Julia Allison Still Trying To Make DeStorm Happen

Julia Allison, who pretended to go black but still is a hack, continues to embarrass herself on Twitter to garner the attention of men who would prefer not to pay attention to her. This time she’s yoohooing the YouTube hip hop dude whose name she tried to anonymously leak to us for publicity even though we are despicable harassing shitheads who have ruined her life and have harassed her, her family, her friends, her ex-boyfriends and her employers who fired her.

Another workout done! #Summerscoming and so are the abs! Don’t hate…participate! http://instagr.am/p/KBcw2TyM8z/

@DeStorm – I just saw a giant billboard for Chippendales on the Vegas strip & thought those abs were yours. ;-) side gig? Hahaha

DeStorm, meanwhile, has at-replied just about everyone on Twitter except for, notably, our Julia Allison, because nothing makes a dude feel sexier than comparing him to some roided up cheeseball who makes a living by helping post-menopausal women overcome vaginal dryness.

Annie Lalla didn’t teach you how to flirt? Because, honey, that’s not how you do it.

Meanwhile, even random cab drivers think she looks busted.

Vegas cab driver: You look tired! Are you tired? Me: Uh … Isn’t everyone when they leave Vegas?

 

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139 Responses to Julia Allison Still Trying To Make DeStorm Happen

  1. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    She has no dignity left. NONE.

    (Me thinking this is a sign that she’s about to sink even lower.)

    • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

      After the Vegas grifter convention? After Annie Lalla? She can reach a lower bottom? Only if she starts rolling in mud with with Ellsberg. And don’t worry, she’ll alert her “hate site” first.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        The name Annie Lalla makes me feel like I just put something decaying in my mouth. It’s utterly horrifying.

        • Braycation's All I Ever Wanted says:

          I wonder if it’s pronounced ‘La La’ or if the “ll” are pronounced as a ‘y’…if the latter it sounds like liar in my head…

          • CDB says:

            This is what i think of…[img]http://i989.photobucket.com/albums/af14/maki0192/teletubbies.jpg[/img]

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Probably La-la, as I think her bio suggests she is South Asian or of South Asian heritage. I refuse to go read it again to check, as I have already taken my anti-nausea meds for the night.

  2. New Year New You says:

    Julie, when the cab driver said “You look tired”, he meant “You look busted”.

    YOU’RE WELCOME.

    • Orange Arches of Doom says:

      Cabbies in Vegas see what we see. Last time she was there one offered to drop her at the strip club staff entrance around the side of the building.

      • Donkeycam now! says:

        Yes, and there was this other time the cabbie said “the stables are in the back”.

  3. Cowboys & Brayliens says:

    I have learned that every Donkey tweet can be prefixed by “Yoo-hoo!” and ended with “Tee-hee!”. LITERALLY. Every single one.

    “Yoo-hoo! Journalism is quaking in its tattered Converse. Tee-hee!”

    • Albie Quirky says:

      “Tee-hee-haw,” in the words of some other genius catperson.

      I sometimes find myself saying it out loud to my monitor when reading a Donkey tweet.

  4. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    “…because nothing makes a dude feel sexier than comparing him to some roided up cheeseball who makes a living by helping post-menopausal women overcome vaginal dryness.”

    APPLAUSE!!!!!

  5. Albie Quirky says:

    It’s like Craymas comes every day lately. HOORAY!

  6. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    Transbraytion of all Donkey’s recent tweets at men, especially Destorm:

    YOO HOO!!! I HAVE NO SERIOUS ROMANTIC PROSPECTS WHATSOEVER!! I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANY GUYS INTERESTED IN ME AS A FUCK BUDDY, LET ALONE AS A GIRLFRIEND!!!! TEE HEE!!!

  7. Stripper Shoes of Whorian Bray says:

    Question from a Donk-padawan to the Donksaber-wielding Jedis: has she always been this transparent? Has the Cray always been on display to this extent? Or is this a new level of Donksanity?

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Ineffably put, fellow padawan. I’m not certain, but I think Donkey is gauche and transparent as ever, but she has never been quite so genuinely desperate and pathetic before, making this a new low point for Donkey’s respectability.

      • Stripper Shoes in Vegas at a LOVE Convention says:

        Why thank you, fellow padawan. I fear for the Jedis and the Empire alike when this cray hits the TeeVees. It is going to be chaos around here, and no good will come of it. Sometimes I wonder what A Donk can possibly do for an encore. Get pregnant, like Snooki? Go nuts like Sean Young? Give up and get out like Deena (?) on RHONJ?

        The Times reported this week that Pregnancy is the new way to stay relevant in these reality-tv-driven times. Look at Snooki and Tori Spelling. Could that be next on the horizon?

        Alana Joy went down this road, screaming and cussing the entire way (at least for as long as I followed the madness)…

        I pity the man…

        • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

          I think she went nuts like Sean Young quite some time ago. As in right after Lodwick dumped her. It’s been a downward spiral of insanity ever since.

          • Stripper Shoes in Vegas at a LOVE Convention says:

            Really? Been there done that with this bitch? Something new please, Julia. We are waiting with breath that is baited. Perform! Perform!!

          • CDB says:

            She did not put on a catsuit, she just tried to sue a bunch of cats

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            Oh, Bob. I’d love to buy you a drink.

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          Lolling while picturing Donkey as a comically maladroit Sith. It would explain what happened to her face: accidentally hit by a bunch of her own Sith lightning.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          just the excuse to post a picture of Professor Yoda

          [img]http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l098vtMKtq1qzclpso1_500.jpg[/img]

        • NonSobriety says:

          You’re a fucking vile idiot. Unless one actually IS Julia or Snooki, should one really imply that someone got pregnant to stay “relevant”. I’m so sure that’s what AJ did… scumbag. What a slimy brain you have.

          I pity the man…

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      If you ask me, she’s always been this transparent. Perhaps not as desperate, but always, always ridiculously transparent. Every blog post had an agenda, and now every Tweet does.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        You are so right about this. We’re accustomed to parsing longer revelations, but they haven’t changed in essence; they’re merely shorter and stupider and even less subtle.

        Subtle, LOL.

      • iblow4shoes (formerly sad lilly) says:

        It must be exausting to be her.

        • Pelterina says:

          I was actually thinking about that the other day. I can’t even imagine how exhausting it must be to wake up and try to remember which one she is today. Is she the desperate wannabe housewife with the pearls and rubber gloves, trying to get a Conservative? Is she trying to get the indie programmer? Is she pretending to be educated and aiming for a lawyer? Is she a free spirit, Burning Man loving faux hippie? And it’s all to land some wallet, a guy who may literally run away upon seeing her after breaking up. It would make me sad for her if I didn’t remember all those hideous, horrible things she’s done to other people.

          • CDB says:

            Calm down kevin, feel free to relax, It’s all performance art anyway….

          • Stripper Shoes at Annie Lalla's Wedding says:

            I think it MUST be exhausting. I would be exhausted. She SEEMS exhausted. And maybe this is narcissistic of me, but it seems like most of what she writes is FOR the haters. She is posturing for US. For her haters. Not for her fans. But to prove a point to 9,000 (or more) people who will NEVER EVER the Donkey, never ever no matter what, no matter what she says, no matter how much she crays and brays.

            We dont like bullshit, and bullshit is all she has up her sleeve. And we’re not buying it, and we KNOW it’s for us. I know it is, at least.

            It’s like a troubled 16 year old girl on facebook, except she’s a troubled 31 year old (52 year old? hard to know) on twitter, scheming and plotting and planting tweets about A to make B jealous and C want to fuck her and D want to marry her. It’s so confusing an convoluted, I’ve been quiet for a while now because I have just be LIU’ing it (Long Island Universitying, of course).

            Btw, on a topic visited yesterday, I believe the CRAY coming from Long Island is written by the Donk herself. I don’t know who sends them for her. But clearly, it is her ineffably ineffable writing style.

            If I could do an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of thing, I would not go first to erase an ex-lover. I would go first to erase my knowledge of A Donkey.

            Magic fairydust, please please, make me unknow…

  8. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    She’ll be sure to tell DeStorm they’re not really dating when she’s curled up in his naked, hairless abs, YOU SHIT HEADS!!!!!!

  9. pearipathetic donkey says:

    In the ass slapping picture and the stripper pole picture from the last picture…why is she so pink? I mean, she looks sunburned. Is she drunk–impossible, I know, because she never drinks?

    • Sweaty Juicy Couture says:

      I hate that I know this, but I’ve been watching this shit show forevah….

      From years ago on some skanky grifter 40th birthday party trip to St. Barths.
      No, not HER 40th bday—some dude. Could have been Stelios, Mr. easyJet.
      She was in-demand, people! Then she expired.

  10. Shut your lie hole, CodeName: Donkey!

    CodeName: Donkey! is just trying to piss off the woman waking Destorm up & videotaping him as he goes to take a shower, get dressed, etc.

    Cunty McThundercunt is cunty.

  11. TJ KELLEIGH'S FISTED ASSHOLE says:

    OT: Who wore the condom dress best: Julie Albertsons or Raja?

    [img]http://blog.juliaallison.com/Images/Julia%20Allison%20Condom%20Fairy%20Halloween%202006.jpg[/img][img]http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp6kiyc01O1qh14t2o1_500.jpg[/img]

    • darling dearest says:

      do you think julia keeps wearing tutus because she was wearing one when gawker “discovered” her and shot her to microfame?

      • RRR&Brayella=Besties says:

        To be a bit of a fashion nazi, she is not wearing a tutu in the condom fairy picture. She is wearing a tulle skirt.

        There are many variations of the tutu at varying lengths, but her outfit is not one of the recognized styles.

        Okay–maybe I’m a ballet nazi.

        Who knows.

      • RRR&Brayella=Besties says:

        There is a variation called the “panckae tutu.”

        For what that’s worth.

      • RRR&Brayella=Besties says:

        “PANCAKE.”

        Also? FUCK.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Is that Julia in both pictures?

      Old Julia. Future Julia.

      Oh, honey.

    • Can-Swiss says:

      She should have stopped at that nose.

      • AFGHANI says:

        This. I’ve been saying this for a long time. She actually looked very good after her 1st or 2nd surgery (1st nose job and 1st chin job)

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      That drag queen does indeed look better than Julia.

    • RRR&Brayella=Besties says:

      Without judging either of them, may I say that the fact that the sign behind the 2nd picture appears to read “finger zone” has given me the lulzies.

    • RRR&Brayella=Besties says:

      I just realized who the second pic was of.

      I think it would be okay if the whole “less feminine than a drag queen” trope was retired. Valerie Solanas was less “feminine” than Candy Darling. I don’t see what that proves in the long run.

      Drag “femininity” is not a literal transposition of female “femininity” nor is it intended as such.

      In other news Tucker Max cute lisp save Lil(l)y toilet Julia blueprint cleanse broccoli fart

      • Orwell-Style CyberPolice Force says:

        Umm, yeah… exactly. And that’s why it’s always hilarious when a drag queen who takes femininity to the border of parody still manages to pull it all off with more elan than an actual female. Raja > Julia.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      Raja > everyone

      • Albie Quirky says:

        I am now totally in love with Latrice Royale.

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          I haven’t watched the season that just ended but my all time favorite is Pandora. My 3 year old can sing along to the theme song and I pat myself on the back for Stellar Momness when he does.

        • Meg says:

          Large and in charge, chunky yet funky. Did you watch the reunion last night? When she read that fan letter about the little girl who gets bullied but is gaining confidence because of Latrice? I lost it.

  12. Can-Swiss says:

    “Julia Allison, who pretended to go black but still is a hack” Love it!

  13. mimi says:

    So last week I ran into Meghan Asha on 5th Ave (looks like she was on her way to Bergdorf’s) and then today I ran into Georgina walking in K-town. No I did not say anything to either but it’s just kinda weird to see these people IRL. I ran into Mary Rambin a few years back at a bar, and I don’t know why, but I’m really curious to see Julia Allison in person one day! I am pretty sure I saw Jordan a few months ago too. So really, JA is the only one I haven’t seen yet! Okay sorry there is no point to my post but none of my friends know about these folks so felt the need to share here. Carry on.

    • I have grown SO much! says:

      gotta catch em all!

    • Albie Quirky says:

      You’ll hear her before you see her. That bray carries.

      Heck, you’ll probably smell her before you see her. Unwashed hair, tons of makeup, a vague hint of pee, and some horrible sickly-sweet perfume (Flowerbomb, maybe?)

      • LetItExplode says:

        That’s how it happened with me. She was walking down 2nd Avenue in that magenta velour track suit and those fucking moon boots and my dog heard her yelling into her phone and jumped. I turned around to see what was the matter and I was face to face with a Donkey, spackled stage make-up at 11 am, dropping the f-bomb with every other word about one of her “sisters” later revealed to be Mary after she flounced from nonsociety a week later.

        So very classy.

      • Peltergeist says:

        The first time I saw her outdoors I didn’t hear her (because she wasn’t talking) as much as see her — piles and piles of makeup. I barely notice these things, but she just looked SO out of place with all of that on in NYC in the middle of the day. I’m pretty sure it was actually that old-fashioned pancake makeup, because I’ve seen a lot of teenage girls OD on foundation and tanner and this was way worse.

  14. diluted brain says:

    I don’t get why she thinks she is so cute and funny. She’s more sad and pathetic. Can’t be Peter Pan forever, honey – you have to grow up sometime.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Why DOES she think she’s funny? Those lame-ass exchanges she Tweets that are just normal conversations among boring people. Why does she think they’re funny? So weird, this chick.

  15. Cut. Don't use that. says:

    OT but did you all see Rachel Sklar’s twatter barf and photos from the White House Correspondent’s Dinner? She honestly made Donkey look classy and restrained by comparison. After Donkey, that horse-mouthed Canadian famewhore is one of the most annoying things on the Internet.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Did she throw gang signs?

      Anyway, she probably had a ticket to the WHCD, unlike Julia in 2007:

      http://voices.washingtonpost.com/reliable-source/2010/04/julia_allison_explains_how_to.html

    • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

      Rachel Sklar is annoying year-round, but it’s at WHCD that she truly gets intolerable, what with her constant name-dropping. I’m sure she had a ticket, but I’m sure she begged for it. She is shameless.

      I know some women who travel peripherally in her tech-feminist circles, and they’re starting to get irritated with how much she’s starting to make her whole women-in-tech crusade all about herself, which frankly I think these women should have realized from day one, but that’s a different story.

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Have these people who call that event “nerd prom” ever actually met a nerd before? It’s populated by politicians (people whose job it is to be popular, which is as far from nerdery as you can get), the press release-parroting lowest rung of political reporters, and now celebrities. The only good thing that ever happened at that event was Colbert’s speech slamming Bush. /rant

    • NonSobriety says:

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Sklar is a smile to your face and scam behind your back type of person. There’s always an agenda with her. Always.

  16. Stripper Shoes in Vegas at a LOVE Convention says:

    Does she really expect us to believe she would date a black man? A hip-hop performer? Or any combination thereof?

    Seriously?

      • Stripper Shoes in Vegas at a LOVE Convention says:

        I won’t believe it til I see a fauxto of them together. Make it happen, Andy Cohen. THEN I will believe.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      DeStorm has bigger boobs than a Donkey. It’s worrisome.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      She dated Congressman Harold Ford Jr while at Georgetown, and like a true fame-whore couldn’t shut up about it when he ran for Senate three or four years later.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Didn’t they go on only a couple of dates?

        • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

          During his Senate campaign, she posted a bunch of pictures of a ski trip with him and managed to get the relationship–whatever it really was–mentioned in the press (ultimately leading to the infamous “call me Harold” attack ad). I seem to recall her saying at one point that they didn’t have sex, but I may be wrong about that detail.

        • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

          More than a couple, or at least that’s how it seemed when I first saw Julia Baugher, doing drama in front of Healy Hall, running towards a Mare Mare manque and screaming at the top of her lungs, “Who cares if I’m dating a congressman?!” Again, you’ll always hear or smell her before you see her.

  17. Stripper Shoes Speeding Down the Highway says:

    She wonders why she gets speeding tickets? Riding 80 mph down PCH while texting is one pretty good clue to why this might happen.

    And why she gets parking tickets? Try parking legally, you dumb fuck.

    The canklehausens is raging raging raging from her driving/tickets tweets. RAGING. Anyone have any ointment?

  18. AFGHANI says:

    Julia just retweeted a FAKE jeff jarvis comment that was mocking her.

    Such a social media maven!

    How embarassing.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      I miss when AK-Kitty came through these parts…

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        i know, i know, i’m usually on top of ALL THE COMMENTS, but this is one time i actually appreciate the redundancy; having not trolled back through the comments i missed, i’m glad afghani pointed out that this was a FAKE jeff jarvis (for the tards like me who didn’t get it on their own), because (obviously) BRAYGE at a donkey thinking she is the future of anything, or anyone thinking she is the future of anything.

        on another note, in the space of 9 minutes, she re-worded and re-tweeted the same tweet four times:

        “I am a woman who has lived. I have PLENTY to hide.” – Elizabeth Hurley on Gossip Girl
        15 minutes ago from Twitter

        “I am a woman who has lived. Of course I have PLENTY to hide.” – Gossip Girl
        15 minutes ago from Twitter

        “I am a woman who has lived. Of course I have PLENTY to hide.” – Gossip Girl
        16 minutes ago from Twitter

        “I am a woman who has lived. I have PLENTY to hide.” – Gossip Girl
        24 minutes ago from Twitter

        • Scooby Don't says:

          When you’re quoting such a cornerstone of Western civilization as Gossip Girl, of course it’s important to get the quote right.
          Oh the banality of Donkey.

          • Stinky Velour Couture says:

            wait, wut? Julie doesn’t watch TeeVee!!??!
            she’s smart! and likes Maps!

        • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

          I didn’t get that it was a Jeff Jarvis parody, either.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          LORD, she is mental.

      • Donkey of Perdition says:

        [img]http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/zz.gif[/img]

    • anon says:

      She already deleted it. What did it say?

  19. Emma Bourricot says:

    Good morning, Julia! Final two days of filming before it’s all over!

    Then what? What are you going to do? Are you on summer vacation like all the college students finishing finals? Are you going away to camp this summer? Are you going to visit your grandma? (It really pisses me off that she has neither visited nor mentioned her grandmother in a month.) Are your parents making you get a job? Or are they going to watch in silence as you piss your summer away hanging out at the beach and flying around the country to crash parties in the city?

    It’s okay when you’re 19, Donk. But you have a precious few weeks between now and the Bravo premiere. You’ve ashamed your parents (you know it, we know it) and your former professors and anyone that took the time to mentor you in your 20s. Cut it out now and get a job. A real one.

    I know guys, this will fall on deaf ears, not least because Julia never reads here (!) but because she won’t be motivated to do anything this summer but brag about her reality show to try to score dates.

    A boyfriend is not what you need now, and Julia, you are an adult. Get a job. We all know you won’t, but wouldn’t you love to prove us wrong?

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      FREE LILLY!

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      Haven’t you heard? Donkey already works 70-80 hours per week!

      Of all the bullshit Julia says, her claims that she’s SO NICE! and SO BUSY! are among the funniest.

      • MY Beach Home says:

        Is she failing at the 4 hour week again?

      • Subsidized Donk Den says:

        I will never understand how exactly she can afford to do this (i.e., nothing). Her parents don’t seem so irresponsible with money that they’d just keep writing her checks and she wouldn’t be doing those pathetic cheesy skillet #ads (or Miss Advised on BRAVO) if she had some kind of bottomless trust fund.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          Has she rented her SUPER DELUX condo for $400 a night?

          I can’t be bothered to check.

          Miss Advised #ad

    • Stinky Velour Couture says:

      are you new here?

      Nice thoughts, but it’s not going to happen. There is something worrisome, and OFF about JA. Literally.

      Hope that helps, bunnie! Have a great day!

      • Emma Bourricot says:

        I’ve been following Julia for half a decade, for what it’s worth, Stinky.

  20. bitchface says:

    tsk tsk Julia Allison still has not wished Facebook’s sister’s baby Happy Birthday yet! (granted it is 11:27 PST; she may not be awake yet)

    • NonSobriety says:

      SHE NEVER READS HERE:

      Happy Birffffday to @RandiZuckerberg’s little boy, Asher Tworetzky, who turns one today!!

      • NonSobriety says:

        “Birffffday”?

        She’s a journalist. I am an obese type A hater who is jealous of her “life”.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Let’s see if her sister Randi thanks her as she has thanked everyone else who wished her son a happy b-day. Or perhaps like DeStorm, Randi will ignore a Donkey…

  21. Donksers says:

    In the picture above of Donkey and thong-guy, she looks incredibly homely. That’s how she looks in all of her pictures from that era. I think “homely” is her natural state, and her excessive spackling is an over-reaction to that.

    • How Brayella Got Her Hoove Back says:

      That picture in particular sure lends to the chin-implant theory …
      [img]http://i50.tinypic.com/xo1dom.jpg[/img]

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