Can Someone Help a Poor Geo-Blocked Cat Lady Out?

Just some brief Highlights for a Hater?

Flusher Price was an asshole? Donkey slapped a dude who wouldn’t kiss her? Annie Lalla told her she was a mentalcase?
Donk comes off as so mentally ill that we are almost sympathetic and mad at Bravo for putting her on a reality show?


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188 Responses to Can Someone Help a Poor Geo-Blocked Cat Lady Out?

  1. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Donkey met a smokin’ hot guy who was a friend of Toilet Julia’s man. Julia interrogated him on the beach with questions and then aggressively went after him all night on the double date begging him for a kiss.

    She is now getting defensive on Twitter and Spreecast insisting he has a girlfriend and pretty much trashing him as much as she did last week’s guy.

    She does not come off sympathetic AT ALL. Just a complete and utter loon.

    Donkey loses it in a coming attraction where she sits with Annie Lalla and looks at RBD. Julia gets a case of the ragies, angry that we call her stalkers. Annie says if Julia is getting so mad, there must be some truth to it. ZING!

    Toilet Julia seems cool and confident and has a normal thing going on with her man which seems to highlight what a trainwreck Julia is.

    There is more dirt on the Spreecast but someone else will have to fill you in on that. Toilet Julia is away and a Donkey is spinning, blowing up the Twitter to whoever will talk to her.

    • mcakez says:

      I would have to watch again for specifics, but I feel it must be noted: Julia A. came on STRONG to the guy TJ was clearly trying to hook up with. She was eye-fucking him, talking about his hotness, pushing her boobs out, desperately holding his hand during a handshake, etc. I say this because the two JA neonates watching with me pointed out how crude she was in coming on to TJ’s date, not just because it clearly happened. They both said it was crass and rude. Especially considering how she pointed out how if the TJ date had spun the bottle and hit her she would have loved to make-out with him.

      Right. Because guys with girlfriends are totally off limits to her.

      • miss assvice says:

        I am sure this was so attractive as he was standing in their kitchen.


      • Meow Mix says:

        When she was pulling that shit with TJ’s guy when she first met him, my fiance said, “Holy shit. She’s the type of girl who would fuck your boyfriend.”

      • darling dearest says:

        everytime you guys say TJ I can’t help but think of my gurl Teej and not toliet julia

        • Restylame says:

          Samesies. Ice cream gift certificates – nevah 4get.

          • stalker is the new fat says:

            I miss Our Girl Teej too but I guess he’s all famous now.


          • Meow Mix says:

            AHAHAHAA Stalker, I scrolled past that gif really fast and thought it was a clip from Miss Advised! Oh lordy.

        • Skirt Pull says:

          He was on RHONY last night! In the background when Sonja and Ramona are fighting at the Social Life party.

  2. Random Snowflake says:

    Someone needs to start uploading these episodes to the web so those of us without cable can see them. There’s no way I’m paying for cable TV or buying them from Amazon or iTunes, but I am curious to watch the train wreck..

  3. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Random, someone linked it for me the day after last week’s show, hopefully they will do it again.

  4. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Jacy – D of P had this to say about the Spreecast in the last thread:

    “She mentioned in her spreecast that she had fights with her parents about signing the release, that her dad put up a huge stink. He also chastised her regarding her candor. They also don’t have cable and wont get it for the show. That’s gotta feel real shitty, with all their money, they still refuse to pop 75$ for a few months in order to watch their daughter.”

    I have a feeling the Spreecast had more dish than the show Anyone who watched it, fill us in!

    • helobabe says:

      She also said she gave TJ a book about having daddy issues and got upset when TJ said what the book was about.

  5. Dr. Gary says:

    From tonight’s post-show spreecast with Big Julia + Tiny Julia:

    TJ (Tiny Julia): “When you talk a lot, it’s because you’re nervous. And you’re protecting yourself and it’s what you do because you are uncomfortable with what’s going on. I think if people get to watch more and get to know you, and kind of see that…knowing you, I know that’s one of the things you do when you’re really nervous…”

    BJ (Big Julia): “I was really embarrassed at the way that Keith meeting was edited. I do talk a lot.”

    TJ: ‘Did they edit it like that? Oh, okay.”

    Big Julia realizes that TJ is calling her out on this and gets REALLY PISSED. You can see her face change as she realizes what TJ is implying and it’s really scary:


    TJ better sleep with one eye open when she gets home. Just sayin’.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:


      Spreecast is where the action is!!!!

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        PS, MORE!!!!

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Squee-cast, Pt. 2:

          TJ: “Hang on, this party’s getting riled up here (she’s in NYC, at a friend’s house for a viewing party). Hey guys, can you guys just keep it down?”

          BJ: Big goofy smile, “Where are youuuu????” (she’s home alone, at ‘the home they share’ in MDR)

          TJ: “I’m at a friend’s house. They’re all riled up about this.”

          Big Julia, clearly jealous that TJ is with friends and getting a lot of attention, has to shift the focus back to herself.

          BJ: “Hang on, someone wants to say hello to you. Hold on.” Goes to grab Lilly.

          TJ: “Awwww…Lilly…”

          Big Julia RUNS back to the camera with Lilly, holding her up, back paws dangling in the air [that poor fucking dog]. Shoves Lilly into the camera and shakes her paw.

          TJ: “Lilly. Lilly.” TJ waves at the camera. Big Julia keeps shaking Lilly’s paw. Lilly starts licking her lips [which is a sign of distress. And if that asshole knew anything about dogs, she would KNOW THAT].

          BJ: “She says hi. Anyway. She wanted to say hello to you.” Tosses her back down on the ground.

          TJ: “By the way, how much do you love it when we go to the beach and Lilly gets left inside?” [my heart sank when I heard this. Just the thought of that poor dog left alone inside all day? Makes me tear up.]

          Big Julia gives her a look and sort of throws her hands up in the air. She completely ignores the comment and changes the subject.

          Next time you wonder why people ‘hate you’, Julie? THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY.

          (approx. minute 5:45 – 8:05)

          • Dr. Gary says:

            Moment Big Julia realizes that TJ has just made the comment about leaving Lilly inside while they go to the beach:


          • Donkey of Perdition says:

            She really manhandled that poor dog, she treats it like how a 5 year treats a stuffed animal.

          • virgil reid says:

            she was sooo unhinged on spreecast. it was actually uncomfortable to watch.

          • fl00fy says:


            *averts eyes*

    • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

      Picture a young Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire when I say this: I want some more!

    • Sacred Scrapbooks Picture Consultant says:

      It’s a relationship for the camera, not a real friendship: without Toilet Julia, Julia would have no one to interact with, and that ain’t TV. Toilet’s job is to mug a sane person’s reactions to the lunacy, and to lead Julia down the garden path when so guided by the producers. Basically, she’s a Judas goat.

      • ceeza says:

        this is exactly what I said.. There are no other supporting characters in Donkeys character arc.. TJ is needed for this purpose.. Who else would she discuss her “dates” with.. The other 2 women have real life friends willing to go on camera to walk in the park with or go out to lunch with etc…. All of Donkeys other human interactions thus far have been with fake set up business meetings and so on..

        • Ignoramus with Pelts says:

          Yeah toilet Jules is all about making donk look crazy and not cute shall we say. Very sad…I almost have sympathy for donks.

    • juliajane says:

      I love this screencap and its description, I literally lol’d.

  6. Dr. Gary says:

    Squee-cast, Pt 3:

    Big Julia and TJ are talking about BJ attacking that guy on the double date and how humiliated she is.

    BJ: “It was REALLY hard to watch that.”

    TJ: (yelling at the BJ) “Now you know how I felt!! I was like NOOOOO…But you’ve also been in positions where you’ve said to me ‘No!’ (blah, blah, blah) Not saying I’ve ever kiss-raped someone.”

    The entire time she’s talking, Big Julia has pulled Lilly back on her lap, and is shoving her in front of the camera, covering Lilly’s eyes and shaking her like a doll.

    BJ: “You have to take responsibility for the spin-the-bottle nonsense. Because that was not my idea.”

    blah, blah, blah

    BJ: “I kiss raped a man.’

    BJ reads comments where she gets called out on saying ‘kiss raped’ by our very own Chescaleigh:

    chescaleigh: kiss raped? – 38:53

    chescaleigh: why would you say that? – 38:57

    BJ: “JP, now I’m in trouble for saying your thing, that you started.”

    chescaleigh: do you think making rape anaologies is appropriate? – 39:08

    TJ: “Moving on from that! Moving on from that!”

    chescaleigh: you’re not in trounble – 39:14

    chescaleigh: i’m just asking an honest question – 39:20

    BJ types: “JP came up with that term. – 39:27”

    Anddddddd just like that, TJ gets thrown under the bus.

    chescaleigh: AND? – 39:31

    chescaleigh: who cares who came up with it – 39:35

    Big Julia does a major eyeroll when she reads chesca’s comments and starts typing furiously.

    chescaleigh: haven’t you yourself said you were a victim of date rape? and have had experience w rape in your family? – 39:54

    BJ ignores her follow up questions and, once again, changes the subject.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      It’s fascinating observing our Julia’s go-to excuse that “it wasn’t my plan” or “it wasn’t my idea” as in the kiss-raping comment – “JP, now I’m in trouble for saying your thing, that you started.” – and the comment about the spin-the-bottle game – “You (TJ) have to take responsibility for the spin-the-bottle nonsense. Because that was not my idea.”

      It’s interesting because if her intention is to seem more likeable, it doesn’t work. Blaming someone else, especially blaming a very good friend, is instantly UN-likable, whatever the actual truth of the incident might be. B

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I said in chat “he should have brought his rape whistle” because she really was disrespecting his clear boundaries. I don’t think she should apologize for saying “kiss rape” as much as she should apologize for acting so sexually creepy.

        I mean, yeah, he wasn’t in any physical danger, but she was being so inappropriate and inconsiderate that it was incredibly uncomfortable for me to watch as someone who has experienced sexual assault.

        • chesca says:

          it’s not a matter of apologizing. she can say whatever she wants. i just found it odd that someone that says they’ve been a victim of date rape and later revealed that her mother was raped would be ok with using rape as an analogy for being overly aggressively trying to kiss someone. that’s all. after my fiance’s best friend killed himself we stopped saying “i wanted to kill myself” when talking about uncomfortable situations because considering our experience with suicide it was just a really tacky thing to say. i would think someone that’s on a mission for “all the girls” would do the same.

          • Right there w/ ya,Chesca — if / when someone pantomimes putting a gun to their head, I have a physical reaction I can’t suppress & it changes my whole being at that very moment.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I’m saying that, to me, her using rape as an analogy was accurate, because she was forcing herself on him sexually.

          • chesca says:

            @Albie I understand the analogy. I’m just saying that I believe a rape victim making a rape joke is in poor taste. it’s cool though, we can agree to disagree. just wanted to clarify my comment.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I am not explaining myself well. I think it was appropriate for her to use rape as an analogy because (from my perspective) she was acting like a rapist, albeit to a far lesser degree.

            Totally in agreement that her passing it off as a joke is just heinous.

      • monster (Single and Mingle) says:

        you better duck, Fameless Shamewhore


  7. Fauxga Party! says:

    To add to above: The voice-over reason that was given for having TJ’s man and his friend over for a double date was for her column, which we see her “pitching” in a cringe-worthy scene where she goes on and on about how much she hates being single and is worried about what’s wrong with her while this dude from Elle attempts to look politely interested.

    So whenever the conversation goes dead, Donk tries to steer it to dating discussion like “What’s the worst thing a girl can do during early courtship?” Yeah, she said courtship… how precious. This goes over about as well as you’re imagining.

    And she was SO all over that guy, at one point she practically climbs him like a tree. Still no kiss. No means no, Donk.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Then when she is crestfallen that her attempts to literally throw herself at him come to nothing, she says, “In my 20s, this worked like a charm!”

      • ‘In my 20’s’ … Hmmm … someone in a previous thread did quote a comment found on one of the Miss Advised reviews saying that at GU, D0nkey would go sit on random guys laps in the lunchroom …

        D0nkey pinning her prey, getting ready to go in for the kill:

  8. MY Beach Home says:

    For me the most jaw dropping moment was when she/someone implies that she may have exes on in future episodes and then later jakob&julia is reference (not by name). Is she really going to rehash redacted on a reality show? Does this shed some light on possible alternate interpretations of the don’t you think it was meant to be/run away in terror encounter in SF last year? What does Redacted’s Mom think about all of this? I have so many questions. And such a hangover. That was so brutal to watch!

  9. Albie Quirky says:

    Amy’s date with Lewis Howes was also incredibly cringetastic. She made a big fuss about his being 29 to her supposed 34, they went skating, she obsessed out loud about calories non-stop at the restaurant after, she hypothesized that he must have a big dick (this bit, at least, was to the cameras rather than at the restaurant) and then when he didn’t call her after, she broke one of her Inflexible Rules and called him, only to get his dumb cluck voice mail.

    Emily got hit on on her show by some unknown rapper (not DeStorm) who basically passive-aggressived her into a shitty boring date that ended up at a strip club. She also went to a dog park with a pretty Kim Cattrall-looking pal so that we could see her brag about fucking Gavin Newsom and having threesomes.

    • I really did want to like Amy, but that warped food issue at the table & saying she had to run the next morning because she had a hot chocolate? Sorry girthfriend, but that was annoying as fuck. Just live in the moment & enjoy it, eh? Also? Periwinkle is an ‘okay’ color for ya, but try something else for a change.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I thought she was being sarcastic when she said something like, “Hot chocolate? This is something different.” I thought, Okay, that idiot Lewis Howes isn’t creative or anything but who doesn’t like hot chocolate? Chill out, lady. But no… she actually doesn’t ever have hot chocolate. Okay, then. I love how the waiter knew immediately that she was going to send her drink back for calorie issues, too.

    • Peltergeist says:

      I’m pretty shocked that an apparently successful matchmaker with so many rules doesn’t have the common sense to know she should downplay her various high maintenance neuroses on a first date. And for someone who is such a control freak, that bathtub scene was shot from a pretty revealing angle.

      Also, I can’t stand Emily. At all.

      • mule on rouge says:

        Warning: do not look directly at her incandescent teeth, or your retinas will burst into flames.

    • Wow says:

      Amy looks like a terrible dater. When I was dating, there was nothing worse than going out with a woman that barely eats on the first date. Couldn’t she just take the whip cream off with a spoon? High Maintenance!!! She was so proud of herself for ordering a hot chocolate like it was a huge accomplishment?!?!? That is scary.

  10. Rosalie says:

    This is from Julia’s twitter:

    “If I hadn’t named @Lillydog Lilly, I would have named her Snowball. Or Marshmallow. #ThingsYouDidNotNeedToKnow”

    I don’t have a degree in Donkology, so forgive me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t the dog’s original name Marshmallow and she renamed her Lilly?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Indeed, yes. And I believe she was named Marshmallow for years.

    • cupcake cray cray says:

      I believe marshmallow was what jakob called lilly. since julia changes her entire persona based upon the man she’s dating, she decided it was no big deal to change lilly’s name to marshmallow, because a dog is just a THING anyway, and it’s not like changing lilly’s name after she’d been called lilly for a few years wouldn’t be confusing for the poor dog at all. and then jakob dumped her ass and she went back to calling her lilly.

    • Dr. Fraud, MD says:

      That poor little dog? Actually? The first name she had was “Star.” She’s been called everything under the sun and that’s not even a portion of the cruelty she’s known. Her poor partner doggie had to be rescued by Mama Baugher…who relented apparently and allowed poor Star/Lilly/Marshmallow/Snowball to be kept by Donkerina.

      Jack The Bulldog has at least one story about that poor little dog being dragged to class at G-town despite protests from professors. I believe Lilly had to spend one exam period isolated in the hall, if I recall correctly.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      I wish I didn’t know this, but Lilly is the dog’s original name. Julia got Lilly and her brother dog Langdon when she was with the GU law grad. Her parents confiscated the dogs and eventually let her have Lilly back. Landon clearly lucked out.

      She has called the dog Snowball, Marshmallow, Monster, etc. according to how she wanted people to view her at the moment.

      • Lilly Liberation Front says:

        Yep. I remember a few videos where she took Lilly to Vimeo and called her Marshmallow. I thought that was her name for the longest time.

  11. Per, episodes I & II will run again Thurs at 11:00 a.m. & 12:00 p.m. (my understanding is that’s based on EST, so adjust accordingly) & I guess this same link that worked last night will be the one?

    PROTIP: It takes a while to show itself, but the “x” to close the over-the-screen ad eventually materializes (it’s tiny too).

  12. Onocentaur says:

    The matchmaker lady is honestly worse than Julia. Bitch hates on cat owners and says cats will prevent you from getting laid. Crazy matchmaker lady has no sex AND no cats.

    • She has a tunnel vision focus — all of her advice is based strictly on her own experiences & failings — she doesn’t take into consideration that there are people out there not wound nearly so tight as her.

      She must go months w/out having an iota of fun.

      • Onocentaur says:

        Ugh yeah I am still in the process of watching it and she just went on her date and freaked out over hot chocolate and chicken pot pie. And yeah, like, she is skinnier than me or whatever, but I also have a lot more fun and that gets you farther, lovelife wise, than having PERFECTLY TONED ARMS or whatever.

        • I have an older friend* (grandmother of a teenager, just to give you an idea of how long gravity has had to do its thang), who is loads of fun & never meets a stranger … she’e always getting hit on by young, hot guys, because fun is, you know, fun, & they want to have it.

          *happily married to one man for decades & not putting herself out there to hook-up, mind you, she just can’t not have a good time, it’s her nature.

        • mule on rouge says:

          Those skinny chicks sure make finding a boyfriend look difficult.


      • JFA says:

        This. She is beyond offensive. I want to slap her so hard. One of my good girlfriends has a very happy marriage with a younger guy. STFU. I dated younger guys all the time when I was single, who fucking cares?! Plenty of ladies like to eat, love sex, CALL GUYS FIRST, and date younger. Jesus.

        • Jack the Bulldog says:

          Between the trashing of cat owners and her bizarro disdain for a pot pie, I found Laurent fucking unbearable. Just really unpleasant. But the age difference b.s. was the last straw. Six years between her and grifter Howes? So fucking what? My best friend married a woman seven years his senior and they are healthy and happy and the envy of many.

          • JFA says:


          • JFA says:

            I feel like no one has discussed but how about that moment in the first episode wehre they show her with an ostensibly straight male client and she asks if he has ever gayed off (my friends expression and makes me LOL, shut up) and he says no and she gives him a stare down to see if he is lying? She is a cunt. Just curious as to why anyone would take dating advice from someone who is single, 34, and refuses to consume food. Not quite sure, maybe it’s just me but…ain’t buying what she’s selling.

          • JFA says:

            I also loved the PAINFULLY awkward date with “AB” in the first episode. “Heh heh, you are cute…why did you dump me? I am so alone.” And they cut to him and he kinda just looks bemused/scared. Oh girlfriend.

    • JFA says:

      She’s the worst. She’s oddly compelling because she’s just SO BRITTLE AND MISERABLE. But I cannot stand her. SHe’s just a very sad person.

      • SilverBulletViBRAYtor says:

        And she ended the date by whining, “This was fun…right?” This was the moment that caused my husband to leave the room.

        • JFA says:

          I thought I was comically bad at dating. I was so very wrong. This isn’t even comical actually, this is just sad and pathological.

  13. stalker is the new fat says:

    When my fupa and I were at the gym last night, two girls were watching Miss Advised (the first ep I guess; this was around 5 pm EDT). They didn’t noticibly react with disgust or anything. I wanted to interview them but refrained. Then I went and did squats because I’m awesome.

  14. MY Beach Home says:

    I just tried to watch some of the spreecast and holy hell! The only time she isn’t pouting & whining is when TJ says something about BJ that she thinks is adorable. She can literally only sustain interest a conversation if it is flatteringly about herself, which hasn’t happened much yet. She is going to shank a bitch.

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      Spot on, Mbh, that is exactly right. In fact, I felt that she’s only interested when she herself is talking. At the beginning, TJ gives a longish speech that is actually a quite flattering, bullshitty take on why BJ cried in that episode (“It was scary…that stress breaks you down…you’re in a new city, it’s alot…”) and even here, you can watch the interest drain out of BJ’s face as she waits impatiently for her turn.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        It’s hard.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          That’s what she said. Oh no, wait, if “it” were hard she’d just cry and put the dog in the bad with her. My bad.

      • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

        There were a couple (OK, many!) telling moments in the spreecast, but the two that stood out to me were:

        ~46:00 a viewer asked “why did you do the show?” and BJ seems to assume they’re asking her, but she shouts and points at TJ as if she’s incredulous that someone might ask TJ that question. BJ blathers on and on about her motivations, and a couple of minutes later the viewer clarifies that the question is for both of them. TJ acknowledges this is a small voice, while BJ obliviously yammers for another minute or so.

        ~51:00 TJ mentions her break-up and BJ interrupts her with a near-deafening bray, “by the way… I was staying with her when she broke up with her boyfriend; I witnessed it… I don’t need to EVER see that again!” Yes, Donkey was traumatized by witnessing TJ’s break-up; no doubt it was infinitely more painful for Donkey than TJ.

    • Get a Stylist-Your Dad Does Not Want Nut Butter says:

      Having a conversation with JA is impossible. How can anyone stand her. She shushes TJ and basically treats her like she’s her puppet or minion. JA must be a pain in arse to deal/live with. She left TJ instructions on how to clean…bitch, get the eff out of here w/ that mess and go wash yo’ pelts.

  15. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    In the spreecast, we discover that to Toilet Julia everything is hard. It’s really hard. Dating is hard, being on camera is hard, living in New York is hard, the tall buildings are hard, vacuuming is hard. So hard, y’all. She also employs the ubiquitous teenager “like” approximately 7,894 times. I was like, she was like, it was like, Lily was like, hard. It’s really, like, hard.

  16. Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

    Catladies, I’m confused by why Toilet Julia is on Speecast. Umm, she’s like a very, very minor part of this show. You can tell from her mannerisms and how utterly bored she is with Julia, though, that’s she’s pretty sure she’s stealing Julia’s thunder. She’s a pretty shitty sidekick.

    • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

      JA: “I’m kind of embarrassed by the way they edited the [segment with Keith from Elle]. I mean, I do talk a lot but…”
      TJ: “Oh, they edited that?”

      WOW. WOW. Seriously, Toilet Julia, your bitch is showing. This isn’t doing you any favors. Seriously.

      • I’m convinced that Flusher Price is secretly having fun at D0nkey’s expense, that she’s does subtle poking of the beast for the benefit of real friends with whom she shares an inside joke & laughs at D0nkey. How else would she save (some) face after willingly being a part of the shitshow?

        • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

          Absolutely. And Julia Allison, being unable to pick up on social cues, can’t see how passive-aggressive TJ is.

          How TJ is acting towards Julia is how I imagine Mary Rambin did towards the end.

          • Well, I imagine that MareMare BeachHair’s bitch flag was extremely evident …

            Flusher Price’s approach is more like a subtle beacon to the cat cave, & if you will recall, D0nkey is legally blind, doncha know.

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Somehow Mary’s side-eye didn’t offend me. She went into her relationship with Julia with good will and intentions and then slowly realized that the situation was impossible. Her bitchiness came out of disappointment and feeling used.

            Toilet seems to have had nothing but contempt for Julia from the start. Which is a perfectly understandable reaction…but not attractive when you are deciding to climb on for a ride regardless.

            Lie down with Lil(l)y, get up with fleas, Toilet.

        • عبد الحسين شعبان says:

          Completely yes.

        • cola champagne says:

          TJ comes off to me as extremely confident and unflappable. That’s probably why she will last longer than most of the older friends, because it seems like Julia will follow her around more and try to emulate her because she’s tiny, cute, not desperate, and YOUNG, and Julia is desperately trying to hold on to all that. Julia had all these things and squandered it, and that’s why she still latches on to TJ, and TJ knows this so she’s just very blunt with her. Honestly, she might be the one who snaps Julia out of her daze. I just thought the fake sweat after her workout was sad. Does she look like she works out to you?

          • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

            Cola, that’s funny. I was thinking the exact same thing about the sweat stain on the front of her shirt. She was wearing a black sports bra underneath, and she managed to sweat through that and soak through her tank? And her hair wasn’t matted? That was really strange. I guess the sweat via spray bottle full of water was supposed to reinforce the idea that the dude was her personal trainer and not just some idiot from central casting.

          • cola champagne says:

            My boyfriend said he liked the way the sweat was symmetrical (!!!!) and he knows NOTHING about the memes on this site.

          • bitchface says:

            omg i never noticed that (probably because the only work out I do is lifting mountain dew to my gullet) but I thought it so weird that they put personal trainer as a title then they were tongue wrestling and snuggling later (then he, um, leaves)

            and the dudes kept saying that their pad was nice….

      • Joardache & the Pelts says:

        Judging from the quality, I think the spree cast is something Julia set up independent of Bravo, another lame attempt at damage control and twisting the producer’s narrative. It’s her version of a Housewives-style Reunion or WWHL . Since it ain’t gonna happen on Bravo.
        I’m halfway through and bored.

  17. chesca says:

    Julia brought up on Twitter that the “real reason” she broke things off with Justin (I think that’s his name…) was because he said something “really racist and offensive” off camera. In the spreecast she brought it up again and basically led JP into backing her up. She said something like, “now I want to address what people were saying about Justin and…JP you remember that THING he said off camera. it was really OFFENSIVE??” and it almost looked like it took JP a second to even register what Julia was talking about which was really telling.

    So I asked why she didn’t tell him that she was offended and wasn’t interested in dating someone who’d say something so offensive. I also explained that by standing by when someone says something racist and not speaking up, you’re just as disgusting as they are. By not saying something you’re suggesting you agree with them. Surprisingly JP agreed with me and went on to say that she’s spoken out against ignorance with her friends from back home bla bla bla but Julia tried to back peddle and say that she thought he was a nice guy and she really wanted to like him. So I asked again, you wanted to like him even though he said something racist? No response.

    To top things off they kept being really vague about the situation and JP kept saying “I don’t really want to get into what was said”. It was all really sketchy. It’s clear that Julia was lying and I really hope this guy calls her out on it. I’m no lawyer but suggesting that he’s racist on Twitter to 60k something followers and later on Spreecast sounds like defamation to me.

    • I interpreted all of that just as you did, & it reminds me of an ex-friend who, like D0nkey, is a pathological liar … ex-friend’s husband, who I used to think was a pretty stand-up guy, now willingly goes along w/ anything she is making up on the spot … OTJ hazard or survival instinct, I haven’t decided.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        Julia Allison isn’t above telling the most horrific lies in order to extricate herself from a sticky situation, even when a lie is completely pointless. And she EXPLOITS conditions to tap into what society justly does not tolerate, whether that be rape or racism. She is truly foul.

    • CDB says:

      I was watching and when TJ (please note that there is only one JP and that is Julia’s Publicist) finally said your name correctly, there was a flash of recognition in Ms. Allison’s eyes. So she knew who your were. It must be tough for her to do these public conversation when she may know that the audience may know the full story. Anyway I thought you handled the spanish interrogation with class and finesse.

      • chesca says:

        hm. I guess I missed that. I wouldn’t be surprised though, I’ve corresponded with her a dozen or so times over the years and I’ve always used my real name. I’m pretty easy to find online. I really make an effort to be respectful even though I disagree with how she presents herself online and now on tv. Mainly because I’ve appreciated it when people have done the same for me. I feel like watching her is homework. anyways, thanks Bob! 🙂

        gah! forgive me REAL JP for using Bravo’s contrived nickname. please don’t bust out the AK Kitty on me!

        • Sake Bombardier says:

          My goodness, have you been lurking all along? I thought you’d left the cat cave with your new-found (and so well deserved) fame. So happy to see you all up in it–watching you handle yourself so well is homework for me!

  18. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    I can’t believe no one has yet brought up my absolute favorite scene. Sex with Emily meets up with a tall woman in a dog park. The two of them are friends because they were having Sex with Gavin Newsome at the same time, i.e., a deep and rich connection. Both Emily and Taller Woman have small dogs, and Taller says she had to take hers to the vet because the dog had pneumonia. She says she was freaking out, because, “If the dog dies, what do I do? Do I throw it away?”

    There’s no way to do justice to her delivery. M Handbag and I both spluttered, then HOWLED. The women of Miss Advised are all from the same wacky, hard, calorie-counting planet.

    • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

      I don’t believe either of them did more than sleep with Gavin Newsom. Give me a break. This is a guy with serious, serious political aspirations and he’s not going to be serious with any woman who is going to make him look bad… like a middle-aged woman who has a radio show centered around dicks and vibrators.

      • Imminent Meltdown says:

        Oh , there you are. Reply down thread.

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        From what I have heard, though, Newsom was a serious skirt-chaser before he got married. Used to hang out in Marina bars picking up women. I’m sure he wouldn’t have gotten serious with them, but the guy did have a rep as a Casanova.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Nothing screams “sex with Emily” like “throwing away my dead dog.”

    • Albie Quirky says:

      That woman was hilarious. She reminded me of Annette Bening’s character is Postcards From the Edge.

      That said, though, what to do with a deceased pet in the city is not simple. When my rabbit died, I called the department of public works and asked what I should do with her (I was renting in a building that had no yard, so the “backyard gravesite” solutions of my childhood weren’t an option).

      The DPW told me to put her body in a box, mark that it was a dead animal, and leave it on the curb with my regular trash collection. This seemed kind of sad but I did as I was told.

      I come home from work and the trash has been picked up, but the large cardboard box that says “Dead Rabbit” on it is still there. I figure someone from Animal Control is coming for it and they got the days mixed up.

      Next morning, it is still there. I go to work, return home, and, yep, still there. I call the DPW again and they assure me someone is coming to pick it up. Two more days pass. On the Thursday, I come home from work and someone has opened the box. Which says “Dead Rabbit” on it. Which has a dead rabbit in it. Someone has cut the many layers of packing tape sealing the box and opened it up. WHY? Did they not fucking believe there was a dead rabbit in there? Did they just want to see a dead rabbit for themselves? A dead rabbit that had been sitting on the curb for several sunny August days?

      Friday morning I called and read the DPW the riot act, and when I came home from work my rabbit was gone.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        That’s a sad story.

        I wonder what the hell they were thinking opening that box. “Dead Rabbit – that’s got to be code for a pound of cocaine, right?”

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        A few years ago my middle child asked for a hamster (and asked and asked) and I relented. Minutes later the hamster was mine, and I became quite attached to her. I set up a big Habitrail on my desk so we could hang out while I worked, and I often carried her around in a shirt pocket, etc. One day while she was running on her wheel I noticed she was wheezing so I took her to an exotic animal vet, where she was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection. I gave her antibiotics out of a tinety eyedropper for days, and she seemed to be getting better. Then one day I was in the kitchen and could hear her wheel, squink squink squink! then squink . . . squink. . . . followed by a thump. When the mister got home that night I asked him to bury her and he put her in a shoebox and left.

        Flash forward to three days later, when I noticed, on our blazing southern breeze, a hint of decomp in the air around the side of the house. I walked out and there was the shoebox. I called Mr. Handbag and said, “So. My dead hamster.” He gasped, apologized, and said HE FORGOT. He carried her out there, got interested in something else, and FORGOT HER CORPSE. So I threw her in the trash. Sometimes you just have to.

      • Donkeycam now! says:

        Animal clinics offer cremation services.

        No idea how much it costs, I have never had to use it yet.

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          It costs about 150 bucks, I think. Both my dogs are cremated and their ashes reside on a shelf. At night we think we can hear them growling at each other. They didn’t get along, in life.

          • bitchface says:

            mine too! I will be buried with them (if my will is respected) or if I change my mind and get cremated, our ashes will be scattered somewhere (hopefully) nice together.

          • Lilly Liberation Front says:

            A lot of times, they also offer communal ashes scattering, for people with money concerns or those who feel weird about keeping ashes.

            Also, many shelters will also take deceased pets. I volunteer at my local shelter, and recently there was a man whose mastiff had just died. They weren’t open yet, but they took the dog, no charge.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I should have thought of that; this was the first pet I ever had die in the city, and she died suddenly at home, so I didn’t think to call the vet about cremation.

        • melting marionette says:

          yes. our beloved blue-point birman was cremated and now resides in a wooden box on the mantelpiece. (sniff, sniff).

          is it disrespectful that we still exercise her occasionally by picking up the box and giving it a gentle shake?


      Emily has made the logical choice of wearing a fox fur vest to the dog park

    • Peltergeist says:

      That scene lingered on the variety of dogs peeing all over the park for way too long.

  19. Donkeycam Now! says:

    My favorite moment of the night was when Donks tried to do an impression of Paula Abdul and her epic meltdown (on her reality TV show) and said, just like Paula, “My life is getting out of control” and tried to cry but only managed to push her puffy cheeks up and not a single tear came out.

    She is such a lousy actress.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      SCREEN GRAB!!!!!!

      Also, another screen grab I would love is when Toilet Julia and Donkey are getting ready for their double dates, Donkey makes THE BEST face!!!!

  20. Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

    Did anyone watch WHL with Andy Cohen? I can’t believe Andy has NOT ONCE mentioned Miss Advised. He’s even talked about Fashion Hunters on What What Happens Live. He literally, to my knowledge at least, never once mentioned that this show even exists.

    • OMGMarried! says:

      He mentioned it on last night’s episode, but said something about “my favorite line from tonight’s episode…” and then quoted something from last week’s. I can’t remember what it was though.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Andy cannot be happy – b/c of Miss Advised’s shitty ratings (I can only imagine last night’s are worse) – his ratings are definitely taking a hit.

  21. SchemeyNutButter says:

    The woman who JABa blocked on twitter and then offered to meet in NY has posted her recap on The Frisky.

  22. Peltergeist says:

    The Elle thing annoyed me on many levels. I know it was all set-up, but what a stupid, juvenile idea for a “column” that would never fly IRL — and the title! Cringe. This is Cosmo level stuff at best. But did anybody notice she casually mentioned something like, “I’ll go to a tea reader, etc etc, I’ll even talk to my ex boyfriends if I have to” and said that last part with way too much glee? She was trying to cringe or roll her eyes but her whole face lit up.

  23. Worrisome Pelts says:

    Captcha: kill time


  24. Peltergeist says:

    I have a gif request (or are they still “cinemagraphs”??). Can someone please, please, please make one of Julie darting off and running around in a circle on the beach? It was such a Three Stooges midget trainwreck.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      seconded. Any gif! Anything!

      • SchemeyNutButter says:

        Would love to but I can’t for the life of me find a copy online anywhere. I can’t retrieve a copy from Apple because I don’t have (and never will have) a credit card with a US billing address.

    • Fashion Girl says:

      That image from behind in the tennis skirt with the too small velour hoodie completely negated the value of every fauxtoshoot she’s ever commissioned. Girl, this is why the RHONY are pros, and you are strictly amateur hour. The Countess would have worn some damn heels and a sarong on the beach – better to totter around than to look stocky on national television. (Not that it would be possible for the Countess to look stocky, but you know what I’m saying.)

      Preshentation is her speciality, ya’ll.

  25. flatface says:

    Question: why are the majority of people tweeting about JA (the ones she rt’s especially ) young women with between a dozen and a hundred followers? They all look like new-ish twitter accounts… and have no followers and few tweets.

    Julia’s big with the just-got-to-twitter crowd? Looks a little fake to me…

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Maybe she set them up to seem like she is popular, sounds like a Donkey, she has nothing else to do.

    • mule on rouge says:

      I checked the Bravo message board last week, and there were a couple of gushy comments — from brand new accounts. One of them apparently signed up at 2:30 am or so, just to make a supportive comment. Oh, honey.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Busted face Donkey is busted.

      • flatface says:

        And there were like 12 of them total, for both episodes. Christ I used to get more comment son stories I wrote for the local paper about the zoning board. No one is watching.

        I give it two more episodes.

        When do the Olympics start? I

  26. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    Oh my GAWD she’s SO MUCH WORSE than last week.

    If the rumors about her being on “best behavior” early on are true, then holy shit the next 6 episodes should be redonklulous (assuming they make it to air).

    She’s just a fucking mess. A complete and total fucking mess. The black guy was so clearly REPULSED by her, even though everything about this show is fake.

    INCLUDING HER STUPID COLUMN. Oh the brayge this gives me. The brayge! The nonsense about Elle being her dream job, and being a perfectionist of a writer, and on shut. the. fuck. up.

    And Bald Julia thinks Crazy Retarded Julia is a joke.

    • JFA says:

      I was just telling a coworker who knows dick about this show…about how she just shut her new boss down on a deadline at least 2 days in advance…because she had to pack. Great job asshole. You just ensured you are unemployable to anyone who has the misfortune to watch this (and hasn’t googled you before).

      I still feel sorry for her parents. She’s a nightmare and they will be bankrolling her until she lands the wallet of her dreams. Which will be never.

      • JFA says:

        I only watched clips so far. I also loved the part about how she is going to “go to super experts” or whatever to find out “what is wrong with her” that she is still single. And a brililant idea is a shaman. Oh honey, oh, no.

        She thinks her problems will be solved by a shaman. Please ponder that.

        • Dyspeptic says:

          And he gave her smudge pots to burn in the condo. Which she did. Ponder that, too.

      • donkolnikov says:

        HE WAS ONLY ASKING FOR A DRAFT! Of a short column! About herself! No research! Her favorite topic!

        She is so dramatic and self-obsessed.

        • JFA says:

          So totally embarrassing. She starts crying because a job she ALREADY HAS is asking her for “ideas.”. I mean just so unbelievably embarrassing and incompetent. “I put so much pressure on myself!!”. It’s a column about dating you Fucktard. She is literally the worst. The absolute worst.

          • JFA says:

            I am trying SO HARD not to poke a donkey, but it’s taking so much willpower to not email her to ask her how she is not just totally ashamed of herself. It makes me angry. All the opportunities she has thrown her way and she is the biggest incompetent piece of lazy shit I have ever encountered.

            Good luck getting employed ever, ever again asshole.

    • Peltergeist says:

      I’m “enjoying” watching this show of course, but everything about it is terrible. The characters, the plots, the whining, the fakeness, the editing, all of it. They even seem to have changed the premise — after two episodes! — from “Look at the experts’ unlucky love lives” to “Check out these three idiot hags! Laugh with the producers!” This is really just bad theater.

  27. i.just.cant! says:

    it’s amazing to me how cool and collected JP is compared to our lady donk. she was answering questions on that spreecast honestly while juliar had this constant look of fear in her eyes. i’m probably always going to have sympathy for donkey’s friends and to the ones who are still nice to her (ie randi) because they’re so naive and want so badly to believe that there’s some semblance of good in julia. donkey is so incredibly insecure that she feels she has to talk to JP’s trainer/date/whatever in this sexually aggressive way. it’s rude, off-putting, and disrespectful but JP doesn’t realize it because eh, maybe donkey is just being ‘friendly?’ ugh.

    well anyway, next episode looks promising. “THEY CALL ME DONKEY!” yep. DONKEY. xx.

  28. flatface says:

    It’s also so obvious TJ is over BJ. Ok, maybe she already had plans to be in NYC this week. But obviously that means whatever it was she thought was more fun/important than being home to do a sit-down thing with Julia (remember when they had tests in MDR, with broadcast equipment because they were planning some web-based show?).

    Also, she’s at a party and I’m doubting it was really a viewing party. When TJ called her friends over to say hi to BJ, they just kind of walked through, smiled and waved. These were not people who thought they had front row seats to some crazy new hit tv show. Nobody was thinking they were gonna get their 15 minutes of fame. And nobody wanted to talked to BJ.

    The looks on TJ’s face during the repeated instances when BJ was asking her to take blame for something, or to tell what really happed were hilarious. Half the time TJ didn’t know what BJ was talking about ( “Um, I don’t remember what you were crying about”), and half the time the look clearly said BJ was either making shit up – which seemed to shock TJ – or breaking some sort of Bravo rule (“oh, did they edit that way?)


  29. Imminent Meltdown says:

    O/T To the Catladies who wondered about Emily’s Friend Ruby upthread …
    If she is Ruby Rippey-Tourk, then yes, she was sleeping with Gavin Newsom.
    I wouldn’t call it dating, as she was part of his staff and married to his campaign manager at the time. Apparently when they were found out the rest of his staff transfered to her their paid leave so she could go to rehab. Then Jennifer Newsome started a firestorm on SFist, saying it was all Ruby’s fault.

    Gavin has quite the reputation. Look up his affaire with Brittanie Mountz.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Oh my god, THAT was the woman in that unseemly Newsome staff scandal? So completely perfect that she surfaces now on a tacky reality show, reliving it for the camera.

  30. bitchface says:

    Come ON Julia Allison Baugher.

    If THIS is your grand revelation at age 31 after ALL the shit you’ve pulled, you have no hope. None. ZERO hope.

    “I try to deny it, but the realization slowly sinks over me: I do have a propensity toward drama. And it now occurs to me (duh) that it’s within my control to stop it.”


  31. JFA says:

    I can’t anymore. Seriously. I just was on her FB because yes I am THAT BORED, and she “liked” a comment by some terrible sycophant who says that he fast forwarded the parts of the show featuring the other ladies because they “suck.” I perused a few of her columns on Elle and they are SO BAD. Shei s just the WORST. My brayge is off the charts level today. I need my first ciggie.

    • The Final Rose says:

      If it helps calm the brayge (and I get it – I had to sit on my hands to keep from poking the donkey on Twitter last night when she threw yet another paid actor under the bus), console yourself with this – Donkey posts about the show, her column, etc. on Facebook and gets 5-10 half-hearted like from the fans in the Stans. TJ posts about how funny and awkward the episode is and has seven comments almost immediately. Donkey must be in the throes of an epic meltdown in MDR this week.

  32. Donkeycam Now! says:

    I kant either, the canklehausen is killing me.

    Emily is the only one that is half-interesting in that show. Donks is crazy and a lousy actress and Amy is just sad sad sad.

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