Miss Advised: “They Call Me Donkey”

Tonight’s the night, angry, sort of sad adults, “you shitheads” and obese, basement-dwelling cat ladies.

And I still can’t watch it. Sob. Only one more week!!!

But I digress. Apparently on tonight’s show, which Donk claims on Twitter she found “very difficult” to watch, she and Lallalady delve into her “haters.” A clip suggests what bugs her most is that we call her a stalker. Yes, how terribly unfair. Emailing the fiancee of an old boyfriend to suggest you were still fucking him after they’d met years earlier isn’t stalker-ish AT ALL. Neither is hacking into your most recent ex’s phone and email and posing as him in response to chicks with whom he was communicating.

I wonder if she’ll mention that she has frequently tried to leak information about her dating life to the people who call her donkey?

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224 Responses to Miss Advised: “They Call Me Donkey”

  1. Mattraction says:

    I’m not in the US right now, either. You need to get a VPN so you can watch from abroad! I use Hotspot Shield but there are many out there.

    PS: I posted this in an earlier thread but it didn’t get enough airtime

    [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/MXmYI.png[/IMG]

  2. Mattraction says:

    argh!

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/MXmYI.png[/img]

  3. Can-Swiss says:

    Jacy you can watch them on iTunes if you have a US account, even if you are abroad. That’s how I’ve seen them. The first one is free, the second one was 2.99.

  4. These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

    The live-blogging here is a thousand times more entertaining than the show itself. Actually, they should run RBD commentary on the bottom of the screen during the broadcast… it’d do wonders for ratings!

  5. CUNTBunnies! says:

    [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/v46i4i.jpg[/img]

    • SchemeyNutButter says:

      CuntBunnies, please edit your wikipedia page to say you recently became engaged to niece of presidential candidate, sister of best-selling author, and friend of a billionaire founder’s brother, SchemeyNutButter. You can edit it out later but I’ll screen cap it so I can add it to my page to prove that for a brief glorious moment I was your betrothed.

    • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

      I was rung!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      You are so fucking ineffable I can hardly stand it.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      I worship the ground you walk on.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      THIS IS A MASTER PIECE – PS on my iPhone it looks like his eyes go wide and then tears come out which would also be accurate – also – I missed the kitten until now!!!

  6. This one is a no-boner says:

    I won’t be able to see this episode as I am away as well (thank Greg for WiFi!). Please keep us all posted during the show!

    If this is her attempt to garner sympathy, then good on her, but we all know she is who she is and this is an act. I was horrified at the portrayal of cray cray Sara Winchester (the drunken wreck from RHOC) but I’m 100% certain editing wasn’t her issue. She is just a complete nut with severe issues, bless her heart. Anywho, even Sara (on her Twitter feed) will get a few off their rocker nutter fans to tweet nice things. It’s really depressing to see that there are people in this world that will tweet to someone they see on the teevees. Sad.com. But! Just like JA, there are literally 1000 to 3 tweets of FUCK YOU YOU INSANE BITCH to YOU’RE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD barfs.

  7. Donkeycam Now! says:

    Is she going to discuss her attempts to shut down this site and her intimidation of the people she thinks post here?

    Yeah, that was a rhetorical question.

  8. stalker is the new fat says:

    I’m so vain, I probably think this post is about me.

    • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

      Crap. Laughed so uncontrollably I spit coffee in the keyboard again! Damn!!

      • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

        I have seen very damn few collaborative efforts that yielded this kind of success! You may all be the gifted and intelligent group of people I’ve ever been around. Hello, Miz Tisdale? Miz Tisdale? Look over here. *This* is where you should be having your reality show, darling.

    • You walked into the party
      Like you were clomping into a stall

      • 11th Wang says:

        Clouds in my blueprint cleanse

      • SchemeyNutButter says:

        Then you strategically friended a Zuckerberg and posted pics on your wall

      • Little Orphan Lilly says:

        I take it given the “you had me several years ago, when I was still quite naive” line that the song is sung by Julia’s original face?

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        …your hair it was apricot
        you had one eye in the mirror as
        you watched yourself pop a squat
        (and all the tech nerds prayed you wouldn’t stalk them, you wouldn’t stalk them…)

        [img]http://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/poopoodonkey.jpg[/img]

        • This one is a no-boner says:

          slain!!!!!!!

          • New Year New You says:

            You’re so slain, you probably think this thread has killed you.
            You’re soooo slain, you prolly think this thread has killed you.
            Donk you? Donk you?

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      I love you all.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      Dear Donkey:
      You’re so lame
      I bet you think this blog is about you,
      don’t you, don’t you?

  9. Random Snowflake says:

    I almost wish I had cable for this episode. :(

    I’ll have to wait a day or two until it’s posted online and just keep an eye on the commentary here tonight in the mean time..

  10. Experienced vanity blog COO looking for work says:

    In my vast experience, anonymous tipping is the best way to deal with haters.

    It’s perfect — you can leak your “big news” and there’s no way to trace it back to you!

    A totally unrelated question: what’s an IP address?

  11. Pelts Off the Charts says:

    Yay! So excited for tonight. Jacy, it sucks that you can’t watch this madness! Especially since the whole series might be canceled before you get back! (although here we are at episode 3…so maybe this will hang on?) I will be in France mid-July so I am going to miss a few eps as well. But it’s true that the catlady live commentary is the best part of the show…i find that i am giving more attention to this site than the tv when the show is on. See you tonight, bitches!

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Screw France, all the cool kids (and big wallets) are going to Burning Man!

      • Skirt Pull says:

        Shakes fist.

      • Meow Mix says:

        I still can’t believe she pulled that with her friend’s bachelorette party in Paris! And she was the maid of honor, too. What a stupid bitch.

        “I’m *cough cough* too sick to go to Paris! Sorry bunny! Off to the desert for a week!”

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          well, technically it was her friend natasha’s 30th birthday party, but still: DONKEY.

        • Peltergeist says:

          I know. I think that was one of the craziest things she’s done (and that’s saying a lot). She would have had actual content on her blog, let alone a good time. Imagine!

      • Pink Palatian says:

        She’s shilling on Twitter for an RV rental for Burning Man. She claims she’s willing to offer “green stuff” — but I don’t think the skin tags really cut it anymore, do they?

  12. virgil reid says:

    as much as the plot is supposed to evoke sympathy for her, it’s the same dead story line like when jill and simon were arguing about twitter haters or a hateblog or something. discussing the internet never makes for good tv unless there are movie clips like youtube involved.

    • Peltergeist says:

      I think so too and that storyline always falls flat unless you’re in-the-know. It really confuses me whenever someone is reading a webpage on a reality show and discussing things “people” have said, and then fighting over it. (At least when it’s a tabloid magazine I have probably seen the cover at the grocery store.) There’s never any backstory and the plot never goes anywhere. I imagine this will be the same.

      • KashMoney says:

        I would usually agree with you but they are intent on revealing her at her worst. i am cautiously optimistic this goes somewhere.

        i am also sure that JAB wouldn’t have expected this to be a storyline. if they ran it by her before filming the segment, she would have thrown a tantrum against having us stealing her spotlight.

        the editing with her and Elle-‘mo (ha, just thought of that) proves they are out to get her.

  13. Donk Julio says:

    Are JA and TJ goig to be doing the spreecast thing again after the show? THAT is where the good stuff is. Looking forward to seeing a lot of cat ladies posting proving and thoroughly non-ironic questions for the two Julia’a to muddle through…

  14. Donk Julio says:

    iPhone. Thumbs. Typos.

  15. MissAssvice says:

    I can’t believe she is trying to make burning man happen again. I also laugh that a NJ wallet offered her his million dollar prevost bus if she coughed up 1600.00 fuel and got a class A license. 

    Anyone have an RV they would rent for Aug 25-Sept 3(ish)? I will give you a multitude of hugs. In addition to that green stuff (“money”).
    2:03am – 1 Jul 12 
    @mrginolucchese @JuliaAllison I have a Prevost Entertainer Coach but you need a class A CDL cost to fuel it is about $800.00 each time
    2:31am – 1 Jul 12

    • emma bourricot says:

      After Julia’s fame as a Bravo reality star and internationally acclaimed relationship columnist is over, getting her CDL may not be a bad idea.

    • Peltergeist says:

      I know someonewho is constantly crowsourcing things and talks like this, and all it’s done is attract loser guys who want to date her and alienate all of her real friends. “I will make you cupcakes and be forever thankful (and oh yeah, pay you).” That translates to “I don’t want to pay you and you’re going to have to ask several times when I try to barter and be cute.”

    • Albie Quirky says:

      That’s a safe offer, because she will never get a class A license.

    • melting marionette says:

      “will blow for RV’s.”

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Imagine how many tickets SpeedBurro could rack up in an RV. Parking tickets, unsafe driving…

      [img]http://www.shunpikingtoheaven.com/photos/1528756918_fDScRvC-S.jpg[/img]
      This is more her speed.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      I thought Burning Man was all about minimalism and not leaving a carbon/foot print? Dont long time Burners decry and blame the arrival of RV’s/rich man’s game for Burning Man’s downfall?

      • Aspen>Tulips says:

        But bunny, Juliar is not a longtime Burner. There’s no judgment in Black Rock City, so I’m sure the longtime Burners find her delightful!

  16. KashMoney says:

    i don’t understand…she explicitly said on the today show something like “what if your self is a stalker?” (she butchered the syntax somehow, IIRC).

    i also love how she lies about not knowing why we call her Donkey when the reasoning is constantly explained.

  17. the original bunny says:

    Is there any way to do a live chat thing for the show?

  18. Peltergeist says:

    Wait, wait. The most hurtful thing anyone has ever said here is that she’s a stalker?! She has some seriously messed up reading comprehension skills.

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      Well, that’s progress, I suppose. Previously, she only zeroed in on the comments about her looks.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I guess what confuses me is that she IS a stalker, and it’s pretty clear that she and all of her friends have been turning that into a running joke for years. Why would that sting more than some of the gifs or expert psychoanalysis here?

        Maybe somebody got called a stalker while being threatened by several rich exes’ lawyers with a(nother) restraining order.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          It hurts in that it’s the least offensive thing she can say hurts, ya know? She thinks she can prove that’s not true pretty easily because OBVIOUSLY none of her exes are ever going to come to light and confirm or dispute this – they are all too Greg damn scared of a Donkey after the stalker shit she pulled.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            They also, share a deep embarrassment having dated her – it seems all the men who have dated her feel this way.

      • JFA says:

        The girl is a fucking moron. Redacted 2 CLEARLY called her a stalker, as is clear from the email she sent to his gf. “Even under the most liberal definition of stalking you’d have a hard time proving your case. :)” Or whatever she wrote. He clearly told her to stop writing her – she didn’t, he clearly threatened further action if she didn’t, you can read this by her own words knowing nothing about the background story!

        The truth hurts!

        • helobabe says:

          I think that email is so telling because it shows her typical behavior in her OWN words. If a bunch of new catladies show up tonight I hope they read that email and/or the poll of worst things she has done made by Prof FC. Those would be good intros.

    • bitchface says:

      I thought to her the worst thing she was ever called was fat.

    • Records Custodian says:

      It is also Julia’s allegation of choice. She called baugher a stalker, called most posters on RBD stalkers – it is just classic, boring projection.

      Julia has three or four “go-to” victim profiles:
      1. eating disorder girl: she is now recovered! but still a victim of vicious haters of eating disorders, somehow. People hate her because she says she once had an eating disorder? Or because she wrote about it? Whatever, she is a victim of an eating disorder.
      2. assorted medical maladies, usually trendy: celiac, gluten-intolerant, legally blind, insomniac, ADHD. Anything except NPD/BPD.
      3. bullying: Having no concept of the definition of the word, nor its meaning in ordinary context, Julia claims to her thousands of paid followers on Facebook and twitter that she is being unfairly treated by a mob of people.
      4. rape victim: both when she claimed to be a victim of date rape to get out of taking finals at Georgetown, and when was “inside.” If she plays this card, she was really lying about whatever topic immediately preceded the playing of this card.

      • Barking Mad says:

        Great comment, RC. We’ve all seen these.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Her whinging about being called a stalker has me wondering if she has realized that braying “my haters call me fat and it’s worse than the Holocaust!!!” makes her look like the shallow cunt that she is.

  19. Oh … My … Greg …

    There’s more to Lilly in bed when D0nkey sexes than she lets on:
    [img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLicpw5vp7DMX2ATXW_400.jpg[/img]
    SAVE LILLY!

    • Pelt Up says:

      Oh good lord. What the hell is that? I’ll admit I kiss my cat (on the top of her head), but I don’t close my eyes like I’m in some OMG-the-home-we-shared relationship with a quadriped. Gross, Donkey, gross.

      • KS says:

        Not as gross as those fingernails.

        • KS says:

          I take that back. I’m getting really grossed out by that passionate canine bj kiss. If I weren’t working I would photoshop SO MANY SHOES into that.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Lilly is female, so she doesn’t clearly owe any shoes. If anyone owes shoes here, it’s us, the male viewers, because this Donkey show is for our benefit. You better photoshop in two pair faux-YSLs for Julia and two pair dog booties for Lilly!

          • melissa sue £ says:

            Did Amy knit those booties??

    • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

      How do you even get a pic like that?

      From the bluish glow it looks like she took it from her laptop – does photobooth have a timer? Is it a still from some Lilly-porn?

    • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

      Jesus Christ. It’s like a bad dream from my youth. Guadalajara. Too much booze. Too many drugs. Donkey and dog sex show. Oh, the horror! Thank God we didn’t get into the ether.

  20. My Mother's Perfectionism says:

    Hey guize – none of it is her fault. It’s mine.

  21. Extremely Large Size Medium says:

    I know Julia is really terrible from all the backstory, but honestly? From the show? She comes across as try-hard and socially inept to me, but not nearly as unlikable as Amy the Matchmaker.

    Heresy, I know.

    It still hurts to watch her.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I can stand back and say, yeah, Julia does not look like the demon seed that we know her too be. Her Spreecast showed her more authentic side than the show ever will (as far as we know so far) but only because she is working so hard to be ZanyZOOEYDECHANCEL as hard as she can. So in that sense, she looks more like she needs to be put on a 5150 psych hold than Adorkable.

      I find Amy whiny and I am surprised she would think that would be attractive to men. I found her weird restrictive eating on a date sad… but a little endearing because sadly, I know women like that.

      I just find Emily boring which is surprising, I thought I would like her the most. I think the producers thought “Sex radio host who gets turned off by a strip club would be OMGSHOCKING” but it was lame.

      • JFA says:

        I thought I would like her too but I can’t even watch Emily’s segments, so boring.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I also thought I would like Emily the best. She is so terrible on camera and so irritating. I’ve also never seen someone who looks so great in photos yet looks so haggard on film.

    • Donkey Punch says:

      Yeah, so far she looks pathetic-mental instead of dangerous-mental. She’s both, but I hope they zero in on her destructive, cunty ways soon.

  22. OT trip down They’re Our Memories Too! lane:

    Remember back in January, 2012, when we talked about how Mulia Mallison thinks she looks like the T-Mobile girl because some rando twatter made the comparison?

    Maybe T-Mobile took notice, (& umbrage?) as well — on April 17, 2012, T-Mobile launched a rebranded ad campaign in which Carly Foulkes discards those pink dresses.

  23. Meanwhile, across the pond:
    [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Xns3mMGw2fU/S0XB9_NdMKI/AAAAAAAAB_w/eDIHa5LkjSc/s400/donkey+sanctuary.jpg[/img]

  24. cola champagne says:

    Of all the things that would bother her, she picks “donkey” and “stalker.” One of the “accusations” is totally untrue, and the other is based on fact, but isn’t completely accurate either. I find it odd that of all the things that have been speculated about her: narcissism, eating disordered, fame-whore, liar, manipulator, user, daddy issues, lazy, undisciplined, unethical, nasty, dirty, fat, beauty-obsessed, childish, immature, unemotional, selfish, vindictive, and untalented, she picks the two terms that are merely hyperbole and “cries” about those.

    Wow.

  25. D0nkey, stalk? Why ever would anyone say that?
    [img]http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6101/6264835621_2a8bf6a40f_z.jpg[/img]

    • cola champagne says:

      EAR-RIE!

    • KS says:

      post the shop of this with her face, it made me laugh big time.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        I’ll do it as soon as I get back to my non-errands desk. Assuming I don’t have a severe attack of cankleshausen before I get home. She will never the dignity.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        Here ya go:

        [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/vsme0n.jpg[/img]

        captcha: spread the net
        No kidding, captcha.

        • CDB says:

          Should we have some audio/video examples of braying for the newbies who show up wanting to find out why she is called donkey?

    • melissa sue £ says:

      Why is that thing looking into my soul?

  26. cola champagne says:

    Did anyone ever see this girl from Millionaire Matchmaker?

    http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi3885669145/

  27. Donkeycam Now! says:

    Her name was Donkey,
    she was a fameball.
    With yellow feathers in her pelts
    and a tutu down to there,
    she would do the wide stance.
    And while she tried to be a star,
    Donkey always tweeted crap.

    Across a pink bed,
    she slept from 8 till 4.
    She was not young and had nobody,
    Who could ask for less?

  28. Can-Swiss says:

    Should there maybe a welcome post for all 30 viewers of Miss Advised after they google us tonight?

  29. juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

    OT: I’m bored, so I have issued myself a blogging challenge: In future posts, I must now use attempt to use every single one of these words correctly, in honor of our ex-boyfriend stalking logophile.

    P.S. Don’t show this to Julia for I fear she may have an orgasm, and Lilly doesn’t need to sleep in a wet bed.

    http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/07/02/project-twins-unusual-words/

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      And which one will I most likely use first, because COME ON?

    • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

      Our yonderly ultracrepidarian heroine found herself again in a zugzwang; her vernalagnia collapsed in a welter of enantiodromia, so that one minute she was scripturient and the next in the throes of tarantism. How she loved to write! How she loved to dance! Write, dance, write, dance, back and forth until vertigo set in and she asked her roommate to bring her a glass of juice. Then a stranger on the internet compared her to a quockerwodger — how cruel and perchance osteniferous! She touched her body all over — no she was not made of wood like an old toy, though it took rather longer these days for her hands to glide across the expanse of her croup. She set off then for Runyon Canyon to de-croup and regroup, as she said, and whilst montivagant, reproached with the jettatura the infandous Ford leptsomes with their boyfriends, wishing she could gorgonize them all. Was cacodemonomania her harmartia, she wondered? No, no she was fine, no demons within. It was but the weight of her genius, the continual noegensis, that made her different.

  30. The Final Rose says:

    I can not believe Donkey has the gall to tweet about the “Busy Trap” article that was making the rounds of the interwebs (A day late, of course. She must be too busy to read things when they are relevant.) Spending 14 hours a day on the internet and sleeping ten hours a day does not make you a type-a workaholic, bunny.

    Ugh – it may be time to unfollow her once and for all.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      You follow her? I still don’t understand why people do when you can just pull up her tweets.

      • The Final Rose says:

        Laziness, I guess? I just pulled the plug and unfollowed, though. Why should I do for free what she pays tens of thousands of bots?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      This! Also orgasming over a new documentary about how monogamy is outdated. Girl, you can’t even keep one man, how are you going to keep 2 or 3?

      And quoting Steve Jobs on her Facebook page???? She really thinks she’s such a busy lady in tech-work-a-holic-on the cutting edge-disrupter. PLEASE. This is why I think she is truly mentally ill. She cannot see herself. AT ALL.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

        I suspect she’s orgasming over the filmmaker more than the film (and good luck chasing that or anyone in his orbit Julia).

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        to be fair, she is (and you know where i’m going with this) LEGALLY BLIND!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Legally Blinde–Perky Elle Woods decides on a whim to attend the prestigious Perkins School. Although her fun-loving California-girl ways and penchant for carrying her service dog in her purse at first alienate her snooty, egotistical classmates, she soon wins them over with her warm heart and boundless optimism.

    • Donkeycam now! says:

      Googling yourself while eating cupcakes requires a lot of concentration.

  31. The Final Rose says:

    And I just saw this post on her Facebook page (I do not subscribe) — why does she keep telling herself that her portrayal will get better in future episodes? I mean, I know the answer to that question is part of the whole Tao of the Donkey so it’s really just a rhetorical question. (Apparently I need a drink today.)

    “Also, just a warning, I am not a fan of MY portion of the third episode of the show. I basically just cry and look like a stalker. So. Yeah. Feel free to … um … dvr through those parts and hop right to NEXT week’s 4th ep!”

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      DVR is the technology; fast-forward is the action. Moron.

    • Peltergeist says:

      Yes, Donkey, I will feel free to digital video recorder through those parts. I guess “fast forward” isn’t in the 2012 Word of the Day calendar. What a great writer.

      • Donkey Punch says:

        A journalist for over a decade, don’t forget! #puke

      • CaptainGary says:

        Shut up, you mother-effing haterz! You know our Julezie isn’t familiar with this thing you call TV because of her highly intellectual family, which has never ever watched TV because they do things like talk and assemble puzzles and listen to lots of Bach! They’re classy, except for the fact that one of them is literally humiliating herself on basic cable weekly.

        • Peltergeist says:

          It’s not her fault! Her mother was such a perfectionist that using a DVR imperfectly stresses her out!

  32. The_Manta says:

    Latest tweet: ‘Tonight’s #MissAdvised is absolutely brutal, humiliating & incredibly difficult for me to watch. I guess that means it’s good reality tv. :(‘

    Remind me again why she didn’t sign that Oprah contract?

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Do you think she gets to watch it just one day before it airs or something? How does this usually work?

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Usually, from what I’ve heard, they don;’t let them see anything because then they become pain in the asses, re: edits, freaking out. But I think b/c of her Bravo/Elle blog, she is aloud to see them though I am not sure what the lead time is – probably more than a week considering an Elle editor has to completely rewrite her to make any sense of her writing.

      • The Final Rose says:

        She must get screeners far enough in advance to write her Bravo blog, but I’m not sure how much notice she gets. The cynical part of me thinks she waits until the day of the show to start wailing about it to drive up viewership/sympathy.

    • I just saw a preview that I don’t remember from last week (the part about Emily going home, I remember) — seems like D0nkey may talk about [Redacted] after all? And there’s mention of her being referred to on RBD as a spoiled princess?

      Ignore me if this preview has been on all along (it’s new to me, anyway).

    • Barking Mad says:

      She said the same thing about last weeks episode. And will prob say the same about next week’s episode.

  33. Peltergeist says:

    Ok, I never saw this article: http://www.nerve.com/web/ten-sexiest-web-geeks . It’s awful, but her little FB explanation is more awful: I wrote this roundup of the Ten Sexiest Geeks about a year ago, but it’s still one of my favorites. Maybe because Nerve didn’t edit a single word of my copy; editors who don’t edit are (sometimes) the very best kind. Thanks Sean Mills! ;-)

    No, you moron, editors who don’t edit are lazy like you or else content formatters disguised as editors. When I was an editor, the writers who would question my edits were THE WORST. It really doesn’t matter if you agree with it, because you’re not the editor. Case closed. It’s so weird to me that she’s clearly one of those obsessive weirdos who is so in love with her own words that she can’t let go of a few paragraphs, yet she’s the laziest writer on earth and won’t meet any deadlines. Also, if this is her unedited, I feel so bad for whoever is in charge of mutilating her “column” at Elle.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I know Sean Mills, and the two options are: a) he thought it would be funnier to let her hoist herself on her own petard of stupid, or b) he started to edit it and then realized it was a horrible ouroboros of idiocy and gave up in despair.

      There is no scenario in which “Sean thought Julie Albertson’s writing was perfect just as it was” is even remotely possible.

    • CaptainGary says:

      I was just coming here to post this – I forgot about it as well, but had my memory rudely jogged when I checked out La Donk’s FB page (even though I’m not a subscriber, I can see everything – so protective of privacy, that one).

      Long story short, this is a horrible article written right at the height of a certain Burra’s smugliness.

    • helobabe says:

      Comments under that article are fun. The Sklar meltdown is pretty good.

      • CaptainGary says:

        My favorite is Julezie rushing to her defense by saying “That’s totally out of line. Rachel is GORGEOUS, both in person – and in spirit,” to which a commenter responds by saying, mockingly, that it must be out of line to judge someone by their looks in an article that does same as it’s central conceit.

        “That’s out of line” is the new “Who do you think you are!?!”

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      I distinctly remember her mentioning Moot on this, which given today, gives me an apropos reason to link to this: http://rebloggingdonk.com/2011/03/18/why-isnt-julia-allison-supporting-the-current-face-of-cyber-bullying/

  34. ShesJustStupid says:

    Posting just to show how manic she is right now

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 1m
    @nrica527 – Thanks girl!!! You’re too cute. :-) xoxoxo

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 2m
    @KillerrQueenn – I am virtually hugging the shit out of you right now.

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 7m
    @sarahhhmurray @LilytheMorkie – @lillydog says WOOF! She is 9-years-old this fall!! xoxoxo

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 7m
    @1M0L – I keep thinking “Just get through this. Just get through this.” It’s like going to the gym. Except without the burning calories part

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9m
    @AliLevineDesign @justinjacaruso – Thank you Ali!!! And hi Justin!!!!

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9m
    @LindseyKelk – Anyone in the UK can get BRAVO’s #MissAdvised on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/m… :-) P.S. I LOVE BRITS!

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 10m
    @KillerrQueenn – Girl! You can get BRAVO’s #MissAdvised on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/m… And the official BRAVO site: bravotv.com/miss-advised

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 10m
    @Arkhangael – It’s available on iTunes!!! BRAVO’s Miss Advised on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/m… Official BRAVO site: bravotv.com/miss-advised

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 11m
    @nrica527 – girl, you and me both!

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 11m
    @sampobanz – Thank you Sam … I hope that honesty helps. I got nothin’ else!

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 12m
    @NicoleDworak – I am going to HUG ATTACK you.

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 57m
    Tonight’s #MissAdvised is absolutely brutal, humiliating & incredibly difficult for me to watch. I guess that means it’s good reality tv. :(

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      If I’m not mistaken, she never did respond to that tweet Ashley Tisdale threw her way.

      • CaptainGary says:

        Yeah, and she answered all of two “advice tweets,” both with one word answers. It’s almost like she’s never been an advice columnist before…

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        I went to that Ashley Tisdale place on Twitter after the premiere. I fear I will never be the same again.

    • Peltergeist says:

      Twitter makes me hate people even more than my daily life does.

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      Honestly, even though she says that the show is “humiliating”, how much is she LOVING the attention from the handful of pity tweets?

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        SHE IS LOVING IT!!! If I found something so humiliating, I would not be letting 75,000 people know about it, even if I did buy them as subscribers.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        HYSTERICAL!!!!

        Lady, you’re going to be single for a looooooong time.

        PS, we have just discovered Miss Advised fan base… (and no, I am not making fun of her age, just her crazy).

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Maybe she knows Love Broker was shit canned after 2 episodes. Feel free to relax, Donkey, they are dumping Love Broker into the summer months with all the other shows Bravo doesn’t give a shit about.

      Ur, um, ooops?

    • bitchface says:

      i have a feeling that tonight’s show is going to disappoint (as usual) with it’s “brutality”

      Julia, always winding us up, just to let us down (unless she being crazeee)

    • Pelts Off the Charts says:

      “Lilly is nine-years-old this fall.” That is not the first time she has made that error with hyphens when referring to age. HOW IS SHE CONSIDERED A WRITER IN ANY WAY?!?!?!?

      I guess she is confusing it with “She is a nine-year-old.” WTF?!?!?!

  35. BrayDotCom says:

    I know it’s a week old but I just watched that episode two shitshow. The best part was when she dropped the whole “my mother was a speechwriter for Nixon” in there. And then cried because coming up with column ideas was too overwhelming. Your family, Julia. So. Proud.

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      My favorite part was when she cried that she just needed to not have pressure on her for one second.
      People expect Donkey to unpack AND work in the same week! Too much pressure!!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I just saw it too. How about when she lists off relationship experts as tarot-card readers, psychics and astrologers?

      Oh honey. You forgot about fortune cookies.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Fortune cookies have sugar, and sugar is outlawed, remember? You have been gone much too long. And I fear interaction with the real world has changed you.

      • BrayDotCom says:

        Sure, fortune cookies, and then there’s the writing scrawled in bus stop bathroom walls – lots of good advice there.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          Reading the grounds at the bottom of a cup of Turkish coffee always works for me.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Donkey may not realize it, but by endorsing all that woo, she is further tanking her nearly nonexistent chances of landing a tech nerd. Interest in things like astrology is an immediate dealbreaker for most people in science/tech.

      • CDB says:

        Jacy .. email me. you can hook into my sling box. (my god that sounds downright punishable by law)

  36. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    What, no birthday shout-out for “her girl” Ashley Tisdale, who just publicly branded her a lunatic?

    • A Donkey is an Ass says:

      A Donkey realizes that now is not the right time to respond to her. But soon, oh so soon, fat sort-of adult, Mess Assvice will show A Donkey as the quirky, pretty, tech-founder she really is, or something.

      Everyone loves/pities her. You’re out of line.

  37. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    guys, can i just say, today has been tough (higgs boson coming out imminently, yo! even though math is hard!), and i need to get the heck out of here and go home.
    see y’all later for the donkey show!

    • Pelts Off the Charts says:

      see ya then! OMG i’m excited but also nervous that we will be portrayed as sort-of-sad lunatics.

  38. Lady Donk Donk says:

    Call me Ahab!

  39. bitchface says:

    I am soooo excited to see/hear Annie Blahblah on the teevees tonight! And to see Julia Allison fake cry – again! WHO DOES THAT?

    My favorites thus far:
    Ep 1 – the freakish uh-uh-uh laughter thing when Toilet Julia said “Craiglist Justin????”
    Ep 2 – the running around in a circle on the beach thing
    Ep 3 – TBA

    • Pelts Off the Charts says:

      yep, those two moments were just so disturbing.

    • The Final Rose says:

      Donkey’s manic behavior on Twitter right now is the virtual version of running in circles on the beach. I can’t wait for 10:00.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        Cakez! Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to recreate the running in circles on the beach using the Sims, and post to NonSimciety.

    • diluted brain says:

      Running in circles was one of my favorite parts too. I just started at the tv like WTF.
      The throwing herself all over Chris when he was trying to leave was comical. As was negotiating writing an article with an employer. Oh man, it’s just too hard to decide my favorite.

  40. diluted brain says:

    I read cafemom.com and just spit out my water on this. How amazing is this article (though I wouldn’t go as far as saying donkey is a celeb)

    http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/139834/5_celebs_whose_plastic_surgery

    • Onehundredcats says:

      I’m definitely questioning her celeb status.

      • bitchface says:

        yeah god, I hate these; she’s like the dog cartoon

        [img]https://www.blogmutt.com/images/farside.jpg[/img]

        all julia hears is
        blah blah blah julia allison blah blah blah blah celeb blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

  41. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    so she’s tweeting mr. randi now, like they’re BFF?
    and inserting random beach bike shills in her twitter stream? #ad?!

    • The Final Rose says:

      Oh my God, reading her replies to all the 17-year-old fangirls on Twitter literally just made my chest itch. This is humiliating, even for her.

  42. I'm guessing it's biology says:

    Aaaaaaaaand it’s Boring Emily to kick things off!

  43. Kat says:

    All of you people harassing and posting cruel things about such a nice girl is terrible. That is called cyber bullying, and only people who are insecure about themselves do such terrible things. If you don’t like someone, don’t like them silently. Posting horribly cruel things about a person is something messed-up young teens do. id love to know that if any of you are over 15, because you truly don’t have a life if you are.
    I am not even a fan of Julia, but i think shes a knock-out! absolutely gorgeous, not to mention adorable and funny :) All of you are just jealous of her adorable personality and sexy curves ;)

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