As I have pointed out before, Julia Allison is unemployed and has not been a relationship columnist for three years. Yes, she has an upcoming column at Elle, but as of yet, that column has yet to materialize despite having been in the works for months. And that is not a job she attained on her own. Miss Advised producers had to get her that job so her participation in a reality show about stupidly inept relationship experts would make sense. But with the most unanticipated reality show in the history of television set to premiere next week (and, yes, Rambo’s One Ocean View is included in that history), it is important to point out that while filming was taking place, Julia Allison was not employed as a relationship expert anywhere except for in her gigantic misshapen head, which makes the following Twitter exchange all the more hilarious:
@JuliaAllison Hi Julia! Looking forward to your Bravo show! I am trying to find your dating advice column, where can I read it?
@TheKevsterFran – Hi there! You can read archives of my dating columns in amNew York, Cosmo & Time Out NY on http://xojulia.com !
@TheKevsterFran – My new column is on http://ELLE.com and I will publicize the link when I have it!
Maybe her participation in Miss Advised does make sense. She was so horrible at dispensing dating advice that no one will pay her do it anymore.
Now that that is out of the way, I would like to have a group discussion. Are we really going to watch this contrived bullshit? I know it would be natural for us to liveblog the crap out of this pile of crap, and do recaps and point at laugh at the bloated husk of a woman who doesn’t realize why she will never have a husband, but will it be worth it? I said this here, but I’d like to reiterate. I think I can say that this show will be a great disappointment for us basement dwelling fatties. I know it will be great to see the cray on national television, but this show and its premise are so contrived that I don’t think it will be worth it. It will pale in comparison to the daily dose of unedited cray we get online. Do I really have to watch this shit for you people? What does my lover Jacy think?
UPDATE: Oh, dear. Someone unleashed the hosebeast by simply pointing out the obvious truth that Julia Allison is not currently a dating columnist, nor has been for years.
@JuliaAllison Sorry, a little confused, commercials on Bravo said you are a dating columnist, but I can’t find anything from 2011 or 2012…
@TheKevsterFran – I was a syndicated technology columnist in 2011, darling, and began writing the http://ELLE.com column in Nov
Oh, right, because a being a technology columnist and a dating columnist are the EXACT SAME THING. I suppose they can be when you use your technology column to justify plowing your political progeny of an ex-boyfriend with alcohol so he would pass out and provide you with an opportunity to snoop through his email and write correspondence as if you were a Navy helicopter pilot.
Why our busted faced Donkey cannot just face the truth and admit that, yes, she is not currently a dating columnist is something I will never, ever understand. I mean, seriously, she can write an Elle column all she wants, but if it is not yet published, then she hasn’t been writing an Elle column since November.
Julia Allison should consider it fortunate that no one will watch a show where she will be exposed for her pathetically inept lies.