That Must Explain The Face

Just went for an eye exam for the first time in years – guess what my prescription was? Hint: I am blind.

Too easy, I know.

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145 Responses to That Must Explain The Face

  1. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:


    Seriously, this made me LOL. PS, Donkey must have also spent all day cleaning up er Twitter feed, so many Tweets tweeleted.

  2. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    PS, what does a Donkey do all day? She’s in LA with no job, yet we never hear of her doing anything or ever spending time with any friends. Her life is so sad.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      You’d think she’d be all over this healthcare thing.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        She will parrot or RT some wallets reaction that she thinks makes her seem smart.

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          Shell parrot whatever the McCain girl tweets, “omg I smoked pot, I’m a wacky republican chick!”

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        everyone I know with a political background has been talking about it nonstop

        • They Call Me Jack says:

          Once again, Donkey puts that Government degree to good use. How much did that cost you, Petey? And all those phone chats with the dean?

      • Skirt Pull says:

        She’ll have to change that oh-so-cute last line of her bio.

  3. Cowboys & Brayliens says:

    Cue the hipster nerdy quirky glasses tweet.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      “What would Zooey do?????”

  4. emma bourricot says:

    She says she’s half blind and just had her first eye appointment in years for glasses. I guess she doesn’t wear contacts because she would have to have her prescription updated every year like everyone else does (and we all know she would shill like hell for Focus Dailies if she had to wear contacts every day). So blind, you guys, so blind she needs a pair of reading glasses to look at the tiny print on all of her Draconian contracts. This cunt, dear God.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I’m sure staring into an iPhone 24/7 has nothing to do with her going blind at 31.

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      She actually does wear contacts. She’s mentioned in passing once or twice. I know, I’m surprised she doesn’t constantly harp on it, too.

      • emma bourricot says:

        Reposted because I replied in the wrong thread and RBD says my comment is “awaiting moderation” — did I miss a troll?

        But that’s what puzzles me. Who goes years without eye exams if you wear contact lenses? You have to have a yearly checkup before they will refill your prescription. I can’t go to my doctor with a prescription I got four years ago or whatever. If she has bad vision that requires she wears contacts every day, how has she gone years without an eye exam? DEEPLY CONFUSED.

        • These Hooves Were Made for Walking says:

          You could just not get a new pair every year/month/day or whatever plan you were prescribed. Considering her normal lack of cleanliness, she’s probably just been wearing the same pair or stretching a year’s worth for a few years.

    • Skirt Pull says:

      Some of us actually are blind. So thoughtless of her.

  5. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Tweet of the day:

    1h Marcelle ‏@marcellepa
    Watching Julia Allison trying to date on #missadvised, is like seeing pictures of what that guy on bath salts did

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Spoke too soon?

      Fabian! ‏@FabsterNYC
      So I gave a second chance to #MissAdviced , awful show, why @JuliaAllison humiliates herself on national TV? Poor lady.
      Reply Retweet Favorite

      • The Final Rose says:

        She got into a whole back and forth with this guy and told him to let her know what he thinks after Episode 8. Do we think she’s seen all the episodes yet?

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          They usually do not do that but maybe since she writes the blogs, she has? Or she might just know what the last episode is going to be since she filmed it.

        • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

          She’s probably doing that thing she ALWAYS does. “If you knew everything you’d agree with me. If we met you’d like me. If you get to know me you’d love me… etc. etc.”

          • emma bourricot says:

            But that’s what puzzles me. Who goes years without eye exams if you wear contact lenses? You have to have a yearly checkup before they will refill your prescription. I can’t go to my doctor with a prescription I got four years ago or whatever. If she has bad vision that requires she wears contacts every day, how has she gone years without an eye exam? DEEPLY CONFUSED.

          • emma bourricot says:

            Oops, SSSF. See thread above.

          • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

            That’s the permanantly, continually bizarre and fascinating thing about her: everyone else in the world is crazy and so wrong about her, for years now. “If only you knew me!” But by all accounts, and now this televised experience, uh, she’s just as fucking dire and evil and awful as advertised. Confirmed.

            A question for the basement: didn’t we all expect to be disappointed, that she’d really tone it down, try to be normal, put one over on neutral tv viewers? Be an actress? Well she’s a terrible one, and I think she’s a basement-cat’s dream come true in showing how ghastly she is.
            She can’t hide it! She scrubs things, lies, behaves abominably. That really is her, despite the scrubbing she’s done for tv. It’s like the very old Eddie Murphy joke about dating women (okay, he called them bitches) with so many skeletons in their closet, “they can’t open their mouth without a bone popping out”.

            Maybe her newly revealed affliction of poor eyesight explains something, maybe she will claim the show’s title was originally “Miss Understood” when they pitched it to her in a corporate boardroom that they flew her first-class to, to woo her. You can tell she’s already regretting this mess.

            But no, she’s just as awful as we see on Bravo! and just as sad-ass and delusional as we’ve known. Get help, Julia.

  6. Casa Del Sweden Is A City, Whatever, It's Miss Cast says:

    She’s blind. That explains a lot.

  7. Donkey Punch says:

    God, her need to be a special snowflake is just embarrassing. LOTS of people are “legally blind” – it doesn’t mean shit for most of us. You’re not overcoming motherfucking adversity, donkey.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

      She’s not legally blind. If her corrected vision weren’t 20/40 or better, she couldn’t get an unrestricted driver’s license.

      • Visual acuity has to be 20/200 or less, with correction, to be declared legally blind, & if D0nkey were truly legally blind (as she has claimed in the past) she couldn’t have a driver’s license at. all.

        When? Will she quit lying online & inadvertently shooting herself in the hoof? (/rhetorical question)

      • Donkey Punch says:

        Interesting. I live in NYC and haven’t driven for years, so it’s not a big deal to me, but my eye doctor told me I am legally blind and it’s no big deal. (I see fine with contacts, less so with specs.)

  8. Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

    She’s shared this Fascinating Fact about Julia several times before. For example, 3 years ago:

    “I’m legally blind, actually. -12 in one eye, -11 in the other. ”

    Hey People magazine, are you listening? Hello, are you listening now? Hello?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      That isn’t even legally blind, Jesus Christ how I hate her dumb lying ass.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      It makes zero sense b/c if she were legally blind – her Dr. would have told her that – she would not have to run to her Twitter followers for clarification. She is such a nit wit.

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      I realize that she’s using hyperbole like she always does, but that’s annoying. If she were legally blind she wouldn’t be able to drive. She wouldn’t be able to read the internet. She couldn’t read magazines or text all damn day.
      If she gets up to 20/20 WITH corrective lenses then she’s NOT legally blind. GREG! She’s annoying!

      • If she gets up to 20/20 WITH corrective lenses then she’s NOT legally blind

        While technically true, ’20/20 with correction’ isn’t even the determining factor (not everyone can even correct to 20/20) — it has to be 20/200 or worse in your best eye, with correction, before one is deemed ‘legally blind’.

        Blind w/OUT correction is neither here nor there if correction gets you better than 20/200.

  9. Cake Liar says:

    Sorry if this has already been linked to here, have been busy with desk errands so have only been able to skim over posts. Jesus fucking Greg, even crazy Lala or whatever the fuck her name is thinks she’s crazy! 🙂

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      I love it when Lala says that she’s angry because it’s at least half true. Well, yeah.

      • You know, I give LaLa props for that, & since seeing that clip, I’m actually very interested to see just how direct & honest she gets w/ a d0nkey.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

          I’m curious if stalking will come up in her on-camera behavior with an ex or a date. But I dunno if they’ll expose the lizard beneath the mask. They’re sure pushing the ‘why do people think I’m crazy’ theme though.

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          Lala just needs to learn the meaning and how to pronounce her SAT words.

      • They Call Me Jack says:

        It’s a wonderful moment because it vindicates the site. We’re not simply “haters” who comment unkindly on her appearance; rather, we’ve got her number and Donkey knows it. And the louder she brays, the more on target we are!

    • Onehundredcats says:

      Out of all the points we make (justified or unjustified) stalking is the one that pisses her off the most? I’m kinda shocked.
      How else would you describe someone that emails their ex’s fiancé because the fiances email appears to be broke? Crazy?…oh…right.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      It was its own dedicated post, but carry on.

  10. MissDespised is the New JA Pilot says:

    If we refuse to watch on Monday it will gie it a .10 rating and freak out Donkey..oh the Damn FUN!

    • AFGHANI says:

      If people DVR it instead of watching it live, would that happen?

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        No. You have to have a Nielsen box to be counted towards ratings… DVR doesn’t count.

        • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

          DVR seriously counts. Nielsens count as the anachronistic way of measuring first-viewings as a show airs, but the 3 or so major cable companies certainly monitor and report what people record and watch. For example, “Smash” on NBC was considered a fail, but DVR viewings made it a renewed hit in retrospect to the suits. It get more arcane from there, (+3 day viewing, +7 too, for commercials) and things like on-demand viewing (where you can’t forward commercials, grr) increasingly count too. Bravo in particular seems suited to a DVR’ing audience. It counts, they watch it closely.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          That’s interesting, my network always tells us it does not count b/c people are fast forwarding through commercials so they do not count it.

          I thought that info sounded wrong / outdated. They say they do count when they run the show on the internet with commercials.

          • Guam in the Shower says:

            Media nerd here. Advertisers count the commercial ratings plus + 3 days, which means how many people watch the commercials (not the show) within three days of the original airdate. Networks care about the show ratings, obviously, but the commercial ratings only affect ad revenue.

            Also, there are only a few thousand homes with Nielsen boxes across the country (yep), so unless some cat ladies have them, we can’t really drag down the ratings, unfortunately.

            Running a show on the internet and VOD are separate. They don’t count towards the widely-reported Nielsen ratings. Nor do iTunes downloads.. but all of this impacts a show’s success, as with the Smash example. They say Arrested Development was killed by the DVR, which was brand new at the time, and it may have survived were it slightly later since we know a lot more about this now.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        Don’t even think about not watching if you want to see Greasy as the Ex giving Julia pointers about what she did wrong, which I totally and completely do.

        • Sake Bombardier says:

          Reading the words “Greasy,” “giving,” “Julia” and “pointer” in the same sentence just made my vajajay go into the witness protection program.

  11. Joardache & the Pelts says:

    Celiac. I was inside. We talked about marriage. Teen Vogue…etc.

  12. Edward R. Burro says:

    I just saw the second episode. Little Julia fucking HATES Big Julia. It could not be clearer. How long are they contractually obligated to still pretend that they’re sisters?

    I still can’t stand Amy and I can’t say that I like Emily but she’s definitely the most likable of the three (there’s some damning with faint praise, huh?) She’s really pretty; I think she looks like Kristin Davis a little.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I think it’s telling that when a Donkey renewed her stable she did not say her sister Little Toilet Julia would be staying there, too. I bet Toilet is waiting for a Season 2 pick-up before she commits which is never going to happen.

      Also, why did Toilets album never come out? It was supposed to “drop” in June???

      • Cola chamPagne says:

        It dropped. Into the toilet. Just like her caca.

        • Get a Stylist-Your Dad Does Not Want Nut Butter says:

          Is your name to do w/ the super sweet soda Latino’s love?

        • Get a Stylist-Your Dad Does Not Want Nut Butter says:

          Dear Cola,
          Back in the day when I was a poor girl living in Queens we’d have pizza parties and have Malibu (sweet) and Good o Kola Champagne. Classy.

          • Cola chamPagne says:

            Wow that would be quite the sugar rush! Did you ever try Malta Goya?

          • Get a Therapist says:

            Yes of course Ms/Mr Cola, and chic o sticks, zero candy bars and all that jazz. I rarely indulge now, but every now and again we binge out on latin sweets from my youth.

    • The Missing Davos Report says:

      I was ok with Amy the first episode but share your opinion about the second. She was in-fucking-sufferable. Complain about calorie consumption over and over, talk about a guy’s age in a condescending way, and he peaces out? SHOCKING. She thinks she acknowledged this by saying she was a “shitty dater” – no, Amy, you were being a passive-aggressive bitch.

      Julia at least went into her date with a positive attitude, and described her behavior as what it was. The Elle meeting and freakout was where I needed my Canklehausen ointment.

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        I finally saw ep 2 (have to brace myself with copious amounts of booze to bleed the rage into drunken snark). Amy is a boner-killing bore. Anyone talking about calories like that endlessly during a date is just too dull. I went on a couple of those dates in college and never called them back.

        Her weird bitch-out about the pot pie was just freaky. Get over yourself. If you were really working hard you could actually manage the calories. Oh well. What do I know.

        And then her whole condescending bitch thing when she called and the dude had the “tell me something nice about your day” or whatever? Fuck off, the jaded-to-death cynic thing is so over and unattractive, and I say this as a thoroughly jaded Angeleno.

        Julia is just over the top and needs therapy and to learn how to MELLOW. THE FUCK. OUT. She’s like LA antimatter.

    • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

      To be uncharacteristically kind and fair to A Donkey, Toilet Julia seems skulky, creepy, somewhat sinister by comparison. She makes Donk’s fakeness look like Lucille Ball in comparison. A Mrs. Danvers character. Just lurking resentfully, with that skeletal frame and face. I just don’t like her. Her not liking Donks isn’t any points in my book- join the basement club. She chose to be part of this too. Birds of a feather, y’know.

      (While we’re on the topic of Ep. 2, I’m not crazy about Emily, either. Why in the what the fuck did she go with that clearly stoned Cee-Lo type guy to go slap some stripper’s asses and stuff bills? Oh, but she’s such an innocent- her leaving was like Cybill Shepherd in Taxi driver storming out of the porn theater, except less interesting. Was it meant to show how “open-minded” Emily is, or something? I suppose it was for tv. Because there’s something about “I’m so liberal and progresssive and post-feminist, I’ll try dating a husky stoned black guy who takes me to a place to slap stripper’s asses like a pimp! Even though I feel ill and have to leave- I’m daring, libtards! Get over it, feminazis!” That whole segment was so WTF.

      And I’ll agree with people saying the idea of the “Sex With Emily” radio show is really, really boring. Who’s really titillated by such a thing, or interested? past a certain age? I think Dan Savage’s column is just a litany of yuck I stopped reading, I doubt Emily’s radio show is anything worth listening to, as well. In that high-speed voice. )

      • Skirt Pull says:

        The thing about Emily is that I cannot for the life of me see her as sexual. She is so thin she appears anorexic. Nothing sensual about her.

      • The Missing Davos Report says:

        NHTA – re. the strip club thing, I think it was just meant to put Emily in a “Come on, man…” situation. Not to show anything about her specifically.

        I.e,. Ray Luv shoulda quit while he was ahead. To segue from a good conversation to something obvious (I’ll bring Emily to a strip club because I know she’s not prudish about that kind of thing! Hee hee!) rightfully let her down. A strip club is a strip club, ho-hum in general and certainly in San Francisco. Like with Julia and Amy, the date had to go bad somehow but in this case it wasn’t the woman’s actions.

        Before it sounds like I’m all Team Emily… earlier in the episode she did herself no favors connecting herself to Gavin Newsom. Tacky. Icky.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Without having watched the show I agree with all of this and especially with the fact that Dan Savage is unreadable. I agree with him politically and think he has talent, but his column is just such a neverending spool of BUTTSEX PICKLE-DILDO ORALRAPE FUCKMONKEY GLORYHOLE MCBANG-BANG I just can’t hack it anymore. Yes, Dan. You are really liberated about sex. You provacative liberated sexy sex-having sex-man, you.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Emily is definitely the only one I think I might like (perversely, perhaps) to hang out with. The other two, please god, no way.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I think she is really quite beautiful.

        • Cola chamPagne says:

          Agree. She doesn’t seem to have done the fillers and she made me laugh when she was in the strip club and was like “if I have to slap another stripper’s ass…”

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            I thought that was pretty hilarious, too. Probably the only genuine laugh I’ll have from this whole shitshow, so I appreciated it.

  13. Wtf is right says:

    I just saw the second episode. The way her date shot out of his chair because he thought the bottle was going to land on him- sooooo hard to watch. I actually enjoyed Amy’s storyline a tiny bit. It wasn’t too bad and definitely not cringeworthy. Emily was meh.

  14. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    Remember, she’s always lying about everything. On some level. ALWAYS. That means even within this banal statement about an eye exam, she’s lying.

  15. donniedriveby says:

    “Oh honorable editor. Must miss deadline. So velly solly!”

  16. donniedriveby says:

    This episode of Miss Advised is brought to you by Sour Apple Sass Pucker…. it’s sour as F*CK!”

    Miss(ed) Sponsor Opportunity

  17. donniedriveby says:


  18. OT — Today’s health care ruling dominated, natch, but this also happened:

    The Stolen Valor Act failed … ‘a casualty of the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision that the law is unconstitutional because it infringes on people’s First Amendment rights, including the right to falsely boast that they are decorated war heroes.’

    In a nutshell, Mark Kirk (family friend of Julia Allison Baugher AKA D0nkey) & his ilk who make false claims of winning prestigious war medal(s) will continue to go unpunished.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      No not really. The outright ban on “stolen valor” speech was deemed unconstitutional but “stolen valor” speech for the purposes of defrauding someone is still allowed.

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        *but banning “stolen valor” speech for the purpose of defrauding someone is still allowed.

      • You’re saying ‘No not really’ to what, exactly? Because even w/ your amendment, I’m interpreting that you’re saying the average Joe Blow can BS about war accomplishments, as can, say, a person in or running for public office … & that’s what today’s outcome is, which is what I was pointing out. Right?

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          Here is common law fraud. You do those things plus “stolen valor” speech, violating a possible redrafted law (it hasn’t even been proposed yet), its a crime and will probably survive a constitutional challenge.

          a representation of an existing fact;
          its materiality;
          its falsity;
          the speaker’s knowledge of its falsity;
          the speaker’s intent that it shall be acted upon by the plaintiff;
          plaintiff’s ignorance of its falsity;
          plaintiff’s reliance on the truth of the representation;
          plaintiff’s right to rely upon it; and
          consequent damages suffered by plaintiff.
          Assuming, they just add CL fraud as an element to the current law; I still don’t know if fraud+stolen valor speech for the purposes of political office qualifies, there is a good argument on both sides.

          So I say no, not really because the law is rarely cut and dry. The redrafted law is not on the books, no one knows if they will change it, what it will look like, its provisions or how the courts will interpret it.

          There are too many unknowns to quantify; however, the one thing we know for sure is the Court’s holding, which included a statement to effect of “banning “stolen valor” speech for the purpose of defrauding someone is still allowed.”

          • Your response is very (intentionally?) convoluted, or I need more coffee, or both.

            The Stolen Valor Act of 2005 (a LAW that made it a crime to to falsely claim, orally or in writing, “to have been awarded any decoration or medal authorized by Congress for the Armed Forces of the United States.”) was signed into LAW by President George W. Bush on December 20, 2006.

            The Supreme Court overturned that LAW yesterday, saying that it is an unconstitutional infringement on free speech.

            The redrafted law is not on the books

            Why you are bringing up a possible redrafted law that has yet to even be proposed is beyond me — rather than speculate on the future to make a hypothetical point &/or quantify unknowns, keep it simple & pertaining to the actual event. Or not.

            Here’s the thing: for all your obfuscatory diatribe, what it boils down to is that in the 2nd part of your last sentence, you are parroting the point I made in the first place.

          • Donkey of Perdition says:

            I was working on the assumption and the given they will redraft the law in accordance with the Supreme Court decision, the law is too popular and the Court told them exactly how to do it. Obviously, when the Court declares a law unconstitutional it becomes void.

            I thought we were both working on the assumption that will be redrafted.

            I am not trying to argue with you or be convoluted; but, trying to explain to the way the law works. In terms of both the judicial system and how it plays out in the legislative branch, i.e. it will be redrafted. Obviously, my attempts have failed. [img][/img]

          • Albie Quirky says:

            As a non-lawyer my take on why it was overturned was that it was too broad. You have a 1st Amendment right to lie about being a cardiac surgeon in a bar, but not in a hospital operating room, because the danger to others trumps your right to free speech.

            This law was so sweeping that it made it illegal to lie about being a Purple Heart Green Beret in a bar, even though that doesn’t defraud or endanger others. I have read a number of lawyers who share DoP’s belief that another law which is more focused can be passed and will be upheld.

          • I thought we were both working on the assumption that will be redrafted.

            Is it your assumption that Illinois State Senator Mark Kirk [R] will eventually have his feet held to the fire for his false claims of: [1] “I was the Navy’s Intelligence Officer of the Year” (an achievement he said gave him special qualifications to discuss national security spending), or of [2] having been fired upon during an aerial reconnaissance mission in Iraq?

            Serious question; not nitpicking. I don’t see any repercussions in his future for misleading the voting public — his ‘apology’ sufficed — & for politicking while on military duty, he has only been made to sign a statement that he ‘knows what the rules are & won’t break them again.’

            THAT is what I mean when I say (predict? assume?) that he & his ilk (federal officials to whom federal crimes don’t seem to apply) will continue to go unpunished — at least Xavier Alvarez & Rick Strandlof had charges brought against them for exploiting their deceptions for personal gain.

            Anyway, thanks for explaining where you were coming from, because I just wasn’t getting it.

            Apologies to others for the lengthy OT exchange.

  19. They Call Me Jack says:

    OT: I was so busy today that I’m just getting around to dinner: a chicken pot pie. So delicious, and I couldn’t help but think of uber successful Amy sitting home alone & chowing down on a midnight snack of 2 Ritz Crackers. There isn’t even a fluffy kitty or an adorable Jack Russell with which to snuggle!

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      She’s really a barrel of laughs. Reminds me of every mid-level management skeleton I ever encountered at Conde Nast. Shudder.

    • Donked Out says:

      Ha – me too! All that talk of chicken pot pie made me hungry. My huscat loved it.

    • virgil reid says:

      Did you make it from scratch? I’d be interested in a recipe since I also have been wanting some since Amy shunned it.

      • Edward R. Burro says:

        Ina Garten’s recipe is really good and so is Anne Burrell’s. They are both on Clearly, unlike Amy, I do not shun the chicken pot pie.

    • JFA says:

      I make them all the time. I went veggie again and made one with fake chicken the other day and it was delish. She’s nuts and boring.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Chicken pot pies are delicious! Cathus and I used to get them from Marie Callender’s. Then we discovered the MC frozen pot pies. You microwave them with this special wrapper that makes the crust crispy. Cooks in about 10 minutes. So good.

      One of these days I want to try making them myself.

      • Dr. Gary, I used to make homemade CPP’s & it’s very easy. I don’t have exact ingredients & measurements, never did it the same way twice because it was usually based on readily available leftovers:

        Homemade dough, if that’s your thing, but store-bought is good too > white cream sauce from the Argo corn starch box recipe > leftover steamed veggies, or that small can of peas & carrots > leftover chicken or a small can of chicken (or tuna) > mix meat & veggies in sauce to your desired ratio > poke fork holes in top crust for steam to escape > this part I’m fuzz on: I think I’d gauged temp & cook time on an apple pie recipe.

        I’d use a glass pie pan when making a big one, but I also would buy the small aluminum throw-away pans at the grocery to make & freeze some for later (& cover those w/ foil during the first half of baking).

  20. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    It occurs to me that of the three Julia might be the least “difficult” on a date because she’s the least likely of the three to construe anything as a slight. With Amy and Emily I feel you have to walk on eggshells: “what did you MEAN by that remark?” (Etc.) With Julia you practically have to launch a grenade at her for her to realize she is in the presence of criticism (see, for example, how Toilet remains unbroken in two as of this writing).

    • This one is a no-boner says:

      It’s very easy to squash the whole ‘Miss Advised’ slash dating advice genre with regards to these women. All offer what men call ‘fatal flaws.’ Fatal flaws are traits that will never get you married, and men don’t overlook them. All of the ‘why am i single?’ or ‘let me match you up with someone compatible!’ and ‘sex radio makes me sexay’ bullshit are fatal flaws. OK, HERE IS WHY YOUR SINGLE (show over! careers fucked!): Julia, you’re loud and obnoxious. Amy, you’re a bore and will forever be a bore. Emily, you are acting like someone you probably are not – all of your sex talk and ‘openness’ about sex just masks that you actually have zero personality. But, the one flaw all of these girls have in common: they talk and walk as if they are much hotter than they actually are. That’s a big issue with a lot of single girls today. Daddy told them way too often (or not enough) how beautiful and special they were/are. Boner killer flaws. You’re welcome and I want column residuals.

      • 11th Wang says:

        Or, if you want to be a little more concise about it, none of these girls show any interest in anything aside from sex and relationships and themselves. Zzzzzzz. Get a hobby! Or five!

        • Cola chamPagne says:

          To be fair, that’s an editing flaw. I’m sure the producers aren’t interested in showing them doing anything else because it’s a show about dating.

        • mule on rouge says:

          Bingo! They have nothing to talk about! I bet every time Donkey meets a guy she deems stalkworthy, she interrogates them nonstop so she can chameoleonize her persona.

          • Meow Mix says:

            Exactly! Then she goes home and googles his interests till 5 AM, then tweets some random shit about an author or movie he said he liked.

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      Seriously, I suspect Julia has still yet to realize that Chris really didn’t want to be kissed by a donkey, even though he couldn’t have been more blatant about it had he duct taped his mouth shut. He was not “making her work for it.”

      Seriously, I thought his lips were going to crawl off the other side of his face and take flight. Sadsies.

      • Sake Bombardier says:


        • Cola chamPagne says:

          Best part of that date was when he told her “You seem like you’re person to getting what you want” or “People don’t say no to you” and she said, “Me no, I never get anything!!!!” Ok, Julia. It’s kind of ridiculous to get to her age and not accept rejection. Chill out, girl.

          Also did anyone watch the video with her and her mom walking on the beach? She told Julia she had to learn to listen to people and something along the lines that that was her biggest problem.

      • 11th Wang says:

        He’s a good kid.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      All three of them are horrible in a discrete manner. Julia is a Donkey, Emily thinks her farts smell like roses, and Amy is shallow, bitchy and has ZERO personality.

  21. JFA says:

    Can anyone relink to where this might bef ound online? My DVR is busted so I never go to watch Episode 2. I kow it’s somewhere in the comments but I am actually doing work today. Anyone can help a bitch out?

  22. melting marionette says:

    also: from last posting, fig said: .

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