Julia Allison Has Conversations With Herself and Calls Them Dates, Believes The Mentally Ill Deserve To Die

Me: One of the guys I’m dating texted me – and I’m QUOTING – “I’m not kidding when I say I have sociopathic tendencies, my dear.” [Ed. Note: Apparently, one of the many men Julia Allison is dating is Henry Higgins]
Via Strong: Subtle.
Me: The f–ked up part is that IT DIDN’T IN ANY WAY DISSUADE ME!! You know how you see a wounded baby wild animal and you want to take it home and nurse it back to health? But you know that instead you should take it to a shelter …
Via: … to be euthanized? Yeah.
Me: Yeah. Sigh.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

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269 Responses to Julia Allison Has Conversations With Herself and Calls Them Dates, Believes The Mentally Ill Deserve To Die

  1. donniedriveby says:

    Hopefully he’ll eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.


  2. sausage curls/fingers says:

    Believes the mentally ill deserves to die? Then she must be suicidal.

  3. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    Glad she’s already over her grandmother dying.

    How do you go from a lengthy, obscenely invasive charade of faux-grief to yukking it up so quickly? Oh, I know: Those wallets won’t chase themselves!

    She isn’t dating anybody.

    • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

      That was indeed a quick turnaround! Usually only sociopaths can pull that off.

    • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

      Nope, she’s still miiiiilking it.

      Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison
      Even if you’ve kept it at bay during the day, the grief always finds you at night.- 13h

      • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

        And never reads here.

      • JFA says:


        I fucking CAN”T with her bullshit. THAT IS NOT FOR TWITTER YOU DOUCHE. Ugh. Absolutely NOTHING is sacred. Why am I surprised. I am PMSing I think.

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        What Norse said. Also, I think back to my beloved grandmother dying and I don’t think I laughed for a solid month afterward. Not that everyone should grieve as I did, but I just cannot relate to this cavalcade of faux-anguish followed by a series of self-promotional tweets about a fucking “webutante ball” and DEEPLY FUCKING UNFUNNY “jokes.” I don’t think Chris Rock coud have gotten me to giggle in the days following my grandmother’s death, let alone this dumb shit she finds so cute and hilarious. Sociopathic piece of garbage.

        • LetItExplode says:

          And even if I did find something funny within 24 hours of said passing I’d be embarrassed to tweet like HAHA! LIFE GOES ON! because I’d worry it would make me look like a dick.

  4. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    1) No one says, “…my dear” but Julia so yes, she made this up

    2) How fuck to be bragging about “dating” (LOL, as if) a sociopath… that is not “adorkable” – that is fucking psycho… I guess as psycho as making this guy up so… spot on for a Donkey

    3) Also… she is a cunt.

    • Julie Booger Is Miss Advised Bravo Miss Advised Andy Cohen Miss Advised Miss Advised says:

      No one says “ONE of the guys I’m dating” either, you say “this guy I’m dating.” If you’re talking to an actual friend, you just say the dude’s name because your friends know. She can’t even write a fake conversation that isn’t hopelessly stilted, because she defaults to pointless posturing and she hasn’t the foggiest fucking clue about friendship.

      • JFA says:


  5. RollsRoyceRevenge says:

    To be fair, it’s her friend Via who initially suggests the euthanaisia. Of course, at this point I don’t believe Via exists either, so there you go.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      We’ve seen photos of Via. She was cute. I have no idea why she wanted a brayhard like Julie Albs in her wedding party.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        If she exists and made the above comment, I personally am not puzzled.

        • About that comment … is anyone else thinking that this is a convo that took place a while back, & Donkey is trotting it out now just to try & make some dude jealous?

          I know that if I’m talking to someone who just had a loved one pass (even if that someone is in the Dating Lots of Guys! Stage of Grief), I still tend to watch my wording & not make flippant jokes about putting someone to sleep because of their inability to be fixed.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            It seems really off to be joking about euthanization while grieving her dearly departed Granny, yes. But you’re forgetting! EVERYTHING she says is a joke! Nothing is to be taken seriously!!!!

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            It wouldn’t surprise me. That’s probably why she saves her ninety billion emails/IMs/texts.

        • mule on rouge says:

          An actual sociopath — sounds like a perfect match! Oh, wait, it’s opposites that attract, not identicals.

          When a man makes it clear that he is incapable of loving or forming a real human attachment to you, and you are not deterred from dating him, then you are not really looking for love, are you, Donkey?

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Really? I think the comment is meant to be deflating of Julie Albertson. I can totally imagine interrupting JAB’s blah blah about her relationship like a wounded bird blah blah by blurting out ‘EUTHANIZE THAT SHIT, BITCH!’

  6. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    Forever Alone.

    Miss Advised #ad

  7. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    OT but I had never seen the Miss Advised promo until tonight and WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    1) The face! I am ringing myself – hard! How in the fuck is she passing that bloated corpse face off as weight gain? Girl, you were at your highest weight 2 years ago circa Codename TK and your face was not that busted

    2) The wonk eye is in crazy full effect. Damn.

    3) She better go on as MANY imaginary dates as she can now because when this show comes out – her cray-cray will be killing boners all of the US and A

    • Still KrakenSkulls says:


      Post that link to the promo again? preferably both US and EU

      • CDB says:


        AK Kitty has gone into a deep depression because of his rejection

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          You weren’t rejected by me, Lover! Roawr!

  8. KS says:

    The guy she is dating is named Kevin.

    • Still KrakenSkulls says:

      or Kate or Karen. the lack of creativity is either a tell or on purpose.

      Obviously this exchange was cribbed from the comments which means she is learning. good for you julia. nope. sociopaths can’t be cured, but at least they can become self-aware and try to avoid unethical behavior. Watch “Dexter”.

      But “never in the land of ever” trust a sociopath. That is the moral of this story/site and it’s legacy for the ages.

  9. DirtyLakeMichigan says:

    Wait. Can this PLEASE be true?? A sociopath who knows he’s a sociopath dating a sociopath who has no idea she’s the same – I’d watch that.

  10. TheSpanishInterrogation says:

    Our Donks never ceases to disgust me.

  11. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    Odd how she found the only other person under 75 who routinely uses “my dear.”

    If this is even true — doubtful — then she doesn’t care because she’s a sociopath too. And he’s trying to get rid of her, assuming, falsely, such a confession would send her fleeing to the hills. Nice try, Destorm. But sociopathy is her calling card.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Also, nothing gets rid of her.

      • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

        Seriously. If someone tells you they are a sociopath on a date:

        a.) you are not on a date,
        b.) they’re not-so-subtly telling you to FUCK OFF.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          This is textbook 101 for a guy – he says he’s a sociopath – what he really means is: I will treat you like shit; I will treat you like shit AND ENJOY IT and tell my friends what a fucking idiot you are; I have no respect for you for dating me, I will never show up on time, take you anywhere nice and when you complain, I will remind you that I told you I was a sociopath which was code for – “all my despicable behavior is excusable.”

          • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

            “all my despicable behavior is excusable.”

            This. Same goes for people who say “I’m broken”, “I have issues”…

            Also, didn’t Jacy get an email with theses statements from a known beast? So, the expectation to excuse all despicable behavior goes both ways. Sociopaths anyone?

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        Except giving her a byline.

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      Some straight English guys say “my dear” — is she still hung up on Michael Acton Smith?

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        PS He is best friends with raging narcissist Paultato Carr. Birds of a feather etc.

  12. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    Executing the mentally ill? I think this is an appropriate time for Kitler to make an appearance.

  13. JFA says:

    Look at how she dealt with Redacted’s alleged bipolar disorder. SHE CAN’T HELP WANTING TO HELP MEN WITH MENTAL DISORDERS, it’s just her nature! Don’t try to stop her!

    Sigh. If only she were a little less caring.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      She should have gotten a tattoo of LRR for lather rinse repeat, that seems to be her life’s motto more than LIU.

      • mule on rouge says:

        It only looks like “LIU” from her perspective. When she holds out her arm, everybody else sees “NFL” — total boy bait, ya’ll.


        • JFA says:

          That is without fail one of the worst tattoos I have ever seen. It’s worse than a shamrock, or a tribal tattoo. It’s a wrist tramp stamp.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Or “NFP” — Never Fuck Psychopaths. It’s a warning, dudes!

  14. Fully Cooked says:

    Anyone else wanna bet she’s reading 50 Shades of Grey and “just so happens” to have found herself a Cristian Grey, when it’s the cool thing to do? I’d put my money on this being the subject of her Elle dating piece….
    *big fat eye roll*

    Is there ANYTHING in her life that she doesn’t try to synch with pop culture?!

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      Feel free to relax.
      Julie is an almost-Ivy, and her family discusses really important things instead of watching the TV. And she likes MAPS.
      I hope that helps!

      • AFGHANI says:

        LOL @ “almost Ivy”. “Almost Ivy” would make sense for MIT, Stanford, Duke, Caltech, Johns Hopkins, Amherst, Williams, or Swarthmore. Georgetown’s stats are lower. Like, considerably lower. People know about Georgetown because it is in a nice area of the nation’s capitol and, even then, its undergrad admissions is less competitive than Notre Dame, which is also not an “almost Ivy”.

        • AFGHANI says:

          “undergrad admissions process”.. so sorry, so fat. Going back to gardening (it’s really nice outside today!)

        • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

          Thanks again, Afghani. I can always count on you and Julia Allison to make me feel shitty about where I chose to attend college.

          • JFA says:

            LOL! I know you and you are brilliant so shut up! 🙂

          • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

            And I know you and you are brilliant! Perhaps you can give me some advice? My best friend, who’s fluent in seven languages, went to the University of Iowa–OMG! A state school! Do you think I should re-rank our friendship?

          • JFA says:

            It depends. There are so many variables! What did he get on his SATs? Where there contributing factors to his decision to go to that school, such as financial considerations or familial hardships? Did he graduate with honors? Did he attend a higher ranked grad school, perhaps an IVY or “Almost Ivy (TM)?” In the end, sometimes it’s acceptable, nay, DESIRABLE, to “slum it” with the plebes. He may have had an Ivy league soul and just missed his window.

          • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

            Well, he didn’t take an SAT; he took an ACT. There. I’ve said it. It’s true. We can’t rank him at all on that variable. As for the family variable, his dad owns a Dairy Queen and his mom is a nurse–no small gift of 10K upon graduation, I’m afraid. Grad school? He never went but is now nearly running a TV network in L.A. Dealing in lowest common denominator culture and it’s not even NBC? Doesn’t look good. I await your calculations. Will your ranking appear in the next U.S. News & World Report?

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            I made the “small gift of $10,000” joke to my dad when discussing what I want for my upcoming birthday, then realized he’s not a catlady. But he could be! When I told him the origin of the meme (“There’s this girl I know, actually we call her Donkey…”), he was disgusted. “Someone you’re friends with called $10,000 a ‘small gift’?!” That took some explaining.

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            @Pilot: The other day I asked someone if their girlfriend was “tiny and cute” (the answer was yes). I felt bad because it just slipped out, but I don’t think they caught on to the bitchy JA undertones.

        • juliaspublicist says:

          GAH! Who the fuck cares about college rankings? I graduated college ten years ago at an OMGFORSHAME STATE SCHOOL. And yet I’m still more awesome.

          • A Donkey is a Ass says:

            I went to a small private liberal art college.

            Excuse me while I slowly walk away with my hanging down.

            *”Christmas Time is Here” plays softly in the background*

          • CDB says:

            I think this is my whole probably.

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            Don’t worry everyone. Here at RBDU we provide the finest Donkology education, far superior to that of University of Gawker. Honorary chancellor Andy Cohen has even recognized the research that goes on here as both academically rigorous and lulztastic.

          • A Donkey is a Ass says:

            Just got back from my sad little walk. Realized I forgot to include the word “head”. Fuck my shitty education.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            People who went to Princeton.

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:


            Yes, my impression of Princeton undergrads is that they seem excellent at many things, but they stand out most for their incomparably elitist attitudes.

            I had a very nice, smart, down-to-earth coworker who did her PhD there and she hated, HATED the undergrads but loved most other people there. Does it even make sense to be so snobby about where you went to college if you were living on a different planet than the more senior academics there?

          • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

            Prof FC:

            Yes! RBDU is an extremely selective institute of higher learning. Are you the only one yet to get through the exhaustively rigorous tenure process?

        • CaptainGary says:

          Oh, jeez. Here comes the AFFperger’s.

          “What? College? Must…rank!”

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Afghani, if you want to be pedantic about it, and I guess you do, most of those schools you listed are equal to or better than most of the Ivy League.

          • LOL. I didn’t go to Princeton, so I can’t be sure, but it seems like Stinky Vee meant Donkey thinks she is almost Ivy League by extension of not where her diploma was purchased from, but rather where her accomplished relatives earned theirs from.

          • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

            I was just thinking that. But that’s why the whole OMG-Ivy thing is so bizarre to me, anyway.

          • LEFOOLIEH says:

            I think Afghani is lulzy too but he talks to much about Princeton and far less (aka never) about Seton Hall. Why come?

        • Donksers says:

          Afghani, your obsessive-compulsive need to rank colleges is REALLY, REALLY WEIRD!!! You’ve been doing it forever, even though people continue to tell you how elitist and obnoxious it is. Fuck Princeton.

          • CaptainGary says:

            Ditto. Like another commenter said (KS? TL;DR?), he REALLY cannot tell the difference between when people are laughing AT him and when they’re laughing WITH him.

            Here’s a hint, AFF – it’s the former. Always, the former.


          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            Why does it upset people so much? It’s Aghani! I think his predictability is funny. Who cares?

          • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

            Pilot, I agree. Afghani is hilarious.

        • JFA says:

          Dude. Seriously. This isn’t Above The Law. I had enough of this kind of conversation when i was applying to law school. This is not the forum.

          It’s fine to be proud of your achievements, it’s fine (though frankly bizarre) to give a crap about admissions stats etc., but you should have learned by now, given you graduated a long while ago…NO ONE likes a braggart, and most people (like 99.9999999% of humans) do not give a shit about any of this.

        • JFA says:

          Not sure if you realize? But “almost Ivy” is LITERALLY a nonsense term. You need to relax.

          • fig says:

            I knew a guy once who tried to prove telepathy in a psych thesis. His results were almost significant!

        • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:


          (inside joke I have a feeling Afghani is going to get)

          • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

            But is it there adult program? I furthered at JHU there.

        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          I can’t believe you boast about where you went to college, AFF. I never boast about where I went to college. I am too busy going to fabulous parties where I am surrounded by glamourous rich people who have never heard of Loren Feldman or Devorah Rose. So there.

      • JFA says:

        totally unrelated because I have no desire to engage AFF on this, I went to an OMG IVY!! and my freshman year roommate was the biggest nasty bitch ever, LITERALLY gave me side eye when I rolled out a little tv when I moved in because her parents were so educated and brilliant and they didn’t watch tv but sat around talking politics…and wouldn’t you know that dumb bitch was always in a catatonic state watching that tv when I got back from class.

        The tv was white and had a built in VCR. Related: I”m fucking old.

        • A Donkey is a Ass says:

          I see your fucked-up TV/VCR roommate story and raise you one.

          One of my roommates when I lived off campus in a shitty 3 bedroom apt had one of those nifty little contraptions. When he wasn’t watching porn on the living room TV (fucking dick, that’s a common area!), he was watching it incessantly on his bedroom set. The difference was his bedroom TV/VCR combo had a framed head shot hailing from his sister’s failed acting career. And that wasn’t even the worst of his creepy-roommate offenses.

          I get the fucking willies just thinking about that guy.

          • DSM-V: JFA Edition says:

            So he spanked to a tv with a pic of his sister on it?

          • JFA says:

            LOL! Jesus. I am thoroughly traumatized still to this day living with that nightmare hose beast. It makes me sad that the 18 year old me didn’t have a fraction of the moxie I have today, because I would have torn that awful snob a new asshole. I really do hope to run into her again one day. It will be a lot of fun.

    • julia's cankles says:

      I had the same thought about her reading Fifty Shades of Grey and trying to make it seem like she’d found herself a Christian. And actually, she did read it about a month or so ago (April 15th, to be exact). She was blowing up her Twitter feed about how she loved their names (they “drip S&M”), how “HOT” or “ridiculous” the book was, how she’d been “squealing” for two hours, blah vom blah.

      • julia's cankles says:

        Christian’s exact words in the book were “Because I’m fifty shades of f*cked up, Anastasia.” Pretty similar to the text, except he comes right out and says sociopathic tendencies.

  15. diluted brain says:

    She is NOT funny! Why does she always pose convo’s that are pointless? Let me try and pretend I’m on fb.

    Me: I just ate a bowl of Special K
    Random: As in the drug??
    Me: No, the cereal.

    • Andy Whorehol says:

      Me: Wow…my feet stink.
      Random: What do they smell like?
      Me: Egg salad and broken dreams.

      • Sausage Snappers says:

        Me: My neck is sore.
        Random: Did you sleep wrong?
        Me: Nah, too many blowjobs.

        • Stripper Shoes at a Funeral says:

          Me: Dang, my neck is sore.
          Random Tiny and Cute Sistah: Too many blowjobs?
          Me: No, bunny, slept funny.

    • Whore My Own Way says:

      Me: I’m really sad.
      Random: What’s wrong?
      Me: I was supposed to inherit a bunch of money but it went to my parents!

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        These are actually amusing. Hers are more in this vein:

        Me: Looks like rain.
        Random: Are you going to take your umbrella when you go out today?
        Me: I guess I should.
        Random: LOL

        • Donksers says:

          Yes, exactly! Hers never have even the smallest trace of humor. She makes Cathy cartoons seem hilarballz.

        • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

          Jacy, I actually laughed out loud at this. :-/

        • Cankles says:

          She probably consults Siri on her OMG iPhone about the weather while looking out the window. Donkey is still 1000 times more annoying than that commercial.

    • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      Me: What is wrong with men? Remember how shocked I was to discover that they are human?
      Random: Human as in a member of our species?
      Me: Yeah. Sigh.

      • Andy Whorehol says:

        Me: What should I wear tonight?
        Random: Clothes.
        Me: LOL!!!!

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          Me: What do you think? The blue or the green top?
          Random: I like the blue
          Me: Are you sure?
          Random: Yes. It goes better with your eyes.
          Me: LOL!!!!

    • JFA says:

      JA: (Random unfunny observation most people have had a dozen times by the age of 12, or don’t think about because they aren’t idiots (insert at least one SAT word used incorrectly))
      “Friend”: (Bemused expression and/or barely concealed disgust)
      JA: (pat expression signaling one either concurs and/or is amused)

      Bonus points for: Humblebrags, intimation of lesbianism, allusions to “hipsters.”

      Something like…

      JA: Wow! It’s so sunny in LA! I never realized how much I missed the sun until I got here, I was so lugubrious before in NY!
      “Friend”: Yeah the sun is pretty great.
      JA: Yes! Related: I sure am going to spend a lot more money on waxing! 🙂

    • JFA says:

      These are making me die laughing btw.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      This text-to-movie of Julia and Megtard never gets old:


  16. Sausage Snappers says:

    She learned nothing from her relationship with [redacted – OG]. Changing a man just does not happen.

    • AFGHANI says:

      Changing a man (or anyone, really) does not happen unless he has a good reason and wants to change.

    • AFGHANI says:

      Also, I think [Redacted] made significant changes in his life/values/habits after he left Julia. He even had some system called “Jake has standards” which was pretty insightful. And, of course, he did Odwick the year after he left Julia too. I think he met his wife during that time (someone correct me if I’m wrong).

      So, yes Redacted did change significantly, just not for Julia. And it seems to have made him happier.

      Also? I hate myself for knowing this type of crap… ok back to gardening now, for real this time.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:


        He was a mop-topped cuntcloth when he was with her.

        He is now a bald cuntcloth.

  17. Sincerely Curious says:

    “You know how you see a wounded baby wild animal and you want to take it home and nurse it back to health?” Julia asks.

    Well…it hasn’t ever happened to me, but okay. She could have said something about seeing a puppy in a shelter or something–something that’s a bit more commonplace. But that’s not the worst part of her analogy.

    My question is, how does someone being a sociopath in any way resemble a “wounded baby animal?” I would argue there’s absolutely no way in which one resembles the other. A sociopath is essentially a predator. A sociopath is more like an alligator waiting in the shallow part of a river to bite your legs off.

    Typically one steers as far clear of such things as possible, especially if they give you fair warning. “Hey, I’m right here in the river, and I’m feeling hungry. Come on in for a swim!”

    Apparently she finds that sort of thing cute.

    But more to the point, as others here have stated, the conversation is likely to have been completely made up, just a Julia Alison fiction. Why does she think it’s funny? Who can say? Why does a hurricane sometimes sweep through one town and not another? Why does one tree fall on a house and another tree falls in an empty field?

    Julia has her own rules, she operates on principles that have everything to do with her own internal machinations, and very little do with what makes sense, what might be funny, or true, or interesting.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      What it really reveals about her is what gives me the LOLs:

      Transbraytion: “I used to be Tiny and Cute and my face used to not resemble a bloated corpse left in the Hudson Rivers for months on end… back then I could get hot guys who were FOUNDERS!!!!! Yup, they used to fly me and my sisters to Aspen and St. Barths. They used to fly across country for a date with me – Yoo hoo, Toph!!!! See you on the top of Runyon (throws gang signs). Some even dressed up in Pink and took me on theme dates (with limos SQUEE!!!!!) or let me pick out one of five dresses to wear (of course I kept them all – duh!!!!)

      But those days are sadly over. I don’t know why!!! My haters say it’s all the botox and restalyne I put in my face but COME ON, that just makes me more beautiful!!!! The men have been calling less frequently and now I only date men who are rappers on YouTube, sociopaths that even women who write to men in jail wouldn’t date and quite frankly I’m tired of blowing guys for Payless shoes (even if they do look EXACTLY like YSLs.

      But GOOD NEWS, my new show Miss Advised (ad) is going to get me right back up on top, LITERALLY!!!! (I’m really the star of the show… they were going to rename it but there were some legal issues, I bet). Yeah, so look out bitches!!!! For now I’ll open my clam dungeon for sociopaths but in a few months… IT’S BACK TO DATES IN PROM DRESSES, YO!!!!!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Exactly. Her writing is so awful and her analogy so *off*.

      If you do find a ‘wounded baby wild animal’ and take it to a shelter, it’s with the hope that THEY will nurse it back to health, since they have the proper training to do so. Not that they’ll have to put it down.

      And as someone else pointed out, how fucked up to mention putting someone down when her grandmother’s body is barely cold. Class = she has none.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yes. She is such an imbecile. Or (if this was a real conversation), Via was cold snapping on her, and Julie Amazeballz was too dense to catch that.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      This. I dated someone who later (during that ineffable period when she was more or less stalking me) told me she was a diagnosed sociopath, and this was NOT my reaction to the news. Julia’s reaction = totally unnatural. I’m pretty certain that either Julia barely knows this guy or she made the whole thing up, because if she had even had a decent conversation with him, learning his diagnosis would explain a lot of his more puzzling behavior.

      After her extreme exaggerations of her intimacy with Pancakes and a bunch of other clues like this sociopath story, I’m starting to think that Julia is entirely incapable of being intimate with someone. Her constant braying about relationships is so similar to and for the same reason 11 year olds are always giggling about sex; she’s never had one.

      • Stinky Velour Couture says:

        love you—

        It’s ALL true as you say

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        Intimacy requires the ability to be vulnerable AND growing to know another human. It means being interested in someone that’s not you. So, yeah, she will never know intimacy. Whenever she pisses me off, I remind myself of this, because it also means she will never be happy. :))))

    • JFA says:

      I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • JFA says:

      Also this story serves several purposes in her warped mind. She thought it was funny. She thought it made her sound at least slightly desirable (a chance to mention YET AGAIN that she is “dating” multiple “men”). It makes her feel better about her complete failures at dating (it’s not me it’s THEM! EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS.). She thought it made her seem altruistic (I don’t even write off SOCIOPATHS! That’s how caring I am!). She always bizarrely needs to brag about talking to girlfriends (to convince herself/others she actually has them).


      Does she ask the stupid bitches she hangs with if it’s okay before she posts this crap? Why do I even ask? Course she doesn’t. Who would want to be her fucking friend? I don’t get it. People are losers.

      • Norse Horse, Task Ass says:

        I think the purpose of micro-fictions like this are 1. to show she’s an “adventurous” dater, and 2. it’s always the fault of the men she dates- they’re crazy and damaged, not her!

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Are you suggesting that Donkey’s conversation with Via is a made-up conversation about a made-up conversation?

          Donkey is…

          Yes, Prof FC, I liked this image and am stealing it.

  18. pearipathetic donkey says:

    So quirky that Julia, she dates sociopaths! Bold move for a woman who was a victim of stalking and date rape.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Ha! Good point… it’s almost like she made all that stuff up!

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        She was also……….. (wait for it)…….. INSIDE!!!!!!!

        It’s ALMOST like there was someone else who was more deeply wounded by that incident than Julia was. That’s pretty inconceivable, I know, but as Sherlock says, “once we strip away the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how implausible, must be the truth.”

  19. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    Are we to understand that she said, “Sigh” aloud?

  20. JFA says:

    Don’t sociopaths have no conscience or self-awarness vis-a-vis other people? So how the fuck does what he said even make sense? Sociopaths don’t walk around saying that they are such. It’s not on their fucking radar.

    So dumb. But really sounds like a keeper maybe, how much money does he make? #eyeontheprize

    • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

      I know there are people who will say they’re sociopaths, but I’m never sure if they’re actually sociopaths or just… wanna-bes. The latter being incredibly sad to me. Of all the things to glorify, really, that?

      Nevertheless, it’s safe to say that someone who aspires to sociopathy is probably not someone one wants to get to know on a deep and emotional level either. Not something I’d brag about, The Sane and Emotionally Healthy Julia That You Are Now, but that’s just me.

      • Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

        I think when someone claims to be a sociopath, it could be true, but it is most likely just an excuse for bad behavior or a warning about bad behavior to come.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I think people who say they’re sociopaths are either people with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder who think it would be cooler to be a sociopath, or people who actually are sociopaths but don’t think they are who think it would be disarming to self-deprecatingly call themselves sociopaths.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I have known at least two full-scale sociopaths who were quite aware of their condition and open about it. The first was someone in counseling who made a concerted effort to play by real world rules – he came across as slightly autistic more then anything. The second was a charming and very handsome chap who simply saw his announcing of the fact as a green light to completely demolish anyone stupid enough not to believe him.

        Not everyone with a personality disorder is a monster; not everyone who says that they’re a monster is joking.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          I totally understand that; my ex-husband is a benign sociopath. He somehow makes an excellent ex-husband, though.

  21. Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

    I just read this article in the NYT about psychopath children… http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/magazine/can-you-call-a-9-year-old-a-psychopath.html?ref=magazine&pagewanted=all

    This section reminds me of Julia not giving a shit about her parents grounding her and riding off to the country club to throw herself a birthday party:

    “Most kids, if you catch them stealing a cookie from the jar before dinner, they’ll look guilty,” Frick says. “They want the cookie, but they also feel bad. Even kids with severe A.D.H.D.: they may have poor impulse control, but they still feel bad when they realize that their mom is mad at them.” Callous-unemotional children are unrepentant. “They don’t care if someone is mad at them,” Frick says. “They don’t care if they hurt someone’s feelings.”

    • LetItExplode says:

      Yes. I can’t remember her ever fretting about hitting soneine’s feelings. The only time she cares about burning a bridge is if she wants something. She only gets upset when her ego is threatened–like after being dumped.

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        Her stupid Post-It notes to PK and cheapo bodega flowers for him only started after she started fretting that he’d dump her after the raging cuntitude she displayed after birthcray 2010, IIRC. That worked a treat, eh?

  22. Frequent Liar Miles says:

    AS IF she knows anything about animal welfare.


  23. Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

    Good luck with that, Jules. I’m sure it’s going to turn out amazeballs.

  24. bitfchface says:

    ok leaving alone the stupid posts of her “re-creating her grandma’s photos with clothes she already owns” shit, WHAT THE FUCK is this????????

    Seriously I am calling animal patrol. The pictures are enough proof that this fucking MORON shouldn’t take care of any other living being EVER.

    • Ex Spurt says:

      Totally agree, that bitch looks starved.

      Oh, and then there’s Lily, always with the sad little face. 🙁

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      It’s one thing for Julia to be the fucking cunt that she is – but Julia Price… really????? Really????

      PS, my poor dog cut had her eye cut really bad two weeks ago and she started obsessively licking (putting her tongue in and out) to show her anxiety like we saw Lily do in the video where both Julias are screaming at her. And I just started crying – but at least my dog could be comforted.

      These bitches are AWFUL.

    • Donksers says:

      That poor dog looks catatonic.

    • bitfchface says:

      I don’t even understand the physics of this picture. Skinny bitch’s arm is bent, so what is supporting Lily? Is she flying thru the air/ swinging her? Is she grabbing her by the neck? WTF? The dog’s back and butt are not supported!

      And that smug bitch with her ramalamadingdong overkill jewelry on. I wish this site was killing them both softly with our words….

      • Prof. F Camping says:

        here i thought hairy julia was SWFing toilet julia, but is it the other way around? if i cover up her head that could almost be a picture of julia at fashion week.
        ps. i think toilet julia’s arm is bent, you can see a finger behind, near lilly’s paw. so the dog is kind of being cradled; but her eyes say “help me!”

        • bitfchface says:

          but how? The arm is not supporting the butt/back (even if bent?) with her hand up by her neck?

          • Prof. F Camping says:

            eh, dunno. i said kind of


      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I think you spelled your name wrong.

        Other than that, you’re gold.

    • RollsRoyceRevenge says:



    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      She’s dressed like Julia.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      Jesus — if ever there was a need for bangs, it’s this. Even wangs might be a solution.

    • Sake Bombardier says:

      That dog has left its body.

  25. Ex Spurt says:

    Did anyone else notice the ram in the donkey mirror shot? The look on his little face, the bystander WTF seen in so many Donk pics.

    • FIEIRCE Mani(pedi) says:

      I just noticed him too….I think he’s saying: “Baa-ram-ewe! Baa-ram-ewe! To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true! Sheep be true! Baa-ram-ewe!”

  26. bitchface says:

    and now we know where she gets the skirt pull (and bows in the hair from)

    JA: “My grandmother, around the same age (18 or so). I would wear this outfit now!!”

    • bitchface says:

      btw I actually love old pictures. Just making fun of the skirt pull origin (not the picture itself)

      • Albie Quirky says:

        The skirt pull was kind of a thing in Hollywood and other glamour shots back then, so even though the young Marilyn looks silly, it’s cute-silly.

        A Donkey doing it in the 21st century just makes her look fucking deranged.

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:


        • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

          The skirt pull is actually a residual curtesy that probably started with the crinoline. You pull your dress away at both sides to allow a degree of closer contact with another woman. It was also a way of establishing a lateral relationship. Alice, pictured below, is dropping a full curtesy because the Queen is (a.) the older woman and (b.) the fucking Queen , for God’s sake. I don’t know why the hell I’m telling you this. It’s 4:30 in the fucking morning. I am out of vodka.

      • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

        All I see is Nellie Olsen.

    • Prof. F Camping says:


      • bitchface says:


    • Celisse says:

      Oh man is she also wearing black stockings ala JA’s crazy black tights?

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Probably just opaque nylon or silk stockings as were the norm at that time. Sheer stockings didn’t really become affordable until after World War II.

        • Frequent Liar Miles says:

          Leg make-up was also an option, and an eyeliner pencil would be used to create a seam.

          P.S.: Do I smell spray-tan?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I think NGMB would have been 18 in maybe 1938 or 1939? Probably before the wartime shortage of nylon stockings, anyway. Reading about women drawing seams on their legs to mimick stockings always made me o_O.

      • bitchface says:


        • Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

          When was this photo of Julia Allison taken?

          She does look like she’s put on a little weight here. Maybe she is, in fact, telling the truth that it’s just weight gain and not injectables…

          • pearipathetic donkey says:

            How dare you! This is what 138 lbs looks like … um, err, oops?

          • Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

            Bunnies, it just means she’s happy! Happy fat! Expect kissy faces to compensate!

  27. Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

    From Julia’s Twitter: “No matter where you are on your journey, that’s exactly where you need to be.” – @Oprah

    So I guess that starving child somewhere in Somalia whose mother and father are dead should take comfort in the fact that God/The Universe crafted that very circumstance just for him. As a learning lesson. For his personal growth.

    This kind of thinking is such bullshit. I’m amazed anyone on this planet buys it, much less every other middle class woman thanks to fucking Oprah.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      I wish I could like this comment 1,000 times.

    • Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

      This kind of statement is just the kind of rationalization that comes on the heels of an epic fail. It’s just the journey, bunnies! It’s taking me where I need to go!! You’ll see, angry haters!

      It’s also the kind of rationalization that prevents any growth at all.

      AND it’s the kind of rationalization that people who have had actual difficulties in their lives that were not actually caused by their own braying insanity can really fucking resent.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Smuglosophy from the smugly.

    • donkolnikov says:

      I am a little drink and cannot remember all my high school html knowledge so I will just leave this link here.


      Exactly how I feel about her stupid “you are always where you need to be!!!!1” statements that serve no other purpose than to make her feel like less of a failure.

  28. Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

    Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison
    Saturday night. http://lockerz.com/s/208575779

    So this shows:

    a.) she is drinking
    b.) there is a man’s hand pouring wine for her
    c.) she concludes that they are on a date
    d.) previously mentioned “sociopath” is real?

    Or the sociopath has yet to learn she broadcasted that he is a sociopath, until he sees that she is dating…er, em…TWEETING him.

    • fig says:

      “Oh! *There’s* my person.”

      It’s in love! This should be fun.

    • Scooby Don't says:

      That’s a lot of sips, Donkey!
      Or have you moved on to gulps now?

    • one too twee says:

      There appear to be harnesses hanging on the wall. This must be a real date.

    • Donksers says:

      Being around Donkey when she’s had too many sips would be unbearable.

    • neverbotoxed says:

      That angle is weird. He’s either posing for the camera (lame) or about to pour wine into a third glass (not on a date).

      • Albie Quirky says:

        What do you mean? Julia is so comfortable with the many men she’s dating that dates can totally include third parties (and cans of diet Coke) because they’re dating. See that photo of her and Toilet Taryn and DeStorm YouTube.

    • BLB says:

      Where is this? Are they sitting around his kitchen table on their date? Nice papertowel holder.

    • CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

      That’s her kitchen counter. Also, isn’t that wine corked? So, he’s posing for this photo. Weird. You can’t be having a very good time, if you’re posing for photos instead of being there in the moment.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Also, I hope he got some of her green skin tags because having to pose like that is so fucking emasculating – so hopefully there was an STD in it for him.

        Also, Donkey, pro-tip, after what you have done to your face and the fact that ya know, LA has about 1 million hot, non-expired girls out there, best to dim the lights as low as you can. Hope that helps!

      • one too twee says:

        Is that wooden box for incense or did the dude actually bring a cigar to smoke in her house? Either way, P.U.

    • melting marionette says:

      photo is staged. that’s her arm.

  29. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    So I guess the “sociopath, my dear” is that British Ashton dude.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Since he allegedly says “my dear,” I’m now picturing Donkey dating Nöel Coward or an Evelyn Waugh character.

      • RollsRoyceRevenge says:

        I still vote for Shere Khan.

        Maybe she’s hoping for a fur coat out of it.

    • solidarity cat says:

      This is my deduction as well. Not that the clues were hard to follow.

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      Called it! She must be desperate; he looks like a carnival reject.

  30. Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

    Julia Allison wants her 27,000 twitter followers to know that she had a DATE! With a MAN! With a man who wears a BRACELET! And who pours WINE!

    I so wanna know how this photo got taken, who took it. Did she? Did she say, hang on, could you top me off and let me take a fauxto of your forearm?

    Who does that? WHO?

    • Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

      Referring to her “Saturday Night” Tweet and Lockerz fauxto….

      • Donksers says:

        Awww, coy Julia is back…but where’s the winky-face?

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          ope, just as sad, staying up til 5am or 6am tweeting Taryn Southern 🙁

    • Cankles says:

      Someone who is trying to prove to her haters that she has a life. See haterade cat ladies she can get a date even if it might be with someone that could kill her. Donkey you don’t date men you call sociopaths unless you are one. Um, oops?

      • Stripper Shoes at a Waspy Wake With Lilly Pulitzer and DVF says:

        She found the Times article about psychopathic children particularly compelling. Yes. It was. Remember when you were 10 and your parents grounded you and you made your own birthday party at your country club, Julia? NEVER too young.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      She is so so so sadly desperate. Also… saddest date ever.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        I’m sure there is a reason there is no pic of his face… (yikes) I mean, she posted a pic of her and Michael Acton Smith (vom) earlier that night. This guy’s covering of his male pattern baldness rivals only Donald Trumps. The desperate comb over from the back gives me the sads 🙁

        • So. Blessed. says:

          It warms my li’l basement-dwelling heart that pix of Lady Gaga’s alter-ego popped up very early in hits for Michael Acton Smith.


      • Sake Bombardier says:

        Nothing says romance like fluorescent lighting.

  31. tangentially related: I know a handful of us live in Santa Cruz. Anyone catch the lede on today’s A1 centerpiece?



  32. CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

    Happy Mother’s Day foundlings. Congratulations to us for having raised ourselves. Give yourself drinks and flowers that you didn’t turn out like our lady of perpetual childhood despite far fewer advantages.

  33. Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

    Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison
    A year ago – *exactly* – I was boarding a redeye from San Diego (& Jack) back to Chicago. Today … well, what a difference a year makes.

    I wonder how this makes your sociopath “feel”.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Good God, she is so so so pathetic. #1 It;s Mother’s day – your father has lost his mother – how about a comment about that you self-involved nit wit. How about going hope to comfort your Dad and be with your own mother?

      #2 – You only dated him for 3 weeks at most if you count the number of times you saw him. You did not trust him regularly rifling through his belongings (AFTER YOU GOT HIM DRUNK TO MAKE SURE HE WAS DEAD ASLEEP) and going through his voicemails, texts and emails – YES, A LOVE STORY FOR THE AGES!!!!!!

      #3 He has not one but TWO serious girlfriends since then and one he is supposedly proposing to – HAVE SOME DIGNITY

      There must be some reason for these tweets – she needs to pretend the relationship was more than it was so she can look like a “love expert” instead of a repeatedly dumped expert.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Also, what difference does a year make????

      #Forever Alone

      Miss Advised #ad

    • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

      For Pete’s sake, the crazy woman reposted this tweet 30 min later, slightly edited and slipped in a Mother’s Day post in between. Also, deletes the first one.


      • Albie Quirky says:

        Wait, Brian Stelter likes girls? I guess I need to get my gaydar adjusted.

        • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

          She is sucking up to him a lot, hoping he’ll write great things about her in the NYT. Stelter’s ego is so out of control that her ruse will probably work.

    • Pancakes with a side of Jelly says:

      ….and no Mothers day tweet to Momsters…. trouble in Baugher paradise?

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I have noticed that too. Very interesting. Just some roundabout Momsers posts — the photo, etc. But not a single MOMSERS IS THE BEST MOMSERS IN THE WORLD the way we usually get. Odd.

        • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

          The Grannies get a Happy Mother’s Day shout-out in an epic status update (FB is clearly the new sideways blog), but not Momsers. Curious.

          • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

            She did one yesterday and was pretty close to what you describe, Jacy.

        • JuLIAR Allison (will never the learn button) says:

          PS. She had some stunning looking ladies in her lineage … what went wrong?

          • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

            The lineage was plastic-free.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            That photo of Momsers as a very young woman in the mini was GORGEOUS. She’s still lovely, but in that photo she was movie-star beautiful.

        • CaptainGary says:

          Maybe the link to the “Is Your Child A Psychopath?” article in the Times WAS her Happy Mother’s Day tweet? A dark, self-referential, “go-back-in-time” warning Mother’s Day tweet.

          • Andy Wintour Hacks (up a hairball) says:

            On the contrary! I can’t imagine how hard it was for Julesie to read that article and resist the urge to take the psychopathic kid home…you know, like when you see a wounded baby wild animal or a sociopath and you want to take it home and nurse it back to health? But you know that instead you should take it to a shelter…to be euthanized

            She’s so compassionate! She cares! She’s just like a mom, ya’ll! A surrogate mom of a psychopath!

        • Barking Mad says:

          It looks to me like she posts the old photos of Mom and Granny and says how beautiful they were. Then some “friends” post how much she looks like them and how beautiful SHE is.

          As always, it’s really only about her.

  34. NonSobriety says:

    Why the FUCK does she have Lily in a god damn FLEECE sweater in MARINA DEL BRAY IN MAY HEAT?

    Cuntfacewhorebitch. STABBIES!

  35. Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

    Happy Mother’s Day, to all of you to whom it applies and for whatever it means. I can’t be snarky today; my day has been too sweet.


    • Albie Quirky says:

      Yay, happy Mother’s Day to you, and to all the other mothers here. Thanks for helping make more people!

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        Albie, I made my three awesome people (raised a fourth) but listen to what happened today! Two weeks ago I saw tadpoles in Little Handbag’s little swimming pool, so I left them alone, came and checked on them every day. And today I set free my first frog. I GREW A FROG! I consider this my greatest and most low maintenance accomplishment of the past year.

        I have a photo but can’t figure out how to post photos, so you’ll have to trust he was a very excellent and smart looking frog.

        • Grammarian says:

          so awesome. my parents told me that when i was on a childhood family vacation i found a frog, and named it battery. i have no idea why.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            I was calling this one Sedaris, but I worship the name Battery. You should be proud.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Maybe you had read about Galvani’s early experiments with frogs and batteries? Or it was just your usual awesomeness.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            Albie, was it Gertrude Stein who had a poodle named Basket?

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Yes yes, but the good kind of poodle (the tall kind). He came up above Alice’s waist.

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