Ray of Sunshine Arrives In NYC at 2 a.m., Seems Pissed A Ticker Tape Parade Did Not Break Out

I wonder who failed to greet her at 2:30 a.m. on a Sunday night with the fanfare she feels she deserves?

1:28 am EST at JFK: garish pink luggage in hand, not a taxi in sight. Oh, how I’m glad to be back. (And poof! The taxis appear!)

NY, LA, SF, Chicago, DC: I hate them & I love them all at once, for different reasons at different times. That Does Not Seem To Ever Change.

 

An hour later:

 I just realized that I like most human beings a lot more in theory than I do in reality. This is depressing. Also, I am PMSing. Related? Hmm

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187 Responses to Ray of Sunshine Arrives In NYC at 2 a.m., Seems Pissed A Ticker Tape Parade Did Not Break Out

  1. Deuce MacInaugh says:

    Poor Julia. Nobody even likes her in theory.

  2. Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

    Wow, a love-hate relationship with New York City? Julia Allison, you are indeed the first “writer” to ever feel this way.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      But L.A. now too. That’s interesting. Sort of. She’s going to break that lease if she can’t land a wallet soon.

      Also, really? You hate all those cities in various ways? She is an inherently dissastified person, huh? I live in D.C. and there may be some things that I am not into here, but for the most part, I love it. And I pretty much loved the other two major cities I’ve lived in. You focus on the positive, don’t you? Not our special princess.

      • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

        DC can be a fun town. It’s a lot “younger” now then when I first got here. In the end it’s about the people around you that you care about that makes a place fun to live in. That’s probably why she doesn’t like any place.

      • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

        She basically hates these cities because within each she’s failed to find the fame, fortune and adoration which clearly is her birthright.

        And I second your call on her breaking out of LA very, very soon. I wonder if she’ll come back to Chicago.

        • Ooh, that would be fun. I wonder how she’d spin THAT one, seeing as how she’s burned every bridge in the city. Maybe there’s a place for her in Omaha?

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            How great would it be to see her in an unfamiliar part of the midwest? It would take people in Omaha about 4 seconds to recognize her for what she is. They’d be painfully civil to her, but she’d [still] never make real friends.

          • Julia's a squib says:

            I’m from Omaha, and I can only guess that my attitude towards her wouldn’t be the exception.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          My money is on her breaking her lease, going to SF, being frozen out of SF and then going home to live in the OMGdowntowncondo.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            I have a feeling the Bay Area is less attractive to a Donkey now that RandiZ & JellyD are not reciprocating her affections. Of course there’s still Greasy and Ditz Brit and Sick Whip Dave, to whom she is definitely not attracted in any way, I guess.

          • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

            Hahahahhahahah, you’re right, although we are talking about a delusional Donkey who needs her rest because Bravo is about to make her a star!

            Probably going to have her own series and line of Donkey Spanx soon!

      • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

        i hear bloomington is nice… but maybe she doesn’t want to go back there?

        • A Donkey is a Ass says:

          Back there? A Donkey’s never been there. Ask her.

          Just like A Donkey didn’t live in Chicago after her “career” in NYC flamed out.

          I’ve always found it astounding how A Donkey, who is ostensibly a “lifecaster”, can simply pretend events never happened. What a sociopath. But I guess that’s why this whole little community exists.

          Still, fuck you A Donkey.

    • melting marionette says:

      “new york i love you but you’re bringing me down” (with apologies to rosecrans baldwin)

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        Hey, Rosecrans is one of my dear friends!

        • melting marionette says:

          LOVE his writing. if i was a psychoflameball with wings would be so stalking you right now to get an intro.

          hmm – reminds me of someone. as i’m in the early stages of youngheimers disease, their name escapes me right now. anyone? anyone?

          • solidarity cat says:

            I loved “You Lost Me There.” Thinking of picking up the Paris book. Very cool that he’s your buddy, Handbag.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            He is a sweet and funny and dear man, and plays a pretty good game of pool for a drunk guy.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Oh, of course. This just further cements my belief that all the cool people are hanging out without me. Giant sadface forever.

  3. Free Donkey says:

    Donkey brought the rain

    • melting marionette says:

      beat me to it. was going to say it was pissing down…

    • Peltergeist says:

      I would actually love to see her out in this torrential rain. I’m sure she’ll only take cabs (despite not having any money), but even a one-block walk would be enough to wash all 15 layers of that spackle off of her face today. I wonder how hooves and pelts smell when wet…

  4. 11th Wang says:

    Remember the good ole days of [redacted]andjulia.com when she claimed to be PMSing every single day of their relationship?

  5. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Oh for fucks sake, she’s not here for the Webby Awards, is she? Possible Donkey spotting in the wild?

    Also, this explains the atrocious weather today. Somebody up there likes us here in NYC and chose this week to open the heavens and dissuade Donkey from thinking about coming back.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I wonder what poor victim is housing her? Such a thrill to have a cranky house guest arrive at 3 a.m. on a Sunday night.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        Took the words right out of my mouth. She deliberately booked a ticket that got into nyc at 1 AM, probably because it was cheaper. Meaning someone got woken up at a ridiculous time on a work night. She’s such a bitch. She doesn’t HAVE to be anywhere, so why inconvenience anyone?

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        This. Even if she’s staying with someone for the rest of the trip, a civilized person would check into a hotel for a night if they arrived at 1am.

        Donkey, one of my income streams is based on people who lack even rudimentary social skills. You keep being a Donkey and I’ll keep cashing the checks.

      • bitchface says:

        probably an Airbnb cot for $400/night

      • AFGHANI says:

        Whoever it is, I can’t wait to see their fenestration situation.

  6. ShesJustStupid says:

    She she’s complained that she’s over-dressed and cold. What do we think she’s wearing to this event? Also, it costs $3,000 to attend this thing, which started on Saturday and goes until Wednesday.

    https://www.google.com/reader/view/#stream/feed%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Frebloggingdonk.com%2Fcomments%2Ffeed%2F

  7. Albie Quirky says:

    Wait, so she couldn’t be bothered to come to NY for the whatsitsbucket charity dance, even though she was on the Prom Committee and all, but now she’s coming to NY for the TechCrunchDisrupt, where she will be as welcome as a skunk at a picnic?

    Priorities, Julie Albertson! Get you some!

    It’s like she’d rather go where she’s not wanted. I will never understand her if I live to be ten million years of age.

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      She hasn’t given up on Michael Acton Smith’s giant wallet. That’s all this is about. Well, that and scouting other wallets.

  8. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    Donkey isn’t PMSing s/he has a fucking dick.

    • miss assvice says:

      That would get her responding the fastest back in the valley wag days. They would say she has a dick, or is a drag queen. I find that offensive to drag queens and I do not agree with those attacks. Most boys and transgendered have more fashion sense and class in their pinky fingers than she does. Donkey is just donkey and offensive enough in her own way to need hate speech.

  9. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    I second KS’s point from the previous thread. What’s With The Capitalization, Donkey?

  10. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    How to spot a dumb, shallow narcissist: they’ll constantly tell you their feelings and opinions about things without attempting explanation or logical justification. For example, they’ll tell you they “hate” huge, complex cities which they haven’t even begun to understand.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Boring Copenhagen is boring.

      Yes, I’m still gnawing on that old bone. So shoot me.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Me too! Copenhagen might be my favorite city ever, and it rankles to think that even Donkey could be so wrong about it.

        • DoubtsWereRaised says:

          I’m visiting Denmark (Copenhagen and Arhus) week after next. Any tips?

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            I’m not sufficiently expert to offer anything earth-shattering, but renting a bike is fun (Copenhagen is one of the most bike-friendly cities in the world). Explore the Strøget (including at night: there are some cool bars where you can meet friendly Danes and Swedes, who like to go to Copenhagen to party). If you’re the museum-going type, the Louisiana Museum is a bit of a trek, but when I went, they had two of the most interesting and best-curated exhibits I’ve ever seen, and they have quite a permanent collection, too.

          • *fist shakes* says:

            If you’re into design at all, visit Illum Bolighus.
            http://www.illumsbolighus.dk/uk/main.asp?

            The cafeterias in the department stores are also good places to have a cheap meal. The cafeteria at Illum even has little balcony that you can go out to eat on.

            Also, eat lots of danishes (they don’t call them that though).

      • donkolnikov says:

        Copenhagen is so boring! None of her ex boyfriends live there!

      • Can-Swiss says:

        Loved Copenhagen!

  11. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    How to spot a dumb, shallow narcissist, lesson II: her name is Julia “Allison” Baugher and she somehow has jowls despite being reasonably young and unfat.

  12. miss assvice says:

    @lagorio @EricMarkowitz – Say hi if you see me! I’m 3rd row, closest seat to aisle, straining to hear through the terrible acoustics. Oy.

    Yoo Hoo Inc. Magazine writers I iz funny serious bidness lady writer here too. I iz importants. She is sad, pathetic, and no they did not respond

    • Barking Mad says:

      So it’s freezing cold and the acoustics are terrible. Valuable info we all need to know about the event. She is so relevant, so in tune with the tech world!

      She said she is “overdressed” and freezing. Any bets she wore a prom dress?

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        No matter one’s feelings about Rachel Skalr – it’s funny to read Julia at the same event, hee hawing and complaining vs. someone really covering it and having a point of view.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      You rang?

  13. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 2h
    @rachelsklar – I think I should leave the actual conference & come over to your apt so we can watch while swaddled in giant fleece blankets.
    View conversation ·

    Such a professional, our Donkey. Rachel has the good sense to ignore a Donkey.

    Oh, by the by, a Donkey gained another 5,000 Twitter followers overnight. So popular! Bridge and Tunnel Communications is doing such an AMAZEBALLS job at her PR – not one article about a Donkey yet and still they’ve gotten her 30,000 new Twitter followers in a week!

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Unfortunately, 99% of the people out there, including people in media, don’t know you can buy followers and don’t bother to check any of the names on the list or who actually replies to and retweets her drivel. So the buying thing will benefit her in the exact way she wants by furthering the fraudulent notion that she is influential, connected, important, etc.

      Sad but true.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        I agree, though I believe people who throw money at “influencers” will soon be burned so many times that Julia will only be able to pull this scam so long.

  14. miss assvice says:

    Julia Allison ‏@JuliaAllison
    Yes, let’s take a look at The Life of Julia. (LOL) http://www.barackobama.com/life-of-julia

    Seriously?!?! pick a side and pay attention to tech crunch you loon.

    She is at a wonderful place right now, she could learn so much, but rather than listen to the interviews she is surfing the intetrnet.

  15. donkolnikov says:

    She just tweeted:

    “We need to teach the internet to forget.” Digital Vertigo at TechCrunch

    YOU WISH DONK

    • miss assvice says:

      I take that as a Yoo Hoo haters forget me now. Which will never happen.

      • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

        We are not “the internet”. We are real people. If you erase the internet, our precious memories will remain…as will our hard drives.

    • melting marionette says:

      “I’m good enough,” the King said, “only I’m not strong enough. You see, a minute goes by so fearfully quick. You might as well try to stop a Bandersnatch.”

    • Donkutation Defender never did manage to scrub the internet free of “Julia Allison’s Steaming Piles of Shit”, eh Donkey?

  16. JuliaCleaver says:

    Dear Jules,

    Steps to Have Internet Forget You:

    1. Leave the Internet
    2. YOUR WELCOME!

  17. KrakenSkulls says:

    “We’re all becoming quantifiable. We’re becoming data.” – Digital Vertigo at Techcrunch #Disrupt

    This sounds like the stupid Jack Handey shit they trot out at the get-rich and also self help seminars j attends in hope she will either get rich or that it will count as therapy.

    That doesn’t mean anything. HOLY SHIT WE ARE QUANTIFIABLE? What are you? Just graduating Pre-Algebra? We’ve always been discreet physical objects, unless you want to get quantum molecular up in this cooch and argue we’re all just a soup of loosely knit twirling bags of molecules, floating aimlessly and colliding every now and then.

    Don’t call me Data, bitch. I opt-out. I do not want to be tracked, monitored, stored or profited on by others without my permission. Calling me Data implies I will never be able to maintain possession of the ripple effects of my activities. The fact we’ve lost this right to privacy and it is even celebrated makes me want to invest in poorly made wooden shacks.

    Why is she there again? JOO ARE NOT A REPORTER JULIA. YOU HAVE NO COLUMN, WRITING ABILITY, OR AUDIENCE?

    • Peltergeist says:

      You know what? At this point I blame anyone who will give her a press pass. Why would she even question herself when companies and conferences are willing to waive fees for her, give her free stuff, and let her play journalist?

    • Peltergeist says:

      And by the way, she IS data. She goes directly in that budget expenditure column for all of the free stuff she gets, which costs companies money.

    • Jane says:

      discrete :) love you! mean it!

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      Not if we’re anonymous. #catladieswin

  18. This one is a no-boner says:

    Man, this crow tastes goooooood. nom nom nom. I’ve just caught up with all of the RBD posts over the last couple of weeks. Hopefully, like Julie says ‘the internet will forget’ that I lashed out in a poolside drunken haze in Miami over a post that I completely misconstrued and didn’t even finish reading before commenting. I totally read two paragraphs and thought you’d all gone soft… until last night, when I was reading from that post on and have been howling since 2AM… I digress.

    OK, a couple of things to get off my chest after all of this epic reading!

    1) In the new-ish Miss Despised preview, Julie comes across as a drunken desperate slut. The other two are dull with a capital DULL… but, my dog, Julie! You’ve waited this long for an actual audience and cameras and THIS is how you portray yourself?? DISASTER. Total disaster. A drunken crying mess. This was your chance! UGH.

    2) See 1.

    3) New York was beautiful this weekend until about 2AM. Coincidence?

    4) Seriously, see 1 again. Read it carefully.

    I’d like to publicly apologize to the Baugher family in advance of the premiere. I actually have sympathy for them.

    With love, No-Boner

    And! RRR! Where have you been? Love you and your comments!

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      1) But every person on reality TV gets shitfaced and stupid. I might be willing to believe Julia was mostly a teetotaler, counting her sips when she drank until the show aired. Hell, maybe she has an alcohol problem and actually tries to control it. So she was inexperienced in controlling herself drunk off her ass. Interesting how she isn’t sure right now if she was totally exploited or not. She is going to wait until the show airs to start proclaiming how she was drunk in every shot they used if everyone laughs at her.

      3) Hah!

      • This one is a no-boner says:

        Well, judging from the previews thus far, she better start Twatting, Fumblr’ing and Fans-in-the-Stansbooking her usual tee-hee-hawing and Um, Err… Oops’. Her portrayal is unhinged, even by reality tv standards. I hope she likes the airport anonymity now, because once this show airs – the pointing and laughing will be off the rails at her NY’s, LA’s and SF’s. Not the fame she was looking for, me thinks. Oh, well, on the bright side? The show will tank anyhow, no need to worry about long-lasting ‘fame.’ The second hand embarrassment is giving me the shakes.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      I am waiting for my personal apology.

  19. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 53m
    “We would have lived our lives differently if we had known that one day they would be searchable.” – Digital Vertigo at Techcrunch #Disrupt

    Oh, Donkey, not only did you know everything you were doing would end up on the internet, you keep barreling down a path of stupid overexposure wanting to be seen MORE, MORE, MORE. If you really believe this quote, why make your Facebook public? All your Facebook photos? Your fuck album? AND WHY BE ON A REALITY TV SHOW?????

    Such a stupid Donkey.

    • FIERICE Mani says:

      She really is stupid. She knows the internet nevah forgets. She did a whole class on it with a power point, pelts off the charts, in a purple dress!

      • Pelts Off the Charts says:

        hope you don’t mind if I steal this awesome meme for my username!!

    • A-Game Content says:

      Not everyone donkey. Some of us would live the same way whether our actions were searchable or not. It’s called integrity.

  20. Julia's Old Nose says:

    Dear Julia and Bravo TV: between a social media expert and a major cable TV network, would it be possible for you to create an actual Twitter background for the launch of a major new TV show? Surely you don’t think that using a banner ad graphic over and over again is the way to go, unless you want to put us all into an epileptic seizure?

    https://twitter.com/juliaallison

    Let’s see if Jules can get this properly fixed by the start of her show. I doubt she will. Anyone want to bet me? I have half a bag of catfood and some warm Franzia.

    • Miss assvice says:

      Technically, an intern with her publicist could make one and give it to her . Her publicist probably is working on bigger things in the queue.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        Those Pawn Stars aren’t going to rep themselves, bunny!

      • Life is unfair says:

        Maybe one of the four (FOUR!) interns Julia&Julia are looking for on that sushi site could help her out.

  21. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    Pretty pathetic that horse-faced, name dropping no talent drag queen Rachel Sklar didn’t even tweet her back. Sklarge is really just a Julia Allison doing it SLIIIIIIIIIGHTLY better – but she’s still a dim fucking bulb. Her passing herself off as a “political commentator” because she Tweet-stalks folks at Politico (like she does EVERYONE) is so grating.

    But even SHE is to good for a Donkey now…

    • anon says:

      Sklar and Julia have been tweeting back and forth. Sklar said she left her battery with J and it’s a good excuse to get together again. Just sayin’

      • AFGHANI says:

        Sklar sucks. Totally loves attention, lacks real talent (aside from memememe). I don’t get why she has defenders here. @Caro I can understand.

  22. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Holy hell.

    I’m at the Webby Awards. Just looked up and standing two feet from me was Le Donk. I literally said “holy shit.”

    To be fair, better looking in person.

    • Miss assvice says:

      I am so sorry you had to encounter her in the wild. I could hear her cackling at tech crunch disrupt in the background today and it made me ill. Being mere feet from her again would be enough to make me vomit n the shower. Good luck tonight.

    • anon says:

      Is she wearing a prom dress?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Was she braying?

      • Pelts Off the Charts says:

        I told my brother to look for an overdressed, braying asshole today at Disrupt but when he had a free moment at about 4pm, he said he couldn’t see/hear her. I’m sure she took the fuck off long before then, I can’t see her putting in a full day anywhere.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Are your ears bleeding?

    • melting marionette says:

      was she leaking scheme juices / bpc?

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Didn’t see her again after that. It was such an odd experience to come across her face to face. The moment of recognition felt startling.

      It was a very loud room. I could not hear any braying. It was 100% about recognizing her upon looking up directly at her.

      • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

        If Donkey’s had a little bit of shut eye, she can be somewhat attractive. If not, she’ll look a good 10-15 years old than her chronological age. However, she clomped in on the redeye and was twattering away early in the a.m. Maybe you were more than two feet away?

  23. bitchface says:

    http://www.internsushi.com/juliajulia

    seriously? They have FOUR positions “open” (i.e. not paid)
    Amazing Editor/Basic Videographer
    Flex. Internship Period LOS ANGELES

    Social Media Rockstar (Music Industry knowledge a HUGE Plus)
    Flex. Internship Period LOS ANGELES

    Stylist
    Flex. Internship Period LOS ANGELES

    Julia Allison Editing Intern
    Flex. Internship Period LOS ANGELES

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Fuck them… you could get all those internships on a LEGITIMATE tv show/movie/studio and actually have something on your resume that would mean something.

      They are disgusting.

      • bitchface says:

        basically:
        video = make us look good, make us sound good
        social media = make us popular
        stylist = make our clothes & make-up look good
        editing = make our “job” work look good

        cuz’ we want to go chase boyssssss!!!!!!
        PS and clean up Lily’s shit

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      I guess no one is interested as Julia has not bothered to update this to say her show premieres in less than 30 days… I suppose this is why she got a bottom of the barrel PR firm b/c she couldn’t get an intern to do her work for her?

      • bitchface says:

        they’re too busy buying twitter followers

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          They sure ARE BUSY buying Twitter followers, a Donkey is up 3,000 followers from this morning! So popular!

    • Princess WideStance says:

      The “stylist” internship is an amazing opportunity to gain valuable experience! You’ll:

      – help dress the star of an amazing new YouTube show, coming to a Cheeto-covered laptop near you (earplugs provided)
      – beg for free clothes from up and coming designers, promising them “visibility”
      – beg for free clothes from big designers, promising them a possible advertising deal with a hit Bravo tv show
      – return prom dresses to Nordstrom on a regular basis
      – comb the Glitter Guide daily for anything pink, frilly or filly
      – arrive “on set” an hour early every day to steam and prep clothes, then wait another two hours for the talent to arrive
      – give the talent a quick sponge bath in the makeup room sink, as talent will be unshowered and you just need to get the first layer of grease off oh dear god where did your dignity go

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        - Have the opportunity to sue the shit out of a Bravo star for violating the very strict internship labor laws of California.

        • JFA says:

          I said something about this below. I thought it was Federal law. I know nothing about this but…the things I would do to see her sued for this absolute disgusting atrocity.

          Stop looking for interns you useless piece of shit. I HATE HER.

      • bitchface says:

        help an old maid squeeze into her size 6 prom dresses through pulled corsets and lots and lot of boobie tape

        stuff claws into smelly heels

        pull fake plastic hair out of zippers and buttons

        attempt to re-attach tags and return smelly, stained dresses to the store for full return

        and don’t forget to walk the dog and clean up its caca!

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      She is such a horrible person, so fucking horrible. Is her company even incorporated? Does it have any employees? In my opinion, she’s looking to take advantage of the unemployed in this shitty economy and its simply out of pure vanity. It’s her true bitchiness come to light, 5 seconds of mediocre fame and she feels she’s entitled to step on those ‘economically’ beneath her. CHEAP. VULGAR. GROSS.

      God what a miscreant P. Baugher raised. The shame would be unbearable.

      I wonder if Toilet Julia even knows that this going on? You would think as a former/current “struggling artist” she would have a kindred spirit with the unemployed. If my business partner came forward with this idea, I’d seriously rethink our relationship (i.e. willing to boondoggle one person, willing to boondoggle me).

      • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

        Oh, Toilet Julia knows:

        @JuliaPriceMusic: Looking for some rockstar interns via @internsushi http://www.internsushi.com/juliajulia!
        4:17 PM – 21 May 12

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        How struggling is Toilet Julia? She has no job to speak of and it looks like she’ll do anything to get ahead, too.

        They are both gross and so is Intern Sushi.

    • KrakenSkulls says:

      Starting to think all those dead-end posts were just part of the “story”. All three sites look similar and have similar business models.

      Julia can’t get a date! So she rents out her apartment and roommate! Mild drunken girl on girl action ensues when the subletter never shows up!

      Julia can’t get a date! She places an ad for a Task Rabbit, hoping it will be the same as “that other Rabbit” *LARGEWINK*. Hilarity ensues as pathetic Julia is denied by the “totally professional and awesome” hunky task rabbiteer.

      Julia can’t get a date! She places an ad for an intern hoping to get a free stunt cock! Hilarity ensues when everyone who answers their ad turns out to be gay and Julia makes out with an Ikea lampshade drunk as fuck!

    • A Donkey is a Ass says:

      Who the hell would want any of these internships? That’s incredibly delusional.

      Did anyone catch the videos they posted. Granted, Flusher’s music video is low-budget and low on creativity. And the song is so incredibly banal and simple, but at least it’s something that’s she attempting to do for a career.

      A Donkey posted a video of her lipdub of the song from Little Mermaid. What the fuck is that? It’s not even the kind of thing a friend would want to see do, yet here’s this fucking asshole posting it to a site intended to make people want to work for you. Seriously, A Donkey. What is wrong with you?

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Is Intern Sushi paired with Bravo? There has to be something more to this – it must help Intern Sushi to have these two dimwits b/c the company is always tweeting about them.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      “Julia Allison & Julia Price have an upcoming reality show that will air on BRAVO this Fall (2012). ”

      When did Balding Julia get added to the cast/credits of Miss. Advised? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1754208/fullcredits#cast

      • Never mind that it’s airing next month & they’re too stupid to update (or too lazy; they’re inexplicably saving that to task an intern with?) …

        If Toilet Julia is just an occasional extra, ie does not truly have a reality show, isn’t this yet more intentional deception by the JuJu Beans that Bravo might take issue with, since they’re using it to fraudulently rope in some illegal interns?

        Donkey really does trust that Dad$er can get her out of any & all legal scrapes, doesn’t she?

      • Wonkeye says:

        She’ll be the sad Kim G of Miss Assvice.

    • A Donkey is a Ass says:

      Who the hell would want any of these internships? That’s incredibly delusional.

      Did anyone catch the videos they posted? Granted, Flusher’s music video is low-budget and low on creativity. And the song is so incredibly banal and simple, but at least it’s something that’s she attempting to do for a career.

      A Donkey posted a video of her lipdub of the song from Little Mermaid. What the fuck is that? It’s not even the kind of thing a friend would want to see do, yet here’s this fucking asshole posting it to a site intended to make people want to work for you. Seriously, A Donkey. What is wrong with you?

    • idiotbox says:

      correct me if i’m wrong, but isn’t an intern supposed to be supervised by a person from whom they could learn? I.e., editing intern supervised by an editor, styling intern by a stylist and so on.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        Silly, idiotbox: those things are only important if you want to establish a mutually beneficial relationship. Donkey is just using her expired popsicle sticks to build another bridge she can burn.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Only if you want to obey the law!!!!! BUT JULIA’S SPECIAL!!!! Special snowflakes don’t need to obey pesky laws!!!!

      • bitchface says:

        Lily is free.

    • JFA says:

      Her intern bullshit always gives me THE RAGES. I don’t know the rules and regs behind this shit but…didn’t someone intimate on here that her internships were technically illegal under Fed law? I would KILL to see her slapped down legally for this shit. SERIOUSLY I WOULD MURDER FOR THAT CHANCE.

      • JFA says:

        Seriously, she’s a goddamn hideous bitch. SHE IS TRYING TO EMPLOY INTERNS AND SHE HAS NO FUCKING JOB. I CAN’T.

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        Here you go, make your own conclusions.
        http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs71.pdf
        The Fair Labor Standards Act
        The following six criteria must be applied when making this determination:
        1.
        The internship, even though it includes actual operation of the facilities of the employer, is similar to training which would be given in an educational environment;
        2.
        The internship experience is for the benefit of the intern;
        3.
        The intern does not displace regular employees, but works under close supervision of existing staff;
        4.
        The employer that provides the training derives no immediate advantage from the activities of the intern; and on occasion its operations may actually be impeded;
        5.
        The intern is not necessarily entitled to a job at the conclusion of the internship; and
        6.
        The employer and the intern understand that the intern is not entitled to wages for the time spent in the internship.

  24. AFGHANI says:

    How (???) does she have multiple chins?

    Also, I’d be a lot more likely to buy a GM product if they hadn’t loaned a dumb donkey a volt. Anyone else feel like you’d never buy a product with which Le Donk is associated? (I do like that GM is bypassing facebook and the Superbowl, though. Less advertising, more focus on educating consumers and competing on features/design/reliability.)

  25. Pelterina says:

    OT but I finally sat down and read “We Need To Talk About Kevin” and, damn, you cat ladies and gents have some good book recs. Such an engrossing read.

    • SchadenfreudianSlip says:

      Going to open myself up to some heat here. The ending was too obvious too early on and I felt the husband and cluelessness was hard to find believable. I read the entire thing hoping I was wrong about how i expected it to end, and unfortunately I was not.

      OK, unleash the hounds.

      • juliaspublicist cried his rhinestone off juliaspublicist says:

        I figured out the ending within the first couple of pages. The letter format was such a giveaway, but I found the the ending poignant, especially the revelation about what was in Kevin’s cell during the TV show, and it made me hate that hosebeast of an insufferable woman even more.

        • Pelterina says:

          I couldn’t decide if I hated her or not. On one hand, I felt like I did because of her actions but on the other, I sympathized somehow, especially as it was her reflecting and trying to understand.

  26. ShesJustStupid says:

    God, she’s at Catch in the Meatpacking District for some Angel Investor party. I hate that place with every fiber of my being. Was forced to go there for dinner months ago and it had all the hallmarks of a trendy nyc money hole: asshole with a clipboard outside, $17 glasses of wine, too dark to read the menu, vacant waitress, snobby hostesses, decent food that you could get for 1/3 the price in the East Village, annoying people. There are some OK places in that area (if you have to go), but I’ve never seen her go any place other than the Gansevoort, The Standard (another horrible place) and now Catch.

    • diluted brain says:

      haha, she always thinks she goes to the hottest spots and never has a clue.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Glad to know she’s showing she doesn’t know a thing about New York. I know San Francisco reasonably well, and just like in NY, the places she visits and revisits and rerevisits here are boring, sometimes pretentious, and always not that great.

  27. so sorry, so fat says:

    she’s fucking quoting game of thrones now. consider my rage button pushed like whoa. #nerdalertdefensesactivated

    • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

      Ahh yes, Tyrion Lannister. I believe he studied under Eckhardt Tolle & is co-writing a dating guide for yoginis with Marianne Williamson. She heard about him at the ashram, thankyouverymuch!

      • darkwing duck says:

        No. Tyrion Lannister’s word do not apply to a Donkey, ever! Halfman!

        p.s. out of lurking to comment on this. Also, Donkeys like JA don’t belong in this century.

    • Foolia Fallacy says:

      I rarely comment — major lurker — but her quoting Tyrion made me almost throw my copy of “A Clash Of Kings” at my screen.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Tyrion has short legs and an unusual build, too. You can see how she’d feel a kinship.

      • A Donkey is a Ass says:

        Not to mention he’s a scheming manipulative sociopath, just like A Donkey.

        The only difference is he’s awesome, and she’s the opposite of awesome.

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          He’s not a sociopath and is probably the most normal out of them all.

          • so sorry, so fat says:

            yes, team tyrion foreva. he’s a very nuanced character in the books (and IMO, in the tv series as well, but to a lesser extent).

    • CaptainGary says:

      So I guess we’ll be waiting for her to state, unequivocally and for the record, that she’s a lazy, grifting, sociopathic attention whore…

      But wait. Wasn’t she JUST quoting someone this morning that was saying the Internet has to learn to forget? I am the lost.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      OH MY FUCKING GOD.

      As if she has ever seen that show, and if she did, as if she wouldn’t DESPISE it because of the tits and the violence. She saw that on someone’s FB profile or some other retardo place and probably believes Tyrion Lannister is a real person.

      OMG the idiocy.

      • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

        Yep, my point exactly. She probably thinks he’s some new age guru and has absolutely no understanding of the context in which this was said. Dolt.

      • Joardache & the Pelts says:

        I think the books/series are beyond her reading/cognitive comprehension. I even have trouble keeping all the characters and royal families straight (especially the Baratheons) and have to check wiki pages to keep track. Game of Thrones would be too much of an effort for Julia. She would get confused. I agree that she probably thinks Tyrion Lannister is some ye old classical philosopher. She reminds of an aacquaintance who recently posted on FB that she is going to Tibet on some grant and will finally get to meet the Dalai Lama.
        I am engrossed in the series – and working on the books – despite being decidedly not into fantasy or dragons or dwarves. the fantasy element is a hard sell for many people – I keep on recommending the series saying its good political drama and excellent exposition and narrative but it’s hard to get people past the dragons.

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          Everyone I recommend the books to and they actually read them end up loving them, regardless of their past literary preferences.

        • Donkey of Perdition says:

          If you haven’t read them and love the tv show, you are really missing out…so much more depth, metaworld mythology, and back stories.

          • so sorry, so fat says:

            *whispers* is this a safe space to admit that I have read all the books twice? I have a huge space in my heart for lengthy sci-fi/fantasy series, and found good old George RR a few years back (long enough that I was writhing in agony over the delayed release of the last two books). I was initially resistant to the HBO series (you know when you get that weirdly protective feeling about books that you love?), but am really pleased by the way it’s been done.

            okay, going to go squirrel away again. kitty kisses to fellow Game of thrones fans.

      • I gotta see this; I fucking love Peter Dinklage.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          He is incredible in this. Really grand old-school acting. I would love to see him do Shakespeare now—maybe Midsummer Night’s Dream or Richard III?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I too am enraged. I want to curse her with dragons. Or set Joffrey on her.

    • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

      And you know she’s never seen the series and isn’t acquainted with Peter Dinklage, much less read the books. Not when she’d underlining and drawing angel investor kisses in Tony Robbins’s latest. Yes, rage is the appropriate reaction here.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        And she’d hate the show and him because: “Eww, midget. Ewwwww!! Midget having more sex than me!!! This is not what I meant by tiny and cute!!!!”

      • so sorry, so fat says:

        THIS and this. She’s probably staying with someone who watches the show, and since it’s on sunday night (when she got in), i’m guessing it might have been a topic of conversation. For the life of me I will never understand how she manages to consistently be so incredibly stupid and juvenile (jumping weirdly on cultural references, but not actually understanding the context and looking like a 13-year-old).

        Hey, more power to her if she actually reads and watches the series, but I think it’s more likely that she’d outsource this “game of thrones thing” to an intern.

  28. Brent-the-Donkey-handler says:

    double chin + orange eyebrows = sexy limo time

  29. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    I’m sure Ben Lerer’s wife must love the tweeting between the two of them. Amazing how my opinion of him has plummeted based on his tweets to and from Donkey. I thought more of the guy.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      Completely repulsive. And she sounds wasted.

    • JFA says:

      I actually envy this woman at least one thing: She has a perfect excuse to cut a bitch. I would relish that opportunity with JA. Then again, if my significant other ever flirted with her publicly, they would be dead to me.

      • miss assvice says:

        She was completely drunk off her ass. I heard this morning that she was “aggressive” as she calls it to all men at the angel investor party. She is wallet hunting and she does not belong there

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        She’s also, once again, back on the WGGS (white girl gang sign, if you will) in just about all those tweets. It doesn’t grate as much as it used to but oh my god, does it NEVER stop being cringe-inducing. Tubs of canklehausen ointment required for what may be soon-to-be-deleted tweets… or kept, because she needs proof he was actually responding to her. She still desirable, people, even to men with wives! Sad.com/ohhoney.html

        @BenjLerer – raging nerd pot to kettle, I’ll be here until SATURDAY, foo. And then back again before Bravo show premieres June 18! Woo!

        @BenjLerer – nooooooooo!!!! You IZ ON WRONG COAST, my tight teed compatriot. I will cry until you return, swathed in rays of Silicon glory.

        @BenjLerer – fffffff —- kkkkk how did I miss you at Techcrunch, The Webbys, or SV Angel party tonight?!? WHERE B BE AT!!?

        I LOVE ME SOME DWOLLA!! RT @ajt: Just found out that @juliaAllison is a big @dwolla fan!!! #TCDisrupt

        *shudders* Also, this…
        Yes, let’s take a look at The Life of Julia. (LOL) http://www.barackobama.com/life-of-julia

        Like, what does that even mean? Perhaps she posted this to be SO WITTY! FUNNY! ABREAST OF POLITICS! (read: narcissistic as usual), but if you actually go through the slideshow, fake Julia is/has – naturally – accomplished far more than “real” Julia. Not sure why she’d want to make that parallel, even for the sake of faking being political (she tries not to have any views, bunny, except when there’s prestige, controversy or a wallet attached!). It all just comes off flat, out-of-touch and weird.

  30. JFA says:

    I don’t know if this link’ll work, but check out the absolutely SCINTILLATING commentary on their own picture. If the show will be this witty, I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT.

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10100121153688845&set=p.10100121153688845&type=1&theater

    • JFA says:

      “Julia Allison: Emily, we all look like we’re from Texas originally, or perhaps we own hair spray companies and are attempting to IPO them after our show airs.” LOL!!!!! What a card!!!!

      She’s so painfully unfunny. Always. Without fail. Also, fuck you and your faux self-deprecation, honey. We know you think you look fabulous.

      • What about her previous comment?

        Julia Allison: I really just don’t understand what is going on with my hair in this photo. Sigh.
        May 14 at 4:50pm

        What? The Fuck? has ever been going on w/ Donkey’s be-pelted plastic sausage curls that makes sense to anyone not of the Toddlers & Tiaras Pageant Mom Persuasion?

        And what is Julia Allison complaining about, anyway? She got the requisite “Likes” from her bought-&-paid-for Fecebook followers 李里人, Ernesto M. Manosalvas, Mendim Gashi, Anies Luhukay, Adib LeoQue, Ugenk Bieber Pedro,
        Omer Yusuf, Khaled Saint, Naveed Ahsan, Andre Vaseghi,
        Sinor Wid & Omer Bin Sohail
        , that’ll keep her in cheesy skillet shilling gigs, amirite?

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        Oh, honey. In Texas, we would never the Donkey. Our hair is big, but our cuntdar works just fine.

        Namaste!

  31. This one is a no-boner says:

    Ace Hotel? Ace Hotel bar? JERSAYYYY with a touch of LAWNGYLAND. I expected more from Brit, I did. This is what happens when hicks read USWeekly’s ‘Seen’ or ‘Sightings’ section from 6 months ago.

    I’m so very excited for the premiere! It’ll be interesting to see Julie in the realm of actual famous people, and not just the Gawker tools that made her a ‘micro celebrity.’ Andy Cohen is a very connected man (Kelly Ripa, SJP, Anderson, Barkin, Chen & Moonves etc)… therefore, you know A Donkey feels she’s basically connected to all of them as well. Let me tell you about actual famous people, dear heart, they can sniff a grifting do-nothing famewhore from 5 miles away. You are orbiting their world as an outsider and without any talent or skill. They will have none of it. Emily and Amy have jobs at least and are being ‘documented’ in Miss Shelved After This Season. You are the train wreck climber being made fun of for all of America to see. Brit in from SF? To see you during WebTools? All of those strategic friendships will disappear as you, once again, will be kryptonite and even more of a joke. Hear this: Get a job, get a little therapy (My brother once told me the only girl he wouldn’t date is a girl that didn’t make it as an actress- they’re the worst and unhappiest)… and it relates to you as well. Circa 2008. I hope the angel investing works out for you, but more so I hope you find happiness out of life and yourself, rather than the need to place yourself amongst ‘the better people.’ You are not them, you were not born to be them. I think you could have actually done something big here back in the NY day. You had drive then, connections, proximity. I bet your parents were even proud of you then. You’d probably write them or call and say Did you see me on Gawker? Newww York Cittyyy Loves me Momma! Then done LOVE me in this big ol City!! And then… poof. It all went away, and you’re the Britney to Emily and Amy’s Meryl and Blanchett. Those calls to Momsers and Dadsters might be a little different now, huh? PS, Marina Yell Bray called. They’re missing their Gangster Sick Whip Tweeter.

    • This one is a no-boner says:

      And a personal apology to JuliasPublicist. I sorry.

      • This one is a no-boner says:

        And Julie: DON’T TWEET WHILE DRUNK. Go read your feed this morning? Embarrassed much?

  32. ShesJustStupid says:

    The tweets. CRINGE.

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9h
    @BenjLerer – raging nerd pot to kettle, I’ll be here until SATURDAY, foo. And then back again before Bravo show premieres June 18! Woo!
    View conversation ·

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9h
    @BenjLerer – nooooooooo!!!! You IZ ON WRONG COAST, my tight teed compatriot. I will cry until you return, swathed in rays of Silicon glory.
    View conversation ·

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9h
    @BenjLerer – fffffff —- kkkkk how did I miss you at Techcrunch, The Webbys, or SV Angel party tonight?!? WHERE B BE AT!!?
    View conversation ·

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 9h
    I met up with @brit (in from SF), in NY tonight. We were both rockin’ the dots. @ Ace Hotel Lobby & Bar instagr.am/p/K6lxHTiVec/
    View details ·

    Julia Allison @JuliaAllison 10h
    OBSESSED. I want them to do my closet! RT @brit: Check out this CRAZY before & after of our craft room at Brit HQ: brit.co/living/before-…
    View details ·

  33. ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

    Interesting that the other two featured in Miss Advised, Amy and Emily, have maintained their so-called “personal brands” intact and have continued to build followers on FB and Twitter at a reasonable pace and based on actual people who have heard about them.
    Meanwhile JABa has contorted her latest online identity into Miss “Miss Advised”, doesn’t bother herself anymore with even the minimum level of effort she put into NonSociety previously, has purchased for herself more that twice the followers she had a couple of weeks ago on twitter (with probably more than half of THAT original amount bought and paid for as well), and claims to be starting yet another online persona, this time with her most recent sister, one of the two Julias who left NY together for the bright lights of LA. (“Don’t mention the year in Chicago!” – Basement Dweller Fawlty)
    The blatant, desperate fakery and completely unhinged sense of self continue to perplex.
    I’m thinking the “gotcha” irony of her unchecked narcissism is that it’s supposed to be all about her, but there ain’t no her there; instead we see plasticine on shifting sand, taking the shape of her adopted identities du jour until the next wind/(wallet) blows through and/or it’s expedient to pretend she is somebody/something else. So hollow, and it’s exhausting to witness. (And I DO NOT GET her enablers. Do.Not.Get.)

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