My, you Jesus-needing fatties have been busy being poster shitheads for everything that is wrong in the world for viewers who believe everything they see on heavily fabricated, mindless reality television. What deeply disturbing psychological issues you must have! Oh, the humanity you obviously are lacking! You people are sad, pathetic stalkers with incredibly boring lives, and I can only imagine the immense self-loathing you must have for yourselves. I am crippled with fear for the impending demise of the human race.
Thankfully, I can find hope in the fact that there are threes of brave, selfless people out there who are so deeply invested in a reality television character that they embarked on a perilous crusade to chastise people who follow that same character online. It’s heroes such as these very, very, very, very few who remind me that we are not all savage hell-bound monsters!
Here’s another email from one of these heroes. Hopefully you will mine through the enthralling prose to find the inspiration to get right with God.
From: Um, what’s your name? <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I must really be bugging you, because you seemed to have blocked me from posting any additional replies. Thank you for the compliment. Best wishes, xoxoxo.
No, THANK YOU, Can I get a what, What?! You have truly earned that smug self-satisfaction! We have been PWND! Clearly, I must delete this blog and exit the internet in shame.
Except for the fact that I have no fucking idea what this loon is talking about. I hadn’t even seen this genius’ comments until I had read this email. And as far as I can tell, neither Jacy nor our dear Professor have blocked anyone by that commenter name or email. Nor did either of them block the corresponding IP address: 18.104.22.168. So it appears you are still free to comment, JiggaWhut. Hooray!
Feel free to rejoin the conversation when you learn how to use the fucking internet.