Donkey Thinks She Can Charge $400 A Day To Rent Out Part of Her Condo — While She’s In It

What the fucking fuck?

Here’s the pitch:

Spend your summer holiday (or work trip to LA!) A HALF BLOCK AWAY FROM THE BEACH (!!) in Marina Del Rey…a quiet, safe neighborhood full of families and charm. Ride your bike (we have bikes you can borrow!) down the boardwalk into Venice (exactly four minutes away) and up on the bike path to Santa Monica (we do this ride nearly every day!) A yoga studio is just down the block, along with some of the best bars & restaurants Venice has to offer.

There are two of us living here, and you can either rent the whole place out, or simply one of the rooms (different pricing applies – one room has a king sized bed and the other a queen sized bed. Both are lovely!). Ask us what’s available!! We’re really nice. :-)

Two Bedroom, Two Bathroom condo – over 1,800 f2! A gorgeous, light filled, super luxury condo, steps from the sand on the Marina Peninsula. It has state-of-the-art appliances, a working gas fireplace, huge floor-to-ceiling windows that not only fill the place with natural sunlight, but open up to an ocean view. 20-25 minutes from West Hollywood, 10-15 minutes to LAX.

The unit is on the 2nd floor in a 4-year old building is set up for HDTV’s with Surround Sound, Whole House Audio, Security System with multi cameras, Hi Speed WiFi., Central Vacuum, Dishwasher, Dryer, Freezer, Hardwood floors, Marble slab kitchen & bathrooms with GIANT multi-jet spa tubs. Easy parking on the street!

If you’re really nice we’ll make you breakfast, although that pretty much means … eggs. hahaha

BRING YOUR BIKINI (or your wetsuit and surfboard!) You’ll need it for the beach.


julia and julia

 

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398 Responses to Donkey Thinks She Can Charge $400 A Day To Rent Out Part of Her Condo — While She’s In It

  1. Shamoolia says:

    Ashton, is there a hot tub?

  2. Shamoolia says:

    20-25 minutes from West Hollywood ….. at 3 a.m. with zero other cars on the street.

    • YES!

      I used to live ON Santa Monica Blvd. in Beverly Hills, 4 miles from WeHo and at certain hours it would take 30 minutes! She is CRAY. She’s either never been to WeHo at a normal hour, or she KNOWS she’s lying. What an idiot!

      • PSH I don’t think you were riding a pink bike, now were you? Therefore your argument is irrelevant!

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Yeah, there’s always ample parking RIGHT BY THE BEACH!!!! It’s not like your not fighting the influx of people who come to PARK to visit THE BEACH and all the restaurants and frock shoppes close by.

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      No kidding! I feel bad for how misleading this ad is. Imagine if you had an out-of-town work commitment or something and took Julia up on this offer… only to find out it takes you like 2 hours to make it to West Hollywood.

      • SFish says:

        Um thanks for all these awesome educated comments! I was totally reading this thinking “Wow, that sounds like a sweet location, I wonder how JA found that place when she always lived in totally generic, middle-of-nothing parts of NYC?” because I haven’t been to Los Angeles in about 10 years. But this makes a LOT more sense.

  3. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    How is this not a joke? Its a joke right? They are joking?

    Seriously, I am so confused by this. So you rent the place out but they stay there? Are they the “inkeepers” of sorts?

    And this is allowed under the terms of their lease?

    This is part of the show, right? This is Bravo desperately trying to find a way to inject some interesting story lines into the Julia character?

    What the fuckety fuck?

    • I know, right? BRAVO! is going to pay some actor-ish dude to come in acting the rich jet-setter & then they get to tape Donkey in heat? So Dad$er best swing through town w/ some more VS bags, yes?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      So you rent the place out but they stay there? Are they the “inkeepers” of sorts?

      Yes, that’s the “bnb” part of Airbnb.com (bed and breakfast). It’s like couchsurfing with desperate strangers! Only more expensive than a hotel!

      • There’s a variety of ways to rent on the site — you can rent the entire space, a private room, or couch space. I’ve subletted entire apartments for a month via the site, and my dad uses it for his vacation property rentals.

        In her listing she says the price is different for one of the rooms when they’d still be there (vs the entire place, in which case they’d be gone). I like to snark as much as the next cat lady, but I cringe when people get stuff like this wrong because it only adds fuel to Julia’s “they lie about me” fire.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      I’m pretty sure it’s like when the former Julia in My Life tried to tell me I should pay $500 a month plus utilities to sleep on her couch two nights a week, except the real Julia has an actual bed for her victims, I mean, guests.

      • ¿Qué? says:

        Oh god I had a friend who did that; tried to subsidize her out-of-the-way fibro shack by asking all her friends to make a monthly payment under the pretext that we could all have it as a weekender. Given that with her plan all our payments meant she lived there full time rent free it kind of killed the friendship.

    • CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

      There’s also $100 cleaning fee, plus $500 security deposit. So, a two nights’ stay will cost you $1400. No joke. There are high priced call girls who charge less.

      • Random Snowflake says:

        Julia really reeeaaally does not want to pay rent at all. She will do anything to avoid paying rent.

  4. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    And just to tie this back to what a lying, disingenuous, vile piece of human turd she is, NO ONE who was date raped (like she says she was), stalked (like she claims) or “inside” while a close family member was raped (as the whole world knows) would open their home up to strangers while continuing to live there.

    Fucking lying sack of crap.

    • Marcy says:

      A close family member was raped? what?

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        That’s not important. What’s important is that Julia WAS INSIDE while it was happening.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      And claims to have been date-raped herself. Meantime, you click the tabs on that site and you pretty much know exactly where she lives.

      • Shamoolia says:

        No shit. She put up a picture of the FRONT of her building so you can see exactly what building she lives in if you look at the map on her listing. BUT SHE’S SO AFRAID OF STALKERS that she put up an ad about how two SUPER FRIENDLY AND NICE GIRLS want you to come stay with them. Fucking idiot.

      • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

        It doesn’t take a genius to look on Google maps, zoom in on Quarterdeck in the Marina, and find the building that looks out over that gray building in the backdrop of the photo.

        Pull the listing, Donk. There are places right nearby that go for almost half of what you’re charging, and they’re closer to Washington.

        • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

          I’m sorry, but no one is ever going to do the donk. Your fears for her safety are disproportionately , ineffably, calm down Kevinly out of punch you in the face.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        excuse me, she had a STALKER!! She’s just trying to be safe!

  5. "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

    She must really, REALLY owe a lot to the IRS.

    I have to admit, if she had added a note about the “luxury caulking,” I might have considered forgiving her for being a massive thundercunt. (On second thought…nah.)

    • Shamoolia says:

      She doesn’t just live in a luxury condo, but – in her words – a “super luxury condo” – so you know the caulk is luxury all the way, with a shabby chic finish, so please don’t mess it up and treat it as your own, OK?

      • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

        The tacky white, white, white and more white interiors–must be loads of fun for abused interns to clean–look so much like my grandparents’ Florida retirement condo, it’s almost uncanny. And we’re talking 1990s luxury 55+ condo. Come to Marina del Bray and live in our hipster digs!

      • JFA says:

        SUPER LUXURY LOL! WTF does that even MEAN???

        • One Fat Melman says:

          Super luxury, and yet lacking an elevator…

          • CurlingIronsAtDawn says:

            Or a pool it seems, or a gym, or a jacuzzi, or a doorman, or direct mail service delivery. That word you’re using Donk, I don’t think it means what you think it means.

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      North facing windows

  6. Kate Middlebrow says:

    How can this be real? It is….so freaking unsafe! Who would let just anyone into their home?

  7. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    Wow. Where to begin? I think “We’re really nice. :-)” and the sad desperation of this whole thing are suitable places.

    Julia Allison is really nice. Never forget.

  8. Janine says:

    Maybe she shouldn’t be leasing a MERCEDES if money is so desperate…?!

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      No shit. I am not a car person, but is there something wrong with a more affordable car? Why not buy a used car? Is that not allowed in L.A.?

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Cars are huge status symbols for just about everyone in Southern California. Some people really will judge you for having a cheap and/or old car.

        That said, Julia probably wants a Mercedes because she thinks she deserves it and is entitled to it as much as she wants it to seem successful in SoCal.

        • Shamoolia says:

          But she can get a status-y and cute Mini, Fiat or Prius for a lot cheaper, and look a lot cooler driving those than the desperado entry level Mercedes.

          • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

            A Mini, Fiat or Prius would be so much more acceptable in Southern California than the C-class Mercedes she’s getting.

          • Mini Driver says:

            You rang? (I have never been able to say that before. I’m so excited I don’t even care that I’m two days behind the curve.)

        • Dr. Gary says:

          So true.

          My daily driver is a Mini Cooper. It’s a great car, runs wells, great gas mileage, fun to drive (even though it’s a stick, which driving in LA traffic sometimes not so much).

          But my other car is a 1970s American classic muscle car. No joke, whenever I take her out on the road people ask to take photos, have questions about her (she’s kind of rare). I love that car more than life itself. Everyone who knows me knows how much I love this car. It will never be sold and is even in my will.

          I love her just because. Not for status or the attention she gets. Just makes me happy to drive her. But you always know you’re in LA when a car like mine gets more attention than any of the other high-end status cars you see all over town.

          • Princess WideStance says:

            Um, that’s awesome. What make and model is she? Do tell! I always knew I liked you. You and your muscle car and your pills and your sandwiches and your VHS Star Wars and your mom’s basement.

          • and your REO Speedwagon tapes.

          • mcakez says:

            Dr. Gary – is you me? In addition to the aforementioned Honda, I have a ‘weekend’ classic that I bought with my own money when I was 20. I fixed her up and when I take her out people are always offering to buy her from me, and I’ve even been pulled over by cops who just wanted to grill me about the engine and take a good long look at her. I’ve spent a bit on fixing her up, but nowhere *near* the price of some super schmancy luxury car.

            I think being a girl is a big part of that, of course. People don’t expect to see some girl behind the wheel of this monstrous big blue beast. Guys want to see if I even know anything about it/cars (I do, though I am no expert) and just admire it, and girls tell me they wish they could “pull it off” (I see no idea why they can’t, but it is the weird sexism of owning a classic.) It is actually a little awkward for me because as much as I love driving her, I’m kind of awkward with strangers, so the added attention is weird.

            I seriously think we are like sisters from another mister, holding down our ends of the state. If we ever met, the world might combust.

            (For those keeping track at home, this car is named Bertha.)

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            Oh I too have a love of vintage cars! My father used to salvage them (Sanford and Sons) and take them to old car shows. The American Heritage Museum on the Cape is sublime.

          • Dr. Gary says:

            @Princess WideStance

            1974 AMC Javelin.

            @stalker is the new fat

            LOL!

            @mcakez

            Fuck Yeah! for girls who love classic cars. I’ve always loved old cars. Don’t know where I get it from. My dad was into motorcycles. Just born with it I guess? My first car was a 1967 Mustang. Second was a mint green 1963 AMC Rambler. She was beautiful. Btw, I just saw one that looked exactly like mine in the new season of Mad Men. I think it was the 2nd episode? When Layne finds that wallet in the back seat of the cab, you can see one parked just next to them.

            But the Javelin is my greatest love of all.

            Here’s to chicks driving muscle cars!

          • Dr. Gary says:

            @Ass Baughers Syndrome

            That is awesome. Did you go with your dad on the weekends to pick-a-part places? I used to do that with an old boyfriend. So much fun.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        A used car is for someone who has a sense of self and not giving a fuck. I have a used car and I make good money – but I chose not to drive my money around – while tossing my money out the window.

        Especially the way people ding your car and take off at every friggin’ Trader Joe’s in town.

        • Pancakes with a side of Pancakes with a side of Heaven and Hell Souffle says:

          I have a used, lime green, c-class mercedes. I have no idea what this says about me. Most likely, I just don’t give a fuck. My car gets me from point A to point B and I got it from my parents.

    • fig says:

      I assume this is how she plans to pay for that car.

  9. Beauchamp says:

    Julia,

    Please let me know when you get around to renting out your twat for $400 a night. I’d like to put my fist in there, right after I “punch you in the face”

    Fucking dunce.

  10. Shamoolia says:

    So basically: hey stranger, come pay $400 a night to stay in a creepy all-white condo in the very very outskirts of LA, while I sleep on one of my 367 ugly sectionals crammed into my too small living room but don’t make any noise coming or going because I sleep until noon every day and oh yeah, can you take my dog for a walk on your way out? We might make you eggs!

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      You have me convinced! I was going to book a hotel for a similar price point and spend my trip to LA in a luxurious, private room with access to room service from real chefs if I got hungry. Why pay $400 a night for that when I can have Julia Allison wandering into my room at 2AM to chat?

      • virgil reid says:

        “Why pay $400 a night for that when I can have Julia Allison wandering into my room at 2AM to chat?”

        this killed me.

  11. Donksers says:

    Julia LazyAss Allison has no shame and will do anything, no matter how desperate or demeaning, to make money. She does, however, draw the line at getting a job.

    • Dr. Gary says:

      I don’t understand why she’s not a hooker. But I guess for all we know, she already is. Although, considering all the quality hooker tail already out there, I don’t see ANYONE paying for HER. So, yeah. No.

      • sausage curls/fingers says:

        Seriously, people might actually be interested in her blog if it was a lifecast of being an escort

    • CaptainGary says:

      Yeah, she’ll do anything to make money – except, you know, work.

  12. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    So about the logistics of this: if someone rents one of the rooms, where does the Julia currently occupying it go? If someone rents the whole place, where do both Julias go? Does this mean Little Julia is leaving?

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I honestly believe if someone is interested and wants one of the bedrooms, one of these idiots will either sleep on the couch or they’ll pair up in the other one’s bedroom. Pathetic. Get a job you stupid tool.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      The only people this would appeal to – is a giant family. The way Gilt and Groupon and Living Social are offering deals – you can be by the beach, great view with a pool and a hot tub and someone to run around and get your drinks for $250 a night.

      I did the Loew’s Santa Monica for $240 on a holiday weekend thank you very much.

      I can’t wait for some kids with their peanut butter and jelly smeared hands to be all up in those Shabby Chic couches.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Oh and my price at Loew’s was with no Groupon or deal of any sort.

        This says Toilet Julia is out in May and Julia is trying to come up with a scam. TJ is posing for the pic out of guilt and trying to help Frumpy Julia stay in that place by herself.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        LOL. I basically just said the same thing below. Janx!

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Maybe Donkey’s evolutionary business model is that she’ll make money by staying at the Loews if she rents out her whole place.

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      I bet she will stay with a friend/bf. She probably sees this as an opportunity to be paid to get away from Donkey.

    • Bobby P. Mullet says:

      Seriously! What is the deal? So, they’re looking to rent it out weekly or monthly, either the whole thing or just a room (Or whatever! They’re really nice!)?

      I think that they are both planning to be out of town at various times during the next couple of months (make believe itinerary in 3, 2, 1…) and want to turn a profit. They probably figure if someone rents it while they are there, they will just figure it out when the time comes. God, could you imagine if you rented the entire place thinking it would be your private “home”, then some loud ass donkey comes clomping in announced? Braying about how she has to grab something real quick, needs to use wi-fi, has a couple of hours to kill between “meetings”. AH! The hell.

      Little Julia is probably purposely trying to spend AS MUCH time away from that apartment as possible. Someone mentioned a couple of threads ago that it is probably turning into that moment you realize you hate your crazy roommate and try to spend as much time away form home as possible. I agree.

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      I’m dealing with a similar issue on my street right now. Crackhead family, crazy ass loud, drug maneuvering , dog and child beating on the stoop, and disputuve situation on section 8 (gov/taxpayer money) on a ” historic” block at the center of baltiore’s cultural district. Momma works for Ousing Authority, son is city cop who lives there. Julia is working a racket just like them. No difference.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        UGH. Don’t even get me started on Section 8. Buying a house that is ‘ghetto adjacent’ and paying a FUCK LOAD in property taxes makes you much less sympathetic to welfare, food stamps, section 8, etc.

        Everyone on our block owns their homes. Except for the house across the street. The owner tried to sell it and then the economy collapsed. He decided to rent it as Section 8 to this horrible gang banger family: 13th Street gang boyfriend, mom + 4 boys.

        We’ve had to call the police, child protective services, animal welfare, etc more times than I can count on just this one family.

        The stupid boyfriend and one of his ‘associates’ were arrested in an ATF raid at the house about 2 years ago. But we were stuck with the mom and kids.

        I found out that it’s a violation of Section 8 to commit a crime or conduct illegal activity at the property. So I made an anonymous tip to Section 8 fraud and got the ball rolling to get them out.

        I called Section 8 fraud to check the status recently and found out they had everything in order to ‘terminate’ them from the program. Of course, like all things ‘government’, this will take forever. I was told not to get my hopes up, because the mom gets a hearing where they make the final determination. If they take pity on her, “poor single mom with four young boys and nowhere to go”, she might get to stay. Even though we suspect she continued to run the boyfriend’s drug dealing business after he went to jail.

        Just love going to work every day, working my ass off, knowing my taxes pay for her to sit on her fat ass and collect checks. Or walk to the liquor store and buy booze. Or watch her 4 brats destroy the neighbor’s property, bang their skateboards + bikes into our cars. Or listen to her scream ‘FUCK’ at the kids all day and night. Or watch their 3 VERY LARGE dogs escape, ONCE AGAIN, from their back yard to run around and terrorize the neighborhood.

        /end rant

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Yikes! tl;dr

          sorry, fat.

        • virgil reid says:

          i thought i had it rough living next to cock fighting roosters that were set loose. damn.

        • Dr. Gary says:

          Also, it’s ’18th Street’ gang, not ’13th Street’. Hard to type when you have rage shooting out of your fingertips.

        • Joardache & the Pelts says:

          I call the cops almost daily – takes photos and videos. It doesn’t help that a cop actually lives in the house. The thing is my street isn’t even ghetto adjacent (there are projects neearby) – these are great places that are highly sought after. The crack head family is just living it up and making us all miserable.

  13. donkolnikov says:

    I thought the whole point of Airbnb was that it was cheaper than a hotel. Paying 400 bucks to stay with them, and you don’t even get the place to yourself? And you might get a couch if both of them are there? It isn’t rent a friend, why does she talk about herself/her roommate so much in the ad? The whole point is that YOU LEAVE. YOU ARE GONE. AND THEN PEOPLE STAY THERE. WITHOUT YOU. AT ALL.

    • bitfchface says:

      again – no, it’s not. The point of Airbnb was for couch surfing. As in crash on the couch (for very cheap) while the owners are there too sleeping in the presumed bedroom.

      However, most of their inventory appears in reality to be peoples’ second/vacation homes so owners being one would be the norm, but airbnb is totally pitching itself as the ironic hipster crash on another cool bro stranger’s couch thing.

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        Not quite. I’ve met the founders through work and while they certainly started as an ironic couch-crashing thing, they are all about eating into the hotel and sublet markets now.

        • Yep, I know the founders via my dad (who was one of the original people posting properties on the site), and while there are some couch-surfing opportunities, most of them are private rooms in a home, vacation properties/second homes, or the equivalent of what NYers do when they go out of town on holiday (short sublets).

          I’m also still disturbed that ppl didn’t read the listing and are assuming they’ll be there — the $400 a night is for the place to themselves (violating that by being there anyhow will get you yanked from the site and you don’t get paid). She’s says there are different rates for just a room. I’m not trying to be a JA apologist, just noting that it’s uncomfortable to see snarking that plays into her “haters lie about me!” thing.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        As Sad Rat says, they’re really going after the traditional bed and breakfast and sublet market. Some of the bed and breakfast owners’ associations are flipping out, because a) business is dropping, and b) people who have had bad experiences with Airbnb don’t want to use bed and breakfast places again.

      • Emotional Hooker says:

        I recently moved to a new city (that’s more expensive than LA) and for the first month, used Airbnb to rent out a private bedroom in an apartment. I stayed with two guys who lived there and just had an extra room. The room was big, had a king-sized bed and a couch and plenty of storage. It was $60 per night.

        She’s an idiot if she thinks anyone will pay $400 for this place.

      • bitchface says:

        yes, really, I have met them too (and their competitors) and as I said they market themselves as couch crashers but have realized their market is in vacation homes etc.

        not sure why either of you are arguing with me as I stated the same thing you’re saying:

        “most of their inventory appears in reality to be peoples’ second/vacation homes so owners being one would be the norm”
        *one=gone

        They’re still presenting themselves as the hipster – look at their language compared to AOV, Homeaway etc. I know some of their funders and that’s how they market a lot of their stuff still to differentiate themselves.

        • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

          Yeah, I agree bitchface – they’re trying to draw a much younger audience than HomeAway, which has a vibe that seems to skew more affluent and family-centric.

          They have moved more upmarket from “couch-crashing hipster” language IMHO though. More like pitching themselves as for the aspirational global-nomad types that Julia claims to want to be (and which in my opinion don’t really exist).

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Ah, I think I was just reading past “presenting themselves” and thinking about all the “OMG THE SKY IS FALLING” panic from the people who have been owning traditional bed and breakfast places for years.

          So sorry, so fat.

  14. Shamoolia says:

    WHY is there so much ugly upholstered seating crammed into that condo? I count a sectional, a couch, an upholstered oversized ottoman, two arm chairs, another ottoman, four upholstered dining chairs and three bar stools. You can’t even fit that many people in there. What the hell?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      For their glamorous parties with their cool friends, silly!

    • Joardache & the Pelts says:

      It’s prob not technically upholstered – bleached linen likely – and a frebie/bravo barter from the sad dated shabby chic LA showroom. MIT was whired out on Craigslist.

    • JFA says:

      The best part is…guaranteed they never even sit in that living room. OR have people over. Except you know, when they are ALWAYS COOKING WHICH THEY ALWAYS DO SERIOUSLY.

  15. Dr. Gary says:

    This is fake, right? For the show? Why in the world would someone pay $400 a night to stay at some MDR condo WITH the girls who live there??? I just checked and you can get a room at the Loew’s in Santa Monica for $369 a night. That’s a full service hotel ON THE BEACH. IN SANTA MONICA.

    The only way I could see paying $400 a night for their place is if the Julias WEREN’T there. But still. Even then, I could only see maybe a family wanting to rent it because access to a full kitchen, etc. But kids + all white Shabby Chic furniture + beach = major LULZ.

    As Rachel says to Don in Mad Men Season 1, when he begs her to run away with him: ‘you haven’t thought this through.’

  16. For serious??? says:

    The lies! Has anyone read about the two of them??

    Met skiing in Tahoe and moved out to MdR from Manhattan together? Riiiiight.

    Seriously, why don’t her freind’s and family call her out on this shit?

    It is to laugh. And, vom.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Why even lie about those things? Oh right Botoxed Julia is a sociopath.

      Toilet Julia – unless this is your escape plan – you get what you deserve going along with schemes like this.

      • CaptainGary says:

        See, this is how you KNOW she’s a pathological liar/grifter/sociopath – she lies even when she doesn’t need to or it really makes no difference. Like someone would be totally on the hook to rent the place until they read that Big and Little Julias DIDN’T both move to MDR from Manhattan at the same time?

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      Because she thinks the lie is cute and whimsical. She is probably thinking she will rent the place to some hot rich guy who will fall in love with her, marry her, then move her to a McMansion.

      • The Purloined Tiara says:

        I hope he brings his bikini!

        • bitfchface says:

          [img]http://www.celeblite.com/_pics/John_Mayer_wore_a_tankini_for_fans_on_the_Mayercraft_Feb_2008/John_Mayer_wore_a_tankini_for_fans_on_the_Mayercraft_Feb_20082.jpg[/img]

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      The year in the OMG downtown Chicago condo OMG is the new year at Indiana U. It’s like it never happened.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Does this mean that Julia’s in her 20s again?

      • JFA says:

        It’s amazing. She just completely scrubbed it. What a fucking asshole. “We met in Tahoe! Moved together from Manhattan! does this make me sound sophisticated???? Okay well how about if I lived in a downtown Chicago condo? Then go with that instead!”

  17. JuliaCleaver says:

    maybe she wants out the Bravo contract early?

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      This is such a last resort type of thing to do. This says she was really counting on Granny’s money is she passed away (stay well Granny, we’re rooting for you) and now she is fucked.

      Her parent’s must have cut her off in some way.

      I don’t get that she wants the status of driving an OMGMercedes while some hobo who might rob them or wreck/steal their stuff is crashed out on their couch.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        It is to laugh that as Granny was apparently on her deathbed, Donk was tweeting for advice on how to become an angel investor.

        A month later?

        Granny lives and dumbass is trying to rent out her apartment for spending money.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Go Granny! I never thought I would be cheering on a racist, sexist old lady so whole-heartedly.

        • Dancing With Myself says:

          God, I can’t believe you guys were right about the Angel Investing tweets. She really was waiting for the death of a loved one for payola. Wow. Maybe it’s because I adore my family, but I cannot imagine spending that money before I have it. Or even after :(

          • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

            I waited six years to touch my inheritance. It wasn’t that I wasn’t broke, either; four of those years were college, which I put myself through. I just wasn’t ready to have anything to do with it. So yeah, I feel you on this sentiment. Hard to imagine planning what to do with the $ beforehand given what other baggage comes with it.

          • bile & scheme-juices & hissing man-hungry weasels says:

            So much this. My closest friend lost her father suddenly while he was overseas and had to deal with the most hellacious things during his cremation and flight back to the states. He left her a sizable sum of money and she hasn’t touched it. She still has an ipod he gave her shortly before his death that she refuses to use, instead keeps it locked away and charges it every so often to keep the battery fresh. I think it’s her way of holding on to his memory.

          • The Normal Healthy Julia says:

            When my grandmother died, she left me $10,000. I immediately put it into an investment account and it will stay there for the rest of my life. Even the thought of spending it makes my eyes water. I suppose it is a pathetic attempt at keeping her alive.

            Oh and Julia, you must be an accredited investor to be an angel investor. So unless granny left you more than $1m, don’t bother.

      • Whore My Own Way says:

        Oh and don’t forget that Intel contract!

        Julia Cuntface Allison, you suck at lying.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I had totally forgotten the “Intel contract” lie. Totally forgotten it.

          • mcakez says:

            Don’t feel bad, Albie – it is hard to keep up with her stories. Wasn’t she talking, not too long ago, about trying to get involved with good charities, and how she really wanted to work with some?

            Going back to her bucket list, it is telling how none of it is about helping others as much as it is about promoting herself and rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.

  18. Melting Marionette says:

    i like how she included herself in one of the photos. yes, she is a fixture.

    it’s been said before and i apologise for saying it again, but that entire place is devoid of personality.

    • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

      You have some bias against white? And more white? Luxury retirement condo white? Who do you think you are?!?!

    • Donkeycam now! says:

      She shows her ample backside in the picture. How classy!

      MY CLAM DUNGEON IS AVAILABLE, RENTERS!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

  19. juliaspublicist says:

    I’m taking a collection to rent the place for a couple of days…with Julia in it.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      That would be so, so awesome.

    • A Donkey is a Ass says:

      How amazing would that be? To sit next to her at the kitchen island and do live updating on this here site. She would absolutely lose her shit.

      On second thought, don’t do it. It could be very, very dangerous. Both physically and mentally.

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        Yes, but any one of us, unlike Julia, is capable of talking it through with a therapist for a couple sessions afterwards. It’s ALMOST worth the cost in that light. Let me stay in your home and troll the ever living fuck out of you?

        Jesus, my canklehausen! I’ve never had a flare-up this bad.

    • MY Beach Home says:

      Where do I donate?

    • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

      JP being able to talk about “the home we shared” would make this worth it all on its own. By the way, JP, I read that it’s perfectly acceptable to search the possessions and electronic devices of people you share a home with.

  20. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    I bet Big Julia honestly believes it’s a selling point that she’ll remain in Bray Gardens with the renters. They’ll be graced with her ineffable, tiny&cute, pretty pretty princess, quirky, adorable, SO NICE presence!

  21. juliaspublicist says:

    Also as someone noted above, this HAS to be against her lease agreement.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      Also, for $400 a night? Why wouldn’t you get a hotel room??!?? Hotels, where, you know, you have privacy and your own space. What the fuck? Why would they charge that much? And wouldn’t you be weirded out that someone would be willing to spend that much money to share space with you when they could get cheaper accommodations via any number of hotels, B and Bs, house rentals, etc., without having to share their space?

      God they’re dumb.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      It is against her lease agreement. But this is huge business in NYC. People rent out closets with Ikea mattresses and it’s how they supplement their rent.

      If they get caught, they’re fucked. They won’t get thrown out but the scam will be over fast – and all it takes is one disgruntled overnight guest or one of the other tenants to fuck it up.

    • Peltergeist says:

      YES. I had a friend who insists on doing this. She rents out her tiny, rented studio in NYC to foreign tourists for a week and then begs to crash on somebody’s couch (as far as CT!) while they’re visiting. She lived off of the income from this kind of scam elsewhere so she insists she’ll never get caught in NYC. I can’t wait until her neighbors flip out.

      • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

        Oh God, that’s so obnoxious. How old is this woman? I really hope she’s like 22, a zany artist and struggling to make ends meet.

        At 31, Julia is too fucking old to be doing this shit.

        • Peltergeist says:

          She’s 29 and fully employed. She just doesn’t feel that she’s being paid enough at her salaried job — she only has a few designer purses and shoes, not all the ones she wants. I am not even kidding.

          She previously rented a maybe $500 two-bedroom apartment in Barcelona for four years and refused to work at all. She rented the second room out by the week at $150 or $200 or so, and lived off the profits. I only found this out when she begged our friend to visit her and then told her she either had to pay or sleep on the couch with an un-vetted random stranger in the next room. Somehow she’s gotten very far in life and still has friends.

          Some people.

          • sausage curls/fingers says:

            That sounds like my former friend who I mentioned above. She wanted $500+ plus utilities a month to sleep on the couch in her $900 a month studio 2 nights a week. Her grandfather was paying her rent and her tuition (she transferred from a 4 year 25k a year school to a 5 year 35k a year school that she’s flunking out of) and she had a job at JCrew just for the discount. She loved to complain about how much she was hurting for money but it never crossed her mind to stop shopping for Tory Burch shoes and designer jeans. And she shoplifted from Sephora too.

      • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

        When our offer was accepted to buy our current house and my catwife and I were about to move in together, I listed my old house for rent and it was taken right away. Our closing was delayed twice because of paperwork changes by Wells Fargo, so it took me longer to move out and I was about to become homeless and/or a grifter. I ended up knocking some off the rent so the renters would let me sleep on a couch in the basement. This also made my cat-fiance (at the time) have to live with her parents a few extra weeks.

        It took me about a year to get over the embarassment and dirty feeling of crashing on a couch like that. But I still can’t imagine renting your RENTAL CONDO out while YOU ARE THERE. As Rachel Marsden would say, “DA FUCKKKK?”

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        I gotta say though — I once rented an Airbnb apartment from a girl who rents her place out and goes and stays with her boyfriend when there are guests there. I was touched by how gracious she was when she thanked me for choosing her apartment because Airbnb is what’s putting her through grad school.

    • Dyspeptic says:

      Lease agreements are for suckers. Not our Julia.

  22. IDIOTBOX says:

    Which one of her windows open up to ocean view? I mean…all i see is buildings. And unless they jacked Mr.F’s brilliant idea of Ocean-town, methinks someone may be massaging the shit out of the truth.

    • A Donkey is a Ass says:

      Oh, big deal. A Donkey had basically that same idea years ago.

    • Effervescent Suppositories says:

      If there is an ocean view then why wouldn’t it be shown? Unless it’s the kind of ocean view you get from leaning over the veranda and staring down the road towards the end of the street.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        If there was an ocean view she would have FBed and Tweeted that shit to death.

        Also — can you imagine her outrage if she had been looking for a place to stay in MDR and stumbled across a listing from two chicks charging 400 a night for their place and it wasn’t vacant? She would have been Tweeting about wanting to smash their faces in.

        She is such a weird combination of extreme cheapness yet thinking she’s worth a shitload of money and deserving of huge monetary compensation. So weird.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      That apt is basically on the street. No thanks.

  23. OT: look, Our Girl Teej has a gif!!

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/m1Ooe.gif[/img]

  24. Marina del Rey is full of charm?!?

    [img]http://rumorsontheinternets.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/peggythatsbs.gif[/img]

    My sister has an incredible apartment in the heart of the West Village that she airbnb’s for about two hundred bucks/night.

  25. MY Beach Home says:

    I feel like this whole post and every comment is ringing me. And on my first ring, so blessed!

  26. SchadenfreudianSlip says:

    Sorry to answer my own question, but its very clear that this is for the show. Bravo is pulling these strings. Period. Full stop.

  27. i.just.cant! says:

    julia and julias bed and bfast? wtf. can you imagine what kind of hostess she’d be? you’d walk around and probably step on lilly’s poop, hear manic typing at 3 am while julia sits in her room wearing her dirty robe. and eggs for bfast! wow! but uhm oops, julia doesn’t do mornings! so no breakfast for you.

  28. Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

    I kind of want to sign up for AirBnB so I can offer them a more reasonable price like $150-200 for a night. And then see what they say. Because in the past, I’ve been able to stay in really nice hotels in nice areas of large cities using priceline and hotwire for ~100-120 dollars/night. And MDR does seem to be pretty boring. It would be really funny to see what snippy comment JaBa would use in reply.

    • ShesJustStupid says:

      When you do priceline/hotwire, how close to the date you want to stay do you book the room?

      • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

        Sometimes the night before or day of when I need it. I haven’t ever used them to book that far ahead. A week at most.

        If you think about it, the day you need the room, that’s when the hotel knows how many free rooms they have. If they’re at some very low level of capacity, they’ll take a fraction of their usual rate just to not have the room empty. Because overhead costs are basically the same. And if you’re using hotwire/priceline, they’ll already have your credit card info and know they can place a hold against it just in case you do any damage or don’t check out on time, etc.

        • bitfchface says:

          never use hotwire for anything you might have to cancel – they pretty much have a 0 refund policy for anything, even family illness (found out the hard way).

          I use hotels.com and get tons of free nights off it.

          • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

            I don’t travel that much, at least on a reg basis. And like I said, I usually wait until I’m sure what nights I need, where I want to be, etc. But thanks for the service-y tip. If I have to travel for work and can plan ahead, I’ll def avoid hotwire.

      • Donkeycam now! says:

        Hotwire doesn’t tell you exactly what hotel it is, I don’t like that.

        But I use it for car rentals, because I don’t really care what company the car is coming from and you do get a much better price than the other major sites (like expedia or travelocity).

        • bitchface says:

          def has some good prices for stuff – just never use them to plan a whole trip that costs a lot – even WITH their insurance I ate an entire overseas trip b/c of a family illness (death they might have been more lenient but the illness was a no go with them – got nowhere on their customer support they said sorry that’s our policy).

          • Maria says:

            If you go on betterbidding.com, there are lists of the hotwire hotels (or at least pretty good guesses). Once you match things up with the tripadvisor ratings, you can make decent guesses. For Las Vegas, it’s very easy to tell what the hotel is. If you can game the system and aren’t going to cancel, hotwire is awesome.

  29. Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

    Hmm, $400/night in an apartment (condo, hah) in Marina del Rey with a nut job non-sleeping innkeeper…

    OR you could stay in ACTUAL DESIRABLE lodgings on the westside:

    Shutters @ One Pico (aka RIGHT ON THE BEACH): $490/night with a fucking jacuzzi in your room.
    Loews Santa Monica also right on the beach… : $309
    Le Merigot (ri… you get the idea): $349 or you can do $419 and have a car rental.

    Jesus, you dumb bitches. Your shitbox sterile shabby chic cleanse-and-neglected-dog, weird-roommate apartment in MDR (still, seriously, LOL) does not equal Ocean Ave SANTA MONICA hotel. No one gives a shit about MDR, it’s mostly a joke and a terrible place for out of towners unless you just want to watch the fucking planes take off.

    Undercutting the Ritz Carlton in MDR by 50 bucks a night doesn’t exactly swing the deal in your favor.

    Seriously, dumbfucks, “3x monthly rent” in absence of anything else is the dumbest shit either of you airheaded morons have ever come up with, ever. Especially since you have to live with a goddamn donkey which I don’t think, strictly speaking, is legal in city limits…

    • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

      Don’t forget the $500 sec deposit or the $100 cleaning fee!

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        If I stayed there and neither of those got returned I would be on the phone to her landlord post-haste.

        HOLY FUCK. If I had superpowers I would rain meteors and destruction on MDR today. I’ve never had it this bad, and I’m in a great mood.

        • JFA says:

          LOL! I love you.

          Seriously I can be in the BEST MOOD EVER and this bitch’s antics drive me over the fucking edge. She’s that hideous. Not sure she is human.

    • Nickelodeon Chic says:

      I read “shabby chic” as “stabby chic” at first.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I got $399 for the Ritz on Orbitz.com. WHERE TO STAY? THE RITZ OR WITH THESE TWO DESPERATE LOSER GIRLS? JUST CAN’T DECIDE HOW TO SPEND MY $400.

      The Inn at Venice Beach was $179. I have stayed there and liked it a lot.

  30. Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

    I feel like this is some kind of stunt so that she can claim to live in a “SUPER LUXURY CONDO” that is “RIGHT ON THE BEACH” as part of the show. She can point to the AirBnB thing and “prove” that she rents it out for $400/night when she’s out of town. And she thinks people will believe that this “proves” she must be very financially well off.

    It’s similar to how all of the Real Housewives talk about “well, we paid $_______ million for our house and it has _______ (list of luxury features)”. Of course, Julia doesn’t own this and she lives in it with a roommate. Super sad all around. #failedbragging

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      I think renting out your place by the night does the opposite of convey one is financially well off.

      • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

        I would normally agree, but if they can work it in someway where she says, “I live in a super luxury condo but I’m away SO MUCH on BUSINESS that I sometimes rent it out for $2000 a week” it will *seem* like she must be “well off” to naive dumbasses who watch this stuff uncritically.

        Apparently these people exist. Because some people are actually “fans” of the Real Housewives participants… scary stuff. Probably the same people who are “fans” of Mommy Bloggers, etc.

        • Julia and... Julia xoxoxo says:

          My rich friends pay people to come stay at their place when they leave – so they don’t ya know, get robbed of their stuff.

          That said, if they are trying to capitalize on their Bravo “fame” that is even creepier and sadder – creepier b/c there is more chance of getting assaulted by a psycho and sadder b/c Betheney has Skinny Girl and all these two idiots could dream up was renting out their place?

          It is to laugh.

  31. Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

    Anyone who has that kind of money to spend (a) wants to stay in a more happening neighborhood than hers (b) expects a way nicer place/amenities.

    The last time I dropped $400/night on a hotel was at the Four Seasons (not-so-humble brag) in because I got an amazing suite (on a corporate rate). That’s the kind of shit anyone with half a brain expects for $400 a night.

    • Effervescent Suppositories says:

      Not to mention that Julia herself expects to stay at other people’s apartments and pay NOTHING for the privilege.

      • MY Beach Home says:

        This is an excellent point. How does charging $400 a night to stay in her room while she is there align with the digital nomad ethos?

        • The Missing Davos Report says:

          This this thisity THIS!

        • Albie Quirky says:

          It aligns with her Hipster Grifter ethos like whoa.

          Although wouldn’t it be awesome if some disciple of Alexis Neely just showed up and refused to pay?

  32. The Manta says:

    That ad with it’s (‘tee-hee you could spend a weekend with two HAWT girls’) is going to attract nothing but psycho pervs.

    • JFA says:

      I know. It’s delicious. Besides the perves….NO ONE IS GONNA RENT THIS PLACE. She will never mention it again. Lather rinse repeat.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Just like her web series she planned on doing? What ever happened to that goldmine?

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          Don’t take it so seriously! She talked about that weeks ago! Feel free to relax!

  33. Peltergeist says:

    She has no shame. Or common sense. She wants everyone to think she’s living this high flyer lifestyle, then she posts these repeated scams (selling gift cards? renting out her bedroom?) and doesn’t even *try to* hide her identity. That listing didn’t need to include ANY info about her and yet it did — and it’s full of lies about the Julias’ relationship!

    Just for good measure: JULIA ALLISON HAS NEVER BEEN A JOURNALIST.

  34. flatface says:

    .4 miles away (POINT FOUR)… for $279/night. And much nicer…

    http://www.airbnb.com/rooms/177032

  35. Just Stop It says:

    “We’re more like sisters than roommates, and we spend a lot of time laughing, cooking and, yes, talking about boys. We both dream about traveling the world … someday soon!! We can’t wait to have you stay with us. :-) x julia … and julia!”

    I’m sorry… are they LITERALLY prostitutes now?

    • The Manta says:

      “We’re more like sisters…”

      Boy do I have the weirdest feeling of deja vu.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        So many fallen sisters.

        Also — who DOES that? Can she not have a female friend without insisting she’s “like a sister?” What a crazy-ass whackaloon.

        • KashMoney says:

          narcissists create an illusion of intimacy so that using people doesn’t seem like an imposition or immoral.

          • Natasha says:

            Yes, exactly. It also means (in their head) that the “sister” can’t dispose of them easily or get mad about things because they’re FAMILY.

        • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

          “… and, yes, talking about boys.” Is she fucking 12 years old?! My youngest sister is 26 and doesn’t refer to the men she dates as “boys.”

        • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

          I think the chronic sister-ing reflects her inability to have a real friendship. Most of us don’t need to say anything beyond saying someone is a friend, or perhaps a close friend, to imply a meaningful relationship. But since Donkey is not good at being a friend, simply saying “friend” doesn’t mean much to her — she has to go overboard to prove that THIS relationship is meaningful and speshul.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      “We both dream about traveling the world”… but only to places where there are white people…who aren’t gross and dirty…and who speak English…oh and there needs to be gluten and dairy and sugar-free food available!

      have fun staying in LA FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        Have fun staying on the west side. I feel like east of the 5 is just a little too real for Donkenstein, with the possible exception of the Americana in Glendale.

        As much as I think she’s a nimrod for playing along with the Donk’s horseshit, I suspect Flusher Price is a little more easygoing. Maybe I’m wrong and she’s a total bitch.

      • The Missing Davos Report says:

        BRAYGE.

        Most people “dream of traveling the world” because they don’t have the flexibility to do so. Other than this period filming the Bravo show, Julia ostensibly has. Yet the only time I recall her saying she stepped out of North America was for that wedding in London? And we know what happened with that.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Well, exactly. She punked out of the trip to Paris, after all.

          She went to Sweden on the shill trip.

          • The Missing Davos Report says:

            Sweden – of course. Totally forgot about that. Apparently Julia did too, given the extent of promotion she did for it.

        • The Missing Davos Report says:

          We know what happened with PARIS, I meant to say at the end.

        • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

          copenhagen was boring, never forget.

        • Peltergeist says:

          Her lack of travel is one of the most perplexing things about her. She physically travels so much, yet goes to the same three random cities. She doesn’t even venture into new parts of those cities, or take any good pictures. She clearly didn’t like Sweden (so why go??) and nobody in their right mind would turn down Paris with friends. She’s obsessed with her “travel schedule” and how busy she is traveling, but she never really sees anything or takes in anywhere. It’s so bizarre.

    • helobabe says:

      2 girls, 1 grift.

    • Tribune Slingbacks says:

      She only put in “talking about boys” so people wouldn’t think she was an omglesbian.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Instead people will think she is Mary Kay Letourneau.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        Right? Their ‘how they met’ story makes them sound like a couple.

        • NonSobriety says:

          Was it Juliar or Mary who made the “dyke haircut” comment one upon a time?

          Note: Neither of them seem to have a single les friend. For years. If ever.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Donk said men don’t like short hair and Mary said she had a dyke haircut.

          • Tribune Slingbacks says:

            If she did, she would bray about “My Lesssssssbian Sister” constantly. She would post photos of her standing at least six inches away from her lesbian friend at all times, not touching her but hanging all over whatever straight girl is at the same event. She would post iPhone screenshot text conversations of her texting her lesbian friend things like “I am giving up on men! Are you available?! KIDDING HAHAHAHAHA ;-).” She would write up those embarrassing Yenta blog posts like she does for her single (poor) male friends.

            She does not have a single lesbian friend.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I thought Christine Kelly was gay? Or maybe that’s just my wishful bi-lady thinking, because I think she’s cute apart from her poor taste in Donkeys and Yellers (and bras).

          • I get a lesbian vibe re: Christine Kelly also.

            Remember, Unaware Donkey is Unaware of anyone other than herself, so she probably has no clue one way or the other.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            i thought one of those fashion week videos that christine kelly appeared in was filmed at CK’s boyfriend’s apartment, or something?

    • Tribune Slingbacks says:

      Also, when people really want to travel the world, they find a way to fucking go do it (assuming they don’t have young kids or something). If Julia weren’t leasing a goddamn Mercedes, she’d save enough in a year to travel pretty much anywhere on Earth for a couple weeks and have a great time.

      • Subsidized Donk Den says:

        Isn’t it so fucking sad that she’ll fly all across the country to go to these grifting workshops or whatever but has no time for a real trip? But really why even bother? When Donkey had the easiest and best assignment (go to Sweden for free and write a few blog posts about it), she couldnt even manage that. What person, who is a writer by trade (or pretends to be), who routinely calls herself “curious” and eager to learn, can’t come up with a few measly paragraphs about an awesome country?

        She doesn’t show any sign of having opinions or perspectives unless she wants to impress people. I’m sure when she goes on these trips and doesn’t have an immediate audience to impress, (i.e., fans in the ‘stans), she gets totally bored and zones out, not really absorbing anything. I honestly think she moves through most of her life being so horribly self-focused that anything not directly relating to her/fame/a man is automatically snorezville and not worthy of her attention. (Hence why she immediately forgets about ALL the girls, military spouses, women’s shelters, outlawing sugar, food stamps, or whatever other cause, as soon as it stops being relevant to her current situation.) You’d think someone so locked away in her own world would have something resembling a rich inner life but no. There’s nothing.

    • JFA says:

      I don’t know which part of this is the most LOLworthy – but I’m gonna have to go with “cooking.” YEAH OKAY. One of you is anorexic and the other of you has gone on record a billion times as NEVER COOKING.

      It’s not just the lies, it’s the STUPID LIES.

    • mcakez says:

      I don’t know if many people have seen this movie, but years ago there was a movie version of ‘Josie and the Pussycats.’ Parker Posey plays this record label chick named Fiona, and Julia reminds me of that character. She is narcissistic, attention-whoring, obsessed with pink, desperately wants to be pretty and popular, and will screw over anyone who gets in her path. You find out at the end that she was mocked for her teeth and lisp in high school, and she basically has a severe case of arrested development and is stuck in the high school mentality.

      Here is a short clip (hard for me to look for a better one since i am not at the comouter), but seriously, check out the movie and marvel at the similarities. http://vid2.anyclip.com/MbazbZSBtfngwztxpxDyrvr4e0Nr0zUUDOzBcR9fIi3cGwapoDsEdPt0P1ZPeeVObdA43uK8BKQANMnbBElhCCwgjMODLequbB21qiDVNpg=

  36. Effervescent Suppositories says:

    You know when I’m planning a beach side vacation – central vac is a HUGE draw card.

    • ethel-egg says:

      I know! That cracked me up too. Like, if I’m paying $400.00/night fuck if I’m going to be vacuuming the place at the end of it.

      • mcakez says:

        I assumed it was VAC as in ‘ventilation and air conditioning’? Though I am lulzing for real at her googling herself on the couch like, “The vacuum is right over there, where you can use it. You know, if you were thinking of doing that since you’ve been trudging sand in here on Lilly’s paws after you walked her.”

        • ethel-egg says:

          Haha, right, that sounds more plausible. We generally don’t have airconditioning here (NZ) so the only central vac I’ve heard of is the vacuum cleaners in the fancy houses.

  37. Twatter says:

    Send in a mole rbd!!!!

  38. Peltergeist says:

    I have a sneaking suspicion she does things like this with petty alternative intentions. $100 cleaning fee… She wants a cleaning lady for her own lazy self but can’t afford one. $500 deposit… She wants new furniture and is hoping she can guilt someone into believing they “damaged” it. Violating the lease with renters… She didn’t really want to sign on alone for a year, anyway. I know her dad is a lawyer but how is she not afraid of ANY repurcussions legally, EVER?

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      The problem is – you can challenge your credit card if a Donkey tries to fuck you over and you will win.

      • Peltergeist says:

        Exactly. And I hope someone does. I’d say her half-assed scams don’t work most of the time, but let’s face it — the internet would never hear the end of it if that were true.

  39. [REDACTED'S] mom says:

    OT: Dear Catladies,

    I am coming here today to tell you I am having colorectal resection surgery tomorrow morning at 11 am. I wanted to share that with you because I feel like I know many of you and it’s ok for me to ask you to keep me in your thoughts and/or prayers. I’ve been asking folks to do that because I know it will help me feel safe and cared for tomorrow. And that can’t be bad, right?

    Thanking you in advance!

    • on it! You must be terrified (and hungry). I will keep my thought tendrils wrapped around you (or is that too creepy?) (ring ring).
      -bob’s mom

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      Is this a joke?

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Thinking of you (Redacted’s) Mom!!!! Lots of love and prayers for you. Remember, take it slow and enjoy lots and lots of rest post-op! We’re thinking of you.

      xoxoxoxo

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      hope all goes well, redacted’s mom!

    • Dr. Gary says:

      Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts. Surgery is scary (been there), but you will be just fine. Promise! It’s the thought of it, I think, that’s scarier than actually going through with it.

      You should still have my email (let me know if you need me to re-send it.) Am free to chat any time. Just let me know. And if you need anything, just ask. I mean it. Pizza delivered? You got it! New e-book to read? Done!

    • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

      If you’re having it at Hopkins, I can stop by and hee-haw for you a little bit in case you want your fix of donkey for the week.

    • Sending good vibes to the Mother Lod!

    • Effervescent Suppositories says:

      Keep your chin up Redacted mama! I look forward to you posting and telling us everything went well :)

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      You’ll be fine, Redacted’s Mom! We’ll be thinking of you and cheering on a fast recovery. We love you. And have I mentioned? Your son is hot!

    • Jack the Velveeta Bulldog says:

      We’ll be thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers, Redacted’s marvelous mum! BTW, I love your blog and don’t think I’ve ever posted that sentiment here.

    • bitfchface says:

      cat paws crossed for you!

    • ICrayAnAwfulLotLately says:

      I can already see you smiling in recovery, [REDACTED's] Mom, awake and on the mend after your successful routine/textbook operation, just when you sense the warm basement-dwelling cat lady prayers and best wishes beaming toward you while we await hearing back from you here on good ole RBD.
      May your surgeon’s hands be guided by fleet nursing angels while graced with the sage blessings of Saint Bonaventura.

    • Princess WideStance says:

      Momwick, we love you and wish you a very smooth ride tomorrow!

    • MY Beach Home says:

      All good thoughts are heading your way Redacted’s mom. P.S. I love your blog(s)!

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      Sending much love to you, [REDACTED]‘s Mom! So glad you hang here. :)

    • dd says:

      All the best to you.

    • juliaspublicist says:

      Hugs and thoughts!

    • Dyspeptic says:

      You’ll be in my thoughts. And please check in here to tell us all is well–as I feel positive it will be–when you are feeling up to it.

    • Albie Quirky says:

      You will totally be in my thoughts. All best wishes to you for a good outcome, good care, and lots of people you love lavishing attention on you in person. Be well, dear lady.

    • Live Dependently says:

      Best wishes for a safe procedure and speedy recovery! Wanting to know you are in people’s thoughts is normal, and in my experience it is effective.

    • AnnaPelt is Happy at 138 says:

      You’re in my thoughts, Redacted’s Mom! Let us know how it goes. :)

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      Wishing you a speedy and perfect recovery.

    • Restylame says:

      Will keep you in my thoughts!

    • Fameless Shamewhore says:

      Sending you tons of good wishes from Berlin! Can’t wait till you’re posting on RBD again. All the best!!!

    • Donksers says:

      Prayers for you, [REDACTED'S] mom. You’ll be safe, and by this time tomorrow, the surgery will be over, and you’ll be in the recovery/healing phase. As others have said, please check in to RBD when you can.

    • fig says:

      Ich drücke die Daumen!

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      Sending you strength and hope for both an easy recovery and good health for the future!

    • The Missing Davos Report says:

      Good vibes going your way, [REDACTED'S] mom.

    • CaptainGary says:

      Godspeed and good luck, Mama [Redacted]! You’ll be fine! We’re all pulling for your quick recovery!

      • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

        Enjoy the Percocet..really take it slow and easy after surgery..colace, colace, colace..stay on top of the pain and take an anti-emetic.

    • Wonkeye says:

      Wishing you a quick and painless recovery. Make them give you the drugs!

    • Flying Donkeycopter says:

      Wishing you a safe surgery tomorrow and sending good thoughts.

    • Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

      Please post that you are OK as soon as the anesthesia wears off, ok?

    • Ex Spurt says:

      You poor luv, colorectal surgery is NO fun. Been thinking of you today and hope the surgery sorts what ever initiated it. And if you’re sitting up in bed post-op reading this, I’m going to tell you what I used to tell my patients (I’m a RN)… be a squeaky wheel, no suffering in silence, it’s the squeaky wheels that get oiled! Koala hugs from Australia.

  40. Effervescent Suppositories says:

    I have a feeling that Julia’s realtor is going to become one of us soon :)

  41. bitfchface says:

    between Julia Allison and the snarking on this thread, LA sounds like a horrible place to live

    #justsaying

    • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

      Venice – awesome.
      Santa Monica – awesome.
      Culver – awesome.
      Marina del Rey – boring.

      • CaptainGary says:

        So true, C&B – MDR is office parks, old people and chain restaurants.

      • bitfchface says:

        yes; I didn’t mean that it WAS (I can plenty of awful things about living in SF, or CA for that matter), just that she makes it sound so freaking boring and awful (although she did a good snow job in the airbnb “description” apparently)

        • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

          If your whole day is fucking around in your shit-ass-boring MDR apartment and maybe getting your raft ass over to the Linc/Rose Whole Foods, then yeah, your LA life is impossibly sad. For people who actually get outside it’s a lot of fun.

      • Dr. Gary says:

        I grew up in LA, and for as long as I can remember, Marina del Rey has been known as the place for olds and creepy divorced guys.

    • Donkey of Perdition says:

      So I noticed a “sanitary” canal running behind her place in the street view tab. I looked it up and it’s actually the Ballona Creek (remember the concrete waterway that the Terminator drove a semi on while chasing Eddy Furlong in T2, yeah that thing).

      It’s the LA basin watershed, draining the entire city and emptying it into the tidal Ballona Lagoon. I was like wtf, who the fuck wants to live in a tidal zone with a sanitary creek in its heart carrying all of LA’s runoff and sewage overflow.

      “Lack of adequate and regular maintenance program for the Venice
      Canals* and Ballona Lagoon. Effluvium (odors) resulting from poor
      circulation, lack of maintenance, and occasional accidental sewage
      discharges in the Venice Canals* and Ballona Lagoon.”
      http://planning.lacity.org/complan/othrplan/pdf/venluptxt.pdf

      [img]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_TpNRWC9y6m0/SqQ41XQRNSI/AAAAAAAACGw/gPlrt12Iq_I/s1600/BalLag9-5-09.jpg[/img]

      I don’t know, it seems like there are expensive houses in the area but tidal zones/lagoons smell; especially those mixed with raw sewage. Do people from LA actually brag about living next to that thing?

      • CaptainGary says:

        Not that it makes Ballona Creek any less janky, but the scenes in “T2″ were filmed in the LA Rive flood control channels in the Valley – basically Van Nuys/North Hills.

        That said, MOST LA people don’t really brag if they happen to live in Marina del Rey. They’ll generally gloss it over by saying the live in Venice or Playa. But then again, La Donks isn’t “most people.” She’s spay-shul.

      • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

        Hand to god: Marina is not in the same class as Santa Monica or Venice. It’s mostly a joke. It’s an area you drive through on the way to LAX. I’ve never heard anyone in MDR brag about it. If they’re the bragging type they will say “south end of Venice” or some bullshit.

        Ballona Creek is basically a semi-protected environment which means that yes, it’s gon’ stank.

        (The T2 stuff was shot in the valley, nowhere near Marina)

      • Cowboys & Brayliens says:

        That’s actually a protected wildlife sanctuary, believe it or not. Really interesting nature that you don’t see in the area; massive night herons and snowy egrets go fishing in that water (that photo is of an incredibly low tide). At low tide it stinks like hell – primarily from algae — but city engineers artificially control the water levels by way of a gate out into the Marina channel.

        Ballona Creek is nowhere near that section. The Venice canals, about half a mile north of here (north of Washington) are arguably the best three blocks of housing in the entire LA basin (with prices to match).

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Lovely! So picturesque and fragrant!

      • Occupy Donkeytown says:

        Verdant!

  42. Can-Swiss says:

    I can’t believe she think someone will pay $400 a night to stay in her apartment. I just stayed in Zurich, one of the most expensive cities in the world and paid $100 a night for an AirBnB apartment.

  43. cakez says:

    This needs the MyBaldRunyonCanyon full treatment.

  44. Jimbo says:

    I would love to live with these girls for one or two nights!

    • Peltergeist says:

      Jimbo, are you a troll?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Jesus Christ, go to Nevada and hire some actually attractive sex workers who won’t bray at you or talk about their shitting habits. You’ll save money and sanity.

  45. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    REPOSTING
    OT, but Meghannaise started another company/website: http://www.talksession.com/
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/meghanasha
    RIVETING CONTENT: http://www.talksession.com/about
    this chick is mega’s business partner: http://angel.co/bizmelizzHad an amazing and productive weekend with @meghan. @TalkSession is launching in July/August and we couldn’t be more excited!
    they have a video about their “company” but it’s password-protected. http://vimeo.com/34710541

    “TalkSession will change the way people seek counseling and advice by breaking down the physical and geographical barriers associated with traditional methods and offer online video counseling and unbiased advice when and where users need it most. TalkSession offers a user-friendly portal with a seamless UIX. Through recommendation algorithms, the platform will allow users to find professionals best-suited to their needs and interact with them directly. This might be in the case of someone who needs quick advice for an acute problem, or a user who wants to utilize the same professional on an ongoing basis. TalkSession will have therapists available on-demand so users can interact with counselors from the convenience of all wireless devices at any hour. TalkSession will feature well-known self-help thought leaders in the spaces of relationships, careers, nutrition, self-development, and overall well-being and create conversations around issues. ”

    ——————-
    and for the person who asked whether jordan called herself an “expert”, well yes she did. (cf. yesterday’s quote ““I would never call myself an expert,” she told The Observer.”)

    • bitfchface says:

      that’s another joke, right? There are already like 5-6 companies doing this!

      Probably got $5.6M in funding too

      *grumble*

    • Albie Quirky says:

      Meghannaise is tardy to the party; there are already three or four companies in this niche after there was a bunch of media stuff about psychiatrists and therapists counseling people via Skype in 2010.

    • Peltergeist says:

      These days, anyone who calls themselves an expert in anything… is not.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      I’m Fiona Wallace, and THIS is Web Therapy.

    • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

      I find it interesting that she chose this as her niche considering her last “business partnership” was with a notorious mentalcase. Megs believes Donk’s mentally ill, too, and has talked about it to those in their circle.

      Verrrryyyyy interesting.

      Totally speculating here, but maybe they’re no longer “sisters” because Megs told her she needs help.

  46. ks says:

    I noticed the similarity in “airbnb’s” style to Task Rabbit’s site in about 0.5 seconds. Are they part of the same company or what?

    • Albie Quirky says:

      No connection. Maybe they hired the same company to design the websites? TaskRabbit started in Massachusetts in 2008 (it used to be called “RunMyErrands”), and Airbnb started the same year in SF.

      • bitfchface says:

        all these web2.o sites look the same any more

      • PARANOID MOTHERFUCKER says:

        Maybe. Isn’t there a “Get your own intern” site Julia was just shilling for too? All this shit is connected. Julia doesn’t have that many different business opportunities. They all revolve around the same concept. You are a poor person who’s never heard of Craigslist; sell your X for money or get X for free/cheap on the web and use our reviews and blah blah blah. We know how closely Task Rabbit was tied to the show.

        This is where I actually got sick reading the comments today. Everyone bitching about the price tag or viability of this happening. Julia is laughing her ass off at you guys eating this garbage up. Of course no one (except central casting) would rent a boring ass condo with no style, garage(!) and with two ugly bitches in it for $7500/month. At that price you should get a barebacked threesome every night in addition to sleeping ALONE on that king sized bed. The whole point of the high price is to make sure no one actually takes them up on the offer.

        Fuck Julia and fuck believing in her wack ass shills. If this is real, I’ll go there myself and take a gigantic shit and smear it on the walls. That ought to be covered by the $100 cleaning fee.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          TaskRabbit and Airbnb aren’t owned by the same people at all; I actually know the TaskRabbit founder very slightly.

          Maybe both companies are working with the same product-placement representatives to get them on the reality TV shows?

        • Donksers says:

          Paranoid Motherfucker sounds a lot like Matt Beauchamp.

          • NonSobriety says:

            PM has the same user pic as KS – maybe PM formerly known as KS? But not MB. IMHO, PS. XO LMNOPOMG

          • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

            Just the same anger level, sometimes.

  47. Scooby Don't says:

    Oh Donkey,
    Your mind is Tiffany-twisted and you got the Mercedes bends .
    Welcome to the Hotel Donkifornia.
    You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave …
    because a burro will track you down and make you like her!

  48. Sacred Scrapbooks says:

    The airbnb thing is just too insane for me to process. They both need minders.

    In other news, Emily of “sex with” fame discusses “Miss Advised” in a recent podcast. There are 8 episodes. She says it will premiere sometime in June, July, or August. Her stuff was shot last Nov and Dec. She is somewhat concerned about how she might be edited into a character. I only made it halfway through before falling asleep.

    http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-with-emily/id82456189

  49. NonSobriety says:

    The brayborhood watch should start a fund to come up with enough money to force a donkey out for the duration of the lease.

  50. Bray Against The Machine says:

    Next thing you know she’ll be running ads on Craigslist for “Super Luxury Massages.”

  51. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    AAAANNDDD, I think I just found (one of) THE MOST AWESOME Julia Allison quote EVER: “Is there a more definitive modern way of ensuring you WON’T find love than appearing on reality television??…there is absolutely a time and place to do a show like this, when you’re young and fun and you just don’t care. That just doesn’t happen to be me anymore…. don’t delude yourself – or let the producers delude you – into thinking reality tv is actually a good plan for meeting the love of your life.”

    bitch, you’re on a reality tv show at age 31 looking for a husband!

  52. quicklikeabunny says:

    Julia Allison
    7 minutes ago near Los Angeles, CA
    Does anyone know Aaron Sorkin? I just added “Receive sext from Aaron Sorkin” to my Ultimate Bucket List of Things To Do Before I Die and I want to get working on that shizz.

    Stupid donkey is stupid. And sorry I don’t know how HTML or anything fancy like that.

    Uh also, long time listener, first time caller. Love your work.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      taryn southern can teach you HTML (lol! & don’t worry about it)

      [img]http://i.imgur.com/lfCNI.jpg[/img]

    • Peltergeist says:

      Why so obsessed with “sexts,” Donks?

    • Empty, Scheming Doll says:

      I suggest Mr. Sorkin contact the Department of Justice and see if they’ll let him join the Witness Protection Program…

    • Sweet Prince says:

      Aaron sent me a sext once. It said “You take my breath away”.
      [img]http://i44.tinypic.com/1zv7fdf.jpg[/img]

    • Exhausted Drag Hag says:

      Aaron Sorkin had a raging e-affair with Carrie Fisher, so maybe Julia should dress up like Princess Leia.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Julia and Carrie Fisher are kind of morphing into each other – man voice, huge veneers and bee stung swollen faces due to fillers – he might go for it!

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        don’t give her any ideas!

  53. LetItExplode says:

    Why stay at the Ritz Carlton Marina del Ray right on the water for $459 a night when you can bunk with a Donkey for $400?

    https://www.ritzcarlton.com/en/Properties/MarinadelRey/Reservations/Default.htm?ci=04:25:2012&co=04:26:2012&ng=1&nr=1&up=false

  54. Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

    When you go on the airbnb homepage, you’ll see this slide show of truly gorgeous homes in some of most in-demand cities in the world going for half of what she’s asking.

    http://www.airbnb.com/

    What a delusional, money-grubbing ho-bag.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      We should take bets on how soon they’ll knock the price down and to what. I say in 2 weeks it will be down to $350 (though if she were smart… $300).

      This really shows how arrogant a Donkey is to not even compare prices of places offered close to her.

      • mcakez says:

        I think KS nailed it earlier – this is a half-assed shill, just to plop on her resume. She is probably counting on no rentals, just feeling like she has been been part of the cool-hip grifter digital masturbation movement. Like, she didn’t just surf couches, y’all! She tots offered hers up, too!

        #digitalnomad #digitalwhyyoumadbro? #missadvised

        • NonSobriety says:

          I suppose it’s possible, but I find it hard to believe that airbnb would basically pay her to create a faux listing. They don’t have it featured, no attention has been drawn to it publicly etc. If you spend marketing dollars on “influencer” stuff you try to get your monies worth out of it. I just don’t see it making sense as a shill.

    • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

      PICTURES I’VE SEEN: Friends of mine in a motorcycle club have stayed in THIS PLACE (it’s a whole “Graham Parsons’ thing, is why I’ve seen pics I recognize).

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        Look at that fucking place. It’s an architectural masterpiece. And renting for $50 less a night than she’s asking.

        • It's Always Shinny in Calfadelphia says:

          The house frame is Bosch aluminum (think appliances) & also there’s a ritual of which directional windows (hermetically-sealed, not caulked, mind you) to open during which time of the day, but you’re still very much in the element, my friends said (ie: inside temps only slightly more comfortable than outside temps), not that they cared in the least. I think my friend’s friend may know the owners & had even helped in the construction, but it’s been a couple or more years since I heard about their Joshua Tree trip.

          Can’t believe that I spelled “Gram” as ‘Graham’.

    • FIEIRCE Mani(pedi) says:

      she’s clearly going for The Holiday….sounds so much like the script. except she forgot she needs to LEAVE!

    • JFA says:

      I clicked on one that was the same price. It was literally a multi-floor house, better decorated and actually in Venice.

      Why does she not yet realize this is the shit she does that make people laugh at her ass?

    • juliajane says:

      It’s not only delusional but I think unethical of her to try to rent her bedroom out for that much. Any person who would pay $400 t0 stay in her bedroom would have to be so ignorant of hotel prices and accommodation and that makes the whole thing exploitive.

  55. Twatter says:

    Im telling you bastards- pool your money and send in a dinking donking mother-braying MOLE!!! Live from ground zero!!!! Good morning viet- donk!!!!

  56. Cankles says:

    Any catladies want to pitch in and throw a bitchin rager? Like totally

    Hi there! We are very friendly, but we ask that you respect our home – our furniture is all Shabby Chic (so that’s a lot of white!!) and we ask that you treat it like it was your own.
    Depending upon whether one of us is here or not, we ask that you not have raging parties or anything … just use this place as a chill spot from which to enjoy LA!

    • Subsidized Donk Den says:

      The best is the restriction against pets, coming from a woman who has allowed her dog to shit basically everywhere.

  57. Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

    Let’s take a step back and think about who she is trying to impress. Some dude, right? Founder? Silicon Valley founder? She priced the place way out of the market, so she clearly doesn’t really want anyone actually staying there. Yet, she’s playing the hipster-grifter thing. It’s all about some guy, I think. Could be wrong.

    • NonSobriety says:

      I found the perfect man for Donks: http://www.thetutuproject.com

      Except, even he is taken. Not that she has a problem with that.

      • Andy Wintour hacks (up a furball) says:

        I wish this man could be added to the RBD headline image. His hand positions are so…delicate? It’s just perfect, even the pricing: “For $500, you will receive a special edition 20-by-24-inch signed tutu print, valued at $1,200″.

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