UPDATED: Codename Donkey: Miss Advised ‘Sneak Peeks’

Despite how I feel about the exploitation of someone who is obviously mentally ill, one thing remains clear: Julia Allison signed up for this shit, and has no reason to complain about her portrayal. It’s brutal, yes. But what we see on-screen are her genuine reactions to contrived situations and, surprise, surprise! She’s a lazy, entitled whackaloon. And according to a few tipsters — well, maybe not a few, because scores of people hate this woman — Julia Allison received plenty of warnings that she shouldn’t have participated in this mess.

According to one tipster, her family was vocally against the idea. As you can see here.

My brother’s two sentence review of last night’s @Bravotv #MissAdvised episode: http://lockerz.com/s/220227158

@JuliaAllison @Bravotv we need more banter between you are your brother. Hilarious.

@Christopurr @Bravotv – Right?? Britt is hysterical. I wish he were on the show. 🙁 But he’s in Boston!

Oh, that’s why we won’t be seeing Britton and Allie on this mess. Because he lives in Boston! Because filming characters who are in a completely different city is difficult for a show that features three main characters located in three different cities. I’m glad we cleared that up!

What’s that? We haven’t? Oh, yeah, I completely forgot. An exasperated birdie who was so over all the bitch please eye-rolling told me that poor Britton Baugher is supremely embarrassed by her sister’s “career,” and he is pissed that she found an even larger platform to embarrass her family. And believe me, the Baughers are embarrassed. I mean you would be too if you were trying to build a respected career in academia while your sister was flouncing around on national television like a developmentally stunted whackaloon. So, yeah, poor, poor Britt adamantly refused to sign a release. And, instead of understanding what an ill-advised move Miss Advised was, Donkey went on a brayge tantrum because her brother is not at all impressed with her “career.”

An East Coast tipster told me that Britt’s little dear of a wife, Allie, also refused to sign a release. Pretty much everyone was concerned about the show’s impact on their actual careers. Allie, for instance, made the wise and correct decision not to participate because she is a teacher.  Apparently she thought that she shouldn’t appear on a show that was unsuitable for her school-age children. Whodathunk? The nerve of that woman!

Meanwhile, I haven’t had a chance to watch all of that Spreecast, but something about mentioning what an super awesome litigator Pettigrew is? Well. . .

@AmyLaurentMatch @sexwithemily @juliaallison anybody not willing to be on camera?Should that be determining factor of dateability for you 3?

@GregOstravich – MANY people in my life couldn’t be on camera (contracts with other networks, finance jobs, etc.) Plus the legal is onerous.

@JuliaAllison Regarding onerous legal was issue competition only with other media? nda? combination? other?

@GregOstravich – Insane contracts that the entertainment industry uses as “standard.” My lawyer dad wasn’t thrilled, we’ll put it that way.

“Wasn’t thrilled” is putting it lightly. Despite his and Robin’s participation in the first episode, Peter Pettigrew, Esq. was staunchly against Julia’s participation on Miss Advised because of the airtight contract.   Something tells me someone is completely aware that their daughter is a gigantic mentalcase and didn’t want to deal with her crying to daddy that the teevee people are meanies. So, as someone close to the family told me, daddy said that if she inked her hoof on the dotted line, she was on her own, and, if lawyers were inevitable, a lolsuit against Bravo, Blondie Girl would not be brought on by him. Hmm. . . maybe someone learned their lesson from last time.

So who will we see eventually on this show? Not Greasy, that’s for certain. Like Britt and Allie, he is also concerned about the show’s impact on his futre career. He told donkey that there was no way in hell he was going to participate in her “shitshow” (his word, not mine).

So what else is going on behind the scenes? A whole lot of freaking out, is what I’m hearing from a few people. I wasn’t alone in thinking her portrayal in the second episode of Miss Advised was brutal. Even people at Bravo thought so. If you watch any of their other awful reality shows, you know that if they think that the editing is brutal, then it’s really, really bad. But their thinking, which I agree with, is that she signed up for this mess. Julia was fully aware that the cameras were on at all times, and yet she still chose to act like the psychotic hosebeast that she is. Someone else told me that if I thought the second episode was bad, then I have seen nothing yet in regards to her psychosis. (I may have to start drinking again.)

And what does Julia think about all this? She is “genuinely shocked” by her portrayal on Miss Advised, because during filming and post-production, she kept blabbering on about how the producers where her “friends” and that she “trusted them with her reputation.” To which I ask? HAS SHE NEVER SEEN A REALITY TELEVISION SHOW BEFORE? Julia is acting like the show is a HUGE betrayal, which is confusing producers, because no one ever promised her that she would be portrayed positively, nor did anyone give her the impression that she be edited to be American’s adorable bumblefart, or whatever she had in mind. But, donkey being donkey, thought flashing her horsey teeth and pulling out the charm would be enough for producers to fall in love with her. Oops?

Finally, here is a lovely little item that was dropped in my inbox that is unrelated to the show. You know how Julia keeps heehawing about her shining 10-year journalism career? Well, one major NY media type uses Julia Allison as an example of a cautionary fail of sorts. . .

Among Julia’s biggest mistakes is her failure to understand the role the respect of one’s peers plays in a writer’s life.  She never had the discipline or ethics to be a journalist, but she could have made it as a fluffy, entertaining columnist if she hadn’t consistently thumbed her nose at people who worked their way up through the ranks.

I ask my interns to read the work-related parts of the Mediabistro article and then come back to me and explain why Julia ended up where she did and what she could have done differently.  I’ve been doing this for years.

Cut! Don’t use any of that! It’s simply too embarrassing.

UPDATE: As we say here: Lather, rinse, repeat. From the comments:

Here’s another tip. I was just talking to my friend who is an editor of a big magazine for which Julia did some tiny 200-word freelance thing years and years ago (when my friend was not yet affiliated with the mag). Apparently, Donks showed up at a shmancy new restaurant that had recently been reviewed favorably by the magazine, with an entourage of 10 people, demanding that their visit be comped because she was a “contributing writer” for said magazine. Same ol’ Washington Post shit, 10 years later. The restaurant turned her down and called the editor of the magazine instead, asking wtf. My editor friend was mortified and said that they would never do such a thing, and that if anyone does that again they should call her.

It’s just almost completely unbelievable. Sure, she did that when she was in her early 20s, just starting out and too young to know better. But now? With her reputation? As a 30-something who has been a working “journalist” for ten years? What does she not get about bridge burning? My editor friend is a pretty powerful character in the media world, which is an incredibly small business, and now JABA is on her shitlist for ever. Why does Donkey continue to behave this way? To burn bridges? It truly boggles the mind.

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338 Responses to UPDATED: Codename Donkey: Miss Advised ‘Sneak Peeks’

  1. stalker is the new fat says:

    I love tipsters. Thank you, tipsters!

  2. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:




    Thanks for the intel… your posts really are making my days(s).

  3. Second Fridge says:

    It gets worse? Really? How is that possible?

    Gotta say…she has been such a horrible person to so many people…seeing her get humiliated in front of a national audience for two straight months is delicious.

    Next up: she meets a religious guy named Greg and converts?

    • Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

      Alright, I pulled a Ferris Bueller on the day Greg joined the cat basement. Can someone please give me the 411 on this ice cream cone of a man? Slurp!

      • The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

        one of the commenters meant to type “good god” but her smartphone auto-corrected it to “good greg”. she apologized but it was so unintentionally funny the name stuck.

      • Greg says:

        You rang?

        (did I do that right?)

  4. Andrea says:

    Yes. I’ve often thought that she could have had a good career in fluff pieces but that she sabotaged herself.

    • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

      her best and only shot would have been to do the conservative pundit with a sexy edge thing (sort of megan mccain like), b/c she had the onscreen time and reputation and could have made herself into a fox talking head, book deals, etc… but that would have required her to bust her ass as she would have been one of the first in the space.
      i can’t believe this gets worse. this is going to lead to such anger for her and she’ll be lashing out all over the fucking place. it likely still won’t be enough to make her look at herself, so she’ll be stuck in the mode of “why can’t they see how lovable i am” “if only they’d portrayed the real me, instead of editing me bad, the people would have loved me…” etc…

      • They Call Me Jack says:

        Very astute! The Fox route would have been the right move–Julia was still eye candy and her lack of cultural awareness & political engagement wouldn’t have mattered at Ailes Central–but she has NO work ethic, no sense of responsibility, no genuine interest in anything outside of self-promotion, and refuses to seriously address her many emotional problems. Yes, when the total breakdown occurs, and it will, it’ll be epic because she’ll realize she’s the only one to blame for her sorry state of existence.

        • AFGHANI says:

          Problem is the “sexy conservative pundit with an edge” thing is pretty saturated over at FNC. And people like Andrea Tantaros and Kim Guilfoyle are about a million times more watchable than Julia.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        She got herself billed as a “democratic strategist” on FNC, so she would have had to change stripes to pull that off.

  5. Worrisome Pelts says:

    Praise Greg! I look forward to the manic tweeting that will follow this info dump.

    Also? I wouldn’t want to be Greasy when she calls to ask him about his “shitshow” comment. You and your girlfriend need to change your email addresses and phone numbers, Taytay NoTip.

  6. iblow4shoes says:

    “and that she “trusted them with her reputation.”

    Oh my Greg this is funny. What reputation is she talking about? Ha ha ha.

    • Donkeycam now! says:

      It must be the reputation of being a slutty backstabbing famewhore.

    • brayniac says:

      friends, i’ve been out of the loop, running desk errands abroad for my work and I have no idea where this “greg” thing came from. Prof. Camping? Anyone? Some background?


  7. the original bunny says:

    Here’s another tip. I was just talking to my friend who is an editor of a big magazine for which Julia did some tiny 200-word freelance thing years and years ago (when my friend was not yet affiliated with the mag). Apparently, Donks showed up at a shmancy new restaurant that had recently been reviewed favorably by the magazine, with an entourage of 10 people, demanding that their visit be comped because she was a “contributing writer” for said magazine. Same ol’ Washington Post shit, 10 years later. The restaurant turned her down and called the editor of the magazine instead, asking wtf. My editor friend was mortified and said that they would never do such a thing, and that if anyone does that again they should call her.

    It’s just almost completely unbelievable. Sure, she did that when she was in her early 20s, just starting out and too young to know better. But now? With her reputation? As a 30-something who has been a working “journalist” for ten years? What does she not get about bridge burning? My editor friend is a pretty powerful character in the media world, which is an incredibly small business, and now JABA is on her shitlist for ever. Why does Donkey continue to behave this way? To burn bridges? It truly boggles the mind.

    • The Final Rose says:

      And just like that, any residual sympathy from Monday night’s skewering is gone. Wow.

      I know no one pays attention but us, but I really wish one of these publications/former employers would call her shit out.

    • Peltergeist says:

      This is… crazy. I would honestly love to hear the cringeworthy conversations she has where she demands free stuff, because there is just NO tactful way to do that. I know she has no shame, but surely even she would realize she’s embarrassing herself in front of her friends. Did the editor who received the phone call ever tell her off? I sincerely hope so.

    • Can't Stop Delurking says:

      I heard the same story from someone at a publisher. Her behavior led to the chef or manager calling the restaurant critic, then the critic calling the managing editor…

      Suddenly all of her columns went into the queue and we’re still waiting.

    • The reason she continues to act that way is that even though it doesn’t always work out, sometimes it does — and that’s good enough. For every few times that she gets “called” on it (like your story about the dinner), there are times when those antics of hers work just fine in getting things. There are so many examples of this — her various “writing” jobs, the way she behaves at fashion week. And for everybody who has a terrible story about how they’d keep her out of something, there is another person who probably finds it easier (or just doesn’t know better) to let her have what she wants. Its also applies to her Tweeting to get free stuff and comps, despite never following through with the promotion. Everybody keeps asking “Why does she keep doing this?” or “Why do people keep giving her things?”, but she’ll keep doing it as long as it sometimes works. Of course some of the time it won’t (because people know better or have heard otherwise) but as long as there are some times that she gets what she wants, she’ll keep doing it and just ignoring the times it doesn’t.

      • LickedRandisCake says:

        The Grifter’s Motto…..you only gotta find one sucker…and the world is full of suckers.

      • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

        True. Also, many of us including me tend to forget that she has no shame. She’s very much used to having unbelievably cringeworthy conversations. They don’t bother her like they would a normal person. It’s not a question of a free dinner being “worth” a painfully embarrassing situation because for her, it’s not embarrassing at all.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          THIS. If you remember this, you get everything about her. She does not have the same human emotions as a normal person.

      • The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

        that’s exactly the reason why toddlers throw tantrums, besides normal frustration – because they’re counting on mom and dad to occasionally give in. julia has the emotional intelligence of a 2-year-old.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        @The Pancake House – Perfection

    • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

      omg i need a post coital smoke…

    • Rosalie says:

      There are 10 people who want to be seen in public with her?

  8. Someone’s suggestion in an earlier thread that possibly Flusher Price is being paid by Bravo to participate in the squeecast(s? let’s hope there will be many more!) isn’t sounding so far-fetched now … she’s thus far been an adequate D0nkey handler, & she’s obviously cheaper & less time-consuming as potential soother of ruffled horse d0nkey feathers than litigating Bravo Meanies vs. D0nkey-is-Butt-Hurt would be …

    After this fiasco of Mess Despised has run its course, D0nkey is going to find lots of barn doors slammed shut in her busted face & even reality tv villain probably won’t be a viable option for her no-talent ass, not if she brays foul / fowl / faoul the whole time.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      It’s kind of gross, because, yes, Flusher has to be paid for her participation. I wonder if she was coached on how to nudge the donkey or how to react to emphasize the lunacy?

      • Random Snowflake says:

        That would be epic if it turned out little Julia was a plant to stir the pot the whole time. She did come up with the spin-the-bottle game, so this is plausible. 🙂

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I don’t buy it – her Spreecast got 2500 followers, mostly us… that does nothing to bump up Bravo’s numbers.

      I think Toilet is, in a sense, doing the same thing Donkey is – rewriting her involvement with the show and clarifying that even though she lives with a Donkey, she will never a Donkey.

      Toilet’s axe to grind? – Probably all the promises that a Donkey made about how this show was going to make Toilet’s OMGalbum (which was supposed to come out this month and so far has not) sales go through the roof.

      Also, if my stage name was Julia Price and now I had to be called JP on a national show… I mean, come on – Toilet is only doing this for her “career” what a back fire.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Yeah, I thought about her branding. I am sure JA knew that Bravo was gonna give TJ a nickname that was unrelated to how she markets herself as a songstress. I bet TJ is pissed.

      • But Malf, my point wasn’t about boosting Bravo’s numbers … it was about a hired bray-bee sitter to placate D0nkey’s after-show tantrums & melt-downs so that she’d eventually go to sleep instead of staying up ’til the crack of dawn(key) when she could solicit a lolyer to go after those meanies at Bravo.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          Sorry, got it.

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          She is probably just keeping a stiff upper lip, getting whatever she can out of it, not so secretly hates the donkey, tolerates her like you do a petulant child, and will move on.

      • AFGHANI says:

        It’s weird that she’s being called JP, because Julia Price isn’t even her full name… like Donkey, she has been using her middle name as her last name. Her real name is Ilowiecki so she could always go back to that if she ruins Julia Price.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          I don’t think she will ruin her name, but she won’t get to capitalize on her Bravo “fame” as anyone who googles “JP” is not going to find Julia Price musician so what’s the point, exactly?

        • donniedriveby says:

          “…that was ‘Rolling in the Deep’ by Adele. Up next is the latest hit from Julia Ilowiecki to roll us into 45 minutes of commercial free music …”

          Nah… that’s not an option.

  9. darling dearest says:

    I need to buy stock in the ointment because I have a feeling we will be needing cratefulls

  10. Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

    Wow. So after this, she is really done. Like, really, really done. No more failing upward.

    Also, what kind of stupid is she? If you look at any casting call flyer, the very first thing it says is, “How do you feel about being portrayed less than positively?”

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      She is done. No TV show will ever, ever, ever touch her. They will look at Bravo’s non-existent ratings and she will be deemed poison.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I’ve been thinking that she’ll be a long time waiting for that call from “Dancing with the Stars,” and that the red-carpet Hollywood invites are not exactly flowing. But she’s rested up just in case.

      • Joardache & the Pelts says:

        Julia is desperate enough to make up an addiction and go on dr. Drew. Actually, he’s been really into the NPD the last couple of years (I think he has it).

        • They Call Me Jack says:

          I’ve often thought if Donkey got on Dr. Drew’s or John Waters’s radar, they’d be fascinated, humiliating her for sport but in the end making her a “star,” at least in her warped little mind.

        • AFGHANI says:

          I’m interested in why you say Dr Drew might be a narcissist? I haven’t seen a lot of his programs, but from what I’ve seen he seems very insightful, thoughtful, and non-NPD-like.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            He’s constantly armchair diagnosing people he’s never met, then talking about those diagnoses as if they had the same validity as a diagnosis he made of an actual client. That’s at best a jerk move, at worst narcissistic.

          • donniedriveby says:

            The only person Dr. Drew helps, is himself. He’s an exploitative douchebag who uses addicts the same way Julia uses ex-boyfriends.

        • They Call Me Jack says:

          The Opportunist Pinksy didn’t do much research on our donkey: Julia Allison is young, attractive, and ambitious. She’s a graduate of Georgetown University. No doubt she could have been successful in any number of ventures.”

          Marry me, Brayella! Wait, I’m already engaged and throwing myself at JP!

  11. JFA says:

    Of course Dadsers Esq. washes his hands of this, legally. He was an idiot to even BE on the show, but he always struck me as a bit of a famewhore himself. She will have zero case against ANYONE, for ANYTHING, EVER, related to this show, duh. I’d be surprised if SHE doesn’t get sued in some capacity for not shutting the fuck up about her portrayal etc. Also imagine how long she had to bitch and moan at Dadsers Esq. to get him to write a ceast and desist for this site. YEARS i’m sure. He finally threw her a bone and he’s honestly probably relieved that he never has to revisit that shit again – hahaha good luck going after snark sites after this shit, you stupid bitch.

    Also yes yes I’m sure your friends said no to appearing because the contract was too “oneorous.” You keep on believing that asshole. Speaking of which where’s her shit picker upper Lasagna? Even she said no? Christ.

    Britt is less “hilarious” than “openly hostile” sweetie. I CAN”T ANYMORE.

    • JFA says:

      I also love how her second tweeted response does not even begin to answer his question. “INSANE CONTRACTS ONEROUS CASE DISMISSED!!!” Just shut up.

    • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

      How can she not even pick up social cues from her own brother? That remark was clearly scathing. If my brother sent me that kind of response, I think I’d probably cry, not post that shit to the internet as if it’s twee and hilarious.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      We have heard from family friends that he’s insanely star-fucker-ish and that’s where she gets it from. He gets a boner re: famous people. Which is why the Pancakes implosion must have been a very bitter pill for Dadsers.

      • Cut. Don't use that. says:

        He fucking sucks.

        • Sake Bombardier says:

          Furthermore, when Julia played his voicemail during the spreecast he sounded like Christian Slater at his creepiest. Also, he bought his daughter Victoria’s Secret lingerie. Ew doesn’t even cover it.

      • JFA says:

        I sniffed that on him. Typical blowhard senior partner type attorney who thinks he is a rock star. Frog face.

      • They Call Me Jack says:

        Oh, that explains … never mind! I’m a bigger tease than JP!

      • AFGHANI says:

        Peter Baugher is a moronic loser. He is the long time favor-seeker of the fuck-faced hypocritical sell-out known as Mark Kirk. You know, the guy who lied about his military service and campaigned as if he supported ending DADT, but then would not support ending DADT when he got to the Senate. Which is hypocritical because he’s gay. Anyway, this is the type of pathetic hypocrite that Peter Baugher supports because Peter Baugher is a privileged fuck who does not care if this country makes a commitment to equality/civil rights, as long as he can be in the periphery of Kirk. And let’s be real, there’s a more than 80%+ chance that Kirk is going to be a 1-term dud of a Senator anyway.

  12. RollsRoyceRevenge says:


    Because I think we could all benefit by some real estate porn.

  13. Peltergeist says:

    You all realize this means she’s never going to go away, right? She’ll make it her mission to take on Bravo for “misrepresenting” her, howling to every cheap tabloid and website out there. Then she’ll get approached by those reality roundup shows (like Tough Love or Celeb Rehab or whatever) on the grounds that she wants to redeem herself to the public and has “changed so much.” Other producers are going to see an untapped goldmine of lunacy in her.

    • JFA says:

      This might be true if anyone watched the show and cared. But almost no one does. I don’t think she will go away either, however. She always manages to exceed everyone’s lowest expectations. She’s a cockroach. She’ll find some way to remain in the z-list spotlight.

      • They Call Me Jack says:

        NO ONE is watching this snoozer! I talked three friends in three separate states into tuning in for the premiere and I got an earful re: their boredom. “How can you even pay attention to that Allison d-bag?! She’s about as intelligent and interesting as cooked cabbage.”

        Nobody cares but us.

        • AFGHANI says:

          This. My firm has ~100 employees, all but a few between 25-45 (so target demo for this shitshow) and trash TV is a typical discussion around the office but not a single person has even mentioned this show in the 2+ weeks it has been on.

        • Chafing Thighs says:

          Hey! That’s an insult to cooked cabbage! Have you ever actually eaten Ukrainian cabbage rolls? With sour cream? Or how about kimchi stew? That stuff is all kinds of wonderful. JA wishes she was as super-awesome-flavourlicious as cooked cabbage.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Ditto. Articles about her get 0 comments. America does not care.

      Someone compared her to Danielle Staub – Donkey WISHES she was Danielle Staub – at least the woman elicits a reaction. The stupidest move Donkey ever made was not revealing her most cunty self. It’s all out there (or here) anyway. That might have made her a “star” in some way.

      • cola champagne says:

        The dumbest thing she did was never back up a product – besides herself.

      • Peltergeist says:

        See, I would compare her to those Rock of Love chicks or You’re Cut Off or Charm School contestants. Nobody actually cares about them or knows who they are and they don’t garner big ratings, but yet these girls do the circuit of weird, unwatchable shows that keep getting made because they refuse to go away.

        • cola champagne says:

          Did anyone else see Megan Wants a Millionaire? Because that show was so funny, and then that idiot who was on her show had to go and murder someone…

          • One Fat Melman says:

            Yes!! I first saw her in Beauty and the Geek back in ’05. She was so dumb, and yet somehow fascinating.

  14. flatface says:

    “… if she hadn’t consistently thumbed her nose at people who worked their way up through the ranks….”

    That in a nutshell.
    That is exactly what turned me into a hater years ago when she was a gawker staple. She was a know-it-all about the internet (who turned out to know very little about th internet) and made it clear the New Rules, according to her, meant everyone could be an accomplished writer. Anyone could be a capital-w Writer. And in the beginning, when she kept getting rewarded with jobs and shit, it made me furious.

    I remember she coached people at her (mediabistro? learning annex?) thing years ago to write letters to the editors of newspaper and then feel free to claim that publication as a writing credit. And that huffpo would print anything, so do that and claim it as a palmere.

    She had absolute contempt for people (like Flatface!) who have bled for what we’ve accomplished in journalism.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      And don’t forget the dismissal of Tom Wolfe as only being famous because of his white suit. That drove me fucking crazy.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Speaking of Tom Wolfe: That NY Media tipster? This is what she had to say:

        “Also? I’d pay good money to see Julia in one of Tom Wolfe’s suits. Especially since Julia would buy her version two sizes too small from Strawberry and leave it untailored.”

      • AFGHANI says:

        Bonfire of the Narcissists.

    • Peltergeist says:

      People (outside of trained, paid journalists) don’t understand my hatred for HuffPo, but your example underscores it so well.

      • No, I fucking hate HuffPo too, & that stems from the first piece I ever read there (an article that was based on a hometown event I was already quite familiar with) — it was so embellished that it ceased to be even remotely factual, & the waste of my time there has not been forgotten.

        A good friend reads & comments there just because he gets riled up on how much trash-talking is done about Texas — I honestly don’t know why he bothers, cuz he’s way too smart for that shit.

        • Peltergeist says:

          Glad to hear it. (Not that they’re embellishing and annoying, but that other people see through it.) Their various stances of “We do too pay for articles…. from our staff” and “We don’t need to pay because it’s an honor to write for us” and then “Why should we fact check? It’s the writer’s responsibility to tell their version of the truth!” have all really, really confused a lot of aspiring new media platforms, PR companies/advertisers, and wannabe writers into thinking any part of this type of shitshow is okay.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            I hate them with a passion that gives me cramps.

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            The writing on HuffPo gives me rage blackouts.

            I once worked on a project which included bios for a number of semi-important people. The project manager pawned off the task of compiling the bios to her intern, who was then to pass them on to me to clean up and fit into our house style.

            As I worked my way through them, I realized the intern pulled almost all of them from HuffPo. I wanted to kill everyone involved because of having to make sense out of such utter garbage, and every “fact” I checked turned out to be completely inaccurate–wrong years, nonexistent committees, spellings mangled so badly Google was all “Did you mean… what, wtf?”

            It made me even more alarmed for the current state of our civilization.

      • melting marionette says:

        i refuse to read them, as does anyone in my office.

    • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

      Can I just ask? I spent years as a real genuine contributing writer for a couple of national daily papers (mostly one and during the last years, just that one) and at least one magazine. With real contracts and real published articles (not just the 200 word kind of nonsense, although I wrote those too) and all. During some of those times, I even had a real genuine DESK at the newspaper’s office to run errands at. Now all of that happened here, on another continent, and I know that unlike here, in America you have real capitalism and all of that, BUT: never in the land of ever would I have thought of asking for free shit of the dinner-for-ten-people proportions because of my connection to DA MEDIA. I am also pretty sure that nothing like that ever occurred to my older, respected and in some cases even OMGFAMOUS co-workers. As far as I can tell, the only way a journalist might just walk into a restaurant and get that kind of treatment around here would be if they were an influential food critic and / or more or less a personal friend of the owner, and even then I think 10 people would be really pushing it. IS the thing Donkey tried to pull possible in the US media world at all, or is she completely insane in addition to being an incredibly tacky shameless hick?

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Not at her level, no. A top food critic or an editor-in-chief of a prestige mag, sure.

        But Julie Albertson wants Anna Wintour-level perks even when she’s the merest peon.

        • pretty pink pony says:

          Actually respectable food critics stay anonymous (hence there being mug shots of them in kitchens) and pay for everything themselves — this way they won’t be swayed by nice treatment.

          I work at a newspaper and our “no swag” policy is pretty airtight.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            You’re right. I was thinking more of people like Ruth Reichl or Anthony Bourdain, and should have said “food writer” rather than critic. Thank you for clearing up my spilled stupid!

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        “is she completely insane in addition to being an incredibly tacky shameless hick?”

        Now, come on, Helena, you are not new here.

        • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

          Very good point, I don’t know what posessed me. *hangs head in shame*

      • LickedRandisCake says:

        Credible writers? Maybe not. But Z list “celebrities” trying to use their “fame” to get free shit off of starry eyed, easily impressed folk? Happens here every day, unfortunately. Welcome to capitalism!

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        I’ll try to keep this brief, as I have far too much to say about it. In threads past I have mentioned The Julia In My Life, who was Julia in many, many ways but smarter and more conniving while also being even more freakish and transparent. She also had the added benefit of cancer. CANCER, which was how I met her (she sent me a fan letter while undergoing horrific chemo), I answered it, we struck up a correspondence. She had a great deal of disposable income and an actual work ethic — she was, in fact, terribly ambitious but the world had never met her at the level of success she desired — and one of the things she did was write VERY successful travel guides for two or three American cities and a few elsewhere on the globe.

        Because of the Cancer I spent seven years being kind to her, by which I mean I humored and enabled her while thinking well of myself, like an asshole, and called it compassion. One of the things she most enjoyed with me was having me accompany her to the cities for which she wrote guides; staying in the hotels, reviewing the restaurants. ALL of it was comped, every bit, and that alone was uncomfortable for me but was never, ever enough for her. She always wanted to go to elaborate meals at restaurants that didn’t appear in the guide (because they didn’t need to be) and so her trick was to call and make a reservation under the name of the publisher. The host or hostess didn’t know the truth, and 90% of the time the server didn’t know the restaurant had nothing to gain or lose, so she would order everything on the menu and try to comp it at the time of the bill. If she succeeded, yay for TJIML. If she failed she simply put it on the company credit card and dealt with them later.

        I saw this happen a few times without understanding it, then without knowing what to do about it, but when she tried the trick with local B&Bs — gorgeous places owned by individuals who were just trying to make a living — I couldn’t stand it anymore and told the owners what she was doing. One of those men called the publisher and she reigned in her shamelessness for awhile but never really stopped. Many of the locations she tried to scam were in the worst possible position, because they were in the guide but nothing had changed since the last pub date. She wielded a fair amount of power, really, and only about half was imaginary. I think Julia is simply a lesser version of TJIML, but her methods and reasoning are similar.

        TJIML died, by the way, because they all do. I know! It seems like they must be immortal, so little fear of karma or the universe do they exhibit! But no. Goodbye, horrible person.

        • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

          Jesus, so much for keeping it brief, you lunatic Handbag.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Wow. That is an amazing story. Thank you for sharing that.

        • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

          The lesson I’m taking away from this is that you should never, ever show compassion for others. Thank you, Handbag!

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          What was it that she enjoyed of your company? Actually curious. I always assume that full-on sociopaths grift solo.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            She enjoyed my celebrity, minute as it is and was, which was her main criterion for relationships. She was an LA native (perhaps even 6th generation!) and worked in the film industry as well as her various writing projects. She knew everyone. EVERYONE was kind to her because of the cancer angle, but her need for . . . something was bottomless, and she never knew enough famous people.

            She also wanted to achieve what I had academically and professionally. That was her real secret: she wanted to be thought a substantial person, someone with gravitas. It’s absurd to think of me as a person with gravitas but there you go. God, doesn’t this sound like a description of Julia?! I can’t get over the similarities.

        • LickedRandisCake says:

          A lot of restaurants and such are complaining that regular people with no celebrity at all are threatening to write bad Yelp or Trip Adviser reviews if they don’t get comped. It’s really disgusting.

        • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

          OMG that’s insane. You rock for telling the owners what she was up to, Handbag. Thanks for your response, everyone. Foof for thought for sure.

          I LITERALLY cringe when I imagine telling the server that I have no intention to pay for the food I just ate. If, after dinner, I had to choose between doing that and paying twice the price, I’d most definitely choose the latter. I’m not even saying this to make myself look “so nice,” this is something I’m really not capable of handling.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            It was unbearable. I know I did violence to myself by sitting silent during many occasions I should not have. I actually ended things prior to her final illness, as difficult as that was, because my dear husband — who is a better person than I in ten thousand different ways — said to me one night over dinner, “If you learned she might live to be 75, what would you do?” And I BURST INTO TEARS. I said, “How can you say something so mean?!?” How could he suggest I might have signed on for something that would never end? I actually have more tolerance of Julia’s ‘friends’ for this reason. I would never question the motives of Caro or MMBH or any of them, really, because pity is an awful trap. It traps both sides, and is hard to see when you’re in it.

  15. VeHEmence says:

    Um, is it just me, or has Elle.com removed both of her blog posts?

  16. And believe me, the Baugher’s are embarrassed.

    Something tells me that the Baugher Tab at the ol’ University Club is currently on an extended & indefinite hiatus … & Mom$er is driving all the way down to Evanston to grocery shop for 7-layer cran-guac-squash dip ingredients … & PettiFogger will strap on a camel back water bottle before he sets foot near the office water cooler anytime soon … & Little Brother Britt rues the day he decided against getting emancipation from the people he shares DNA with … & meanwhile, a sales rep at Boca Vista Retirement Villa is scoping out listings ready for immediate possession for an out-of-town over-the-phone buyer …

  17. CaptainGary says:

    SS, SF if this has been discussed already – and I’m similarly sorry and fat if it’s my stunning digital ineptitude (despite working in the biz) that’s causing this – but is anyone else having trouble finding live links to the woefully-moniker’d “Guinea Pig of Love” on Elle.com? The link that Donks herself posted on the Twitters goes to the home page and a search on the site turns up no such column. What gives? Could it already be shut down for re-tooling?

  18. MissDespised is the New JA Pilot says:

    So betting pool on which episode this shit of trainwreck gets cancelled on. I say eps 3.

    • cola champagne says:

      I wanted them to make The Marino’s a show. I think this will run the full 8.

    • flatface says:

      History is on your side. From bravoratings.com:

      “…Update – June 26th, 2012

      Miss Advised ratings are in and they are both good and bad. The overall viewer totals grew against last week’s premiere; gaining 7.2% or 41,000 but worryingly the 18-49 demo dropped from 0.30 to 0.20. It was two weeks of scoring 0.20 that caused Bravo to pull Love Broker from its March schedules, as Bravo could simply run another Real Housewives repeat and more or less be guaranteed to score a 0.40 demo figure and thus earn more advertising dollars in that hour…”

      • Guam in the Shower says:

        Whoever is writing those ratings recaps (not your flatface) is a moron. Almost all national advertising dollars are spent on an annual basis and are already committed through September. Advertisers don’t decide to spend additional money on a weekly basis based on how one tiny little show does in the ratings. While it benefits Bravo to put on something that will draw a larger audience, it doesn’t mean more advertising money. /end rant

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          Correct me if I’m wrong – because I probably am – but isn’t it in Bravo’s favor to keep ratings high so when they do their upfronts in May and then charge for their advertising slots – they can ask for more money because their shows did well?

          No one wants an advertiser to point to Miss Advised in a few months from now and have them get bargains on advertising because it looks like Bravo can’t deliver.

          I honestly don’t know so I’d love to be educated.

          • Guam in the Shower says:

            It’s in any networks favor to keep the ratings high so they’re in a better position to negotiate, definitely.

            But the notion that Bravo will lose money in next week’s episode of Miss Advised, or even that one show would bring down ad revenue is insane. Buyers buy 30+ cable networks for advertisers/brands with a large national presence. One show isn’t going to kill their budget for Bravo.

          • Guam in the Shower says:

            Also, it’s not about the amount of money so much as the pricing. An advertiser could have crappy pricing due to a long relationship with the network and the network could have zero interest in growing their spend.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            Cool, thanks.

  19. Cut. Don't use that. says:


  20. Edward R. Burro says:

    Hey, good thing she decided all those years ago to drop Baugher and use Julia Allison so as to protect her family’s privacy. That worked out pretty well for them.

    • Pelts Off the Charts says:

      I think it did work out for Britt. I’m sure most people in his Boston life have no idea that that Julia Allison trainwreck on Bravo is related to him. As for the parents, well they agreed to be part of the shitshow…..they deserve all the scorn they must be receiving at this point (albeit behind their backs, most likely).

      • cola champagne says:

        Btw, how contrived was his goodbye? It was along the lines of “Give those Californians hell” or something trite like that. Like she never moved to New York. This isn’t her first time out of the nest, dork. And she’s 31, not 21. And we wonder where she gets her ridiculousness?

  21. sarah says:

    oooh, does anyone know about this? just decided to check out her rantings on elle.com, and looks like it’s been scrubbed from the site. Not showing up in any search results at all and the google link just goes back to the main elle.com page. Interesting!

    • #herekittykittykittykittykittykittykittykittykittykittykittykittykittykitty

    • flatface says:

      Reported and debunked above, Love…

      • sarah says:

        ok, won’t bother posting here again. I thought it was funny/interesting enough to finally post here.

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          aw, did someone’s feelings get hurt? Sorry you went to all the trouble.

        • Oh for shit’s sake …

          Never mind, Happy Travels!

        • flatface says:

          Sheesh. Something I said, Sarah? Just pointing out, that the news was reported and dispelled.

        • cola champagne says:

          NO ONE CURR. Usually, I’m not so catty, but really, you were here a minute. Deflate your ego and exit stage left.

        • CDB says:

          Dear Sarah
          Please don’t leave, they are all waiting for the full scale return of AK Kitty and keep baiting others to try to bring it back out.

        • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

          Please, please, please, don’t internalize the polite pointing out of things.

          • sarah says:

            nooo JP, please don’t hate! My ire was directed to Brayella, who reminded me why I don’t post, as s/he seems to be crazy rude to any/all who don’t fall in line. I’m going back to lurking, so as to still enjoy your and Jacy’s funny, insightful writing without this hassle. I was excited when it seems JA was scrubbed from Elle, and sadly, I didn’t take the time to read the 100 comments above before posting and sharing my silly joy. Sorry brayella! peace out…

        • JFA says:

          Sorry but this entire thread is hilarious.

          And I will say, as someone who clearly needs more of a life because I actually do read most/all of the comments before I post usually…it is a bit annoying when this happens. But you are free to stay, person up there. Jaysus.

  22. Donkeycam Now! says:

    Stupid Donkey had it coming and she deserves being portrayed like a high-maintenance cackling man-hungry puerile famewhore of a donkey because… well…she is all those things.

    But it is also true that a lot of people out there, and I mean people with degrees and husbands, who live in big cities and run marathons and don’t believe in God, take reality TV seriously and they honestly believe that those games in Survivor aren’t rigged and the Bachelor and the Bachelorette are going to live happily ever after, next door to Tila Tequila and her girlfriend.

    All the reality TV contestants have to sign those contracts that made Dadsers wince and one of the clauses is that if you ever write a tell-all book or in any way divulge the inner workings of the show you are liable for like 300 bazillion million euros.

    Why is that? Well, because they know that if the truth starts to come out, it will break the spell of reality TV and their brands are going to become worthless.

    So… Donkey got what she deserved, but I also know a lot of people out there that could make the same mistake.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Yeah…I think reality TV is essentially evil.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      Really? There are really such people?

      • Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

        Yeah, that made me wonder as well.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        They say there’s a sucker born every minute. The teens I hear talking about reality shows on the subway are all bracingly cynical about them, though!

    • Convince me: How is it known that the games in Survivor are rigged, which contestant spilled the beans? I want to believe that Amazing Race & even Wipeout are genuine … are they?

      • Donkeycam Now! says:

        There was a time when they were outright redoing the games until they got the result they wanted. One of the contestants spilled the beans and the network offered some lame excuse along the lines “oh, the lighting wasn’t right, we had to reshoot it, 17 times”.

        Also, on American Idol, one time one of the judges (probably Paula, I can’t really remember) gave the contestant an opinion about a song that hadn’t been sung yet.

        In “Big Brother”, there is only one place in the entire house where the cameras don’t tread: where the contestants meet the production staff.

        And on and on and on.

        I read, years ago, an article in salon.com that was pretty enlightening about all the behind-the-scenes shenanigans of reality TV and about the contracts that the contestants have to sign, which have humongous penalties for any disclosure.

        Not sure about Amazing Race or Wipeout, though. Amazing Race seems slightly better than other reality-TV shows….

        • Well, it’s those humongous ‘disclosure’ penalties that make me think one of two things: [1] WHO ‘fessed up & paid up? [2] If there isn’t a bona fide contestant name tied to a paid penalty, who’s to say that it’s not just rumor?

          Don’t get me wrong, I hardly believe that all of reality tv is real, but some of the stuff centered around competing for big money makes me think that it can’t all be faked either.

          • Donkeycam Now! says:

            Some of the slip-ups are detected by viewers.

            With Survivor, I seem to remember, some viewers noticed the game had been shot in two different times of the day and put together in the editing room and blogged about it.

            Greg, I wish I could provide some links but this was a long time ago!

      • mule on rouge says:

        I don’t think the results are rigged so much as the games are designed to give an advantage to the popular characters. On Amazing Race, they use those surprise non-eliminations to save the favorite teams.

        • It’s been ages since I’ve seen AR, but now that you mention it, I have gotten the feeling that they sometimes implement challenges that will exploit the hell out of someone’s fears or that level out the playing field.

          I also assumed that they have multiple challenges to choose from & decide on the go which ones are used.

  23. Lady Donk Donk says:

    I think it moved.

  24. Peltergeist says:

    I know I’m late to this but I just managed to watch a few minutes of that Spreecast. (Slow afternoon.) I read what all of you said about it, but… wow. Julia’s rageface and Toilet’s one-two punches are crazy. They both think the other one is too dumb to know what she’s saying and just let the lies or snide remarks go unquestioned as a result, but their reactions are priceless. I know they’re “sisters” and “BFFs” but they would have one spectacular reality tv fight if this show got renewed.

  25. Jimbo says:

    Where was her career headed even without burning any bridges??

  26. Helena (Sausage Curls On One Size Of My Head) says:

    In what universe is that exchange with Britt “hilarious banter?” God, these people make me feel grateful that I have no sense of humor.

    I am also very much over her oh so cute “I hate you” response to anything that resembles criticism or sarcasm or whatever. She does it all the time, doesn’t she? Actually, it’s not just Donkey, I must have heard it a thousand times in stupid sitcoms, which is probably where Donkey got it from. So overused, and so not adorable.

  27. Why has the right-hand column taken a nosedive?

  28. Cola chamPagne says:

    Julia, I have glimpsed your future, and all I can say is: go back.

    (Gets one laugh from my father in the audience)

  29. SchemeyNutButter says:


  30. So. Blessed. says:

    Hmmm….could be something brewing in the ELLEisphere–crickets from La Donk, and this article (http://www.elle.com/news/culture/elle-tods-toast-jessica-biel-32831) which she attributed to her breakdown is

    • So. Blessed. says:

      now attributed to ELLE, not Julia Allison, as it was a few days back. (hold your fire–browser crash) Does that mean anything?

      • SchemeyNutButter says:


        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          APPLAUSE, you talented kitten, you.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      And the detail that is truly fabulous: the party venue is referred to throughout the post as the Chateau Marmot. A Freudian slip by our Guinea Pig of Love? Just sign me the Marmot of Muppetry.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I’m sorry, I’m confused can you clarify for a kitty?

      • So. Blessed. says:

        Julia went on and on via Twitter yesterday about this super-surprise ELLE assignment that she had to do immediately and that was why she was a ball of tears on ep 2. She threw some shade to Bravo on Twitter and SpreeCast that it wasn’t included and posted the link (above).

        Until today, her name was on the byline and it was included under her articles at ELLE.com. Now it has been stripped of her byline, replaced by the mysterious author “ELLE” so it doesn’t have anything to do with Julia. Coincidence, I think now.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          WHOA. Also, thank you so much!

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          PS, Donkey always goes completely mental when she doesn’t have a stable mate.

          Toilet Julia is away through this weekend at least. Lulz!

  31. Dr. Fraud, MD says:

    Sorry if I’m behind the times and this is known info but Bravo Ratings sez this about Ep. 2

    UPDATE 8.50pm 26-Jun-12 Miss Advised ratings are in and they are both good and bad. The overall audience totals grew against last week’s premiere; gaining 7.2% or 41,000 viewers, but worryingly the 18-49 demo dropped from 0.30 to 0.20. It was two weeks of scoring 0.20 that caused Bravo to pull Love Broker from its March schedules, as Bravo could simply run another Real Housewives repeat and more or less be guaranteed to score a 0.40 demo figure and thus earn more advertising dollars in that hour.

    • CDB says:

      Restrain me Brayella.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        There, there…shhhhh…

        *hands CDB grammy’s blanket, points to couch and tells CDB to lie down. gives CDB a grilled cheese on whole wheat, peach wine coolers, vicodin + cankleshausen ointment. dims lights and puts on Arrested Development DVD*

        • Dyspeptic says:

          hey, I want ALL of what CDB is getting…but can I have the grilled cheese on industrial white?

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        Try to punish Dr. Fraud and he will see right through you, CBD. That’s his business.

        • CDB says:

          Exactly. I think the Good Dr. is baiting me again….. I am just going to transfer my angst to watching Jason Bateman.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            Dear heavens, I transfer so much by watching Jason Bateman. But I doubt the same things as thee.

          • CDB says:

            I am just trying to keep all the buoys afloat (whatever that means.. IDK ask Sake Bombardier)
            still trying to figure it out

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            It was a boob joke. I think.

      • Sure thing, CDB!
        Silk ties or leather straps?

    • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

      Um…sorry if I stepped on toes here. If you guys would just fill me in, I’ll be more than happy to try my best to avoid offense in the future.

      • Dyspeptic says:

        nah, you didn’t. It’s been such a jam-packed few days here in the comments that nobody except the unhinged (and I count myself among them) could really be expected to know that that ratings squib has appeared here and there in various threads already. No big deal, just an opportunity for a lot of in-joke meme-ing and “hilarious banter.” (Yes that was a Baugher Family Joke.)bCarry on.

  32. Nicole says:

    Ok. I know this isn’t a big deal. But she edited that iPhone screen grab. She took out some of Britt’s comments. She calls him a “show-off” in reference to what? She must have deleted whatever text he sent. I only know this cause my 15 year old kitten tried to delete texts from me telling him when to be home.

    Carry on cat ladies.

    • darling dearest says:

      hes a show off because he rented a boat for them and she didn’t do anything like that.

  33. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Here is his deleted side of the conversation:

    “The ferrying of dear departed grandmother’s soul across the River Styx will occur at blackest Midnight, true to our eternal tradition. Allie and I will slaughter the goat. Purify yourself in chicken blood, oh unclean thing.”

    “No, chicken blood. Not carrot cake. Chicken blood. Are you even reading these things?”

  34. mule on rouge says:

    Am I reading the tip correctly, that 30-something Julia tried to con a restaurant into comping her group, by claiming to be a writer for a magazine — a magazine that published one tiny article of hers SEVERALYEARS AGO? See, here’s the thing… SHE’S A FUCKING THIEF.

  35. She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

    So I finally saw ep2 and … am not feeling the pity or whatever that some of you seem to be feeling. I mean, she looked like a desperate loon, but that’s because she is a desperate loon! She has been for some time and has had this pointed out to her time and time again by many people including people whose opinions supposedly matter to her. It’s not a new thing. Cringeworthy for sure, but no more than a lot of reality tv.
    As for Bravo taking advantage of her… no. Not only did Bravo not pull up for the OMG!Dowtown Condo and whisk A Donkey off in the dark of night to force her to participate in this, but she chased them at great length. If she was at all ignorant to how she would look on camera that can only be a willful ignorance because she has participated in many, many, many pilots and has admitted herself that she looked awful in most of them. What could possibly have induced her to believe that she would suddenly appear likable and clever? If she did not go into this with open eyes it’s only because she all but stapled them shut. She should have known what she was in for and I don’t pity her at all.

  36. The Normal Healthy Julia says:

    My comments on the Donk:

    * She constantly does these awful, hideous things: using a guy she just met to move boxes, begging a guy that she just met to kiss her, acting ridiculously irresponsible about her “dream job” — but somehow she doesn’t come off as completely horrid to me. She’s sort of charismatic.

    * She’s fat. Not completely fat, but just not beautiful anymore. Not for someone who makes her living off her looks. Her face looks particularly bloated and fat.

    * The show is really, really boring. I fell asleep watching it last night. Then I woke up to one of Julia’s particularly loud brays. Then I actually fell asleep again before the end of the show. I literally couldn’t make it to the end without falling asleep! This never happens to me with TV shows! I can even watch Celebrity Apprentice all the way through. It confirms to be that my addiction to this site isn’t watching the horrible antics of Julia Allison, but the witty catladies.

    * God she’s dumb. I think if she quit her the Internet antics, opened a PR firm (promoting something other than herself), and got major therapy, she’d actually be successful, and be able to land her dreamboat wallet.

    * She really is just lazy.

  37. bitchface says:

    I wish it was next Monday already.

    oh and bish please, I don’t know the LA scene at all (tots uncool), but even I know what Chateau Marmot is.

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      The Kraft service at Chateau Marmot is top notch. Just don’t go when they’re having the Spanish Interrogation.

  38. SchemeyNutButter says:


    • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

      Such a perfect image of Julia — going around in circles while looking for attention.

    • Onehundredcats says:

      That was absolutely one of the more bizarre parts of the episode – she acts like a socially awkward 14 y/o.
      “oh, you’re cold? We’re not because we have that inner heat! Or you can just do like I do and run around in circles!!”
      Seriously, wtf was that? 2 days later and I’m still processing that whole scene…

      • Pelts Off the Charts says:

        YES! that whole scene disturbed me immensely. WHY did she say that to Toilet Julia? Instead of just, “ok let’s head back!”

      • Actual Shower Vommer says:

        I *think* she was trying to make fun of TJ for being too skinny (can’t produce any body heat, unlike JA who produces plenty of internal heat in her Kardashian ass).

        My boycat caught that moment and visibly recoiled, asking “Why is she so awkward?” Later, I showed him pictures of what she used to look like…I’ve never seen that poor guy look so confused, haha.

  39. Princess Sparklefart says:

    Direct link to the tarot article. I stopped after the first sentence.


    • CaptainGary says:

      I still say there’s something up. That’s from the RSS feed, which will sometimes stay in existence after the links to a page within the site navigation have been killed – which appears to have happened here. Whatever the case is, Elle doesn’t want people finding those craptastic articles and, as ever, something is rotten in the state of Donkmark.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

        When the first column ran, Elle.com tweeted a link and referred to her as a “guest blogger.” There’s no sign that she’s a contributing writer or anything else for print.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I knew she was lying when she said she would be a contributing writer.

        • Yes, the tarot card article link I posted earlier has ‘guest blogger’ right there in the url.

          QUESTION: I’m certain that D0nkey’s tweeted link didn’t go to the main page originally — how did Elle facilitate the redirect? I’m guessing they can do that at their level, right? (as in, it wouldn’t require them having Twitter change the url, right?)

      • The Final Rose says:

        I agree – searching elle.com for Julia Allison, Guinea Pig of Love, and Miss Advised brought up nothing for me. If you go under “Life & Love” from the main page, you can find the article buried there, but they are not making it easy for anyone to find their esteemed guest blogger. If they’re scrubbing her name from the bylines too, I wonder if they are trying to obey the letter of their agreement with Bravo without totally embarrassing themselves further?

        Legalese, Julia!

    • SchemeyNutButter says:

      I kid you not, captcha was “fade away”.


      Are they scrubbing her byline from all but the most current article?

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        I really think that there site is jacked up and it has nothing to do with Julia, but since I was clicking around. . . .

        This thing:

        looks like that thing up there.

    • SchemeyNutButter says:


    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      My guess, Elle is a respectable publication with roots in France. They have standards, in terms of content, ethics, attitude and the physical appearance of those who represent the brand.

      Donkey complained, seemed extremely lazy, cried like a hosebeast, looks gross/old, WEARS ONLY PINK and is everything that Elle is not. The ratings suck and Donkey is getting attacked by every blog/commenter that cares to pay attention, wouldn’t you do the same?The dead links and the scrubbing of the bylines were probably not an accident, she is most likely negatively affecting their brand.

      • They Call Me Jack says:

        My guess too, DoP. Somebody at Elle got called out on the carpet for not googling Donkey in the first place and the powers that be are rightfully embarrassed.

      • Barking Mad says:

        She said in the last episode before her meeting that she pitched an idea for a column to Elle and they hired her based on her ten years of journalism experience.

        Maybe they don’t like a lying liar who lies!

  40. SchemeyNutButter says:


  41. Donkey of Perdition says:

    OT- I want the like button back, I miss my validation.

  42. Edward R. Burro says:

    This is a comment from the TWoP Miss Advised thread last night: “Julia is horrid, and not even in a Reality Gold way, she’s so loud and brash and annoying. She can definitely be photogenic pretty in some photos but the plastic surgery has done her no favors. I can’t stand her face! Her mouth looks like she’s hiding an upside down clothes hanger in it and her nose job has given her this pig-like face when she’s on camera, kind of like Kathleen Turners aged face, but worse, she needs to GO. I’m a woman but I can’t think of any stronger man-repellent than her personality. Her roommate is going to go bald if she doesn’t eat some fat.”

    Is this one of you fine catladies? I died at the description of her mouth. By the way, the thread is still only two pages long after two episodes. No one is watching this shitshow.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      “Her mouth looks like she’s hiding an upside down clothes hanger in it and her nose job has given her this pig-like face when she’s on camera, kind of like Kathleen Turners aged face, but worse, she needs to GO.”

      Dead of laughter.

  43. SchemeyNutButter says:

    The Free Lily Segment

    And then at the recap:

    • I’ve been wearing my big black hat at the pool & Flusher Price just ruined that for me.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      This is making me really sad.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      p.s. Her pig nose is looking extra piggish in this screencap. She’s getting the face she deserves.

    • The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

      OK here’s the thing. If TJ thought it was just soooo awful they didn’t take Lilly… why not put a leash on Lilly and say “Hey Julia, let’s take Lilly to the beach with us.” It’s almost like she’s trying to capitalize off the hatred for Julia by throwing shade and bitchface and TBH it makes her almost as bad as Julia.

      • juliaspublicist says:

        I thought dogs were illegal on the beach.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          They are, not that a donkey would care – so let’s not even give her that out.

  44. diluted brain says:

    If you can’t expense a meal or can’t afford it – then don’t go there for “work”. She is such a classless, tacky pig (well donkey, but pig fits better in this case). She is just insane. It’s like how does one become a worse person each passing day..

  45. Dr. Gary says:

    *fingers crossed*

    Pleeeaassseeee Bravo, don’t cancel the show until AFTER next week’s episode. I need to see Big Julia sitting on the couch with Annie Blahblah, crying and reading RBD.

  46. The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

    OT, but I realized I’ve never shared my run-in with Donk, so here we go.

    Back in the day (circa… 2006 or so) I wrote a sex column, a la Donks for my college. (Yes, totally embarrassing. A lot of kids did it at the time and we totally thought we were edgy. Barf.) Anyway, Julia was the “first” with her Sex on the Hilltop column, so many of us knew of her, at least.

    Anyway, I got a bunch of emails one day about a “girlfight” between me and another sexblogger. Inquiring what they could possibly mean, I was directed to Julia’s original blog, where she had juxtaposed a picture of me and a picture of this other sexblogger’s Twitter.

    The sexblogger had said that she wanted to go on a diet. Julia wrote, “Meow!” insinuating that… somehow this sexblogger was calling me fat.

    This was feminist Julia Baugher’s grand conclusion: we were fighting with each other about being “fat”.

    Keep in mind:
    1) she had no idea whether or not me and sexblogger even knew each other
    2) it was pretty clear sexblogger was just talking about herself
    3) even if for some reason it was an obvious swipe, why would you pit two other women against each other?
    4) how fuck?

    Such a brave proponent of self-esteem for ALL THE GIRLS, our donkey.

  47. Dr. Gary says:

    Major Lulz – when you click on the link to Big Julia’s latest Guinea Pig of Love column posted on her FB page, it looks like it’s taking you to the column, then instantly redirects to the main elle.com page.

  48. juliaspublicist says:

    OT: Have any of y’all seen the Newsroom? Do you hate it as much as I do?

    • Dr. Gary says:

      YES. I tried watching it the other night with the cathus and couldn’t do it. Told him the dialogue was ‘trying too hard’.

    • Lilly Liberation Front says:

      I can’t watch anything with Olivia Munn in it. She gives me the ragies something fierce. A shame, because I’d like to see Channing Tatum shake his ass at me for two hours this weekend.

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      I did five years in an international newsroom and got my baptism of fire with 911. Granted it was VOA not a faux galmorous cable network, but it was radio tv and we were the source of fair and balanced news in many compromised areas. Nothing was sexy or rapid fire repartee (we just did our jobs) and I would have killed to have Emily Mortimer as a producer (I love her). Working bothers me because no one in the real world talks so fast. The thud of Olivia munn always makes me wince. I think the show hasp potential but they need to get rid of Olivia munn. She is awful.

      • Joardache & the Pelts says:

        Dammit.. “working” is supposed to be Sorkin. And yeah working bothers me, catch me in France for next few weeks andthen I’ll figure this post MFA career out and how topay for all of it.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Anywhere to see it for free? You cats peeps always have the best links.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      No. Not ever. It adds to the illusion that large media companies are actually practicing a form of journalism. Citizen’s United allowed the influx of massive amount of unchecked money, large media corporations are the benefactors of that money, the failure to scream bloody hell by those same corps and their employees is unforgivable…journalists/talking heads (members of the now defunct 4th estate) have failed this country, its citizens, and their professional duty.

      *rant over*

  49. *fist shakes* says:

    For people outside the US, this site has a list of links to stream / download episodes 1 and 2.

    Personally, I like using putlocker.


  50. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    I’m just in shock about the 10 person entourage thing. She really is completely fucking sick in the head. Pathological. If she didn’t have the luck to be born into a wealthy family she’d be a vagrant on the streets.

  51. Sake Bombardier says:

    Was she pretending to write for Teen Vogue? Just curious since she was recently “asked”/aka called out about this credit on Twitter:

    @AliStraka @TeenVogue – It was years ago! I did two for them. Both killed. 🙁 Here’s one: http://juliaallisonarticles.tumblr.com/post/110352586

    And of course she had to at them. Same bray, different day.

    • bitchface says:

      hahaha “It was years ago!”

      I wrote a letter to the President of the United States when I was young, asking him to stop the arms race. I guess that makes me Secretary of Defense? IT WAS YEARS AGO! KILLED!

  52. Mememe says:

    I love what you did here! I honestly didn’t even know who this sad excuse for a girl was until I saw the episode that almost made me vomit. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed watching a TV show. She seriously grosses me out and is it just me, or does this chick look like The Joker from Batman? It’s not just her face that makes me queasy, it’s her behavior. Seriously, WHO DOES THAT???? I feel sorry for her parents. What a shame. She truly is the true definition of TRAINWRECK. Anyway, this girl is so dumb that she warns people not to “Google” her on national TV which BTW is the only reason I even looked her up in the first place. I wasn’t surprised to find an unlimited variety of sites like this. I’m glad I’m not the only one that thinks she should be banned from ever speaking again. I’m not much of a blogger…in fact the only two responses I’ve ever written (this one and another about how much I loathe LuAnn from NY Housewives) should show how much this episode mortified me. I’m scarred for life.

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