Julia Allison Lets The C-Flag Fly Once More

For those of us who have been following this shit-show for awhile, we all remember “Jewish comedy writer.” That’s the dude whose religion Donkey felt it necessary to bring up every time she mentioned him. It was the summer of 2009, Harvard Harley wasn’t biting, and so she ended up on two dates with this guy. The first one went so well they ended up necking in the street and she promptly went on a radio show to breathlessly report this unusual New York event. The second date was a disaster, because she was soon Tweeting about how boring it was and suggesting the Jewish comedy writer wasn’t actually funny. Because if anyone knows comedy, people, it’s Julia Allison! A year later, and she was still Tweeting about how it was the worst second date she’d ever had in her life.

The guy was a writer for the Jimmy Fallon show — now the head monologue writer — and three years later, Donkey felt it necessary to publicly humiliate him by Tweet-butting into a conversation with at least one celebrity that had absolutely nothing to do with her. Oh God, the Cankleshausen. Again. And again. And again.

JuliaAllison: Huh. I went on two very … odd … dates with JB. RT @mindykaling: Welcome @JeremyBronson how psyched are @MCWarburton and I

JuliaAllison:@mindykaling @JeremyBronson @MCWarburton - if I recall, he actually took a call from his agent in the middle of one. Or was it his mom??

JeremyBronson: @JuliaAllison @mindykaling @MCWarburton Mean!

Donkey is nothing if someone who doesn’t hold a long grudge. Because apparently she’s been desperate to ensure that Greg Gutfeld, the Red Eye host who banned her from his show due to her shitty work ethic, knows about her upcoming Bravo reality show “stardom.” When someone told him what she’s up to, he said “a sad Bravo reality show” was exactly what she deserved.  Yesterday on The Five, the panel discussed the dude in Tennessee with 30 kids kids he can’t support.  Gutfeld said on air that the guy was bound to end up on a “sad Bravo reality show.”

Oh honey.

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253 Responses to Julia Allison Lets The C-Flag Fly Once More

  1. melting marionette says:

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  2. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    Also, what is so criminal about taking a call from someone during a date? I mean if the dude had on the phone for a half-hour, I’d get it. But to just pick up in case it might be something important, and have a brief conversation? I wouldn’t give a shit as long as the guy excused himself and kept it short. Special snowflake asshole.

    • melting marionette says:

      i’m sure she has *never* done the same thing. who spoke at her brothers’ wedding as maid-of-honor with her cellphone in her hand? what would have happened if it had rung during her spiel?

    • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      I’m recalling the picture she posted of that guy’s bachelor party (you know who I mean … this is my ex high school sweetheart blah blah blah shut up donkey). Bunch of dudes and JABa sitting at a table. Only one person in the group felt the need to have their cell phone front and center on the table within reach.
      One guess.
      You, sir, are correct!

    • JFA says:

      She has a hard time understanding people with jobs and lives. Give her some credit.

      • She who is too lazy & braytarded to hold a job of her own is secretly jealous of people who do hold jobs.

        To wit: she shows no regard for other people’s work obligations — abuses couch-surfing hospitality by arriving in the wee hours of a week morning; loudly bangs dudes on her hosts couches; tweets that @astrologyzone should fire their IT guy because she couldn’t find her whore-0-scope; calls &/or faxes employers to tattle that their employees surf the net during office hours; shows up uninvited at College Humor to disrupt the work environment w/ @LillyDog’s floor-shitting; furiously calls &/or texts dudes at work, then publicly bitches about ‘em when they don’t respond immediately) …

        On the other end of the spectrum, Donkey has no compunction whatsoever about abusing the system to use interns illegally to do her grunt work for her — SHE doesn’t earn her keep, so why should anyone else, right?

      • So. Blessed. says:

        Her “social currency,” a term which I imagine is bandied about at TechCrunch, is a greasy foil wrapped coin of melted carob-infused kale chips, cheesy skillets, and scheme juices.

        “Oh hai Mindy Kaling! We are so alike–why don’t you reply to my tweets? I mean, congrats for whatever–I’m at TechCrunch and have a carbuncle of a reality show lancing soon #ad and can’t imagine why you’d tout a loser who TAKES A CALL DURING A DATE? Who does that? Anyway, that was a joke, bunny, and you should tell all of your friends about a face product for men that is revolutionary…”

    • KashMoney says:

      eh, I think it’s pretty obnoxious in general. the fact that it bothers her so much, though, speaks more to her than to him.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      1) Julia would have to have an agent to understand the importance of taking an agent’s call

      2) Julia would have to have a CAREER to understand the importance of taking an agent’s call

      3) THIS IS A MAJOR MAJOR BITCH MOVE – Mindy isn’t your girlfriend Julia – she is a creator and executive producer – SHE IS THIS GUY’S BOSS and talk show writers kill for the opportunity to move to sitcom writing and for you to SMEAR HIS NAME is so f’ing cunty

      KARMA: Julia, I know you’ve always wanted Mindy to know who you are – well when the writer’s gather in the room on June 1 be sure that because of this display THEY WILL ALL BE MAKING FUN OF YOU. That is a promise.

    • Random Snowflake says:

      Like Julia has never fucked with her iPhone during a date.. She needs to shutup and sit down.

  3. Grammarian says:

    sad.com

  4. JFA says:

    She’s out of control. Seriously. Just horrendous. I have no idea why she is so excited about an uncoming show that a) will fail miserably and everyone knows it and b) will portray her as the cunt that she really is. Wow, youv’e really made it. you are 5 seconds away from being portrayed as an asshole on television. Slow clap.

    I can’t even begin with the cuntery surrounding men. He just wasn’t that into you, you fucking bitch. Let. It. Go. Get help. Because if anything kills boners, it’s being insane. There is no hope for you, dating wise.

    • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

      Indeed. Reality TV “fame” is bottom of the barrel and fleeting. Sanjaya? Heidi and Spencer?–I can’t even remember their surnames. Miss Maligned has no hook and my huscat (who pays little attention to my Albertson interest) couldn’t “tell one broad from the other” when I forced him to sit through that boring preview. Does Donkey really believe people with genuine talent and actual careers, e.g. Mindy Kaling, give a shit about this garbage?

  5. emma bourricot says:

    This is rich. For the old guard here, I find this as amusing as Paul Kinsey in a Hare Krishna temple.

    • emma bourricot says:

      I switched to Google Chrome and my avatar has changed! Is it just me or is my face looking a little saggy? It wasn’t Restylane, I swear.

      • mule on rouge says:

        You may have ground your teeth down with all that gnashing. That can lead to bulldog face, so beware!

    • Donkeycam Now! says:

      Hare Donkey,
      Hare Donkey,
      Donkey Donkey,
      Hare Hare.

  6. JFA says:

    Also obvious desperate attempt to get him to pay attention to her again. Even though he was clearly “So boring!” Yoo hoo, comedy writer with important friends! I’m still here! Remember me! Hi!!!!

    • This one is a no-boner says:

      These people smell her desperation a mile away. She is barking up the wrong tree. She’s about to be quasi-semi infamous for being an insufferable and delusional loon, not a Special Snowflake. Does she really not see this? Is she not watching the same previews we are? Does she really not know that she’s an average chick that stuck around NY long enough to fuck a few connected people and then was banished (and friendless) in her parents downtown Chicago (basement equivalent)? Oh god this will be so, so good. Well, for us, since we’ll be the only audience… BUT STILL!

  7. mule on rouge says:

    She must have had JCW on her mind when she dropped an “Oy!” in one of her tweets yesterday. I don’t think she’s trotted out that expression since the last time she dated a Jewish boy (which may have been him). But then, I only read her tweets when they appear on RBD.

  8. dd says:

    Good god Donkey,

    Let it go. You had two dates with this guy three years ago. He didn’t like you. Most people are not going to like you because you are an awful person, but that is besides the point. You look like a bitter loser when you talk about being rejected three years after the fact. Calling this guy boring just because he was not into you is juvenile and it is not going to help you get dates now. You haven’t had a serious boyfriend in years. Think about why no one wants to seriously date you and then think about your own behavior. Try to make the connection.

    • This one is a no-boner says:

      Exactly. She really believes she can’t get a long term man because she’s just so out there and famooooooous on the internets! She has to put it out there! Umm, no our dear heart, you are a famewhore. It’s embarrassing for them, and it should be for you. Accept that you are mediocre, please. You’re 31. You need to grow up. These delusions of grandeur are so… teenage-y.

      • Julie Booger Is Miss Advised Bravo Miss Advised Andy Cohen Miss Advised Miss Advised says:

        I could be sympathetic to her if she crawled her way up to mediocre, but she doesn’t qualify as that word connotes some degree of adulting via a boring job, unfulfilling relationship, mortgage… Julie Boogers’ life MIGHT meet mediocre 19 year old standards with the abandoned lifestyle blog and cuter, dumber roomie, but as a 31 year old woman she is nothing more than pitiable.

  9. Scooby Don't says:

    So when we call her out on heinous things she’s done in the past, we’re angry jealous losers who should just let it go because it’s so long ago and really who cares?
    When Donkey concocts a grudge for some slight, real or imagined, that happened months or years ago, she’s totally justified and just acting like any mature adult does.
    Glad that’s been cleared up.

  10. emma bourricot says:

    Julia, 17 hours ago: “Show me a person who enjoys derision and I’ll show you an emotionally stunted human being.”

    And now this, six hours ago. Donkey. Come on. I MEAN.

  11. Worrisome Pelts says:

    I think Donkey’s jealous because this guy’s mom and agent actually call him.

    • Not to mention, they interrupted Donk’s endless braying about Donk.

      WHO DOES THAT?
      WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?
      HOW DARE THEY, THOSE SHITHEADS!

      • This one is a no-boner says:

        Talk about a dating faux pas! I mean, really. A call from your mom… or even your agent who will get you a gig? That’s almost as bad as a date that gets trashed in the back of a limo with cameras rolling and slumping over the door handle braying: Whhhaaaasssss ahh girrrlllll gotttta doooo round here tooo getttt a kisssssss (hiccup)?

        Now THAT is a bad date, IMnotsoHO.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          “What’s a girl have to do to get a kiss around here?”

          “Um, have a different face?”

      • Donkeycam Now! says:

        Yes, and the phone keep interrupting her tweets.

  12. JFA says:

    OMG that radio interview is the greatest. Really. I can’t even describe.

    • JFA says:

      ew. My god. “I have a booty call…I’m sleeping with someone. I am having sexual relations with someone.” JEsus Christ. She does normal things like have sex and thinks it makes her endlessly fascinating and desirable. I can’t!!!!

      • JFA says:

        She is literally out of control in this interview. I am aghast.

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          The cuntitude and delusion were on full display during that interview. Isn’t it where she brayed: “I AM NOT RANDOM! I HAVE A TALK SHOW ON NBC!!”

          Don’t make me listen to it again.

          • JFA says:

            I’m procrastinating majorly and I cannot stop listening. She is OFF THE CHARTS INSANE in this.

            She goes from “I have a booty call!” to “I make guys wait 8-11 dates! Never pay for dates EVERSSSS!” And endless braying about the jewish writer, even tho date 2 sucked. I’m gonna take a wild guess – he just wasn’t that into her.

          • Also? The guy is very easy on the eyes … only thing better than a funny date is a good-looking, funny date, so you know it rankled Donkey’s deflated raft-ass that he found her neither amusing nor hawt.

          • JFA says:

            Oh totally. She was completely into him. She is insane and has no real idea what being into someone entails, but she clearly was in her warped way. Date 2, I am guessing, he showed zero interest in her. Hence she was “so bored” and threw him under the bus on Twatter.

            Class. You have none.

  13. Anon says:

    Long time lurker here… this post just pushed me over the edge.

    What a horrible, horrible human being. I always thought she was just inane and stupid, but this. THIS.

    Cuntbitchface. Does she even know mindy kaling. It is so mind-bogglingly rude to butt into a post congratulating this guy and point out that she thinks he’s boring. Mind-boggling. Face-exploding cuntiness.

    • JFA says:

      She’s pure evil. And I officially think that she will be single forever. Sad face.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        She’s AT LEAST never having children of her own at this point. She’ll have to settle for being the drunk, obnoxious aunt to baby brother Britt’s kids.

        • JFA says:

          I give her maybe, MAYBE a 1 in 5 chance (that’s being generous) of finding an ugly, semi-rich older schlub who will bankroll her. She will have a hideously tacky wedding (his second), a hideously unhappy marriage, maybe shit out ONE kid because everyone else is doing it/she wants to trap him, foist the kid on her nanny, and cheat on the husband with one of his employees.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      The beauty of it is is that Mindy Kaling now thinks she’s an insane, nasty asshole. Nice going, Donk. Only you could come off as a Gold Star Cunt in an attempt to suck up to a celebrity.

      • Anyone else wondering if Mulia Mallison has just unintentionally secured herself as a character whom Mindy Kaling & Jeremy Bronson will write comedy sketches about, portraying her for the 4ever alone pathetisad social pariah that she is?

        #FingersAreCrossed

        • OMGPearskank says:

          They probably think that there are worthier targets out there. At least that’s what I hope they think.

    • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

      these are my favorite. always fascinating what the final triggers are to push lurkers over the edge. she’s so spectacularly awful we have all had that moment and I relish others sharing in the freeing release!!!

      • darkwing duck says:

        My break was the other day when she twatted about Tyrion Lannister ( full on geek here). Just no.

      • Anon says:

        Seriously. I was wondering where my line was. That was it. Now let’s see if she can push me out of anon. I can’t put it past her.

    • bf says:

      Oh I was rung too!!

  14. Donkey felt it necessary TRIED to publicly humiliate him

    #FTFY :-)
    NO one takes Julia Allison Bauger seriously — FAIL-WHALE DONKEY FAILS AGAIN!

    Seriously, Donkey, this is your life now, being so deluded as to somehow think it’s always about you, therefore insinuating yourself uninvited into other people’s convos actually makes sense to you? I guess, if your brain is forever running a loop of an imaginary romcom dating life & your primary interaction w/ ‘people’ mainly involves bought-&-paid-for Fanistans, you start to think that everyone on the internet is just a bit player waiting to be factored into the Twitterverse as it revolves around you, right Julia Allison?

    Damn, woman! It’s incredibly sad that you’re such a hose beast, because now more than ever is the time when someone (you!) needs people in her life who give enough of a shit to facilitate at the bare minimum some mental therapy, if not a probable extended in-patient stint of observation. TRANSBRAYTION: It’s more than just your stanky plastic pelts that are furiously unraveling at warp-speed — GET HELP!

  15. KashMoney says:

    I think what’s happening here is that, as Jacy and others have pointed out many times before, whenever she feels on an upswing she drops her “so nice” charade and the nasty, nasty thug cunt within comes out.

    One of the reasons I suspect that she keeps changing personas is because her true self is so hideous and so despicable and so instantly off-putting that “14-year-old Taylor Swift fan” is a huge improvement–at least in terms of social reward.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      “Thug cunt.” I like.

      And yes, you are bang on, and this is typical of narcissists. They are much more likeable when they’re defeated and in pain; they actually seem willing to explore whether there might possibly be something wrong with them that might have spurred their latest downfall. They can occasionally be contrite and remorseful in this state.

      But when things are going well and they think they’re on top of the world? Their nastiness, vindictiveness, arrogance, selfishness, vanity and insanity are in full force.

      The two biggest NPD-ers in my life were exactly like this.

    • Anon says:

      You’re so right. At her core, she is a hateful, hateful person. A lot of that is self-hate that she just turns outward as a way to cope with her own self-loathing. When she’s feeling confident, that mean-spirited side of her comes out, because she doesn’t have to placate anyone (she thinks) and she can lose the facade (which i’m sure is tiring to maintain). When she needs something from someone, she plays nice and sweet to get it.

      It’s textbook. She hates herself. It’s really fucking sad.

      • bitchface says:

        well I hate her too, so that makes two of us

      • Skirt Pull says:

        I agree with the self-hate. And who can blame her given the lack of attention and affection from her parents growing up. Explains so many things like the “f-you money” comment.

        • KashMoney says:

          good point. her _explicit_ long-term goal was to have the power to tell people to go fuck themselves. that is not an agenda for a dear heart.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        You see, I disagree. I know this is said about NPDers; that they secretly hate themselves. But I think the opposite has been true of the ones I know. They secretly, and not-so-secretly, fucking ADORE themselves and their anger stems from the rest of the world not feeling the same way. It baffles them.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          Agree.

        • JFA says:

          Absolutely agree with you. She loves herself. The occasional self-deprecation/faux self-awareness is a lame attempt at attention and perhaps a smidgen of an attempt to be contrite. Because the ways she thinks and feels about herself is completely at odds with EVERONE’S opinion of her, and every so often it dawns on her and she feels the need to try to make sense of it.

          I’ve watched her antics for too long. She is completely in love with and obsessed with herself. She thinks she deserves to be a star by now.

          • JFA says:

            And then, as soon as she guilts those around her into feeling sorry for her/playing nice again after she fucks up, she goes for the jugular. Every time.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Yes. Her remorse and contrition are just an act. The real JA is the asshole we see when she’s feeling on top of the world and believes she’s finally being rewarded for her awesomeness.

          • mcakez says:

            Acts of contrition are not an actual acceptance of flaws; they are another way for the narcissist to congratulate him/herself on their awesome efforts to grow as a human being. They think it makes them self-aware and deep. They applaud themselves for taking a ‘long, hard’ look at themselves, and vowing to make repairs.

            Then they pat themselves on the back for their ‘break-through’ and the moment is passed, with them feeling better and stronger for thinking they looked their demons in the face. They can happily go right back into the same bullshit.

            Her ‘deep thoughts’ tweets are all about this.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Exactly!

          • JFA says:

            OMG totes Mcakez. It reminds me of all those teary trips to the Ashram. Yet nothing ever changes.

    • So. Blessed. says:

      Thug cunt 4eva.

  16. darkwing duck says:

    I had a really good friend tell me once, that only the truly weird don’t get over what happened in high school.

    Julia, that’s some assvice. Get over it.

    (Ironically, this was a high school friend who later became a boyfriend then disappeared off the face of the planet (possibly Arizona). He turned out to be an asshole grifter of epic porportions but I thought that was an insightful thing to say at the time. We were 20; this hosebeast is 31.).

  17. Can-Swiss says:

    Do you know what some guys do shortly into a second date that they know isn’t going well? Act aloof and disinterested. It’s a signal that THEY aren’t interested in YOU, Julia.

    It’s a “shit, was I ever drunk when I met this crazy bitch, what was I thinking seeing her again?” moment. You know, after about 10 minutes into your “second date” which I bet was the first time they actually met sober (just guessing Julia would have met this guy at a party or event she scammed into, he’s drunk, they exchange numbers and she would consider that the “first date”).

    But of course, HE was the boring one. Yup, the lead comedy writer… boring. The person who actually has a real agent, he’s the sad one worthy of public ridicule. The one who has a real job/career in the entertainment industry. You know, the guy who writes jokes and isn’t a living one.

    What an asshole she is. I mean really. It’s been years and she butts in like this? She is seriously getting even more bat-shit crazy as she get older.

  18. Donkey of Perdition says:

    How did she stumble upon this conversation in the Twitterverse?

    Apparently, she hasn’t talked to this guy in years, nor would I suspect he would reach out after prior emasculating tongue lashings. (I still can’t figure out wtf MK and JBron are talking about and Julia’s out of context comments are very SWF ; i.e. JBron “I am wearing a suit” MK “Congrats!”, JAB “You fucking suck and you’re a horrible date”, WTF?)

    When I read the conversation I imagine her sitting alone, in a dark room, obsessively reading through tweets, scheme juices boiling, mouthing “all work and no play make’s julia a pissed off pink princess”. Chick scares me sometimes.

    [img]http://tosh.comedycentral.com/blog/files/2012/05/condom-wall.jpg[/img]

  19. Mandy says:

    Sometimes I think this site is mean, and the I see/read stuff like this, and am again reminded how awful and dysfunctional a human being Julia is.

  20. ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

    Two measly dates. And it sounds like the guy probably prearranged an incoming call on date two so he could make a quick getaway.
    So brief, their time together at the table they shared, until his career rudely interrupted. (Hmm. Sounds kinda familiar.)
    So brief, yet she will stalk him for life, particularly if there is any reflected glory for her to stake a claim on.
    A marked man.
    I shudder on his behalf.
    (And am running perilously low on canklehausen ointment regarding madam JABa.)

  21. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    Twitter conversations are so bloody ugly I can barely follow them. Is it JB himself who said, “Mean!”? Why IS she so mean? Why on earth would she tweet that not only to two strangers but to the man she’s insulting??

    Julia, you are banned from the playground and from the end-of-the-year skating party. You may collect your smelly pink belongings from your cubby and ride your bike home in the rain. If, in the future, we have anything to say to you we will rattle your cage.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Sorry, I screwed up when cutting and pasting. Yes, it’s JB saying “mean!” I am not sure whether he’s saying she’s mean, or sarcastically suggesting he was mean. In any event, I wish he’d just told her to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION.

      • OMGPearskank says:

        Too bad he remembered who she is. I would have loved simple “And you are…?” if there had to be a response at all.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        He should have ignored her but I am sure he was freaking out that his two bosses – the creator/star and show runner were seeing these demented tweets and he thought he’d take the bite out of them by LOLing along.

        Problem is she is probably going to take that as a cue to keep going.

        • heh says:

          Don’t be too worried… he was on the Harvard Lampoon with the show runner and has been buds with Mindy for a while. I’m sure they’re all either having a good laugh at donk’s expense or (more likely) giving 0 fucks about it.

          • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

            That makes me feel better. That said, a Donkey did not know this info.

            When you start on a show – more experienced people are always looking for that ONE thing to rag on you about and it can suck that that shit gets glued to your name when you are trying to make a name for yourself.

      • Real-life "Cathy" Cartoon says:

        I don’t know if it’s worth your while, but there’s supposed to be a way to embed Twitter posts into html. Click on “Details” under the Tweet, which will take you to a new page w/just that tweet. Click on “Embed this Tweet” and take it from there.

        I’m going to try it below. Forgive me if it goes astray!

        @mindykaling @JeremyBronson @MCWarburton – if I recall, he actually took a call from his agent in the middle of one. Or was it his mom??— Julia Allison (@JuliaAllison) May 23, 2012

  22. Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

    What was her flip comment when she was confronted after outing [Redacted's] as being bipolar on a Gawker live blog in 2008? Something about who even remembers that was so long ago?? Grudge term limits apply to everyone but our expired special snowflake.

  23. bitchface says:

    tee hee hee! I LOVE “thug cunt” Julia and wish she would ~own~ this persona because it’s her most true.
    [img]http://itsokaytolikeit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/06.gif[/img]

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      If she owned it, she would have a hit show on Bravo and not be shoved to no man’s land summer time slot with barely any promotion.

    • solidarity cat says:

      I friggin love that chattering raccoon bitchface.

  24. Scooby Don't says:

    This post should be mandatory reading for any guy who even remotely considers schtupping JAB and why you should never the Donkey.
    El Burro is herpes personified. She never, ever goes away and you have years and years of flare ups to look forward to.
    And there’s no social Valtrex to help you out either

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Someone put it perfectly when they said, “He wishes he had pre-Googled instead of post-Googled.”

      Comment of the century. Yes, I am about to stereotype men, but I’m guessing they Google her and get an AMAZEBALLS boner at seeing her looking like a rent-a-hooker in some of her Gawker day photos and they never research beyond that.

      • Ben Lerer's Wife says:

        I have always suspected this myself.

        • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

          I feel like that screen name should be reserved for the actual person, whom we know will arrive here at some point. Not unlike [Redacted's] Mom.

          • Stripper Shoes Will Never Land an OMG FOUNDER says:

            :-(. I was just trying to make car ladies laugh. I will now write on the blackboard, “I will never steal the future handle of a Donkey’s married-boyfriend-to-be’s current wife again.”

          • CDB says:

            I am sure some of us also live in cars, but I assume you meant cat ladies

          • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

            I LAUGHED!!!!

          • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

            I didn’t meant to cast any aspersions. I agree it was a very clever name. I was probably just reacting out of disappointment that it wasn’t actually her. You know she’s headed our way.

            Side note, its cat people. Please. Some respect for us cat gentleman.

          • Stripper Shoes Won't Land Her An OMG FOUNDER says:

            There are certainly a lot of boys (boyz, Julia, if you will, as it were) here. That in and of itself must burn Julia Allison. A boy doesn’t like her! Oh MY!

      • I read your comment & now all I can think is:
        Men II Boyz Post-Google Julia Allison

    • melting marionette says:

      “no social valtrex” – love this. somebody grab it as a username.

  25. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    I met up with an OMG tech founder this week, and in the course of discussing the looming clusterfuck that is brands pinning their fortunes on so-called “influencers,” I had to bring up Donkey.

    OMG Tech Founder: I haven’t even heard Julia Allison’s name mentioned by anyone in New York in at least two years.
    Me: She has a reality show on Bravo airing next month.
    OMG Tech Founder [laughing]: That’s what a lunatic like her deserves.

    Yes, this OMG Tech Founder is a NY founder who is friends with [REDACTED] #2, Karp, and all the other OMG tech founders she tried to fuck on. She’s too irrelevant now to even be a topic of derisory conversation for them.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      Why isn’t it even a topic of derisory conversation!?!? Maybe it’s biology…

  26. A Donkey is a Ass says:

    Hey A Donkey, “show me a person who interjects into a conversation (on Twatter no less) that doesn’t involve them and I’ll show you an emotionally stunted human donkey.”

    Do us all a favor and fuck off. You’re not the special little snowflake flower princess charming socialite you think you are. You’re A Donkey.

  27. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    I think it’s a great credit to this individual that Donkey hated him so much on date #2. Most likely, he was way too smart and un-shallow for her. LOL BOOOOOORRRING!!!

    With the degree of cuntitudinousness that Donkey is displaying, will her next tweet at this guy be “u mad?”

    I was re-reading the Mediabistro article last night, the article Prof FC aptly labeled the Old Testament of Donkology, and in it, Donkey was maundering on about how she’s SO NICE! and how “people call me a lot of things, but you won’t find anyone who says I’m mean.” After seeing her behavior today, I just can’t.

  28. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    How can you call Miss Julia a cunt? This guy is such a bully! Being friends and coworkers with people like Mindy Kaling is Miss Julia’s god-given birthright, and this weirdo is STEALING HER. He’s stealing Mindy! Totally not amazeballz.

  29. Cowboys & Brayliens says:

    Wow, Donk is up early this morning. Thanking some nobody social media expert for shilling her show at 9am.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      She’d be up at least 3 hours later if she weren’t on EDT for the moment.

  30. Peltergeist says:

    Ah, I remember this picture of her. She looks so… burly.

  31. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    Christ. What. An. Asshole.

  32. Can-Swiss says:

    She so looks like a see you next Tuesday in this photo. Good choice!

  33. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    Julia twatted:

    @Bravotv - get ready to meet@lillydog, BRAVO’s new star pup!

    So it’s come to this?

  34. Natasha says:

    Ahhhhh how do you know that about Greg Gutfeld? Laughing all day forever. I kind of adore Greg Gutfeld.

  35. rankles the jankles says:

    21 days.

  36. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    If anyone is bored of a Donkey and wants a good laugh, take a gander at some of Annie Lalla’s FB status updates. This one was special:

    ‎”Kissing you is what a star must feel like when it’s born” — E.P

    That’s right, Donkey, I AM DERIDING.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Looking at anything from Annie Lalla is an excellent time-waster because it makes me first vom in shower, then clean shower so I can clean myself over and over.

      • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

        Annie Lalla looks DISEASED to me, as though she just crawled out of an old school bordello. An eager contestant on SNL’s Syphilitic French Whore? Would this post be considered De-Risive? De-lightful? De-lovely?

        • Anon says:

          “My whore is definitely dead.”

          • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

            Especially if she’s quoting Anais Nin on FB. Annie’s page is indeed nearly as thigh slapping as RBD.

            “I should start by introducing myself, but who am I? I could present statistical details, attach my resume, recount my past or expound my philosophies. But this may not reveal my essence … I try to think in warm orange and bright blues. I’m enamored with iridescence; sparkly things excite me.” Of course.

          • Edward R. Burro says:

            So she likes rainbows and colors (bright)?

          • Stripper Shoes Won't Land Her An OMG FOUNDER says:

            She’s a fan of the Miami Dolphins?

    • JFA says:

      Jesus. Christ.

  37. So. Blessed. says:

    I love that Bravo or Andy have yet to retweet or respond to anything this moron has twittered. #puffyfacedredpeltedstepchild

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Don’t think I’ve seen #1 on RBD yet, so here are four reasons Julia Allison, bepelted inspiration for the phrase “by cheek or by jowl” (thanks to both her face and behavior), won’t get Andy’s attention:

      1. It’s super awkward and guilt-inducing for non-Donkeys to play nice with people whom they’re about to hatefuck in the ass. Mr Cohen is about to destroy Donkey on national television.

      2. He just doesn’t like her.

      3. He’s too busy & important to chat up lowly farm animals.

      4. He won’t touch her with a ten foot pole because he knows she ends up fucking over all her associates in the end.

      • So. Blessed. says:

        I’m going with #3. And I think he follows the standard of being gracious when grace is warranted, not the Julia Allison “I’m so nice, buy me a MacBook Air you promitheds!” “Cut this! Accommodate my sleep schedule! I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a big, bright shining star” school of thought.

        No Bravolebrities have congratulated her on The Coming Premiere! No one she met over sips at the book signing were OMG fawning over xoJulia on Twitter? Was she eclipsed by Toilet Julia and her portable Casio?

        Unless her harridan antics incur numbers and comments on Bravo I doubt any FU money will come of it–this is why she is pushing this intern-driven webshitshow with Toilet Julia (please, may we have musical interludes?)

        Every web-based show without talent is about as interesting as me and my best friend sitting at the kitchen counter in 9th grade videotaping ourselves parodying morning announcements thinking we were funny.biz.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          Speaking of Toilet Julia… why radio silence on Miss Advised? She’s hinted on her Facebook about how she can’t wait to tell her fans about her secret project and now she hasn’t mentioned it, linked it or Twittered about it.

          She’s obviously believes this will be her Amazeballs breaks and has hitched herself to Donkey’s feedbag – she’s Tweeting about getting an intern – why not the show?

  38. diluted brain says:

    Now she has over 55k twitter followers. Like she doesn’t pay for the followers, playa please.

    I don’t know what I find more off, that she replied to a celebrity like she’s friendly with her or bad mouthed the dude for taking a call on a date. Granted I haven’t dated over 5+ years since I met my husband, I doubt I would give a shit if my date took a call as long as it wasn’t more than an extended amount of time. The fact that it bothers her and more so that she tweets about it proves how little class she has (though we’ve been well aware she has no class / manners)

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Wish we could do a Twitter Follower count-up clock somehow.

    • There’s a very similar sitch w/ another *cough cough* ‘columnist’ named “Sarah Phillips” — here’s a link to the Deadspin article exposing her fraud & then there are other links to more of her shady deals (haven’t finished reading ‘em yet).

      EXCERPTS OF SIMILARITIES:
      ‘When she’s not writing for these media outlets, she’s entering into shady “business” deals …’

      ‘But here’s a little secret: the vast majority of these followers were bought by Phillips …’

      ‘… her followers started to climb [...] Then the follower count grew fast. Really fast. Unnaturally fast [...] We analyzed her followers and found an enormous percentage of her followers are paid-for spam accounts.’

      Keep on keepin’ on, Donkey, keep telling yourself that no one’s the wiser.

  39. Wonkeye says:

    Just watched the premiere of the big Bravo summer commercial and no sign of Jaba! Where could she be?

  40. Fameless Shamewhore says:

    Coming here to share the lulz with all the cat- (car-) people: here’s a newish twitter convo between Julia and a hater:

    Leah Berry ‏@LeahBerry5
    @JuliaAllison Are you as fickle with your men as you are with your cities? Honestly can’t keep up with your constant changes.

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @LeahBerry5 – LOL, yes!! I have commitment (and other) issues.

    Leah Berry ‏@LeahBerry5
    @JuliaAllison And yet you say you really want to get married. Talk about mixed signals. Might want to stop dating and get that sorted.

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    @LeahBerry5 – yeah, that’s pretty much what the first season of my @Bravotv show Miss Advised covers. ;-)

    I just need to point out two things: *my* @Bravotv show and, even better, *first season*. “First season”. Wonderful.

    It is to laugh.

    • juliajane says:

      Yeah, love that she added “first season”. She’s so fucking smug at the moment. No way is this steaming turd of a show getting a second season. Reminds me of when she brayed that she had “a talk show on NBC!!” when her show was shown in the back of cabs…

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      AS IF (is if?) you can condense 31 years of cray and narcissism into 8 (13?) episodes. the fact that she even segments her life into “seasons” of a reality television show makes the mind baughle. she actually thinks there will be a second season! spoiler alert: miss advised (the one and only season) will be in reruns for a LONG time (PSST, julia, if you didn’t get the hint, it means you will be MENTAL and have ISSUES for a LONG time. keep fucking that chicken!)

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      She took this one down:

      Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
      @LeahBerry5 – LOL, yes!! I have commitment (and other) issues.

      I love how she keeps @ing BravoTv and getting ignored. She is the dumbs.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Sorry, I see where she says that now… SSSF

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          I love reading her Twitter feed – as if her 50,000 fans are not bought for $12.99 per thousand and speak her language – she really thinks she’s speaking to thousands of adoring fans, LOL.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND:

        [img]http://www.keleas.com/i/CC_Girl/CC-364-I_have_issues.jpg[/img]

        MARRY ME!!!!!!!!111111

    • JFA says:

      First season LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

      Oh dear. She’s really smoking crack again.

      • JFA says:

        Also commitment issues my ass. Bitch? They all run away shrieking. Your only commitment issue is you are desperate for one, always, and it NEVER EVER EVER happens for you.

      • If Average Joe could pull four season out of its ass, then it’s not entirely inconceivable that Bravo could somehow make Miss Advised Assvice a more than one+ season show, but if that were the case, I really don’t foresee it having any of the same people or donkeys as repeat players in another season.

        I’m of the opinion that the only way Bravo would gain any traction w/ this premise is if they somehow turn it into a show that other despertardos vie to be on, a la The Bachelor(ette), but we already know before it airs that 4EverAlone Donkey fails miserably at hooking up, so unless Emily Morse & Amy Laurent ‘find true love’, how is Bravo (or should I be saying “Blondie Girl Productions’?) going to generate any long-term interest & followers?

        • LOL, mybad! While I wrote Average Joe it was that one-season / six episode show Joe Millionaire that I was actually thinking of.

          RE: The Next Joe Millionaire (which featured a new character): FOX’s entertainment chair Sandy Grushow said, “Our instincts told us from the very beginning that ‘Joe Millionaire’ was a one-time stunt and I think we got greedy.” He added, “We tried to sneak it by the American public a second time and we got called on it.”

          Get over yourself & your ‘The first season of my reality show’, Donkey — it’s over before it started.

    • MY Beach Home says:

      Holy hell! I caught a few segments of the Mrs. Eastwood shitshow last night (don’t ask) and it was so boring and not stuff. Maybe this is the future of reality tv and miss advisied will have a 10 seasonn run! Bored people like me sitting on the couch watching bored crazy people trying to present their lives the way they want you to perceive them, despite all obvious indications to the contrary.

      Will Julia have the last laugh?

  41. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    meanwhile, she looks skinny and overdressed in a new photo (http://t.co/xGk1PSdy) (while everyone else is dressed totally casually playing ping pong in the background), seems surprised that her college girlfriends have insight into finance matters (teehee math is hard!) and have actual careers, and is pimping a dollhouse-building project as “good for girls”. how can someone be so stunted? must be all the karma from derision.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      This is one of those weird things where I think her outfit is actually cute…and then the context totally kills it. I remember the creepy torturer in Raiders of the Lost Ark: “You Americans are all alike. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions.”

    • fig says:

      Is she wearing a nude hose? Because of so, hilarious! Kate, you have been rung.

    • JFA says:

      This was a clear excuse to name drop a buncha labels. Also please for the love of god tell me she is not starting to do “head to toes” again.

      Glad she can afford a $1000+ outfit on her salary. #rage

      • JFA says:

        LOL she made this her FB profile pic, of course she did. 45 likes so far:

        érémy Gerard
        Nouméa, New Caledonia

        Alfred Hoxha
        Works at Nje koperativist

        Adrienne Albregts
        Austin, Texas

        Aziz Batmaz

        Dimitri Franco
        Colegio San Antonio

        Michael Haley
        Co Owner at Jam All Districts Entertainment

        Rino Bigfruit

        Song Un
        Prep Manager at Austranlian Laboratory Services Cambodia

        Kris Carlin
        Ashford University

        Nadia Rabbaa

        Buğra Canli
        Vokal at REBORN

        Oussema Ferjani
        BaBaSa

        Corrado Savini
        Politecnico di Milano

        Samitha Fernando

        Martina Siladi
        Učiteljski fakultet

        Fuad Ahmed

        Ali Alfadl
        San Francisco, California

        Wengky Vj

        Mahesh Chamara
        Works at Air max travels

        Docteur Djafoura Nasser
        Toulouse University

        Alex Peñá Ð
        Works at En ningun lado

        Vuqor Aliyev
        IMC FH Krems

        藍空
        崑山科技大學

        Lina Regjepi

        Rabi Aftab

        Saif Didin
        UNIVERSITY KEBANGSAAN MALAYSIA

        Herizky Ferraldy

        Hassenswinmen Liberte
        Agent de voyages at Agent Provocateur

        Siva Kumar
        Works at Singapore

        Sevag Sarkissian
        Los Angeles, California

        Aymen RouaiNia
        INESM (Badji Mokhtar) & informatique Sidi Amar

        Taliz Chriznataliz
        STIK IJ PALU

        Sheraz Malik
        Co-founder at TauMobility – Smart Innovations

        Robert McLeod
        Stanley Senior School

        Stefan Steiner
        Software Design Engineer at Microsoft

        Navid Voghufi

        Luka Vollmer

        Rony Seran
        Metrologist at DINAS PERINDUSTRIAN DAN PERDAGANGAN

        Sultan Mahmud
        ULAB

        Michael Golebiowski
        New Jersey City University

        Ernesto Gonzalez

        Josip Bećar Šimunović
        SŠ Marka Marulića

        Shelton Bumgarner
        Works at Freelance Photographer and Writer

        Awaluddin Grogot

        Shanaka Gayan Samarawickrama

          • Fashion Girl says:

            JINX!

          • JFA says:

            RINO BIGFRUIT is a very large Italian and he SHARED THE PIC ON HIS WALL.

          • Fashion Girl says:

            Ok, Rino Bigfruit is obviously such a bot, but I LOVE HIM ANYWAY. Through him, I just learned that the Italian phrase for self-employed is “lavoratore autonomo” (which at first glance I assumed was an automobile factory), so he has ALREADY MADE AN IMPACT ON MY LIFE. I am buying a ticket on Alitalia right now to go to the Taverna Dei Briganti in Subbiano Arezzo to become Signora Bigfruit. Ciao, bitches.

          • JFA says:

            LOLLLL

        • Fashion Girl says:

          I’m changing my name to Rino Bigfruit.

          • It’s a pretty awesome name, alright :-)

            I tried to google an apt gravatar for ya, (yes, I’m 12, but pls god, don’t ever let anyone see my ‘rhino nads images’ search hx) & got sidetracked by this:
            [img]http://cheezpictureisunrelated.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/wtf-photos-videos-the-rhino-likes-the-snug-feel.jpg[/img]

    • & two days later, she’s rockin’ the same (no doubt stanky by now) dots?

      Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
      I met up with @Brit (in from SF), in NY tonight. We were both rockin’ the dots. @ Ace Hotel Lobby & Bar http://instagr.am/p/K6lxHTiVec/
      21 May 2012

      Gross Donkey is gross. Also, anyone surprised that Donkey née Julia Allison isn’t listed as a backer on the “Roominate; Make It Yours” Kickstarter?

  42. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    An OT question.

    If you didn’t know who this was – would you argue that she was unattractive?

    I ask because Julia resembles in this photo -to an uncanny degree – a woman who I have always thought was dynamite sexy, in part because of her persona (which Julia lacks) but also because I think she is genuinely attractive. If someone had told me the photo was of this other woman I would probably accept it at face value. To clarify, the woman I reference is a rock/blues/roadhouse/jazz musician.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

      To clarify, I mean the photo in the OP; and to further clarify, my acquaintance is extremely conversational while performing and totally engaged with her audience. She also has a very camp sensibility that she integrates into the concert experience.

    • Lilly Liberation Front (formerly Whackjob of Whimsy) says:

      To me, she really looks like a man wearing a wig here. I’ve never thought she was ugly, but this look is horrid. Maybe if she weren’t making such a smug face?

    • fig says:

      She is a good looking woman. I find her completely unattractive, but I also think her looks rate above average.

  43. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    It’s 3:00am in NY… I’ll just leave this here:

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 10m
    I would subscribe to a newsfeed that explained in detail how all the “hot events” I wasn’t invited to were actually super lame. FOMO solved.

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 10m
    FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out

    Look up from that iPhone for ten minutes, you won’t miss out on so much.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Speaking of FOMO, Jelly has been in NYC the last few days according to his twitter (so Julia knows, too). Aubs tweeted she was looking forward to partying with him. Is someone…not invited?

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      You beat me to it Malf, but wait… there’s more! TL;DR alert, scroll down for cliff’s notes.

      Thanks to Manta’s awesome La_Donk bot, we know that:

      - “donk, yo!”s tweet about her smart gurlfranzias originally said “go go, girlfriend!” One two many sips or sausage snappers on an OMGiphone? #sony #ad. Since every tweet prior was within minutes of the last, we can tell that she was really paying rapt attention to the conversation rather than having her eyes glued to her iphone (rbd in one browser tab, obv) and simply grabbing the bits and pieces that would make her look SMURT, to show the world she DOES have friends! For over a decade! OLD ones! Not preemptive at all, just very stuff. And yet, despite having only used their first names, we know far more about each and every one of them than any stranger should. #danishmary #loudcouchthex #pinkminitubedresstohike

      - She didn’t like the first photo she attached to her tweet about “interviewing” (lol) at TC Disrupt, so she scrapped it and reposted the tweet with a new one. Then for some reason she didn’t want anyone to know that photo was taken AFTER her “interviewing”. Maybe she was trying to imply she was actively doing coverage for some outlet rather than the typical #nbcmicflag polka with that poor cameraman she always drags around to Fashion Week?

      - She reposted her “outfit” tweet three times… once to add a photo, another to make sure #freshwater “pearls” wasn’t missing from the tweet.

      - She makes up a story about NGM that we – despite having followed her antics for long enough – have oddly NEVER heard before even though it’s exactly the kind of girly, princess-y, twee thing she’d trot out every time she had the opportunity, had she only thought it up sooner. Purpose being, of course, to latch on to a kickstarter project she’d probably read about elsewhere meant to encourage STEM for ALL THE GIRLS (and make it about herself, and bring up NGM yet again). But, huh? Math is hard and MIT Physics Ph.D’s are so BORING! Like Jewish comedy writers who have no idea what’s TRULY funny.

      Then of course there’s her whining about being a loser as if this is somehow news to her. Why is she worried about parties she isn’t invited to (aww, no Bravo lurve?) when she just had an amazing dinner with her thuper thmart girlfriendzzz of decade? I haz a confuse!
      -

      TL;DR version:

      12:13AM TC disrupt “post interviewing” take 1
      12:15AM Very proud of the outfit I wore!
      12:16AM “wearing 8 straight months of my LA uniform”(lolwut)
      12:17AM “wearing” disappears, and “lazy” gets tacked on (self-awareness? LOL JK. Also, was she really wearing that uniform all through filming and the fauxtos she kept taking during, because it certainly doesn’t appear to be the case)
      12:18AM Very proud of the outfit I wore! #2, but donkey forgot two very important things…
      12:18AM the mention of #freshwater pearls! and photo proof.
      12:20AM TC disrupt take 2, new photo
      12:31AM TC disrupt take 3, same photo! but the word “post” mysteriously disappears
      2:07AM Donkey invents a memory: designing mini dollhouses with NGMB, a tale never mentioned once before

      Mania thy name is donk.

  44. Bravo's Bitch says:

    Ugh, Bravo shows the commercial for this shit show every break. I am trying to enjoy all my other Bravo shit shows and then the braying starts up. And I never paid attention to the other two women but wow they are just as loud and obnoxious as the donkey. Loud, tacky cows. All three. And, end rant. Have a nice day.

  45. ShesJustStupid says:

    So the photo of her in the polka dot shorts? It’s posted three times on her facebook. Once as her profile shot, once in her feed (because she made it her profile, I guess), and once with this caption:

    “So … I finally went to Techcrunch Disrupt.
    And this is what I wore!
    Helpful Tip: If you want to make sure you don’t have one of those awkward “Oh, sorry … wait, are we wearing THE EXACT SAME OUTFIT?!” moments at a tech conference, just wear Marc Jacobs polka dot shorts. And pearls.

    (Where’s Brit Morin when I need her?!)”

    She thinks she looks fantastic. I like the shirt and I think the shorts could be cute? On someone else? Not my thing. As usual, hate the super high stilettos and the pearls. And that red hair is awful. I thought she was allowed to dye it back? Maybe not until after the show premiers.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      OH WAIT…there’s yet another photo in that outfit of her holding an Intel notebook. Is this her $100,000 deal? LOL

      “With my new Intel UltraBook at Techcrunch Disrupt — with Stephanie Luu in New York.”

    • JFA says:

      I KNOWWWW. SHE POSTS PICS OF HERSELF IN THE SAME OUTFIT THREE FUCKING TIMES ON HER FB. SHE IS A LUNATIC. WHY AM I YELLING.

    • JFA says:

      Also LOL! She’s such a card! She has the GALL to wear POLKA DOT SHORTS (MARC JACOBS!!!) at a TECH CONFERENCE! Sigh. What a fashion icon. What a cute, quirky, geeky beauty.

      Shut the fuck up asshole.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      Did you see what Brit was wearing the other day, gave me fucking vertigo.

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