Even An Anti-Feminist Life Coach Gives a Donkey Better Advice Than The Usual Grifters

While I bitterly disagree that feminism is to blame for how JA has gone so terribly wrong — she is The Anti-Feminist, for God’s sake, a man-hungry, scheme-juice-fuelled weasel whose sole ambition is to land a dude — this old codger’s old-school “wife advice” is still probably better than anything any other “life coach” has ever given her. In short: You want a husband? Probably not a great idea to unveil your madness on national TV. Princess Pelts: Give Stuart Schneiderman a call!

His post:

If you think that Aaron Sorkin does not know how to draw female characters, you need to take a look at a new reality show: Miss Advised.

Feminists object to Sorkin’s characters because they make women look bad. As we know, feminist ideology sees all art as propaganda, valid only to the extent that it affirms feminist prejudice.

Miss Advised is a trainwreck of a show. It’s one of the most cringe-worthy shows on television. The characters elicit pity, but not sympathy.

To be honest, the show has some redeeming value as anthropology, as living proof of what happens to young women, brought up by the best of all possible parents, who choose to live their lives according to the misguided principles of feminism (EDS: Uh, no. Sorry Stu) and the therapy culture. Or better, when they are, as the show’s title puts it, mis-advised.

Julia Allison, Emily Morse, and Amy Laurent seem to be living according to rules that have been a cultural staple for years now. Clearly, they are not living the American dream. They are living the feminist nightmare.

They have dispensed with the old rules; they have liberated themselves from the constraints imposed by the patriarchy; they are living exactly as they please.

Unfortunately, it’s not working out very well for them. The three thirtysomethings all seem to be looking for husbands, but, as you watch them careen from one calamity to another, from one piece of appallingly bad behavior to another, the last four-letter word that would ever cross your mind is … WIFE. 

All told they do not have any idea of what it means to be a wife. At best, they are trying out for concubine, not wife.

They might be telling themselves that they are following their bliss or living their desire, but in truth they are making a spectacle of their desperation.

They seem to believe that self-exposure is a good thing. They want to be open and upfront. Yet, it all feels so desperate that it is decidedly unattractive.

Worse yet, desperation feeds on itself. The more you show your desperation, the worse you look. The worse you look the more people will avoid you. The more people avoid you, the more desperate you become.

Like it or not, these women demonstrate that liberation is an exercise in negativity. It is not about following rules. It’s about breaking rules. Two of the three make a point of saying that they do not know how to follow rules or to take advice, as though that is something to be proud of.

Of course, if your only rule is the ideological necessity to violate all the old rules, you are being defined, negatively, by the old rules. If you cannot calculate the real cost of such behavior, you are a zealot.

If the old rules told women to be demure and modest, these women are outrageously immodest.

Julia has a constitutional right to talk about blow jobs on national television, but how many men would want to introduce a woman who talks about blow jobs on national television to their mothers?

If the old rules told women to place a high value on their sexuality, these women are out there trying to give it away.

I hope I don’t need to tell you, women do not become wives by giving it away.

If the old rules say that men should make the first move, these women don’t even give men a chance to make the first move. They take charge and make the first, second and third moves.

When Julia tries this new approach on a date she throws herself at a man, gets rejected and feels even more abject than before.

What’s the problem? This is easy. These women have dedicated their college years and their twenties to career building (EDS: Wrong again, Stu. That’s hardly been JA’s problem, but I’ll hear you out). They are all successful in one way or another. (EDS: No)

Now they are ready to settle down and they discover that their “market value” has diminished. More importantly, their exercise in serial dating has caused them to suffer so many traumas that they are no longer capable of functioning on dates or in relationships. I would say that they are the walking wounded, but, somehow, “walking” does not quite do it justice.

When it comes to making their way through the dating scene they are barely ambulatory.

Give the show credit for honestly portraying the condition of women who decide to postpone marriage and family in favor of career.

Apparently, these three women are dating experts. Julia has been writing columns about dating for more than a decade. Amy runs a successful matchmaking service. Emily hosts a radio talk show where she talks dirty and presents herself as a sex expert.

If they are experts, they must have an audience. That implies that other women take them seriously. A frightening thought all by itself.

They hand out indifferent, but not entirely bad advice, and then fail to follow it.

How many men want to marry a woman who cannot follow rules, thus, who has no discipline and self-control?

She can be the most beautiful woman in the world, but serious character flaws will make it impossible for her to sustain a relationship.

To me the most amazing of the many frightening parts of the show is that none of these women knows how to conduct an adult conversation on a date.

Admittedly, they are having faux-dates with men who are obviously embarrassed for them, but these dating experts seem to believe that conversation involves a mix of interrogation, criticism and self-criticism.

You cannot have a successful date or a meaningful relationship if you cannot connect with another human being. These women cannot.

Half of the time it looks as though they have skipped the preliminaries and are now negotiating price. I assume that this makes them think that they are liberated.

Julia is so frenzied on her dates that she becomes overbearing and obnoxious.

She seems to have bought the feminist line (EDS: No, she’s just a complete self-obsessed buffoon) that women should be upfront, straightforward and take initiatives, so she does nothing but take initiatives… to the point of making herself look like a perfect fool.

Desperate people do desperate things.

Matchmaker Amy has a great record fixing up couples. She offers dating and relationship guidelines that seem to be sane and sensible.

When it comes to following the rules herself, she recites the relevant rule and then proceeds to break it.

She dates men she knows she should not be dating and spends her time with them showing that they should not be out on a date. Then she goes home and feels badly if they haven’t called.

Emily is a sexpert, so when she goes out on a romantic date with a childhood crush, the man is drooling over the chance to test out some of her advanced sexual skills.

He is not thinking about bringing her home to mother.

When Emily and David start their first make-out session the first four letter word that pops up is… you guessed it, ANAL

How romantic is that?

To return the favor and to introduce gender parity, Emily introduces the topic of pegging.

At least, they both seem to be on the same page. Do you think that this man, a divorced father, is thinking of introducing her to his children?

Imagine the scene. His eight-year-old son or daughter blurts out: Emily, what is pegging?

Since Emily seems to like this guy and to want her sexual encounter to mean something, she will, according to the show’s previews, spend the next episode kissing other men.

As I said, these women are so pathetic that the show is painful to watch.

Why are they pathetic?

When you suffer as many romantic traumas as these women have, the net effect is that your instincts become unreliable. You switch into trauma-avoidance mode and your first priority will be to do anything in your power not to have it happen again. You are not likely to know that this is what you are doing. It is a bad habit, with a life of its own, one that is very hard to break.

If you fail to connect, you will not be hurt as much as you would have been if you had loved and lost. If you do connect you will try to find a reason to break up with him before he breaks up with you. Because you know that he will inevitably break up with you.

 None are as painful to watch as Julia Allison.

In one episode she goes out with a man who seems perfectly presentable. Within seconds she announces that she does not find him to be sexually attractive.

OK, well and good. It’s her prerogative.

But then, she asks him if he might drop by the next day to help her to move into her new apartment.

He does as she requests, and naturally, asks her out afterwards. She refuses, and tells him that, after all, she has no feelings for him and will never have any feelings for him.

Translation: she was just using him, because what other purpose would he have in life but to be used by Julia Allison.

Julia is using this man to even a score against some other man who hurt her. The other man is not around, so why not punish the man who is around.

We are not talking about good character here.

And then there’s the story of Julia’s ill-fated romance with Jack McCain, son of former presidential candidate John McCain, scion of one of America’s great military families.

Apparently, the blogosphere is full of rumors about how Julia’s bad behavior caused the relationship to go sour. Many of them are chronicled in a blog called: Reblogging Donk.

On Miss Advised Julia takes serious exception to the charges. She explains that she, herself, of her own volition chose to break up with Jack McCain because being the wife of a helicopter pilot would interfere with her career, or something.

Let’s see: the scion of one of America’s great families is being reduced to just another helicopter pilot.

Then again, when she started dating Jack McCain, wasn’t he a helicopter pilot? Why did she not think about this sooner? (EDS: Because it is a huge lie, a dishonest, face-saving cover story)

Keep in mind that England’s Prince William, the one who just celebrated the first anniversary of his marriage to Kate Middleton is also a helicopter pilot.

How come Kate Middleton did not bail out on Prince William because he was just a helicopter pilot?

But then, Julia also claims that she worried that being the wife of a helicopter pilot would compromise her ambition, or something.

In one sense, she’s right. If she got married, her star-spangled career as a dating columnist, would, hopefully, be over. And her career as an over-exposed internet celebrity would also be over.

But, wherever do you think she got the idea that she should put career ahead of marriage and family? (EDS: Don’t pin her bullshit on feminist ideals, Stu. SHE’S LYING. Also: Shut up on this front. Nothing wrong with choosing a career. But that’s not JA’s issue.)

As I said, Julia and her friends are living the feminist nightmare. They are offering a cautionary tale. At the least, it’s an honest portrayal of what happens to far too many young women who get caught up in the wrong culture and take the wrong advice. (EDS: Wrong. Don’t confuse a mentalcase with a victim of an ideology. She’s as much a feminist as I am a Syrian freedom fighter. Stop it, Stu) 

 

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160 Responses to Even An Anti-Feminist Life Coach Gives a Donkey Better Advice Than The Usual Grifters

  1. CDB says:

    Jacy, First I want to say how much I have missed you. And Second, so happy you are back (see what i did there?)

  2. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    Oh my lover.

    I have been without power, cable, phone or Internet for a week. That’s been fun.

    • MissDespised is the New JA Pilot says:

      ah so you w in a Donkety nightmare?

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I want to understand this.

        • Should I be scairt? Cuz I think I understood it … :-)

          Where would D0nkety be w/out the trappings of her electronic toys? Remember how enraged D0nkety was when astrologyzone.com’s website was down & she couldn’t get her whore-0-scope, so she tweeted that their IT guy (Tom?) needed to be fired?

    • CDB says:

      You are in DC? I thought you were in Eastern Europe!

    • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

      I can’t believe Pepco got our power back up in 5 hours. I did have to spend two days with a chainsaw clearing downed trees and branches though.

      • cupcake cray cray says:

        I count myself blessedly lucky that I didn’t lose power. but I think god kind of had to give me that, because I was out driving when the storm hit, trying to get from arlington back to montgomery county, took a wrong turn and ended up in DC, and then, when I got back on the other side of the river, ended up sitting on the GW parkway because of all the downed trees blocking traffic. I ended up turning around and going back to arlington–total miles driven: six. total hours in the car: two. number of times I thought “omg I am going to die”: too many to count.

        • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

          We were at the Kentlands listening to music. We left when I saw the lightning, and it hit five minutes after we got home. I was lucky because I had the top down on the Jeep.

  3. monster (Single and Mingle) says:

    I don’t get the part where he is like “if she gets married, her career as a dating columnist would be over.” –

    the point of a career, dating columnist or otherwise, is that you sustain it (usually) after you are married. A woman just doesn’t get married these days and quits her job to run the home. If Julia were a legitimate ‘dating expert’ or ‘journalist’ her career would be a part of her identity by now – she would be good at it and could sustain it when she got married – you don’t lose your ability to give relationship advice because you are married. The problem is that Julia has (poorly) simulated these careers – when she gets married all she will have to do is enact 1940s housewife (which will be great! because she is a great cook! and not at all lazy! and doesn’t need taskrabbit to unpack things or clean or organize!)

    • D says:

      I agree with what you are saying, but I still think the article is onto something. Basically these women are buffoons. But, in Julia’s case, you are right on that she’s never really cared about having a career. Just the appearance of one. Anyone who writes for a living or has attempted to knows that there are very few people, relatively speaking, who can do it and live on only their writing alone. Many are also editing, teaching, working some other day job, or are part of a dual income household that can balance out the crappy pay (among other odd jobs, etc). Outside of the Star gig, which is the only real job she’s had that paid her a living wage, and a decent one at that, I think she got into journalism b/c she thought it was glamorous! And when she caught her wallet he would support her, while it still looked like she worked.

      Additionally, funny thing about being a writer/digital nomad is that you can work from anywhere! That’s part of the appeal, no? So all this bullshit about how she couldn’t move to Guam with Jack is just that, shit. I’ve been to Guam, it’s not exactly New York or L.A. but they aren’t talking out of coconut phones over there. It’s a perfectly functional mid-sized city. Like Cleveland or something. I see no reason she couldn’t have kept her TMS column, especially with the Q&A format they moved to and live in Guam if she really wanted. You know, if she weren’t a lazy, crazy, donkey always looking for the bigger, better, score.

      And I can’t wait till this shit show is over and all we hear from Julia is how much we didn’t see off camera that justified her behavior on camera. Racist or not, there was no reason not to take the high road and just cut off that dude from episode one if she was so disgusted with him. But no, it’s okay to use him for manual labor, then dump him b/c he’s supposedly racist. See how that works everybody?

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        The key point is that Jack dumped HER. He didn’t want her. You bet your ass she would have married him if she could have.

  4. Random Snowflake says:

    This was good. Julia is completely fucking crazy, and anyone who watches that miserable show know it.

    Julia dumped the son of a Senator and former Presidential candidate because his work would prevent her from being on a barely-watched C-rate reality show. RIGHT.

    Work on your alibi some more girl.

  5. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    The one thing Stu says I really like is that the women have suffered so much romantic trauma their instincts have been destroyed. He’s right about them being dead at the level of instinct, but romantic trauma has been INFLICTED by them, I suspect, rather than endured.

  6. Albie Quirky says:

    This stupid fuck just uses “feminism” as a blanket term for “ladies I don’t like.”

    • Nefertiri says:

      Agreed. Stu is a tool of the highest order.

    • I don’t do labels & therefore am admittedly obtuse to all ‘feminism’ entails, but yeah, this statement of Stu’s really went all over me: “Give the show credit for honestly portraying the condition of women who decide to postpone marriage and family in favor of career.”

      Women who, for assorted & sundry reasons, don’t opt for marriage & ‘family’ (I’m compelled to assume that Stu thinks women don’t have legitimate ‘family’ until & unless they have a husband, in-laws & biological kids) have a ‘condition’?

      Is there an ICD-9 code for that gender-specific ‘condition’, Stu?

      • Preacher Jim says:

        Yes hallelujah! 301.9 Chronic Aggressive Misguided Spinsteristic Personality Disorder. And may I add: with a side of disobedience to the Good Book! God bless you, Brother Stuart! Preach on against the evils of women thinking for theirselves…agin their evil envy of our Packages! Amen and selah.

    • diluted brain says:

      Agree!

      I get nothing out of this article. She’s not a feminist and perhaps she’s endured enough romantic trauma – but that is her own fault.

  7. Little Orphan Lilly says:

    Ugh, this dickhead doesn’t deserve our pageviews. He doesn’t like Julia Allison, and every once in a while one of his misogynist rantings lands relatively near something based in reality…but the rest of the time he’s being a gigantic woman-fearing moron of the first order, and just because he dislikes someone I also dislike doesn’t mean he’s in the clubhouse.

    And for that matter, when it comes to how they see relationships between men and women working and where power is located, JABA and this fucking loon actually aren’t all that different. He just doesn’t like that she talks about blowjobs while she’s enacting the same deeply sexist paradigms he’s clinging to.

    • They Call Me Jack says:

      Response of the day. Stu’s piece might as well have been written by some hack over at Esquire in the early 1970s–it’s that dated and embarrassing and ill-informed. He doesn’t realize Julie is his dream girl and he her mystery date!

  8. Donkeycam Now! says:

    Donks is part of the entitled generation that were told by their semi-rich parents that they were special and deserved the best every time, without making any effort on their part to get it.

    They see the world as a marketplace and believe everything is a commodity, but then they try to have a relationship with the checkout girl or the meat-counter boy and they are unfulfilled because they can’t connect.

    They will spend their lives looking for that elusive perfect partner, friend, house, vacation destination, meal, neighborhood, pet etc and we’ll never realize that life is short and youth is fleeting and that they are chasing one big shiny mirage.

    Of course, all of the above has nothing to do with feminism.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      This. This is her problem. And what I gathered from the article is that Stu really needs to stick his penis in a vagina that he didn’t have to pay for, but that he is strangely unable to find one.

      • Preacher Jim says:

        Oooooooo though Sodomite. Thou should stop laying abed with others of the O-ring pirate persuasion and follow thine own advice. BEHOLD AND HALLELUJAH thou would experience the miracle of the ole fashioned “ho house cure for nancy boys” . Amen and amen. Plus your mama would be so proud.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        OMG I am howling. I love my lover.

    • AFGHANI says:

      I think this is basically it. Julia has some personality issues on top of the parental “training”, too.

  9. frequent liar miles says:

    Unfortunately, Donkey will take it as a compliment that she has been reviled by this anti-feminist old coot. Just like at Georgetown, where she clashed with the authorities not because she was a lying, plagiarizing, Donkey but because she was a serious liberal feminist whose ideology was a threat to theirs.

    • AFGHANI says:

      This guy’s feminist angle is so “off”. None of these 3 are feminists.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        This. Stuart’s article is so wrong that I wouldn’t put it past him to write about how Phillis Schiafly’s feminism is ruining her life.

        • A Donkey is an Ass says:

          Oh, Greg! Don’t even get me started on the Schlafly klan. They’re amongst a select group of people more, ahem, repugnant than A Donkey.

        • Grammarian says:

          phyllis schlafly, who did speaking tours around the country telling women to stay home

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            A million years ago I was a high school intern for the Women’s Caucus of my state legislature. we used to have a framed political cartoon saying just that. She is a hypocrite of the highest order.

  10. ShesJustStupid says:

    So jabs was up all night tweeting? She references her “therapist” teaching her that she’s not fat and is fine just how she is. She mentioned in a previous tweet RE someone who said she looked like Lana Del Ray that LDR was thinner. God, she’s so shallow. I always found it hard to believe that of all the things said about her on here, the faux fat jokes got to her the most. Her real problems are much bigger than her thighs.

    Also, I think we can now confirm that Lalalalala is her “therapist.”

    • diluted brain says:

      Imaging her braying and yelling at the therapist’s office? She’s so annoying.

    • Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison What I learned from my therapist today: I don’t need to lose weight. Turns out, I’m okay just the way I am now. Related: self-esteem is fun!

      I think we can now confirm that Lalalalala is her “therapist.”

      Not so fast, Buckaroo. This may just be more of D0nkey’s delusional spin; I wouldn’t be at all surprised if what really transpired is that an actual medical doctor denied D0nkey’s demand for Adderall …

      My memory’s vague on this now, but there was something D0nkey tweeted way, way back when about haterz tweeting to her that she was fat & along the lines of related anxiety to that, she got an Rx from a never-before-seen-by-her NYC doc while she was briefly back in town — a twitter search of @juliaallison at that time turned up a couple of tweets along those lines made by brand new acct’s, & it all seemed a little too-contrived by a scheme juiced weasel as a ploy to convince the new doc of the hour that D0nkey was oh-so-bullied.

      • Grammarian says:

        Being a few pounds over the ideal BMI never hurt anyone

        Being delusional about every aspect of life is a separate issue

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I am pretty sure her BMI is below 25.

          But she’s in terrible physical shape in terms of stamina, as we see from those bike-riding videos. Being fit isn’t the same as not being fat.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Apparently Julia is currently seeing an honest to god therapist and has been doing so since filming ended.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          That therapist is going to need a therapist STAT.

        • Be that as it may, I wouldn’t put it past D0nkey to be gaming the system either — presumably her honest-to-greg therapist is w/in commuting distance of Marina yel Bray & does not accompany her on pointless trips coast-to-coast?

          Do grifters pay out-of-pocket for an out-of-network therapist in another city while traveling? Doubtful. On the other hoof, doc-shopping new docs (who can write the Rx scrips that therapists can’t) & paying O-0-P is pretty standard M.O. drug-seeking behavior of people wanting to avoid a paper-trail of meds prescribed (plenty of docs will make patients sign agreements to get med Rx’d by one doc only & scrips filled by one pharmacy only, for precisely this reason).

          Just saying …

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          For Donkey’s sake, I hope she’s seeing a female therapist. Donkey would just spend all her time with a male therapist trying to convince him that she is Zooey Deschanel.

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            Didn’t we agree that therapy will be a disaster because of her NPD. Sounds like it’s going swimmingly..”I don’t need to lose weight..I’m fine JUST THE WAY I AM!”

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            Hoping what her therapist ACTUALLY said was “Your weight is the very least of your problems, you personality disordered asshole.”

    • Not that D0nkey is playing along here or anything like that

      Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
      My college bulimia (a little blast from Jan 2009), relevant again today because I’ve been thinking about body image – [link redacted]

      … but she sure is working hard to convince someone of something legit …

      • Busted-face D0nkiey is getting busted on Twitter as well …

        Lauren Cahn ‏@YogaChickie A NYC therapist who makes wknd hours for randoms who don’t work M-thru-F and don’t even live here? Julia Allison lies again! #MissAdvised

        #TeamLaurenCahn

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Maybe Donkey omitted a space and meant she’s seeing the rapist. Anyone know if Tucker Max is in town?

        • Total Jing says:

          I hear she is seeing a therapist. And not that I am standing up for the donks, oh god no, but my therapist does see patients on Sundays. She does TH-T; jeez god I hope Jules and I aren’t seeing the same person!

        • What Would Kate Middleton Do? (Stripper Shoes) says:

          Rumor has it that Miss Cahn is an obese basement-dwelling hater whose only friend’s are her 17 cats. Ok bunnies!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo.

    • bitchface says:

      [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/eitqhu.jpg[/img]

  11. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Other than coming close to but not actually saying “licence is not freedom”, this asshole doesn’t know shit about women with careers, feminism, television or, I’m going to guess, blowjobs. Julia Allison a succesful career, it is to larf. And naturally any women who puts the career first or take sexual perogatives is a crazy bint with some kind of sex/dating column/business/radio show? How fuck indeed.

    Julia, Emily and Amy are the uppermost level of the bottom of the barrel, just like all reality stars. That are not emblematic of women in general or feminists or women who work as dating columnists and sex therapists or even women who for Christ’s sake like the color pink.

    TL; DR, this guy is a oinking, sexless ass who last got play during the Orson Wells’ broadcast of “War of the Worlds” when the 16-year old he was snogging in the Model T thought they were going to die anyway.

  12. Grammarian says:

    Failing at life is not because of feminism

  13. juliaspublicist says:

    I’m still waiting for my fucking sandwich.

  14. A Donkey is an Ass says:

    Stu: You keep using this word, “feminism”. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      He keeps trying to tout Julia et al as feminist exemplars while conceding that their primary goal is to find a husband. What??

      Anti-feminist Stuart happens to be mostly right about Julia et al precisely because these women aren’t feminists. If they were, manhunting would not be their primary occupation. Stuart seems to have very little insight into how feminism has corrupted these women’s lives and thinking. His most astute analyses (not saying much) are all about how being spoiled, insufficiently feminist manhunting weasels has stood between these women and the objects of their non-feminist desires.

      Stuart is a fucking shallow moron. And I say this as someone with my own objections to modern feminist thinking, principally because I’m a poorly socialized contrarian, and people who think their extremely unscientific opinions are The Truth (and have as a central tenet of their worldview that disagreeing with them makes you not only wrong, but a bad person) make me stabby.

  15. ShesJustStupid says:

    If she has a real therapist then she must have called him/her on the phone because she’s in NYC at the moment. Also she claimed that she learned she’s not fat from this therapist on a Saturday. I still think she’s referring to Lalalalala.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Or Erin Pavlina, who is a plump lady herself (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

      • AFGHANI says:

        And Erin Pavlina’s husband left her when she got “plump”, yet he said something new-age-y as an excuse. What an asshole that Steve Pavlina is. Hasn’t Donkey learned all these people are charlatans?

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      “Also she claimed that she learned she’s not fat from this therapist on a Saturday. I still think she’s referring to Lalalalala.”

      Funny, I learned from Lalalalala that I have not been recently exhumed. Bitch makes Wednesday Addams look like Violet Beauregard after the stick of gum.

  16. Anon says:

    I think a lot of Julia’s pathology comes from her unfortunate luck at being born very mediocre to parents who were smart (and if not smart, they certainly had an easy time distinguishing themselves in the world). That moment where she bizarrely cries about her mom being a speech writer was her crying about not being that talented, thought she would never say it (because she is the opposite of self-aware). Her behavior is all about trying to seek praise according to whatever fucked up rubric has in her head for measuring success. She applies that to other people (men) and sees them as a commodity instead of a human being. I would venture to say Robin and Peter never said, hey Julia, you’re ok just the way you are (when she was very young, before all the nuttiness set in). It sounds trite, but that goes a long way in raising someone to be happy, or not be a terrible human being. All of the incessant ‘trying’ on the part of Julia to be a pretty pretty princess (when she is clearly a blunt, raucous woman) really speaks volumes about her level of dysfunction. Shit goes deep, and if she is serious about the therapy, then maybe she could (hypothetically) re-raise herself to be a human being and not a wildly unfulfilled ego.

    I say this as someone (who is in therapy) and broke up with perfectly nice people, is studying way too hard in school, and having health problems all because of some inextricable need to appease narcissistic parents. I don’t think she’s an angel, but it’s very reductive to say this is the result of privilege. Sometimes, privilege can fuck you up even worse.

    • Anon says:

      er, my point being this guy misses the boat completely… feminism has nothing to with Julia.

    • Grammarian says:

      sequel show: working in a supermarket at the checkout counter and living on that paycheck.

    • bitchface says:

      Julia has stated that her grandmother basically told ways and how important it was for her to snag a man and that’s the message she took from that bygone era RIP NGMB

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      This is an excellent point and well made. I would add, however, that narcissism itself is at the root of trying to please narcissistic parents, because children with strong ego structures simply don’t care after a certain point.

      My opinion about Robin and Pettifogger varies from most RBDers, maybe because I have grown children of my own. I think they’re in way over their heads with a child like Julia, who probably wasn’t lovable when she was small, was unpopular and desperate to be so in school, misbehaved in early romantic relationships, suffered no boundary gladly, was and is crushingly vain. As she aged all of those traits aged with her and none of them well, until she is now universally pitied, if not despised. Two Republicans, one of whom was a Nixon speechwriter for a bright minute and the other an attorney, both from the Midwest: do you suppose they brought a lot of psychological sophistication to the table in rearing her? I really don’t care what their personalities are — a child like Julia would be an absolute mystery to most people, and an adult like her is a nightmare. Anything they said suggesting she wasn’t pleasing them would have been blown up and played out way beyond the usual push-pull of parent-child relationships, in order to justify whatever she wanted at the time. And I think we should remember, too, that Julia’s nature seems unswerving where accomplishment is concerned. She wants to be praised around the clock for doing NOTHING. She will never be satisfied with less, so any therapeutic claim she makes about not being loved enough by Mommy and Daddy will always be bullshit (in therapeutic terms), even if there’s a shred of truth there.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        I should clarify what I mean about Republicans from the Midwest, as I was raised by Republicans from the Midwest and my entire extended family is still there. In my experience such people don’t tend to reach out for psychological help (sometimes ever) and certainly not in the realm of childrearing. No matter what, such bootstrappers have complete confidence they know what they’re doing in all matters. I didn’t intend anything hateful in my original comment.

        • Beauchamp says:

          Only you would waste all that time writing all that ridiculous, self-important psychobabble about one moron reviewing a another moron on a stupid reality show that nobody watches or cares about.

          Fuck the acronyms and big words you all throw around dissecting Julia’s personality all the time. Who cares? NPD this…DSM IV that…it’s all crap.

          Sometimes a chick is a cunt. Period. In my experience, there is no cure for cuntiness, so stop labeling her problems and making them sound like diseases. She’ll be a cunt til the day she dies….lonely and alone. I take simple pleasure in that fact.

          Don’t bother with your usual indignant ranting at this post because I don’t check back. I got shit to do.

          • NonSobriety says:

            Only you would waste all that time writing all that ridiculous, self-important preaching about one moron reviewing a another morons review of another moron on a stupid website that you clearly care about. [Note: I don’t think you’re a moron, Handbag. I just say.]

            Fuck the remedial vocabulary and predictable words you throw around dissecting Julia’s personality and commenters all the time. Who cares? It’s all crap.

            Sometimes you are a cunt. Period. In my experience, there is no cure for cuntiness, so stop labeling. You’ll be a cunt til the day you die….lonely and alone. I take simple pleasure in that fact.

            Don’t bother with your usual indignant ranting at this post because though I’ll check back, it won’t phase me in the least. I got shit to do but it’s Sunday and I don’t feel like it.

            There, I fixed that for ya.

          • AFGHANI says:

            Hmmm… I spoke too early when I said people might listen to Handbag rather than jump on the “GOP from the Midwest” angle.

          • AFGHANI says:

            This comment is kind of funny coming from someone who thinks his wife is EVIL because she is a lawyer. And also has said he wouldn’t care if she died a painful death, etc etc.

            In other words, calm the fuck down, Matt.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            How DARE you. No one talks to my Handbag like that.

            Pistols at dawn.

            I said good day, sir. I said good day!

          • frequent liar miles says:

            Wait– I thought you were dead?!

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Sorry everyone.

            I should have also backed up the truck.

        • AFGHANI says:

          I so agree with this and you said it much better than anyone else here ever has. And, quite deservedly, you get to make your point about “Republicans from the Midwest” and have people listen, rather than attack.

          By nature, some people are less likely to adapt or seek help. The Baugher parents are from a slightly different time–When Pettifogger went to P and then YLS, there were either a) no women or b) few women. It’s surely a mark of shame that P was all-male until the early/mid 70s. It was just very different back then, I can’t imagine having 2 sets of “tracks” in life–one for girls, one for boys. My dad went to a college that was all-male until ~1980 and similarly never understood any girls I dated… not that he was overtly sexist, but definitely wasn’t living in the “real world” that was changing around him. John McCain is another example of this… we could go on and on.

          A separate but possibly-related issue is that Robin wasn’t allowed over her mother in law’s house (Nutty Grandma) and didn’t talk to her for decades? Definitely some weird things going on. And yet, of course, no help was sought.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          (Momsers grew up in CA. i just say.)

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          This was quite brilliant.

          Hush, Beauchamp!

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            Matt don’t check back, yo. He’s got shit to do.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Burying the last hooker who got all in his face about actually paying takes the whole friggin’ night.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        This rings true to me re: Julia. Also, re: her saying her therapist said she is fine the way she is weight wise – while true – I wonder if Julia found the perfect co-conspirator, i.e. a therapist who just tells you, always, “You are fine the way you are.”

        Now that I am with a competent therapist, I want all the money back I ever spent on my “You’re fine the way you are” therapist – there will be no growth, only pacification with a shrink like that.

        • Fameless Shamewhore says:

          I second your view on therapy.

          Before I went into analysis, I *did* think that therapy was all about having this private ally who would listen to my sob stories and be totally sympathetic and just completely “there” for me. I suppose when people warned me, “Therapy is hard”, I assumed it was because you would have to talk in detail about all the sad, sad things that had happened to you and all the mean, mean things your (in my case) mother had done to you and that this would all be painful to relive, but cathartic because the therapist would be there to say “Awwwww, poor, poor you…” So I would have thought that Julia’s therapist telling her “You’re great the was you are” was perfectly ordinary and just how it works.

          Of course, I had a rude awakening when I finally started. The sessions were completely focussed on me, yes, but on my *shit* and the many, many ways in which I was screwed up. Above all, my therapist helped me to take responsibility for my life. That was the key lesson that transformed my life: she forced me to recognise that I had complete control over how I move through my life, and that every moment of every day I have a choice as to how I behave and how I react. So what was “hard” about therapy was having all my mental crutches and all my tedious excuses, all my “it’s-not-my-fault”s exposed and removed.

          This has always seemed to me to be a key problem with Julia. NOTHING is ever her fault or her responsibility. For example, IIRC in last week’s Spreecast, when Cesca commented that the phrase “kiss-raping” was offensive, Julia’s IMMEDIATE reaction was to write that Toilet Julia used the phrase first. That this answer (on the level of a six-year-old) should be her first response was very telling imo.

          • AFGHANI says:

            Re: the last sentence… a surprisingly high % of adults have this as their first reaction. Sad indeed.

        • idiotbox says:

          The thing about Julia’s body is that she wants to have a model-esque body but it’s impossible. She isn’t fat – I know we tease her, cause she’s insane, but I don’t think I would even call her “chubby.” She dresses as if she is rail-thin and that’s why her body looks horrific. So, if she is seeing a therapist, I sure as hell hope they would tell her that she looks fine and her weight is fine and that’s the least of her problems. Doesn’t mean he/she won’t call her out on her complete insanity….

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Look at her during the confessionals. If she’s not putting on the chunk, she’s inhaling lots of salt.

  17. NonSobriety says:

    Feminism means nothing more or less than equal rights for women.

    Jesus fuck. It gives me the rages when people project all their own issues onto a word that I now hate to use because it’s so misunderstood that it’s become distracting to it’s own cause.

    • NonSobriety says:

      it’s / its

    • AFGHANI says:

      I think you could expand your definition to include that feminism would also incorporate political action and government policies that aim to bring about the equal rights. We can differ on the extent to which the government needs to make or enforce such laws, but I think that’s a legitimate critique of feminism. In other words, all but a few mouth-breahers here in the US agree that women should have equal rights, but it’s a much closer question on certain methods towards realizing the goal. For example, I can see a legitimate debate about whether religious institutions should be required to offer birth control as part of their health plan. Personally, I think they should offer it, but I can see why people wouldn’t want the government telling, for example, a Catholic university what to do.

      • Grammarian says:

        there is no legitimate debate on whether religious institutions should be required to offer birth control as part of their health plan.

        people are free to use the services or not use them, but there is no legitimate debate on offering them

        any debate that suggests not offering them okay endorses theocratic rule over employees

        don’t want birth control? don’t have any.

        but you can’t exclude it from your plan

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Christian Science institutions could by that logic offer their employees no health plans at all. That would be stupid. Jehovah’s Witness institutions could by that logic refuse to obtain coverage for their employees’ blood transfusions. Again, stupid.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Sorry, meant to reply to Afghani’s post. It doesn’t make any sense for an employer to offer only certain subsets of health care to employees, even when that employer is a religious organization.

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            Should mosques and synagogues have to serve pork to their non-Muslim/non-Jewish employees?

            Sentient adults who go to work for the Catholic Church know the church’s position on birth control, and should factor that in before accepting a job there.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            There are small cities where the only hospitals are owned by the Catholic Church. It’s not just actual churches that they want the exemption to cover, it’s all organizations owned by the church.

            So is it OK with you for the Christian Science Monitor not to offer any health care at all to its employees?

          • Queen Neferteeri says:

            If someone doesn’t believe in the basic tenets of a religion, why would he or she want to work for that religion’s organization?

  18. Hugh Chardon says:

    As noted I would do in my first money shot in yesterday’s comment thread, I watched the show finally this morning. (yeah…l’m late to the fun). I kept thinking there must be some underlying meaning in Miss Advised, such as what it’s like being a woman in today’s culture. I am a guy with two daughters, which affects my perception on shit like this. By the end credits, tossed it up to being a view of three train wrecks, the most painful one being JA’s. I can’t turn away, so I have set the DVR for the next episode.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      Really? Because the show is BORING. I have no intention of watching tomorrow.

      • This one is a no-boner says:

        I had the misfortune of being in a hotel room during the premiere episode. No fast fast forward and I had to watch the commercials, too! I couldn’t wait to see Julia on screen… LONGEST hour of my life. DVR from here on out. Amy and Emily should be renamed: Fast and Forward. Miss Jules always the delightful dunce! Miss Advised 2: Zzzzzzzzz.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          ‘Amy and Emily should be renamed: Fast and Forward’

          this just made LOL. in the car. by myself.

      • AFGHANI says:

        I haven’t lasted more than 15-20 consecutive minutes in any one viewing, but I’ve probably seen 80% of the scenes. There’s always something I can’t stand and I have to change the channel

      • idiotbox says:

        Amen, hermano. Even the last episode was terrible and it was about us, and I love us (who doesn’t?). It made me pity donkey. See what you did, Bravo? Why isn’t there a single person in her life who’d tell her she is acting like an idiot?

  19. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Donkey is up 6,000 Twitter followers since yesterday. Must be all those fans from Miss Advised. Weird, her FB is only up 400 subscribers but she is up 50,000 Twitter follows since Miss Advised #ad started.

  20. This one is a no-boner says:

    On Topic: JA saw her therapist in New York on a Saturday? ‘my therapist’ blah blah blah. A therapist? In a city in which she doesn’t reside? Who is she, Gloria Vanderbilt? Fucking liar.

    Off Topic: I am ze Frahhnce right now and just gave a le chat an entire roti poulet carcass. I loves le chats (et you Le Chat Ladies!). Now, am I killing it by giving it this grease laden feast? Or will it be thankful for ever and ever? Am I making it sick for a week ? Or will it need a ciggie after? Halp!

    • This one is a no-boner says:

      100% on topic: feminism as it pertains to Julia Allison? Hold on while I bulimia in the shower.

    • New Year New You says:

      Give le chat some vin rouge to wash it down, it will be fine.

    • frequent liar miles says:

      well, on the subject of cats and chicken (and France, too), Colette in one of her memoirs describes the death of one of her beloved cats who choked on a bone — the moment he realizes that he is a goner, his eyes intensify radically in their greenness. Never gave any cats bones thereafter (though logically I think they’re safe; cats can take care of themselves above all species, I am convinced. Just never could get that image out of my head.)

      • This one is a no-boner says:

        Oh, shoot me now. This’ll be a long night. Hope he’s stuffed (but A-OK) in the morning…

  21. Pink Palatian says:

    Anyone see her Facebook post about how she signed her contract a year ago today and had been working for exactly eight years to be on the teevees?

    http://m.facebook.com/?_rdr#!/story.php?story_fbid=10100157636422155&id=1402715&__user=32815327

    It is to laugh. Ss/sf if the link doesn’t work. I’m on my phone and it’s all I have. :)

    • The Final Rose says:

      Oh my God, it’s worth a read just to see Donk flyoff the handle when one her friends dares to suggest that getting on a reality show is not an example of success. (And also, Julia, I don’t care what nomenclature you use – people are derisive about the premise and subjects of a documentary series/reality show, not the noun.)

      Julia Allison No, all of those pilots but one were NOT documentary series (“reality shows”). I was referring to getting a tv show, period.

      Julia Allison Plus, Kristen, you’re missing the point. The point isn’t whether or not you find value in reality shows, but how much work goes into them – pitching them, getting them and making them. If you had any idea what my producers do and what I have done, the sheer creative persistence in the face of overwhelming odds, you wouldn’t be so dismissive.

      • idiotbox says:

        Who the hell does this Kristin chick think she is? Why the hell isn’t she DYING of jealousy and admiration for donkey’s dedication and talent?! Someone is a fat jelly catlover!

        • idiotbox says:

          my avatar is clearly displeased by my inability to spell my email address correctly…

      • Pink Palatian says:

        Also note how she says she’s had a number of pilots or “presentations,” which could mean anything, right? (The OWN thing was a video she made and sent in, right?)

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        “the sheer creative persistence in the face of overwhelming odds”

        ohmigreg, it is to laugh! and laugh and laugh some more!

      • cupcake cray cray says:

        she’s totally lying when she tries to dress down kristen, anyway.

        I shot my first pilot ever (for Animal Planet) in June of 2004. It involved dogs picking your dates. Don’t ask. (Although honestly, with my romantic history, perhaps I SHOULD have had my dog pick my date.)

        In the years since I have shot no less than seven pilots or presentations – including one for E!, one for Oxygen, one for A&E, one for OWN, and one for Yahoo (where I hosted a questionably titled pilot called “The Dating Detective” in which the title sequence involved me holding up a magnifying glass. I mean, really?? I am not proud.)

        My first pilot for Bravo was shot in 2008 (a reality show with Meghan Asha & Mary Rambin) and my second pilot for Bravo in 2009 (a late night talk show with Bethenny Frankel, Simon Doonan, and others). Neither was picked up (obviously).

        and yet in the comment to kristen she says that only ONE of those pilots was for a reality series. dogs picking your dates sounds a whole lot like a reality show to me. the reality show with meghan and mary is another. we know that her ‘presentation’ or pilot for OWN was submitted for “your OWN show,” and, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t the premise of that where it was a reality show/competition to select a winner who would host his/her own show? her pilot for “miss advised” was also for a reality show…so I’m counting four right there. E!, Oxygen, A&E…what else would she be producing as a ‘pilot’ for them, besides a reality show?

        dude, why is everything out of her mouth a lie?

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Of course if someone points that out to her on her wall, she’ll just delete it. The lying all the time over things that are such obvious lies has always perplexed me about her. Why? And how does she keep them all straight?

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          lying donkey is lying. she also left out the time she went to an MMA fight to shoot a pilot, and the two separate pilots she went to LA to shoot in the past few years (one about fashion, the other was a dating gameshow).

          • Albie Quirky says:

            What about when she went to Comic Con and wore her tiara upside down? Was that a pilot?

            Also, who brags about auditioning for things they didn’t get, anyway?

  22. So no steak and a blowjob for Stu? His Fridays must suck *not literally*

  23. ShesJustStupid says:

    Re: her latest tweet–WHY is she always at the Standard? Or MPD? I swear to Greg, she’s the most insecure/incurious person I’ve ever known who has actually lived in NYC . It’s unreal.

  24. JuliaAblertsonsTherapist says:

    I work on Saturdays and I own a Yacht…yummy PB money

Comments are closed.