Pretty Pampered Princess Bitches About Being On A Reality Show, Complains About Crap Money

Numerous tipsters have reported that Donkey has been telling anyone who will listen to her how much she has hated being on a reality show, and complaining bitterly about how little she’s being paid. She also insists that Miss Advised is almost entirely about her — she is the show, not the other two. Perhaps that’s why she feels she should be getting more money.

The show is shooting until May, then airing in September. Some Bravo post-production people have said she looks like a complete disingenuous, over-acting, lunatic ham. Others out there in the blogosphere have said she’s being edited to look “adorable.” I imagine it will depend on how well people are acquainted with her various ploys. Only time will tell, donkey-lovers!

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321 Responses to Pretty Pampered Princess Bitches About Being On A Reality Show, Complains About Crap Money

  1. Random Snowflake says:

    Donk is not very fauxtogenic..

    • Meow Mix says:

      Her face looks like a clay mask in an amateur pottery class, and the artist keeps remolding it to fix it but just can’t get it right.

      • LEFOOLIEH says:

        So apt that – despite my fear when it first popped up on my screen – I repeatedly looked back at that scary ass photo and kept laughing harder each time. I’ve been cured! Thanks, Dr. Zizmor Meow Mix!

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        THIS

  2. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    Julia is having lunch with one of the “stars” of “Silicon Valley”.
    hermioneway: lunch with @juliaallison and @benpbway in LA -Woop!

    • LEFOOLIEH says:

      Feel free to relax, bunny, it’s just partnership strategery! Popcorn teefs is out, SOMEONE’S gotta take her place so a donkey can attempt to make cross-promo on “Silicon Valley” happen.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Do you think its Donkey’s way of trying to muscle herway back into Randi’s life. It is only a matter of time before Randi is physically accosted like poor [REDACTED].

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          It totally would not surprise me. “I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, RANDI!!!!” Even though Randi was sister Facebook, it was always obvious that donkey considered herself superior, the “catch” in their friendship (not unlike most of her relationships). I’m sure Randi helped by being enamored/in awe of her in that “OMG the pretty, popular cheerleader wants to be friends with ME! I have been avenged for junior high/high school!” way and a donkey took advantage of it with glee. The power dynamic has shifted and we’re left to wonder… why is donkey so angry? Why does she care?

  3. Albie Quirky says:

    It’s not the kind of thing most people do for the money–the idea is to do it either as a hoot, or as exposure for your real gig(s). The problem is that A Donkey has no real gig(s) and a complete inability to enjoy fun of any kind.

    • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

      Yeah, Bethenny said flat-out that she only did RHoNY to get her business going. Annoying though she may be, she’s done it right.

    • The Purloined Tiara says:

      Yep, it really would have been a good way to promote a syndicated column or a very public spot on the staff of a magazine. Um, erm, idiot?

      • Albie Quirky says:

        This is why she is such a dumb, dumb Donkey. She fucked up a real opportunity (TMS column, “Windy City Live”, actually paying attention to building a media presence in Chicago where she had free housing) chasing after this one, which is going to take her nowhere. So she’ll be $25,000 to the good or whatever, which sadly is nothing considering her spending habits, and with lots more burned bridges.

        • Princess WideStance says:

          Yeah but her new column in Elle will start turning up sometime before the show airs.

          It will be well written and ineffably well received. None of the dating advice will be recycled or crowd sourced. Julia Allison will be the voice of her generation. A quiet, dainty and soothing voice.

          • NonSobriety says:

            “Of her generation” – from the looks of her and the sound of her I’d say 1950 is her generation. Totes.

        • ShesJustStupid says:

          I really do consider that TMS-with-Windy-City-Tie-In her biggest blown opportunity. At a time when she was getting older and going nowhere in NYC, here was a chance to be a big fish in a smaller pond where no one hated her yet. And live FOR FREE. Chicago is a million times more livable than nyc (I lived there for 7 years) and her family is there. Plus–in my opinion–it would have been easier for her to land a guy. Where’s the “lose” there? Dumbass.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Agree that for a normal person, being in the city closest to her hometown near long-time friends who for some reason tolerate her craycray like Dan and La Billow would have seemed like a way to make more friends and meet guys and generally have a life. Heck, Wife of Dan might have introduced her to an up-and-coming young lolyer!

          • AFGHANI says:

            Billow lives in New Orleans, right? And I’m pretty sure Cancer Dan is a lawyer in DC?

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            @Afghani: Dan is a graduate student in Urbana/Chicago. Billow does live in New Orleans.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I don’t follow the Billow but she seems to come back to Chicago a lot. Dan lives in Champaign, where Wife of Dan is a perfesser at the law school. His brother lives in Chicago.

    • sausage curls/fingers says:

      her only skill at this point is grifting. it’s no surprise that she’s trying to yammer her way into a bigger paycheck. maybe she can throw in a couple shots of her cooking up some cheesy skillets for some extra cash.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        It’s so weird that she doesn’t have any ability to weigh the financial advantages/disadvantages of her different actions, especially seeing as she grew up in economically comfortable surroundings, went to an expensive university, etc. She’s like someone spending all their money on lottery tickets, and then redeeming cans and bottles (which is about what she gets for those stupid Twitter shills) to buy more lottery tickets. Did her parents not teach her basic skills about money management, or does her personality disorder and stupidity make her incapable of sound choices?

        • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

          I too am incapable of sound choices. It’s the WORST.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I am terrible about money myself, because until I got sick my modus operandi was always “buy stuff, and if I run out of money work more” but A Donkey is really extreme with this crap. Every time she gets a job she spends all the money and more and then doesn’t do the job because she’s angling for the New New Thing (OBO!) and then lather rinse repeat.

            And then she wastes her time and tarnishes her brand (uck, I feel filthy even writing that last phrase) by promoting Velveeta or whatever.

            Her manager is a competent person, by all accounts. Does she just not listen to a word of his advice? Momsers and Dadsers seem to live well within their means; why didn’t they teach her to do it?

  4. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    Gee, with her lawyer and manager working FOR YEARS on this contract, she still didn’t get what she wants? Bravo’s whole deal is basically, “We’ll give our cast members a platform to promote their various businesses and they can take that opportunity and run with it.” Emily and Amy with benefit from this. Just like Jill (fabric) Ramona (jewelry), Bethenney (Skinny Girl) and on and on and on.

    Only a LAZY DONKEY ™ would not get this!!!!

    PS – adorable is for Toddlers and Tiaras. Adorable at 31 is wildly deranged and demented. PPS – if the show is “all about her” it means she will be protrayed as a fucking loon b/c that’s what gets ratings.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      *portrayed (among many typos)

    • Meow Mix says:

      Seriously. Who goes on an embarrassing reality show like this for shits and giggles? I mean, I guess some people do cause they want to be “famous” but if you’re a moderately smart person, it seems like the only legitimate reason to do a show like this is to promote a business or product, like Bethany or Jill.
      If Julia wanted to be “famous” she should have been an actress (ha!) or done a decent job at any of the jobs she’s had come her way (Star, Tribune Media, even TMI could have been a stepping stone if she had any work ethic, intelligence, or screen presence). She’s doing an embarrassing second-tier Bravo show that displays her crazy for the world to see… for what? She’s not getting paid much. She’s not promoting anything that would lead to more money or opportunities in the future.

  5. My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

    Just wanted to note that I saw Julia TWO DAYS after this photo was taken and her hair was STILL greasy as fuck. Her lack of basic hygiene every time I see her never fails to astound me. Can’t imagine why you have chronic acne when you layer shitloads of makeup over dirty skin, and have your greasy hair rubbing on your face all the time!

    Hermione Way has been clawing her way up the tech visibility ladder for years. Imagine if your goal was to be the prettiest girl in Silicon Valley. What an inspiration for “women in tech”!

    • NonSobriety says:

      Hermione Way is a really nice and fun girl who also happens to be relatively smart, incredibly hardworking, and driven. Why the snide tone, just because she’s managed some “visibility” and isn’t Fugly Like A Donkey? Being visible doesn’t mean you are A Donkey, being pretty doesn’t mean you are A Bitch. When you work for yourself, visibility is how you market. So tired of this crap here. Anyone not anon is not instantly a famewhore. Stick to Donkey bashing.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        If you’re looking for the moral high ground, you won’t find it on the internet. #happyhunting

        • NonSobriety says:

          Sorry not taking any moral high ground. This is a place to bash Donks, this isn’t GOMI.

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            I love it! You think commenters on a snark blog will restrict themselves to your preferred topic? Really?

            When did RBD turn into Jezebel?

            #dontinternalizethesnark

          • NonSobriety says:

            So if anyone defends anyone here then they must be some righteous crusader? Whatever. I didn’t like the comment towards a person who doesn’t really deserve it so I said so. Oh well.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          I must have misinterpreted “Stick to Donkey bashing” and “[t]his isn’t GOMI.”

          Hermione Way must be a real winner.

          • NonSobriety says:

            I’m not the first to say here that I bash Donk because she deserves it. She has proven this bray after bray, year after year, nose after nose. I don’t come here to snark on other people who, though they may not be perfect (who the hell is?) don’t deserve to be treated like Donk. There’s a place for that. GOMI. “Hope that clears things up”.

            Not sure why you’re making this your chewtoy of the moment but I’m bored with this now so go ahead and get the last word if you want. I’m moving on, feel free to relax.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            you feel free to relax, NonSobriety. don’t come around here tossing out definitions of what “fits” at RBD or what “belongs” at GOMI. anyone who associates with a donkey is fair game, and (most) people who are involved in a reality show can be assumed to be grasping fameballs. if hermione way is the awesomeness you claim she is, that will be borne out by her (continued) success in business and by her not appearing as a vapid bitch on her reality show. but again, –> reality show. so…

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            NonSobriety’s umbrage isn’t suspicious at all. Not a smidge.

          • NonSobriety says:

            Handbag WTF is “suspicious”? I know her. No conspiracy theory here.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            Hermione is a pretty name.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            Hermione IS a pretty name.

          • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

            I wonder if she looks good in orange?

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            How could she not?!?

          • Sake Bombardier Advised Miss Julia Allison to Lay Off the Google Alerts says:

            [img]http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/funny-pictures-hermione-cat-knows-all-the-answers.jpg[/img]

      • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

        Hermione is laying down with a donkey, and I have plenty of intel on her from her days across the pond. Donks of a feather bray together.

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          That can’t possibly be true! HW is the only substance in the universe hard enough to scratch Chuck Norris. She cures cancer with her woman-y technicalness AND she’s impervious to snark.

        • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

          I haven’t seen anyone say anything really unfair about hermione… If she’s donk-ing it up with JuLiar Allison, the fameball label probably fits.

          • NonSobriety says:

            “Hermione Way has been clawing her way up the tech visibility ladder for years. Imagine if your goal was to be the prettiest girl in Silicon Valley. What an inspiration for “women in tech”!”

            I think that’s unfair. Sorry you don’t agree.

            It’s more than possible that this meeting has been arranged by Bravo so both have to dance for the puppeteer. I highly doubt they are hanging out without the Bravo context, they’re not friends.

          • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

            Hermione isn’t a fucking slave. If I ever sign a contract that forces me to make kissy-face with Julia Allison in public, I hope my loved ones shoot me.

            Hermione is a famewhore from way back. She mixed with similarly shady people in London. Anything for attention.

          • ShesJustStupid says:

            Well, she likes her enough to post a photo of them post-launch on twitter.

            hermioneway ‏ @hermioneway
            Hot, Hot! Fun Lunch with @JuliaAllison and @benpbway http://pic.twitter.com/R6fKAB1l

            @hermioneway @benpbway – Worst look on my face … ever. Which is really saying something. Love you two! Can’t wait to start some trouble ;)

            In reply to hermioneway Hide conversation 4:27 PM – 10 Apr 12 via web · Details
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          • AFGHANI says:

            ouch. that picture is game/set/match. brutal.

          • Dyspeptic says:

            Ouch. Julia looks very sulky in that photo, perhaps because Hermione coopted the position that would have allowed Julia to show her good side, forcing her to turn her head awkwardly away from everybody else;. Or perhaps because Hermione is wearing a cuter, more form-fitting dress. Whatever is bugging her, she didn’t even have the heart to strike a hand-on-hip pose to match Hermione’s. Heh.

      • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

        then she will be the first person to ever appear on a bravo reality show that fits that description non sobriety… non-famewhores do not go on bravo reality shows. full stop. except maybe zoila… no, i love her, but she’s a famewhore too…

        • NonSobriety says:

          In my opinion, a “famewhore” is someone who has no viable talent to speak of, no skills, no biz op – just whores for fame. A famewhore wants to be famous for the sake of it. Those who use fame as a marketing or promotional vehicle for legitimate ventures are more opportunist than famewhore. Again, in my opinion.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            But that is what all famewhores say, even the Kardashians.

          • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

            What’s Hermione’s “legitimate venture”? So far, all she’s done is create multiple vehicles for self-promotion. She fails to grasp even the most basic aspects of entrepreneurship (http://bit.ly/HIxjLQ) while also touting herself as “a leading figure in new media and internet startups in London and globally” (risible, and clearly untrue: http://bit.ly/HH6QSb). She also happily associates in public with the likes of fellow famewhores Julia Allison and Sarah Austin, to name but two. And don’t forget the naked pictures – http://bit.ly/HH78IT. All this, and the reality show, are in the name of “legitimate ventures”? Give me strength.

          • NonSobriety says:

            This: http://www.newspepper.com/

            She’s also worked her tush off for TNW and has been really awesome about interviewing startups that are little or unknown alongside her more high profile interviews. When she interviews she is prepared, poised, friendly – unlike a Donkey.

            She modeled in a calendar for charity. What a horrible person.

            We could go back and forth all day, bottom line is we disagree. I probably won’t change your mind and I’ve made up my own.

          • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

            Yes, Newspepper was her first prominent self-promotion vehicle. I’m aware of it, and it’s described at excruciating length in the Crunchbase profile I linked to. Yes, we disagree, but if you post an opinion that is clearly not borne out by evidence, expect to get called on it.

            I understand that you like her, but she’s been a famewhore and mixing with other famewhores for years, across two continents. She’s a famewhore you like, but still a famewhore. End of.

          • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

            “Founded in January 2008 Newspepper is a four-year-old Internet media company specializing in marketing, PR and content creation around online video. Video has been a huge area of growth in the past few years and we believe it’s the future of communicating your products or services to your next generation of clients. Our focus is in video production, livestreaming, guerilla marketing, and the optimization of content, making sure it gets in front of the right eyeballs.”

            Dear god. What horrendous copy.

          • Clearly on Crack says:

            So, NonSobriety…

            Hermione is NOT a famewhore…

            …Partypants IS a famewhore…

            …and RRR is AAF.

            Can I haz your drugz?

          • NonSobriety says:

            @ClearlyOnCrack

            Your name describes you well. :)
            I don’t share my drugs but here’s a finger for ya…

            xo Bunny

        • Rosalie says:

          LEAVE ZOILA ALONE!!!!

          • helobabe says:

            I live for all things Jeff Lewis – including Zoila and Jenni but, quick question: Is that a lip implant? It has to be, right?

          • Rosalie says:

            Hmm. Probably!

            I’d love for Interior Therapy to come to my maybe new house & do a room. Or all of them.

            Also, I love Jenni’s hair!

          • helobabe says:

            I also dream of him coming to my home and judge everything. I always die when he interacts with children, too. The first episode was great. I want to sip martinis with him all night and talk about everyone we hate. He’s also friends with Tori Spelling who I can’t help but love. (New house? Congrats! I have to check up on your blog, I’m slacking lately…)

          • Rosalie says:

            Yes, he is amazing with kids! I didn’t know he was friends with Tori. How did I not know that? Speaking of (sort of), I DVRd Shannen’s new show last night & am excited to watch!

            The new place is a one-story which I need for my back. It’s a tentative move. I need to see if it can be redone within our budget first. But it could end up being exciting! A major appliance company is giving me a nice media discount, so that helps!

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            Rosalie, I just saw this and thought of you. Even if you and your husband don’t fight, you can pretend that you do to get the help!

            Name: Shoshana Shapiro ABC

            Category: Entertainment and Media

            Email: query-2237@helpareporter.net

            Media Outlet: ABC

            Deadline: 12:00 AM EST – 17 April

            Query:

            ABC DAYTIME TALK SHOW SEEKING FUN COUPLES WITH DESIGN DILEMMAS

            Do you and your husband constantly fight about renovation
            projects in your home? Does something as simple as choosing
            paint colors have you and your mate in a heated debate in the
            isles of the hardware store? Or, Is your husband so oblivious to
            your home interior design that he doesn’t even know what color
            towels you’ve had in the bathroom for years. Or perhaps you and
            your husband would like to makeover a part of your home and need
            help to figure out where to start. If this sounds like you,
            then ABC’s The Revolution would like to hear from you. Our
            design guru, Ty Pennington, along with Interior Therapy star,
            Jeff Lewis, want to help you with your design dilemma. Only
            those willing to share their story on national television should
            reply.

            Please email casting@the-revolution.com and write “DESIGN
            DILEMMA” in the subject line. Include a brief description, your
            contact information, and a photo of you and your husband!

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            @Pilot: this must be the result of a literary collaboration between MMBH and Hermione Way, there is no other explanation for this horrendous writing (isles [sic])

          • Rosalie says:

            OMG, Pilot! Thanks! That show just got cancelled today, so I wonder if this will actually happen. I’ll apply though!

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        Hermione is a nice girl. I have met her. She also works hard. So does Sarah Austin, whom I think is very similar in a lot of ways (and whom I have also met on multiple occasions).

        BUT. They’re both completely self-absorbed and seem incapable of doing anything professional in which they aren’t the center of attention. You can be a very friendly narcissist, but still a narcissist, and I would think Next Web would be embarrassed to have one of its writers 1) on a reality show, and 2) posing in a skimpy romper in the background of her Twitter page.

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          with a lollipop. And a booty tooch.

        • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

          I think people confuse “nice” with “charming because you may be useful to them”. Narcissists are always looking for the angle that will allow them to gain from knowing you – that’s not being nice, it’s being opportunistic with a smile.

          And yeah, a lot of self-promoters work hard at self-promotion. They’re not exactly digging ditches or teaching school kids – they’re getting their hair did, posing, and working every possible angle to gain from others. Let’s be real; if this is what passes for nice, hard-working people, we really are in trouble.

        • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

          The thing about Sarah Austin is that she’s really stupid but has dated (ahem) the right guys to advance her visibility. “Nice but dim” would be charitable.

          • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

            Dim is correct. I bet she wanted to be on “Silicon Valley” but was turned down because she can barely hold a conversation without looking at a teleprompter.

  6. Random Snowflake says:

    I really hope Emily Morse and Amy Laurent hear about this crap the Donkey is spreading.. Should make for some good entertainment when Andy does that after-show thing. I wanna watch them tag-team slap her down on national TV.

    And the nose in this posts fauxto is really bothering me.. What the hell.

    • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

      This show will not warrant a reunion. It is to laugh!

      • NonSobriety says:

        Have you guys seen Shahs of Sunset? It’s. So. BAD.

        I’m not sure whether there will be a reunion but the “stars” of that particular shit show have been all over WWHL. Julia would slobber that up like luxury caulk with the promise of REAL-Louboutins-Thankyouverymuch.

        • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

          Shahs of Sunset… yeah, no stereotypes involved in THAT show. (I agree… it’s the worst. Miss Advised will have a tough time being more heinous)

        • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

          Shahs of Sunset is getting monster ratings. Let’s see if Miss Advised ever does that.

          • DSM V: JFA Edition says:

            i wonder if reza’s haircut will becomes a thing…

          • NonSobriety says:

            If that horror show is getting monster ratings, Miss Advised might actually have a shot in the dark. And that is pathetic.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I wouldn’t call the ratings monster but it is certainly outperforming everyone’s expectations by a factor of WTF.

          • Jordache and the Pelts says:

            Shahs of Sunset is produced by Ran Seacrest, who has a good track record – like his creations or not. Rezza seems ready-made for TV and thee is crossover with the RH/Bravo universes (Mohammed from RHBH is Sammi’s clients). The show also focuses on the Persian Jewish community which I think is interesting. On WWHL the other night, Andy seemed sad that that this season was only 8 episodes. Shahs is hella lot more compelling than Julia or MissAdvised.
            Can you imagine what a disaster Julia would have been if she had been at that circus upfront/Night of 100 Bravo starts or whatever? And how much she would tank if Andy actually had her on WWHL? Julia is not adorable or funny.
            I also think Kim Richards is going to die soon (I was right with my suspicions about Anna Nicole Smith and Whitney from their shows). Shame on Bravo – and her famewhoring family – for signing her up for another season, she’s a wreck. Kim was clearly out of it at the upfront and stupid Andy just laughed it off.

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            Jordache, do you have more info about Kim? I’m so sad to hear that.

            A friend of mine is a former producer for one of the RH series and when I asked him if they’d have any drama without alcohol in the mix, he said probably not. The process is to get them drunk and watch the fur fly.

          • Jordache and the Pelts says:

            I don’t watch RH Bravo shows with regularity – I don’t have cable at my house in Baltimore, and sorta catch up on weekends away at cable friendly houses, and I’m not particularly emotionally invested in any of the franchises – but I can access the Bravo app on my ipad so I watch the WWHL after show (I’m not charmed by Andy but I like many of the guests – shout out to Sandra Bernhard, Kristen Johnston, and Robin Byrd (!!!!) – and that they are off the cuff).
            I’m not Afghani so I have no particular or peculiar intel on Kim Richards but my impression was from the start this is a vulnerable, damaged soul with serious substance abuse problems who should not be paraded out on reality television. I was a bit shocked to see her on the upfront and to learn that she had signed up for a third season. It was a blip on the upfront, but she was waay out of it (and applauding when the West Coast tem lost during the shriek fest). This is a woman with children who needs to be privately focusing on her recovery – and no Dr. Drew vultures. Kim is withering away and dying, vulnerable and desperate, and its not amusing or entertaining. In my head I’ve already been calling Andy Cohen “Andy Dick” for promoting this tragedy. It’s not going to end well and Andy is an ass for being so glib.
            The majority of the “Housewives” have either been able to parlay their exposure into either promoting their existing businesses or create their own franchises from the experience. They are all loons, but Kim is especially vulnerable. Andy and Kyle should know better.
            I doubt Julia will be able to build upon the exposure – she’s too lazy and unoriginal and thoroughly unappealing – and I also doubt she will resonate with audiences and the whole MissAdvised will both be under the radar and another taint to her awful resume. I don’t worry about Julia, as I do with Kim, though. Julia’s like a diminishing whack-a-mole and this may be her last strike in the big-time but she will be playing these games no matter where she is for the rest of her life no matter wherever she is operating. I don’t think she is as internally self-destructive as Kim (I also don’t think Julia has a conscious or a soul or a concept of being at risk). I do blame the parents somewhat – she’ll always be indulged with a safety net.
            But this Kim thing is not going to end well.

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            Jordache, I appreciate your response. Agreed, Andy and Kyle should know better.

        • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

          I was excited for Shahs of Sunset (wow, that sounds sad) because I’ve spent some time in the middle east, love it there, am fascinated by Persian-American culture and have some friends who are first generation American from Iran… I just thought it would be fun and educational.

          Ha. I had to turn off the TV and walk away. There’s a limit to how much bad behavior I can handle (but maybe Missadvised will increase my tolerance).

          • Albie Quirky says:

            I have met some really interesting people who grew up in the “Tehrangeles” scene, too, but apparently the people who cast “Shahs of Sunset” didn’t.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            My brother’s joke conspiracy theory is that the show was funded by the National Italian American Foundation just to counter “Jersey Shore” and show that superficial assholes come from all ethnic backgrounds.

      • Jordache and the Pelts says:

        MissAdvised is absolutely tertiary and will be killed off quickly in the programming block off season cycle. Seriously, can any one remember but a few of the contestants on the Jacqueline Smith Hair Show or Super Model or the post Runway exodus Mizrahi hosted Fashion show- this is how MissAdvised will be ghetto-ed out. Julia is no Bravo superstar.

  7. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    I wonder how many years her contract is for. It’s rare that you can only negotiate for one year unless you’re as big (LOL) as Camile Grammer. A real Network will lock you in for 5 years – they do this so if you become a huge star via the show, they have your salary increases capped.

    Still convinced the show will die but interesting if it doesn’t b/c Bravo will own her.

    • Rosalie says:

      A lot, if not all, of the Real Housewives never know year to year if they are being brought back.

      • Maria says:

        I think you sign on for a certain number of seasons, but there is always the possibility you will not get invited back. They don’t even have to use the footage of you! That’s how a lot of HWs end up as “friends” of the housewives. They shoot a ton of stuff and then realize it doesn’t work.

  8. Stripper Shoes on the TeeVee says:

    No one ever looks adorable on a reality tv show. If I am wrong, please give me examples. It’s all about showing the worst of human nature. Otherwise, it’s not watchable.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Exactly.

    • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

      Jason Hoppy is adorable, because 1) he is a really nice guy (a friend used to date him) and 2) they need him to be in order to maximize the Bethenny neuroses. But seriously, you know they edit the show to make him look as good and perfect as possible. Nobody is perfect, but I can’t think of a moment shown where he looked anything less than angelic.

      • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

        That’s a good point. I pointed out something similar about Donn Gunvalson (Vicki’s ex husband from RHOC) the other day.

        • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

          Yeah, Donn always looked like such a sweetie. I think Vicki is way, WAY worse than Bethenny, so I can’t imagine how that guy’s balls survived.

          • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

            It was funny that her kids are on Team Donn and still hang out with him (he’s not their biological dad). And at that one season-ending party, Donn wasn’t there and the ONLY thing everyone wanted to ask Vicki about it, “where is Donn?????”

          • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

            Agreed. And how bloody fake and smarmy is her new guy, Brooks? Even Tamra can see it, and she’s dating a gay man.

          • Bi-coastal Birthday Chicken (افغانی ) (AFGHANI) says:

            It’s funny that Brooks has the same problems in his life that she’s ALWAYS held against Slade. He’s a deadbeat dad who owes a lot of child support. I think he has some criminal charges in his past, as well.

            And yeah, Simon came off badly at times, but it’s hard to tell how much of that was a result of watching his marriage deteriorate as Tamra kept up appearances for the show, leading to foreclosure, etc. And now Tamra’s dating a gay guy. Hilare-ballz indeed.

          • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

            Simon is a narcissist, too. The fathers who post 30 pics a day of them with their kids, who are always posting about how much they love being a dad, about how much they’re glad they can take high road “unlike some people” — they’re always the worst. He’s awful.

    • Who do you think you are? says:

      I haven’t watched reality shows in years (save for a few episodes of The Biggest Loser) so forgive me for very dated examples. Elisabeth Filarski (now Hasselbeck, and I know, but remember when?) and Colleen Haskell from early seasons of Survivor. Or maybe competition-type series don’t really count since they usually by definition have a very broad cross-section of people, likeable and not?

      • Stripper Shoes on the TeeVee says:

        Colleen Haskell was the island sweetie pie, and she made a movie after that and then disappeared into obscurity. Elisabeth Hasselbeck has a famous husband…so she doesn’t count. Now compare the nice Colleen with the horrid Theresa Giudice…and think about all of the insane people that are on Millionaire Matchmaker, including Patti, herself. There are no nice, normal realty tv “stars”. Only horrid ones.

        • Wonkeye says:

          Lisa Vanderpump and her husband come off okay. And the plastic surgeon married to the Malouf on RHOBH seems like a doll. But that’s about it.

      • Sad Rat In Sidewalk says:

        Everybody adored Ethan Zohn when he was on Survivor, and the guy has done a ton of great things since. That said, when you win a million bucks and use it to found a charity, chances are good that you’re on the right track.

    • The Purloined Tiara says:

      “Adorable” is a lie someone’s putting out there to please A Donkey. They’re gaslighting her.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Can you imagine the epic cray of phone calls her manager must get? Lawd.

    • Donkeycam now! says:

      The money shot of reality TV is humiliation.

      The moment everybody remembers is when the “star” gets drunk, throws up and slips on the vom patch. Nobody remembers (or wants to see) people behaving like well adjusted adults. That is just too boring.

      Jerry Springer, a true pioneer, saw this coming a long time ago and built a career on it.

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA says:

      Kandi from RHoA is adorable, I’m sorry.

  9. Meow Mix says:

    I could tell from the preview that she’s a total ham in the show. She TOTALLY plays towards the camera in an over-the-top, gross way.

    (Julia, if you’re reading this you’ll take it as a compliment but it’s not meant that way). It’s kind of like she’s meant to be in front of reality TV cameras. I imagine that in real life, when she acts like a total obnoxious, loud, braying ham with friends, acquaintances, or family members she looks like a lunatic. When she does it in front of the camera, she probably doesn’t have any immediate feedback from people who roll their eyes or give other social cues that she’s acting like an idiot. When she’s doing the confessionals or acting out scenes like the prom dress in the cheesy tux store for the cameras, it’s like she’s in a vacuum where she thinks she’s just the cutest, funniest thing on the planet, which feeds her to act even more over-the-top. You can see in any video posted of her the moment when she starts thinking she’s cute and she acts even more like an obnoxious character than a real human being.

    • Helena (Betrays Signs Of Bitterness) says:

      Tosts. See: lipdubs. (two of the four Donkey videos I’ve seen)

      • Helena (Betrays Signs Of Bitterness) says:

        I meant “tots,” but maybe I could make “tosts” happen if I bray really loudly?

        • LEFOOLIEH says:

          Or if you imagine a lisping donkey trying and failing to squeeze the word out through her veneers?

      • Yoo hoo!! says:

        I love that “tots” outlived that relationship!

  10. NonSobriety says:

    A Donkey is complaining? A Donkey is hee-hawing that she deserves more money? A Donkey is saying it’s all about her? It’s a day ending in “Y”?

    OMFGSTFU! /diesofshock

    A Donkey will also say it’s all the “editing” later, yet will come back (if invited) season after season trying to make herself look “better” than she did the season before. Flailing and failing until they cut her off.

    Same story, different medium.

    • OMGPearskank says:

      Hackers changed the editing that previously had brought out her loveliness, hackers, I tell you :)

  11. Peltergeist says:

    I am and have always been firmly on the “It’s not fair, she always gets rewarded for being an awful person” team, but… I really can’t wait to watch this show!

    • pearipathetic donkey says:

      I’ve always been in the “I hope she gets what she wants” because it will just unleash the cray. More LULZ for us.

      • Peltergeist says:

        I hope they show what happens when she *doesn’t* get what she wants, because the lunacy that results from that is always spectacular. There are sleep-deprived, sugar-stuffed toddlers who haven’t achieved that level of meltdown.

    • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

      I’m excited about the show. And I hope she manages to get OMG-married in the near future, too. Preferably televised…

  12. KashMoney says:

    how would she even know she’s the star of the show? much of the series is filming the 3 women independently, as the clip-reel showed.

    Is Julia a solipsist? If the cameras aren’t on her at a given movement, they no longer exist?

  13. sausage curls/fingers says:

    the only thing I want out of this show is to hear her explain this website on camera in the context of us calling her a donkey. I know she outright avoided it by calling us “reblogging” fans in the tweet but god, please let me have this…

    • Peltergeist says:

      She’ll get it wrong, as usual. She’ll say pony or horse or giraffe. See: elephant knees.

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      “They call me Donk, it’s because I have all this junk in my trunk, like a badonka-donk, just like Kim Kardashian!”

      • helobabe says:

        Yup, especially now that “donkey booty” is a Bravo/RHOA thing.

      • Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

        Either that, or she’ll say something like “I used to be kinda loud and have this really embarrassing donkey laugh, so some people called me Donkey. But I’ve grown and matured so much since then! Donkey is just a stupid childhood nickname from literally years ago. What did bullies call you when you were a kid?”

  14. Cake Liar says:

    She cannot be arsed with this filming malarkey until May – this Donkey wants instant gratification as usual, and her attention is waning due to not being able to concentrate on a single damn thing, again, as usual.

    Rinse, lather, repeat – it really is astounding to look back on the years of RBNS/RBD and see how many times she has screwed up/lost interest/fucked someone over. She signed up because she wanted the adoration/money part, but lacks a single ounce of self awareness that would set alarm bells ringing in any normal person’s ears.

    What did she honestly think was going to come of this? Fuck you money? A handsome rich husband? Everyone seeing the light and finally ‘getting’ her? I despair, I honestly do.

  15. ShesJustStupid says:

    JuliaAllison Thank you to @MidwayCarRental for facilitating my Cadillac test drive experience!! This is the third Caddy I’ve tried & I’ve loved them all.
    7 minutes ago

    JuliaAllison Just picked up a brand new Cadillac CTS loaner for the next two weeks – trying out the (very fast) sedan now before I buy a car next month!
    8 minutes ago

    JuliaAllison After the $91 I spent on ONE TANK of gas yesterday for the Infiniti SUV I rented from Hertz, I think I’m sticking w sedans or hybrids. Oy.

    • My company worked with Julia Allison -- NEVER AGAIN says:

      The more free shit she gets, the more she complains. Donkey: YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL!

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Is Math really that hard? Big Giant Status Marker Car needs more gas than Little Status Marker Car?

  16. LEFOOLIEH says:

    I know a donkey rarely associates with the browns, but perhaps in her digging to find out how much fuck you money she was entitled to demand, she came across this:

    http://www.bet.com/news/celebrities/2012/04/10/real-housewives-of-atlanta-salaries-revealed.html

    FYM, indeed.

    • helobabe says:

      But what I really want to know is the income for She by Sheree!

      • AFGHANI says:

        or T.G. Fabulicious (which was notably absent from the Giudice’s bankruptcy filings last year)

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      I’m sure it would make her head spin like a top but I am sure Bravo argued that TRHWO is a franchise and it comes with it’s own built in audience.

      That said – 5k to ruin your life vs. 650k has got to hurt – but this is a Donkey who is willing to sell cheesey skillets for $60.00.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        Every time the cheesy skillet comes up I become famished. I’m like a laboratory animal.

        • solidarity cat says:

          All for you Handbag!

          [img]http://asouthernfairytale.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/cheesy-santa-fe-skillet.jpg[/img]

        • stalker is the new fat says:

          We used to call those “White trash casserole” and did not get all fancy with the garnish.

          • Mini Driver says:

            If I’m having a Cheesy Skillet for dinner, Christ knows I’m not dicing shallots.

  17. Donksers says:

    Stupid, lazy Donkey is 31 years old, has never had a real job (probably never will) but continues to expect Fuck You Money and everything else to be handed to her on a silver platter. The older she gets, the more despicable she becomes. I think it really bothers her that she’s the dim bulb of the family. She desperately wants to be a shining star like little baby brother Britt, but only if she can find a shortcut to get there. No way in hell is Julia Allison ever going to work for anything!

    • Random Snowflake says:

      “Despicable” is one of my favorite words, right up there with “defenestration” :D

      • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

        I remember learning the word “defenestration” as a pre-teen and then trying to work it into conversations. Awkward… I still have a weak spot for the word, but I’ve given up on ever using it.

  18. Authenticity Costume says:

    ADONKABLE!

  19. Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

    From a Donkey’s Facebook:
    Has anyone watched the entirety of Bloomberg TV’s reality series “TechStars”? I’m considering downloading it & doing a marathon (for research purposes) but I wonder if anyone has opinions on the show. Did you find it intelligent? Witty? Entertaining? Other thoughts/comments/critiques?

    TRANSBRAYTION: I want to be like Randi Zuckerberg! I was to be a Producer of a show! But I’ll do it better! I’ll do it… like it’s already been done!

    • FIEIRCE Mani (pedi) says:

      Dear donkey, yes I watched tech stars, it was ok….you will not be able to do better. Oh dear.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks says:

      “Research” on David Tisch, most likely. Anyway, odd thing for her to post since so many of her “friends” are involved in that show — Gary V, Crowley, and Sklar.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      From Hermoine Way’s site “Newspepper” – I’m gathering a Donkey’s scheme juices are bubbling as she’s realizing everyone will be producing a reality show but her!

      Are You A TV Network Wanting To Make A Reality Show About Silicon Valley?

      We are currently working on creating media for a number of projects that would make amazing and engaging TV shows, to give you an idea, one show is a cross between the Amazing Race and the Apprentice and the other is like the XFactor for technology startups, another, a real life Sex And The City; Sex And the Silicon Valley.

      If you are a TV network wanting to make a show about Silicon Valley we are the production company to work with and already have pilots to show you.

      Get in touch: info@newspepper.com

      • Princess WideStance says:

        Oh gurl, you need to hire a copywriter.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Oh, you did not go there about the amazing Hermione Way! SHE SHITS KITTENS; WHO CARES IF SHE DOESN’T KNOW A SEMICOLON FROM A SEMI TRUCK? KITTENS, I TELL YOU!

        • Sake Bombardier Advised Miss Julia Allison to Lay Off the Google Alerts says:

          It’s like they sensed there were a half-dozen spots where a semi-colon belonged but weren’t quite sure, so they just threw one in and called it a day. Too bad it was where a colon should have been.

          • Donkey Mnemonic says:

            It read like those passages you sometimes see where the author has Capitalised Every Word Just In Case.

      • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

        I’ve had nightmares that were better edited.

        • Albie Quirky says:

          I actually did have a nightmare in which Philip Seymour Hoffman and some guy who was in the dream my Uncle Dick but not my actual Uncle Dick argued about the appropriate use of the conditional. Which included Dream Uncle Dick singing “If I Were a Rich Man” in a very hammy accent.

          WRITERS! EVEN OUR DREAMS ARE NERDY!

    • Donkeycam now! says:

      Alternative transbraytion: I want to be like Randi Zuckerberg but I am too lazy to even watch a TV show. Please watch it for me and tell me all I need to know about it in 3 sentences or less.

  20. Tremendous Liar; Donkey Repugnant says:

    Cannot believe the “edited to look adorable” rumors. That would require CGI in every frame and the brays overdubbed by a voice actor. I suggest Eddie Murphy; he has experience voicing donkeys.

  21. Grammarian says:

    “adorable”

    [img]http://www.christopherpeterson.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/julia_allison_star_magazine_christopher_peterson.jpg[/img]

    [img]http://21.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kut6m3ONEg1qz7na0o1_500.jpg[/img][img]http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/7/2009/01/custom_1233095777823_Picture_4_05.png[/img]
    [img]http://blog.juliaallison.com/Images/Julia%20Allison%20-%20Halloween%20Shoot%201.jpg[/img]
    [img]http://21.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kut6m3ONEg1qz7na0o1_500.jpg[/img]

  22. Grammarian says:

    adorable. continued

    [img]http://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/suchaweirdo3.jpg[/img]

    [img]http://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/NB8YioMLi5koavxuz944CCsU_400.jpg[/img]

    [img]http://rebloggingdonk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/NB8YioMLi5koavxuz944CCsU_400.jpg[/img]

  23. Exhausted Drag Hag says:

    If this has already been said, I apologize, but when I look at the progression of her looks from high school/college to pre-gawker to gawker to now, I think her ultimate goal is to look less Jewish.

    • peltvest says:

      uhm, she’s not Jewish. She has no goal to look”less Jewish” and you’re a dick for saying that. She’s just gotten injects to look less like her ugly, horrid, inner-self, which is gentile. And she’s failed at that. She is a nasty, vile, disgusting person, and her swolt face is reflective of her nasty personality.

      • JFA says:

        She’s like 1/8 Jewish or some shit. Maybe 1/4? But yeah…fuck off with the disgusting anti-semitic comment already, Christ.

    • OMGPearskank says:

      As I’m sure you are not going for the tired (among other things) “Ha ha! Big nose! Must be Jewish!”-stereotype – this doesn’t even make sense.

      • Exhausted Drag Hag says:

        No, it’s not about any one thing in particular on her face, but I can see it. Also I’m not putting a value judgement on whether it’s better or worse – so I’m not a dick or anti-semitic.

    • Imminent Meltdown says:

      The former I found amusing – although I was raised Protestant, I’m either ¼ or ½ Jewish, depending upon who you talk with in my family (I tend to think it’s closer to ¾, but whatever).

      She is when it is convienent.

      • Afghani says:

        Her maternal grandmother was Jewish, I believe.

        • OMGPearskank says:

          For crying out loud, even if she was, how is that in any way relevant?

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            Afghani’s point is that some members of the Allison family *are* Jewish and Julia can’t resist co-opting anything that might make her stand out. No doubt she thought it would help her land her prey-of-the-moment. I don’t see anything wrong with pointing out Donkey’s evershifting history.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            It’s relevant that she’s all OH LOOK HOW JEWISH I AM SO JEWISH when she thinks that’s going to get her what she wants, and all OH LOOK WHAT A WASPY WASPY WASP I AM WITH MY CHURCHWHORE OUTFIT when she thinks that’s going to get her what she wants.

          • AFGHANI says:

            Julia also went through a phase where she pretended to be atheist/agnostic. I believe this was around the time of Redacted II.

  24. Jimbo says:

    At least you admit in the headline she is Pretty. Ha ha!

  25. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    a bunch of subtle shilling going on by bravo’s new bitches (promoting “silicon valley” as well as cast member’s site carsabi):

    @benpbway:@JuliaAllison check out @dwightcrow he is on the show as well and has a great car sale startup site…

    @dwightcrow – Hi Dwight! I’m in the market for a new car (or a used but new-to-ME car!) & Mister @Benpbway said you’re the man to talk to!

    Just picked up a brand new Cadillac CTS loaner for the next two weeks – trying out the (very fast) sedan now before I buy a car next month!

    Thank you to @MidwayCarRental for facilitating my Cadillac test drive experience!! This is the third Caddy I’ve tried & I’ve loved them all.
    –>leading to Cadillac tweeting to her offering their assistance.

    and of course the obligatory shout out to “the home they shared”:
    @jwrosenberg – I did too, but my ex Jack drove a CTS … and he used to be a race car driver in Japan when he was younger! They’re FAST.

    • cupcake cray cray says:

      that last tweet, god, what a psycho.

      julia, here’s a tip for how normal people talk: when speaking to a group of people who probably don’t know your ex, most people would just say “my ex-boyfriend used to drive to blah blah blah…” the only time I ever identify an ex by name is if I’m talking to family/close friends and knowing who I’m talking about would help their understanding of the story. otherwise, it’s just superfluous information and you just come across like you’re still hung up on him, because otherwise you wouldn’t give him the respect of identifying by name.

      granted, this is a donkey we’re talking about, and she IS still hung up on the mccain she lost nearly a year ago, and she’s identifying him because having dated him is just another high status marker. loony donkey.

      do you think we’ll see a talking head in miss advised with her wearing his belt and stroking it softly, lamenting the big fish that got away?

      • cupcake cray cray says:

        and as long as I’m talking about high-status markers…
        @seananorvell – Thank you! That’s super helpful. The 2005 SLK I’m looking at has about 60,000 so that seems fine according to that rule!

        LOLOLOLOLOLOL excuse me while my snob is showing, but, julia, dear heart, if you’re buying a mercedes because you think it shows how OMGrichandfamous you think you are (and we all know you are), nothing says rich and famous like buying an eight year old used car! that’s our dear donkey, always doing it just slightly wrong!

        and also…
        @mrbijoy – Well … I think the most prudent decision would be used, don’t you? But it depends on financing. Also I love LOVE the 2012 SLK.

        since I have only ever financed cars while I’ve been gainfully employed, perhaps I am naive on this subject, but don’t you have to have a regular.steady income to get a car loan? don’t banks like to see that they’re very likely going to be paid back before handing out money? or am I just crazy?

        oh wait, this is just legalese, daddy will co-sign for her so her ‘income’ really does’t matter so much…which is probably why she’s not buying a car till next month, because he won’t sign off on the loan without seeing the car for himself to make sure he’s not investing in another non-society, and he probably can’t come to visit till next month…or won’t come to visit until cameras stop rolling. either way.

        • Afghani says:

          The routine maintenance and repairs on an 8 yr old Mercedes are very expensive. Can’t wait til she finds out how much an oil change and oil filter are for a Mercedes… or what a timing belt costs. She complains about gas prices and airlines that charge $100 to rebook tickets… LOL, Julia with a Mercedes (technically Dadster’s car, of course) is going to be constant bitching about the cost.

          • Shamoolia says:

            Oh my god yes. European cars are a BITCH to maintain. LOOLOLLLOLOL to her for considering buying a an eight year old used Mercedes with over 50K miles on it. What an idiot. My friend bought a used Mercedes (newer than Julia’s) and immediately sold it less than a year later because it was $100+ for an oil change and usually $500+ for any routine maintenance beyond that.

          • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

            I had to sell a car I loved because I couldn’t afford to maintain it. The turning point was the $165.00 plastic cover for a tail light.

          • JFA says:

            My dad has had a series of Mercedes and seriously when he gets like, a small dent on his rim he is looking at multiple thousands of dollars. How is Dadsers greenlighting this shit?

            What a tacky ho.

          • Grammarian says:

            I had a fender bender, and my practical Japanese import scratched, literally scratched, the front bumper of a Mercedes. It cost $1200 for the Mercedes. Not a scratch on mine. I paid cash to the repair shop so my insurance wouldn’t go up.

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      “He used to be a race car driver in Japan when he was younger.” Umm, isn’t Jack only like 26? The way she phrases things is so weird.

      • Shamoolia says:

        He’s around “little” brother’s age, so of course that means he’s a child.

        Also, FUCKING PSYCHO for name dropping him.

      • Afghani says:

        His parents probably sent him to some “learn to be a race car” fantasy camp or something for a couple weeks when he was in high school. The stuff Julia picks up on is so, so weird.

        • Shamoolia says:

          Ha! Toyko Drift Camp for Short, Spoiled Macho Teens With Inferiority Complexes! Love it!

          Yes. She tosses around “race car driver” like he was a NASCAR driver or something. And what kind of car racing was it, dear Julie? Formula One? Sprint cars? NASCAR? Le Mans?

          • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

            Seriously. This idea of a 17 year old Jack at race car sleepaway camp has me chortling uncontrollably… do you think he had a race car bed at camp, too?

          • Worrisome Pelts says:

            I like to imagine he has a race car bed NOW.

          • Helena (Betrays Signs Of Bitterness) says:

            LULZ @ the race car bed.

            But hey, I bet he was at least as much of a race car driver as Donkey was of a pretty graceful dancer-bunned ballerina. /neva4get

    • Albie Quirky says:

      She’s going to buy a car WITH WHAT? To go WHERE in? She has no money and no job and no friends and no purpose in life.

  26. anon says:

    Did anyone see this? http://www.cecinewyork.com/cecistyle/2012/02/21/v82-our-muse-festive-new-orleans-wedding-ruth-michael-part-3/

    [redacted]’s bride looks stunning and beautiful wedding overall. [redacted] really dodged a donkey…

    • IDIOTBOX says:

      On her wedding day, the bride wore less make-up than the donkey wears for a coffee run.

    • Shamoolia says:

      Beautiful. I love New Orleans. Was this [readacted] from the overlap email?

      • Donksers says:

        Yep, he’s the one. But Donkey wasn’t being petulant, hateful, or psycho; she was just trying to help a sister out.

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      Wow, she’s really pretty. And I think her nose was free.

    • Afghani says:

      She’s significantly better looking than Julia. If for no other reason than that, he really did dodge a bullet. And to think, Julia has only gone downhill (drastically) since…

    • Princess WideStance says:

      Ummmm… has Donkey seen this I wonder? I think this might finally push her over into “Dadsers taking me to an institution” levels of crazy.

      • Jacy "Donk" LaRue Jacy "Donk" LaRue says:

        I can’t imagine she hasn’t seen it. She must Google that dude’s name once a day.

        • Shamoolia says:

          I did a little googling myself on the lovely couple. Over-the-top engagement with lots of jewelry, three-week honeymoon to Maldives and Bali, she’s successful and gorgeous …. Julia must cry herself to sleep every night that she lost this guy. Also – he’s hot. And a cat person!

          • anon says:

            Whoa, you’re right! I didn’t realize she was an attorney. Surprised there was no restraining order filed against the Donkey.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          In addition to a grave yard where friends, relationships and job opportunities have gone to die – we might need a chart as to how everyone who has cut a Donkey out of their life has flourished!

      • JFA says:

        This is Julia Allison we are talking about here. She’s been poring over these since whenever the fuck they were released. She’s had the date memorized since it was announced. THey probably had a security detail on the lookout for her that day. She’s been crying herself to sleep since. Etc.

        • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

          Lol… who says there is no Karma?

          My bad, why did she break up with him again?

          PS, saw a pic of Redacted 2 in a suit looking smoking hot – he’s running on the top of a building (photo shoot) and in my mind he is running away from a Donkey!

    • Shamoolia says:

      Wow. There are more pictures. It’s like Julia’s dream wedding, except, you know, tasteful and extremely well done. I’m jealous – crystal Loubs, Lhullier dress, motown band, New Orleans setting, pink done tastefully… Julia would be seething if she saw this – and you know she will because she NEVER READS HERE.

      HI DONKEY! [REDACTED] IS A TOTAL HOTTIE! AND HIS BRIDE IS GORGEOUS! SUCKS FOR YOU!

      • Albie Quirky says:

        Yes, that looks like a fancy wedding that was actually fun for the guests (for once). HA HA SUCK IT DONKEY

      • D says:

        Did you also notice that redacted’s wife (burn) let her bridesmaids wear their own shoes and jewelry (I only noticed b/c I was put off by the black shoes-I like the girls that wore silver, but that’s just personal taste). No demands of same hair, same dress, same shoes, same Ramanahanajana lama lama dingdong jewelry. Go redacted & wife! Live long, prosper, have a shit ton of cute babies!

        And yes, some brides still insist on having matching drones from head to toe on their pretty princess day. I’m 30 and been in more weddings I can count where I was required to wear a uniform.

        • Dancing With Myself says:

          Yeah, I wanted that for my bridesmaids too. But they wanted me to pick everything for them! So I told them they should decide how they want their hair – that way it won’t seem too matchy-matchy (which I detest).

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      Wow, he is hot… she will never have that level of hotness again. Um, er, oops!

    • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

      Anyone notice that one of her bridesmaids looks like a perfect combo of Mary Rambin and Jordan Reid Berkow?

      Stunning wedding, they look truly in love. I think her hair is real, too.

    • Frequent Liar Miles says:

      But…but…all the PINK!! They ripped off Donkey’s original concept! Next thing you know they will be setting up house in a shabby chic assisted living facility with OMG french (aka sliding glass) doors.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        Wedding Fluffer.

        • Shamoolia says:

          Almost every ex boyfriend of hers has gone on to marry beautiful, successful and accomplished women with connections, degrees and careers that donkey could only dream of. PhDs, prestigious schools, talented – the whole shebang. How pathetic she must look in comparison with her high point being… a reality show.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        did you say pink? i’m sure julia is busy photoshopping her head on this RIGHT. NOW.

        • mcakez says:

          [redacted]’s wife is so pretty, in a very natural, effortless way. Like, omg, Kate Middleton!

          Congrats to them both, and I wish them all the happiness in the world.

    • JFA says:

      I hate that dress though. Hate. Don’t know or care what that style of dress is called, but it’s ubiquitous now at LI weddings…but yeah congrats dodged a bullet etc. I always thought he was cute.

      • Dancing With Myself says:

        It’s called the ruched mermaid gown with comforter-flowers on the bottom. Blech.

    • New Year New You says:

      That looks tacky as fuck.

      Exactly what a donkey wedding would look like.

  27. anon says:

    Did anyone see the most recent attempt of Julia flirting with black rapper, DeStorm? She’s since deleted what she said, but you can still see it by googling. Here’s the convo:

    Destorm Power ‏ @DeStorm Close
    Car wash, haircut, groceries, gym #todolist
    5:31 PM – 6 Apr 12 via Tweetbot for iOS · Details

    [since deleted, but found through google]
    @DeStorm – where’s “second date with Julia” on that list?? ;-) about 20 hours ago via Echofon in reply to DeStorm · JuliaAllison.

    Destorm Power ‏ @DeStorm Close
    @JuliaAllison its’ on there, you didn’t see it?
    7:12 PM – 6 Apr 12 via web · Details

    Is she really interested in him? If so, why did she delete that tweet?

    And back in Feb:

    Julia Allison ‏ @JuliaAllison · Details
    Talking about our second date on Twitter AGAIN?? ;-) RT @DeStorm: be patient….it will happen

    Destorm Power
    ‏ @DeStorm
    Follow
    @JuliaAllison nope our second kiss BAM!
    10:11 PM – 16 Feb 12 via web · Embed this Tweet

    • peltvest says:

      no way, she’s just dicking around for jelly d

    • Afghani says:

      He’s some youtube show guy. They might have the same manager. And I agree, no way she’s interested in him. Theyre just using each other for whatever limited attention they can get from it.

    • JFA says:

      Hahaha it’s so fun seeing her obviously set up by Bravo dates. As if her dating life weren’t artificial enough. What a fucking asshole tweeting about it, Jesus Christ she is 12 years old.

      Reason #75 you will NEVER get a boyfriend.

      • Worrisome Pelts says:

        This. Decent, normal men wouldn’t be caught dead with La Donk, especially after this airs.

    • She's a cruel and strange bitch says:

      Publicly nagging a guy about a second date for two months? That’s just embarrassing.

      • JFA says:

        It’s just so embarrassing. Anyone who has actively dated in the past few years knows just how so so so embarrassing this is. Jesus. It’s like twitter announcing to the universe that you are both dumb, and undesirable (if he liked you he would call you dumb dickhead).

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        You confuse Donk with someone who has shame or dignity.

    • JFA says:

      Also the tenor of these tweets…jesus it’s a meeeting of unfunny mental midgets. I can’t even watch anymore.

  28. Afghani says:

    The main thing I learned from reading this comment thread is: Hermione Way sucks as a human being.

  29. Shamoolia says:

    OK, it took me half a day to realize this was a new post from the previous post. Nice work, whoever is capturing the waxy muppet face in all its glory … they all blur together into one horrifying mask after a while!

    She’s an idiot for complaining about how “little” she’s being paid. You dumb donkey, it wouldn’t seem like so little if you didn’t blow it on pointless travel, expensive ugly dining tables, rent for living in a place where you don’t have a steady job, and $400 car leases. Maybe she should read her friend Emily Gould’s (paging Emily Gould’s Trusty Google Alert!) essay on blowing through a $200K book advance because she thought it was “a lot” of money and that more would be easily coming her way. Guess what? She’s broke now.

    http://thebillfold.com/2012/04/more-than-1k-worth-of-clothes-ill-never-wear-again/

    It seems like she grew up in a fairly financially responsible household. Did momsers and dadsers never teach her how to save money? She’s blowing through cash like some hick who just won $500 on a scratch off.

  30. Shamoolia says:

    Oh jesus, I just read all of her tweets about car buying. Pop the popcorn bunnies, this is going to be even better than the time Mary was crying on video about getting dicked around at dealerships when it was time to sign on a loan. Julia’s in the “fun” part of car buying now – test driving a bunch of cars you can’t afford on paper. Can’t wait until she actually has to run a credit check and sign something. It’s going to be heeeelarious. No way is that bitch qualifying for a loan for a brand new 40K car.

    • Afghani says:

      Dumbdumb BeachHair got a brand new Audi and then bitched about it constantly.

      “I absolutely cannot stand my Audi 2009 A4. It drives like a lawnmower, something is always wrong with it, and the inside feels like a Honda, which would be fine, if I were paying for a Honda.

      Best advice I’ll give you in 2010, DO NOT BUY AN AUDI. ”

      http://www.morethanmary.com/2010/12/big-pain-in-my-tiny-ass/

      • Shamoolia says:

        HA! They are both idiots. Seriously. Fathers, do not spoil your daughters, because this is what becomes of them. Adult women-children who can’t make a single decent financial decision to save their lives. I remember when Mary was car shopping and asking for advice on her blog, everyone in the comments was telling her to buy something cheap and reliable like a Honda, Toyota or Hyundai. And she blew them all off because she wanted something more flashy, which of course bit her in her bony little ass.

        If Julia was smart (but she isn’t) she’s buy something like a $20K Hyundai Sonata with a 100K mile warranty and next-to-nothing maintenance and STFU about Caddys and Mercedes.

        • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

          I cannot see Julia driving a non-luxury car, especially while living in LA. When I lived in LA, I have to say that it felt like everyone drove some kind of luxury car and in fact, almost everyone was because they’d just lease an entry-level 3-series or C-class or take out a loan. Southern California is just a car culture. Drive into any solidly middle-class neighborhood in Orange County and there’s still BMWs and Mercedes-Benzes in the driveway.

          It’s really kind of silly and stupid.

          • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

            Errr, to clarify, what I meant is that somebody in any other city who would drive a Honda moves to LA and then leases themselves a C-class. It would be intolerable to Mary and Julia to just get themselves a nice little Toyota.

          • Shamoolia says:

            Of course. They are both such shallow, tacky label whores… I guess you’re saying most people in LA are the same? I don’t understand why she just doesn’t get a Prius, Mini or some other small but status-y cute car. Her obsession with “fast” cars and “sick whips” is so dumb and she is obviously just trying to come off as cool to guys. Gross and tacky, Julie.

          • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

            Shamoolia, yeah, I guess I’m offending my native Californians, but that’s kind of what I’m saying. The income to car ratio there is way, way out of whack — just like the income to mortgage ratios were out of whack. The emphasis on illusion (perception! as Jules would say) fits Julia perfectly.

          • Donksers says:

            Ha! “Sick whip.” She’s such an ass.

          • Extremely Large Size Medium says:

            So true. I lived in San Diego for a few years and that didn’t have the… feel… LA does, but whenever I went to LA in my dinky little Saturn sedan (paid for, bunnies! No financing!), I felt like I was surrounded by luxury cars.

            Actually, I was in LA again the other day for business and some dude in a BMW convertible tried to honk me into oncoming traffic at a red light, then once we were both able to turn, faux-swerved into me trying to scare me off the road. And I was like, really dude? You think I’m going to buy that?

            (Can you tell I miss SoCal, but not so much the LA part of it? San Diego is so down-to-earth and fun, IMO. It was a great place to be a broke kid!)

        • Albie Quirky says:

          Did MMBH’s father spoil her? I thought they were estranged.

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            even though her parents divorced, MMBH seems to have been close to her dad and has always spoken of him warmly. plus, she went to private school in Houston and for college, which I’m guessing was paid for by dad? in any case, she has expensive tastes that, like julia, she can’t afford without help.

          • Albie Quirky says:

            Prof. Camping, you are not one of those narrow specialists; your knowledge extends far beyond the bounds of mere Donkology.

            I am glad to know I was wrong about MMBH and her dad being estranged, because I have a soft spot for her weird dyslexic materialistic ass for some reason. Even when I want to shake her for some stupid thing she’s written, I still have hope for her. Unlike A Donkey.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        don’t forget that Mary’s Audi was a “tax write-off”…
        http://rebloggingdonk.com/2009/08/25/julia-allison-has-a-deal-for-you/#comment-44620

    • Albie Quirky says:

      I have no idea why she’s buying and not leasing. Leasing fits so well into her spendthrift, live-above-your-means-because-you-will-be-financially-rescued-by-some-guy lifestyle.

      (No offense to folks here who lease for good economic reasons; most of my friends who are realtors lease, for instance, and it makes sense for them. But A Donkey is the classic example of the person who wastes money on a lease because she wants something fancier than she can afford and her ship is going to come in any day now.)

  31. ShesJustStupid says:

    Just because the back and forth on this kind of made me laugh…

    Activity
    Recent

    Julia became friends with Hermione Way.
    16 hours ago

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA says:

      Waiting for the Hermione defender to claim she’s “contractually obligated” to be FB friends with Donk, hang out with her, proudly post pictures of them together, etc.

      • AFGHANI says:

        Hermione Way seems just as vapid and useless as A Donkey. Should make for good friends until one of them fucks the other over.

        • Peltergeist says:

          I’m actually surprised Julie never made it into the grifter “hack” tech circle in London with Milo whoever, Paultato Head, this chick, etc.

          • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

            Don’t forget her fucking on Michael Acton Smith in February. Eugh.

    • Worrisome Pelts says:

      Know who else is friends with Hermione Way? Everyone who doesn’t suck.

      #internalizingthesnark #nevarforgt

      • Albie Quirky says:

        We call her “Kitten-Shitter” and she makes us all the most incredible cupcakes, decorated with the semi-colons left over from her web copy. You’re jealous, admit it.

        • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

          Hey, hey you assholes! This isn’t GOMI!

        • Worrisome Pelts says:

          I am TOTS jelzies.

          (Related: A SV source/ZOMGCOLLEGECLASSMATE tells me that HW is known as WhoreMyOwn Way in some circles.)

          • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

            whatever, WhoreMyOwn is just another way to spell AWESOME!

            (WhoreMyOwn or Donkey, which is worse?)

  32. ShesJustStupid says:

    Aaaannd…she’s up!

    JuliaAllison “He’ll invest in ANYTHING!” is the new “He’ll f–k anyone.”
    11 minutes ago

    JuliaAllison Watching someone live their dreams is intimidating, sometimes painful – it forces you to ask yourself why you’re not living yours.

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      What the shit? Is she suggesting that people are somehow “intimidated” she is living her dream? A dream of being on reality television?

      She sure gives herself a lot of credit.

      I kant.

      • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

        she’s talking about michael’s wedding pictures, of course.

      • Helena (Betrays Signs Of Bitterness) says:

        I think she’s talking about rich (and possibly tiny’n’cute) bitches having money and her being a jellus hater because she doesn’t. She’s asking herself why she isn’t living her dream of being married to a rich founder. Answer: because people are “angry” with you over how many times you had Botox pumped into your face. Yeah, that must be it. /hopethathelps :)

    • Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

      i already saw that tweet last night, but it looks like she deleted and then re-tweeted it.
      ( this person replied to this tweet 13 hours ago…)

      • The Final Rose says:

        I just scurried over here to comment on this. Why did she repost it? It wasn’t funny the first time — the defeaning silence of Twitter’s non-response was not because everyone missed your biting wit the first time, you wanna-be comed-a-donk.

      • ShesJustStupid says:

        I thought I saw that last night as well! Such a Weirdo.

      • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

        It must be pointed at someone – and she got no reaction so she posted it again. Psycho-koo-koo.

    • stalker is the new fat says:

      i am living my dreams so speak for yourself beeeeeeeeeyatch. Maybe not with all the exact trappings that 10 year old me envisioned, but, yeah, pretty close.

  33. JuliaCleaver says:

    okay who play the joke on FoxNEWS and claimed that Donkey was the Gawker mole?

  34. Prof. F Camping Prof. F Camping says:

    any bets on whether Donkey will grift her way into Coachella this weekend? (Flusher Price is “covering” it for Mobli)

    • CaptainGary says:

      Then I’ll be looking for the Mobli tent to send word back to my catpeeps as to the ACTUAL size of Flusher Price’s twelvehead!

  35. Random Snowflake says:

    It looks like Julia has learned of [redacted2]’s wedding..

    [img]http://i.imgur.com/Z8B8n.png[/img]

    • Handbag Cohen Stuffed With Hair says:

      I am no white knight (obviously, Hermione!) but that would feel awful. She has the solution in her own hands: THERAPY, humility, self-abnegation. Find out why she can’t love or be loved and change it. A wedding is nothing, as I’ve said on numerous occasions, and I should know, having had more than one. What matters is having the open-hearted goodness worthy of a lifelong commitment. She has to start at the very bottom with no agenda and no self-protection and take in what she learns. I know it’s not simple, but the energy she puts into scheming has got to be even more complicated and exhausting.

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        She deserves to feel awful. I’m glad. People only realize THEY need to change when things get painful enough. I think she’s a long, long, LONG fucking way away from any kind of change.

      • Albie Quirky says:

        What she needs to do is get in her loaner Cadillac, drive to a Home Depot, buy an extremely tall ladder, AND USE IT TO GET THE FUCK OVER HERSELF.

        But like all of our good advice, she won’t take it.

      • Random Snowflake says:

        Well said. If she were truly “the normal, emotionally healthy Julia I am today” other peoples success and happiness would not make her sad.

    • Charles Forman was her Jake Lodwick Lite says:

      I’m reading this in a different way than you guys are. To me, it seems like she’s saying that we or any of her critics are the jealous, intimidated ones watching her live her dreams.

      • "Pilot" is the new "keynote" says:

        I actually think it’s not about [REDACTED] at all. She’s prepping some big bullshit excuse for pulling out of a commitment. “But I need to FOLLOW MY DREAMS!”

  36. The Manta says:

    “Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!! Another $58 parking ticket for 19 minutes over the hour … Fie on you, vigilant Venice traffic cops!”

    BINGO!

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      “Another” LOL – such a dumb Donkey – 19 minutes over, how about 1 second over. LA budget crisis ain’t gonna pay for itself, bish.

    • Malformed Face (like a blow-up doll left in a hot car) says:

      PS – If she’s mad about $58 bucks wait until she sees how much it costs to get routine dings and scrapes out of her “sick whip” b/c LA drivers do not give a shizzzzzzzzzz.

    • Effing Ineffably Un-Effable says:

      20 minutes over in Venice may as well be six months. What a dumb donkey.

      Can’t wait for the WeHo tickets. Those are pretty spendy as I recall too.

    • Barking Mad says:

      This reminds me of her speeding tickets. She is going to lose her shit when she has to get her own car insurance! All those tee-hee-haw tickets are going to jack her rates to the max.

      Car ownership is for adults, Julia. Have fun with it.

    • diluted brain says:

      Here’s an idea…. pay attention to the time your meter will end and refill it or leave! What a lazy brat.

  37. diluted brain says:

    Her car tweets are giving me the stabbies!!!! Mainly because my husband and I plan to purchase a new car this year or the next. We have other stuff to buy/fix around the house that comes first. Anyway, I’m so pissed to read this princess is going to buy a luxury car when she has no $, no career, no anything! How does she afford this lifestyle? WTF. I purchased my current car right out of college making chicken scratch and this shithead gets a reality show and thinks she can afford buying a mercedes.

    Being that we’re taking about cars, does anyone have a little SUV? Recs?

    • Sick Whip says:

      Feel free to relax! She’s obviously not making that much money if she’s bitching to everyone about how little she’s being paid!

      Seriously, I can’t wait to see when this supposed Intel announcement drops. $100k my ass.

      • pearipathetic donkey says:

        Yeah, if her Intel contract is real why doesn’t she just pay for the car in cash? Something is not adding up.

    • Ass baughers syndrome says:

      I drive a Jetta station wagon diesal get 40 city and 55 highway. It’s been great

      • AFGHANI says:

        Diesel engines usually get better MPG. I want a VW CC diesel as my next car. Diesels are getting a lot better. And diesel fuel is usually priced pretty close to midgrade gasoline.

        • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

          Well, diesal in these parts (northeast) is always more expensive than the highest grade gasoline and you have to know where they sell diesal because you can’t ever let them run out of gas. Last I paid was $4.39 per gallon but I only fill it twice a month. Afghani, if you are considering one, they’re great – no smell and are very quiet.

          • Ass Baughers Syndrome says:

            No CC diesal yet..just in Europe .

          • AFGHANI says:

            I know they do the Passat in diesel in the US. I’ve been seeing CCs on the road but I’m hoping to wait until a diesel comes out.

            And here in Maryland, diesel is usually priced above 89 octane but below 93. I just looked today, it was $3.99 in Kingsville, MD.

    • The Tortuous and the Hair says:

      I second Ass baughers syndrome, and recommend a station wagon. I drive lots of rental cars through work and my own station wagon handles way better than any SUV I’ve driven. I have a 2005 Subaru Legacy 2.5 GT Limited wagon (bought it used) and it’s a dream car. Only basic maintenance required, not expensive to maintain. The only drawback I can think of is that I have to use premium gas for the turbo engine but overall it’s the best car I’ve owned or driven. It’s also super safe (many airbags) and with AWD, it’s very sure-footed in rain or snow. The smaller SUVs I’ve driven feel like they’re threatening to roll going around curves.

      • diluted brain says:

        How often can one say they “second ass baugher sydrome”. lol.

        Thank you both for the suggestions :)

    • Shamoolia says:

      I luuuuuurve my little Hyundai Tuscon compact SUV. Their warranty is the bomb and maintenance is very cheap.

    • Get a Stylist says:

      My sister’s Honda Element (purchased new, now paid for, she’s mature like that) has never given her any trouble.

      • stalker is the new fat says:

        I’ve wanted one of those since forever but the back windows don’t roll down and that was a dealbreaker for my son. Elements are good for DINKs but not parents.

    • Slutty Catbanger says:

      My sister has Ford Escape hybrid that she really likes.

  38. AFGHANI says:

    Just a note to Julier (since I know you read here, bunny)– RHNJ comes back in about 10 days… DVR that and watch for tips if you want to know what you’re going to have to compete with if you want the Bravo version of “fuck you money”.

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