Donkey Relates To This, Twitter Tells Her To Get Help, Donkey Claims She Has a Therapist

 

Check this out.

Yeah, this is pretty much EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LIKE AT 29 – and what I’m like now at 31. Aww, SHIT, how did they KNOW!?!

Scandalous@JuliaAllison I feel sorry for you then. I really hope you’re kidding or have a good therapist.

@Scandalous - I am both kidding – and have a great therapist. :-) 

Ahhh, Ye Olde I’m-Just-Kidding-Don’t-Take-it-So-Seriously-EVERYTHING-I-SAY-IS-A-JOKE! Excuse. Oh honey. You’re actually NOT kidding, although you probably are kidding about having a therapist. You’re a year past your “expiration date” and so freaked out about WHERE IS MY HUSBAND that you are about to completely embarrass yourself and your family on national television to the point that you will probably assure that no man will ever even agree to a first date with you.

And, of course, there’s always this:

KrysMarshall: Just saw the promo for @bravo’s #MissAdvised and good God, what did #JuliaAllison do to her face?! Step awaaay from the injectables.

 

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184 Responses to Donkey Relates To This, Twitter Tells Her To Get Help, Donkey Claims She Has a Therapist

  1. Who do you think you are? says:

    By ‘therapist’, she means Flusher Price and the direct phone # for that astrologist.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Backed up by a dog eared, underlined, highlighted copy of the latest pop psychology book.
      As I’m sure the Donkey, the great tech columnist would say, why do people need to spend the work, time and money going to boring real people therapists when they can download all the help they need to their Ipad and get fixed in the comfort of their own squats, clothed in the most comfortable of stinky sweats with a large supply of chocolate on hand to hoover down when they reach “breakthrough”.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      I’m pretty sure by “therapist” she means the shaman who must have recommended that she burn those wadded-up herbal thingies inside the Marina del Bray condo.

  2. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    She is one of those idiots who won’t go to therapy because she doesn’t want to be told what she has to do to become a normal, sane human being. The only therapists she could stomach are the “cheerleader” types, not the actual good therapists who will say, in so many words: “You know, you are fucked up. You need to work really hard to get better.” She would be so insulted if any therapist ever suggested to her that she has some serious issues and disordered thinking that were going to require a shit-ton of work.

    One of her co-stars was recently pilloried pretty hard for how she comes off while promoting the show (cough cough Amy Laurent cough cough). Her response? While it really stung, she was grateful for the criticism and really believes the critics were bang-on. Imagine that.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      When I met my last therapist I told him, “I don’t need your empathy and I’m not looking for validation. I want someone who will consistently call me out on my bullshit.” And he did so! I had to pay him. Julie isn’t big into any of the aforementioned.

      • Wife Branding says:

        Have you seen the online series Burning Love? Favorite line: “I love my therapist. He’s like having a really expensive friend who’s judging you all the time.”

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      She’s perfect for L.A. then, where cheerleading “life coaches” are a dime a dozen. It seems to me like every other person in that town is at least moonlighting as a new agey grifter willing to tell you want you want to hear in exchange for the long green. That includes a former boss, whose website, complete with flashing Allison-like quotes taken out of context, always sends me off into gales of laughter: http://www.fortedreams.com/

    • melting marionette says:

      her idea of a good therapist is one who enables her delusions.

    • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

      Here is an honest to God question. I would really, really like to know. Do therapists actually do that? Tell you what you need to do to be a sane and normal individual? Because my mother went to therapy for years when she was only depressed before she went downright crazy, and she never had a single therapist who did this. Ever. Every single therapist and psych she ever had only validated her feelings. I went with her to the last session when she began having paranoid delusions and even then her psychiatrist said, “We need to deal with this with love and patience.” When I said that love and patience didn’t seem like a good remedy for what is clearly a chemical, mental break causing my mother to think that her phones are bugged, the psychiatrist told me that I’m “behaving inappropriately” and am “excessively confrontational.”

      Oh, and then my mom ended up in a psych ward.

      • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

        Posted to soon. So I was just thinking, given my mom’s experience with therapists and psychiatrists who only reinforced her own world view, I wonder if Julia would even benefit from therapy. There are so many different therapists in the world: I’m sure Julia will doctor-shop until she finds one that tells her everything she wants to hear.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I think the vast majority take the easy way out. My ex’s therapist basically believed all the lies he told him about what an unloving wife I was and how, indeed, he SHOULD leave me for the cunt he was banging in our marital bed during his lunch hour for two years. That it would be unhealthy for him to stay with someone who didn’t tell him each and every day how awesome/handsome/brilliant/sexy/hot/intellectual/profoundly intelligent/creative he was.

        Certainly, they can only deal with the information they are given and assholes always spin their own bullshit. But a good therapist — and I had one — will challenge your assertions about your life and your relationships, will force you to truly be honest about what role you’ve played in how things got so bad, and you often walk out of there bawling, feeling miserable, feeling totally fucked up, but knowing that at least you’re getting to a place where you will/can change, and it can only get better.

        But I would venture it’s far easier to be a cheerleader type of therapist.

        • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

          Okay, thanks for the response, Jacy. I think I need some therapy myself. I’m hesitant to pursue it just because the only person I know who’s been through therapy did not obviously come out the better for it.

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            You don’t say when your mom was in therapy, but my grandmother was “treated” by a psychiatrist from the early 80s to the late 90s. While I’m inclined to believe the guy was just a very popular quack, he *was* trained in a era when all female psych problems were attributed to stress and treated with Valium. He did not deviate from that protocol.

            Ultimately, the guy’s assurances that my grandmother’s problems were all due to stress/lack of understanding from her ungrateful family kept her from seeking the kind of modern help that would have let her have a real life. It also delayed the diagnosis of her cancer until it was terminal, but my grandmother had free will and was never physically prevented from visiting her GP, so I can’t put that all on the doc.

            tl;dr: Visit as many therapists as you have to until you find someone who can give you the help you need.

            Best of luck.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Do it, lady. You’ll be glad you did. But just say to your therapist exactly what Handbag said to hers: I don’t want a cheerleader. I want to know how to fix my wiring and to stop feeling miserable because of it. I recommend cognitive therapy, because they really get you to peel back the layers of your defence mechanisms and figure out what is at the very heart of why you act/behave/feel the way you do. For me, almost everything was fear-based thanks in large part to being raised by an emotionally abusive and manipulative NPD poster woman.

            It was very eye-opening and extremely helpful.

            You can do it!

          • Julia: Old Maid, Forever Alone says:

            Worrisome Pelts, that is EXACTLY when my mother was being treated. She has consumed so much Valium/Prozac/pills that I’m amazed her liver hasn’t turned to mush.

            And thanks, Jacy! I think I may give it a shot.

          • Lilly Liberation Front (formerly Whackjob of Whimsy) says:

            I’m bipolar. I’ve only recently finally admitted it, but looking back, I think my last therapist treated me as such. It was helpful. The right amount of encouragement, and a bit of letting me know when I was wrong.

            I’ve really lucked out in terms of therapists. Every one I’ve seen has been helpful, and I know that’s not always the case. It may take some shopping around, but it’s worth it. Don’t feel bad if the first few aren’t the right fit. Just keep at it. :)

            Don’t get me started on the pill docs, though.

          • Chafing Thighs says:

            “Jacy “Donk” LaRue says:

            For me, almost everything was fear-based thanks in large part to being raised by an emotionally abusive and manipulative NPD poster woman.”

            OMG! Jacy, are we siblings? Because I always thought MY mother was that particular poster child!

          • I highly recommend a therapist with a psychodynamic approach — it gets to the roots of what happened in your past that affects you today (like family dysfunction, abuse, etc) so you have a better understanding of what’s going on in your present-day life. It was amazingly helpful for me in getting some clarity about having a borderline-personality mom & an alcoholic dad, and how the dynamics of my childhood encouraged me to set up certain thoughts and behaviors as a defense mechanism.

            Therapy can be painful and heartwrenching but it’s worth it. I made the decision to enter intensive therapy at the same time I got sober, which I wouldn’t recommend to anyone, but it certainly jump-started my recovery.

            (One more thing: therapy for people with mental illnesses is different than therapy with people looking to become healthy functioning adults without actual mental illnesses. I can kind of see how a therapist treating a schizophrenic would want to validate delusions so as not to alienate the patient from the therapist-patient relationship; there’s not a lot that can be done if meds are being tweaked or aren’t working.)

          • Sake Bombardier says:

            @Chafing Thighs We must be triplets, because I thought *I* was the poster child. Although I think my mother is more of a Histrionic PD type, I think the result is the same: Generalized Anxiety Disorder that crippled me into complete dissociative episodes.

            And I whole-heartedly endorse quitting a therapist that’s not working.

            The last one I quit could not hide her frustration with me. I mean, I know I am frustrating, but hello! She knew my issues, including my recently-diagnosed ADHD which makes it hard for people to get close to me. (And and and, this was at one of the nation’s leading ADHD treatment centers).

            Still, I felt like at least it was a safe place to vent about the thinks in life that I felt were keeping me stuck… that is, until she snapped and angrily demanded to know why I always present yourself as defective. I was so taken aback that I didn’t say much after that, then I cried all the way home on my two-seat commute. She canceled my next appointment and I never rescheduled.

            The next therapist I found was actually a psychiatrist who took all my observations about what was and wasn’t working in my life and devised a treatment plan that changed my life. 100%–a complete 180. I can never thank him enough, nor believe what a colossal difference the right therapist can make.

            tl;dr: therapists are like boyfriends; sometimes you gotta say, “Next!”

      • virgil reid says:

        my ex who is bipolar ended up becoming completely enabled by his therapist. my ex had concurrent drug abuse issues in addition to the unstable moods, delusions, obsessions, etc but his therapist never made him take accountability for anything (specifically huge things like when he broke the law in another country and was basically thrown out) or recognize unhealthy behaviors. they just cycled through different antipsychotic drugs and he kept validating my ex’s depressive feelings, which were usually related to being self absorbed and entitlement and my ex’s indulgence in every impulse he has.

        i know my other friend had a different experience — his therapist was someone who forced him to work through mental blocks and depression he experienced after a break up and gain perspective about the situation. she was definitely not someone who was interested in reinforcing the narrative he had developed.

        i don’t know. i guess it’s pretty hit and miss.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Finding a good therapist is HARD, yo. It’s not like other medical specialties in which you’re shocked if you don’t get someone who is at least competent. Judging by the people I’ve seen, a majority of therapists are incapable of helping a majority of their patients.

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            There’s a therapist in my family who works for social services in our state and DEAR GOD I shudder to think about the quality of care she provides to her patients. Bonus: The kids are sent to her *because* they don’t have other options.

            Shouldn’t there be some law that if you are a complete fuck-up who is damaging your own children, you can’t be hired to care for other people’s kids? Apparently not.

            That said, there are many fine therapists. Let’s hope the right clients find them.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yes. Good therapists do that. There are lots of bad therapists.

        As for your mother’s psychiatrist—love and patience wouldn’t have hurt, but clearly your mother needed lots of drugs!

    • JFA says:

      Okay I’m gonna add some two cents. I don’t think having a super supportive therapist who doesn’t give you shit about your life is bad for everyone. I had one like that and it was what I needed. I am close with my moms but she can be a tremendous harpy and basically makes me feel 24/7 like everything I do is wrong. So…I needed someone at the time who supported me and was just kind and generous and non-judgmental. And I think many therapists pride themselves on being non-judgmental. Most therapists I have been to that are more talk therapy as opposed to a cognitive type thing…they don’t exist to tell you how to live your life. Of course if you are doing something damaging they will say so, but they aren’t there to tell you to get your ass in gear often. So I don’t think we should poo poo the kind of therapy some people truly need – not someone to harangue them but someone to listen, help them deal with traumatic events, help them make connections between how they were raised and their current behaviors, etc. There are so many different modalities.

      This is actually a good thing to remember. There is no one size fits all method usually. The best therapist is one you have a good connection with, the end. Whatever their modality – they should bend and adapt to suit you. But not all therapists exist either to give you a kick in the ass, or to just endlessly support everything you do. There is often a healthy middle ground.

      /rant

      • JFA says:

        That said…I think JA could benefit from a CBT type thing that is just very focused, because seh seems to make the same mistakes over and over, which is something I was doing too and I started doing a CBT thing because I had read it’s very effective. I don’t see a more talk therapy type thing helping her. But…it depends on what one needs. Some people just need to vent and they don’t want to be told that they need to change anything. Some people want to be told exactly what to do to try to change. But in my experience most therapists tread VERY lightly around telling you what to do or how to live your life.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        That is very true. For someone who is paralyzed with low self-esteem and was raised by someone hyper-critical, that’s not what is needed. I was thinking more for people who have been in a series of fucked-up relationships or have a lot of anger, that kind of thing, who need someone to challenge them on why they make such dumb choices or why they’re so angry instead of contemplative about their own role in their lot in life.

        • Meow Mix says:

          As someone who was raised by a Borderline mom and Narcissist dad, the last thing I need in a therapist is another person to tell me that everything I do is wrong. My dad tries to psychoanalyze me all the time (he has absolutely no background in this field, save for a few pop psych books from the 90s). He’ll attack every core of my being until I finally break down and cry, then call me manipulative for crying. Yeesh.

          I’m pretty scared to start the process of finding a good therapist, so any advice from you cat ladies would be necessary! It’s hard to say, “I need a female therapist who has experience in CBT to change my fucked up self-image and cripplingly low self-esteem but who’s also totally nurturing/non-judgmental yet not enabling of any of my bad behavior, AND has experience with children of Borderlines/Narcissists AND who takes my insurance AND who lives near me.”

          • Albie Quirky says:

            That sounds like a really clear and reasonable set of expectations, seriously. If you have friends who are working with CBT who would be comfortable asking their therapists for leads (and whom you would be comfortable asking to ask their therapists) that is often a good place to start?

          • Admiral of the Burro Fleet says:

            You can totally say that!!

            Personal leads are good, and I also recommend the Psychology Today search engine, which lets you search by those kinds of terms. One of my coworkers used it to find a female therapist within 10 blocks of her home who took our insurance and specialized in talk therapy for body image and relationship issues – so it’s DEFINITELY doable to have the kinds of parameters you have.

            You can also use the website to email the therapists to set up a phone consult, which saved my ass when I was starting therapy because it was so hard to make myself pick up the phone and take the initiative.

          • Wife Branding says:

            If you are in NYC, I got an amazing CBT therapist using the lowest cost program (being seen by a student trainee) here: http://www.cognitivetherapynyc.com/

            CBT absolutely changed my life. One thing to bear in mind is that some therapists will say they have been trained in a CBT modality but blend it with other stuff. I’d avoid that type of therapist — look for someone with a certification, who gets the religion. It’s actually a pretty rigorous and structured process and totally worth it for people who have lived with destructive thought patterns all their lives. Good luck!

          • Melinda says:

            Meow Mix this might sound super weird but…you don’t live in NYC do you? Because I might know a therapist like that?!

          • JFA says:

            Wife Branding How much was it? I had a CBT guy I love who was SUPER low cost but he’s really flakey. I want to continue with it but my mental health coverage sucks ass and it’s so hard to find someone affordable.

          • Meow Mix says:

            Thanks for all the recs, guys!

            I don’t live in NYC, but I live on Long Island, and very close to a train station that takes me right into Penn Station, so if you know anyone really great it might be worth making the trip in once a week or so. Hmm, trying to think of a way to privately provide my email to people who know of someone good… can we do PMs on the forum or something? Chat?

      • fig says:

        Excellent point about the different methods/schools of therapy. They can differ greatly in idea of man, assumptions on what mental illness is, how it develops and thus on how it should or can be treated. So there really is not one “psychotherapy”, but a wide range of pretty different theoretical assumptions and methods and tons of variation again after those get combined and changed over the course of a therapists own experience.

  3. iblow4shoes says:

    If she is not lying I would love for the therapist to write a case study on JAB. It would be an interesting and cautionary tale.

    Also, I love this gif!
    [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5nrvlcV6n1qzhl6vo1_400.gif[\img]

    • iblow4shoes says:

      I give up.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      That is very cute.

      http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5nrvlcV6n1qzhl6vo1_400.gif

      I have a cat who actually does this. Taps me all the time for affection. Sometimes he actually reaches out with both paws and pulls my hand towards him.

      • Who do you think you are? says:

        Our cat can be very cute to very annoying about it. We call her Little Hands.

      • Bravo's Bitch says:

        My cat does that too but it is more smacking than tapping. And she uses her claws to pull my hair until I wake up and pet her.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Here ya go, Tiger:
      [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/2d1sm0o.gif[/img]

      • iblow4shoes says:

        Thanks!

        My cats stare at me until I sit on the sofa, then run over and jump in my lap. It makes reading hard, so now I stand in the kitchen if I want to read.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Doesn’t that make it hard to underline appropriate passages in the self-help books you read?

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            And even harder to take pictures of you pointing to pages annotated with comments like “INSIGHTFUL!” and “too true.”

      • Meow Mix says:

        Aww! We got our cat from a shelter and he was so nervous for the first few months but now he’s an absolute mush. He follows me around the apartment all the time. When I go to pee he sits outside the door and meows. When I try to leave our bedroom he grabs at me and tries to pull me back.

        Cats are the best.

      • :-) Reminds me of one kitty I had who knew better than to ever actually get *on* the dining room table, but she sure would reach up & feel around the edge of it, just in case there was something she could snag, & she’d also pull your napkin out of your lap — such a funny little thing who totally understood when she made people laugh, which she thrived on doing.

        • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

          Today I had to euthanize my mother’s 15 year old angora cat and I can’t tell her because she has Alzheimer’s and will either hate me or forget, thankfully she has two other cats to stink up the house. Also had to drive from Boston to upstate New York to do this because my brother who lives with her couldn’t handle it. But I did get the senior citizen discount!

  4. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Sorry to revert back to a prior post/topic, but can we just take one more second to point out how bat shit fucking insane Donkey must be to have said the things she said in that Observer piece? Its not just the obvious lies, its the how disconnected from reality she is with so many of her statements.

    She is not garden variety crazy. She is absolutely 100% untethered from reality and off her rocker.

    Which of course guarantees that we will be disappointed by neither the show nor the aftermath.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      The funniest thing to me is that she expected a puff piece. Based on WHAT? What has she done since she left New York? Been fired from yet another job. How has she redeemed herself from all her past fame-whoring, nutcase behavior? Absolutely nothing.

      And how can she take offence to the notion that she is a relentless fame-seeker when she is STARRING ON A REALITY SHOW and braying about it on all her social media platforms?

      Why else does anyone do a reality show unless they either need serious help, in the Hoarders vein, or they want fame?

      • Experienced vanity blog COO looking for work says:

        For the last time:

        She’s trying to get her writing noticed and there are only two options — wear a white suit or do reality television.

        You shitheads!!

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        I can kind of see why she expected a puff piece. She has always been able to pull the wool over people’s eyes. After how many years on the scene and you can count on one hand the number of balance profiles that have been written about her. The reason she keeps doing what she does is because she hardly ever faces consequences for her actions. Or at least, it seems that way (karma face notwithstanding).

        • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

          THIS

        • fig says:

          I think what makes a difference now is also the fact that people no longer write about a fellow writer, but a Bravo reality “star”. Seems much, much easier now to deny her the benefit if the doubt.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            fig!!!!!!!!!!!! This is an amazing insight. I think you’re on to something for sure. It’s not considered couth to trash fellow journalists in print, but reality TV “personalities” are always in season.

            Let’s see how she does without protection from the Thin Blueline (stupid journalism joke).

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      At best disconnected. For sure. She does realize, even in this what-was-supposed-to-be puff piece, that her brand of crazy is going to be on much broader display and has expressed an inkling of regret (maybe part self-awareness, part damage control). But then she goes right back off the rails by expressing her spirituality and her (tired) “I want to be open and honest” shtick that is intended to imply self-awareness and a desire to change but really just skirts the whole issue. Once again, Donkey never learns.

  5. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    OT:

    Poor Rambo:

    Blend

    2 stalks celery
    Big handful spinach
    1 apple
    1 pair

  6. JFA says:

    Honey, they are laughing AT you, not with you. She doesn’t get it.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Exactly. She thinks the girl playing 31 actually believes that. No, you tool, they’re making fun of idiots like you who believe life is over if they haven’t snagged a dude by 31.

  7. Donk, Donk. Who's There? says:

    This is how she’s helping all the girls with low self-esteem issues?
    Does she not see what a fucking hypocrite she is?
    I seriously cannot with her. She’s breaking me.
    I have a teeny girl kitten and I was talking to huscat this morn about raising her to be strong, independent, confident, smart. Basically the opposite of JA (please lord.)

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      The only thing parents have to do to prevent their children from becoming Donkeys is to instill in them the conviction that they’re amazing, but not so amazing that they can make it in life without developing unique skills and interests.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yes! My bro-in-law and sis-in-law are great with that with my nephew. They’re all “You’re special to us, and if you find something you’re good at and work hard at it you can be special to others as well!”

    • mcakez says:

      I was just telling Manta in chat… people don’t usually become role-models by being just like the people for whom they are supposed to be modeling.

      I mean, that is the ‘model’ part of the term.

      Her mission statement is what? “I, like, totally hate myself, so I want to be on TV so other girls who have low self-esteem can take lessons from me in how to love themselves… all of that is disregarding, of course, that I totally love myself. Go girls! #missadvised”

  8. mule on rouge says:

    I want to hang out with Krystal Marshall and Jennifer Stavros some time. Judging by their twitter accounts, they seem to be fun and cool.

  9. Fake Kidney Infucktion says:

    She’s so pathetic. Doesn’t she realize that video is meant as a parody (I hope) of women like her?
    I think women who center their lives around finding a man are so sad. Not sad as in “poor thing” but sad as in “get that idiot away from me, I don’t want the 1950′s rubbing off on me”.
    Donkey, here’s a tip. Get a life, get some hobbies, cultivate a personality, get a job. Become the person you want to date. Then maybe the person you want to date might want to have something to do with you! But if they don’t, that’s OK! Because you would still have your friends, your family, your job, and your winning personality.
    Wait. No. You’re a donkey.

  10. Jack the Bulldog says:

    A super duper DEEP THOUGHT with Kristin Thorne! She’s really got a bee in her bonnet about shelling out $$$ for a scoop, but a freebie or crowdsourcing is a-o.k. Sounds like?

    “So this NYC radio station will go unnamed but I heard on it this morning that they’re paying people to call them with news tips. If you “win” (which I guess it means they cover your story) you get $101. I know they’re just trying to get listeners and boost their ratings but really?? Go out and find your own stories, ask people for stories but don’t pay them!”

    • I guess her position on whether or not HuffPo bloggers should be paid can be extrapolated from this, that ‘asking’ for stories is okay, (because hers are spoon fed to her, so she can’t really criticize), but for dogs’s sake, don’t set a precedent, don’t pay people for content!

      Does she work for free?

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        If the Thorney one indeed co-hosts that NYC premiere for a network rival, she may find herself not working at all.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          Is Donkey going to NYC for the premiere? That makes as much sense as anything else she does.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Insightful comment. I wonder how closely Donkey’s travel schedule approximates Brownian motion.

          • This little Donkey went to NYC for birdthay chicken …

            This little Donkey went to market to hoover candy bars in the middle of the aisle …

            This little Donkey stayed home because none of the boys on Craigslist needed $$ that bad …

            This little Donkey had a 7th of a gallon of icing chased w/ pescachickenarian broth …

            This little Donkey had none more of those injections in her deflated face …

            This little Donkey cried after sex when she saw the fiver Toph had left on the bedside table …

            This little Donkey brayed “TeeHeeHaw!” all the way to the OMG Downtown Condo …

            This little Donkey had none of her ‘journalist’ contracts renewed …

  11. ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

    Ha. I posted a link to this video in the comments sometime around the end of May (from Jezebel) and mentioned that madam would eventually get around to posting herself without source attribution. She does this all the time. Rude donkey is rude.
    I manage interwoven social media accounts for a few clients and ALWAYS include the source for links, original and derived. So if galleycat posts a relevant link, for example, I give @galleycat credit. Basic professionalism. Not something a career plagiarist would be familiar with.

  12. i.just.cant! says:

    i thought she admitted to NOT going to therapy? wtf, it’s just hard to keep up with the lies.

    just found out that i’m expecting and main goal is to raise this wee one to not be like julia allison.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      She said in that conference call just last week (?) that she had never been to therapy and that the show was a big therapy session for her. No mention of seeing a therapist now. And, in the past, she has told us in chat and mentioned elsewhere that she was seeing a therapist. So who the fuck knows with this chick? She certainly doesn’t strike me as someone who’s ever been in therapy, or stuck with it, given how she remains a complete lunatic who never learns from her mistakes.

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        I’m guessing Donks is the type to attend one or two therapy sessions and then give it up, particularly if the analyst is quickly on to her B.S., which any mental health care professional would be in a flash. Actually, didn’t Julia indicate that she’d gone or was going and then suddenly nothing? This type has no serious interest in changing their “broken” self because they see nothing wrong with being a raging narcissist, despite the constant relationship fallout and burned bridges. They just glom on to the next unsuspecting victim.

    • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      [img]http://i45.tinypic.com/jfhsup.jpg[/img]

      captcha = “now look here”

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        Mirror, mirror on the wall…who is the fairest of them all? Me, you say? Not that tiny bitch Allie? You’re so wonderful, I knew I could count on you, your my bestest friend ever, say you’ll never leave me. I love me…you. Shhh, that balding, skinny, cuntface of a roommate is coming, we can’t let her know about you. [Whispers] Don’t worry, we’ll take care of the tricksies twat later. Bye bunny. Cough. Cough. GOLLUM. GOLLUM. Cough.

        [img]http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRiU4Z1eu5kwv7CYRKpcBcTfh4oLoB6YnkAwF7Kbelh_TRwSA0ovllaQeQQ[/img]

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        fucking brilliant!!!!

      • JFA says:

        Can you imagine how long it takes this bitch to get ready? PUt the damn curling iron down and give your hay hair a rest. Christ. Just take about 17 levels of prep time away, and then a few more. IF there is one thing a man LOVES it’s “try too hard.” I can’t.

        • Who do you think you are? says:

          However, taking a shower and washing her face with something other than her own spit are mandatory.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Obviously that’s her time-saving maneuver. “No time to shower, bunnies! Must apply spackle and fry the pelts into sausage curls!”

            Her morning routine must be very similar to Goldie Hawn’s and Meryl Streep’s in Death Becomes Her.

      • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

        This made my night.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      Congrats on the wee bairn!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Mazel tov on the expectancy!

    • Pelts Off the Charts says:

      congrats on growing a little kitten!

    • CDB says:

      congrats on the great news

  13. ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

    Whoa!! So fat! What happened there? Sorry. Should I repost?

  14. Pelt Up says:

    Would someone please teach this “journalist” how to use an em dash properly? It makes me want to start a Twitter account just to correct all the incorrect dashes in her tweets. PRESS THE LEARN BUTTON, DONKEY.

  15. Donkeycam now! says:

    Donkey:
    @Scandalous – I am both kidding – and have a great therapist.

    Transbraytion:
    Listen to me, you stupid little shit, who do you think you are to joke about my decline? *I* can make jokes about it, but, you???? Who are you?? Are you a Bravo STAR? Do you have your own reality show? I didn’t think so, loser. Dr Bukakke, an excellent plastic surgeon who is also a friend of mine, (do you have many celebrity plastic surgeon friends? Yeah, I didn’t think so) will inject my face into destruction so that nobody notices I am past my expiration date, and I will cry myself to sleep in a pool of melted cupcakes as many times as necessary but I will snag a rich emasculated husband, at some point… and…. Oh!!! 26 “likes” for that old picture of ME! ME! ME! MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I must tweet to the world about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      What us the “both” – is that legalese that she is kidding about the video AND kidding about having a therapist?

      Oh, Donkey.

  16. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    I bet she cons

  17. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    I bet she considers that grifter “life coach” friend of hers to be her therapist.

    Most therapists suck and do more harm than good. But Donk might go to therapy if she knew that narcissists tend to get WORSE in therapy, because it sharpens their manipulation and lying skills.

  18. Donkey of Perdition says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    I read your blogs for inspiration but ended up intimidated. RT @CaroleRadziwill: Writing my blog for next weeks #RHONY. http://say.ly/CAW3xVd

    Carole apparently writes a RHONY blog. Do writers read other writer’s material for inspiration, especially when their topics are extremely similar?

    I’d be scared the other author’s voice would get into my head. I do a lot of writing but its all dry, proforma, legalese bullshit. When I look at forms/other attorney’s work product/templates it’s because I don’t know what I’m doing, in a hurry, or feeling lazy that day. It’s also pretty much accepted in the legal world, i.e. no need to reinvent the wheel.

    I think its kinda fuqed that a professional columnist’s “inspiration” for a Bravo show blog is reading another writer’s blog about another Bravo show. They presumably hired Julia for her voice, not a poor distorted mimeograph of another author’s voice. i.e. finding “inspiration” in the Village Voice’s Christmas list.

  19. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    You know, this song is uniquely applicable to Donkey. At 29, there were still some people who tolerated her. Now the bitchiness and cray and meltyface has driven them all away. Verily, there’s nobody left and she’s all alone. But because she’s a putrifying cunt, not because dudes gettin married.

  20. I’m pretty sure that #29 is one of the half dozen girls who played Ally on the ‘Til Death tv series — she was such an odd-looking little character on the show, but in comedy, her look fits, she’s cute as can be.

  21. Albie Quirky says:

    Y’all, y’all, y’all, we know who Julie Albertson’s “therapist” is already.

    It’s this koo-koo bird.

    Surely she is the best person to edumacate A Donkey about not falling for new age grifting scams and not doing new age grifting scams herself and not getting taken in by dumbass “pickup artists” and managing her money wisely and…

    ….

    Oh. Never mind.

  22. JFA says:

    I miss Jordarded posts.

    • JFA says:

      LOL that was meant for GOMI, which I am reading simultaneously. Oops. I am tired.

      Happy Friday y’all.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        OMG? Like, I heard? That if you are on RD and mention GOMI, like, three times while looking in the mirror? That? Like? Somewhere, out there in the darkness, Jessica Quirk looks into a mirror too?

  23. ks says:

    If she actually had a therapist, we’d see tweets and posts that mention it. In my experience when you actually go to therapy and it’s having some kind of positive effect, you say things like “In therapy today I found out that….” or “My therapist told me…..”

    Just look at how breezily everyone on here mentioned their experiences. Quit being such a compulsive liar you fucking donkey. It does not behoove you.

    I thought she didn’t have health insurance either. So there’s also that.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      She has said she has health insurance now.

      And she has called Erin Pavlina her “therapist” before. Which, whatever. She also called that guy with a diploma mill Ph. D a “doctor”. And she calls herself a “journalist” who is working to build self-esteem in young women (because nothing builds self-esteem like being fired from jobs, fucking around with your face, having fake photoshoots, and chasing every dickwallet in sight. SHE IS THE ELEANOR ROOSEVELT DE NOS JOURS, BUNNIES!)

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Kind of a combination of Eleanor Roosevelt and Lena Dunham who always asks herself WWKMD (What Would Kate Middleton Do), actually.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        If that nut really is Julia’s therapist, that makes me question whether this letting crazy people pick their own therapists idea is really so great.

      • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

        I doubt the kind of insurance she has gives her therapy benefits unless she is paying a shitload a month – cheap Donkey is cheap.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Even the most generous insurance wouldn’t pay for sessions with “lightworker” Erin Pavlina, in any case.

    • Guam in the Shower says:

      T-5 seconds till Donk tweets about what she’s learned from her therapist….

  24. Donkeycam now! says:
    • Albie Quirky says:

      Hee hee hee, Metro.

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      I’ve never seen such little press for a show. That tells you all you need to know.

      Although the Miss Advised Facebook page is ROCKIN’ with 306 Likes!!!!!

    • JFA says:

      LOL. I hate this fucking wench. If you are 35 years old and still following the rules…I don’t wanna say “kill yourself” but…something similarly snarky. Bitch please. “NEVER TEXT A GUY! DO’NT FUCK TOO SOON!” Just stop.

      Sometimes people are single for a reason. I think the only person on that show I will be able to tolerate is the sex obsessed one, because she actually unapologetically likes to fuck.

  25. juliaspublicist says:

    She’s lying. If she had one she would haves brayed about it long ago. Not that it is any of our business, but this is donkey. None of what she posts online is our business.

    • Julia's Crypt Keeper says:

      I thought she would have suggested that RBD was her therapist

    • Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

      EXACTLY.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      I wonder if she has a therapist in the same way that she is an employed columnist.

    • Cut. Don't use that. says:

      The 2 Rules of Donkology

      1. She is ALWAYS lying. Always. About every. Little. Goddam. thing.

      2. See rule #1.

  26. Meow Mix says:

    Totally OT, but I’m sure a lot of you read DListed? Michael K’s Kardashian post today had me dying of laughter. I rarely LOL at things on the internet, but this had me in stitches:

    “I know that OWN has become that struggling, broke down, thirsty hooker who has lost its prime corner on the best part of the stroll and is now lucky to get a wooden coin for a sloppy handjob behind a Datsun parked in the alley, but has it really come to this? Was Courtney Stodden not available for an interview? Tan Mom? OctoMom? The Hot Dog Hooker?”

    http://dlisted.com/2012/06/15/pimp-mama-kris-trained-her-hos-well

  27. Carole Radziwill's buttocks says:

    Excuse me, but can anyone tell me what Julia Allison’s nose is doing up here, nestled between my folds?

  28. K_Swizz says:

    Annnnd now she’s ruined Garfunkel and Oates for me.

  29. Bravo's Bitch says:

    Totally OT and I may deserve an AK kitty attack but just went for my first mammogram and cat ladies GO. I am am old over 40 and put it off because of fear of family breast cancer history, fear of pain, and fear of smooshing my fake boobies. Well, it was amazingly painless and I’m glad I went. Anyhoo public service announcement over. Carry on.

  30. Malformed Face (Like a Bloated Deli Ham Left in a Hot Mercedes C Class) says:

    Mmmm-hmmm… yeah, okay…

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    This is what my (imaginary) wedding registry will look like: http://andrewandgretchen.com/#registry … except w/ 2 more options: animal rights & rape victims

    Me thinks Donkey is trying to get some bray-ttention in the 11th hour before her show….

    • Aspen>Tulips says:

      Oh my god, I can’t wait until that fuckery has its own RBD post. BECAUSE SHE IS SUCH A GIVER.

      Who does she thinks she’s fooling with these sorts of statements? If she ever finds some fool to marry her she’ll be selling Lalique and half-used Crate&Barrel gift certificates on her blerg as soon as she gets back from her honeymoon.

    • Aspen>Tulips says:

      And can we also discuss how fuck that she linked to some couple’s personal wedding site on her Twatter? Granted, a couple whose wedding looks balls out amazing and who clearly does not have any immediate monetary concerns.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Julie Albertson wants people to buy her rape victims for her wedding that isn’t going to happen? I would have stuck with something nice from Williams-Sonoma, but that’s me.

      Also, she is so belated to the festivities because this was already old hat when the huscat and I did it in 2000. Get with the century, JABberwocky!

      • Jack the Bulldog says:

        But Julie Albertson is a victim of rape. Each and every semester. Does this mean that we have to buy her for her own wedding?! Way to go, Julesie. Gifts and charity are one and the same! You figured out all the angles for your fantasy nuptials.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        she is always so OFF. never gets it right.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      Post coming tomorrow.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      As fucking IF.

  31. diluted brain says:

    I couldn’t get through half of that video. I think donkey has been the 31 character since she graduated college.

    OT about therapy: I had tried a therapist for a few months since I feel depressed sometimes. When I first started she didn’t think I needed pills and could work through my issues. Once I went there heavily PMS-ing and she kept suggesting prozac. I don’t want to because we are going to eventually start trying for a baby. I don’t want to get on them to come off eventually (though she says you can take them while pregnant). I feel like my best therapy is exercising. It can’t be normal for therapists to push pills after not that many visits, right? Is it worth trying a new one ? I didn’t feel like I got too much out of it so I stopped going once she wouldn’t let up about meds.

    • virgil reid says:

      i tried finding a therapist after moving for grad school and becoming depressed. my friend from HS had an amazing therapist that really worked with talking things out, bouncing off ideas to overcome his depressive episodes as well as reframing his perspective, etc., so i had similar expectations. unfortunately the therapist i “reached” out to basically wanted me to start popping xanax based on one conversation i had with her. i was so disappointed but unfortunately i don’t think it’s that uncommon for some people to push that. (i have nothing against drugs btw, i just didnt think they were appropriate for my situation.)

      i found exercise works wonders for me too, not only for my mood, but i feel a lot more focused.

      • diluted brain says:

        Thanks for the reply. It seems common that some would push medicine. Same as you, I didn’t find them appropriate for me at this time plus I didn’t feel like talk therapy really was helping either – but maybe you need more of a connection with a therapist.

  32. Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

    Melissa & Arax-Rae will be in the market for therapists when they are the last two in the world to discover the coveted, high-paying career at NomSociety came to a close last year.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Wait, what about Lasagna? This seems to be her only gig!

      • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

        I meant to bring this up. How much do you want to bet that the article was the first that Lasagna had heard of Non-Society shutting down?

        • juliaspublicist says:

          This.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          Lasagne weeps beads of osmosis water in the fridge. Her sauce has congealed, her layers have gone green and she is somehow now full of corn. Julia’s visits grow in number and yet it is always for the tub of French vanilla icing, the remaining blueberry cobbler, the leftover olive and cream cheese sandwiches from Momser’s last bridge lunch, always, always, always.

          She hears a sob to her right and her noodles quiver in horror.

          “Get used to it kid,” says the cranberry guacamole special. “She ain’t never comin’ back.”

  33. Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    “Nothing that’s happened in my life has made sense and in another way, all of it has.” – @CaroleRadziwill

    Wow, so deep, so quotable.. I think I found my new guru. “Sometimes I like to go out and sometimes I like to stay in. Some days I’m happy, others I am sad. Sometimes I think it makes sense to wear a skintight minidress on television, but sometimes I wear size 0 jeans. My life is this amazing, crazy paradox.”

    • Jack the Bulldog says:

      Shit! You just know Thorney is gonna steal this and post it to her FB “fan” page!

  34. Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

    Okay, this is really petty and sad-adult of me, but: pretty sure Jabs has tweaked her Twitter wallpaper to feature herself more prominently. Which is her right, it’s her page, whatever. I seem to recall it being off-center before, not showing our own Kate Middleton/Zooey Dunham in all her glory. I only bring it up as a reminder she has all ze time in ze world! to do these little tweaks. Narcissism is her bidness.

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      I totally noticed that too, and it seemed to happen after someone on RBD pointed it out. She never reads here, except when she does.

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