Donkey Really Likes This Outfit

So much that she has posted three separate photos of herself wearing the outfit, made it her profile shot and Tweeted it.

It’s better than the usual shit she wears, I suppose. But sit down, Donkey. It’s not that great. Also — your face is still fucked up.

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222 Responses to Donkey Really Likes This Outfit

  1. Fueled by PMS & Chocolate says:

    Of course she had to mention that the shorts were OMGMarcJacobs!!

    Tacky donkey.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      That’s what I noticed too, is she in eighth grade? “Blousth by Theorth-y.”

      LOL PEARL NECKLACE – indeed.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Given what Marc Jacobs wears himself these days (pubic hair lace body-bag, anyone?) I wouldn’t be one for pasting his name on my ass.

    • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

      Cut your fucking hair, Marcia Brady!

  2. Adelaide says:

    Pearls and stockings = fail

    • Bobby-pin mullet, pearls, stockings & bows. on. her. shoes! OMG!

      At this point, I’m almost ready to encourage Donkey to illegally utilize an intern as a stylist. But no, she’s a freak of nature & the lulz at her outfits do a body good.

  3. Bravo's Bitch says:


  4. Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

    “OMG OMG, I’m backstage, you guys!!!!! Look at ME!! BACKSTAGE!!!”

    At a technology conference, you lame ass.

    • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

      Btw, nice tit-thrust in front of OMGfounders!.

      • miss assvice says:

        Of course she is tit thrusting. She is there trying to land a fat wallet omg tech founder or vc. These men still want class and discretion and she has neither. She is a joke.

  5. MY Beach Home says:

    THANK YOU. “I was very proud of my outfit today.” WTF? You are 31 years old bitch. You might consider being proud of uhm, you know, actual accomplishments or I don’t know, contributions to society, acts of kindness, a fulfilling career, running a marathon, taking care of a family or friends in need. You are PROUD of purchasing clothing and putting it on? Priorities. Values. Meaning in your life. Look into it.

  6. Jimbo says:

    She does look really good in that outfit!

    • mule on rouge says:

      Open BOTH your eyes.and look again. This time, scroll up to her face.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I like the shoes. I’ll give her that. And such a step up for her from the usual hooves and/or tacky stripper heels. She should just make Kate Spade her go-to. Those styles are right up her alley and at least they’re semi-grown-up, not overly girly.

    • I will say this: For once, Donkey has managed to position her hind legs in such a way that she isn’t straddling zip codes in an effort to air out the clam dungeon, except I can’t help but wonder if she didn’t fauxtochop on the calves a bit …

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        That’s very true. No wide-stance, no crossing over, etc.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          Alas, she is still doing the “balancing two invisible trays of In-n-Out burgers” bit.

          She never seems completely at ease in front of the camera. I feel her pain – I hate having my picture taken and usually look like an asshole when it happens. But then I’m not posting evidence of my inability to make love to the lens to the four corners of the planet.

        • JFA says:

          She does the cross-over in the laptop photo.

      • Stripper Shoes Will Never Land an OMG FOUNDER says:

        I assume that she toyed with this photo. It looks like she lengthened herself. There’s an app for that.

  7. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    Pearsonally, I can’t claim to be a pearticularly fashion-savvy meow meow, but aren’t those shorts fairly unflattering on her?

    • PinkUberFitnFlareDress says:

      I have many thoughts why the shorts were a poor choice, but commenting to say that I love that you used the term “meow-meow.” One of the many things I call my cats.

  8. melting marionette says:

    this is overdressed? and cold?

  9. ShesJustStupid says:

    I’d like to know about the one in the outfit holding her new Intel UltraBook computer. Shilltastic. Will we ever see that computer again? Maybe that’s the reason she went to the event. To show Intel that she’s all techy?

  10. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    Mrs. Rino Bigfruit.

    • Fashion Girl says:

      Oh HELL NO, SS! You know I already laid claim to him in the last thread. Don’t make me and Signor Big(fruit) throw the evil eye at you!

  11. Fashion Girl says:

    She thinks she looks skinny. All I can see is that she’s wearing pantyhose with Century 21 shorts and heels. MAYBE if she’d worn flats, washed and pressed the shirt (it looks lank and dirty to me), and groomed her mane (see “lank and dirty” above), it would be country club cutesy, but as it stands, she just looks…derisible.

  12. Julia's Old Nose says:

    I’m constantly astounded by her pattern of reflected glory to make up for her lack of achievement at the age of 31. It’s the same reason she surrounds herself with OMG Founders and touts the ivy league credentials of anyone even remotely close to her.

    I just imagine the hilarity of her trying to insert herself into a conversation about JP Morgan, mortgages, and the Greek banking collapse with a table of women who cover these issues for a living. (Also: talking about news events doesn’t mean you’re “bright and capable,” it just means you read the news instead of Googling guys you went on dates with three years ago, Donkey.)

    @JuliaAllison And tonight, my girl Meghann explained the situation at JP Morgan. It never ceases to amaze me how bright & capable my girlfriends are.

    @JuliaAllison My girl Krystal just explained (with clarity, intelligence & ease) the subtleties of both obtaining a mortgage & the Greek banking collapse.

    P.S. What economist-venture capitalist-WSJ subscriber is she trying to impress? You know there’s always a backstory.

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      The “my girl Meghann/Krystal” thing is so cringe-worthy.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Privately they must want to slap her, huh? They truly must be astounded about how stupid she is, and how she doesn’t have a clue about what’s going on in the world unless it somehow impacts upon her husband hunt.

    • virgil reid says:

      WHO WOULD ANNOUNCE THIS STUFF TO TWITTER?? what is she 16 going to pre college summer camp at stern or something where this is something worth telling you parents to show them that you learned something??

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      You know, I’d love to hear some Donkey commentary about The Situation. I don’t give a shit that she was informed about anything.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      I think what never ceases to amaze the Donkey about Meghann and Krystal’s topics of discussion is that what they shared are economic issues which involve some grasp of math. Everyone knows girls shouldn’t be knowledgeable about math because math isn’t tiny and cute and is hard and should be left only to boys. Girls getting all arithmeticy scares boys off. Girls who want boys to like should stick to talking about fashion, weddings, self-help books, the colour pink, tiny dogs and making vague hints about their sexual prowess. If it’s good enough for Donkey, it’s good enough for all the girls

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      I am always amazed at how bright and capable my girlfriends are. They manage to get the fork into their mouth almost every single try.

  13. Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

    The high waist of those shorts make her stumpy legs look less stumpy and the white shirt draws the eye upward to her fucked up face, taking attention away from her chubby knees.

    The shorts look okay in the photo but I imagine they look weirdly soccer-momish in real life.

    Also, does anyone think Julia has a wicked case of adult ADHD? The inability to control what comes out of her mouth, her impulsiveness, chronic lateness, inability to follow through on anything, etc. I’m not an expert on ADHD by any stretch so correct me if I’m wrong. When I looked up the symptoms online, Julia pretty much had them all.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Well that would explain the long-rumored Adderall abuse, which I believe one of our commenters had intimate knowledge of.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      Those are also symptoms of borderline pd.

    • Skirt Pull says:

      I’ve long held this theory, but that it’s been undiagnosed. It would explain SO MUCH.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      No. I am full blown ADHD (not that wimpy ADD stuff), with dyslexia. I was diagnosed in college, put on meds, said fuck this shit after three years, did law school unmedicated, and graduated 19th in my class by busting my ass combined with extreme self discipline.

      While people with untreated ADHD/ADD may exhibit many similar traits as Julia; its not an excuse to be an asshole/dick/bitch (especially considering the amount of therapy she’s received/admitted to). I hate it when people use it as a crutch; it’s no different from any other manageable disease, you recognize it, you fix it and you move on.

      • skye504 says:

        Agreed, DOP. I am ADHD as well, just without hyperactivity. It truly dose effect every aspect of your life, sometimes positively and sometimes EXTREMELY negatively, especially when it comes to short term recall when test-taking, getting called on in class, etc. I have found my situation to be different in that the meds have really helped me immensely, I just stick to a very conservative dose of only one kind of medication and also take steps to make sure I stay as healthy as possible, since things like poor diet/sleep can magnify my symptoms as well. I definitely think Donkey has some sort of hyperactivity issue, but I wouldn’t venture to diagnose her with actual ADHD. Her lack of follow through to me just comes across as arrogance, like whichever way the wind blows her, she’ll go and eff everyone else. It bugs me that unfortunately these are the poster symptoms for us ADHD types, and not things like tenacity, drive, really high social skills, creativity, etc. I see it now as a huge asset rather than a hindrance. It’s made my grad school process that much more fun and yes, challenging. But I wouldn’t change what I have for the world.

  14. Princess WideStance says:

    Those pearls. Have got to go.

    • Julia's Old Nose says:

      She looks like she might as well have just gotten off the bus from Georgetown U with a Vera Bradley bag, bad sausage curls, and some sort of atrocious Tory Burch logo sandals. The canklehausen with this outfit is off the charts… so “suburban-soccer-momish-but-she-thinks-its-cool.”

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Seriously. The outfit could have been made immeasurably cuter with some cute, funky jewellery.

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      I think the pearls are her form of lipstick. She’s letting the boys know she enjoys skeet shooting.

  15. mule on rouge says:

    She dresses like a high school senior from a small town in rural Illinois who reads Cosmo and Glamour religiously and takes a bus into the city once a month to hunt through the consignment shop for anything with a designer label. She puts together outfits based on color only and they are always so off, because the pieces are a fugly clash of styles and seasons and the original owners were suburban moms and grandmas. (Why does this idiot not know how to style her hair without those godawful bobby pins???)

  16. virgil reid says:

    swap out the shoes, she dresses like my friend’s mother who lives on a golf course on cape cod. god these outfits blow.

  17. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    As I said in the previous post, although the outfit is okay and I like the shoes, the context kills it. As does the “Gee I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing!” pose.

  18. Can-Swiss says:

    As Jacy said, better than most days. But she still looks like a Mid-West American suburban hick. I spent the day walking around the Marais in Paris. So funny seeing this photo of Donkey after. What a loser.

    If she didn’t care it wouldn’t be funny. But because she claims to be interested in FASHION and covers fashion week events just makes me laugh.

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      I will be in Paris in July – already worried about looking like an ugly American (even though I lived there throughout my childhood, and spent most of my life outside of the US)

      • Pelts Off the Charts says:

        Jordache I will be in Paris in July too! I am an actual suburban mom, so I will definitely not be looking Parisian chic. But I will be drinking great coffee and wine!

  19. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    Slightly OT but am I alone in absolutely hating pearls? I have never seen anyone wear them well. They may have looked great back when Sargent was painting, but they just seem so lumpen with today’s styles.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Pearls are the Applebees of jewelry: safe, bland and unadventurous.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I actually think they’re ugly. I am not a jewelry person per se, but pearls just look like some shitty crafts project involving mucilage and mothballs to me.

        • CDB says:

          Oyster all over the world applaud your view

          • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

            Now when I’m done chowing down on their delicious asses they won’t.

            Wear them? Fuck that.

            Eat them? All the time.

    • Fashion Girl says:

      Yeah, I feel you on that one. The last time I wore my pearls was at high school graduation, with a white drop-waist dress with a sash.

      I do have a pair of costume pearls that I love – they are huge, Betty Rubble pearls, and they are super meta and cool.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I have an old antique pearl bracelet that I wear sometimes but not necklaces. And I wear it only when I am going somewhere super-conservative. They treat you nicer that way.

      Pearls in very small doses are OK, I think. A modest bracelet, a pendant, maybe earrings. But not multi-strands around your neck, that’s for sure.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I admit I have seen single pearls used beautifully as centers for brooches and similar things – the irregular-shaped ones can be interesting.

        But the six strands around both boobs bullshit went out with ostrich feathers in your hair.

      • Princess WideStance says:

        I love black pearl studs. But yeah, the size and length of Donkey’s necklace is particularly unattractive and passé.

    • Edward R. Burro says:

      I actually love pearls and wear them all the time even though I know they’re uncool. I am meh on most jewelry that most women love.

      • G$'s Paddleboat to Hell - R.I.P says:

        I, too, love pearls and wear them regularly…and I also think I look pretty cool. That said, I’m not rocking an outfit that can only be described as “suburban soccer mom” crossed with “quirky cater waiter” with “i closed my eyes and picked out shoes!” shoes with ’em, so. There’s that.

      • maid of dishonor says:

        I have a long-ish strand (from my godmother) that I wear all the time. I think they’re awesome. I don’t give a damn if they’re considered uncool.

      • psychotic today says:

        I have pearl necklaces I bust out for Easter and Christmas. I was just informed that I will be rocking pearls as part of a bridesmaid outfit this fall. Epic fail in the fall?

  20. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Jacy or JP, any tips or inside info on the whereabouts of Lasagna? Donkey never seems to mention her. Does she even visit when in NYC? Has she been pushed aside?

    When oh when will Lasagna wake up and join the party over here?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      All we have heard is that they have “drifted apart” and are not really in one another’s lives personally or professionally anymore. But Lasagna hates this site and I still think she comes on here sometimes to defend her.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      Lasagna broods in the fridge under a layer of tin foil not quite wide enough to cover the pan. She can feel her noodles drying out ever so slowly…and her ricotta going green. There was a time when her tomatoes were red and hot and coveted by all, when her mozzarella was a golden brown layer of delectability. Now…now she is shoved roughly aside as Julia reaches for the pickles. Big, thick kosher pickles.

      The anger grows.

  21. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    I don’t mind the shoes, top, or shorts individually, but I hate the combination. It looks like something Minnie Mouse would wear.

  22. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    Her midget bodybuilder legs are so disgusting. They look like two Smithfield hams stuffed into heels.

    She has zero reason to be at this event. She’s not a journalist. She’s not in “tech” (whatever that is) in any way whatsoever. Even her fake column that Bravo arranged for the sole purposes of the premise of their show is on “dating and relationships” – not “tech.”

    Donkey, because you read every word here…take this advice. Your only hope of landing the wealthy husband you want is to start learning to love the taste and smell of octogenarian ballsack. Embrace your inner Anna Nicole Smith (since you’re also a tacky hick) and accept this. You can still get your fuck you money and lout about the house and drive a Mercedes and go to a country club (just like your Mummsy and Dadums!), but it will have to be on the dime of some poor rich idiot with a heart murmur and a thing for green vaginal skin tags.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      As tacky and dim as she was, Anna Nicole Smith knew how to gold-dig. I mean, ultimately it didn’t work out, but in a sense she was leagues ahead of this burra.

  23. Stripper Shoes Will Never Land an OMG FOUNDER says:

    It is über tacky to wear pumps with shorts. If she wanted to wear heels with shorts, she should have worn a platform wedge. I think she looks like a prostitute here.

  24. Worrisome Pelts says:

    I’m always relieved when I see a person in high-waisted “dress shorts.” It means I don’t even have to speak to them to determine whether or not they’re an asshole.

  25. Peltergeist says:

    Look, I know she can’t help that she was born with those legs. And I’m not saying she should always have to cover them up. But why does she insist on showing them off ALL the time? Everyone else in this photo is wearing jeans. She could wear dark jeans and those heels, or if she really wanted to play biznez laydee she could wear a tailored (NOT WIDE LEG) suit. I think her style mantra now (snort) is just to wear the opposite of whatever’s appropriate so she can stand out as much as possible.

    • The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

      “I think her style mantra now (snort) is just to wear the opposite of whatever’s appropriate so she can stand out as much as possible. ”

      Are you kidding? Pretty sure that’s always been her style mantra, hence the Paris Hilton hooker outfits at Georgetown.

      • Peltergeist says:

        No, I’m not kidding. I thought her style mantra before was to pick a cartoon character or teen idol and do the “sexy” version.

    • Cut. Don't use that. says:

      She shows them off because she honestly think she’s got FUCKIN’ BANGIN’ STEMS, YO!

      Its like everything else in her life. I’m not an overly cruel body snarker. In fact, my body is disgusting (and I therefore keep it covered the fuck up). However this insane bovine has made it clear in hundreds/thousands of pictures that she thinks HER LEGS ARE HAWWWTTTT.

      Donkey, no. You’re a weirdly shaped person, inside and out.

  26. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    No matter what the occasion or what awful or ok-ish outfit she wears, she winds up looking like someone who’s never worked a day in her life.

  27. The Cabinet of Dr. Bobby says:

    She always overdoes one or two details to make it look over-the-top rather than natural and chic.

    She’d look great if she lost the pearls and went with a simple gold or silver chain necklace (the kind you see in Ann Taylor these days… yes I know that’s a mom brand but still) and wore some skinny jeans or simple straight legs in a nice, dark wash. She could keep the pumps with the bows and look a lot more put-together.

    If she wanted to keep the pearls, she could keep them as earrings or a bracelet rather than the too-obvious necklace. Tiffany’s is played out, I know, but they sell a really cute pearl bracelet that Donkey would probably eat up.

    Maybe a nice matte red lipstick that goes with the undertones of her skin, too. It’s not a creative outfit by any means – the whole white blouse thing is a cliche for a reason – but it would look more adult and pulled together than this current Minnie Mouse drag queen crap.

  28. Julia's Old Nose says:

    Sorry as I’m not in the NY tech “scene,” but can someone explain Rachel Sklar circa 2012 to me? She seems normal and smart, so why is she friends with Le Donk?

    • Cut. Don't use that. says:

      She’s not normal or smart. She’s an idiot.

      She’s similar to Julia in that she’s completely out of her league, trying to swim in the “tech” scene with no real insight, technical knowledge or anything of substance to bring to the table. She gets by on an outgoing personality (booze) and a really shocking lack of shame in terms of Tweet-stalking people for attention. She’s completely gross…like a Julia Allison who is pulling it off just slightly better.

  29. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    Aubrey Sabala @Aubs 4m
    While dancing my ass off with @jellyd last night, I finally realized the origin of “That shit cray.” Proof I’m the least hip person alive.
    View details ·

    Awww, Donkey, Forever Alone…

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      I cannot even imagine the level of insanity this must have caused in Donkey’s mind when she read it.

  30. Jane says:

    Anyone know a good dermatologist in SF? My skin’s looking a little rough.


    She looks stupid here. She looks like she just got some serious second base action with that top, it’s all fally-offy and “t-t-t-t-tug me, i wanna be dirty”.

    Those shorts suck. gams? or hams…. Those legs make her legs look fat.

    HEELS! LOL! Look, don’t wear heels with super dupe short shorts.. What do you think this is, the Miss America swimsuit competition? DON’T WEAR HEELS, PERIOD. THEY HURT YOUR FEET. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOMEN. Whores wear heels because they want SO BAD to attract foot perverts. That is the message you send. Wanna be taller? TOUGH SHIT. Instability is not an attractive attribute.

    She thinks she looks sexually attractive in this outfit. Sorry to crush your dreams Julia but I bet you smell like old grandma perfume instead of stripper perfume. Tell me that’s not true. You know what would work to lure men at a tech conf? head to toe.

    1) Wash your hair. Cut your hair down to a bob. Dear heart, you need this.
    2) Get some black square glasses.
    3) Loose white tank top. Red bra.
    4) Fleece hoodie. You can choose the color, but it has to be black.
    5) Get some perfect fitting jeans. Low-rise booty enhancers.
    6) Find some SNEAKERS. like old schol adidas or chucks or something.

    • Anon says:

      what is this… i don’t even…

      • Princess WideStance says:

        God, don’t you know? If you wear heels, you are clearly a whore.

        You really have to take it beyond just the critique of one tacky asshole in a bad outfit, and make it about all women and how men get to dictate what they wear. That’s the way things are properly done.

        • At first I couldn’t verbalize my reaction, being stunned into silence & having to pick up the phone & shit, but now I’m laughing, because I’m pretty sure that this is who recently went rabid on me for questioning if Donk’s hairline was receding & asked me if I was ’10 years old’ (paraphrasing, but it was something like that).

          LOL, KS, you goofball.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:


      White tank top, red bra? Yes, that’s all class.

      No heels? What??

    • Donkolnikov says:

      you’re weird.

    • 11th Wang says:


    • Sake Bombardier says:

      I agree with you about heels, but I know I am in a minority of women on that one. Bedroom only for me.

      She also really does need a bob. I remember Francesca/Chescalea (sp?) ‘shopped JA with some short ‘dos and there was a lot of potential. Too bad Donk just. refuses. to listen.

      I mean, she should at least wake up to the fact that she has the smartest haters on the planet! Take advantage, Donkey.

  32. KS says:

    I just had a jarring revelation. What if she is so broke she can’t afford new clothes and has to wear her mom’s hand-me-downs? It all makes sense now, the over-50 look, the hiked up pants, the pearls, the way she used to post pictures of frocks she wanted when she had a blog.

    I feel bad now for making fun of a “needy” person.

    • mule on rouge says:

      It would appear that Julia volunteered to water Granny’s plants on that last visit to Chicago… and brought along an empty suitcase.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      It’s sad how plausible this is.

    • Peltergeist says:

      She has a ridiculous amount of clothes. If she’s that broke, she should be able to mix and match from her current wardrobe like the rest of the US population. Her problem isn’t that she’s out of clothes. Her problem is that she’s a total label whore and would rather buy a $250 pair of shorts than an entire generic wardrobe.

  33. melting marionette says:

    OT, but apparently you _can_ be single, and have everything. apologies in advance for the long URL – i am running desk errands and our office firewall blocks the shorteners.

    Single and Off the Fast Track
    Married friends ‘are always asking me for my fun New York City gossip and my “Sex and the City” lifestyle,’ says Melissa J. Anderson. But that ‘is not exactly the case.

  34. Donkey Expertin says:

    I do not hate this outfit. What makes it so despicable is the constant need to flag the world down and point “ME ME ME LOOK AT WHAT I DIDZ HERE!” over some fucking clothes. So you know how to troll the second floor of Bloomingdales and spend too much money on a basic white shirt. The fact the Donksie thinks she deserves a standing ovation for that…the NPD, it hurts.

    Also the posing. Always with the goddamn posing. Just once can she dress herself for a big girl event and not need to document it?

    PS: She is thirty-one years old.

    • mule on rouge says:

      LOOK AT ME, Mommy and Daddy! I got dressed all by myself!

      • mule on rouge says:

        (Mumsers prints out the picture and puts it on the fridge, between a crude drawing of a heart and a hand turkey made out of construction paper and stick glue. Then, after a heavy sigh, she repositions the 8×10 of Brit ‘n Allie’s wedding portrait on top of everything.)

    • bitchface says:

      right! I wouldn’t even notice it one way or the other, just looks like CLOTHING and she looks normal, big deal….

  35. TheSpanishInterrogation says:

    Why is donkey tweeting Diablo Cody? And why does Diablo even respond? Gross.

  36. ShesJustStupid says:

    Thank god she’s still planning on crashing Princeton Reunions in the future.

    Julia Allison shared a link.
    2 hours ago near New York

    Taylor just emailed me this link. I’m not gonna lie: I love this chick and I WILL party with her when I next crash Reunions.

    The Ivy League Hustle (I Went to Princeton, Bitch)
    Just in time for Reunions! This one’s for all the ladies whose alma mater salts up their game. Written, Performed and Edited by Nikki “2k” Muller Shot by Stu…

  37. Worrisome Pelts says:

    You know, the more time I spend with this picture, the more I like it, too:


    • KS says:

      I know what you mean. I really want to do a Statue of Justice type thing but I can’t figure out what she should be weighing.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        I tried the lady justice thing, but her hands are too close to the same level for me to come up with anything really funny. Loving the lamp shade.

    • Dr. Gary says:


      The lobster claws are killing me.

    • Flyingdonkeycopter says:

      The ham pantaloons look much better.

  38. miss cankles says:

    i feel like julia gets all her fashion inspiration from pornos about office sluts. because there is no other explanation for these outfits.

  39. juliaspublicist says:

    Is she wearing panty hose?

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Worse: dance team sparkle tights. This pack mule can’t resist the trappings of a Lipizzaner.

      • juliaspublicist says:

        Ugh. Tacky Donkey is tacky.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          To be fair, I don’t know if those are sparkle tights or just unfortunately snug pantyhose, but she does wear dance tights sometimes.

          • Frequent Liar Miles says:

            She does sort of look like she’s about to bust out into a little tap dance at any moment.

        • juliaspublicist says:

          She looks like a captain America backup damceron a seven day coke bender.

      • JFA says:

        Dance team sparkle tights! I was on the dance team in 8th and 9th grade! I had those. They were very thick…and then we wore them with blindingly white keds and white scrunchy socks. Long Island represent.

      • Sake Bombardier says:

        So, she’s wearing leg Spanx, basically? She needs Spanx for her Ego.

  40. ShesJustStupid says:


    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 29m
    “To attract something you want, become as joyful as you think that thing would make you. The joy, not the thing, is the point.” @MarthaBeck

  41. NonSobriety says:

    This is how to do those shorts, you cow:

    “I’m so proud of this outfit.” Is no different than “I dressed myself today! I’m a BIG GIRL!” STFU.

    Also, whenever I see her any likeness of her, I always imagine her making a noise that resembles the way Sloth from the Goonies sounded when they first discovered him.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      The lady in those pics looks tacky, too. Those shoes! So Donkesque!

      • NonSobriety says:

        I agree re the shoes, I have a general distaste for platform pump clompers. But otherwise I like the outfit. The blouse, jacket, glasses, accessories etc

    • Sorry, much as I hate Donkey’s bowed legs shoes, Ima hafta say, they’re a huge improvement over the FMP Hooker Heels in that link, which is what everyone here rags on her to quit wearing. She even wears the shorts better, IMO. Did I really just say that? I’m not even drinking (yet)!

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Agreed. Not a big fan of that outfit, in particular those God-awful shoes.

  42. NonSobriety says:

    “I had a dream about my Grandmother last night … that she secretly owned a pink corvette, which we only discovered after she died. Yes, that was really my dream. God, I miss her so much.”


    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Transbraytion: I had a dream that NGMB left MEEEEEEEEEEEE a pink Corvette.

      • KS says:

        Meta-Transbraytion: I had a dream in which NGMB left me something.

        Freudian Transbraytion: My Mother’s mother fucked me over.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Really? She misses her? Because all I read is that she wishes NGB left her a pink car.

    • NorseHorse, Task Ass says:

      “Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
      My Grandmother & I used to design miniature dollhouses together – but this is next generation! And so good for girls.”

      Anyone else think this is completely made up? Designing miniature dollhouses with Grandmother? Like, were floorplans and light carpentry involved? She means “I had a dollhouse”, Grandmother nodded at it. “That’s nice.”
      Serial exaggerator. So good for girls.

      • Of COURSE Julia Allison DESIGNED doll houses w/ GMB’$!

        Where else do you think Donkey first fell in love w/ architecture, & colors (bright)? Because she cared soooo much for GMB’$ privacy, she only posted fauxtos of granny in her nightgown, or of her (barely) still-warm hand while on her deathbed, but never, ever those of the many beloved dollhouse dollhouse blueprints that they so painstakingly designed together.

        (That reminds me, I just found my dvd of “Welcome to the Dollhouse” & can’t remember a thing about the movie.)

      • G$'s Paddleboat to Hell - R.I.P says:


    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Granny was secretly…Angelyne?

  43. Azalp Yerbua says:

    She looks fine, and I’d bet money she looks better than any of you.

    Self-centered narcissist? Sure. But, this article is a fail.

    • You don’t look too hot yourself, Aubrey Plaza

      • A Donkey is a Ass says:

        Hey, Aubrey Plaza usually looks pretty hot herself. She’s not A Donkey.

        • A Donkey is a Ass says:

          Having said that, A Donkey looks like a pathetic suburban mom in this photo. Luckily, she hasn’t had a litter of little donkeys to justify her look.

        • 🙂 Personally, I’m a huge fan of (the real) Aubrey Plaza — I just wanted to see if Azalp Yerbua would get all defensive or act stupid what … he/she is a poster who was here before & when I’d said ‘Is that you, Aubrey Plaza?’, he/she claimed not to have any idea who that is — kind of a weird response coming from someone whose online name is Aubrey Plaza spelled backwards.

          • A Donkey is a Ass says:

            I like you and I like you’re point of view on A Donkey, but that shit went way over my head.

            I get where you’re coming from, but there’s no way Aubrey Plaza (my future ex-wife) would be supportive of A Donkey.

          • A Donkey is a Ass says:


            Fuck my mediocre education.

          • No, aDisA, I’m not saying that I think it’s the real AB, but I’m sure that it’s an AB fanatic, so for he/she to say that he/she had no idea who AB is was just weird (I get why someone wouldn’t under their real name, but to do so under an anony, when there’s even a Azalp Yerbua twitter that mentions AB, Parks & Rec, etc., just seems almost as bizarre as coming here to stand up for Donkey).

            Sorry, this really is convoluted now.

          • A Donkey is a Ass says:

            It’s cool, I simply became protective of Aubrey Plaza for no real reason whatsoever. If it’s simply an AB who happens to be A Donkey fan as well, then fuck that person. But not you.

            My shit is convoluted as well. Still, fuck A Donkey.

          • Azalp Yerbua says:

            It’s just a coincidence. I’m from Armenia.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I didn’t know there was a city called Seattle in Armenia.

          • Armenia, you say? So, how much does it pay to be a Julia Allison Twitter follower, & is that enough in Armenian $$ for your family to buy a donkey?

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      I don’t think it purports to be an article (unlike Donkey’s “articles” that consist of a bunch of crowd-sourced quotes strung together.)

    • KS says:


    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      What article?

    • Donkey of Perdition says:


    • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

      She’s ugly on the inside Azalp. Plastic surgery and injections can’t help that.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      Wow it’s been Donkey’s years since we’ve had a JAB white knight in here. I’m not sure what the correct procedure is anymore.
      Let me put together a nice cheese plate, crack open a bottle of wine and you can tell us more about yourself. And more importantly, you can tell us more about ourselves and our lack of good looks, decent social skills, pleasing body shape, mental stability and our overall general dislikeability.
      Thanks again for your feedback. It’s greatly appreciated.

  44. Imminent Meltdown says:

    Sorry Jacy, that outfit is a only a little less than a million miles of UGLY.
    No better or worse than anything she has embaressed herself in … in PUBLIC.

    ( Don’t get soft on Us now. It is really Bad!)

  45. K_Swizz says:

    I have that exact same shirt! I got it for 3.99 at Goodwill.

    Wait-you mean Donkey is wearing a generic white button down of which almost every person who has ever held a (real) job owns a version of?

  46. NorseHorse, Task Ass says:

    From yesterday, but:
    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Final day at Techcrunch Disrupt, interviewing people about social media etiquette & “outlet rage.”

    How she doesn’t just drop from exhaustion and shame from typing that tired, “social media etiquette” for the billionth time is beyond me. Social media etiquette- a FUCKING MYSTERY! that will never be solved!

    • Prof. F Camping says:

      excuse you, the rules have not been CODIFIED YET!

    • bitchface says:

      it’s obvs a mystery to HER….

    • A Donkey is a Ass says:

      Her entire life now revolves around this here website. No one pays attention to her except for us cat people. We’re all she has, and as it turns out that’s really fucking sad.

    • JFA says:

      I thought she was a relationship expert now? Isn’t that what she LITERALLY plays on tv? So who the fuck is she interviewing anyone for? Jesus Christ pick a career lane.

  47. anon says:

    JellyD’s birthday was also yesterday, and Julia wasn’t there and didn’t tweet him happy birthday…

    Aubrey Sabala ‏@Aubs
    Happy birthday to my favorite pastry, @JellyD! The man, the myth, the gold hotpants-wearing donut. We’ll party tonight!
    8:35 AM – 23 May 12 via Twitter for Mac · Details

  48. anon says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    “To attract something you want, become as joyful as you think that thing would make you. The joy, not the thing, is the point.” @MarthaBeck

    17h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out

    17h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    I would subscribe to a newsfeed that explained in detail how all the “hot events” I wasn’t invited to were actually super lame. FOMO solved.
    11:47 PM – 23 May 12 via web · Details

    19h Leah Berry ‏@LeahBerry5
    @JuliaAllison And yet you say you really want to get married. Talk about mixed signals. Might want to stop dating and get that sorted.

    18h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @LeahBerry5 – yeah, that’s pretty much what the first season of my @Bravotv show Miss Advised covers. 😉
    9:57 PM – 23 May 12 via Echofon · Details

    19h Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @LeahBerry5 – LOL, yes!! I have commitment (and other) issues.
    8:52 PM – 23 May 12 via web · Details

    Leah Berry ‏@LeahBerry5
    @JuliaAllison Are you as fickle with your men as you are with your cities? Honestly can’t keep up with your constant changes.

  49. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:
    • Cut. Don't use that. says:

      Three things:

      – I realized I instinctually turn the volume on my compute down as long as it can go before watching a Donkey clip. It’s reflex at this point.

      – She really can’t film a NINETEEN SECOND video clip without putting the camera on herself? Really? REALLLY!!!!!!!

      – Donkey

    • helobabe says:

      I really liked the other video from Shira’s birthday, too. You know what is so fun? When two people are trying to maneuver a large birthday cake through a crowd of people and a donkey stands directly in the way with a camera!

  50. Azalp Yerbua says:

    Look, say whatever you like about Julia Allison. I don’t really care. But this website is just her reflection in a fun house mirror warped by the sadness of your misanthropy.

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