UPDATED: Julia Allison Hasn’t Even Begun to Unleash Her Freak The Fuck Out Donkey

Well, what do you know? I woke up in a happy mood with many, many, many little birdies singing at my window. They had stories to share! The short version? Julia Allison, fucked face, is fucked.

One wanted to shed light on Julia’s recent appearance on the Chicago Fox affiliate’s morning show. If you think that was an appearance set up by Bravo’s publicity machine, you would be sorely mistaken. Julia set it up, apparently to impress family and friends who attended her meemaw’s memorial. She thought, and I don’t know why she would, that they would be roundly impressed by her hustling in her time of grief. And apparently, she was not amused when family (yes, I said family) and friends told her that her timing and attention seeking were beyond crass. Yes, the Baugher clan is disgusted by our Donkey. Lord knows how Robin and Pettigrew will react once the show premieres, because boy is it going to be a doozy.

You might have read that Julia’s dates on Miss Advised were set up by LA-based RR Casting. The victims who were wrangled in to date a maniacal donkey were found on Craigslist, and not under “Casual Encounters,” as you would presume. No, casting notices were posted under the “TV/Film/Video” section. And indeed the first episode features a man who Donkey says she found on the online classified site. What you don’t know is that, despite knowing these dates were completely set up, she actually thought that the men who were paid to appear on her show would be floored by her remarkable beauty and whimsical personality. And when, as expected, these men recoiled in horror, Julia unleashed her inner rage beast. In fact, we know of one man, who calls Julia “Falsies” still cowers in the fetal position in the corner of her bedroom at night. Apparently, going on a date with our donkey is THAT much of a traumatic experience.

Let me see. . . what else? Oh, yeah! I, here and now, want to push the kibosh in the completely rude suggestion that Julia has deformed her face with injectables. According to sources, Julia claims that she only gets “touch-ups.” What I want to know is, what are they touching her up with? The Space Needle?

I mean, seriously. LOOK AT HER FUCKED UP FACE!

Anyway, this has been mentioned before, but someone in the reality television show industry wanted to reiterate that it is difficult to film someone who is unemployed, and yes, you media parrots, despite what Julia says, she is unemployed. You would think that filming someone who farts around on a couch all day can make interesting television. Apparently it doesn’t. Which made filming Julia’s story arc (How can I put this delicately?). . . difficult. Indeed, what more than a few little birdies have been telling me is that our dear, deformed donkey was the most difficult of the three during filming. She thought her call time was merely a suggestion and would leave the crew waiting for hours. Julia, we’re hearing, was so unprofessional and difficult to work with that she may be blackballed. Are you surprised?

Not that Julia has anything to worry about. Some sources doubt she will ever want to be on a reality show ever again after the show premieres. Let me just say this now: her portrayal is vicious. Sources fully expect her to file a lawsuit once she sees all the episodes. (She hasn’t seen the entire show yet.) It must be a shame that she signed that draconian contract, because it will be a lawsuit she will never, ever, in the land of ever win.

So what do we have to look forward to? Well, according to one source, the leaks we have been getting regarding Miss Advised are about to turn into a full force deluge. (Apparently they love us.) Once the show airs, leaks will be considered “behind-the-scenes sneak peeks!”

Finally, I have been instructed by another source to pay close attention to the show’s credits. She/he wouldn’t say why, but the part that lists who gets thanked/who provided promotional support and services would greatly embarrass our donkey.

Who’s popping popcorn?

UPDATE: Just to give you an idea of how contrived this show will be and how Julia mistook filming this show as real life despite its contrivances, this is one of the men she went on a date with while filming this show:

His name is Keith Pollock and he works at Elle, the same place the production company arranged for Julia to have a column:

Oh, and he’s gay:

Whoops!

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467 Responses to UPDATED: Julia Allison Hasn’t Even Begun to Unleash Her Freak The Fuck Out Donkey

  1. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    STUNNED SILENCE, DROPS PHONE!

    You sir, are on fire. The space needle made me do a coffee spit take! I die and yet, I come back to life to bow down to you and die again!

    • CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

      I hate that we can’t like anymore because I would be liking the hell out of this. JP certainly is on fire. The drama button got me. Brilliant.

  2. Moonshinedonkey says:

    Santa Claus is coming to town!!!!!!! Lalalalala!

    What a dumb donkey brain.

  3. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    PS, is anyone in LA hosting this tragedy?

  4. Worrisome Pelts says:

    Hahahahaha! I can’t wait to see those credits! My guess: everything Julia has done or pretended to buy in the last 8 months or so was courtesy of the show’s sponsors. That or they list a Lead Donkey Trainer.

  5. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    So many juicy details to parse! I did think the Chicago TV appearance was odd because I thought it might be too small of an appearance for Bravo to set up but since they did have clips, I thought maybe someone at Bravo did Donkey a solid. (Unless she just had them pull clips from the internet and didn’t even have the show do clearance from Bravo – which – LOL – desperate, gurl).

    She is gross, gross, gross, a very tacky Donkey and I am glad she got called out but should any of them REALLY be surprised?

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      I would guess that Bravo provided whatever the tv station asked for. Why turn down free publicity? But the whole setup was obviously Donkey trying to show what kind of clout she has in Chicago media. Sadface

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        Ehhh. The world doesn’t have to stop for a memorial service but I suspect it wasn’t doing the show that was crass but how she handled it. i.e. talked about her appearance non-stop

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          Exactly. It’s not hard to imagine her family would be upset if she made her presence at the memorial sound like a convenient stop on her publicity tour.

  6. Braying me softly says:

    GOD I love when Christmas comes early. Spot on, JP. Spot. Fucking. On.

  7. ceeza says:

    She really has become my own sort of bizarro ‘Truman Show’.. Except I’m rooting for her.. I really want to know how her story ends .. Like say 1 year from now what could she possibly be doing with herself? She’s scorched the earth of all her opportunities.. Opportunities she never even deserved in the first place..

    • ceeza says:

      *I’m NOT rooting for her

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      She’ll be doing the same thing, Lover! Lather, rinse, repeat – being fired, burning bridges, screwing up opportunities, settling scores, wrecking friendships, sending emails to exes, ruining relationships, shooting plastic into her face!

      • ceeza says:

        You’re probably right but in what city? Her lease is breakable.. I simply can’t see her gaiting around Marina Del Ray a year from now. Can’t see her living solo in Hollywood either because there is no way Price sticks around after the show ends.. Price seems to be making new friends and assimilating into the wannabe LA musician/hipster/event scene slowly but surely.. She’s doing so without donkey which is why I speculate donkey took a swipe at her yesterday(she’s feeling left out)… There are no more big cities left for donkey to pollinate with her lies and crazy.. So where does she go? I must know..

        • Dyspeptic says:

          She’s gonna try for the Bay Area one last time, even though the Randi bridge is burned. Mark my words.

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            I 100% agree.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Agreed. She thinks it’s her best shot at a husband. But HOW WILL SHE FAKE SUPPORTING HERSELF? At least with the Bravo show, now everyone knows her rent was paid for, etc. I’m also convinced that they needed her to have a roommate because of the lack of job. There had to be something she could interact with besides her dog. Question–not that the show is over, does Bravo keep paying the rent?

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            No, they cut her off the second production stopped. Which is only based on my experience with these things, not anything I know to be sure.

            Productions are notoriously cheap and they probably only gave her a stipend – $1,000 a month. If that – they didn’t have to pay for Emily or Amy’s rent so why give a Donkey a bunch of money?

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            At this point, she is unhirable. Even if in some corner of the universe she is viewed as provocative, her entitlement, poor work ethic, and utter lack of talent has earned her a place in the What The Fuck Is Wrong With You hall of fame. I really don’t think anyone has any more use for the Julia Allison’s of the world. Her family has to know this. I smell an intervention.

          • Who do you think you are? says:

            So many typos! But at least I’m not a Donkey.

          • There’s always Dubai.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            @Pink Palatian: cut to Julia exclaiming, while in Dubai, “My life is just like Sex and the City…the second movie!”

          • Expiration date's expiration date (PP) says:

            Donkey in Dubai: Eclectic Bugaboo!

            Wonder if Prom King will be in town on business?

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            She’ll always have the ‘Stans.

        • I predict that before Season Only of Miss Advised even ends, [1] Mom$er & Dad$er will quietly leave Willmette in the middle of the night for a random retirement villa in Florida, & [2] shortly thereafter, Donkey will follow with her pelted tail between her back legs.

          Exactly which city in Florida, you ask? Well, that’s the consummate game of Pin The Smell on The Donkey & for that, we shall just have to let it unfold

          STAY TUNED!

        • virgil reid says:

          i wonder the same thing. i really can’t wrap my head around what it must be like to have no where to go, literally. she has no job, no real friends, and she looks down on moving to chicago and getting a real job.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            It reminds me of when she tweeted that article that was about how men these days expect the women they date to work/earn money and she was all like “is this true?” to her twitter readers. Like she was shocked.

          • mule on rouge says:

            Julesy only thinks in stereotypes. She’s still clinging to the notion that geeks are lonely, socially awkward guys who can’t get dates, and all she has to do is show up and look pretty. Maybe that worked in high school, when she was the Sweetheart of the Debate Team or whatever.

          • Jack the Bulldog says:

            Men want a companion, someone willing to pull his or her own weight and contribute to a relationship: financially, intellectually, emotionally. Even a tech nerd like J.Lo realized the error of his ways and got out of there quickly and is now happily married to a woman who seems smart, talented, a good friend. The Tale of BoBo, The No-Good Donkey will not end happily.

          • Lily's 3rd Eye says:

            Dallas! Houston! Kansas City! Flyover JA!

        • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

          While Julia didn’t exactly fit into NYC, and definitely doesn’t fit into LA (or even the say Marina del Rey version of it), she is going to be such a MISFIT in San Francisco. Oh my God. The city’s aesthetic, values, culture — absolutely everything — clashes with those of a Donkey. Oh man. I almost can’t wait. It’s going to be incredible.

    • mule on rouge says:

      I’ve been wondering if I will lose interest in watching the Trudonk show, once Miss Advised ends. My curiosity about what she’s like in “real” life will finally be satisfied. She won’t be able to snag any more undeserved opportunities by claiming to be OMG Internet Famous. When Julia Allison Baugher unwittingly exposes herself as a total fraud on Bravo’s Miss Advised, will our mission here be done?

      • KashMoney says:

        you’re forgetting the post-show, no phone calls, no one to talk to, no roommate meltdowns.

        plus, her family is on to her.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        That’s what I’m thinking, but then I thought my interest would wane the minute she left New York with her tail in between in her legs, and look at all the psychotic cray cray that has happened since then.

      • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

        She will never stop over sharing on the Internet. There will be material for as long as you want to follow it.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        While I am inclined to to believe this one of Donkey’s greatest trick is to rise from her own ashes. Of course, this isn’t in some inspiring or empowering way like a phoenix. She’s more like a cockroach after the nuclear apocalypse. I just don’t think the show ill be the end of her antics. Sure she will sink even lower, but I suspect there will be more to come.

  8. Pelts Off the Charts says:

    OMG i am popping the popcorn and vacuuming the cat hair off the couch! is anyone in the NY area getting together for the premiere?

    JP and Jacy you are the best!!!

    • Dyspeptic says:

      And Jacy, wherever you are off to (hope it’s vacation), have a great time. You’ll be in our wizened little hearts.

    • mule on rouge says:

      Fun fact: popcorn is the official state snack food of Illinois.

    • I’m wondering the same thing; the place I’m staying is without cable — anyone having a viewing party?

    • Lily's 3rd Eye says:

      I dont have cable but I would bring the fuck out of some fine food and drink to a NYC/ Brooklyn viewing party!

  9. anon says:

    I totally buy all of this. They are already making Donk look crazy in the previews.

    Did anyone watch this video? http://www.bravotv.com/miss-advised/season-1/videos/its-a-strange-job-but-someones-got-to-do-it

    Right after Amy Laurent says, “Love makes people temporarily insane,” they cut to a shot of Donkey hee-hawing/cackling while pretending to surf on the ground in her old prom dress. Bravo knows what they’re doing.

  10. Donkey of Perdition says:

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/f0unV.gif[/img]

  11. Falsies says:

    Making a very rare comment to say 1) I’m claiming “Falsies” and 2) This is one of the best RBD posts ever, in my humble opinion. JP, you’re a god.

    • krakenskulls says:

      By falsies he meant cutlets right? Where are we at with that? Did she get tits, remove em, or whats going on there. not that i care.

  12. Julia's Crypt Keeper says:

    The Oprah show would have been a cake walk for Julia..whoops

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Right? Because Oprah has some dignity and standards and probably would back off exploiting the mentally challenged.

      Oh, Donkey.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      But the problem was that Julia couldn’t rig that show to make it out for her to win.

    • Factory Seconds says:

      Yeah, but that one was supposed to be a competition, right? She wouldn’t have the drive to succeed in it and it wouldn’t play on camera well. She would’ve been eliminated almost immediately.

      Or is that not how that show was supposed to work? My brain is fuzzy on that matter.

  13. Princess Sparklefart (tm jp) says:

    Commenter formally known as missparklecupcake here… Apologies if this has been shared before, but ouch!

    http://www.medialifemagazine.com/miss-advised-worthy-of-a-second-date/

    • anon says:

      Great find! Looks like she’s still trying to sell the whole “I only have sex after 11 dates” myth.

      Upon arriving in L.A., Allison gets a call from a man she got to know through Craigslist — “not on that part of Craiglist,” she says. They go out to dinner, and she soon realizes that he matches few of the 73 items she has listed that describe her ideal man.

      Nonetheless, she allows him to come by the next day to help her unpack boxes. She at least feels guilty about this.

      “He’s just the sort of nice guy I would normally go on 11 dates with,” Allison tells the camera, “and then fake an orgasm with and then have to date for the next six months, and then finally he decides to break up with me, and he hates me, and I cry because I wasted six months of my life, and I just don’t want to do that.”

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      Did no legitimate press want to write about this show??? Given how much online space there is, this show is getting zero press.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        Do a google news search for Miss Advised for the last week and then laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

        • Whitleymariongilbertwaynemeetsscarysadshaw says:

          I even called into Derek and Romaine (the best show on Sirius!) and asked their Huff Post Tv critic about it and even SHE hadn’t been able to muster up the effort to watch her screener yet. People that are paid to watch TV can’t even watch Le Donk.

  14. Donkey of Perdition says:

    “Let me just say this now: her portrayal is vicious.” WOW. Let me say that again, just so we’re clear. WOW.

  15. I would just like to take this opportunity to welcome Julia Allison Baugher’s extended (& blended!) family to our sad sort of adult community of basement dwelling fatties where, contrary to urban legend, cats are optional & grammatical ears / heirs / errors are tolerated.

  16. Moonshinedonkey says:

    Ughhh! Why do you catladies and gents want to give ratings to this show??? Let it burn!!! They “love us” because we are their only audience. The industry sleeps on both sides, don’t forget!

    • Holly O says:

      FWIW, I’m pretty sure watching the show won’t contribute to its ratings unless you’re in one of the 5000 or so households with a ratings meter.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Exactly. We’re safe.

        By the way, The Bachelorette airs that night and it has won it’s time slot every week and posted nearly 20% gains last week – that is what women will be watching Monday night – not the Donkey show.

        Miss Advised #non-ad

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yep. This is why I will be watching it. When we had a Nielsen box, we used to go to other people’s houses to hate-watch!

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          I have a scanner to track my purchases for Nielsen’s National Consumer Panel, but certain items magically disappear when it’s time to record things. Anonymous or not, there are some things that don’t bear sharing. Having a tv box would totally change my habits.

    • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

      And honestly, I really don’t think I will be watching this show. I am not a big television watcher to begin with, and I really can’t stomach contrived reality shows. Plus, it’s timeslot is not convenient for me.

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      I won’t give it ratings. I’ll just watch it on one of those illegal video sites.

  17. Holly O says:

    I’m sorry to OT on such a delicious post, but: fellow catladies, I am venturing out of my Australian basement and heading to the USA in July. If you have any tips for NYC, DC or Boston — or you wouldn’t mind a foreign attendee at your Miss Advised viewing party* in one of those cities — I would really love to know, either here or via holly3000aus (at) gmail (dot) com.

    * I am super excited about watching American teevees. Not even kidding.

    • The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

      NYC – check out the Cloisters, the Met, and the MoMA. One of my favorite things to do is just bring some lunch and hang out in the sculpture garden of the MoMA on a beautiful day – excellent people watching. There’s a halal truck down the street (think it’s on 57th and Ave of the Americas?) that is amazing too. You’ll know which one it is because there’s always a gigantic line.

    • Donkey Expertin says:

      The Highline is lovely, at night especially.

    • There’s a Frommers book called something like New York City Day by Day — it was a lifesaver for me when I came here (NYC) for the first time several years ago. It offers suggested itineraries for one-, two-, and three-day visits, plus specialty itineraries. NYC is so big with so much to do that it really depends on what you like and value as to what you’ll find enjoyable. Also, you can be here forever and not see everything.

      As for things I’ve found enjoyable over the years: St John the Divine, the Paris Theater (for movies, a beautiful and often-overlooked restored movie venue), walking across the Brooklyn Bridge, the Highline, tea at Teany, Shakespeare in the Park, Strawberry Fields, the Natural History Museum, bagels at Murray’s.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        +1 for a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, and over to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. On a hot day it’s fun to take a round trip on the Staten Island ferry and see NY Harbor.

        The Lower East Side Tenement Museum is worthwhile, and you can take a short walk to Katz’s Deli. If you’re interested in NYC cultural history, the Museum of the Chinese in America is also great.

        For art museums, the Frick is amazing and small enough to see in one visit.

        There’s so much in NYC it would help if you narrowed it down a little (like/hate to walk; want/don’t want clubs & music; fancy or cheap restaurants, etc.).

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      As Dr. Bobby said, the Met and MoMA are must sees. I also recommend the Neue Galerie on 95th if you’re into German/Austrian stuff. In terms of museums for DC, I’d check out the Portrait Gallery (a combination art museum/portrait gallery with every presidential portrait) and the American History Smithsonian, the latter of which is especially cool and has a great exhibit of First Ladies china and dresses right now. For food there, Ben’s Chili Bowl is a MUST and you can try to grab the seat Obama sat in. Afterwords Cafe in Dupont Circle is great as well (located in the upstairs of a book store) and Eola (very foodie/expensive but to die for).

      For Boston, I’d make sure to stop in Cambridge across the river and go to Harvard Square. Touristy but I loved the neighborhood when I lived there. There’s a clock tower in downtown Boston that’s a Marriot hotel called the Custom Tower and if you sneakily ride the elevator with a guest (you’ll need a room key to work the buttons) you can go to the observation deck on top and see a spectacular view of the harbor and the whole city. There’s a great restaurant called the Chart House on the Long Wharf nearby (it’s a building that John Hancock used to work in). I’d walk around Beacon Hill a little (you’ll probably smell cat hair and cheetos where I used to live). If you like Longfellow, his house is in Cambridge too and incredibly preserved. Above all, I highly recommend a Freedom Trail walk, whether you lead yourself or get a guide. You’ll see a huge amount and walk away with a ton of information on the Revolution. Granery Cemetery, The Old State House and the Old South Meeting House are the highlights. The MFA on Huntington Avenue also has a great collection and is worth a visit.

      Sorry for the wall of text.

      • Whining Poofy Bore says:

        I’ll second Neue Galerie! One of my favorite in the city. Klimt and Egon Schiele and other delights. Go to the cafe there: Cafe Sabarsky. Have some Klimttorte and Topfentorte. Mmmm.

        • Lily's 3rd Eye says:

          I love that museum- and found secondhand Eurotrash cocaine in a lil ole baggie by the entry there too! That plus Klimpt plus Shiele plus my trashy mowhawked 15 years younger date = super ( sleazy) fun!

      • Expiration date's expiration date (PP) says:

        The Freedom Trail is definitely a Boston “do,” and I also love their Little Italy — it’s charming. The city itself is very walkable and it’s easy to get to Harvard Square via public transit. I took my kitten to Boston & Philly when he graduated 8th grade and by far he loved Boston better, especially the Freedom Trail.

        Also: Boston Commons was nice for a picnic lunch when we went (mid-August), so I imagine it would be fine for July, too.

        • sausage curls/fingers says:

          Yes, the North End is great! Mother Anna’s is a favorite of mine.

          • One Fat Melman says:

            That’s where I live! If coming to the North End, please avoid Mike’s Pastry at all cost – it is a touristy hellhole and Modern Pastry is 1000 times better and just up Hanover from Mike’s.

            However, if you’re into cannolis, definitely go to Cafe Vittoria, right next to Mike’s. I would highly rec getting your treats and then sitting in Christopher Columbus Park on the waterfront (just walk down Richmond from Hanover and you’re there) or heading to the Greenway, at the beginning of Hanover for great views and excellent people watching.

            If you’re looking for places to stay, I would rec either the Omni Parker House, which is cozy, high end, and has a charming old boys club vibe, or the Marriott Longwharf for its location and views.

            Definitely stop by the MFA and if the freedom trail isn’t your thing, then I would suggest a nice walk through Beacon Hill and across the footbridge over Storrow to the Esplanade. Relax, enjoy, and then meander across the river to Harvard Square. Fun fact: Matt Damon’s Finals Club (Harvard’s version of a frat) is halfway down Linden street, a few blocks to the right of the Harvard T stop if you’re facing Harvard and away from the building behind it (which is the bank from the opening scene of the movie “The Town”).

            If you’re interested in visiting any other movie spots, let me know and I can load you up with a whole tour of the city based on that alone.

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            Mother Anna’s is awesome and the family that runs it is very nice.

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      Eatily (great for wine, anti pasti, espresso, chilling), Chelsea Market, PS1 MoMA/Warm Up on Saturdays (great music and contemporary art in Long Island City, Queens–one subway stop out), Strand book store, Pearl River store (fun, cheap stuff in SoHo), Bryant Park (free movies some nights), Governor’s Island) has a great graphic design show and is a great place to picnic/bike), International Center for Photography Museum (Midtown, several photo exhibits up now including Weegee), and, if you are in the East Village around dinner time I just ate at a great newish place, The Goat Inn, 5th St btw A & B aves.

      • Sake Bombardier says:

        Whoops, should have specified NYC, didn’t see the Boston part. Also, PP is right, it all depends on your interests and also what’s easy to get to from your base location.

        And and and, also, in the Bronx (?) Wave Hill Garden is really cool if you’re a gardner, and the Brooklyn Botanical Garden has something now where they recreate Monet paintings with flowers.

    • Holly O says:

      Thank you, shitheads!

      I’m sorry if I was unhelpfully vague (“I’m going to America, tell me all the things!”); I didn’t want to pre-empt any awesome suggestions y’all might have.
      In New York I’ll be in the Lower East Side for a week, but I love to walk and I’m not afraid of complicated public transit routes. I have four full days in DC, staying in Adams Morgan, and Boston is for work (but I’ll have evenings and one weekend for fun). I love history, art and nerdy political stuff so all these suggestions are wonderful. I also want to catch some smaller gigs/theatre if I can.

      I’ve been doing lots of research but there’s a glut of tourist info and it’s so valuable to have a local’s perspective on what is and isn’t worth doing. And yeah, I’m tots aware that there is far more to be seen and done than is possible to get through in a three week trip — especially when I plan to spend so much time watching TV, shopping in chain stores and eating things bigger than my own head.

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        Oh, if you’re staying on the LES: you can watch the humans in Thompkins Sq Park; eat very cheap at The Odessa across from the park; see if anything looks promising at the LaMama theater; visit the Museum at Eldridge St; drink cheaply at Tile Bar (1st & 7th); check out the many tiny gardens the size of building lots (the legacy of arson and unpaid taxes of the 70s); and in general feel like you are contributing the gentrification of a destroyed lower class neighborhood ;-) You’ll probably find a lot of interesting stuff just walking around the LES.

        I would avoid Soho and the meatpacking district unless hordes of middle-American tourists amuse you. If you walk the length of Bleecker, you’ll come to the quiet leafy streets and bankers’ limousines and townhouses of the West Village, and wonder what the hell the writers of the 40s – 60s were talking about. Still, it’s a nice walk.

        • New Year New You says:

          Aw, Odessa has a special place in my blackened heart.

        • Expiration date's expiration date (PP) says:

          I enjoyed the tenement museum and the tour they offer — not a bad way to spend a couple of hours, and the money spent goes to a good cause.

      • melting marionette says:

        antiques garage – 112 west 25th street between 6th and 7th ave, and the williamsburg flea market (sundays).

        don’t be afraid of the subway – it’s actually quite easy once you get the hang of it. streets are east-west configuration, so if you look for the signs that tell you where you’re coming out above ground (NW corner, SW corner, etc.) you’ll walk a maximum of one block in the wrong direction once you exit.

  18. ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

    Magic 8 Ball: Is signing on for a reality show the same as hiring your own personal PR agency?
    A: My sources say no.

  19. Jack the Bulldog says:

    Damn you, JP! I had to read ALL of the juiciness and take it slow. No time for comments or The Daily Thonrey right now. I’m late for hoops at Gold’s and it’s all your faulty, you handsome, irresistible blogger!

  20. A hoofnote RE: TVgasm (remember Nads, who wrote yesterday’s Watercooler: Watch Miss Advised?)

    TVgasm has a podcast called Watch What Crappens where they discuss everything Bravo & who knows if they’ll ever discuss Miss Advised, but for the die hard Real Housewives fans, you guys might like it.

  21. Admiral of the Burro Fleet says:

    I’M HYPERVENTILATING!!

    I’m going to be at a conference Monday and Tuesday of next week and have already consulted the Bravo schedule to ensure that I schedule all my garbage “networking” events in order to catch either the premiere or the midnight rerun back on the hotel TV. I don’t have cable at home, so this was incredibly fortuitous scheduling. See, Julesie? God provides.

  22. Dr. Gary says:

    I can’t fucking wait. Christmas in June!

  23. Lilly Liberation Front (formerly Whackjob of Whimsy) says:

    I KNEW this shitty show would make the last few boring months worth it. This is our moment, fellow basement dwellers! Afghani, polish the thresholds! Brayella, have those exclamation points ready! RRR, your finest tales! JP, the press releases!

  24. The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

    CHRISTMAS. IN. JUNE.

  25. krakenskulls says:

    OK who thinks the Bravo credit surprise is a thank you to rebloggingdonk.com?

    In my dreams they used this site to source info about the target for freeasy and it’s only fair the mention us. What else could embarr[b]ass[/b]?

    Dear Non-Bravo People Involved With The Show,
    Sorry we call all of you involved with the show “Bravo”. You all look alike.
    Sincerely,
    KS (click my name for the origin of my avatar)

  26. Arl says:

    Is Toilet Julia wearing Fat Donkey Julia’s dress in this video? The one she wore to the Morin wedding?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=FP_S6y5BZRI&NR=1

    • krakenskulls says:

      Looks very similar.

    • diluted brain says:

      Possibly since it looks so loose fitting on Toilet Julia while it bursts at the seams when donkey wears it.

    • Well that’s some SWF shitz, eh? Wearing Donkey’s costumes & accessorizing w/ Donkey’s dog, no less. If only Flusher Price would hijack Donkey’s WotD next & write a song that isn’t 97% chorus line ad nauseam.

      Poor little Lilly: her distress is obvious as she looks around, pitifully licking her nose, all the while trapped back there on a shelf too high to jump from.

      • bitchface says:

        I know, wtf??? They pan the camera at Lily and wave in her general direction but they DO NOT PET HER! The damned dog is there just hoping and hoping and hoping for a small human touch (not including being picked up and put on a goddamned shelf as a PROP)…. jesus christ they are both such assholes.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      TJ looks cute in that video. The side part de-emphasizes the fivehead. Also, the dress looks better too big than too small.

  27. ‘… we know of one man, who calls Julia
    “Falsies” still cowers in the fetal position …’

    My guess: said man = Keith Pollock.

  28. Can-Swiss says:

    Awesome post! Can’t wait to see “Thanks to Jacy and JP” in the credits. I wish they were filming her reaction at that point…

  29. Donkey Expertin says:

    1. This post is nothing short of brilliant. Braynk you, JP, for your genius.

    2. I randomly met a fellow cat lady in the wild this week! We IDed each other because we were both covered in cat hair and Cheeto crumbs and cringing at the daylight burning our basement eyes. She was lovely and – like so many of us – had tales of dealing with the Donkey Demon IRL to share. We are the world, we are the children.

    PS – Exponentially Donkey!

  30. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Regarding the UPDATE, my response is:

    CUT DON’T USE THAT!

  31. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    SHUT UP DONKEY, seriously… this is why you’re made fun of…

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Gore spoke the truth. RT @jason_pontin: TV is hard. Gore Vidal said it was “like life, but more so.”

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Maybe she can ask him on a date! (Gore V., I mean.)

      • Edward R. Burro says:

        Dead at laughing at the absurdity of that scenario.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        Well, Gore does prefer hookers. (See Palimpsest–I’d love to stick in a Donkeyesque quote here from Vidal’s memoir but am in transit.)

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      Julia has no fucking idea who Gore Vidal is. She thinks the sound of his name rings important. His fiction is crap, his essays okay, and his memoirs fascinating (except for the last one, which was kinda milking it). Julia probably thinks Carole Radziwell is a actual Radziwell by birth. Julia is fucking dim and pretentious.

  32. Total Jing says:

    Total Jing might have to come back for this shit.

    *pulls up chair*

  33. anon says:

    This is crazy! The more I think about it, is it possible that Keith Pollock wasn’t presented as a date, but instead he played her gay BFF slash coworker (from when he worked for elle.com)?

    Otherwise, that is way contrived…

    • KashMoney says:

      tarot card reading seems very “reality show date” to me.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        I think he is the one who has to deal with her “Where is y husband!??!” braying, and i think she’s in the same Morticia outfit. So, I’m guessing gay sidekick.

  34. KashMoney says:

    [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/5nrfck.jpg[/img]

  35. Jack the Bulldog says:

    Yeah, yeah, lots of snarky intel on RBD, but Emmy winning journalist Kristin Thorne isn’t impressed. She’s about to unleash a big story too, bunnies:

    “See that big gun. That’s a machine gun. They’re illegal in New York state. Big illegal gun bust in Suffolk County. Live at 6!”

  36. mule on rouge says:

    That photo from the update is cracking me up. The look on that dude’s face is priceless.

    What the hell does Julia Allison do to clothes? Her atrocious styling makes Balmain (and/or Balmain knockoffs) look like something from the Star Trek Merry Widows collection.

    • He looks to be in shock … would this be the guy Donkey pummeled w/ her hooves because he wouldn’t kiss her? Probably. Oh damn, now Mom$er is going to have to re-write Donkey’s ‘episode recap’, since we done spilled deh beans.

      • Frequent Liar Miles says:

        I am actually feeling terrible for Robinbogger throughout this. I am convinced that this is why she and A Donkey have been on the outs since before Mother’s Day

  37. ShesJustStupid says:

    The latest. I love that they’re making her keep her hair red.

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    At Estilo Salon in WeHo with my colorist @SylvieLove re-reding & trimming my locks in time for the #MissAdvised premiere this Monday!

    Expand Collapse Reply RetweetedRetweet Delete FavoritedFavorite Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @AzalpYerbua – just choked laughing. “21 Tutus.” LOVE IT.

    View conversation Hide conversation Reply RetweetedRetweet Delete FavoritedFavorite Azalp Yerbua ‏@AzalpYerbua
    @juliaallison I read that you own 21 Tutus, which would be a great title for a ballerina murder mystery or a really bad nightclub.

    Retweeted by Julia Allison
    Expand Collapse Reply RetweetedRetweet Delete FavoritedFavorite

  38. Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison On June 16, 2011, I was hiking Runyon. I’m hiking it again today. One year later, everything has changed. And nothing has changed.

    Yes, your busted face is even more busted … CHANGE!
    Yes, Toph still manages to elude you at Runyon Canyon NO CHANGE!
    And your point is … ?

  39. And Donkey thinks RBD is the only clubhouse laughing at her.
    Heh. Give ‘em a click through to see her links & comments there:

    Spend An Evening With Unfun, Miss Linda, and Julia Allison
    Vapid human muppet and Professor of the Learning Annex Julia Allison has been working very, very hard. At what, I’m not quite sure. But what I do know is, in July, 2008, she was super duper excited about her reality television show. What’s that you say? It’s 2012? Oh, ha, yeah, well, reality television shows are really complicated.

    But behold! On Monday, June 18th at 10 p.m., Julia Allison’s opus Miss Advised will premiere on the Bravo channel, and Unfun and I will be there to mock the living daylights out of it. We are teaming up to give Julia Allison the recognition she so richly deserves by hosting something between a liveblog and a commenting free-for-all. Honestly, I’m not quite sure how this works. We will be in the same room together, so typing to each other seems weird and antisocial. *Gasp!* We may be the embodiment of nonsociety! Naturally, the evening will be assisted by copious amounts of alcohol.

    Please join us at Wordsmoker Monday night at 10 p.m. with your scathing commentary. Afterwards, I will forward our collective oeuvre to Ms. Allison via the Twitters because I think deep down, she really kind of misses us.

    • mule on rouge says:

      Oh boy! I might have to keep a second tab open to watch the bitchy fun at wordsmoker. Hell, I might even dust off my Gawker handle and use it to comment over there. I was already planning to resurrect a few of my old RBNS user names that night, for old times’ sake.

    • SS;SF: Just realized that my use of ‘her’ in the 2nd sentence is misleading … not ‘her’ as in Donkey, rather ‘her’ as in the author of the article.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      honorary fucking catpeeps. I just say.

    • AFGHANI'S ROMANTIC OYSTER N CHAMPAGNE SHACK says:

      Awesome.

  40. Imminent Meltdown says:

    Hey JP thanks for the brilliant post

    I am a little confused though. Dr Gary caught some MissAdvised clips that Donkey had
    posted, then deleted on Facebook (6.14.12 – We’re Back)
    Why was Allie Baugher “liking” them?

  41. ceeza says:

    Was there a launch party with the entire cast, guests, and friends or did I miss it? If yes are there pictures?

  42. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Hm, I guess Ryan Basford got tired of sitting by the phone waiting for Julia’s call:

    @RyanBasford: Pool party with @misscjgibson! http://lockerz.com/s/217764306

    Ryan, your towel is draping kinda funny there.

  43. Random Snowflake says:

    OMFG.. Contrived dates with gay men who work for a partner in the show? This is good stuff, but not at all unexpected.

    One of you crazy hateful basement-dwelling bitches better record this fiasco and upload it where those of us who are too sad and hateful to have cable T.V. can watch it.

      • But isn’t Torrent all about transferring files of pirated copyright material? The insinuation that everyone is into that sort of baughles my mind, & I’m quite alright w/ remaining blissfully unaware of the details of “the scene”, as KS so sanctimoniously puts it …

        FROM WIKIPEDIA: “More than 200,000 people have been sued since 2010 for transferring copyrighted materials on the BitTorrent network.”

        • Barking Mad says:

          True, but not so much outside of the US. There are comments following with other suggestions as well.

          I assumed that anyone able to figure out how to use it is aware of what they are doing. Grown-ass adults.

          • I’m sensing you getting defensive … no need, cuz I don’t have that many fucks to give, actually.

            So what if my own personal script for ‘grown-ass adult’ is based on paying for shit or doing w/out, rather than investing time in the learning curve to both skirt the law & dodge malware? To each his own, no judgement in the basement, right?

            But you ought to admit that it’s ironic, if not downright hypocritical, that everyone here on RBD calls out Julia Allison for her free-loading ways & at the same time here it is on RBD: somewhat of a primer on how to watch pirated Bravo episodes of Julia Allison if you just can’t wait ’til Bravo is hosting that shit show for free.

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            How is freeloading via torrent different than someone here uploading it for you? Either way you get to watch cable for free.

          • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

            Just watch it on Bravo.com the next day, then.

            For those in the EU who will likely be blocked from watching online, torrent it.

            M’kay?

          • I guess I’m making it convoluted, Sake, but not intentionally, & I hope this makes better sense:

            My point was that KS’ comment in the other thread conveyed his exasperation that everyone isn’t up to speed on how & where to get stuff for free that other people pay for — I didn’t perceive that people were asking how to get it for free, but more so that they assumed it’s like no-charge youtube videos & they just don’t yet know where to find ‘em.

            When I’d followed a link someone posted here once before to watch that movie ‘yada yada Kevin yada yada’ everyone was talking about (& even paid to register to the site, so I initially thought it was legit) it eventually dawned on me that the quality of the movie was on par w/ something surreptitiously videoed in a walk-in theater, & I’d wished I hadn’t stumbled in there. Ignorance on my part. It was only a minor hassle to cancel the recurring paypal pymt I’d set up & I didn’t end up w/ crap on my computer that Avast couldn’t ultimately scrub, but I would have avoided it entirely if I’d known it was a host site for pirated movies, because for me, it’s just not worth it.

        • KrakenSkulls says:

          People don’t get sued for downloading TV rips. They get sued for movies and music. Let’s go over some aspects of watching the show if you don’t have cable or live in the US.

          First off, people in New York are going to be watching before the rest of us. The people that rip TV shows to a playable file for your amusement are ripping and encoding that episode at the same time (EST), so unless there is a leak, the earliest you could expect a torrent is an hour or so after that. Live blogging the show is pretty pointless since most of the audience isn’t watching at the same moment and the whole thing would be spoilers.

          Second, posting a direct link to a file on this site wouldn’t be wise since it implicates the site as facilitators of pirating. You could post a link to the torrent tracking site where a link is tho.

          But really, your best option is to safeguard your privacy and peace of mind is to watch the show the next day on Bravo’s site.

          • If TV shows are expensive to produce & the profit margin is already low, & then potential revenue is lost because adverts have been stripped from illegally shared files, well, I’m not one to assume that suing would never happen just because it hasn’t happened for that particular media type as of yet. First time for everything & all that jazz, ya know? I do think it would hinge moreso on who is legally authorized to distribute the media.

            I did look at the online TV guide for my area & the show airs here at 9:00 CST; funny to me is that one person tagged that they’d be watching it, & I wondered if it was WP :-)

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            I didn’t tag, nor will I be watching. I got hit with one of my periodic waves of severe Donk aversion this evening. I may take a break until the intense disgust gives way to mild amusement again.

  44. Julia's Crypt Keeper says:

    Predict the City Donkey will, cough cough, run to and hide:

    1. Chicago condo
    2. Rockford, IL
    3. LaughingMoonBay, Ca
    4 Jersey City, NJ
    5 Gardner Island, NY

    winner gets lots a bags of cheetos

    • Miss assvice says:

      She will have no choice about moving back to the omg condo.

      She is shame banned from Laughing Moon Bay, Ca aka Half Moon Bay after almost causing a divorce years ago.

      No way dadsers will fund an east coast living situation after the shit show embarrasses him.

      My prediction is that she will have to move back to the OMG condo and get a real job with real desk errands.

      No way in fracking hell is some man going to marry her after this train wreck.
      This show will send any man that is rich and well connected running far away from her. Which are the main points of her 73 point check list. She screwed herself over and now she will have to live with the consequences Foreveralone.jpg

      • Not! Random! says:

        Oooh, do tell more about this shame-banning. (I am nearing completion of my Ph.D in Donkology, but this is the first I’ve heard of it, and I’m worried it will be on my orals.)

        • Miss assvice says:

          It should be in the section of her making out with a married man at SXSW.

        • AFGHANI'S ROMANTIC OYSTER N CHAMPAGNE SHACK says:

          Robert Scoble lives in Half Moon Bay, CA. He edits Building41 last time I checked.

          • bitchface says:

            serious VOM in the shower every time I think of that lumpy fat ass

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            I always forget who this guy is, and whenever his name comes up here I do a quick Google image search. And each time I see that Julia has absolutely no standards.

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      Bay area via Chicago.

    • Get a Stylist says:

      Jersey City for the win. She’d hate it here.

  45. Meet the Miss Advised star and author of Guinea Pig of Love

    ‘… Allison co-founded and ran a tech/media business for three years, regularly serves as an advisor to Silicon Valley start-ups, and has spoken at MIT, Wharton, Harvard, and at conferences around the world on new media, personal branding, marketing, and entrepreneurship. … Her father is still waiting for her to get a “real job” with health insurance.’

    So … who pulled Guinea Pig of Love out of RBD, Donkey or Bravo?
    [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/514×87.png[/img]

    • Cut. Don't use that. says:

      EVERYTHING IN THIS PIECE IS A LIE – (even the fucking bad joke about deep dish pizza).

      Julia Baugher is ALWAYS lying about EVERYTHING. Every. Little. Fucking. Goddam. Thing. Always.

      It has to be so exhausting and horrible to live her life.

      • I swear to dog I am not literally double-posting (I just noticed there are two of the same thing, again).

      • Dyspeptic says:

        I shouldn’t be amazed at this point, after following the lies for years. But I find myself amazed anyway. The thing I really don’t know–and which fascinates me–is whether Julia Allison actually believes this hogwash resume or deep down inside knows it’s bogus, and that she is a fraud. Presentation and perception indeed.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          She knows it. When she gets called out she just makes up more lies – that person didn’t do their research, it was a typo, it’s an outdated resume!

          • But, word-for-word, it’s the same as the Bravo bio – she either wrote that or she spoon-fed them the info; it’s not like she couldn’t find Bravo to make corrections, not when they were coming right to her home over the course of how many months?

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Would you people quit ringing me?! I am trying to go to sleep!

  46. Meet the Miss Advised star and author of Guinea Pig of Love

    ‘… Allison co-founded and ran a tech/media business for three years, regularly serves as an advisor to Silicon Valley start-ups, and has spoken at MIT, Wharton, Harvard, and at conferences around the world on new media, personal branding, marketing, and entrepreneurship. … Her father is still waiting for her to get a “real job” with health insurance.’

    So … who pulled Guinea Pig of Love out of RBD, Donkey or Bravo?
    [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/514×87.png[/img]

    • Huh? Let’s try that again ….
      [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/514×87.jpg[/img]

    • diluted brain says:

      The line of her father waiting for her to get a real job is quite tiring in her thirties. It’s not funny or cute.

      I just looked at her fb page and you have to love that she made her job “on-air personality at Bravo!” – like is she kidding? She’s such a loser.

    • anon says:

      [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/2gvr6gw.jpg[/img]

      • monster (Single and Mingle) says:

        So I guess Elle can’t be bothered to edit her:

        “… lived in New York for six years, then headed back to Chicago for a year of eating deep dish pizza before she moved to L.A., where she is probably as you read stuck in traffic”

        brutal.

        • pearipathetic donkey says:

          Ah yes, Chicago’s famous deep dish gluten free pizza. Also, she is all about stereotypes. Chicago pizza, LA traffic, ugh when is she gonna stop?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Lou Malnatti’s deep dish gluten free pizza (with a sausage crust) is excellent, but you have to remember to get extra cheese because they don’t put enough cheese on the regular.

      • Wtf is right says:

        No photo credit to Monica Whatserface.

        • SchiapWTF says:

          Won’t The Bravo PR team be upset she’s using a dark-haired photo to promote a show in which she is a redhead? After all I assume they are the ones requiring her to keep auburn Donkey locks. Um, errr, oops?

          • I wonder if Elle required a ‘right to use’ for legal purposes & since this fauxto is from the TMS PR stunt that Julia Allison herself coordinated & Dad$er paid for, it’s the only one she has a valid copyright to?

          • Factory Seconds says:

            From all the clips I’ve seen from the show, she seems to start as a very fresh redhead and it quickly returns to the natural brown color.

        • Can-Swiss says:

          That photo is so terribly photoshopped. Jesus, her face doesn’t have a single pore and her arms have been taken in.

      • FIEIRCE Mani(pedi) says:

        All of the lying! My dog!!! It makes me wonder how much other “getting to know” or “about” of other reality types are made up. Also “advisor to tech start ups”… LOL See her latest tweet where she can’t even figure out how to upload a document. Ugh my canklehousen is raging. And one more thing. Did she really speak at MIT?? OR was that a photo of her pretending to speak at MIT submitted as evidence that she spoke at MIT? So confused.

        • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

          Fierce, someone (I think her brother?) invited her (or was strong-armed into having her) as a guest at a casual sit-down pizza lunch with one of the student clubs, I forget which one. She then found an empty lecture hall with a plain wooden podium and staged fake pictures as if she was talking to an audience, going so far as to make hand gestures and placed her little thank you gift bag with the MIT logo facing out so there could be no question she was there. One of the more desperate acts of fakery in a long long list.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          ahem, see the Glossary: Podium Pose

      • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

        I am CHOKING on she “co-founded and ran a tech/media business for three years”.
        SHE HAD A BLOG!!! A LOW-TRAFFIC VANITY BLOG WITH PICTURES OF HERSELF AND LINKS TO RANDOM WEDDING VIDEOS. COME ON, ELLE. COME THE FUCK ON!!!

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        When did she do international conferences? Hope she is not referring to Davos.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        [img]http://farm1.staticflickr.com/131/319047856_dbf1ef3e92_m.jpg[/img]

      • here's the thing says:

        also…she has health insurance.

    • anon says:

      Great find. Is it possible that she’s currently writing a book called “Guinea Pig of Love” but hasn’t announced it yet?

      • monster (Single and Mingle) says:

        its the title of the online Elle column.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Guinea Pig of Love is the worst title for anything EVER.

        • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

          They got the pig part right.

        • monster (Single and Mingle) says:

          I feel like the title demonstrates how little regard the people around Julia have for her. No one said “we are invested in you and in your success and that is the worst title ever” – instead they said, “yeah, ok, sure – go with whatever she just said.”

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            I’m with you on this. This is a big “who gives a shit let’s not spend one more second on this.”

            Just even the term “guinea pig” is so outdated.

          • OT: Julia Allison as ‘Guinea Pig’ makes me think of Guam, as in, New Guinea being due south of Guam.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          Guinea Pig of Injectables is more apt, amiright?!

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          Is she a guinea pig because no one has even been in love before in the whole history of the world?

          Is she the subject of an experiment by dark forces who force her to buy her own shoes?

          And why am I picturing her roommate trying to find a melody for that title?

  47. DSM V: JFA Edition says:

    i love all of you assholes so much. i’m deliriously excited. sadly, i’m abroad for work this week and so i’ll have to find it online b/c no way i can wait to get home to watch the copy i’ve had my cat wife dvr for me. i look forward to your recaps and comments, even if it means i have to get up hours early to see them…

  48. ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

    From Twitter
    [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/2ia4fgh.jpg[/img]
    Transbraytion: I don’t know how to use Bluetooth.

    [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/1z6cjrm.jpg[/img]
    Transbraytion: I’ve been writing for Elle since November 2011 but have missed the deadline (in June 2012) for my first column.

    • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      Disclaimer: I don’t use Apple products (team andriod!), so if Bluetooth is the wrong term for Apple sync tech, apologies.

    • Psychotic Today says:

      She is an idiot. But, we all know this. If you hook up your iphone to your mac they automatically start to sync. For someone who claims to be such an Apple fan girl she really is tragically dumb.

      • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

        Can it be that she actually doesn’t know the most basic task of saving a file to one folder and moving/copying it to another?
        Special.

      • Joardache & the Pelts says:

        Or she can attach the doc to an email and send it to herself. Julia just wants to sound important because she’s trying to do a basic task. Or cover her ass for being late in sending something. She so re re.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        I would have expected a digital nomad to have a dropbox account or use Google docs.

        • Pelts Off the Charts says:

          right?!?! I am an old and a tech idiot, but even I have a dropbox account and know how to email myself.

      • bitchface says:

        email/ dropbox/ etc. are moot if there is no internet connection on the mac

        just sayin’… you all are obviously not advisers to Silicon Valley start-ups and have not run a tech/media conglomerate for 3 years

    • 11th Wang says:

      Meet Julia Allison, a woman in tech.

    • KashMoney says:

      i don’t have an iPhone or a laptop or an Apple computer, but I am confident Google would answer this in seconds.

      I’m being to think that Julia perceives the Internet to be her imaginary best/only friend. The only way I _wouldn’t_ google something is if someone was with me who knew their stuff. That’s what she perceives the web to me. It also explains, partly, her oversharing.

    • What? Early adopter fangirl of all things tech & consultant to start-ups in Silicon Valley, Julia Allison, is unfamiliar w/ the concept of cloud computing?

      • Miss assvice says:

        The FRACKING BRAYGES this give me!!!! She has not, will not, and never will be a girl geek, a tech founder, or an advisor. It was a fracking piece of shit tumblr blog that she never laid one fucking piece of code down on. She can’t even use her iCloud On fracking iPhone. Myself and other women that actually run desk errands in tech, have to deal with the sexist bullshit that she perpetuates. She has been pulling this shit since late 2005 and we keep fighting it. I may have to poke Elle on this one because it makes me fucking sick.

  49. bitchface says:

    WHAT Silicon Valley start-ups has she been an Adviser to?

    About.me = lame/ went nowhere
    MyBaldRunCanyon.com is not listed on NASDAQ that I can find

    being a (former) friend to Facebook’s sister is not being an Adviser to a tech company, idiot

    • LickedRandisCake says:

      Excuse you, she ate in Google’s cafeteria once, don’cha know.

      This is another big indicator she plans on ‘conquering’ the Bay Area next. She’s already ‘in’ there, yo!

      In other breaking news, the entire Bay Area just yawned, rolled their eyes and shrugged.

    • donkolnikov says:

      she brayed about advising “about.me” with Tim Ferriss and others, which sold a while ago. I have no idea what she “advised” them about.

      • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

        I remember that. She had a beta page. She probably set up a page and, I don’t know, answered some questions about using it.

  50. someproblems says:

    So I hope an actual screenwriter out there is getting this all down. I see the film opening in the aftermath of Miss Advised following the loss of all her “friends,” several ousters from various cities, firings from real jobs, and no communication with her family. Jackles has hit bottom, wears only tracksuits from Walmart, off brand uggs and plainly has a pill/alcohol problem. But she is still plucky and has not lost her will to self improve. Hijinks ensue as she goes to rehab, works her way back into the hearts of friends and family, and finally manages to hold down an office manager position in Des Moines.

    A better version of this film was already made called Young Adult, so the market is primed for some lesser knock offs, which suits Our Jackles perfectly.

    • Stripper Shoes on a Craig's List Date says:

      I am actually mulling over the idea of a screenplay based (loosely, Julsie, loosely, so call off your daddy’s lawyers) on this bitch. But I can’t until I decide how black I want it to be. Does she go on a murderous spree at some point? Does she go all Scarsdale Diet doctor’s girlfriend on some guy? Does she end up homeless? Or does she turn her life around? Or does she fall up and up and up until she marries a Kardashian boy or a foreign prince a la Blair Waldorf? I can’t decide.

      • Awww, leave Jean Harris out of this! She was accomplished to begin w/ & then she actually wrote a pretty decent book based on what she learned while behind bars.

        I’m thinking it’s Lasagna who goes on the homicidal rage, & assuming Donkey survives that, she’ll either end up on a home shopping network or holding get-rich-quick seminars in Holibray Inn conference rooms.

      • Not! Random! says:

        None of the above. For the ultimate rock-bottom, nothing could beat shilling for Velveeta Skillets on her twitter, and then repeatedly bumping it to the top of her stream. With Juliar, fact beats fiction every.single.time.

  51. Dr. Gary says:

    I wonder if Raul is jealous of Dad$ers BFF, Mark Kirk?

    @JuliaAllison: Another Dad classic: my father & now Senator Mark Kirk, at church camp (that’s right: church camp) in the late 80s. HA! http://t.co/UvxwJ3fs

    [img]http://i48.tinypic.com/20h84g3.png[/img]

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      BONER PARTY!!!!

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      I think this photo is hilarious.

      However, if a similar one existed of my dad and I shared it online, he’d be mortified.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      FUCK (church) CAMPING!

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      Weird and creepy.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      Is that a pixie stick in your pants, Petey, or are you just glad to see Mark?

      Wow! Dad$er was/is a major nerd. And Julie has a yen for nerds. Not that I’m implying anything untoward here …

      • Dr. Gary says:

        I think Julie once posted an old pic of Dad$ers (and maybe one of [redacted]?), and pointed out the *tee hee* similarity between the two. It was creepy. Electra Complex much?

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Mark Kirk looks like the lead singer in a Loverboy cover band.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnHm4ro_l8s

      Speaking of Loverboy, next time one of you bitches wants to party in the van with Dr. Gary? You best be bringing a Loverboy mix tape.

      • Princess WideStance says:

        I was thinking more Air Supply, but ok. Just anything we can couples skate to.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      [img]http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk72/theDAN-O/John_Belushi/Belushi-Guitar-Smash.gif[/img]

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      “Apropos of nothing,” as A Donkey would have it, “church” and “kirk” mean the same thing: make of it what you will. Also, this is why shorts are, in general, misadvised (HAHAHAHA! as A Donkey would have it.)

  52. Worrisome Pelts says:

    [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/mvoodg.jpg[/img]

  53. 4 weeks and 13 phone calls says:

    I highly recommend The South End in Boston for restaurants when you’re here Holly O. Especially The Buttery, The Gallows and Noche. Beacon Hill Charles Street for shopping and an adorable neighborhood feel, very Boston. The Back Bay for more commercial retail shopping and good bars/restaurants. The North End if you’re in the mood for Italian. If you’re looking for a tourist moment, the Duck Tours are actually a blast and take you all around the city and onto the Charles river. Take a ride on the swan boats in the public garden, go to the observation deck in the Prudential Tower in the back bay for amazing views, have a drink at the bar at Top of the Hub in the Pru above the city as well. On Saturday take a brewery tour of the Sam Adams brewery (easy to get to via public transportation), have some drinks on the water in the Seaport. If the Red Sox are in town buy a day if game ticket and go to Fenway!
    Clearly I’m a Bostonian, hope you lI’ve your time here and in the States!
    Also set my Dvr for the shitstorm tomorrow, wondering if I’ll make it through the whole hour. Looking forward to the post show posts!

  54. Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Eating crumbled macaroons in my bathroom while I organize my closet. What?? Like you’re doing something better? Oh. You probably are.

    Eating in the bathroom- just like Lena Dunham’s character in Girls! On a day when Slate had a slideshow of the show’s bathroom moments, starting with Hannah eating a cupcake in the tub. Change that to macaroons, and Julia presents a totally-not-made-up anecdote that shows how quirky she is, not derivative of tv at all!

    Also, she’s a writer y’all. Did you get the impression her closet was in her bathroom? Maybe it is! You just don’t know how to read her, is the thing.

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      This bitch has NEVER has an original thought in her head. From sporting Elle Woods drag and dingbat persona at Georgetown to braying ad nauseum about Carrie Bradshaw 2.0, it’s like watching the Z list version of Marcia Gay Harden in Used People. I was wondering when she’d get around to her usual middle school co-opting of whatever’s popular on cable and here we are. Karma finds her cut off by Dad$er once the Bravo shitshow airs and turning tricks outside of The Yukon Mining Company at 3 a.m. “Hey, you! You’re lookin’ transtastic!”

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        Didn’t go out Friday or Saturday night. Now home on Sunday cleaning her bathroom. She has no friends.

        • Friday & Saturday spent reading whatsherface’s blog & madly writing her Elle column (probably due last week), then rewarding herself w/ a macaroon bingefest in her bathroom where Flusher Price won’t hear her ralphing?

  55. Grammarian says:

    omg omg omg omg

    i don’t have cable

    BUT HERE’s THE THING

    THE BIKES AT THE GYM HAVE CABLE AND BRAVO IS ONE OF THEIR CHANNELS
    omg omg omg omg

  56. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:
  57. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    I just tried to set my DVR to record this shit show, and it actually asked me, “Are you fucking serious?”

    • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

      LOL! Did it slap you right after?

    • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

      hahaha. i got a similar human reaction when i called home from my work trip to make sure my cat wife remembered to dvr it. she doesn’t understand my fascination, but hopefully the show will let her get it!

    • yourself is a stalker says:

      Oh how I miss the “like” button.

  58. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    BTW, Rielle Hunter will be interviewed on “20/20″ this Friday at 10PM EST, ABC. I guess between this and “Miss Advised,” it’s NPD Week on TV.

  59. Joardache & the Pelts says:

    Chicago Sun-Times puff piece (ha, not the Tribune?)
    http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/13185212-421/bravo-reality-show-follows-julia-allisons-hunt-for-a-mate.html

    Julia’s still blathering about her 72 point howfuk list ( has she actually produced one or is she just making shit up like usual?) AND she’ll be hosting the prestigious Kenilworth Union Church’s annual Preview Deballage Luncheon and Fashion Show July 11.

    • SchiapWTF says:

      And the husband search road trip swings through Illinois once again. Leave no stone unturned, Julesie. Time to smile pretty for those power moms! Who wouldn’t want a 31-year-old reality star with no discernible income and a closet stuffed with 21 tutus for their son?

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Wasn’t the ‘Deballage Luncheon and Fashion Show’ the place where Julie would meet ‘Fantastic Moms with Powerful Sons’ (according to Momsers)?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      She’s going to go to that AFTER being on national TV talking about picking out an appropriate blow-job dress to wear to Mom’s house?

      Um, okay, good job, Robin. I’m sure you will not be embarrassed AT ALL.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      Julia: Hello?
      Pastor Jim: Julia?
      Julia: Yes.
      Pastor Jim: This is Pastor Jim, from the Kenilworth Union.
      Julia: Oh hey, did you see my show on Bravo?
      Pastor Jim: Uhhh….yeah…it was great but..
      Julia: I can wait to host that Deballage luncheon! Everyone is going to love me!
      Pastor Jim: Yeah….I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You see…um…I wanted to pass a note to your parents about the luncheon but I haven’t seen them in a couple of weeks. I tried at the country club, the University Club, the Bar Association, your Dad’s office…everywhere but no one has seen them. Someone said they are in Ashram but I can’t find that on Google Maps.
      Julia: So? What about me?
      Pastor Jim: You see there is a problem with the luncheon.
      Julia: What for godsakes, spit it out Jim.
      Pastor Jim: It’s cancelled. The church burned down. Our phone’s dont work, so don’t try calling. Bye.
      Julia (inner voice): Awesome. Got out of another charity event. Pastor Jim must of really loved my show.

    • bitchface says:

      She’s Type A for Asshole all right

    • So. Blessed. says:

      The Sun-Times used such a flattering photo! I’ll be desk erranding through the premiere so will count on the cats to reblog with their usual awesomeness.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      what the bloody hell does this even MEAN?

      “For viewers who don’t identify as Type A, the list may appear a tad OCD. But Allison swears it’s not, as the man who inspired her reached into the mid-60s.”

      • One Fat Melman says:

        It took some mental gymnastics, but I figured it out – she means to say that her list isn’t that crazy because the guy she dated who inspired her to write the list had at least 65 of the 73 qualities that she was looking for.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          ok, that didn’t even occur to me. since they mentioned her parents inspiring her to make lists, or something, i thought it meant that her dad was 60-something years old, or that the men should aspire to be like her dad…?

    • I didn’t know this was already being discussed in this thread …
      Uhm, er, oops?

  60. Lady Donk Donk says:

    Today is the greatest…. Day I ever knew…. Can’t wait for tomorrow…. Tomorrow’s much too soon…. I’ll burn my eyes out…. Before I get out!!!!!!

    YAAAY!!!! Xmas!!!! in June!!!!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      I know, right???? Tomorrow, you guyth. TOMORROW.

      Did we decide on a time and place for live blogging or chatting? Just regular commenting here or in the RBD chat room? Because I’m gonna need my cat ladies as I pause/rewind/yell at the teevees whilst watching this mess.

      Not to mention the major Cankleshausen flare up that will need tending to.

      • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

        Really, tomorrow? Dang! I lost track after the countdown clock got erased.

        How I wish an SF viewing party had been planned. I’d host, but I don’t have cable.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        We are going to be putting up a post for commenting during the show. I believe our dear professor will be updating TheTrueJA twitter feed that will feed into the post.

        I may give you a recap Tuesday if you people are good. But I ain’t promising shit.

  61. K_Swizz says:

    In the words of the ineffable Jesse Spano:

    I’m so excited.
    I’m so excited.
    I’m so … scared.

    • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

      Aren’t we all…
      [img]http://roccosrevolution.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/139046_o2.gif[/img]

  62. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Is this her new site/cite/sight?

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:
      • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

        WOW, nice find! It’s fascinating what most of the site / cite / sight says about her. A little excerpt:

        “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit….”

        Yah, go ahead an click on all the links. No joke. But, yes, a joke.

        • 11th Wang says:

          I can’t tell if you were just making a joke (maybe because it’s almost 4am and I can’t sleep because someone was just trying to break into my apartment), but lorem ipsum is the standard text that designers and developers use as text placeholders.

          So sorry, so fat.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          shut up you guys, she studied LATIN IN HIGH SCHOOL! you don’t even understand how profound that is!

      • Princess WideStance says:

        Sho looks like it. Quite underwhelming. On the Contact page, she tells people not to send her insulting emails. Which is strange. If you didn’t really know her and were thinking of hiring her, wouldn’t that make you wonder why she’d feel the need to say that?

        Also WTF with having a literary agent.

        • Princess WideStance says:

          Wait a minute. If her show premiers tomorrow, why hasn’t she finished her new website? Could it be because she’s a lazy hosebeast?

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          Really underwhelming… makes the side ways scrolling website look dynamic.

          So she didn’t have it professionally done? This is just a template with some plug ins? I’ve seen Blogger blogs and Tumblrs that look better design wise.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            ‘makes the side ways scrolling website look dynamic’

            Don’t you mean ‘Dynamiq’?

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            Hahahahahah!

            (PS, is the Dynamiq part of the domain going to go away once the site is done? It’s kind of a lame address)

          • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

            (PS, is the Dynamiq part of the domain going to go away once the site is done? It’s kind of a lame address)

            .net

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          Yeah, she really doesn’t realize how she sounds – to me this just makes her sound like a cunt right off the bat…

      • Dr. Gary says:

        GREAT find. But what kind of retard ‘goes live’ with their site when it’s not even ready?

        Lulz. Lots and lots of Lulz:

        “WRITING

        Allison was hired as a contributor to ELLE.com in November of 2011, after ending a successful run as an internationally syndicated columnist for the Tribune Media Services. Allison’s weekly column, “Social Studies,” examined the impact of technology and social media on culture.”

        More Lulz:

        “ENTREPRENEURSHIP, THE WEB & PUBLIC SPEAKING

        A leading force in new media & web 2.0, Allison is the co-founder of NonSociety.com, a lifecasting platform that was selected as a 2009 Official Webby Honoree. She’s been hired by companies like Unilever, Microsoft, A&E and The Learning Annex and universities including MIT’s Sloan School of Business, University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business and Harvard Business School to speak on new media, personal branding, marketing & entrepreneurship…”

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          LIES, LIES AND MORE LIES!

          JULIAS_LIES.NET

          She’s obviously trying to sell herself here – the problem is the website, even with clear topics, one you click them – is just a jumble of text, most of it very outdated.,

          I’m guessing she wants to get back out on the commentating circuit.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          And if by ‘hired’ she means ‘offered some pizza to speak at the MIT Innovation Club’s next meeting’ then yes, she was ‘hired’.

          MIT Innovation Club
          ‏@MITiClub @juliaallison speaks to the MITiClub on April 27 at noon (e51-335) about ‪#new‬ media entrepreneurship – be there.

          MIT Innovation Club
          ‏@MITiClub @juliaallison – Thanks so much for coming in – you were definitely well received by the iClub crowd!

      • ethel-egg says:

        OMG! That thing is a treasure trove of bullshit! It’s fab!

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        Funny thing is, though, that once the show airs, she can throw away all of those poses (commentator! tech founder! journalist!) — she’s going to be whatever she is on that show. One defining image, no more dancing from one self-definition to another — she’s going to be Julia Allison, Bravo cuckoo, end of story.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          Um, the site is down… because a Donkey never reads here.

          LOL, I die…

          • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

            Can you imagine the call “Shirtless-On-His-Ikea-Pleather-Couch” just got???

            “YOU SHITHEAD!!!!! TAKE THAT SITE DOWN!!!!!!!”

      • Dr. Gary says:

        My cup overfloweth with LOLs:

        “LIFECAST 2.0

        Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Integer rutrum, enim sit amet rhoncus mollis, purus est fermentum odio, quis malesuada ligula erat et magna. Aliquam eleifend nibh iaculis nibh semper sit amet varius lectus euismod. Vivamus id dolor arcu, quis tristique ligula. Integer quis quam ac tellus ornare ultricies. Ut non leo at nisl tristique posuere ac in dui. Praesent ac metus eros, a iaculis nisl. Praesent pellentesque, arcu a semper eleifend, odio nisl bibendum lorem, ac dictum sapien leo at justo. Phasellus luctus gravida libero sed dapibus. Suspendisse ipsum augue, rhoncus sit amet hendrerit eu, porta non mauris. Vivamus velit nisi, tincidunt nec congue quis, placerat eu nulla. Nam dapibus aliquet rutrum. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae”

        Take THAT haters. I guess someone was a member of the high school Latin Club after all!

      • Dr. Gary says:

        ex·pert [n., ek-SPURT] Noun: “What happens on date #1.5 after someone is gifted a new pair of shoes.

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          LOL, the best!!!!

          PS, her About is about 12,000 words – she just goes on and one and on.

          • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

            How does she expect to maintain yet another behemoth “All About Me” site? She’s had nonsociety for 4 years and it is a hot mess of “content coming soon” or severely outdated if not outright broken links.
            Girl spends way too much time on fripperies and nonsense.

            [img]http://i49.tinypic.com/1z2n88y.jpg[/img]

        • Ex Spurt says:

          Hey! I’ve been rung!

          • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

            Holy fuck, all of the above is hysterical (sic).

            Is she really calling it “Lifecast 2.0″ ? Calling things “2.0” is really, really, really tired.

  63. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    It would be HYSTERICAL for someone to do a rebuttal piece on this “About” she wrote for herself.

    FYI, here comes a wall of text (which I’m doing incase she takes her 25% complete site down):

    ABOUT
    The Short
    Julia Allison is a journalist who is not (yet) dead.
    The Medium
    Julia Allison is a journalist, entrepreneur, public speaker, social media addict and ostensible “relationship expert.” In other words, she owns more self-help books than you.
    Formerly a nationally syndicated technology & social media columnist, she is currently a contributor at ELLE.com. Allison has published several hundred dating columns for AM New York, Time Out New York and Cosmopolitan and has written for Newsweek, The Chicago Tribune, New York magazine, Men’s Health, Seventeen, Teen Vogue and The New York Post, among others. She has also made hundreds of appearances as a commentator, expert and host on NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, VH1 & MTV.
    Allison co-founded and ran a tech/media business for three years, regularly serves as an advisor to Silicon Valley start-ups and has spoken at MIT, Wharton, Harvard & at conferences around the world on new media, personal branding, marketing & entrepreneurship.
    Born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago, she graduated with an spectacularly unprofitable government degree from Georgetown University, lived in New York for six years, then headed back to Chicago for a year of eating deep dish pizza before she moved to LA, where she is probably right now as you read stuck in traffic.
    Her father is still waiting for her to get a “real job” with health insurance.
    The Much Too Long …
    New York Magazine named her “the most famous young journalist in the city,” The New York Times wrote that she is “among the best-known columnists of her generation,” Newsweek dubbed her “The Marketing Machine,” and her WIRED cover on personal branding outsold every other issue in the last decade, save three. In June of 2012, The New York Observer declared: “Julia Allison is not dead.” Several of her exes were disappointed.
    Julia Allison is a journalist, tv personality, entrepreneur, public speaker, and unabashed social media junkie – even her stationery reads “@JuliaAllison.” She co-stars on BRAVO’s newest documentary series, Miss Advised (premiering June 18th), and introduces her new ELLE.com column, Guinea Pig of Love, this summer.
    WRITING
    Allison was hired as a contributor to ELLE.com in November of 2011, after ending a successful run as an internationally syndicated columnist for the Tribune Media Services. Allison’s weekly column, “Social Studies,” examined the impact of technology and social media on culture.
    She’s also written for Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, New York magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Guardian UK, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, Maxim, Teen Vogue, Page Six magazine, Nerve, The Korea Herald and numerous other newspapers and magazines around the world. She has covered everything from New York Fashion Week to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner to the Consumer Electronics Show to Opening Night at the Metropolitan Opera to Comic Con.
    Allison got her start as a columnist at Georgetown University, writing the first ever dating column in the student newspaper from 2002-2004. She brought her popular (and sometimes controversial) column to newspaper AM New York from 2005-2007 & next in the magazine Time Out New York from 2007-2009.
    TV
    An on-camera media expert, Allison has made over a thousand appearances on every major network, including NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, FoxNews, E!, VH1, and MTV. Since 2009, she’s been an on-air correspondent for NBC’s New York NonStop, covering eleven seasons of designers, celebrities, and behind-the-scenes at New York Fashion Week. From 2007 – 2008, Allison was Editor-at-Large for STAR magazine, hired to be the tv “face” for their brand.
    Along the way, Allison has provided commentary for dozens of shows, including The Today Show, CBS’ Early Show, Chelsea Lately, CNN’s Reliable Sources, Access Hollywood, Showbiz Tonight, Fox & Friends, Glenn Beck, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, Hannity & Colmes, G4’s Attack of the Show, MTV’s It’s On with Alexa Chung and the weekly Relationship 101 segment on Fox’s Morning Show with Mike & Juliet.
    Allison conceptualized, executive produced and co-hosted over 100 episodes of the short-form chat show, TMI Weekly, dubbed “The View of the Facebook generation,” (she may or may not have dubbed it that herself) from Next New Networks during 2008-2009. The show aired daily on NBC’s NY NonStop cable channel as well as iTunes & Hulu – making over a quarter million dollars in ad revenue, setting records for web video at the time. The only problem? No one really watched it. Oh well.
    ENTREPRENEURSHIP, THE WEB & PUBLIC SPEAKING
    A leading force in new media & web 2.0, Allison is the co-founder of NonSociety.com, a lifecasting platform that was selected as a 2009 Official Webby Honoree. She’s been hired by companies like Unilever, Microsoft, A&E and The Learning Annex and universities including MIT’s Sloan School of Business, University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business and Harvard Business School to speak on new media, personal branding, marketing & entrepreneurship. A regular panelist at tech & media conferences around the world, she relishes the copious use of nametags.
    Brands have hired Allison as a celebrity spokesperson, talent endorser and expert for a variety of campaigns. In 2010, she starred in the Microsoft BING ad series highlighting well-known New York personalities like Andre Leon Talley, Zach Posen, Kelly Cutrone, and Sherri Shepard. In 2009, SONY hired her as a spokesperson alongside Peyton Manning & Justin Timberlake, starring in a national tv, print, radio & digital campaign or its Vaio laptop. Most recently, she has partnered with brands like Intel, Kodak, Cisco, Tresemme, Armani Exchange, Axe, Caress, Degree, Seaworld, T-Mobile, Volvo and Pepsi’s Propel.
    Allison’s passion is mentoring aspiring female journalists & entrepreneurs with unconventional career advice. She has mentored over fifty young women one-on-one. She has also worked with the organizations Oxfam, Women for Women International, and Susan G. Komen.
    A social media addict, she has two laptops, a desktop, an iPad & an iPhone along with two Facebook profiles, four Twitter handles, a Myspace page, a LinkedIn account, a Flickr feed, four Tumblrs, three Movable Type blogs, one WordPress, two Vimeos, one Quora account, two YouTube channels and a photogenic white shih-tzu named Lilly who – yep – tweets (@Lillydog). Combined, her accounts number over 150,000 fans, followers or subscribers.
    EARLY YEARS
    Raised on the mean suburban streets of Chicago’s North Shore, Allison attended New Trier High School, where she honed her “power dork” skills on the debate team, school newspaper and yes, the Latin club.
    In the midst of college, Allison worked on a high profile congressional campaign, later becoming the youngest legislative correspondent on Capitol Hill during the 107th Congress. After graduating Georgetown with a degree in political science in 2004, she provided occasional on-air election commentary during the 2004 race and was simultaneously rejected for a job at Bath & Body Works.
    In the five years since, her proudest moment was Oscar-winner Diablo Cody tweeting that she admired Allison’s “balls.”

    • bitchface says:

      there are no words. Actually there are a lot of words, but wow….. I need a shower from the powerful stench of lies.

    • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

      “In June of 2012, The New York Observer declared: ‘Julia Allison is not dead.’”

      And that’s how she spins things, folks! Step right up to the most amazing show on earth…

    • juliajane says:

      “Allison’s passion is mentoring aspiring female journalists & entrepreneurs with unconventional career advice. She has mentored over fifty young women one-on-one. She has also worked with the organizations Oxfam, Women for Women International, and Susan G. Komen.”

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

        Interesting that she dropped working for Charity Water from this version of distortions (vs the earlier version JP links to here).

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        There are so many lies but this section is the one that boils the blood. Her definition of “mentor” is to not pay, give college credit to, or develop life skills in interns who are tasked with picking up her dry cleaning and anonymously commenting on her hate site.

        I’m dying to know more about what her “work” was with those charities.

  64. ethel-egg says:

    I’m so sad I’m not gonna see this show. I don’t have sky tv & I doubt it would be on here anyway. I downloaded something that someone recommended the other day for watching it but it was only for the US & the UK audiences. Stink! If anyone has a recommend for being able to see it in NZ I’m all (bunny) ears.

    • helobabe says:

      http://www.tv-shows.eu works for me for a lot of British shows that I like. It takes a few days to put the shows up. When you click the show, make sure you also click the tab for “all other links” because the first links they will show you are the pay ones.

      I hope that works in NZ but I’m not sure. Worth a try!

  65. Julia's Crypt Keeper says:

    Lets see a Bravo show launching…the credits read:

    Insight provided by RebloggingDonk dot com and one Donkey Skinner. (that is donkey trainer to you city folk)

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