I Have Failed You, And, For That, I Should Be Ashamed

I stand corrected. I have just been informed that Taylor Greason, formerly at Virgin Green Fund and recent Stanford University graduate, where he received his masters in sustainable built environment, whatever that is, and whose Pinterest is a sad and empty place, is indeed going to appear on Miss Advised, a program he watched with Viggle, again, whatever that is.

I sincerely apologize for giving you incorrect information. Apparently, I was misadvised.

Friends are said to be disappointed in him. I, for one, am disappointed in myself.

I am unworthy of this world.

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238 Responses to I Have Failed You, And, For That, I Should Be Ashamed

  1. They Call Me Jack says:

    Don’t do it, JP! We couldn’t go without you!

  2. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    Greg, we need your absolution here!

  3. The Final Rose says:

    Saddest picture ever!

    (But which picture am I talking about?)

  4. Pelts off the Charts says:

    JP we forgive you, and Greg forgives you!

  5. Canklehausen by Proxy says:

    JP, I want you to live.

  6. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    HYSTERICAL!

    PS, he is a fucking idiot. Really, what is his deal? What can he possibly get out of this besides looking like a fool? He fucked a Donkey. His friends hate the Donkey. Move on Greasy, you’re embarrassing yourself.

  7. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    A man with a Pinterest account is a such a lady boner killer I just say… excuse me while I pick my flaccid clitorous off the floor.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      “excuse me while I pick my flaccid clitorous off the floor”

      i like u

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      Eh, I guess I’m a boner killer. As a graphic designer/artist I’ve found it a great resource – wading through the dream wedding, mormon mommies and cupcakes crap is a pain.

    • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      I HAVE GOT TO FIND A WAY TO GET “FLACCID CLITOROUS” INTO A SENTENCE TODAY!!!!!!!

    • AFGHANI says:

      I have a Pinterest with gardening ideas (shade gardens, for example) and the only way I’m gay is if religious conservatives are right and anyone who supports equality is secretly gay

  8. Dr. Gary says:

    It’s okay, Daddy.

    I just hope they don’t cancel the show before Greasy the Tool makes his special guest appearance.

  9. Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

    Now, now, JP, hand over that gun. Don’t expect to ever get it back. Unless, of course, you fuck up like this again :-)

    • Princess WideStance says:

      I see you finally got your Picture Consultant credential. Congrats! I know that’s a lot of nights and weekends.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

        I went to a free seminar in Feb, then I signed up for the Gold Level Tutorial and well, here I am today! It wasn’t cheap, and is business is kinda slow to be honest, but I’ll be attending a Building Your Personal Brand seminar this weekend which is sure to take my game to the next level!

        • Jane says:

          I’m so happy for you, that sounds like such an amazing opportunity from an experimental perspective. You’re in such an exciting period right now and it’s good to see you have a clear timeline for doing more of your thoughtwork, at least from a governance standpoint.

  10. The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

    You need to say at least five Hail Gregs.

    Hail Donkey,
    full of Botox,
    the Bray is with thee;
    cursed art though among livestock,
    and cursed is the fruit of thy scheme juice, Miss Advised.
    Holy Donkey,
    mother of burros,
    pray for us obese basement-dwellers,
    now and at the hour of the jaws of life extracting us from the La-Z-Boy we’re permanently grafted to.
    Greg-men.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Amen

    • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

      Oh my:
      the bray is with YOU…
      cursed are YOU…
      And cursed is the fruit of YOUR…
      (there are laminated card-stock pages all over our church pews with these new-fangled prayer things.)
      Peace be with you and WITH YOUR SPIRIT.
      Greg-men

  11. Dr. Gary says:

    Oh my…

    [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/w2xec.png[/img]

    • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

      For realz?

      • bitchface says:

        for someone who contorts her body for EVERY pic and never takes a shot from her left side, she must be dying right now. They aren’t doing much of anything to paint her in a good light are they….

    • Bobby P. Mullet says:

      There is no way she is not wearing a Booty Pop.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Yup. That’s definitely padded. It looks like she is wearing a diaper. Uh oh, she must have had some gluten.

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          Agree, adult diapers ass.

          • Skirt Pull says:

            I thought she looked hot! Good for her for wearing fitted pants that show off the booty. She should date black and Latino men who appreciate it more than the white frat boys who like their women skinny.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            I agree, Skirt Pull, jesus fuck, it’s not ok to have any flesh anywhere, right, everyone else?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            She never looks hot, and those pants fit terribly. Big asses can absolutely be hot, but Julie A. never knows how to dress properly.

          • cola champagne says:

            They’re too tight, but I think it’s nice to have a butt.

            #Puerto Rican with no ass here

          • bitchface says:

            I wouldn’t give a shit if she weighed 382 pounds. The point is that she’s the one obsessing about weight (3 sips/ gluten / pescatarian/ bulimia/ blue print cleanse etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc) and shoveling it out there for all the girls.

            and that her biggest compliment for a woman is that they’re tiny & cute

          • Donkey of Perdition says:

            I like a nice round ass, big even but toned not a deflated plastic bag filled with lard and pockmarked by cellulite.

      • MY Beach Home says:

        Absolutely! There is no way that padded ass would have fit under the tennis skirt she wore to excel at volleyball on the beach.

        She has been planting little, “I have a Kim K ass” comments throughout the first 2 episodes so maybe she thought this would become a thing?

      • Total Jing says:

        I can see the pic on my work computer but Julia’s ass looked really good in those tight dresses she was trying on prior to the date on the 1st episode. Why she always wears the fluff skirt shit is beyond me.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I think she’s wearing a Poise diaper for older lady Donkeys.

    • mule on rouge says:

      They also showed a nice view from the front — her pants button was hollering “unclle”.

      • SchemeyNutButter says:

        [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/2lats48.png[/img]

        It’s never her body, it’s the fit and styling of her sartorial — Greg Almighty, how I hate that word now — choices that are a continual fail. She really should nominate herself for What Not to Wear. The few times she accidentally does get it right, she really can look great (as can pretty much everyone else on Planet Earth when wearing well-designed clothes that fit properly, regardless of body shape).

    • Random Snowflake says:

      I didn’t think it was possible.. but her ass actually got bigger.

    • cola champagne says:

      I’m not really convinced by this. She could have gained weight, and she’s one of those people who gains weight in the ass. I don’t see what anyone would have to gain by padding their ass. She’s not so forward thinking and calculating. If she were, she would have earned some kind of attachment to a brand. Think about it. She used to go on and on about BPC and then she gets on television and…silence. She used to promote so many other things on Twitter in exchange for free service but then she gets a national audience and forms no relationships with them to promote them? Not sure if Bravo wouldn’t allow it, but I would think that they would benefit from some of these people trying to buy ads in that space or just paying to have their products displayed. Sorry, but there is nothing Kardashian about her EXCEPT for the misshapen ass. Does anyone remember the burning man picture? She was smaller, because you could tell by her face that she was thinner, and her butt was still a mess.

      • 11th Wang says:

        Kim K’s ass is all muscle!!!! She works out like crazy! Donkey has a lazy, saggy, cellulite-ridden, flabby ass. It’s made of fat. She sits on the couch Googling herself all day.

        Donkey trying to make the Kim K comparison happen is hilarious to me because it takes a lot of WORK at a GYM to make a big ass look good.

        • cola champagne says:

          All muscle?

          [img]http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/JQpa7P.SI4Zng_UNfw3_9Q–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTMxMA–/http://media.zenfs.com/en_GB/News/Taletela/051011_kkardashian1a.jpg[/img]

        • New Year New You says:

          Kardash is far from all muscle, she’s been captured on the teevees and in photos with fat rolls on her stomach and back. She’s practically a cat lady.

          • New Year New You says:

            Perfect timing, see Cola’s photos above.

          • cola champagne says:

            And they don’t work out, although I think Kourtney might. The others take diet pills. That’s why their weight fluctuates a lot.

          • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

            I looked and felt GREAT when I was taking diet pills. Damn fatness.

    • There appears to be some elastic overhang spillage on her right flank … is D0nkey is wearing a Booty-Boost Butt Bra to hoist up her deflated raftass?

  12. Bobby P. Mullet says:

    I feel SO cringey and humiliated for him. Like, FOR REALZ?! Of course he is appearing on this bootleg show. He just seems so lecherous and smarmy…like he would OMG DIE to be one of the bachelors on “The Bachelorette”, only to be booted the first episode. Or, the boyfriend in Bring it On who goes away to college. Or, the boyfriend in Legally Blonde who goes away to college.

  13. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    “Friends are said to be disappointed in him.”

    He has friends?

  14. Can-Swiss says:

    He seems as much of a famewhore as Julia and Randi. Not surprised at all.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I wonder what he thinks his end game is. Does he really want to be Googled and remembered for this?

      I wonder if Julia and Greasy’s current GF will be BFF’s after Donkey talks about her and Greasy’s relationship but how he couldn’t be emotional and loving enough towards her (vom).

  15. fig says:

    Courtney Love is totally watching Miss Advised! http://twitter.com/Courtney/status/218241239273844736

    (I’m sure she doesn’t, but this made me giggle this morning.)

  16. MY Beach Home says:

    So he is the ex she referred to in the meeting with her editor. Makes sense as he is the only one I can think of who is skanky enough to do so, unless Jelly D is going to play an ex too. Cannot wait for next Monday!

    • Skirt Pull says:

      I feel like my head would explode if they put Jelly D on there. It’s a concept that I don’t know would translate that well to the rest of the world beyond the context of SF.

  17. Rosalie says:

    Hello! I have a question for you fine catladies: Is there an alternative way to watch the Spreecast that doesn’t require having flash? Due to chronic pain, I’m relegated to using my iPhone & iPad, and it seems I’m out of luck. Am I missing anything?

    • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

      Rosalie, I’ve been told that the “SkyFire” web browser for iPad supports Flash. How and how well I dunno…

    • Celisse says:

      Puffin also works for flash. I have both apps because they seem to work on different sites. Neither one shows all flash. But if a site doesn’t work on one, usually it works on the other.

  18. MissDespised is the New JA Pilot says:

    Donkey makes Mare Mare look like a genius..

  19. Rosalie says:

    I’ll check that out later today!

  20. Scooby Don't says:

    I kind of figured he was since in the great gallery of blurred faces and the Donkey Bravo posted, he was the only “ex” to have a clear face so I assumed he’d signed a release for this shit show. This is going to turn out well for you, Greasy.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      How does that explain Jack McCain and family used in a picture? Or does it not need to be cleared if a Donkey took the picture? Hmmmm???

      • cola champagne says:

        Maybe they don’t need to be blurred because they are public figures.

      • virgil reid says:

        im going to go out on a limb here (because i’m not sure this is the case), but because other photos of him have been in the press before, he might be considered a public figure despite the fact he isn’t actually one, at least in my opinion.

        • emma bourricot says:

          I am lulzing at the idea of Bravo blurring out Jack’s photo but leaving his parents’ faces. I wish they would have!

      • Anon says:

        It might have been a AP picture or another news org, in which case it’s free reign, i believe.

        • D says:

          She probably took the photo or Bravo has some sort of license agreement with the photo agency who took it (or they reached out and got permission). Just because it is on a news agency site, does not mean it is fair use. Usually people err on the side of caution and clear it with the copyright owner or agency.

          I don’t think Pancakes would be a public figure per se, but he might be a vortex or limited purpose public figure. Either way, still wouldn’t affect whether or not photos can be used of him. The McCain family is pretty careful about their images being used ( I’ve had personal experience with this) so I think Bravo definetly was careful. With the photos of the exes, I think most likely they blurred the faces out because the individuals will not be appearing and they are respecting their right to privacy. This tends to be pretty standard with networks ( also don”t want to deal with any type of lawsuit threat).

          P.S DONKEY

  21. DSM-V: JFA Edition says:

    Good judgment is not a strong point in any of these assholes.
    I am hopeful that the scotus upholds the aca today bc this show will definitely count as a pre-existing condition for our special donk.

  22. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    The Viggle part is hysterical considering everything we’ve heard about him being a cheap motherfucker.

    Viggle essentially lets you “check in” to TV shows for points and then cash in those points for rewards. So if you watch like 50 hours of television you can earn enough points for a $2.50 gift card at Best Buy.

    Tool.

    • cola champagne says:

      I got one $5 card for B&N and then decided I can’t be bothered to watch that much television.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Good Greg in heaven, that’s lay-um. He and Julie are soulmates in trying to be big deals but then doing all these bottom feeder cheesy skillet nonsense little grifts.

      Also, can’t the man ever close his damn mouth?

  23. So. Blessed. says:

    Completely OT:
    Our cat-sister Pink Palatian had asked the basement for good suggestions re: freelancing gigs for writers a few days ago and there was a site/cite/sight mentioned. Either all of my Ctrl-F skills have failed me or the OG JP has been so on fire that the comment thread is further back than I thought.

    I am illuminating the cat-signal for Pink Palatian as well as myself and apologize as I know it’s better for the forum, which is currently dunzo. The paychecks at my current desk errand are now bouncing and we’ve been locked out of the building twice this month with brush-off explanations from the owner. At this point I’d be more than willing to write copy for Booty Pop panties or edit the text for the side of a cereal box.

    Any suggestions welcome, thank you in advance.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      i remember this for some reason, the website was this https://contently.com/network

      but i don’t have any personal experience with writing for pay (is why i was a math major)

      • So. Blessed. says:

        :) Yes!
        [img]http://cms2.good.is/posts/post_full_1284761463math-class-is-tough-barbie.jpg[/img]

    • emma bourricot says:

      I didn’t see the original thread (anyone have it?), but I think a MediaBistro membership is worth the money for their “How to Pitch” and “Pitches that Won” sections, especially if you’re trying to freelance a piece for a national audience.

    • Pink Palatian says:

      Indeed.com was also mentioned—if you’re in NYC, there’s also a meetup called Gainfully Unemployed that has many, many workshops on job-hunting related things. Since I’m temping as an editor (for a former JA vehicle, mind you!), I haven’t been to more than one but when this is over I’ll be back, if I haven’t found anything yet.

  24. stalker is the new fat says:

    HOLY SHIT THE HEALTH CARE LAW WAS UPHELD

    literally shaking and crying

    so happy

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      Wow. This is huge. I really didn’t expect this outcome from this Court.

      • stalker is the new fat says:

        me neither, I am so surprised!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Roberts actually voted like a lawyer, not an ideologue. Who knew?

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            I didn’t think he had it in him. I thought he was just full of sawdust and scheme juices.

          • Not! Random! says:

            He cares about his legacy as Chief Justice and realizes that it was all but trashed after Citizens United. Hopefully we are seeing the beginning of a Brennan/Burger/Souter style transition.

          • woodworklurker says:

            This is an excellent article on the Roberts opinion. (from the NY Daily News, who would have thought it) http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/john-roberts-evil-genius-article-1.1103982

            As a health care lawyer practising in the US (and a Canadian), I’m happy with the outcome, but not so much with the actual decision.

          • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

            @woodworklurker: That’s my line of thinking. Plus striking down the Medicaid expansion means a whole lot of red states opting out, which means a whole lot of poor people having to pay a tax they couldn’t possibly afford. It looks like a win, but I think this will be a disaster in the long run.

          • Donkey of Perdition says:

            Agree JP. Everyone has to get on board or it won’t work, the Red States won’t take the money, screw their residents over, and then claim it doesn’t work.

          • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

            I’m stil trying to figure out how it’s possible to tax inactivity.

          • juliaspublicist says:

            It’s not inactivity. Everyone at some point in their lives takes part in our health system.

          • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

            Ok. Everyone breathes air. To make it healthy the govt decides that everyone should buy electric cars and put solar cells on their roof. You don’t have to, but if you don’t you will be taxes 1% of your income. If you fall under the poverty line you will be given assistance to comply. I like a lot of the health care law, but I fear the way the decision was crafted opens up some bad in intended consequences.

          • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

            Also, I cannot type on an iPad without making myself appear illiterate.

          • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

            I think we are both agreeing here but coming at it at different angles. The healthcare law is far from perfect, and I think it will create a bigger mess than the mess we have now.

        • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

          We agree JP. It’s a bad rule because ther will be people we don’t like that take advantage in the future.

    • So. Blessed. says:

      Thanks be to Greg. Holy frock!

    • CDB says:

      wow so happy

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      My wing nut libertarian friends are raising a stink on FB, time to start defriending….

      • stalker is the new fat says:

        past time, hon.

      • Same here, Jordache. My sane & logical friends are sending me PM’s & cheering, others are frothing at the mouth & spewing shit out their asses & driving me up the wall.

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          Ha, an annoying knee jerk conservative former classmate just launched People vs. Obamacare….

          • I just put handfuls of people on ignore — I’m more interested in the updates from my friends in CO* who are at risk of losing everything to the wildfires.

            * I hope none of our basement kittehs are affected

          • Joardache & the Pelts says:

            Ugh, turns out he’s communications director for RNC now, not surprised. What does surprise is many of my seemingly level headed friends, who are very liberal – at least in lifestyle and do-gooding- are bitching on FB about this. Then again, they already have health insurance.

        • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          Oh Good Greg I love this place!! My FB page is completely blanketed by Tea Party vitriol and gloom-and-doom predictions of the downfall of this country. What cracks me up is I see some people who NEED this also thinking the end of times has come. I’m deeply disappointed with the reactions of people I ‘thought’ I knew yet am way too chicken to contradict them. Either way, I know how I’m voting.

        • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          This Brayella. Why is it I don’t feel like I can cheer for this yet there’s like 80 of my ‘friends’ publicly condemning this. The other 100 are privately cheering. I don’t get it.

          • I’m glad to know that I’m in such good company ~ friends sending me PM’s are (already were before today) some of the smartest people I know whose opinions I value even if theirs & mine don’t align ~ I think so many are silently cheering because it’s apparent that intelligent conversation can’t / won’t be had all around.

      • Total Jing says:

        Oh, I know. I’m close to defriending a bunch too.

        Oy! I work in healthcare and see first hand the need. I just can’t stomach reading those status updates.

    • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

      No matter what side you fall on this is hilarious, and sad, because it is an example of how uninformed our electorate is:

      http://leeleeleelee.tumblr.com/post/26072761912/conservatives-react-to-the-affordable-care-act-on

    • AFGHANI says:

      Poor substitute for single payer health insurance/national health care. And 200 pages of Sup Ct opinion will be a b**** for future law students to read. And since it involves the Commerce Clause, they definitely will be reading it. Even with editing and excerpting, it’s still going to be a massive pain.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      I need to read up on this more. From the little I’ve read so far it sounds like all this healthcare reform does is force people to purchase medical insurance, and charge them a tax penalty if they do not purchase it.

      Are the insurance companies going to still be able to turn people down for “pre-existing conditions,” and are they going to be forced to make it actually affordable?

      It seems that those without health insurance are more likely to be low income folks who work jobs like fast food, etc.. where no insurance is offered. If they can’t afford insurance, are they to be penalised come tax return time each year?

      Like I said, I need to look into this further.. Can anyone more knowledgeable here chime in with how this healthcare reform actually works?

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Basically it bans hugely profitable insurers from cutting people off for pre-existing conditions like the callous, greedy thieves that they can be. It also cuts costs by making sure low-income people are insured and not using emergency rooms for basic care. They are already seeing cost reductions in the short time it’s been in place. The medical community — doctors and nurses — are overwhelmingly in favor of it.

        Romney’s saying he’ll repeal it to appeal to the base but he won’t. Even congressional Republicans are privately acknowledging that it’s working. The most he’ll do is give states a waiver system to opt out — and most of them won’t.

        Just my two cents.

  25. Sake Bombardier says:

    Honestly, I don’t see what Greasy has to lose at this point.

  26. Did ya’ll know that Bravo is hosting a Miss Advised: “Dress to Impress page where you can vote on Emily & Amy’s cute outfits, & on D0nkey’s dragstumes?

    http://www.bravotv.com/miss-advised/season-1/photos/what-theyre-wearing/dressed-to-impress#image-127441

    D0nkey is bringing up the rear.

    • cola champagne says:

      I like Amy’s style the best.

      • Donkeycam Now! says:

        Agreed.

        Emily is stuck in the ’80s. She probably owns several pairs of leg warmers.

        Which of Donk’s outfits says “take me to see your mom and I’ll give you a BJ in the car”?

    • Scooby Don't says:

      So far Julia’s Justin date costume has the most votes at a whopping 38.
      The multitude of fans has spoken!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      D0nkey is bringing up the rear.

      She always brings the rear.

      Amy’s motherfucking berets need to go. I can’t believe she has at least two of them, exactly the same but in slightly different colors.

      Also, has anyone verified (or refuted) her claim to be 34?

      • 34? I would have guessed mid-40′s before mid-30′s. Wow.

        How? the hell does she expect to sell a book on dating advice when she’s failing so miserably? I would think that her dating service itself will be taking a huge hit as this show goes on …

        • bitchface says:

          maybe it’s because she’s so skinny – if she put on about 10 pounds her face would flesh out and she’d look younger

        • mule on rouge says:

          I thought the same thing! This show could be the death of her business. If anybody watches it, that is. She’s probably safe.

      • JFA says:

        Her beret look is awful. She is way too put together. Also yes she is my age and it scares me. But she already fucks with her face so good job sailor.

        What are they discussing? Cannot watch at work. I’m sure it’s some bs about how women should never call me, ever, if they ever want to be married with babies. She is the worst.

      • Scooby Don't says:

        http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-05-27/local/27065474_1_manhattan-man-web-site-mate
        In this article on the lawsuit filed against Laurent (later dropped) her age is listed as 33 in May 2010

        http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-05-27/local/27065667_1_first-date-bachelors-lawyer

        This quote from the article was interesting:
        Laurent fired back that Friedland was “very picky” and suggested he look in the mirror to find the source of his dating woes. “Some people can’t handle rejection, so they put the blame on us,” she said.

        “I want the best for people but I can only work with what I’m given.”

        But in the end everyone hugged and made up!

    • Princess WideStance says:

      Her reason for wearing that bright pink Juicy abomination: “…men are like dogs: their eye goes to shiny, bright, colorful objects.”

      SHUT UP, you fucking hosebeast.

      • cola champagne says:

        Well, they’re not pedophiles, Julie, so stop dressing like my 6 year old niece.

      • stalker is the new fat says:

        Men, like dogs, can smell and avoid rotten meat.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I thought dogs were at least partially colorblind.

      • So. Blessed. says:

        I think dogs care little about colors (bright) or objects (shiny)–they rely more upon senses of smell and sound. My dog goes for beef jerky, cheese, squeak toys, and worn underwear–guess I should be constructing some Lady Gaga couture for da club this weekend. So ill of her “men are dogs tee hee” refrain.

        St. Stankypelt Tinnitus brays alone.

      • Breakfast Burro-ito says:

        Swim. Skirt.

        • cola champagne says:

          Juicy is struggling because they can’t shed that tacky image they’ve got going on, and Julia is going to make them sink even lower. Stop wearing velour, you’re killing the company!

  27. OhMyGreg! Arthur Kade, interviewing Amy Laurent! Now she’s just sad …
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ygu_eTD8ENY#!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Clash of the Horribles!

      Now Eric Schaeffer has to interview Julie Albertson, so they can realize they’re soulmates. Or whatever people who have no souls are mates of.

      That leaves either Dmitri the Lover or John Fitzgerald Page for Emily. Or both, since she loves threesomes so much.

      • JFA says:

        LOLLLLLl. Gawker days of yore fameballs. I miss those days. My first comment was about an Eric Schaeffer post. That guy was the worst. I wonder where JFP is today.

        • diluted brain says:

          I think Eric Schaffer were my only gawker comments… ever. I miss coverage on him. His name gave me a good laugh and made me feel nostalgic. Wonder whatever happened to him… I’ll have to google him unlike donkey who would put up fb and twitter statuses asking his whereabouts.

          • JFA says:

            Be careful…there are pics out there of him nekkid. Not something you want to see, and the image is burned in my brain. I remember some choice quote about all women really wanting to be hit over the head, dragged into a cave and raped. He was a winner.

        • Fashion Girl says:

          I’ll never, ever forgot how he was ALWAYS on Nerve. Like, 24 hours a day. He contacted me a few times, and I remember thinking he was cute but that something seemed way off with him. Then he showed up on Gawker and…the rest is history. Shudder.

          • JFA says:

            OMG HE WAS ALWAYS ON THERE. And he was ALWAYS the number 1 guy on there…most popular male or something, which I later learned was something related to pageviews, which basically meant he was clicking on EVERYONE thus leading EVERYONE to him. He wrote to me as well. I bet he wrote to literally every at-least-moderately-attractive woman on there between the ages of 21-35.

          • JFA says:

            ETA: Nerve back in the day for single ladies was some fun. I can’t knock OkCupid these days as I met my love on there, but…there was something so much more sorta innocent and fun about nerve as compared to OKC. I don’t know. I had some fun on there starting in my mid 20s. I know they still exist but OKC basically cornered the market now. Maybe I’m just old and the kids need to get off my lawn.

          • SchemeyNutButter says:

            Darn. I’d forgotten all about Schaeffer. And that other slimy guy, what’s his name … I think both JABa and Gould went out with him. Soooooo creepy. (Don’t bother to remind me of his name, please.)
            Oh frick, and that doofus JFP. These are not characters we ever needed to remember!
            I am only thankful that JABa didn’t score this lifelong dream to be on a reality show back then; she’d have Bravo hauling out the releases for these losers.
            Though Amy did have that AB oil slick on with her … he scores pretty high on the nauseating meter.

          • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

            I think Kelly Kreth did too. Is the one you’re thinking of that guy who thought he was really good looking? Had a practiced sultry-stare and went on some low-rent talk shows to discuss his horniness and secksy-times?

      • Scooby Don't says:

        Don’t forget Paul Janka!
        I’m still not talking to myself for making me read about his “dates” with Kelly Kreth and Moe Tkacik.

        • SchemeyNutButter says:

          Ew, right, that’s who I meant, Scooby Dont. Ugh. (I hate you now.)
          /no, not really

        • Greg'sWife (literally) aka DirtyLakeMichigan says:

          Ugh… should have read one more response before I posted above!

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Oh, god! The creepy date raper guy with the spreadsheet. Totally forgot about him.

  28. cola champagne says:

    OT, but wtf? Why is she so concerned with her hair? She almost looks like she can’t play.

    [img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VvkKHwLzP4&feature=youtu.be[/img]

      • Dr. Gary says:

        I tried to watch this, but the *beat boxing violin player* made my ears bleed.

        • cola champagne says:

          I jumped around a lot. You only need to watch 30 seconds to see that she’s not very talented. However, I do think she should take up acting. She does it well on the show.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Here’s what’s interesting about this video of Toilet Julia – Donkey posted this on bother her Facebook (75,000 LOLsubscribers) and Twitter (65,000+) “fans” – so if Julia has so much influence – why can Toilet only get 638 views???

        This is Donkey’s problem – she can purchase all the FB likes she wants and all the Twitter fans she wants – but she is no influencer. I’m guessing those checks for Cheesy Skillets amounted to nothing if this is the best she can do.

      • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

        She’s actually a decent singer.

        • cola champagne says:

          I thought so with the first song we heard here, and I don’t think she’s terrible, but I think there are so many people like her out there: pretty, thin, play an instrument and can carry a tune. IMO she doesn’t really stand out.

        • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

          Not for a professional. She has a really weak voice.

          • SchemeyNutButter says:

            Ya, I agree JP. Her voice sounds all reedy like it’s in the top of her throat.

      • maid of dishonor says:

        I don’t know why, but I clicked on the link of her singing “Call Me Maybe”…is she wearing JA’s pink gingham dress (as seen midair in the left side of the background of RBD)?

    • Peltergeist says:

      CRINGE about all of this. The giant Casio outside, the “Oh, didn’t see you there!” repeated hair flip, the captions, the cold stare of a beatboxing violinist… Eesh.

  29. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    OT and related to the previous thread, but….

    …HOW FUCK did Juliar Baugher get 10 people to go to dinner with her?

  30. MissDespised is the New JA Pilot says:

    Gee I thought since Lilly is Donkey’s therapist that at least one episode would be about Lilly..

  31. CaptainGary says:

    OT – hey, Donks is boring as fuck right now, since she’s scheming how to spin the MISSadvised move on Elle’s part to distance themselves from her “writing – but it’s me and my old catlady’s 4th anniversary today (hi, Breakfast Burro-ito!) and, as a gift to each other, we decided to bite the bullet and buy tix to go to Croatia in late September/early October!

    Have any of you jelly haters ever left your basements long enough to go? We’re flying into Dubrovnik and out of Zagreb, so any and all suggestions of what to see/where to stay and other nearby must-see locales would be greatly appreciated! Right now we’re thinking Dubrovnik/Split/Slovenia/Zagreb and maybe Trieste in there somewhere.

    Come on, you fatties – hit us with suggestions!

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      no suggestions to offer but so jelly; hope it’s a blast.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      Hvala Bogu! Happy anniversary!

      I have no ideas, when I think of Croatia I think of war, so…

    • fig says:

      All I know second hand is: go to the beach / fishing harbors and eat a ton of fresh calamari from the grill!

    • AFGHANI says:

      My suggestion would be to reprogram for something more like Budapest, Prague, and Bratislava. Hope this helps.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      No, I’ve heard amazing things about Croatia. It’s a big hot spot… dying to know where you go and how much you like it.

    • Flying Donkeycopter says:

      No suggestions but have some friends who sailed and traveled Croatia and they had a blast.

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      I’ve been to Dubrovnik and surrounding islands about 5 times—it’s incredible. Soooo beautiful. But I’ve only been in August. And never to the inland areas—always on the Dalmatian Coast. Lots of amazeballs history—
      you’ll love it!

  32. Cake Liar says:

    Sorry if I’ve missed this, but could someone please point me toward where I can watch the Miss Advised shitshow? I’m in the UK and haven’t been able to find it yet. As a longg standing hardcore fan of this site, all this chat is makin me feel like I’m outside the basement now! *sobs into bag of Cheetos*

  33. RachelD says:

    This is somewhat unrelated, but I’m watching Episode 2 now. As annoying as JA is (and dear Jesus, writing a column is not that hard!), at least she pronounces words mostly right. What the f is up with Amy’s accent? “Proctice” instead of “practice,” “Okai” instead of “OK”…Jesus, she’s like the New York version of a Valley Girl. Also, her rules are so backward and stupid that no wonder she’s single.

    • RachelD says:

      More examples:
      Laid bach (it’s BACK! BACK!)
      Thank yo (YOU!)

      SHE HAS TO GO RUNNING TO BURN OFF A HOT CHOCOLATE?! Shouldn’t one of her rules be not to talk about calories in front of a dude? Men (actually everyone) find this gross. And stop ending sentences like they’re questions.

      “I went out with Lewis just for prock-tice? And all of the sudden I’m starting to like hem?”

      • CaptainGary says:

        This very sentence stuck in my craw as well. She sounds like a flight attendant for Virgin America. Or Lo from The Hills.

    • JFA says:

      She’s absolutely awful. I don’t know whether I loathe her or pity her. Also this LI girl is sensing major LI girl in her, though she seems to have scrubbed any and all online bios of such info, including where she went to college, which is just weird. She’s just a very sad, misguided, unhappy person.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        This is why I think she’s lying about her age; you can’t find what year she graduated from high school or college anywhere.

        • RachelD says:

          I think you’re right. She has to be older than she says, otherwise she wouldn’t be bothered by guys in their late 20s.

          I’m also annoyed because I had a cat before I was married and probably broke all of her rules…and yet, somehow I still managed to find an amazing guy to marry me. And I did it all without wearing a stupid hat or butt implants, imagine that.

      • Joardache & the Pelts says:

        “Laurent” is probably her middle name. All these bitches seem to do that.

  34. RachelD says:

    Julia Price is such an Underminer! I kind of love it!

    • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

      Julia Price is a heinous bitch. She’s the worst “sister” we’ve seen yet.

      • Peltergeist says:

        Isn’t she?! If I was just watching the show I’d think she was a no-nonsense, sarcastic friend (which is fine and Julia sure needs one of those), but six little words from her past show her to be just another nasty famewhore: Matching Christmas Sweaters On The Beach.

      • RachelD says:

        She makes MMBH look like one of Sleeping Beauty’s fairy godmothers.

      • anon says:

        ugh, she’s terrible. She really makes me feel sorry for Julia Allison, which is saying something. My own sister takes this attitude toward me on occasion for no particular reason . . . so I start thinking J.A. is just being persecuted. Her disgust over J.A.’s tutus made me feel like she is the kind of mean girl who polices harmless eccentricity in other women. Not that J.A. is truly harmless . . . .

      • Factory Seconds says:

        At least we don’t feel bad about calling her Toilet Julia now!

  35. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    At some point this dingleberry must have decided that a sneer equals sexiness and covers up a multitude of sins.

    It’s like a skirt pull for his face.

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