Donk: Idiot

So Donkey is all up in someone’s face on Twitter claiming she cried on camera when given a deadline by the Elle.com guy because there were cameras in her face that she found not just “highly intrusive” but “HIGHLY intrusive.”

Um.

Hey, stupid-ass donkey. It’s a funny thing about reality shows. There are cameras.

She’s also going to be THAT reality show idiot, isn’t she? The one constantly whinging about what they edited out and how, even though she looked like a total crazy asshole, she isn’t really a total crazy asshole.

Shut the fuck up and own your own insanity, you lunatic. You pursued a reality show for five years and now you’ve got one. We’ve been telling you for four years what a colossally annoying mess you are; now a national television audience is seeing it too because you refuse to deal with your mental illness and instead believe yourself to be a relatable, quirky, adorable, lovable mentalcase. WRONG. So, so wrong. You are not normal. There is something profoundly wrong with you. Seek years of motherfucking professional help, not a goddamned tarot-card reader.

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156 Responses to Donk: Idiot

  1. Julia's Crypt Keeper says:

    FREE LILLY

  2. juliajane says:

    HIGHLY intrusive is actually a good way of describing Julia Allison.

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      Also, HIGHLY delusive.

    • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

      Heh-heh! The other week, Communist Best Friend I’ve mentioned here before was telling me about “Eat Pray Love” (that I never read or saw, she just saw the movie I believe), and summed it up as “deeply irritating,” using the English words for some reason. That works too.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        I love the phrase ‘deeply irritating,’ because it suggests a feeling akin to having a tiny pest burrowing into one’s upper arm.

  3. Donkeycam Now! says:

    Do catladies remember Paula Abdul’s epic meltdown on her reality show a few years ago? The clip made it to The Soup and went viral.

    Paula, with little makeup, was crying like a baby and shouting that “her life was out of control” after she suffered some minor setback.

    Donks just tried to do a re-enactment of that, hoping it would go viral, but she is such a lousy actress that no tears came out and, like most things she does, it just looked stupid.

    Intrusive my ass!

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Busted Face donkey is busted.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Her miscalculation (and yes, I believe it was a calculation): lots of people want to see a celebrity losing their shit. (Alec Baldwin, Charlie Sheen, I rest my case.) Virtually nobody cares about seeing a not-even-microcelebrity lose their shit.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        well, virtually nobody except some unhinged cat ladies covered in cheeto dust, that is.

  4. JFA says:

    Does anyone see this not ending up ANYWHERE besides her in a straight jacket at some fancy Dadsers’ sponsored psych ward?

    Also LOL cameras are intrusive y’all. Poor her. Poor reality show participant lady with the camera in her face who was expected to meet a deadline.

    • JFA says:

      Also yes, she is going to be that idiot. For YEARS she is going to be saying “But you didn’t see the WHOLE STORY.”

      STFU.

    • juliajane says:

      I don’t know… I really think her parents financial support has enabled her delusions of grandeur and held off a breakdown. Their financial support means she flails from town to town without any real consequences, and her constant schemes means she always has a couple of fake friends using her as much as she is using them. I can see this continuing indefinitely, until maybe her parents force her to move back to Chicago, where she will continue the same behaviour in their condo and on their dime.

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        This. They simply will never sacrifice the façade of a normal, happy family that they THINK they have built (whereas everyone can see their daughter is a miserable, mentally ill asshole). They care more about their image than their mentally ill daughter.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        “What’s the plan now, Julia?”

  5. Julia's Crypt Keeper says:

    Now now you know Lilly is her Therapist..which explains why she miss-treats Lilly and leaves her withothers

  6. SchemeyNutButter says:

    After yammering — on camera — about the Elle gig being her dream job, yet immediately — on camera — asking for an extension on her first deadline, her subsequent backtracking on twitter about why she played the dramatic meltdown card — on camera — so early in the game is hardly convincing.
    More like, “Fuck, they are actually going to make me go out on assignment right now and meet a deadline. [Yet she was awfully quick to slap the Elle logo up on her FB page]. I don’t have time for this! This is not what I wanted! Why is there so much pressure?! Waaa waaa waaaa.”
    JABa expects Bravo to weave reality and “reality” into a magic carpet of effortless luxury and adoration. An endless fauxto shoot of her and her fabulous friends/wardrobe drifting through a charmed life in candlelight. Dream sequences of her being showered with gifts and rapt attention while squired around in limos to destination dates by an endless stream of admirers vying to be chosen the one.
    As the episodes unfold, however, it appears Madam Baugher is learning too late that for all its blatant sham and fakery, this Bravo version of reality cuts uncomfortably close to the unvarnished truth.

    • As I mentioned in an earlier thread, this indicates to me that my continual scorn of her for her supposed “journalism” background was well deserved. IF she were an actual journalist with a specialty area, she could not only come up with 4-5 pitches in an hour but also write a column in an afternoon. My last job, I had to do the same thing — and I was excited by the prospect of sharing my knowledge, not crying and freaking out about being expected to actually do some work to prove my worth.

      OT: I’m in NYC now, looking for work & sleeping on a friend’s couch until it all falls into place. If any catladies know of writing/editing/temp work please let me know! I’m working for a magazine for the next few weeks but after that is up in the air. :)

      • chesca says:

        check out contently.com

      • Get a Stylist-Your Dad Does Not Want Nut Butter says:

        Hey Pink,
        I was on indeed.com last night and there were writing jobs/temp jobs…the navigation isn’t the greatest, but definitely give them a look.
        Good Luck

        • Pink Palatian says:

          Thanks! I’ve been on there in the past but not since moving to NYC. Will check it out again for sure. :)

    • The Normal Healthy Julia says:

      I cannot imagine telling the editor Elle (my “dream job”) that I can’t start working tomorrow because I have to unpack.

      • stalker is the new fat says:

        and didn’t she get a task rabbit person to do the unpacking for her? So she missed her deadline because she had to supervise someone unpacking.

  7. Dr. Fraud, MD says:

    “Narcissistic Personality Disorder depression is often precipitated by a crisis that punctures the narcissistic grandiosity and reflects the discrepancy between NPD expectations or fantasies and reality.” (Beck, 1990)

    Are we about there yet? Or is all this attention simply feeding the inner hosebeast?

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      The red carpet shit will fuel her delusion that this is a good thing, that her life is something others are jealous of, etc.

      These people only even START to consider getting help when faced with utter abandonment by their enablers. Sad to say that her parents show no signs of enacting tough love and allowing their daughter to suffer the consequences of her actions. So she’ll be like this forever, a miserable laughingstock.

    • Skirt Pull says:

      Quite frankly, I’m now worried this may end badly.

      • anonymous says:

        i have bipolar and i didn’t start working to get together until i was forced to deal with consequences. so this is true. but you need insight to get there first.

  8. fig says:

    All non-american catladies: the episode is now available on the internet.

    • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

      I appreciate the thought, fig, but this is something I definitely kant.

      • fig says:

        I admit, I didn’t even manage to watch half of it. Had to quickly close the browser window when the two guys arrived for the beach date.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          No, fig, you gotta go back in and watch the beach date. It is rich, rich, rich material if you can just get past the Canklehausen. Recommend.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          The beach date is like summiting Mount Fremdschämen for realz. I have rarely been so embarrassed for someone else.

    • SchemeyNutButter says:

      That’s great fig! Can you point me in the right direction? I’m dying to make a gif or two.

  9. juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

    ; /

    That was my Bell’s Palsy face of complete and utter shock. Fucking idiot.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      Hey, JP, you are on my mind a lot.

      • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

        ; /

        That was my Bell’s Palsy smile.

      • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

        But actually things are a lot better. I can move my eye brows and am getting some movement back on the right side of my mouth. And I learned that when it comes to oral sex, you just have to go in at a different angle.

        • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

          That’s great. And I’m glad you’re making the important adjustments. :)

        • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

          Your writing remains very stuff!

        • Preacher Jim says:

          Sodomite: in deference to your amazing writing skills and, although I hate to admit it, lol-tastic sense of humor, I have not said the obvious…but here it is: swear off sodomy or the second shoe’ll drop. I say this because Sister Preacher Jim saw that “different angle” comment and is still out in a dead faint. So…you know..she’ll want to know if I warned you off while she was out. So…I did.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        Mine too. Live long and prosper.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Lulz

  10. Stripper Shoes And Questionable Hygiene says:

    #MostDespised #ad

    Next season.

  11. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    Thanks for the great post, Jacy. I had read all those tweets this morning and hoped someone would pick up on them.

    Julia’s twitter madness was in response to a single “ordinary” tweet promoting the second review of Miss Advised on Wordsmoker (entitled, wonderfully, “Miss Advised: Yes, You Really Are That Repulsive”).

    Julia sent five tweets, one after the other, all of them replying to @themisslinda, so the original tweet linking to the article appears five times on her feed.

    It was so fascinating to me that she felt compelled to tweet manically at someone who has made their views publically clear (final sentence from the review: “And Julia…ugh. You know how people always say “just be yourself”? Well, that advice does not apply to you. Try being anyone but yourself next time.”) Why does she do that? If it were me, I would ignore the bad press, not engage with it. After all, it only validates the writer if Julia replies to her FIVE times. Also, the review didn’t even mention the crying, so wtf? The whole thing is out of control.

    • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

      Yeah that was the weirdest part about it. She wasn’t even TALKING TO YOU!

      GET A FUCKING THERAPIST!

  12. Donkey of Perdition says:

    I wasn’t crying over the pitches. I was crying over the fact that I had to somehow dress up, get to Hollywood (sans car) …and write an article for him (that I thought had to be 1000 words) by 11 pm. That call was at 5 pm. Plus …I had just flown across the country, moved all these boxes in, I had no idea where a suitable dress even was & ..and I had cameras in my face, which I found UNBELIEVABLY uncomfortable (first day shooting LA). THAT is why I was crying.

    This excuse was the most bizarre, bitchy, bs excuse I’ve heard from her in a long time. In the spreecast, right in the beginning, she was twisting TJ arm, trying to get her to play along with her alibi, TJ eventually played along but Julia’s face was hilarious, it was “COME ON TJ, PEOPLE ARE WATCHING, COME ON, JUST AGREE”. Her modus operandi of lying her way out of things doesn’t work anymore, everything is documented, its all on tv, and her lazy raft is being exposed.

    Pumping and dumping 1000 words in an hour or two is easy, especially for an OMG journalist. The whole world just watched Julia’s default princess, I don’t want to work, so I’ll cry and get out of it response. You know the same thing my thirteen year old sister does. The fucked up part is that the whole ELLE job is fake.

    My favorite of the bs excuse is “sans car”. Bitch has never take public transportation in her life .

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      I had no idea where a suitable dress even was

      The Eternal Truth of Julia Allison.

    • cola champagne says:

      All the excuses make her look worse. If she had this idea, SHE SHOULD HAVE ALREADY HAD A PITCH. No one seems to mention that to her! Also, what? You have to find a dress and a car? Uh, no and no. She figured out the zip car and uber car system in NY, there must be similar or she could have borrowed a car. She could have gone shopping very quickly for a dress. And she was uncomfortable in front of the cameras because she’s had over 1,000 appearances on various news stations? God, just stop. You look STUPID. None of those excuses stick. The kids from Laguna Beach and The Hills were fine. Did you ever see Cavallari cry? Uh, no. Never.

      • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

        Exactly, all of this. The gist of her excuses seems to be that she is completely unfamiliar with all the new and confusing and highly intrusive pressure-inducing concepts such as “writing,” “dressing for work,” “TV cameras” or “traveling” (digital nomad, yo!). Seriously, if you can’t do better than that, Expert Consultant Donk, and you obviously can’t, focus on learning to sit down and be quiet.

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          This! She is supposedly an expert in all the things she claimed hindered her: traveling (digital nomad), tight deadline (journalist), clothing (NY Fashion week), tv cameras (on air personality CNN, MSNBC, FOX, etc), and she had movers. She fails in her areas of expertise not only in real life but also on a fake contrived show; she failed in imaginationland where even a three toed humpback donkey could succeed.

      • donkolnikov says:

        wasn’t working for Elle her dream “forever”? she was completely blindsided that they actually wanted her to, you know, work on their schedule?

        she’s a lazy donkey and she can’t even keep her lies straight.

      • SchemeyNutButter says:

        I don’t get this part. Hadn’t she already been out on that date with Justin where she tried on five or so different dresses? Didn’t she also dress and drive to a business meeting with the Elle guy before getting that assignment call? (And I thought she had already rented a car before that meeting too but guess not?) Seems like such a tangle of lies and half-truths no matter which way you look at it.
        It was interesting on the recap when JABa was trying to get Little Julia to reframe the crying and LJ says something along the lines of: “Well, at first I thought you should be really happy and excited about getting all these great opportunities …” and then she tries to circle around and get on board with JABa’s version. Oh dear.

    • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

      Very well said.

      “and her lazy raft is being exposed”

      I love that the word “ass” got eaten by internet gods here. “Lazy raft” sounds like it could become a thing around here, if it’s Greg’s will.

    • juliajane says:

      “My favorite of the bs excuse is “sans car”. Bitch has never take public transportation in her life.”

      That was hilarious and reminded me when Mary cried because she couldn’t afford to buy a luxury car (she ended up leasing one to save face). She is such an incredibly lazy charlatan.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Couldn’t find a dress? So that’s why the wide leg bidness lady pants made an appearance.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      plus it’s complete bullshit that her editor called at 5 pm and wanted a column THAT WOULDN’T RUN FOR 8 MONTHS by 11 pm that very night. If she were working for a high-powered, content-intensive blog that might happen, but no way that was actually happening in her situation. Simply does not compute.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        awww, poor misunderstood Donks claims Keith actually did ask her to cover “an event” that very night. And if THAT is true (who the hell knows, as usual), here’s what the grown-up journalists do: put on any old dress call a cab that’s not in rags, brush your hair, apply gloss, go to event, cab it home, write post, file by 11 p.m. It ain’t rocket science, it’s just business.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        awww, poor misunderstood Donks claims Keith actually did ask her to cover “an event” that very night. And if THAT is true (who the hell knows, as usual), here’s what the grown-up journalists do: put on any old dress that’s not in rags, brush your hair, apply gloss, go to event, cab it home, write post, file by 11 p.m. It ain’t rocket science, it’s just business.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        The other thing is that 1,000 words in 6 hours is so normal in journalism, even if that were real, that she looked like a complete moran. 1,000 words about your philosophy of dating or whatever? Bang that fucker out in an hour or two.

    • Pink Palatian says:

      Yep. It’s NOTHING for someone who is supposedly a professional writer and “expert” on a topic. Sheesh. She makes it sound like writing a 1,000 dating column is the equivalent of a dissertation. Which for her, I guess it is.

  13. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    OT, but did anyone see the article on Gawker commenters in today’s Observer?

    Note to Prick Denton: this is what’s called locking the barn after the horse ran away, found some terrorist horses, came back with them en masse, blew up the barn, watched it burn, sowed the ashes with salt and took a steaming piss on the fire truck.

    • cola champagne says:

      I used to comment on Gawker, but I got so tired of the knee-jerk replies and picking apart of the most innocuous of comments, so I really couldn’t give a damn about an article about those savages. The best commenters are worse than the worse commenters here. They make me stabby, and hardly anything on the internet annoys me more than that site.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      What a horrifying herd of giant, brutal, stupid babies the whole Gawker commentariat has become.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I checked in for the first time this year when I saw that Nora Ephron was reported dead and could not believe the shitshow the comments have become.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        And it’s what Denton wanted, yes? His love/hate relationship (his words) for commenters is legendary, when in truth he simply loathes them. I’ll never understand his thinking, as the commenters provide 90% of the content, particularly on the flagship site. When the commenters were great, as they were when Choire was at the helm, the entire atmosphere was elevated.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          The writing done on Gawker BWEWF was some of the best ad-lib comedy/journalism/dialogue of its time, period. Denton pissed it away because it didn’t pay back profits he could see at the end of the business day. Way to go, bobblehead.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          He loves to hate the commenters, that’s what kind of a love/hate relationship he has. I miss the old Rhymes With Story days.

      • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

        I simply do no not get how to mine through their new comment system. It’s like they actively don’t want you to read comments.

        • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

          Which is odd because when I read their daily, the comments are what kept me there. The writing now is atrocious. Maybe I am old, but my immediate reaction to most of their posts that I read now are, “Get off my lawn, you god damn know-it-all hippie!”

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I agree. The old system was fine. This present system is like looking for a dogshit in a mountain of catshit.

        • JFA says:

          I was a super active commenter around 2007/2008…and almost never go back but i too cannot even figure out how to read all o the comments now!!

        • Casa Del Sweden Is A City, Whatever, It's Miss Cast says:

          Yea, what is up with the comment format?
          Don’t they know that horizontal alignment is the kiss of death?

  14. D0nkey found time before the big meeting w/ Keith to go grift a convertible sports car from Midbray Car Rental (it simply would not do for her to call Flusher Price afterwards to come back & fetch her raftass), & yet, Pearipathetic D0nkey (the ‘journalist’ who can write from anywhere in the world), couldn’t meet a work assignment deadline for a subject in which she professes to excel, because why? All she needed was her laptop, & everyone knows that she keeps her google alerter more readily accessible than she does a clean change of clothes.

    About those HIGHLY intrusive cameras: D0nkey’s brain needs to make the great leap & realize that her begging, badgering & beating on of men to kiss her is the equivalent of HIGHLY intrusive cameras <=== these are things that normal people do NOT want in their face.

    What may be the most interesting to watch while all of this unfolds is Flusher Price's reaction to D0nkey's reactions … will she keep having her back, or will she become whore-ified at how easily D0nkey flips the delusional ragebeast switch & spins her lies?

  15. Who do you think you are? says:

    For someone who has made over 1000 tv appearances (for which I doubt she did any preparation) and who fucking LOVES having a camera pointed at her, this is the biggest load of horse shit (sorry, donkey shit).

    Also, this is the first day of filming – you’d think she’d be excited. A normal person would step it up and hustle and try to impress, while Julia caves. This says a lot about Julia.

    Cut the excuses, Julia, nobody’s buying it.

  16. misslinda says:

    Heh. That was me. Funny thing is, she got all defensive about the crying and the Elle meltdown (which I didn’t even mention in the recap), but seemed to have no problem with the rest of it, which I thought was much more personal and cutting.

    http://wordsmoker.com/blog/2012/06/26/miss-advised-yes-you-really-are-that-repulsive/

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      I’m so glad you pointed out the single most germane element of the breakdown: the pitches (such as they were) pertained only to Julia Allison doing more thinking and talking about Julia Allison, which is all she ever does or ever has done and ever will do. She wasn’t exactly being asked to STRETCH.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      I’m starting to like wordsmoker.

      • JFA says:

        Ws is awesome come hang out more!!

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          oh are you there? I will try. Am shy.

          • JFA says:

            I WILL DRAG YOUR ASS!

            I am there under a different name. I feel like that site should get more eyeballs…

          • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

            She IS shy…. I’ve been trying to lure her to my other playground for quite a while. :p

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            i just feel like, what if they don’t UNDERSTAND me….

            it’s odd, OT, that my favorite place on the internet is a snark site about someone who would otherwise never be on my radar at all.

          • bitchface says:

            buy her 5 Betsey Johnson dresses and maybe….

      • misslinda says:

        What’s there not to like? It’s a free-for-all of the best and brightest from Gawker’s Good Olde Days combined with some truly interesting newcomers. Don’t be shy, everyone is welcome.

  17. The_Manta says:

    Uh… isn’t the meltdown completely fake considering that they filmed this months ago and her first article only went live last week?

    There was no deadline except the one concocted for TV Drama(c).

    • The Final Rose says:

      She’s claiming that there was a shorter, same-day deadline that Bravo cut out of both the phone conversation with Keith and her subsequent breakdown in front of Stone-Faced TJ and the cameras.

      In totally unrelated news, Liar Donkey lies.

    • Donkeycam now! says:

      Agreed.

      The meltdown was totally 100% unadulterated trademark Donkey fakery.

      My theory is that she was trying to emulate Paula Abdul but, in any case, it was fake fake fakery fake.

  18. Kafkaesque says:

    Not to interrupt the donkey love, but apparently Miss Advised is bringing out all the psychos for this show because the SF blonde “Ruby” is, in fact, Ruby Rippey-Tourke, best known as the wife of the campaign manager for SF’s major (now CA Lt. Gov.) Gavin Newsom.

    Mr. Newsom paid his longtime campaign manager back by sleeping with his wife (the lovely Ms. Rippey-Tourke). But it was OK, you see, because she showed up dead drunk and crying on his doorstep, and what was he supposed to do? (And in case you were wondering: no, it is not rape when you sleep with someone incapacitated from alcohol…if you’re wealthy and powerful and good looking).

    http://blog.sfgate.com/cityinsider/2012/06/26/shes-back-ruby-rippey-tourk-on-new-bravo-reality-tv-show/

    Good job, Bravo.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      Ruby Rippey-Tourke??? RollsRoyceRevenge, are you making up names again?

      • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

        I don’t know why this made me think that I miss Mandolph and her watery highball. I think it was Ruby’s masculine features.

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          Mandolph was comedy gold. Sigh. I need some more Nantucket sand in my jitney please.

          • juliaspublicist's rococo pile of polyester juliaspublicist says:

            I always forget what her blog is called so I don’t visit, which is a good thing because I can pour over that thing for hours.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            i don’t remember either. I prefer it pre-parsed, like in the good old GOMI days.

          • Peltergeist says:

            Me too. She really toned it down and cut at least half of the crap once she joined the real world and got a job. I’ve heard that she exaggerates everything on her blog to create a “persona” and is a total dullard in person, so maybe someone called her out. Summer isn’t so romantic when you’re stuck under the flourescent lights just like every other day of your life, Mandolph!

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            You wish is my command, my dear Stalker:

            This is from Mandolph’s blerg:

            “Whether you’re talking about baseball or Don Henley stalking an empty beach, there’s something sort of mythic/romantic about the boys of summer, but where have all the men gone (and, for that matter, the cowboys)? I used to swoon for those beer-swilling, skateboarding, surf-riding dudes, the great American good ol’ boys, the mischief-makers and heart-breakers who sneak booze at the beach and sand in the sheets, and I used to have one and then wonder where he went and miss him, blah blah, but there were never any men involved—summer is a season for the still-rambunctious. (This may be true for the ladies too, but we’ll have to ask LFO.)”

            Ah, yes, the Boys of Summer: one long string of immature assholes. Where are all the Men of Summer? A little to the left, honey, already married.

            Henley’s song is about a man apologizing to his girlfriend for having a homosexual fling, BTW.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            Oh RRR you are almost as wonderful as that one maid we used to have that would bring me a lysol douche after I had too many gimlets and ended up in Roger’s Model-T after the cotillion at the country club (the good one, not the one that lets in just anyone).

            Did Mandolph ring me? I can’t really tell what she’s saying but I think so. Is this verbatim or did you make it up? It hits all the notes: confusing, name-dropping, strange shifts of tone (cowboys =/= skateboarders).

            Oh yeah. I feel it.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            It’s like an impromptu choreographed thang, amiright?

      • Kafkaesque says:

        You think that’s a good name, say hello to Newsom’s 20 year old ex-girlfriend: Brittanie Mountz.

        http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/matier-ross/article/Has-the-mayor-s-new-girlfriend-who-is-only-20-2468236.php

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Here’s Emily on same:

      “Ah, my friend Ruby. I love her; she has no filter and says whatever she’s feeling whenever she feels it. Ruby and I have been best friends for a long time. We did meet because we were with the same guy, awkward, sure, but for some reason it wasn’t for us. We became fast friends.”

      “With the same guy?” Bitch, she was banging a married man who was also her employer. “For some reason it wasn’t for us?” What wasn’t, you crazy cunt? Adulterous threesomes?

      Hi, I’m RollsRoyceRevenge. I met my pal Devorah Rose when we were both fleeing lava flow in O’ahu. For some reason it wasn’t for us. We became fast friends, although I slip powerful laxatives into her food from time to time.

      What? Is wrong with these bitches?

      • Donkeycam now! says:

        That’s why I kinda like Emily: she is the only one in that shitshow that has some kind “realness” to her.

        She was tri-banging a public married man, the mayor of SF to boot, and she doesn’t give a shit about the threesomes or the man.

        She got one good friend out of the experience, and she’ll tell you about it.

        Considering what most people get out of threesomes are broken relationships or crabs, I think she did pretty well.

        Amy reminds me of my sister, repressed and depressed, kind-hearted and wanting badly to be happy, but having no idea on how to get there.

        And Donks…. do I need to tell you about Donks? Of course not.

      • Seriously, Bravo says:

        I live in SF, and as I remember the whole showcase showdown, Gavin was not married at the time. Well, he was separated, working on getting divorced. Ruby was married to Gavin’s campaign manager and good friend, Alex Tourke, and also worked for Gavin herself. I don’t believe there was any adulterous threesome going on. Just good old fashioned, power-fueled fuckery and sleeping around that ended with everyone committing to go to rehab.

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      Hmmm… interesting. In the last episode Emily said that she and Ruby meet when they were both sleeping with the same guy… the mayor. Was this while Ruby was married to the mayor’s campaign manager?

      Hey Bravo!! That mess is far more interesting than watching A Donkey toss herself at every man who crosses her path.

  19. Sincerely Curious says:

    Looks like the ratings are out for the most recent show (sorry if someone already posted this…)

    UPDATE 8.50pm 26-Jun-12 Miss Advised ratings are in and they are both good and bad. The overall audience totals grew against last week’s premiere; gaining 7.2% or 41,000 viewers, but worryingly the 18-49 demo dropped from 0.30 to 0.20. It was two weeks of scoring 0.20 that caused Bravo to pull Love Broker from its March schedules, as Bravo could simply run another Real Housewives repeat and more or less be guaranteed to score a 0.40 demo figure and thus earn more advertising dollars in that hour.

    • The Normal Healthy Julia says:

      How is that possible? Miss Advised is only watched by teenagers and the over 50 set?

  20. Little Birdie says:

    TweetTweet! Mommy and Daddy, you have an email in your inbox. Our Donkey will never the learn.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I don’t even know what the intel is but I love you already.

  21. Peltergeist says:

    Interesting that she’s choosing to play the victim card already. She’s going to be very surprised when it expires later on in the show. (Call me crazy, but I’m assuming her behavior will just keep getting worse.)

    I have to say I was shocked that she shot herself in the foot immediately with her “writing career.” I was always under the impression that she thought she was gaming the system and was untouchable, but that she knew she was a bad worker and unworthy of everything she’d gotten. Fake crying on TV when you’re “stressed out” about the possibility of having to write a draft about yourself and only yourself really doesn’t make you look capable, Julesie. For a compulsive liar, a personal column should be a breeze.

  22. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Donkey, you can’t brag that you have the ability to fake cry at the drop of a hat and then when you fake cry at the drop of a hat – BE SHOCKED THAT YOU GET CALLED OUT FOR FAKE CRYING!!!!

    Also, get your lies straight, you say you got the call at 5:00pm. WRONG. In November at 5:00pm, the sun is already down. In that scene, it’s daylight.

    Your miserable life is of your own making, my dear. Hope that helps!

  23. ANON says:

    Is it just me or is she the most awkward dater out there.. she is so desperate, she doesnt let the man speak, she interviews him all while she says “im pretty, im dateable, yet her room is PINK and she has a princess parking here sign on the wall, NO MAN and i mean NO MAN is going to want to deal w that. how is a woman like this getting PAID to give dating and love advice!!!!??? if thats the case someone call me a call i know how to write, im not full of myself and i dont have a check list, i know how to date and am dateable, i dont have a pink room AND im not AJ.. check my fb http://www.facebook.com/missFERRIS

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      My man thought she was semi-cute and kind of endearingly dorky until we sat down and watched all three back to back. And now he says she is a dangerously insane and terrifying fraud. His words.

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