JOURNALISM OPPORTUNITY EVER! …she didn’t cover the LA riots #Chalkwalk today.

  20. bob says:

    Did anyone else catch that she mispronounced Cynthia Steffe’s name on the show?

  21. JFA says:

    Jesus Christ that dress is so inappropriate for daytime tv. That’s shit you would wear on a vacation in Hawaii out to dinner at a beachside casual restaurant. I can’t anymore.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Come on, though, the shoes make it so classy.

      • JFA says:

        I hate those fucking shoes so much. Whenever I see a platform pump or slingback now I want to wing it through the nearest window. God forbid she wore age and season appropriate strappy sandals or something.

  22. ShesJustStupid says:

    She’s hitting up the local Fox channel this morning…

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 2h
    What’s the biggest first date no-no? I’m talking about this on Fox’s Good Day Chicago this morning at 9:15 am!

    • Blinking.SOS.at.the.Camera says:

      Has she not seen her own show? Miss Advised, Monday’s at 10 pm. The answers you seek are there, grasshopper.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      Re-Re D0nkey really is re-re! She’s completely incapable of formulating, much less retaining, an original thought or standard or principle …

      If her parent$ intend to stand a chance on Greg’s (verdant!) green earth of actually getting D0nkey married off, they need to muzzle her (get her out of the public spotlight) & medicate her enough to staunch the flow of stupidity being brayed out of her gaping maw until they can find a man desperately in need of a beard or a green card. A better plan though would be enforced sterilization.

    • virgil reid says:

      you know the thing that puzzles me is doesnt she get tired from the same redundant topics over and over and over? for someone who has been a dating columnist or whatever she wants to call herself, isnt she tired of talking about first dates at least once a month for the past ten years or whatever? how many times can you talk about the same one dimensional topic? does she still expect to be doing that when shes 35? i just dont understand at all.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        She can’t talk about anything else. She never gets past the first date.

    • JFA says:

      This makes a lot of sense. Spinning her trainwreck appearance on a soon to be canceled reality show that chronicles her batshit insane dating failures into a career as a talking head about dating. Sure. Okay. That ought to bring in about $2000 income a year.

      Am I missing something? Is the show not EXPLICITLY about how bad she is at dating? So why would anyone want her advice about dating? #confused

    • JFA says:

      Also LOL like you don’t fucking know. Honestly just pick any one of your own behaviors and start there. Asking q’s about the ex, being too aggressive, not letting the other person talk…I can go on.

    • Flyingdonkeycopter says:

      Did anyone watch the Fox Good Day Chicago clip? Donkey looks more tired than she did yesterday. Lots of pelt petting too.

    • Wonky Donkey says:

      Asking Julia on a first date/saying yes to Julia is the biggest first date no-no.

  23. Delurked says:

    very much OT and probably a shot in the dark, but have any of you worldly catladies ever been to the Melbourne airport in Australia? will be stopping over there in a few weeks and i hear there are showers in the airport. i’m not sure which grosses me out more, a public shower in an airport, or going sans shower after a 24 hour trip. by any chance does anyone have any info/experience with these? merci mucho in advance!

    • oh, calm down Kevin; it's MONOGRAMMED!!!!!!!!! says:

      last time i was there, the toilets and showers are pretty bad. but, pop on a pair of thongs/flip flops/jandals and you should be ok.

  24. Donkeycam Now! says:

    OT: I had no idea Donks had another blog. Well, it is just a collection of rehashed articles and an ever-expanding bio (ME!! MEEEE!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!).

    The “about” section is particularly canklehausen-inducing and I would suggest any reader apply ointment liberally in advance, just as a preventive measure.

    Donk’s biggest achievement in the last 5 years? In her own brays: “In the five years since, her proudest moment was Oscar-winner Diablo Cody tweeting that she admired Allison’s “balls.””

    Look Mom!!! There is one celebrity that know I existe!! Look !! Look at me, Mom! MOM!!!!!!!!!

    Another interesting tidbit: her “over a 1000″ TV appeareances are now “hundreds” of TV appearences. In Donkspeak, hundreds is more than one-hundred, so it looks like she adjusted it down to 101 or 102, tops.

    That lying conniving Donkey!

  25. newbie says:

    So after way too much archive searching I think I’ve got the gist of this crazy chick (I’d never heard of before the show), but there are a couple things I can’t figure out. Could you help enlighten me a little? Where did the college date rape story come from? Did she write about it? Was the Jakob/Julia relationship real or just for the internet? and What happened to this girl? From what I can tell in say ’06 – ’08 she was on tv like 6 times a day on MSNBC, Fox, CBS… you name it, this girl was a legitimate “somebody”, but I’ve been an avid tv news viewer for the last few years and I don’t recall ever seeing her on. It’s like she went from actually being famous to being a nobody overnight! I mean really… did something happen?

    • LickedRandisCake says:

      1. I believe that info was received in a tip.

      2. Yes, it was a real relationship, not just for the internet.

      3. Yes, if you’ve read the archives then you know the answer to this one. She’s burned a ton of bridges, left a lot of angry people in her wake, lost a lot of friends and generally alienated herself from all of the circles in which she aspired to hang out. Thing is, she is like a shark, always moving and throwing herself in to new circles. And the cycle then repeats itself over and over, in perpetuity, forevermore, henceforth, yada, yada, yada.

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